Chapter Text
Sunoo found out quite early in life that he hates the real world. It is filled with sights, sounds, feelings, and happenings that both do not interest him, and frankly, disturb him to no end. War, famine, showing any inch of whatever you were feeling to someone, the aftermath of it. Things that came naturally to just about everyone, and that everyone deemed as normal, are hard pills for Sunoo to swallow. Boring, dull, frightening, and dumb.
He prefers instead to experience the world secondhand. That is, tucked away into the furthest corner he can, buried deep inside a book. Books, pages, words, letters— these were things that many saw as perhaps lame or boring, maybe even borderline insane that Sunoo would rather read a book than spend time with friends (a wonder he even had one). But those books, those words, had a much more special and cozy place in Sunoo’s heart.
That is why the Hogwarts Library is his favorite place to spend his time at school. It was where he came to recharge and release, learn something new. He also just recently got access to the restricted section, being the top of his class and all, so he comes here almost every day and reads up on whatever they won't teach him.
When he got his Hogwarts Letter a few years ago, it was a shock to his muggle parents, understandably, but not to Sunoo. No, Sunoo figured there was something different about him. From the way he never quite seemed to fit in with his muggle peers, always preferring to spend time alone playing in the gardens or reading in the library. The way that if people did annoy him, he had unknowingly devised ways to avoid them, both with his own human hands, and with the help of magic of course.
Sunoo was ecstatic when he was accepted to the school. The muggle world was plain and boring. It seemed like he knew everything there was to know about it already, and he needed something new and stimulating, something magical. He thought that he’d finally experience a new adventure that would motivate him to participate in the real world.
Yet coming to Hogwarts, while it was absolutely much better than the muggle world, had almost the exact same qualities, just with a little more magic. He still preferred his books, and his favorite days at Hogwarts were spent carrying a heavy load of books in his small arms back up to the Ravenclaw dormitory, and staying up past 3 in the morning reading away, absorbing information like the deprived sponge he was.
“Are you joining us for dinner, Sunoo?” Jungwon, his one true friend, asks tiredly. They’ve been in the library for a few hours, having come straight after class, and Sunoo could tell Jungwon was already over it. “Please, I’m starving.”
Sunoo sighs, looking up from a book on ancient runes that he had already read before but decided to pick up again. “I’m not hungry, you can go ahead.”
“Again? Seriously, Sunoo, I feel like it’s been days since I’ve seen you. I mean, technically, it has been days since I’ve seen you. We haven’t talked the entire weekend.”
Sunoo looks at his friend, whose puppy eyes are on full display now. He can tell that Jungwon is trying to shoot daggers at him, but his face seems to be incapable of making that expression, choosing instead to bombard him with the most adorable set of boba eyes he’s ever seen. He was sure that were there ever a book written about Jungwon, his eyes would be described in grand detail.
“Fine,” he says, relenting. “Let me just finish this chapter, and I’ll meet you in the Great Hall.” Jungwon smiles, eyes crinkling cutely at the side, as he stands and leaves.
Sunoo lied. He wasn’t going to finish the chapter, he needed to finish the book. He had just gotten to the chapter on medieval runes before Jungwon so gracelessly interrupted his reading.
It wasn’t like he never saw his friend. They saw each other all the time! In class, in the halls, sometimes for breakfast and dinner. Though they weren’t in the same house, he could say that he and Jungwon were closer than he’s ever been with anyone, except maybe for his parents. He didn’t mind hanging out with Jungwon even a little. Jungwon was interesting, he had a lot to say about different things, and he was well-read, having come from a half muggle background and having educated himself on many types of literature. Sunoo loved that he could talk about his readings and books without being met with an uninterested stare.
Lately, however, it seemed that Jungwon was growing more and more distant from that side of him. Not that he was getting boring, but certainly not as dynamic and academic as he used to be. Sunoo doesn’t really care. Jungwon could be as distant or intimate as he wanted, and Sunoo had his books to keep him company if Jungwon wasn’t around.
But what annoyed Sunoo at times was that Jungwon decided to bring other people into his fall from academia. During their first year, it was just Sunoo and Jungwon, no one else. They’d go to class together, and when class ended, they’d have dinner together, and then go up to their rooms to sit and read in silence together. On weekends, they’d spend all day in the library together uninterrupted. That routine was fractured during their second year and utterly erased during their third year.
Now, in their fifth year, Sunoo rarely gets any time alone with Jungwon. All because Jungwon decided to go and make other friends. Sunoo isn’t angry, truly. Jungwon can have hundreds of friends if he so please, but he just wishes Jungwon didn’t have to drag him along for it.
