Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Oh ashes, ashes, dust to dust
The devil's after both of us
Ooh, lay my curses out to rest
Make a mercy out of me"

—The Crane Wives, "Curses"

Mako had always told Erza to stay away from the ocean whenever she was alone. She also told her to stay away from the roads, and from the forest past the hills that were on the other side of Pigeon Creek. Erza knew the reason why, and it wasn’t like she never listened. There were pirates in the ocean, and also bandits, and also the barbarian soldiers. The soldiers got into their land and started hurting people and taking things, so Fiore was at war with them right now. That’s the reason why Mako’s husband, and Miko’s dad, was gone—he went to the war to fight the barbarians and then he died.  So, Erza knew that she should be careful, so she listened to Mako and didn’t go to all the places she wasn’t supposed to go—most of the time. But it was hard—Erza had a lot of work she needed to do for the villagers of Rosemary so she could “earn her keep,” even though it was mostly Mako who took care of her, and she didn’t like staying in one place, anyways. She liked taking the outside jobs more than the inside ones. But it was fine—if anything bad happened, Erza was good at running fast. So, when she was supposed to go out to get water from the creek with Carl, and Carl was asleep, she went alone, because it would be fine.

So really, Erza never broke the rules. She wasn’t that far away, because she was on the side of the creek closest to the village and not on the other side with the hills. She wasn’t that far.

But they came for her anyways.

Erza didn’t have enough time to run. She didn’t notice until the man was right behind her and the creek was in front of her. She dropped the bucket but there was nowhere for her to go but she ran anyways and then there was someone in front of her and the guy behind her pushed her down and pinned her to the ground, pressing her face into the silt of the creek bed. Still, Erza screamed as loud as she possibly could.

She didn’t get that far with screaming before a rag got shoved into her mouth followed by another strip of cloth bound around her face to seal it in place. The guy tied her hands behind her back and her feet after that, and she tried and tried to get away while he did it, but she wasn’t strong enough at all.

“Ha, easy pickings!” the guy in front exulted with a smirk, crossing his arms. “Come on, hurry up and take her back before someone shows up. Heh, not that it’s likely—I bet at least half the fighting adults from that village are either off in that war or dead already. Seriously, with a bigger ship and a few more men, I bet we could snatch up that entire place without a sweat!”

Erza kept struggling as they dragged her off, all the way to the coastline where a ship and a rowboat were waiting.

“Ha, feisty one, isn’t she?”

No, no, this couldn’t be it—she had to get back! She had to—

They sailed her over and threw her onto the deck, her head ringing from crashing onto the hard wooden planks. It was then that she realized that she wasn’t the only one…

Some guy lifted her up by the arm, and she pulled away. Twisted her body, jolted herself, and even tried to bite him through the gag. She wasn’t going to make this easy.

“Little brat!”

He forced her back down onto the deck, letting her head hit violently against the floorboard. Then he did it again, and then a third time…

She blacked out before he got to the fourth.

+++

“Hey, are you awake?”

Erza blearily opened her eyes, only vaguely aware of the strange voice beside her that sounded both hopeful and concerned.

“Mm…Mako?” Erza slurred her words groggily, squinting her eyes against the afternoon sun streaming through the iron bars in the ship’s deck just above her. Her head felt like it was swimming through rocks, but it didn’t take long for her to remember just what had happened.

Her hands were bound in front of her now, with her feet still tied like before, but gratefully, the gag was gone. She was sitting against a wall in this large dungeon-like room inside the ship’s hull, which was filled with many other people similarly bound. She didn’t know what that stench was that assaulted her nose while she looked, but it was awful.

She searched to find the voice from a second earlier, and found that a boy about the same age as she was, with blue hair and a weird birthmark on his face, was sitting beside her, offering a weak smile as he met her gaze. She then noticed that he was holding a small piece of bread in between his bound hands. “They came to give us food earlier while you were still asleep,” the boy explained. “They skipped you, so I saved you a little bit of mine.”

Erza stared blankly at his hands as he dropped the morsel into hers, and then back at his face. “Oh…thanks!” The bread felt hard and horrible, and she didn’t really have much of an appetite, but that was still nice of him.

“How are you feeling?” the stranger asked.

“I’m okay,” Erza lied. Well, she was mostly okay, probably. If she ignored her head and the ropes digging into her skin and any thoughts and fears about where she was right now. “How are you?”

The boy blinked a few times, as if unable to figure out how to answer. “Okay.”

“That’s good.” She smiled back at him as best she could. “So, what’s your name? Mine’s Erza. Just Erza.”

He seemed to need a few seconds to think on that one too, as if that too was something he hadn’t thought about yet. “Jellal,” he answered simply, his smile growing more relaxed. “Just Jellal.”

+++

Ten years later…

Erza let out a battle-ready scream, sword drawn and feet racing to meet her opponent. “Pest, begone!!” she shouted as she launched herself into the air, bringing the sword down to slice the beast through the middle. And one slice was all it took. The giant roach-like creature fell to the ground with one final squeal and died. A little disappointing, really. She thought it would be tougher.

Still, Erza was satisfied to turn around and see that the other roaches had been easily felled by her companions. The old underground stone halls that had been so suddenly filled with the cacophonous screeching of giant roaches flooding in from the shadows had been silenced just as quickly. Illuminated by the freshly lit torches on the walls, Erza could see that everyone was safe and uninjured, albeit a little covered in grime.

“Ugh,” Gray groaned a little in disgust as he flicked the gooey green guts of a roach off of his bare shoulder, not paying attention to how he was flinging it in a straight path to Levy’s face, who responded with a startled yelp as she quickly scrambled to dodge.

“Gihi! What, afraid of a little slime?” Gajeel taunted as he very intentionally tried to shake a bit of the guts slathered across his own arm her way.

