Work Text:
The Safest Way to Travel
Written by Christopher Jones
You ever watched “Superman: The Movie” and look back on that scene where Christopher Reeve saves Lois Lane from getting crushed by that helicopter? You know, the one where he says to her, earnestly, that flying, “statistically is still the safest way to travel.” Well, my friend Greg would have a different opinion on the whole “flying” thing. Even when we were kids, Greg would have this strange fear of flying; he always said that the concept of going up, and he quotes, “a thousand-billion friggin’ feet in the air” sounds pretty frightening. The fact that there was often news about hijackings, crashes and turbulences certainly didn’t help curb his phobia. Things got even worse when 9/11 happened. After that day, I’m pretty sure Greg personally swore off flying for life and, if he could, he’d travel by boat instead.
“At least on the sea, you aren’t afraid of falling down billions of feet in the air to a fiery death,” Greg would always say when he felt like yammering on about boats and why they’re better than planes. He even mentioned that, at least when you’re on a boat, you wouldn’t have to face paranoid guards who think you got weapons on you. He wasn’t wrong about that; Greg and me have often heard horror stories from our Muslim neighbors about their friends and family (or even those who aren’t Muslims, just black) constantly searched for supposed “weaponries” more than white passengers. 9/11 really has sucked for everyone involved. So, yeah, with all you know so far, Greg would be the last person I’d expect to see go on a plane.
“Hey, Calvin,” Greg said as he entered my apartment. His skin looked pale, well not pale enough to be suddenly white, but he was definitely pale. He looked like he saw a ghost or some crap. “My boss…wants me to go London to discuss a deal with another company.”
My eyes literally bugged out when Greg told me this news. He said that he has to leave for JFK early in the morning. He was shaking; this would be his first time on a plane. I can tell he didn’t want to go, at all. However, this job was really important to him; do you know any guy in this neighborhood managing to get a job at a big business firm? No one but Greg, that is. Now, from the look of him, Greg’s really starting to regret having that job. All I could do was say some comforting words, along with “everything will be fine” and we had some beer. For tomorrow, Greg the man who rather go on a boat had to get on a plane.
I don’t exactly know the details of the whole story Greg told me, but I do know that Greg called at around 7:00 in the morning to tell me he had made it at the airport. He was still super scared as hell.
“Damnit, Calvin!” he said through my cell. “Why is this happening to me?! Why now and why here?”
Good Lord, that conversation was long. All Greg could talk about was how nervous he was going on that plane. He knows what could happen if he got on a plane; his life was at the hands of a giant flying machine capable of certain horror. Or worse, possibly waiting for hours on end for one flight. Okay, that wasn’t cool to say. Funny to me, though.
“God, I don’t want to do this,” said Greg, finally calming the hell down. “But I need this job. It pays well and, if I keep the good work, I might finally be up top, man. It’s too bad it has to be…up top a plane, man. This is, like, all my nightmares finally coming true.”
Wow. He probably wishes I were there right now. At least with me, he’d be a little calmer. Well, anyway, we said our goodbyes as Greg said he was headed to the terminal. No doubt Greg went through hell going by those metal detectors. He did tell me that he didn’t pack anything metal. And sharp. And resembled a gun and/or knife. Good for him. It was already around 10:00 or so when Greg called me again; I was already at work. He did tell me something interesting, though: he said he met a girl.
“Her name is Lois,” Greg said, laughing. He said it was just like Lois Lane, from Superman. He told me he didn’t want to mention it any further with her because he thought it would piss her off. Greg said that, while he was sitting on a bench waiting for that damn plane to show up, he said he saw this woman walk up to him, with a smile on her face.
“Hey there, stranger,” said Lois, as quoted by Greg. “You okay?”
Greg was a little wary of her; he told me he didn’t want to pour out all this problems on some stranger. A friendly stranger, yeah, but a stranger nonetheless. Greg described her as very…curvy. He said she had long hair formed into braids. Said that her skin was darker than even mine; not that he had a problem with that. He even said she looked older than the both of us, or at least more experienced at the whole “flying” thing than he was. He said that, despite being older, he said that she looked bubbly and youthful. It was weird coming from a businesswoman, because most of them he saw were mostly professional and not so emotional. Greg thought it was a nice change of pace. He probably needed a friend there right now.
“So, I told her that I had a massive fear of flying and that I was really freaking out,” Greg said. “I mean, I’m still freaking out, but not as much as I was before.”
According to Greg, Lois told him that she knew how he felt. She said that, when she started out like he did, she was extremely nervous and thought something terrible could happen. However, once she managed to close her eyes and breath slowly, the nervousness just went away as she got on that plane. So, she told him that he should try that and things might be better for him. Interesting advice, since Greg’s been known as a bit of a “Nervous Nelly,” as his mother often called him; no wonder people around here call her “The whitest black lady”, but we love her anyway.
