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Published:
2022-06-02
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2,233
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1/1
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What’s a Little Homewrecking Between Friends

Summary:

“You’ll tell Ultra Magnus I got mad that you want to frag my husband?”

Brainstorm paused. “I mean. When you say it like that.”

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“—and you know what was inside?” Rewind leaned forward. “Two hundred hours of commercials. By Swindle.”

“Tell me you didn’t watch them all,” Brainstorm said.

“He did,” Chromedome said, sounding haunted.

“I did,” Rewind said, sounding incredibly smug.

“He would play them in his sleep,” Chromedome said. “For the next fifty years I had to lay next to Swindle trying to sell me ‘the latest in Decepticon technology!’ every night.”

“What did you do with them after you watched it all?”

“I was going to give them to Ultra Magnus, since a lot of it was clearly targeted for alien audiences, but, well—by the end I was so impressed by Swindle’s cinematography skills that I…didn’t. Let me tell you, that mech knows his way around a camera angle. By the end I was just about ready to buy his products myself. So Domey told me he’d get rid of it all for me, and they were gone the next day. Come to think of it, Domey,” Rewind said, turning to Chromedome, “You never did tell me—how did you do it?”

“Oh, I asked Brainstorm to give me a ride into space and dumped the crates on a random asteroid,” Chromedome said.

“That’s what was in those?” Brainstorm exclaimed. He threw his hands up in the air. “I thought you had killed someone and we were hiding the body!”

Rewind stared at him. “And you did it anyway?”

“Eh, what are friends for,” Brainstorm said, waving him off. “Scrap, I forgot to think of more questions. Do either of you have one?”

“Ooh, I do, I do!” Rewind spread his hands wide, nearly spilling his drink. “Brainstorm, what’s…your most embarrassing kink?”

Brainstorm burst out laughing.

“Ha! Oh man, Rewind, you have no idea what you just asked.” Brainstorm beckoned them closer. “It’s—heh, you’re never gonna believe this—it’s cheating.”

“Oh my god,” said Chromedome.

“Oh my god,” said Rewind.

Brainstorm held up his hands. “Hey, you were the one who practically made a hobby out of accusing me of making Chromedome cheat on you, Rewind. I remember when it started, too, it was—we had just had one of our big fights about it, the kind where you would march up to me in public and just start going at me, and then I would snark back with some witty retort and—I mean I don’t remember most of it, it was basically white noise, but at one point you said you were constantly worrying that one day you’d go back to your habsuite and find me bending Chromedome over your own bed, and, well, what can I say? I’m…I’m trying to find a word that’s a bit more flattering than petty.” 

“It’s petty,” Rewind said faintly.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure—I’m pretty sure it’s just petty,” Chromedome echoed. “Oh my god.”

Brainstorm pointed at Rewind. “But you can’t get mad at me, because you were the one who asked, okay? It’s not allowed. I’ll tell Ultra Magnus on you.”

“You’ll tell Ultra Magnus I got mad that you want to frag my husband?”

Brainstorm paused. “I mean. When you say it like that.”

“I’m pretty sure everyone knew that already,” Chromedome mumbled into his cup.

“You’re lucky I’m drunk right now, or I would be mad,” Rewind said.

Chromedome snorted. “You’re barely tipsy. You get more angry when you’re drunk, love, not less. You’re the angriest little drunk I’ve ever seen.”

Brainstorm laughed, and Rewind gave him a look.

“You’re awfully relaxed for someone who just admitted he wanted to frag my husband,” he said.

Brainstorm shrugged. “Hey, it’s not like Chromedome’s wrong. Everyone already thought I did anyway, and besides, it was mostly because I knew it would make you mad. It was a spite fantasy, I’ve got loads of those.”

“No, wait, he’s got a point,” Chromedome said. “You are too relaxed. If you’re not actually embarrassed it doesn’t count.”

“I’m never embarrassed about anything,” Brainstorm said blithely.

“Oh, I know that’s a lie,” Rewind said. “Come on, Stormy, rules of the game. You gotta answer accurately.”

“I did answer accurately! You said kink, not fantasy,” Brainstorm said. “I never said that was my most embarrassing fantasy, just how I got the kink the fantasy’s about. Check and mate, I don’t need to tell you anything.” He toasted them with a smirk.