“Gajeel!” Levy protested angrily, arms stiff against her sides. To her defense, she was already very much covered in the grime of the battle herself. More of it would probably be inconvenient to her for research purposes, although Erza admittedly knew little of what that research process was, exactly. She just knew that it was the job of Erza and her squad to keep her safe, and that was precisely what she would do.

“Gajeel! It is not kind to torment the love of your life!” Juvia scolded promptly.

“EHH!?”

Erza chuckled a little at the knight and the scholar’s simultaneous startled sound of protest. However, she brought herself back to full attention on their environment quickly; as the unelected unofficial acting leader of the squad of Royal Knights when Gildarts was not around (and sometimes also when he was around), she needed to keep her ears and eyes attentive for any sign of danger.

“It looks like we’re in the clear,” Gray interrupted Gajeel and Levy’s moment with a brief exasperated exhale, sheathing his sword. “Hopefully we won’t be dealing with any more of that.”

“Agreed.” Erza nodded, also satisfied that the vermin had been taken care of for the moment being. “We may continue, however!” She pointed her sword at Gray as a simple way of indicating that it was to him that she was speaking. “Do not let your guard down! Our swords must remain always at the ready!”

“Oh, I believe Gray hasn’t let his guard down at all,” Juvia countered with a note of genuine concern. “He is very tense. Does Gray not like the ruins? Or the roaches?”

“What?” Gray raised an eyebrow as if offput by the wording. “It’s not like…no, I’m fine.” He shook his head. “I’m not worried about what we’ll run into, if that’s what you’re thinking. I guess, if anything, you could say that I am not exactly thrilled with the idea of following down Mad King Zeref’s research footsteps, that’s all.”

For that, Erza did hit Gray over the head (with her hand, not her sword), just a little. As a leader should.

“Wha—HEY!”

“You shouldn’t speak like that in front of Natsu,” she scolded before just as promptly starting to walk ahead to their destination again, prompting everyone else to do the same.

Gray sighed heavily, his tone understanding despite his rolling eyes. “I know that,” he acknowledged seriously, before mumbling to himself about how Natsu wasn’t even here right now, as if that negated the point being made.

They all knew that Natsu cared about his brother, and that he wasn’t exactly comfortable with the “Mad King” moniker that many people have given to the former ruler of Fiore. Erza understood the people’s fear and anger towards Zeref, but she wanted to respect Natsu’s wishes regardless. He was her king, but more importantly, he was her friend. It was not out of fear that she wouldn’t speak unduly ill of Zeref in his presence, but simply out of consideration for his feelings.

Besides, she was certain that if Natsu saw good in Zeref, it must hold some truth. Not that she had personal experience working with him, exactly. None of them did. Gildarts was the only one of their squad who actually fought in the war with Tartarus back then (the only one old enough to possibly have), and he had the missing arm to prove it. Erza was very young when most of this happened, besides being, well…away, for nearly a year of it. It was while she was gone that the invaders attacked Fiore’s capital, and Natsu’s parents, the king and queen at the time, were killed. Then Zeref became king. He was young—eighteen, Erza thinks—but still, old enough to have a whole war dropped into his hands. Natsu mentioned before that Zeref really didn’t want the crown all that much—he just wanted to be a scientist. Natsu would then laugh about how he used to stay up reading all night and stress out their governess who claimed that he would go blind from reading by candlelight too long, and then he would mention how Zeref used to help him with his lessons, or how he would read stories to him at night when he was little, even though he never read fiction on his own…

Well, Erza didn’t know the details, still. She didn’t what Zeref was thinking, at the time. She just heard the tales of how Zeref ultimately won the war nearly singlehandedly…and made enemies of the entire Ishgar Alliance in the process.

“Erza’s right, and it’s not ‘following in his footsteps’!” Levy protested in turn. “We’re just researching the ancient civilization that our country just so happens to be built on top of that happens to have half of its texts written in a dead language we, very tragically, have yet to understand. It’s research. Zeref doesn’t have to have a monopoly on Mildia’s secrets, you know.”

“But Zeref does know the language that no one else has figured out yet?” Juvia observed.

Levy released something in between a sigh, a huff, and a growl. “Yeah, since he decided he wasn’t going to share…”

“Guess he thought it’d be more fun that way!” Gajeel teased with a playful ruffling of Levy’s hair.

“H-Hey! Hmph. Well anyways, we’re just logging some old writings on the walls down here. No one’s summoning an ancient abomination, or anything. And I can speak for the entire team on that!”

“Even Laki?” Juvia questioned innocently.

“Ehhhhhhh, well…y-yeah, sure!” she assured in an unconvincingly high-pitched tone.

“Your voice is squeaking,” Gray observed in deadpan.

“Okay, maybe Laki. But only out of curiosity. She won’t—oh, look! That’s it!”

They came upon a stone wall covered in images and writing, their torches collectively illuminating the ancient inscriptions that had been hidden away by this tunnel. Erza stood back and watched as Levy hurriedly started transcribing it all onto the pad of paper that she brought in. Once their expedition was over, she would be sharing whatever was here with all of her fellow scholars. Erza had no idea what any of this said (well, no one here did, not yet), nor did she have much of a clue as to their significance, but if it was important to them, then that was enough for her. She would battle as many cockroaches as it took.

Levy had a position known as a “Scholar of the Court,” a thing that was technically one of Zeref’s additions to the system, but was really started by Mavis, a strategist who died during the war. Laki used to work with her and then with Zeref, apparently, making Laki now the senior member of this team of professional researchers, whose jobs were precisely to uncover the secrets of science and the history of their world—and also run the military’s intelligence network. That part was just a bit less widely known. Erza got to meet all of them after becoming a Royal Knight: Levy and Laki as well as Freed and Lucy. Not a large team, but they were good at what they did. Erza liked working with them. They were also her people now, just like the Royal Knights. Friends, even.

