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“Perhaps you’re just different. It’s not a sin, you know. Though you may have heard otherwise.”
Tam sure has. And he doesn’t like being different. In fact, he hates it. Hates, hates, hates the thoughts. Everywhere. All the time. Inside his head when they should be in the heads of the people thinking them.
But Data is a good kind of different. Data is the kind of different that doesn’t get him hospitalised for stress. Data is the kind of different that Tam has wanted to be all his life.
“You know what the best part is about reading minds?” he asks. Data, apparently still trying to process that being different isn’t a sin - of course it’s not, the damn stupid but endearing and kind and restful android - blinks in surprise. There! An emotion. And he definitely was worried when he found out that Tam couldn’t read his mind.
He wants to scream, shout at the crew of the Enterprise that their android has emotions and that they’re idiots for not noticing and that they should start to at least try to understand. Deanna’s thinking the same thing, somewhere, if not on a conscious level.
“I do not,” Data’s voice cuts through his, through his thoughts, and no one else’s. He still notices the thoughts, they’re there right enough, but they’re not as painful and overwhelming and awful now that the only person near him has emotions he can’t read, and being able to talk to someone without all that is the most blissful thing he’s ever felt.
“It’s the love, Data. Everyone loves in a different way. And I’m not talking species, I’m talking people. Have any of your crewmates ever told you that they love you?”
Data shakes his head. Something like sadness seems to be passing through him, and Tam very suddenly remembers Picard thinking of Data’s last moments with his daughter. The Enterprise crew are idiots. Data thinks he’s unworthy of their love because he can’t return it, he’s sure of it. He tries desperately to communicate to Deanna that she has to tell Data she loves him, but he doesn’t think it’s getting through with all the background noise. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
“They do!” Data startles at the sudden words. He continues.
“They do, Data, so much. Take the Captain - he loves very reluctantly. Even more so with you, but he does love you! He loves your paintings, he loves that you love Sherlock Holmes, he loves everything that makes up you like you’re his own son! La Forge doesn’t even notice that he loves you. It’s all so natural to him - love, friendship, belonging. He’s never known different. He loves you like he does anyone else but different, more. You’re his best friend! Riker loves your humanity, Worf thinks you’re the most honourable person he knows and if that’s not love, I don’t know what is. The doctor loves your kindness and her son, Wesley?”
Data nods, listening attentively. Tam can’t help a smile. “Wesley loves the way you’ll always help him out, the way you’ve helped him and been like family when his mother was away, and Deanna- God, Deanna, she loves having to get to know you, like I do. She loves talking and not knowing what’s going to come next. She loves not feeling your emotions are her responsibility.
But most of all, Data, they love you - they love your qualities and they love what you do, what you’re willing to do for them but they love you so much and it is a pleasure to feel that, even when they don’t come close to liking me. Except for Deanna, that is. They’re good people, Data, and they love you. What’s more, they’re your family. It’s not just Picard - Riker thinks of you as a younger brother, did you know that? He’s thinking right now that I’d better not do anything to hurt you. This is your family. And yeah, you’re different, but it’s not a sin, and it doesn’t mean that you can’t feel. These people love you for it.”
Data looks overwhelmed, his head twitching in a way Tam hasn’t seen before. He worries for a second, pushes the worry down, then worries again, then pushes it down. Data is having a hard time processing his rant, is all.
“Inquiry,” his voice is soft and his brows are creased and Data is confused but he loves.
“What is your definition of love?”
Tam slumps down on Data’s desk, exhausted but relieved from explaining emotions he’s been feeling all the time he’s been here.
“No one answer to that, but something they’ve all got in common is that when you love, you want someone to be alright. You admire them. You miss them when they’re gone. They’re an important part of your life. And before you ask, Data, you love them.”
He wants so badly to elaborate, to tell Data exactly why he thinks the android loves his crewmates as intensely as they love him, if only to be able to be told if he’s right for once, but this seems like something Data should figure out for himself.
“Perhaps…you are right. Perhaps there is more than mechanisms and algorithmic responses.”
Tam could jump with delight. Data loves, Data loves, Data loves, he chants in his head. Data loves. And he’s helped him see it. He’s done something good after all. He’s not just an unstable man who shouldn’t be allowed on the ship, like some people think, he’s helpful.
“I think I’d better be going,” he says, smiling like he hasn’t in quite a while. Data nods, and it feels as though something has formed between them that Tam can’t quite name. Friendship, maybe. His heart warms at the thought.
If only Tin Man could experience the same.
-
When Deanna hugs Data from behind, he tenses in surprise, then relaxes. They gaze at the stars together. At some point, Data starts pointing out constellations.
“Data?” Deanna says softly.
He turns to face her, but she makes a point of keeping her hands on Data’s shoulders. “I do,” she says. “I do love you.”
She received Tam’s message. Half-Betazoid she may be, she can still communicate telepathically - especially with someone with more than enough telepathic capabilities to make up for the lack on her end. Tell Data you love him, he said, and she got flashes of conversation along with it.
Data remains silent, she notices. She has a feeling Tam would know exactly what to think. It makes her a little sad to think someone who knew Data for mere days really, truly knows him, and she doesn’t. He was right. They all have to do better in understanding Data. She’ll pass Tam’s message along. That thought is a promise to not only Tam, but to Data and herself and the rest of his friends.
“I believe I love you as well, Counselor,” Data finally responds. “I am…happy to have you as part of my family, so to speak.”
“Oh, Data.” Silently, she envelops him in a hug. When he reciprocates it, it’s with the stiffness of someone to whom hugs are only something to be experienced through books and observations and maybe imagination, she wouldn’t know. They should change that.
Data spoke of grief transmuted to joy. Loneliness transmuted to belonging. Well, here’s a case of friendship transmuted to understanding, family and more.