“Fair enough, fair enough,” Chromedome said. “You’ve got us there.”

“I know I do,” Brainstorm said, smugly.

“Guess we’ll have to move on, Rewind,” Chromedome said, shaking his head dramatically. “Too bad. Oh, but hey, would you look at that, I’ve thought of a question already.” He turned to Brainstorm.

“Don’t you dare,” Brainstorm said.

Rewind stifled a giggle.

“Brainstorm,” Chromedome started.

“Don’t you dare.”

“Brainstorm,” Chromedome said loudly, glee written all over his face, “I’ve got a good one for you. What’s your most embarrassing fantasy?”

Rewind laughed so hard he almost fell over.

“You bastard,” Brainstorm said.

“Primus, I love you,” Rewind said.

“I hate you so much,” Brainstorm said. “God. You’re not clever, you know. I don’t have to answer. It’s not like there’s a penalty for skipping questions. I’m not going to answer for the sake of my pride.”

“Sure, Storms,” Chromedome said. “You can skip if you want to.” He tilted his head to the side in that way of his that meant I’d totally be smirking right now if I had a mouth. “So?”

“Okay, fine, I’ll tell you, but I want to preface this by saying this is entirely Rewind’s fault, okay, Rewind? It’s entirely, one hundred percent your fault. You are completely and totally to blame for this.” He drained what was left of his cup. “So, it’s, ah. Well, it was—like I said, at the beginning it was mostly pettiness, right? Just Haha, Rewind would be so mad if he knew I was getting off on this. But then after a while, well—you have a nice voice, is the thing. It’s a fact! It’s a scientific fact. You have a nice voice. Objectively. And since I was thinking about stuff you said, I was hearing it in your voice, so eventually it, ah, turned into…something…a little more, uh, about you.”

“About Rewind?”  

Rewind blinked. “What do you mean?”

“This room is such a boring shade, you know,” Brainstorm said. “You should repaint it. It bugs me every time I’m here.”

“Stormy,” Rewind said again. “What do you mean?”

Brainstorm fidgeted. “I mean, like. Hm. Well, to put it bluntly, I would—think about—stuff—where you were, ah, more of a—more of a participant.”

Rewind didn’t move. “More of a participant how?”

“Well,” Brainstorm said. “Um.”

He looked at Chromedome for help. Chromedome jolted at the attention, then synthesized a cough.

“Go on,” he said. “We want—Rewind wants to hear it. It’s fine.”

“…we’d be here, in your room. You and I. Your camera is on.”

“I know,” Rewind said. “Keep going. Just us?”

Brainstorm rapped at the rim of his glass. “Yeah. Just us. Chromedome wouldn’t—he wouldn’t be there. It would just be us. It would start off pretty tame. You’d be making a fuss like you always did, and I’d be ignoring you like I always did, but then you’d—you’d call me a pathetic excuse for a best friend,” Brainstorm said, in a rush. He was leaning forward, now, hands gripping his glass tight.

“You’d say I was no good for him, and unfaithful. You’d say you’d seen me looking at you, and I would laugh, but then you would come closer, and closer, and I wouldn’t back away at first because I wouldn’t want to give you the satisfaction, so you would come even closer, close enough to touch me. And then I would back away, but it would be too late, and—I should not be saying this. Ignore me. I’m lying, and a Decepticon for real, and I’m going to go murder everyone on the ship.”

He got up to leave.

“Sit back down, Stormy,” Rewind said.

“Make me,” Brainstorm said, reflexively.

“I said sit down.”

Brainstorm sat down. He glanced at Chromedome again. “Are you—are you sure?”

Chromedome nodded. He didn’t say a word.

“Right. Okay. So, uh.” Brainstorm cleared his vocalizer. “You’d crowd me against the bed, and I’d say something snarky, but it wouldn’t deter you. You’d put your hands on my cockpit to feel my engine and I’d be rumbling, just—not any more than normal, I always run loud, I’m a jet, but you’d say See, I knew it, listen to that, ready to bend over for me already. And I’d try to laugh it off again and move away, but you would grab me by the hips and spin me around, stronger than I thought you were, and then you would push me down and then you’d—you’d push me down and then you’d start fragging me, hard, so hard I couldn’t think, and the whole time you’d be saying how could I, fragging my best friend’s conjunx behind his back? Just, the whole time, calling me underhanded and a bad influence and a terrible friend, and then Chromedome would come in and I would look at him and my mask would be off, he would be able to see every part of me, and you wouldn’t stop, you wouldn’t even bother to turn your head his way, you’d just say look what he’s making me do, Domey, isn’t he disgusting, I knew he couldn’t be trusted. And then sometimes you’d pull out and display me for him and—and that’s usually when I’d, uh. Be done.” 