The rest of the excursion went by without much incident. No other subterranean creatures attacked them. It was almost unnecessary to have most of the squad present, but in a time of peace like this, overcompensating was a luxury they could afford, sometimes—and besides, you never knew when some great fiend would strike. When it came to protecting their people, no task was too small for their team—just like no task was too large, either.

“Thanks for the help!” Levy expressed with a smile and sharp exhale as they returned to the daylight once more. “Heh, now I guess we’ll just have to see how many more transcriptions it will take before we crack the code to learn what any of it says!”

+++

It was about a week later when Erza heard the news about the upcoming Magnolia Banquet, which was coming another four weeks after that. She knew about the banquet itself—of course. It was an annual event, suspended for some time during the war and due to tensions following it but started back up again three years ago. Every year, leaders and dignitaries from all the continent’s four kingdoms would gather here to do diplomacy while being entertained by the festivities. The other kingdoms had similar events of their own, ones that they declined to invite Zeref to but consented to start inviting Natsu to.

Erza was involved with the banquet both last year and the year before that, namely in providing security detail during it and helping with the preparations beforehand. She never conversed with any of the guests—well, unless they did something that required her intervention. Not that it was ever necessary for the royals, anyways. Well, except for that one time last year when she admonished Queen Kagura for not eating enough refreshments, not realizing that she was a queen at all—she had a sword, so she looked like a knight. They had a friendly duel the next day, actually. She was quite the excellent fighter. But no, for the most part, Erza only stood guard and watched and listened during that event, content to do her part in the background while the others did theirs. However…this year she might act otherwise—no, she was going to act otherwise, if only for just a little while. Because this year, Prince Jellal was going to be there.

Erza remembers very well that moment a few years ago when she heard mention of the name “Prince Jellal Fernandez” for the first time. Immediately, she could not help but think of the Jellal she knew, the Jellal who she could only hope made it home safely after they parted, the Jellal who she trusted like she had never trusted anyone besides Mako before, even though he always did seem to avoid questions about himself, his home, and his family. Erza knew very well that the name could be pure coincidence. It was not at all unlikely that many people could have the same name. But…they were from the same country—Pergrande, Fiore’s neighbor to the west. And Erza couldn’t rest until she knew for sure, so she asked questions. That’s how she learned that Jellal was, at that time, a teenager about the same age as she was, with bright blue hair and a curious arcane birthmark over his right eye.  

It didn’t take very long before Erza was positive that they must be the same person. But the more she became certain of that, the more she became confused, as well. Jellal was a prince? Then, why didn’t he mention it? And why was he alone? It made sense how someone like Erza could have gotten caught by those slave traders like she was, but Jellal should have been more protected than that, right? And even after getting caught, the guards surely should have come to rescue him. Erza had many questions, but unfortunately, there seemed no way to answer them without talking to Jellal herself, and she simply could not do that. Even if she could just walk into Pergrande today (which she probably couldn’t do, as Mirajane and others informed her that they had been strict lately over who could cross the borders, people needing a specific purpose to do so), she couldn’t gain entry to the king’s castle, not as just Erza. Of course, if it was only herself that she had to consider, she may very well have done it anyways and just let them try to stop her from finding Jellal. But, Erza wouldn’t do it, because she was a knight. She unfortunately had to realize that barging in, as a knight of Fiore, especially with what Zeref did not long ago making some people not particularly big fans of Fiore, might cause a few problems bigger than herself. So, she had to wait for an opportunity. Mirajane, knowing the situation, did offer not that long ago to bring her along on their next diplomatic trip, as one of the knight escorts, and Erza appreciated that. But now, it seemed like the chance might come sooner than she thought it would.

“Uhhh…what’s a ‘Shrimp Seaweed Rosemary Egg’?”

“A traditional Minstrelan dish. I was planning on including a few such items from the other nations in the menu, as a friendly gesture. That’s why I gave you the choice between that and their famous Seaweed Crabcake Vegetable Platter,” Mirajane explained, then patiently pausing to let Natsu make his decision. At present, she was presenting him with many pages of information concerning the menu for the Magnolia Banquet, which he was scanning through with rapidly tiring eyes. Erza watched them somewhat from the background, waiting to talk to Natsu as well once Mirajane was finished.

“Yeah, but, an egg?” Natsu shrugged, sounding confused still. “Do you mean an egg is in it, or, uhh…”

“It’s in the shape of an egg, actually. It’s a paste, served as an appetizer. It’s very good, in my opinion, although I’m sure we wouldn’t be able to make it quite like the people of Minstrel could. And I have a feeling some in the delegation will say as much, but that’ll just give us the opportunity to invite them to show us their way of making it, when we visit their kingdom next. It could be an open invitation, in a way.”

“Huh, well…sounds good!” Natsu affirmed with an enthusiastic thumbs-up.

“So which one would you like?”

Natsu responded with a shrug. “I don’t know, both are fine, I guess? Hey! You know what?” Natsu handed the stack of papers back to Mirajane with a grin. “I think you should get to decide what the menu should be! I mean, you know more about fancy food than I do, right? So yeah, pick whichever one you want best! Problem solved!”

Mirajane chuckled a little under her breath, smiling in turn. “Alright, I’ll let the planning committee know.”

Erza waited around a moment longer while Mirajane left. Listening to the conversation, she found she knew about as little about cuisine as Natsu, but as long as they had cake, Erza would be satisfied with whatever they prepared. The whole court seemed to depend on Mirajane for these things anyways. She was a diplomat, but she was an organizer. Or, secretary, was it? Well, titles didn’t matter all that much, anyways. Mirajane was Mirajane. Erza was told that she used to be a knight, actually—Gildarts even said she was one of the best, but she retired after the war. Erza was very curious as to why…but she decided that she wouldn’t question it. She knew what it was like to have things you didn’t want to speak of—or rather, didn’t want to remember.