He doesn’t hate Jungwon’s friends; they’re pretty nice for the most part, though he hasn’t really had an extensive conversation alone with any of them. He mainly only sees them for meals (a wonder how they all haven’t gotten in trouble for eating on the same table together, since they’re in different houses) and even during meal times his nose is stuffed in a book.
The problem is that Jungwon refuses to believe Sunoo has no interest in other people, other friends. Sunoo insists that he’s fine with only talking to Jungwon, that his energy is utterly wasted if he talks to more than one person throughout the day. But Jungwon does not let up, encouraging him to join him and his friends.
Sunoo realizes he’s distracted, reading the same page over and over and over, then slams the book shut and sets it aside. Today wasn’t a good concentration day by the looks of it. But he really, really didn’t have the energy or the desire to go sit with Jungwon and his friends, and listen to them talk about boring things like girls and quidditch. It’s exhausting to even think about.
He picks up the book from the table and moves to put it back on the shelf, when he spots another book on the floor, a fiction book.
One Hundred Years of Solitude.
Hogwarts didn’t have a very extensive muggle literature section. Sunoo had read almost every book they had on it, but he’s never seen this one. Sunoo picks it up, and as he does so, a small piece of paper flutters out prettily. He grabs it before it can hit the floor.
Turning it over, he sees that there are handwritten words inscribed on it in neat cursive. Curiously, he sits back down and reads the little note.
Feeling so utterly alone is suffocating. Time ticks, people come and go, but I remain myself, unbreakable. I wish I would just break already. Maybe then someone would pick me up and carry me away, somewhere, anywhere. Take me away from myself. If only I didn’t see myself as such an unbreakable fortress. Is it pride? I’m sure it is, I just don’t want to acknowledge it. But I’m worn. Pride is tiring.
Sunoo squints at the note, flipping it over and over.
“That’s it?” Sunoo whispers incredulously. What the hell was in this book that made someone have such an existential crisis over it?
He opens the book to see if the name of the person who last checked it out was written inside, but he finds it blank, there isn’t even a Hogwarts stamp on it. So this book was someone’s personal property, not belonging to the Hogwarts library. And apparently very personal personal property.
He debates taking it to the lost and found or handing it to a teacher, but the person would probably go crazy knowing it was in someone else’s hands. No one really comes into this section of the Hogwarts library though, which was probably why the person came here to read the book or write the note, or whatever.
But Sunoo wasn’t going to just leave it here. Poor person. Not that he cares, but he can’t just put the book back on the floor without comforting the person right?
Who was he kidding, Sunoo was the absolute worst at comforting people, if his depressing attempts at soothing Jungwon’s sobs were anything to go by. But Sunoo is nosy. Extremely nosy. Today isn’t a concentration day, but it isn’t all bad, Sunoo decides, as he rips out a page from one of his notebooks and reaches for his quill on the desk. At least this was interesting enough to hold his attention.
Dear You,
I apologize for being nosy, but I’ve read the little note attached to your book. Not to worry, I wouldn’t share it with a soul, I know how it feels for information about yourself to be released without permission.
Anyways, your feelings of solitude are understandable. I, for one, spend a majority of my time alone, even though I enjoy it. I can imagine how it must feel for other people, however. There are moments when I am extremely bored and want the companionship of another person, but no one particularly fits the companionship I’m interested in. There’s no poetry in friendship these days. No one enjoys art, academia.
I probably sound pretentious saying that, but judging by your choice in literature, I’m assuming you’re just as pretentious as I am. Thank you for your indirect book recommendation, your spiel on loneliness convinced me to read it.
From,
Random Person Who Found Your Book On The Floor
Sunoo tucks his note response into some of the back pages of the book and sets it back down on the floor. Whoever it belonged to would probably use some sort of location spell to see when they last had it, and if they did, it would lead them here, so it was best to leave it where Sunoo found it.
Hopefully whoever found it wouldn’t be too angry that he read his note. If Sunoo had written it, though he would never write something so emotional, he’d appreciate someone acknowledging his pain and relating to him the best they can.
_______________________
“Sunoo? Sunoooo? Earth to Sunoo!” He feels a balled up napkin hit him square in the head. Sunoo’s a bit distracted thinking about the events in the library, and is currently drafting a letter to his parents with a list of books he’d like them to send. Jungwon is still throwing napkins, causing him to look up.
“What?”
“We were talking about the Ball. Are you going or not?”
Sunoo sighs. “Probably not.”
