Chapter Text
Seokjin quietly opens the door at the bottom of the stairs. He climbs half way up before he softly calls out, “Hobi!”
THUMP.
The thumping gets louder before Hoseok appears. He peeks his head over the railing, looking down at his dad. He’s shirtless, Seokjin observes.
“Yes, Papa?”
Seokjin holds up the egg timer. “You have 5 minutes to finish everything on your morning to-do list.”
“Okay, Papa!” Hoseok smiles and quickly returns to his side of the room, bare feet pounding on the hard wood as he dances away.
Seokjin turns to walk back downstairs, pauses, then turns back around. “Hobi!”
He waits for his son to come back. He knows if he gives Hoseok an instruction while he’s busy with another task, it’s like he never heard it at all.
The sound of Hoseok’s tiny feet hitting the floor gets louder as he skips back into view.
“If your clothes are all over the floor again, you need to finish cleaning your room after breakfast, even if Jihan is here. Okay?”
“That's okay, Papa! I’ll clean my own room because I’m a big kid in Kindergarten, remember?” Hoseok yells, even though Seokjin is standing about three feet away from him.
“Wait, Kindergarten!?” Seokjin teases his son, putting a hand to his forehead for added drama. “I thought Yoongi was in Kindergarten and you were still in preschool. Did I get that wrong?”
Hoseok squeals with laughter and shakes his head, “Silly Papa! No! I'm the big boy and Yoongi's the baby, remember?”
“How could I forget?” Seokjin says with fake exasperation as climbs to the top of the stairs and reaches out to pinch Hoseok's cheek. Hoseok jumps out of the way, laughing as he returns to his clothes, which indeed are all over the floor.
Seokjin smiles. He descends the stairs and rounds the corner, making his way back to his tiny kitchen, where he still has many things to accomplish on his own mental to-do list. Even though he knows there will be a mess to clean up, he has to admit Hoseok picking out his own outfits and showing them off with pride is a highlight of his mornings. It’s a new thing he started when he entered kindergarten a few weeks ago. He wants to be, “Completely independent, Papa!” with his morning routine. Hoseok likes bright colors, loud prints, and cute characters on his clothing. And Seokjin will try his hardest to build up his son’s sense of self and foster his individuality, to heighten his self esteem and-
“Papa….” he hears a sleepy voice coming from the downstairs bedroom.
Seokjin’s thoughts quiet down as another smile tugs at his lips. He enters his own room. Momo, the dog, is snoring softly at the foot of the bed. Seokjin looks up at the mess of pillows and blankets on the bed and sees that his youngest has burrowed himself under the comforter. Seokjin spots his cute little squishy cheeks peeking out from under the purple duvet, black hair fanned out across the pillow.
“Good morning, Yoongi.” Seokjin sits on the bed and kisses his son’s forehead, brushing his sleep tousled hair away from his face.
Yoongi, the complete opposite of Hoseok, would sleep until at least 8am every morning, even with his steady bed time of 7:30 every evening. He takes a while to fully wake up once he opens his eyes, and is very sensitive to lights and sounds, especially early in the morning. When Seokjin wakes up to the alarm clock that is Hoseok every morning at 5, he goes upstairs to scoop up a sleeping Yoongi and bring him into his own bedroom, so he can sleep for just a little longer.
“Papa goes to work?” Yoongi asks as Seokjin strokes his hair.
“Yes, sugar. Papa has a long day of work.” Seokjin takes a breath to slow down his speech. He doesn't want to overwhelm Yoongi after just waking up. “You have preschool today. Seulki-noona will drop you off and pick you up.”
“Mimi?” Yoongi asks.
“Mimi left last night so she could work today insead of Sunday. Sunday we have our special party with the Kims.”
“No in Papa’s car to school?”
“No, Papa will be at work all day. I will see you tonight at Namjoon-hyung’s house.”
“That’s late.”
Seokjin chuckles softly. “I agree. It is late. You will be in your jam-jams when I come get you and Hobi.”
Yoongi smiles slowly, processing his dad’s words. “Fuzzy jam-jams.”
“Yes you cozy, snuggly, cuddly child. It's no longer summer, so we can wear fuzzy jam-jams without the risk of overheating!” Seokjin punctuates the last few words with little tickles under Yoongi’s chin and around his neck, eliciting some soft giggles from his son.
“Papa needs to get breakfast ready for you and Hobi.” Seokjin leans in to kiss Yoongi again over his nose and cheeks. More giggles follow.