“Hello, Natsu?” Erza asked before taking a moment to clear her throat. Natsu’s attention was immediately drawn away from the other document on his table he had just started to look at.

“Huh? Oh, yeah! What’s up?”

“I…well…wanted to ask you about something, my lord,” she started, suddenly feeling a lot more awkward with the thought than she believed she should be, even slipping back into an honorific even though Natsu had insisted long ago that they didn’t need to call him any kind of title like that. She cleared her throat again. “About the banquet. There’s…Jellal’s going to be there.”

“Huh, Jellal? Oh, right!” His eyes registered alarm with the realization. “Jellal! Your friend! Who’s, like, that prince guy from Pergrande!”

“Yes, that’s him.” She exhaled steadily, almost adding the delineation that she was technically not absolutely sure it was him—but no, she was rather sure of it, by now.

“Well…that’s great, right? You’ll finally get to meet with him!” Natsu appeared excited on her behalf.

“Yes! That’s…what I wanted to ask you about. Would it be alright, if I take some time off to meet him? I know my duties as a—”

“What!? Of course you can! He’s your friend; you can talk for the entire time if you want to!”

Erza opened her mouth as if about to say something in opposition on instinct, but nothing of note came to mind. She simply smiled. “Thank you.” She supposed she had known already that Natsu wouldn’t have a problem with it, but still, she was grateful. She never did tell anyone about what happened to her back then in all that much detail—it just wasn’t necessary to talk about it, since it was all in the past and she was a very different person now from the weak child who had gotten herself kidnapped then. However, she had eventually decided to tell her closest friends some things. She told them about the slave traders, and about how she found a friend among the other victims, and about how the two of them eventually escaped together and made it back to Fiore. The important parts, without any of the details in between. She did feel bad because of how much it upset Natsu, though. It was like he felt responsible for it happening, even though it was ten years ago and he was just a child like she was. And it wasn’t his parents’ fault, either. Fiore was just…weak, because of the war, and because they were weak, people like that took advantage of them, the Bosco slave trade being one of the biggest contenders. A little less than five years ago, Natsu was handed the crown after Zeref suddenly disappeared without a trace. He had a mountain of things to deal with, but one of the first things he did was to personally track down these kidnappers who had raided a town and make them pay, as well as get the people back. Erza would always respect him for that. She was a knight-in-training herself at the time, but it wouldn’t be long before she had the chance to accompany him on a mission just like that, before he ever even knew her personal story.

So, when Natsu back then had started blaming himself again for all the bad things happening in Fiore, Erza was certain to let him make good on his word telling them that they could act naturally around him, treating him just like they would anyone else, and thusly slapped some sense into him. Both literally and metaphorically. It was not his fault. He had done more than enough to prove that he cared about the people of Fiore, namely in that he never acted like he did anything just for the sake of proving himself. Helping people and standing up for his friends and his people was simply what his instinct was to do, and Erza would always admire that. She would gladly fight with him, for as long as she was alive and breathing.

“Yeah, don’t mention it!” Natsu grinned wide in turn. “Don’t worry; everything’s going to work out great!”

Now, there was nothing left for Erza to do but wait—and also do her part making preparations, which were many. Making plans and giving instructions to the royal guard, drilling said guard, continuing to train both them and herself, and also ensuring that strawberry cake would indeed be on the menu, as it should be. She was busy, so her mind was almost distracted enough to not think about Jellal so much.

…almost, but of course not even close to entirely.

Nine years ago, about a year after their capture, Erza and Jellal escaped from Bosco together. They were lucky enough to have gotten the opportunity to, and lucky enough to not have been separated so far as to have no hope of ever finding each other again, as it was for so many of the others. They ran through the wilderness for weeks, forced to take a complicated path both to avoid people and due to getting terribly lost for much of it. Erza had nothing with her except for the sword she took, but it was enough. Eventually, they made it to the coast and managed to steal a small fishing boat and get to Fiore on it. They had traveled all the way to Rosemary Village when Jellal decided that they should part ways. She should go home, and he would keep going to Pergrande. It made sense, since Pergrande was farther away, but Erza didn’t like it. She didn’t want to leave him alone. And she couldn’t understand why he didn’t even want to come to the village to meet Mako and Miko. He was being closed off and mysterious again—which he had done before, although it never really changed the fact that she trusted him with everything—with her life, even. After they escaped, she had to. So at the moment they were about to part, all she wanted was to know that he would be fine. She even offered that he stay at Rosemary with her! Because she then wondered if he didn’t have a family at all, and he was just too embarrassed to tell her. Knowing what she knew now, she wondered if it really was just because he was a prince, and he couldn’t tell her simply because that was the rule.

Erza worried, but she was still glad beyond any words that she could use to describe the feeling of being home again, of seeing Mako and Miko and finally putting to death her fears that something terrible had happened to them, too. She would discover that the whole village was still alive and well—okay, maybe not well, but not so different than before. It was…strange, actually, that so little had changed. It was the same town, the same forest, the same creek and ocean, although somewhere beyond it, there were other towns who had gotten ravaged by raiders or the enemy army while Erza was gone—going through the same war, just like before.

Erza remembered the day that Zeref ended that war. It was just about four months after she got back, that day that some writers would just call “the day the earth shook.” She remembered getting violently woken up that morning by the ground pulsing underneath her, like it was trying to bounce her off of it. First thoughts of panic said that it was definitely an earthquake, but even then she knew that earthquakes were not like that—they just shook, they didn’t pulse every three seconds like the beating of a drum. Mako burst into her bedroom in panic, Miko already in her arms, telling her to get out of the house. Avoiding the broken shards of pottery from the shelfs now scattered across the floor, they made it to the outside with everyone else, and that’s when they saw it.