If there’s one thing he hates the most in this world, it’s parties. Birthday parties, holiday parties, they’re just absolute torture. Sunoo doesn’t understand why someone would willingly spend hours in a place with ear-splitting music blasting everywhere, and being forced to socialize with multiple people at once. It just didn’t seem appealing at all.
He also has no idea why Hogwarts kept up the Yule Ball tradition after they got rid of the Triwizard Tournament. Why the hell would they get rid of the fun part, the adventurous, dangerous, magical tournament, and leave the excruciatingly boring part?
Plus balls were corny, and he hates corny things. So absolutely not. He will not be attending the ball.
But Jungwon and his friends are being utterly annoying about it, talking about who they’re going to ask as a date, their outfits, and everything of the sort. Jungwon’s especially excited, since he’s planning on asking out one of the Slytherins in the year above them, Jay.
Jay sat with them from time to time along with his friend Sunghoon, but they stopped when Sunghoon declared war on Sunoo for absolutely no good reason. They were both constantly at the top of the class, some terms it was Sunoo at number one, and some terms it was Sunghoon.
Apparently being at the top was of extreme significance to Sunghoon, but Sunoo couldn’t care less about it. School was less about grades and more about the actual learning experience for him, the grades came as an extra.
“Okay, but,” and here was Jungwon whining once more about asking Jay to the ball when it was his idea in the first place. “What if he says no? What if he already has a date?”
Heeseung, the eldest in Jungwon’s group of friends, sighs and puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Jay is literally in love with you. I’m pretty sure you’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, plus when would he even have time to find another date? He spends all his time with you,” Ni-ki pipes up, his mouth stuffed with pudding. “I thought Ravenclaws were supposed to be smart.”
Jungwon rolls his eyes. “That’s a stereotype, Ni-ki.”
“What’s going on?” Jake arrives late from quidditch practice, smelling like grass and stale air.
“Yule Ball,” Ni-ki supplies simply.
Jake smiles and sits next to Heeseung, near enough to lightly brush his shoulder but not completely touch him. Sunoo fights the urge to roll his eyes at their shyness. They’ve been dating for weeks and still act like kindergartners when it comes to dating. Not that Sunoo’s ever dated anyone. But he knows that if he ever had the desire to, he’d at least have the decency to hold his beloved’s hand when they were in public together. Or at least, say hi.
But they’re cute, he admits. Romance wasn’t his forte, but if they’re were a book written about Jake and Heeseung’s “dancing around each other for years until Jake got hit with a quaffle and spent days in the hospital, so Heeseung thought he was going to die and confessed to him,” well, he probably wouldn’t have a hard time making it poetic.
“Does everyone have dates yet?” Jake asks the three, since it’s obvious he’s going with Heeseung.
Ni-ki laughs. “Ew, no. I’m going alone. Dates are for losers.”
Sunoo, surprisingly, agrees with Ni-ki’s sentiment. Though he’s still not going to the ball anyways.
“Jungwon still hasn’t asked Jay, and Sunoo’s not going,” Heeseung says.
Jake pouts at Sunoo. “What? Why not? Come on, Sunoo, it’ll be fun!”
“Ah yes, because what could be more fun than a hoard of horny teenagers grinding on each other in front of all the professors for an entire night?” Sunoo replies, still looking down at his list of books that he wanted, figuring out what else he should add.
Jake yields. “Fine, fine, but we’ll be super sad if you don’t go…”
Sunoo looks up, eyebrows arching. He was about to say that he didn’t care how sad they became, that he still would not attend the ball, but shut up when he saw that Jungwon actually did look rather disappointed. He had gotten quieter, eyes a bit more distant.
It was now that Sunoo came to the realization that perhaps he wasn’t being a very good friend. They’d grown rather distant, he and Jungwon, and while Sunoo still blamed a large part of it on Jungwon’s extroverted tendencies, he relents that he hasn’t been much of a help either. He supposes he can do this one thing for him. It would be a bother for a night, yes, but all terrible things come to an end eventually.
“I’ll…think about it,” Sunoo says against his will.
The four cheer quietly, relishing in what they considered to be a victory, and Jungwon shoots him a small smile.
————————————-
The next day Sunoo finds himself in the library once more. He heads straight to the desk he sat in yesterday, and is surprised to find the book that was on the floor yesterday is still there. Now, however, it was on the desk.
It was likely that someone saw it on the floor and picked it up. But what was the book still doing here? He thought the person would have come back for it by now. Perhaps Sunoo miscalculated, and the book wasn’t actually that important. He feels slightly embarrassed for writing the note back now.
