Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Most did not call the Grand Master of the Jedi Order sentimental. He was kind, and he was a paragon of Jedi empathy, but he was not sentimental. He was hundreds of years old, and in those years, he had learned and mastered the art of serenity. He cared for his fellow Jedi, he cared for the innocents of the galaxy, he cared for his enemies, and he cared for his apprentices. But that care never fell into attachment.

Of course not, Master Yoda was above that.  

If before this, you had asked Obi-Wan who the greatest Jedi was, the Jedi who held most strongly to the tenets and beliefs of their Order, he would have stalled on a true answer. He would have listed a few names, each teaching something important and valuable about being a Jedi, but in his heart of hearts, he would have only had one true answer.

To Obi-Wan Kenobi, the pinnacle of a Jedi was Master Yoda. 

Or it had been.

Obi-Wan wasn't sure how someone could come back from being seen as near-perfect after displaying what had to be the most blatant sort of attachment in the last century, at least.

It was a bit of an open secret that most Jedi had a slight, very small, almost minuscule, really, amount of attachment to their lineages. 

It was barely anything. Really.

It was just that most species in the Order were the sort to pack bond, so they tended to pack bond to the people with whom they spent decades either learning from or teaching.

That's why Knighthood and Mastery were so closely tied.

To be a Knight was to grow up and give up your Master.

And to be a Master was about learning to let go of your Padawan.

The two were so intrinsically linked because you could not be one without the other.

All this to say that Master Yoda, originator of most of the Jedi lineages, had quite a bit of practice at letting go of his Padawans.

Except apparently not?

Because, in what could have only been a fit of old age, Master Yoda decided that he'd actually push his reputation into the mud to drown rather than let his former Padawan, a fully grown Master at this point, go.

He threw such a stink at the mere prospect of Master Dooku leaving the Order that the council compromised almost immediately.

What else were they supposed to do?

Say no?

To Master Yoda?

So now Obi-Wan gets to the heart of the matter, the problem maker whom he once had nothing but respect for.

Fuck Master Yoda.

Because what do you mean?! What do you mean that after all those years spent cleaning up after Qui-Gon and his various plants and pests, after finally being knighted and then immediately taking on a Padawan when Obi-Wan thought that his Master was dying, that he was once more stuck in the same living quarters as the man?!

How was this fair?!

Obi-Wan still had deep respect for his former Master, but in those three months when his Master was stuck in a coma where his life and death were uncertain and Obi-Wan's only focus could be on the boy that couldn't read or write in basic, couldn't swim, couldn't cross the street, and a hundred other little things in between, Obi-Wan gained just the slightest, smallest amounts of resentment for his Master.

Obi-Wan hadn't wanted to be a Master, he hadn't wanted a Padawan.

If you had asked any of his crechemates who the least likely to take on a Padawan was, they would have answered Quinlan first, but they would have named Obi-Wan right after.

But now he had a Padawan.

A nine-year-old Padawan who refused to take baths, change clothes, or get his immunization shots.

A nine-year-old Padawan who had never seen the rain, or sat on grass, or smelled flowers, or been free before now.

There was a saying that having a child was like taking your heart and separating it from your body.

Obi-Wan did not have a child.

He barely had a Padawan.

But for some Force forsaken reason, every scrape or bruise or frown made Obi-Wan's stupid fucking stomach clench.

Quinlan, who had also gotten a Padawan, because apparently the two of them delighted in being contradictory, just nodded in tired agreement when Obi-Wan had complained.

Apparently, just that day before Obi-Wan had called, Aayla had somehow gotten into the laundry shoot and stayed missing for five hours.

Then Anakin decided to give Obi-Wan something to really complain about and climbed the fucking Temple to the highest peak.

Yeah, Obi-Wan's heart was out of his body, and it was making trouble for the rest of Obi-Wan.

The point is, Obi-Wan had a bit more on his plate than the fucks to give about Master Dooku's imminent leaving of the Order, which had been obvious to anyone with half a brain and the ability to pay attention.

Which, of course, meant this entire situation was Obi-Wan's problem now.

Because what was the solution Master Yoda proposed to the council? What was the decision that had been made and thus now enforced within the entire Jedi Order with a suitably subtle amount of glee?

"Live together, all lineages will," Master Yoda announced to the cafeteria on a random Primeday while Obi-Wan was desperately trying, and failing, to get Anakin to eat a vegetable.