There was a monster, rising above the trees. It was stomping through the ocean, making no sound other than the thunderous boom of every step. Some people ran away, but Erza was one of the ones who went closer, because it was clear that wasn’t like it was interested in them anyways, and also, she knew what it was. She read the books. And even if it was dangerous, she had a sword now. She was going to face it.

At the top of the cliff lining their coast, she watched as a giant golem—part organic, part machine, like a walking leafy stone tower with glowing eyes—marched through the shallow part of the ocean as if on a mission to somewhere that was not Rosemary Village. In the distance, she could see the shadows of other giant figures that were probably a golem just like it, marching towards the same place.

When Erza was little, she heard and read about all the legends of Mildia—or, some of them, anyways. Mildia was an ancient empire that used to exist where Fiore is now—and also Pergrande, and Minstrel, and Caelum. These four kingdoms made up the continent of Ishgar today, and they were all part of the Ishgar Alliance. History told them that the four kingdoms rose up on the ruins of Mildia after the empire collapsed, but no one seemed to agree on exactly how that all happened—but Erza wasn’t a historian. She just knew that Mildia had technology that was completely incomprehensible to people today, and those golems that she had seen in drawings in books were one of them. People had discovered them before, resting in underground labyrinths built beneath the land and the ocean, but no one knew what to do with them. No one even knew the language.

That is, no one knew until Zeref. Long after the golems had marched away from view and the earth stopped shaking, she learned of what happened. Somehow, their king summoned these ancient creatures, and he drove them straight to the enemy camps and their armies. The golems were weapons, and they crushed them. Literally. They also fired beams from their eyes. Erza was told that it was brutal. She couldn’t say that she felt any sympathy for the invaders, but she was sure it must have been…well, shocking.

The war was over very quickly after that, with the decimated enemy army fleeing (not that many of them were given the chance). Fiore’s problems were, however, far from over. In summoning the golems from all across the ruins of Mildia, Zeref inevitably made them rise from the earth in Pergrande, Minstrel, and Caelum as well. Even though they actively attacked no one, they still left a trail of destruction in their wake, indiscriminately crushing even entire cities, sometimes. They were all outraged, but Zeref infamously sent a message to each of them telling them that the fault was their own—they were supposed to be an alliance, so they should have helped Fiore when they were in need, rather than declining to give aid in the belief that it was pointless, as if Fiore would fall anyways.

It looked like there might be war once again, but no one dared cross Zeref. And while Fiore also struggled to rebuild, both from the attackers and the collateral damage, Zeref just…kept going. He continued his research, continuing to build on Mildia’s knowledge to make new and monstruous things—not that Erza knew what they were. There were just tons of rumors, and those who did know chose to not say anything. Makarov, Natsu’s senior advisor, who had served under Zeref and their parents before that, said that it was best to “leave the past in the past” and just left it at that.

Not that the other kingdoms wanted to “leave the past,” though. When Natsu became king, everyone was still angry at Fiore. But, he tried to make things right. He went to everyone and offered support in rebuilding, and talked with them, and although it took some time, they were friendly now. Erza herself was part of some of these missions to assist people across the border. Sure, their resources were few, but they did their best. It would all be fine now—or at least, it will be in time.

However, knowing that tensions existed, Erza did sometimes have doubts. Or, questions, really? “Warrod, why are we bringing in so many soldiers?” Erza questioned the senior general one day a couple of weeks before the banquet. In the midst of drilling the royal guard, the Royal Knights had also been tasked with training soldiers brought in from other bases in the countryside. It was to be expected that they would need a few extra people, but it was starting to seem like a lot. “We’re not expecting danger, are we?” Because if they were, she needed to know. Even if Erza was given the go to not be on duty on the day of the banquet, she would absolutely be on the front lines fighting if anything was happening anywhere.

Warrod laughed—a reaction that promptly told Erza that she actually had nothing to worry about…probably. The old general did tend to make light of things—a lot—but that didn’t mean he didn’t know what he was doing, either. “Ah, don’t worry. It’s for show.”

“For…show?”

“Mm-hmm.” He nods. “What better way to greet the fine people of the Alliance than with streets filled with guards?” He paused a moment, as if waiting for Erza to get it, but then just chuckled at himself again. “It is to make us look strong.” He breathed in deep, his tone turning more serious. “Sadly, Erza, you will find that many people see us as weak nowadays—you may have noticed already, hmm? Oh, they were scared of Zeref, but the rest of Fiore? Nah. Not very much. So, without our beloved mad scientist around anymore, we have to put a little show on sometimes, you see? Make it look like we have a little more of an army than we really do,” he concluded with a wink.

“Hmm, I see.” Erza nodded thoughtfully. “So, you’re saying we should strike fear in our guests, too?”

Warrod laughed at her…again. “Ha! Not quite! But, close enough. Hey, you already got the idea, I think! Ah, like when you challenged Queen Kagura to a duel last year…” he reminisced with a wistful sigh, “almost gave old man Makarov a heart attack on the spot…”

“Hey! I didn’t know! I mean, she didn’t—”

“Ah, Erza, don’t worry.” He shook his head as he patted her on her armored shoulder. “You have done just fine. I will have no worries at all in leaving the army to you when I retire—which will be soon, by the way. I am far too old for this! Ah, soon, my garden…I will be with you and you alone very soon…”

Erza smiled and shook her head, making no further rebuttal to General Warrod and his retirement dreams. “Thank you. I have much to learn, but…we will protect Fiore for you. And that is a promise.”