It was a spur of the moment, romanticized action that he’d fixated on yesterday, but now finding that it wasn’t that important to the person after all, he can’t help but feel cheated. So the person didn’t care. How rude.
He picks up the book angrily and looks in the back of the book for the note he had written yesterday. Yet he doesn’t find it. He also doesn’t find the original note. Instead, he finds another slip of paper, stained in ink fingerprints this time, like the person had accidentally spilled some on themselves and then wrote it.
Sunoo looks at it curiously for a moment as he sits down at the desk, then he opens the note. It had the same handwriting as the original one: neat, perfect handwriting.
Dear Random Person Who Found My Book On The Floor,
This is…strange to say the least. I didn’t really expect anyone to find what I had written, obviously, didn’t mean to drop my book. Thanks I guess? I’m not really sure how to go about addressing someone who read my very much personal ‘loneliness spiel’ as you termed it. It’s true, it’s not something about me that I’d like to be released.
But I have to say, I’m a bit intrigued. You said you know how it feels for information to be released without your permission. Since you know a little bit about me, it’s only fair I know a little about you.
Also, although I love my friends, I agree with you on your pretentiousness. There’s not much to life anyways, art is the most beautiful, most unstable thing about it. I mean, life’s already unstable, but it isn’t beautiful, so at least there’s art to make up for it. And yes, you should definitely read the book, it’s amazing.
So yeah, I would love to hear your secrets, since you know mine.
From,
Random Person Whose Book You Found On The Floor.
Sunoo smiles at the note— no, letter— oh goodness he finally has a letter from someone that wasn’t his parents or Jungwon. He excitedly digs around in his bag for a quill and paper. Sunoo has a pen pal. Who wrote back to him.
He shouldn’t get too ahead of himself, the person only wrote back once. It doesn't mean they’ll keep writing. Maybe they’re actually angry at Sunoo, and want information from him so they can find out who read their notes without permission. This was a trap, wasn’t it? No, it couldn’t be, the person sounded so sincere.
Sunoo tamps his excitement down slightly, a little on guard, but nevertheless begins writing back.
Dear,
Sunoo needed a name for the person, a new one.
Dear (please give me something to call you)
He isn’t feeling particularly creative today.
Dear (please give me something to call you)
I won’t lie, I'm suspicious of you. How do I know you aren’t angry at my intrusiveness? You could very well be blackmailing me for information.
However I’m having trouble guessing how you could blackmail me. I’ll have you know that I don’t particularly care what my peers think of me, so if you wanted to let the world know that I’m nosy…it wouldn’t be far off from the truth. Go ahead, be my guest.
So I’ll give you a little bit. I’m a boy in the fifth year. I won’t say my house, or that’ll be much too obvious. Let’s have a little fun, shall we? Let’s exchange letters back and forth until you figure out who I am.
Sunoo tries to quell his own building anticipation by clamping down on his lips, biting the skin there. He really hopes the person goes along with his idea. He’s been a little bored without having Jungwon to discuss his thoughts with, and having this pen pal could surely help ease a little bit of that tedium.
You don’t need to accept my proposal.
Please, please, accept the proposal.
But I wouldn’t mind divulging a bit more about myself if you do so as well. Let’s not tell anybody, either. The fun is in the mystery.
From,
Sunoo tries to think of a name for himself.
From,
Yellow
Nothing too serious or meaningful. Yellow is his favorite color, simple as that. He decides to add that in.
Yellow (my favorite color).
Sunoo walks out of the library feeling as if he’s accomplished something, and he even thinks that, if the person does respond, that he might have made a new friend. Of course, it was a very strange kind of a friendship, but a friend nonetheless.
He’s pulled out his reverie when he bumps into a large figure in the halls, and the papers in the folder he was carrying go flying dramatically through the air, landing on the floor with one messy motion. He stares as his papers drop, mourning the fact that he’d just organized his folder this morning, when he looks up to apologize to the person he’d bumped into.
“Oh,” he blurts out instead as he’s met with one furious looking Sunghoon.
“Ugh, it’s you,” Sunghoon groans, but still bends down to help Sunoo pick up his papers. “What are you doing in the halls this late at night? Students are supposed to be in their dorms.”
Sunoo fights the urge to roll his eyes. Sunghoon takes every opportunity to flaunt his prefect status in front of him, arguably the only advantage he has on Sunoo. He wasn’t about to tell Sunghoon that he was also chosen to be a prefect (he didn’t apply, Jungwon sent an application in his stead), but denied the chance since being prefect was the absolute last thing he wanted to do.
It’s a job filled with rules and regulations, and full of telling people what to do. Sunoo hates when people tell him what to do. Why would he want to do that?