“Mmmmmm, you’re so sooooo sweet! I could eat you up. I love you so!”
“No eat me papa!” Yoongi says through his smile as he tries to hide in the blankets.
“Okay, fine, I guess I will just have to eat breakfast instead. Love you, sugar.”
“Love you, Papa.”
Seokjin exits his room and looks at the egg timer; 2 minutes and 44 seconds left before Hoseok will be down stairs. As calm as he tries to be for his children, he needs to hustle to get everyone out the door and himself to the hospital on time. Another deep breath. He can do this. Thursdays are the last working day of the week for him, and the most hectic day by far, with Kelly normally leaving in the afternoon to get to Rochester. Tomorrow starts his three days of solo parenting. This weekend will be a little different though since he and his boys will be spending it with Namjoon and his family from Korea, arriving today and staying for several weeks to celebrate Chuseok.
But before that, Thursday.
Seokjin rushes around the kitchen as efficiently as he can. He places the lunches he packed the night before in his kids’ backpacks, refills their water bottles, and checks to make sure that Momo has food and water for the day. He serves cold bap and banchan from the fridge onto four plates, places them on the table with chopsticks and forks, and grabs four yakults from the fridge. He’s in the process of throwing together a smoothie for himself and Seulki when Hoseok’s timer goes off. Seokjin rushes to the bottom of the stairs and opens the door.
“Lets see the fit, Hobi-yah! Bring the checklist down, too!”
A thud from upstairs is all the reply Seokjin needs. Seokjin glances in his room and sees Yoongi now sitting up on the bed. Momo has his head on Yoongi’s lap, and Yoongi has one hand stroking Momo’s belly. Seokjin finishes the smoothies and starts on some coffee as he hears Hoseok thundering down the stairs.
“Don’t look yet!” Hoseok calls from the living room. “I still need to put my socks on!”
Seokjin sighs and goes to his bedroom. Yoongi has one hand pressed over his ear, the other hand still petting Momo.
“Breakfast is ready, sugar.”
Yoongi looks at Seokjin and lifts both arms up. Seokjin will never say no to his baby, even if his baby is now three and a half and attending pre-school and is finally, finally beginning to speak in full sentences.
As he settles Yoongi into his booster seat, Hoseok slides into the kitchen.
“TADA!” he shrieks as he strikes a pose- arms up in a ‘Y’, one foot pointed out to the side, eyes closed, head thrown back, and huge smile on his face, revealing his two missing front teeth.
Seokjin takes a moment to look at his son, and can’t help but let out a huff of laughter. He’s wearing neon green track pants with black stripes going down the side, a tie dye t-shirt with an outline of a shark in the middle, and a yellow sweatband around his head. To top it all off, he has on mismatched socks, with Pusheen the cat on one foot and black polka dots on the other.
Yoongi, who had his shoulders shrugged up to his ears upon Hoseok's loud entrance, slowly relaxes and reaches his hands out to his brother.
“Hobi, come sit. Eat,” he says as he makes grabby hands in Hoseok’s direction.
If possible, Hoseok’s smile gets even wider as he gallops over to his brother and embraces him. At all times of the day, Hoseok embodies the typical traits of a five year old boy. He is busy, loud, messy, and always on the go. Seokjin has lost count of how many times he tells Hoseok to use his indoor voice. But Hoseok is always so sweet and gentle with his brother. If Yoongi told Hoseok he was too loud, Hoseok would apologize and give him a kiss. He knows Yoongi’s favorite foods and drinks, books and toys. He is patient when they play together, offering to share his big boy toys or play with Yoongi’s “baby” toys. And by Yoongi’s own report, Hoseok also gives the best hugs. Which doesn’t offend Seokjin at all.
A growl comes from the hallway. Momo runs out of Seokjin’s bedroom and into the living room. Seokjin hears the sounds of him jumping onto the leather sofa. The growling gets louder until it turns into barking. Yoongi releases his embrace from Hoseok and puts both hands over his ears. Hoseok runs into the living room, no doubt to join Momo on the couch, and starts yelling, “Seulki-noona is here! That means Jihan and Ara are here, too! AHHH!”
The sounds of Hoseok’s screeching and Momo’s barking fill the small space, and Yoongi begins to pout, feeling distressed. Too loud, too early. Seokjin grabs the box of dog treats he keeps next to the side door. He strides into the living room. “Hoseok,” he says firmly, but not unkindly, “volume.”
