Archive of Our Own ^beta

It had started as a pretty mundane Saturday, Troy and Abed needing to kill some time before D&D night at Neil's place. Normally they would have played some videogames and watched movies but they had been horrified to discover at 1pm when they woke up from last night's shenanigans that Annie’s brother was visiting and was sitting his awkward ass on their couch. So to the mall they went, Troy commenting on how he’d be picking up some lovely ladies but full-on knowing he would not be once they realized the date would come with Abed. He didn't really care that much in the end, for practicing his sexy swagger was only part of the fun of a day at the mall. Re-enacting movie tropes was another.

They had already done Mallrats and Splash, but the second one was after hours after they had bribed Officer Cackowski who was moonlighting as mall security so he had extra cash to buy a Playstation. They had both ended up soaked from the adventure in the mall goldfish pond, but it had been worth it. Troy still smiled fondly when he remembered how fun it was to not have any legs.

Today he supposed they might do what they did ninety percent of the time though, and that was go to the food court and get some fries and shakes. Maybe some frozen yogurt if Pierce wasn’t their fucking up the machine. 

As they approached the Shakes and Salt stand, Abed held out his arm and blocked Troy from proceeding. 

“Whoah, what is it?”

“Pierce is here. We need to make a 180.”

They both nodded and quickly maneuvered, scurrying away as they heard a shriek.

“Troy! A-bed! Let’s hang out!”

They quickened their paces even more and found themselves in a JC Penny’s.

“Well this blows.”

Abed turned to Troy and shook his head. Then glanced over his shoulder before he placed his index finger to his lips. Troy nodded and looked past him to see Pierce entering near the sweaters. After some silent eye and hand gestures, they scampered into position.

As Pierce approached, they held still, Abed in his new baseball cap found in aisle 3 and Troy in his very cool faux leather jacket along with a tennis racket. Troy tried very hard not to breathe, his eyes darting to Abed several times before realizing Abed was completely in character as a mannequin.

Pierce looked both ways and then moved on, muttering something underneath his breath. Troy then sneezed, and contrary to all tropes, nothing happened.

Abed remarked on that and re-animated but then turned to Troy and said, “We really need to do something else. This was very anticlimactic.”

“I’m in!”

x

x

Later that week, Abed was escorted by a peeved looking Officer Cackowski off the mall premises.  

“I couldn’t look the other way this time, kid.”

“I understand.”

“Do you? Because this was kind of a bigger thing, which I am looking the other way on because you got me those donuts, but come on. You can’t just live at the mall all week.”

“I wasn’t living at the mall, I was working.”

“Sure you were. You know, we’ll find your friend soon, and he will also be banned. No more playtime.”

“But we created the most vibrant window displays in a generation. I’m a true artist.”

The resulting shove from Cracowski didn’t deter Abed too much, for he knew he and Troy had achieved greatness. Their displays had attracted a large crowd for the past week, each one more colorful than the next. Abed had even stopped going to classes now that he had managed to get himself hired as a department store window dresser.

He silently hoped Troy was holding position and not sneezing this time. If they thought he was a mannequin for  just a little longer, he could sneak back in and finish enacting the plot.

X

X

That night, as Abed rode through the city on his motorcycle, the wind in his hair and a sequined Troy in tow, he ignored the stares of passersby. 

Being banned from the Greendale Mall was a small price to pay for greatness.