“Hey, who’re you talking to?” said a voice next to Greg through my phone. It must’ve been this Lois lady he was talking about.
“Oh yeah, Greg. This is Lois, the lady I was talking to you about,” said Greg, stating the obvious to me. “You want to talk to her?” I said no and that I was busy.
“All right. Talk to you later,” said Greg, hanging up. That Lois sure sounded like an interesting lady. She even sounded bubbly for the brief time I heard her speak. Maybe I should’ve talked to her.
“Hey, Calvin” said Greg, who finally called after I left work. “I’m on the plane right now.” Holy shit! Excuse me language, but holy shit! Greg was finally on the plane and he was hyperventilating.
“Man, I wish you were here” said Greg, who’s probably looking out the window right now. “It looks so beautiful. The sky’s all orange, a nice-looking shade of orange, the clouds look like little rockets blasting off. To be honest, I’d love to see the ground from here. You’d probably look like an amoeba to me.”
Greg…was acting real weird. It’s amazing, really; he started out shaking and tried his best not to cry and suddenly, he’s become so cool and talking about how awesome it is up on that plane. I had to know what made him switch personalities.
“I did what Lois told me,” said Greg. “After that plane for London finally came after like 2 hours, I got really nervous. However, all I had to do was close my eyes and breath, just like what Lois said. So, I entered the plane, found the best seat they had, and I closed my eyes. Then, I woke up and, suddenly, the plane was in the air. I must’ve been sleeping for, like, an hour or something. I thought I’d be super freaked out, but…I wasn’t.”
To be honest, it was incredible how much a guy can change after waiting for a plane for two to three hours. I was impressed. It really did look like Greg was facing his fear of flying and he was conquering it. Still though, I was just a little worried about him. So, I asked him if there ever some trouble on that plane.
“Actually, no,” Greg said, which blew my mind. Normally, he’d be the type of guy who’d freak out if a plane had so much as had a little tremble. “Everything seems fine so far. Looks like it’s been a smooth flight. But, I’ll call you if something terrible will happen. Talk to you when I reach Jolly Old England, man.”
Well, I was proud of him. Finally, Greg has managed to beat the fear that plagued him throughout his life and was enjoying the ride. You know, I probably haven’t told you this, but Greg always wanted to go to England. He said he didn’t want to specifically go to London, the most common place when people think of England, but rather go to other cities like Liverpool or something. He also said that he would’ve loved checking out the moorlands, maybe take pictures of some sheep. Our friends would often joke that he should avoid werewolves while at the moors. Who knows, maybe he’s not busy talking with some stuffy, old businessmen, he could check out the sights, maybe take a peek at Buckingham Palace, snap some shots of Big Ben or maybe ride on top of a double-decker bus. Whatever he was gonna do, he was at least going to live his dream.
It’s been a while since I last heard from Greg. To be honest, I was getting a little worried about him. In the back of my head, I almost thought he got in a plane crash and got injured or, God forbid, died. In contrast, I thought Greg made his flight and finally got to England….and maybe ended getting killed somehow. Ah, man, I gotta stop worrying so much. Greg is probably fine. Maybe he’s at the office and finally trying to make that deal. Maybe he’s on a date with that Lois girl or something. Who knows, maybe both her and Greg got intimate… Ah, I never thought Greg would the type to go at it that fast. Then again, appearances can be deceiving.
“RRRRING! RRRING!” that’s my cell phone. It could be Greg. Finally, it took his ass long enough. So, I answered my phone and I said my hello. However, the voice I heard was not Greg….
“Hello?” said the woman on Greg’s phone. I ask her who this is and she says “It’s Lois. Who is this?”
Holy crap, it’s the woman Greg was talking. Or, at least, I think it is. Well, this is getting interesting. Anyway, I tell her my name and I ask for Greg.
“Oh, you’re Greg’s friend?” said Lois. “You know, he told me a lot about you while we were at the restaurant.”
Everything, huh? I really hope none of it was too embarrassing…
“Hmm, let’s see,” Lois said, trying to think back. “He told me that you tried to help him through his little flying problem. Greg said that that’s what he always liked about you, that you always tried to help a friend in need.”
Aw, man. I almost blushing when she said that. I guess I’ve always have been there for Greg, especially for stuff like this. That Lois sure sounded like a really lovely woman, too.
“You know, Calvin,” said Lois. “You really have a great friend in Greg. I remember meeting him again while he was near Big Ben. I never thought I’d see him again after the airport. But, we had some short conversations, then we decided to go out for drinks. So far, he’s funny, he’s smart and he’s definitely really nice. Then again, he does seem a little awkward and a little nervous. That much I know of him while at the airport. But, despite that, he seems like a great guy.”