+++

Erza came to the grand Mercurius Palace gathering hall in the full armor of a Fioran Royal Knight, but she didn’t join any regiment or attend to any post. Her team was scattered throughout Crocus today, watching over each part of the city and overseeing different companies of royal guards. They all assured her that they would be fine today—she could have the day off, and they could deal with any trouble that comes their way, if any. Of course, Erza would be there if there was an attack, regardless. Still, either way, she felt more comfortable in her armor. She wouldn’t pretend to be something she was not, and besides, she felt more secure in her armor in general, anyways. These days, she wore it more often than not.

To most of the many guests filling into the banquet hall today, she would simply be another knight walking by on some mission expected of a knight. Hopefully, they wouldn’t notice her anxiety—not that she was particularly fearful in any way, or course. It just…had been a long time. She grew more restless the longer she waited for Jellal’s arrival. There wasn’t much she could do until then. She needed to wait first until the Pergrande delegate’s arrival was announced…

“Announcing, his royal highness, King Jura! Of the Kingdom of Caelum!” A squire announced at the top of the grand stairway leading from the entrance and down into the large gathering hall that would host a dance later tonight. Erza looked up to see the king of Caelum make his entrance, flanked by two of his royal knights. Erza recognized the knight Lyon from last year, but she had not yet met the woman with the dark pink hair…but they weren’t important right now. With Queen Kagura and Prince Simon having already arrived an hour earlier, they were now only waiting for King Faust and Prince Jellal. They weren’t late, but Erza still felt like it was a terrible slight by the universe to her personally that they just had to be the last. She paced the gathering hall and ate some of the cake being served as refreshments, passively watching the crowd cluster into groups and pairs to make conversation. Even though the event was called a banquet, that was only one part of the festivities. Most of the time was spent being social, or taking part in a dance. Or engaging in a few activities in the outdoors on the castle grounds—like a duel, for instance.

“Hi, Erza! How are you feeling?” Lucy approached her just as Erza felt as if she might just have to leave this place and do something if she had to wait a second longer. On that note, she appreciated the distraction.

“Perfectly well,” Erza lied to her scholar friend with the best relaxed smile she could pull off. “How are you? You look very nice.”

“Oh! Uh, thanks!” Lucy laughed, scratching the back of her hair which had been done up very neatly in a bun, complementing her formal dress. “I had some help. Me and Levy—”

“Wait!”

Erza instinctively shot out her hand in front of Lucy’s face as a way to stop her talking for the moment being. As she did so, Erza’s muscles tensed, as if she were open to go into battle and not, well…

“Announcing! His royal highness, King Faust of the Kingdom of Pergrande! With his greatness, Prince Jellal!”

Erza’s heart pounded in her chest, which was frozen in place. She hardly realized that she was stuck like that for so long until Lucy gently lowered her arm from her face. Erza looked back to her again and found an encouraging, sympathetic smile. “You go get him, Erza.”

Erza nodded with a deep inhale and walked away. She watched Jellal descend the staircase, bringing with him absolute clarity at last that it was him. Yes, it had been nine years—they both looked very different, but still, it wasn’t hard to tell.

Unfortunately, though, she couldn’t exactly “go get him” quite so quickly, though. Naturally, he was getting pulled in to talk to many people—she would have to wait just long enough to get him alone. Meanwhile, she watched. Watched his polite smile as he addressed Natsu and Makarov and Mirajane. Watched him be followed by guards at every turn. Watched his father a little, too—this was the first time she saw him in person, as well. He seemed…stiff. And old. Well, not that being old was the problem, of course! But, perhaps Erza’s imagination already gave her a poor opinion of him, with Jellal being so unwilling to talk about—no, no, she shouldn’t assume. She was certain that he must have been very worried for Jellal when he was gone. He must have done everything he could to rescue him, even if those efforts failed.

Erza kept watching, until the moment finally came. Jellal backed away from a conversation and moved to a table with refreshments, looking but not getting anything yet. The guards were still close, but, it was good enough. Erza moved quickly to the spot.

“Jellal!” she called, because, how else would she greet him? He lifted his gaze up from the table to her, and…

He froze. At first, he said nothing, just stared at her as if she had come back from the dead, slack-jawed and overwhelmed. “Erza?” he spoke in a quieter voice.

“Prince Jellal!” One of Jellal’s guards appeared closer to his side, appraising Erza with an almost-sneering expression. “And who is this?”

Erza narrowed her eyes at the tall and large blond whom she already was not a fan of in the slightest. “Erza, of the Royal Knights of Fiore, but that is not your concern. Jellal, can we talk alone for a moment?”

“Oh, alone?” The knight echoed with a laugh. “Why would he do that?”

“Sugarman,” Jellal spoke in a deadpan and a glare that told him to stand down.

Erza inhaled sharply, calming herself. “Jellal, could—”

“I don’t know you.”

Erza froze for a moment—far, far too long of a moment. Her heart went weak. “What—”

Jellal walked away. Swiftly. Erza’s thoughts ran. Should she…follow him? He told her to trust him, once. To follow along with his lead. He had done the same for her, too, when she was trusting her instincts, making that one fateful move of pure desperation—

Erza followed him. Her feet moved before her brain could catch up. “Jellal!” she shouted to him in the middle of the floor, amidst too many people who were now watching her in shock. But she wasn’t looking at them.

“Who is she?” Another of Jellal’s knights questioned with aggressive suspicion.

“Jellal, is that—” A gentler voice among the retinue was also silenced by a tense glare from Jellal. He then relaxed—maybe. He exhaled with eyes closed.

“I just traveled with her, once.” His gaze met hers, and it shook her with a harshness that just…that wasn’t him.

“I don’t have any need of speaking with her again.”