Hoseok purses his lips together and looks up at Seokjin with big eyes.”I’m just very excited to take the bus with Jihan today!” he whispers.
“I know that, baby. You just need to be excited with your inside voice. Go eat breakfast, please.”
Hoseok peels out of the living room as Seokjin turns to his dog and snaps his fingers. He shakes the treat container. Momo keeps barking, but slows it down. He looks between the SUV that has now pulled into the driveway and Seokjin, torn between who needs his attention more.
“Momo,” Seokjin says in his stern dog trainer voice, “down.” He points to the floor.
The pitbull jumps off the couch and sits right at Seokjin’s socked feet. “Easy,” Seokjin draws out the word as he feeds him a treat. “Momo, come.” Seokjin turns and walks slowly from the living room and into the kitchen, hand by his side with a treat in his fist. Momo follows him to the side door. He gives him the treat before he instructs Momo again.
“Sit.” Momo sits, his tail going crazy, slapping the legs of Yoongi’s booster seat in his excitement.
“Okay, you oversized doorbell,” Seokjin says, giving Momo another treat, “wait.”
Seokjin stands in front of Momo, absolutely still. He hears the voices outside and feet walking up the porch steps. Momo looks away from Seokjin and growls at the door.
“Wait.” Seokjin says again. Momo looks back at him.
“Wait.” Seokin’s hand goes for the door knob.
“Wait,” he slowly turns the knob
“Waaaaait…” he slowly opens the door.
“Good morning Jin-hyung!” Jihan jumps through the threshold and immediately attaches himself to Seokjin's waist in a hug. With that, the spell is broken and Momo starts barking again. He springs up, needing to see the intruders and protect his pack. He weasels his way between Seokjin’s legs to look out the door, but when he sees it’s only Seulki with Ara in her arms, his barking turns into whines and he flips on his back.
“Ohhhh my big baby guard dog!” Seulki exclaims as she attempts to enter the kitchen, not easy to do with Momo sprawled out at her feet. Jihan puts his shoes on the rack before making his way over to the empty seat at the table, next to Hoseok, who is yelling welcomes and telling Jihan just how excited he is for today. Yoongi’s hands are back on his ears.
Seokjin turns his attention to his friend. “Yah! You do this every time, noona. He’s supposed to stay sitting until the door closes-”
“Jinnie-jagi, you’ve been working on that for years-”
“And you constantly encourage him to come see you right away-”
“We both know Momo will never sit at the door or stop barking when people come over-”
“Not true! Old dogs can indeed learn new tricks-”
“-not when you’ve been working on the same trick for eight years. And besides, Momo is a big softy behind that bark and block shaped head -”
“Well, tell that to the poor Amazon worker he jumped at last June! Amazon still refuses to deliver packages to us-”
As Seokjin and Seulki bicker in lieu of a greeting, Seokjin gives Seulki the treat for Momo and takes Ara into his arms with an exaggerated kiss on her temple. He gets her shoes off and sits her down in the booster next to Yoongi. Seulki takes off her own shoes as she coos at Momo, giving him his well deserved treat. She walks over to the Blentec and pours herself and Seokjin their smoothies before putting a lid on his and adding it to his lunch box.
She moves around his home like she lives there. Well, she basically does. Seulki, Namjoon’s wife, is one of his oldest and dearest friends, having known her for nearly a decade now. They have been there for each other in the most trying times, and she has seen him at his worst. They spend such a ridiculous amount of time with each other and their kids that they are often mistaken as a couple, which usually makes Seokjin gag and Seulki cackle with the hilarity of it.
Seulki flicks him on the forehead, effectively ending their bickering for the moment. She gives him a sly smile before squeezing her way into the only remaining chair at the table, also next to Hoseok. She plants a kiss on his cheek, the one that doesn't have cooked spinach and sesame seeds on it. Hoseok gives her a winning smile around his bap and sigeumchi. “How's my favorite sunshine boy today?” she asks him as she fixes his hair around the sweat band.
Hoseok swallows his mouthful loudly. “I’m so excited to take the bus with Jihan to and from school today! And I can’t wait to celebrate Korean Thanksgiving this weekend and eat all the food and play fun games and see Halmeoni and Harabeoji and Namhee-noona and Suho-hyung and-” Hoseok furrows his brows. “What do I call the other one?”
“Other one? You mean Namjoon’s cousin?” Seulki clarifies.
“Samcheon,” Jihan replies after taking a gulp of yakult, licking the remnants off his lips.