Obi-Wan almost hadn't properly heard, too busy trying to get the stupid fucking carrot into Anakin's stubbornly closed mouth.

Then the cafeteria erupted into noise, and the words rearranged themselves in Obi-Wan's head, and he understood.

He understood and dropped the carrot in shock.

Anakin cheered.

The whole fucking cafeteria cheered.

Obi-Wan watched blankly.

He watched as Masters and Padawans and Padawan siblings and lineage uncles and aunts all clumped together to happily hug and hold one another.

Anakin blinked in confusion, tilting his head and looking at Obi-Wan with a wordless question.

Obi-Wan got up and picked Anakin up.

He walked out of the cafeteria, clutching Anakin like he was a stuffed animal, and Obi-Wan was still a child.

He breathed in Anakin's hair and wondered if this was hell.

Qui-Gon was one thing, the man was a menace to live with, and he'd been making some uncomfortable comments about Obi-Wan's capabilities as a teacher, but Qui-Gon was the least of Obi-Wan's problems.

Their lineage wasn't like other people's lineages.

There was something wrong with every single person in his damned lineage, a sickness that spread throughout them all.

"Hello, little brother," Xanatos had said to Obi-Wan the first time they met. Xanatos had looked down at Obi-Wan's dirty robes and filthy hands, his face twisting slightly before smoothing back over.

Obi-Wan, who had spent the last month in slavery with a Force suppression collar set to explode, had gotten rather perceptive about people's true emotions.

And while the Force was tranquil, Xanato's body language all but screamed that he despised Obi-Wan. 

Obi-Wan kept his face carefully blank as he bowed to his new lineage brother. That brief interaction had lasted only a few moments, it shouldn't have been enough to color Obi-Wan's entire perception of Xanatos, but it had stuck with Obi-Wan.

Then two weeks later, Qui-Gon left the two of them alone to go deal with an emergency, thanking Xanatos for watching Obi-Wan before rushing off.

The two of them, almost by silent agreement, waited until Qui-Gon was gone from the apartment and on the staircase, before turning to each other.

Xanatos gave him a look again, huffing at whatever he saw.

"So you're the slave runt that my Master has decided to pick up from the side of the road," Xanatos mocked. Obi-Wan almost smiled in relief. 

"I knew you were a bad person," Obi-Wan told him. Xanatos faltered at that.

"Excuse me?"

"You're a bully. You're trying to bully me for some reason. You should take Bruck Chun as your Padawan, the two of you have a lot in common," Obi-Wan said conversationally. Then, faster than Obi-Wan could see, Xanatos drew back his hand and punched Obi-Wan in the gut.

Obi-Wan gasped out, the air leaving his lungs, and his body hunched in slightly as he looked up at Xanatos with confusion and anger.

"I don't appreciate disrespect, little brother. In fact, I loathe it. I looked into you, you know? You've got more marks on your records than you've got sense in that dumb little head of yours." Xanatos reached out and petted Obi-Wan's head, his hand rough and uncaring. Then he grabbed Obi-Wan's hair and drew him closer, leaning down slightly to speak softly into Obi-Wan's ear.

"You're nothing Obi-Wan Kenobi."

Xanatos left the apartment that day knowing that Obi-Wan would say nothing.

Not because he was afraid, not because Xanatos had some hold on him, but because Obi-Wan knew that even if he spoke up, Qui-Gon would not believe him.

Chapter Text

Obi-Wan got back to their rooms in a daze, still clutching Anakin. As soon as the door closed, Obi-Wan fell to the floor, carefully cradling Anakin against him.

Anakin made a faint sound of confusion as Obi-Wan curled around him.

His breathing got faster, and his hands started shaking, but Obi-Wan tried his best to hide it, instead gently stroking Anakin's hair and rocking the two of them.

Anakin started whispering to him in Huttese, voice trying to be soothing, but Obi-Wan felt nothing but disdain for himself.

Here he was, depending on a fucking child to comfort him.

Obi-Wan forced his panic down, flinging it out into the Force, hoping it wouldn't boomerang back at him and knock him on his ass.

"Anakin, I'm sorry for that display," Obi-Wan said once he could speak again.

Anakin rolled his eyes, reaching forward to hug Obi-Wan.

His head fit right under Obi-Wan's chin.

"Mom does that too sometimes. She gets small and quiet," Anakin said, voice muffled against Obi-Wan's neck.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, feeling even more disdain for himself.