Jellal left, again—far away to the other end of the hall still too small to separate them fully. He left, and Erza stood. Just…stood, and stared at nothing. Felt nothing.

This time, she didn’t follow.

Chapter Text

"The secrets I keep are tearing me up inside
I try to hide them, and I wonder why
I wonder why I'm still running
When I know there's no escaping"

—FFH, "Undone"

“The 53^rd Scouting Squadron has reported increased activity on the southern segment of the border. They would like you to see to it personally, so I arranged for you to make a visit there after you’ve completed your inspection of the ironsmiths. Also, Hughes has taken charge of the engineering department. He has this new siege weapon concept he would like…Jellal? Jellal, are you listening!?”

Jellal jolted a little, startled into alertness by Ultear’s accusation. “Oh…yes, I was. I’m sorry.” He really was listening; he just…had a few other thoughts occupying his mind, as well. He didn’t realize that his distractedness was so noticeable.

Ultear’s look remained hard for just a couple of seconds more before she relaxed with a heavy exhale, her hand waving the matter away. “You’ve been like this all day,” she let him know. “But it’s fine. It’s only natural that you would be weary from the trip to Fiore, especially after that woman—no, never mind. Please, my lord, you should take a break. I can give you the rest of the update later this evening.”

“Are you sure? I could—”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Ultear assured, although her tone was tense as she did so. “You’re tired. I shouldn’t keep you. Please, just let me know if there is anything you need.”

“Oh…alright. Thank you.”

Jellal just stood there for a moment watching his chief advisor walk off, feeling guilty for being so out of it that she would feel the need to do so. Still, she did have a point—maybe he did need rest. The only problem was that resting sounded too much like thinking, so he wasn’t looking forward to it.

Now alone on the outdoor covered walkway outside the palace through which they had been semi-aimlessly traveling before, he began to walk away in the opposite direction from where Ultear had disappeared. With what Ultear was discussing with him out of his mind, his thoughts inevitably went to Fiore, instead. Which also reminded him…

He sped up his pace through the walkway to get to the end and look down at the ground two stories below. It was the construction site, where Hughes had been doing…something. Did Ultear tell him what he was doing? Maybe he really wasn’t listening as well as he thought he was.

Hughes, however, was not the person he was looking for. He looked around and spotted Coco at the edge of the site, doing work on her own, and he realized that this really would be a good chance to talk to her a little. He hadn’t encountered her alone since they got back from Fiore, mostly because Jellal himself was rarely alone. There was always someone he had to talk to, something which had to be done. There was simply no time to have a normal conversation—or to think, for that matter. Which wasn’t exactly what Jellal wanted to do…but, well, maybe he should.

“Prince Jellal! Is…something wrong?” Coco greeted him with a bit of apprehension, after Jellal ran up to her hurriedly at the edge of the construction site, where she was busy taking inventory.

“Oh…no.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry if this is a bad time.”

“Of course not, my lord.” Coco seemed curious now, looking up at him expectedly with her clipboard now inactive in her hand.

Self-consciously, Jellal glanced around to make certain that no one was watching, although he had no specific reason to. He wondered how to approach this—well, he might as well get to the point, and not waste her time. “I…wanted to apologize, for what happened the night of the banquet in Fiore.”

“Huh, what?” Coco’s eyes went wide, and she appeared very awkward as she shook her head rapidly. “No, you don’t have to apologize to me! Absolutely not!”

“No, but I was brusque with you.” His mind flashed back to the scene, particularly the part when he glared at Coco for attempting to talk to him, since she seemed about to bring up the truth to everyone. As it happened, the only one in that room who knew the truth about Erza, besides Jellal and Erza herself, was Coco. Jellal…didn’t tell things to many people. There wasn’t a single soul in Pergrande who knew the full story of what happened to him ten years ago, but there were a few who knew part of it. Coco was one of them, not for any special reason other than her sincerity, really. Her rank in the court was very low, but she still seemed like someone he could trust just because she wasn’t the type to use the information against him. She didn’t judge him for it, either, although he feared she would. It was for this reason why he couldn’t be open with this with someone like Ultear, even though she was the ultimate constant by his side, the one who handled everything and who knew all of Pergrande’s secrets and how to navigate them. But Ultear…she saw him as strong. She saw him as someone who could handle anything, just like she could. Unlike his father, Ultear saw the fact that he escaped slavery all those years ago as something admirable, as a sign of strength against the odds. It didn’t matter to her the fact that he didn’t do it alone. All she and most everyone else knew was that he was accompanied by someone from Fiore, because that’s what he told them back then. He couldn’t really tell them about Erza, or how they got out, or what happened to them leading up to that point. It wasn’t important, and it would only make himself look weak. Although it may be true, he had a responsibility to not burden anyone with that knowledge. Even if he did say something, they wouldn’t want to know.

Coco was the only one here who knew Erza’s name. However, he feared that he may soon be forced to give an explanation for her appearance to everyone else.

“I shouldn’t have…done it like that,” Jellal continued, realizing he wasn’t quite sure what to say, since he couldn’t figure out how his response should have gone. In all honesty, he was still angry. He wasn’t expecting to see Erza there, and he certainly wasn’t expecting her to call him out in front of everyone like she did. What was she thinking!? The whole Pergrande delegation was there; people from Minstrel and Caelum were there; her own superiors were there! Wasn’t she afraid of getting reprimanded for making a scene while on duty? Then again, was she working, that night? She was in her armor, but she wasn’t standing with the other knights. But, judging from her armor, she was a Royal Knight—she was someone of rank. So could she have just walked around freely without gaining permission? He knew that Fiore was terribly unorganized, but was that just the way things were done there?