“Yes,” Seulki agrees, smiling at her eldest, “you can call Jungkook samcheon, he’d like that.”
“Sum- chin,” Hoseok tests out his new Korean vocabulary word as he turns back to his breakfast.
Seeing his children well tended to, Seokjin heads to his bedroom to collect all his bags and make sure he has everything he needs for the day. He hears Seulki laugh as she moves to greet Yoongi.
Like Hoseok, Seokjin is also excited for this weekend. It will be a nice change of pace and he really likes Namjoon’s family. He has had the pleasure of meeting various members over the last 15 years. There are Namjoon’s parents, Sangchul and Insook. They are in their 70s, and Sangchul is still working full time. They have visited from Korea only a handful of times, the long plane ride and jet lag being difficult for them to recover from.
Namjoon has a much older sister, Namhee, and her son Suho, who has to be about 17 now. She is married, but her husband’s health is poor and he has never been on a plane because of it. Namhee and Suho have only been to visit once, for Namjoon’s graduation from law school.
Then, there is Namjoon’s cousin, Jungkook. Seokjin has never met him. Namjoon has described Jungkook as being like a younger brother to him. Seokjin loves the stories Namjoon has told him about growing up just outside of Seoul, and all the shenanigans he and Jungkook would get into when he would come to visit. Jungkook apparently comes to the states often for business, and if Namjoon can get away, they will try to meet up.
Besides that, the only other thing Seokjin knows that Jungkook is that he is in the entertainment industry in Korea. In what medium, Seokjin doesn’t know. He did ask Namjoon once if he was the same Jungkook from his favorite musical group of all time, JJT. Namjoon’s response was to swallow his soda the wrong way and have a coughing fit, some of the soda coming out his nose, which caused Seokjin to laugh so hard he cried.
Regardless, Seokjin is more than happy to meet him. If he is part of the industry, he and Seokjin will have a lot to talk about. Seokjin is a huge fan of k-dramas and k-pop. He could talk about tv shows, movies, and music, especially music, for hours on end. It will be nice to speak with someone who has a similar passion.
Seokjin double checks his yoga bag he packed last night, his work bag, and the bag with the kid’s extra clothes and pajamas. He trips over Momo, who has been following Seokjin like a shadow, on his way into the bathroom to brush his teeth and fix his hair. He comes back to the kitchen to grab his lunch box and looks at his watch. 6:36. He needs to leave in 4 minutes. What else can he get done in four minutes before he needs to be in the car? He moves to bring the Blendtec to the sink, but stops when there is a hand on his own.
“I’ve got this, jagi-yah,” Seulki says to him as she pats his hand. “You get to work.”
Seokjin brushes her off. “I asked you to watch my kids for the morning, not to clean my house.”
“Well, then it’s a good thing that I have no intention of cleaning your house, simply the dishes from breakfast.”
“I don’t need your help noona I still have-” he checks his watch again “-three and a half minutes. I can do some dishes.”
Seulki allows him to take the Blendtec to the sink and fill it with hot soapy water. “I know very well that you do not in fact need any help,” she tells him. “You are the most stubbornly independent human to ever live. Of course you can clean your whole kitchen in under three minutes-
“-I didn’t say the whole thing, just this-”
“-and I am telling you I want to do all the dishes and get Hobi on the bus and drop Yoongi off at preschool. And I like helping you because I love you and you are family. Now, go kiss your babies and have an extra 30 seconds to yourself in the car to listen to some calming music or whatever podcast you are into at this moment in time!”
Seokjin’s ears have grown pinker since Seulki had started talking. “God,” he whines, “you’re so annoying.” He hugs her around the shoulders, quick enough so she can’t trap him in a hug in return. He turns and moves to Jihan first.
“Have fun on Hobi’s bus this morning, Ji. Make sure he gets on yours when school is done.”
“Of course, hyung,” Jihan replies sincerely. “You can count on me. But, also his teachers will know since you told them, so they can make sure too.”
That makes Seokjin laugh. “Stop sounding like your appa,” he says and kisses him on the top of his head. Jihan can be as serious as Namjoon sometimes, especially when it comes to his big brother role.
Seokjin picks up Hoesok’s morning to-do’s list and pulls off the dry erase marker velcroed to the back. “Okay, lets see…” Seokjin checks off “use toilet,” “brush teeth,” “brush hair,” “get dressed,” and “backpack.”
“Noona needs to come upstairs with you and check on your bed and clothes before you leave for school today, okay?”
“Okay, Papa!”