Perfect, he was acting like Anakin's mother.

Great.

Fucking shit, Obi-Wan was a Jedi, he was a fucking Knight.

He didn't have the same problems that a slave woman in Tatooine had. 

Her panicking was justified, it made sense with the context. Obi-Wan was just panicking because his stupid body was still out of wack or something.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath.

"I have some good news, Anakin," Obi-Wan said instead of trying to address... any of that.

"It doesn't look like it's good news if you're reacting like this," Anakin said dubiously.

Sweet boy.

Dear boy.

Please drop that line of questioning before Obi-Wan gave into the voices and started screaming.

"We're going to live with Master Jinn!" Obi-Wan said with fake excitement. He even waved the hand that wasn't currently stoking Anakin's hair around in a shaking motion.

Anakin squinted at him.

"Isn't Master Jinn still in the Halls of Healing?" Anakin asked doubtfully.

"When he's out of the Halls of Healing," Obi-Wan said. Anakin hummed.

"Is he hard to live with? Like he leaves his socks out or something?" Anakin asked.

"No, well, yes, but that's not what I was... panicking about," Obi-Wan hesitated. He almost didn't want to say anything, almost wanted to just leave Anakin completely ignorant, in hopes that this whole generational drama would just skip over him.

But then he thought back to that meeting with Xanatos, imagined Anakin in that situation instead, and knew that he needed Anakin to know that he would believe him, that he would always believe him.

"Dear one, we're going to live with a few other people. Jedi don't have families the traditional way, we consider all Jedi to be our siblings. But outsiders would consider lineages to be the closest thing we have. I lineage is a Master and their Padawan. For example, you are a part of my lineage because I am your Master. Master Qui-Gon is your Grandmaster, Master Dooku is your great Grandmaster, and Master Yoda is your great great Grandmaster," Obi-Wan explained. Anakin nodded slowly.

"But I am not the only Padawan that Master Qui-Gon took on. I have two Padawan brothers. They are also a part of our lineage. And Master Dooku has also trained multiple apprentices, so they are a part of our lineage too. And any apprentices that those apprentices have are also part of our lineage," Obi-Wan continued. Anakin's eyes widened.

"Whoa, our lineage must be huge then," Anakin said. Obi-Wan smiled at him.

"We're actually on the smaller side," Obi-Wan lied. Technically, their lineage was made up of hundreds if you count everyone who had ever had Yoda as the starting point of their lineage, but most didn't to make it easier. At the moment, the only apprentice that Yoda had personally taught who was still alive was Master Dooku. Thus, their lineage was seen as the legacy of Yoda because Yoda had vowed to teach no other after Master Dooku due to his old age.

“The head of our lineage is Yoda, he's had many Padawans, but only one still lives. That Padawan is Master Dooku. He taught three students, Rael Averross, Qui-Gon Jinn, and Kamari Vosa. Rael Averross was Grandmaster Dooku’s first apprentice, and he only had one padawan, Nim Pianna. After Master Averross, Master Dooku taught Master Qui-Gon. Master Qui-Gon taught three Padawans. Knight Feemor was his first, Knight Xanatos was his second, and I, your beloved Master, was his third," Obi-Wan jested lightly. Anakin giggled, and Obi-Wan felt a sort of tension he hadn't even known he had lift at the sound.

“Feemor has no apprentice currently, but Xanatos does. His padawan is named Bruck Chun, and he was a former crechemate of mine. After Master Qui-Gon, Master Dooku taught Knight Kamari Vosa. Knight Vosa has a padawan who's only a few years older than you, named Asajj Ventress," Obi-Wan finished off. Asajj was a relatively recent addition to their lineage. She was a Feemor situation.

Knight Vosa stepping up to finish her training after her master died was honestly more surprising than anything else.

She wasn't exactly the sort of person most would expect to do something like that.

Anakin quieted.

It took a while for Obi-Wan to notice that it was because he'd fallen asleep.

Obi-Wan carefully picked him up, his heart for some reason clenching at the sound of his whines.

Must be annoyance or something.

Maybe indigestion.

Anakin's head rolled against Obi-Wan's shoulder, the weight of him so light in Obi-Wan's arms that he felt he could cry, and in that moment Obi-Wan felt such rage at the Order.

In the effort to save a Master who did not want or need saving, they'd sent his Padawan to the wolves.

Xanatos would eat Anakin alive.

They all would.