“I was just reading,” Sunoo responds simply as he finishes gathering the last of his papers. Sunghoon stands and thrusts the papers in his hands, almost spilling them again as Sunoo begrudgingly grabs them.
Sunghoon arches an irritatingly, perfectly shaped eyebrow. “In the middle of the hall?”
“Yes, Sunghoon, I was reading in the middle of the hall. Context clues, Mr. Prefect. I came from the library, which I have a pass for,” Sunoo holds up the pass that he was carrying before Sunghoon so rudely bumped into him. “And now I’m heading back to my dorm before curfew after reading, in the library.”
Sunghoon scoffs. “Don’t use that tone with me. I can get you sent to detention.”
Sunoo eyes him with disgust. He honestly had no reason to dislike Sunghoon before the boy decided to be so annoying towards him. Before that, Sunoo quite frankly didn’t know he existed outside of the things people said about him. Like how every boy and girl fawned over his looks, and how he was the sweetest, most generous human being on the planet, and how smart and talented he was, being both top of their class (along with Sunoo) and captain of the quidditch team.
Sunoo had no reason to dislike him, despite the fact that if there were a book written about him, he’d be the perfect cliche of a perfect love interest.
But Sunoo hated that Sunghoon spoke to him like he was stupid, like he was a little child that needed scolding, and couldn’t think for himself. Yes, Sunoo was quite pretentious when it came down to it, but there was merit to his lust for academia, in that he was, in the simplest of terms, an intellectual.
Treating him in any way besides how he deserved to be treated infuriated him. Most regarded Sunoo with passing interest or admiration, either intimidated by him, or if they did approach him, Sunoo would inevitably get rid of them so he could remain alone unbothered.
But Sunghoon couldn’t leave well enough unbothered. He just had to cause a scene, and make Sunoo want to slap the living daylights out of him.
But another thing that Sunoo prided himself on was his ability to remain calm, unemotional. He was not to let something as silly as feelings take the upper hand. It was something that challenged him when Sunghoon, in all his aggravating glory, interacted with him.
So Sunoo bites his tongue and gives Sunghoon a smile. “What tone, Mr. Prefect? I’m being perfectly civil, honestly.”
“Stop calling me that.”
“Stop calling you what?”
“‘Mr. Prefect’ it’s so annoying.”
“Well isn’t that what you are?”
Sunghoon huffs exasperatedly and Sunoo revels in the fact that he’s rendered perfect little Prefect Sunghoon speechless with frustration. He wasn’t going to get emotional, but he sure as hell would make sure Sunghoon would. Not that he cared, but still, it was fun.
“You’re so annoying. And short.”
Sunoo raises an eyebrow. “Ouch, that was low. Quite literally. An insult even a first year could come with. Aren’t you supposed to be top of the class? Oh… right, that’s me.”
And again, he doesn’t care about the stupid feud that Sunghoon started, but his smile deepens when Sunghoon’s face turns infinitely red, scarlet blooming even up to his ears.
“Oh, shut up–”
“I mean, who’s the one who got an ‘Acceptable,’ on his practice O.W.L today rather than his usual perfect score…”
Sunghoon flares. “How–how did you know about that?”
“Oh you know,” Sunoo teases, “Jay is surprisingly loose-tongued when Jungwon’s around. I merely overheard.”
Sunghoon swears under his breath, and Sunoo stifles a laugh.
“Just–Just shut up and get to your room,” he huffs, and pushes Sunoo aside as he walks away.
Sunoo smiles all the way to his dormitory, riding high on the feeling of triumph. If he were a more caring person, he probably wouldn’t have said that last bit. But at this point, Sunoo’s convinced that Sunghoon isn’t real. A mere cartoonish, impish kind of villain that gets off on causing his own troubles. Again Sunoo couldn’t care less about Sunghoon, couldn’t bring himself to care about anyone, anything in his real life.
Except maybe his new pen pal. Was it technically his real life if he wasn’t using his real name? Names had power, right? Identities had power.
He kind of regrets suggesting that the person figure out who he is. Once they do, he’s sure he’ll lose interest in the secrecy and mystery of the pen pal situation. But at least he’ll be entertained for now, watching the person scramble for clues. It was a temporary fix to his utterly dull outlook on life. One that might end badly, depending on what the person’s intentions were.
Nevertheless, he’ll press on. Perhaps he’s searching for a little bit of that excitement he feels when he settles in bed with a good book, diving into a world unknown, filling up his chest with feelings undiscovered. Or perhaps he's just terribly bored. Either works.