“And remember you need to do that before you and Jihan can play, okay?”
“Okay, Papa!”
Seokjin can’t even begin to describe the sheer amount of love he has in his heart for Hoseok. He is such a good boy. Even when he’s frustrated and having a melt down, he’s the best boy. Seokjin loves him for all of it. He peppers kisses on Hoseok’s neck, right in the most ticklish spots and listens to his explosive giggles and half-hearted protests for him to stop.
“Alright, alright, I’ll stop. Thanks for using your words to tell me. I’ll see you tonight, baby. I love you.”
“I love you too, Papa!” Hoseok jumps down from his chair to put his plate in the sink. He eats at the same speed he does everything else: fast.
Seokjin turns to the next in line- his Yoongi. Unlike his brother, Yoongi does everything slowly and methodically. He is currently concentrating on using his fork to pick up a slippery piece of kimchi. Seokjin leans down to be eye level with his son. “Noona will help pick out some clothes for you. She will drop you off at preschool and pick you up. And when you get back to her house, do you remember who will be there?”
Yoongi smiles slowly, revealing his chicklet teeth and pink gums. “Halmeoni,” he says contentedly.
Seokjin laughs. “And many other people as well, but yes, the amazing Halmeoni will be there too. I’ll see you tonight when you are in your fuzzy jam-jams, ok sugar? Be good for noona.” He kisses Yoongi on his full dumpling cheek. “Love you.”
Lastly, Seokjin turns to Ara, the youngest of the Kim crew at two years old. She is currently using her hands to eat rice and seaweed, feet kicking against her seat. “Love you, angel.” He kisses Ara the way she likes it, right on the temple with a loud smack. She smiles with cheeks full of rice.
Seokjin sighs and turns to Seulki. “Okay. Backpacks are packed with lunch boxes and water bottles inside. Green bag over there has their toiletries, change of clothes just in case Hoseok comes back from school covered in dirt, and their pajamas. Bus comes at-”
“I’m gonna stop you right there, super papa. I know the bus comes at 8:15 and yes, we have a whole 90 minutes to finish Hoseok’s list and get Yoongi ready. Yoongi’s preschool is at 9 but he likes to be there early. I will make sure to take Momo out before we leave. We have extras of everything at our house because you put them there, so stop worrying, turn that part of your brain off, and get those pink scrubs you’re wearing out of this house. They are assaulting my eyes.” As Seulki berates him, she hands him his work sneakers and sits him down in a chair. She begins to collect all of his many bags needed for his day. As he stands up, she shoves them into his arms and pushes him toward the door. “Stop acting like this is a chore for me and I’ve never done this before, it's insulting!”
Seokjin fake gasps as he opens the door. “Me? Insult you?! I would never.”
“Bye!” Seulki states as she goes to close the door.
Seokjin puts his hand on the door to stop her. “Seriously noona, thank you.”
Seulki softens a bit. “You don’t need to thank me, Jin-ah. I’ll see you tonight, we all will.”
“Also, never insult my signature pink scrubs again.”
She scowls at him, and Seokjin just gets enough time to yell out, “I love you, my babies!” before his own door shuts in his face. Seokjin takes a deep breath and turns around, walking down the porch steps and toward the garage. He begins counting his breaths as he places his bags in the passenger seat. He focuses on his exhale, making sure it’s longer than his inhale.
As he gets in the car and buckles his seatbelt, he closes his eyes and continues to focus on his breath for a moment. He’s been up since 5. He went to bed last night at 11. He’s so, so tired, And it's only the beginning of a very long day. He loves his kids, loves being a dad, loves his family and his jobs… and it’s so hard. For the past three years, it’s been so hard. Sure, year three is easier than year one, but it is still so much to handle that at times it feels like too much, like he actually can't do it. Seokjin continues to focus on his breath, bringing his attention to his chest as he feels it rise and fall.
Seulki was right, he needed this little bit of extra time in the car to reset. To leave the morning behind him. To remind himself that right now, in this moment, sitting in his car and breathing, it’s okay. He’s okay. His kids are okay. He’s in this moment and this moment alone, and he’s okay.
As a treat to himself he pulls up his “zen JJT” playlist on Spotify. Usually he listens to parenting podcasts during his commute, but today he needs to hear his favorite voices to help ground him and get him through the day. JJT has always been there for him when he needs to feel comforted. He pulls out of the driveway as the soothing voice of Park Jimin fills his old Toyota Corolla. He begins his drive to work, and he’s okay.