Chromedome’s fans kicked on.

“Stormy,” Rewind said. “Stormy. That’s—Domey, can I—?”

“Yes,” Chromedome rasped.

Rewind clambered over to Brainstorm without even fully standing up. He reached out to put a hand on Brainstorm’s face.

“You—is your FIM on? Turn your FIM on. Please. You too, Domey.”

“Okay,” said Brainstorm, for lack of anything else better to say. He turned on his fuel intake moderator.

Rewind’s visor brightened, and he cupped Brainstorm’s cheek with one small hand. “So mean,” he murmured, softly. “All those things you said I’d say…you think I’d be that mean to you, Stormy?”

“Yes,” Brainstorm choked out.

“What about nice? Am I ever nice to you?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think about me being nice?”

Brainstorm couldn’t look away. “Sometimes.”

Rewind ran his hand down Brainstorm’s chest plate. He leaned in close. “Do you want me to be nice to you right now?”

“No,” Brainstorm breathed.

-

“Rewind— Rewind — ”

“Look at you,” Rewind panted. “You really are into this. Into Domey watching me wreck you. You always acted like I was— ah —so irrational, but you’re just as possessive of him as I am, aren’t you? Hah, I knew it, I knew you wanted him. I didn’t expect this, though. Even I didn’t think you were this—wanton.”

Brainstorm just moaned, and dropped his head to rest his forehead on the ground. Rewind stretched forward to grab him by the back of his head and pulled it back up, so he was properly facing Chromedome again.

“Come on, Stormy, none of that,” he said. “Don’t you want Domey to see your face as you beg me for more? Unless you want him to ignore you—is that it, Stormy? You want him to focus on me, instead, like you’re just a toy I’m using?” He gave a particularly hard thrust and Brainstorm shuddered and clenched around his spike. “I thought you’d want to be the center of attention, but if you’re too shy you can hide.”

“Don’t—don’t tease him, Rewind,” Chromedome said, hoarsely.

“Aw, but he likes it, Domey!” Rewind patted Brainstorm’s hip. “Isn’t that right? You like me being mean, don’t you?”

Brainstorm squirmed. “I—ah!” 

Rewind gently rubbed at Brainstorm’s valve, right where it was spread around Rewind’s spike. Brainstorm curled his fingers against the floor at the feeling.

Chromedome’s visor flashed. He sat up a little, and leaned closer. “I’ve never seen you like this before,” he said, softly. “You really do like it, huh?”

“C-CD—oh…”

“He can’t even speak,” Rewind marvelled. “I’d have thought he would be a chatterbox in bed, but—oh, do you want to be touched? Hm? Am I not enough for you?”

Brainstorm whimpered as he strained towards Chromedome.

“He wants you to touch him, Domey,” Rewind said. “But I don’t know…that’s not how it went in his fantasy. In his fantasy you just watched. What do you think, Domey? Should we let him get what he wants?”

Chromedome crept forward.

“CD, CD, CD,” Brainstorm panted.

Chromedome overloaded with a quiet, gasping shudder.

Rewind leaned forward to whisper into Brainstorm’s audial. “Look at that, Stormy,” he said. “He came without even getting his hands on you. Just from hearing you call his name.”

Brainstorm overloaded so hard his optics shorted out.

-

“Oh, hey, I thought of a question,” Brainstorm said, as he stared up at the ceiling, waiting for his eyes to fully come back online.

“Oh my god, Stormy,” Rewind said. 

“If you had to have one song stuck in your head for the rest of your life—”

Rewind put his hands over his face. “I can’t believe you.”

“Okay, but would you pick?”

“Anything,” said Chromedome, “But The Swindle Jingle.”

Notes:

I’m not always the best at replying to comments, so please don't feel obligated, but also if you do leave a comment know that it means the world to me even if I never reply. You can find me on tumblr from my main, @quadrilioquy, or my writing sideblog, @equivocaleternity. Thanks for reading!