“Well,” I said, with a smile on my face. “That’s because, he is. And, if you really, really got to know him better, you might really think he’s a great guy.” Well, here I go; being wingman to my best friend, even when he’s not there. Then, I hear a voice on the phone.
“Oh, God!” said the voice. It’s Greg, who picks up the phone and goes “Oh, hey, Calvin. Sorry I haven’t talked to you in a while. I see you and Lois had a nice conversation while I was in the John. Sorry, British speak. At least I assume it is.”
I just smile and laugh. It was nice to know that Greg was all right, especially since he was freaking out just a few days ago. It’s also nice to know that Greg’s getting himself a little girlfriend out of this whole situation. It really does look like Greg’s finally breaking out of his neurotic little shell and becoming growing a pair. I just wonder how long this will last.
“Hey, Greg,” I said to him, about to ask “When do you think you’re coming home?”
“Hmm,” exclaimed Greg. “I’d say about a couple days, tops.” I even asked him if he’s gonna freak out again over being on an airplane. This was his response.
“To be honest with you, I don’t think so. You know, looking back on that Superman movie, I’m starting to think Reeve had the right idea. Maybe flying really is the safest way to travel. Either way, I’m glad that nothing terrible had happened to me yet.”
“Wow,” I say, which is probably all that I can say at the moment. It’s remarkable. The guy who would always find ways to talk about how boats are better than planes is actually happy that he got on a plane. I know he mostly went on this trip for business, but maybe him being someplace outside of the city is actually doing him some good. Plus, he’s got some company. I’d never thought I see him grow so much.
“All right, Calvin,” said Greg. “I gotta head out now. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“All right, Greg.” I say to him before I hang up my phone and turn to the TV. Superman the Movie was on today. I almost wish Greg, at least the new Greg, were there to watch this with me right now. I’d love to know his thoughts about that helicopter scene now.
It’s just another average morning for me. I do my daily struggle to get out of bed, wash up, put on some deodorant, get dressed and eat some breakfast before work starts. I put out my bowl, pour out some Captain Crunch and start eating. Now, I turn on my TV to watch the news. However, when I turn it on, I was in for the shock of my life.
“A plane travelling from London to New York crashed last night,” said the reporter. “The plane crash landed near farmland around Upstate. The cause of the crash was a faulty engine. So far, over 20 passengers and the two pilots were injured, while 5 other passengers had died.”
Oh, God. Oh God, no! What if Greg was on the plane? Is he injured? Is he…dead? I gotta know, I must know. So, I grab the house phone, dial Greg’s cell and just wait for a response. I get his machine. So, I call again, and again, and again, and again but no answer. I’m just ready to give up and just assume the worse. But, after a long 2 minutes, the phone rings.
“Calvin?” said Greg, whose voice is music to my ears. He’s okay. “I’m sorry I couldn’t answer. I was in the shower in my hotel room. What’s up?”
“Don’t you know what happened?” I said. “The news just reported a plane crash this morning. People got injured and some got killed. I thought you were on that plane.”
No doubt that me telling him all this shook him up. But, after a brief breath and a “oh, my God”, Greg seems to calm down a bit. I almost expected him to freak out and restart his fear of planes again.
“Wow” said Greg. “That could’ve been me, huh? Well, that’s really sad, man. And just when I was finally getting ready to get on a plane again.”
I ask him if he was still getting ready. He says, “I dunno. I have to go on that plane so I can tell my bosses about the deal. Not to mention, Lois has to go back to her job, too. So, I guess you can say I’m ready. Are you worried?”
This is all strange coming from him. It’s honestly amazing how he’s so calm. Back in the day, he would’ve been freaking out right now. I guess having your first flight go so well can do that to you. You know what? I am gonna have to get ready to leave soon. I’ll call you when I reach New York. Catch you later?”
I say yes and just hang up. It was official. Greg was a changed man. I don’t know how long it would last, but he totally has changed. I just hope the news didn’t rattle him up in the inside too much. Also, I wonder if he and Lois still hooked up? Eh, doesn’t really matter and it’s probably none of my business anyway. Either way, my buddy was coming home. Let’s hope he’ll come home safe.
“Hey, Calvin,” said Greg as he was walking down the street. He’s been real cheerful ever since he got home from England. The deal made with his company was a success and I also heard that he got a promotion. Also, he had Lois’s number. I also finally got to meet her in the flesh; she definitely looks fine, and a real nice lady too. Not to mention, Greg made sure to tell me that his flight went on smoothly.
“Say, you know” again said Greg. “I got Superman on Blu-Ray. I was wondering if you wanted to come by my pad later and check it out. What do you say?”
I smile and nod. It has been a while since we saw that movie together. With Greg’s newfound experience with planes, I actually love to hear about his thoughts now. I wonder if he’ll invite Lois…?