Wait…was Erza unafraid to say something because her people knew about him already? Just like he talked to Coco, she might have confided the tale to those close to her. But surely that didn’t mean she confided to everyone, right? But considering her actions, that very well may be the case. Maybe she assumed that all of his people were aware of her identity, too, as crazy an idea as that may seem, especially considering that his father, King Faust, was also present.

Hold on, did King Natsu know about him!?

“It’s okay,” Coco responded with sympathy, relaxing a little. “I understand how that would have been very surprising.”

“I didn’t even know she was a knight,” Jellal admitted, the guilt creeping back into his chest, although it was hard to verbalize what the guilt was for. Everything, probably. “I…meant what I said, when I told you I hoped she was okay, and so, it’s good to know she’s okay, but…” Why a knight? Why did she have to be a knight? “…there was no way I could have just spoken to her like that. Not there.”

“Hmm yeah…” Coco nodded, solemn thought creased across her features. “I was shocked too. So, I’m sorry I almost revealed too much. I…I didn’t mean to, honest!”

“It’s fine,” Jellal assured. “You don’t have to apologize.”

“O-Okay.”

“But, is…is there something you want to say?” Jellal could tell something was on her mind, although she was hesitant to express it. “You can be honest with me, I promise.”

“W-Well…” Coco hesitated a moment longer, taking a few glances around herself as if to ensure no one was nearby. “It’s just, with that night, not to say your reaction wasn’t understandable, but well, you see, you were kind of…umm…rude,” she finally admitted, though she immediately seemed mortified by her own words. “I’m sorry for my impertinence!” she blurted out. “It’s not my place to judge you, your highness, I…I know! But!” She shook her head to clear it. “After that incident, to be honest, I was mostly just…sad. You two just got to see each other again, but you acted like you hardly knew her. You completely cut her off. Why not at least try to see her in secret?”

Jellal paused a moment, shocked not by her opinion of his behavior, but by the suggestion that he should have tried something. “I…there’s no way I could do that,” he countered. “You know that. Meeting her wouldn’t have just been difficult—it would have been treason. She’s a Fioran knight. Maybe I could have done it if she was from Minstrel or Caelum, but…” But she served the brother of the Mad King. It was possible, if what Ultear and the others suspected was true, that she was still under the command of Zeref himself. Zeref wasn’t just the enemy of Pergrande—he was an enemy to all of humanity. Fiore as a whole couldn’t be trusted. Regardless of the polished front they put up for the banquet, he knew that the Fioran royal court was full of madmen and liars.

Unfortunately for them, Jellal couldn’t explain everything to Coco, though. Ultear’s intel was very much classified, although the rumors were certainly strong among the people in Pergrande. Many were suspicious of Fiore, even if they didn’t know all the details.

“I…understand.” Coco appeared dissatisfied with the answer, as if she had something more to say about that reasoning specifically, but whatever it was, she didn’t vocalize it. Her face just fell with a heavy exhale, looking distraught over the matter again. “It would be hard. And, I know I don’t really know what it’s like for you, either. But still…you could talk to her again, right? You’ll be back there again one day. You find her when there’s less people around, and just, explain?”

Jellal chewed over her words for a moment, hoping that could be true, but knowing it was still impossible. “It’s…too late.” He shook his head. “She probably hates me.” She would definitely hate him. Although there were many reasons why he could never truly be her friend ever again, that one could be the greatest. After what he did, she would absolutely despise him. She would know for certain that he was a liar, too. Back then, he never told her of his identity as a prince. It was something he knew he had to keep close to his chest, no matter how much he may trust someone. She wouldn’t have believed him even if he did say something, anyways. What kind of prince would get caught by common slavers? If he told her the truth, it would be too much.

But he was tempted. He was so very tempted, not just to tell her about himself, but to take her up on her offer, as impossible as it was. When they made it to Rosemary Village, she asked if he wanted to stay with her. She said that her adopted mom would definitely take him in, being surprisingly confident in the idea. It was enough confidence to make Jellal panic. He wondered if he gave too much away and made it far too obvious that he didn’t want to go home. But then, from her perspective, she might have assumed he didn’t have one at all, from his persistence in not wanting to talk about it. So Jellal instinctively feared what she knew, but also, he did think about it, if only briefly. He thought about the chance of starting new, of just leaving his old identity behind, but that just wasn’t possible. They would find him, he knew. And, he knew it would be wrong to leave his responsibilities behind, too—he should go back, for good this time. It was what he had to do.

“Well, you could apologize,” Coco offered in a small voice, as if still finding the courage to say what she thought difficult. Jellal felt a bit of guilt—he wasn’t easy to talk to. “I don’t think she’ll just hate you that easily, but even if she does, you can still apologize. She might be very hurt right now. And confused.”

“Yes,” Jellal agreed after a pause, feeling the weight sink into his chest. He didn’t know how Erza was now—it had been so long, he couldn’t pretend to truly know her anymore. But…loyalty was important to her, he knew. She would refuse to leave a friend’s side, just like she would refuse to give up in the face of anything, no matter how hopeless things got. She was sincere, and with those she trusted, she didn’t hide anything.

That was the kind of trust that Jellal betrayed. His mind still went numb with the finality of it—he knew Fiore was his enemy, but he didn’t care to think of the day he would inevitably make an enemy of Erza. He wanted to keep the memory intact even without ever talking about it, or even thinking about it in its entirety. But, it was because he knew her that he knew she would be his enemy regardless—her loyalty was with her king now, whichever of the Dragneel brothers that king may truly be, and that loyalty would be unbreakable and fierce. It was no wonder she was a Royal Knight—she led a slave rebellion (and saved his life) at the age of eleven, so he could only imagine what she was capable of now.

“Yes, she…would be upset, I think.” And one day, that will be a wrath he must be prepared to face.