Chapter Text
"Jimin?"
Taehyung's voice sounds hesitant, and Jimin is already sure he isn't going to like what comes next. Fussing with one of Yoojin's socks, pulling it a little further over her tiny foot, he doesn't look up to meet Taehyung's gaze, just hums inquisitively.
"Jungkook said he saw Yoongi in town yesterday. He's back".
It annoys Jimin how his heart still misses a beat at the mere mentioning of Yoongi's name, hates his body for the fact that he knows his scent has changed to betray his distress, even after all this time.
He does his best to keep his tone neutral though, still not meeting Taehyung's eyes, as he replies: "Oh. Well, that makes sense. It has been a year…"
"Yeah", Taehyung says, scooting over closer and leaning a hand on Jimin's knee, "It has. And I know you don't want to hear this, but now that he's back you should contact him. Even with all that's happened, he deserves to know. And you deserve his support. You need his support. Jimin –"
"I know".
Jimin forces the words out, almost choking on them.
"I know".
And he does know. He knows it's unfair to keep this from Yoongi, knows Yoojin deserves her other parent in her life, knows he himself can really use the financial support, if not some support in terms of sharing the work that comes with raising Yoojin.
All that doesn't make it any less painful though. Yoongi betrayed him. It may be a year ago already, but every time Jimin thinks of Yoongi he revisits that same horrible moment in his mind, sees that woman's lips on Yoongi's, feels the resulting shock, nausea and heartbreak all over again.
How is he supposed to put that all aside and let Yoongi into his life again?
Because he knows Yoongi. He will want to get involved, will want to properly get to know his daughter, will want to build a relationship with her, might even want to try to build a relationship with Jimin again too.
Jimin's life is already difficult enough as it is, with working full-time to pay the bills next to raising Yoojin by himself (well, okay, Taehyung and Jungkook help out a lot, thank god): how the hell is he supposed to handle involving his ex on top of that?
His ex who cheated on him.
Who kissed some random woman at his company's own farewell party for him, a party that he knew Jimin would come to meet him at after finishing up at the dance studio.
Who mercilessly, carelessly, broke Jimin's heart just before moving to America for a year, leaving Jimin to deal with all the pain by himself.
And sure, it had already been the plan for Yoongi to spend a year working in America before Jimin had found out about the cheating – which had already caused the necessary tension in their relationship –, and Jimin had only found out about his pregnancy a month after Yoongi left, but still.
It feels like one big betrayal anyway: his alpha had not only cheated on him, but left him, pregnant, to raise their baby on his own.
So yeah, Jimin knows he should contact Yoongi; he just doesn't know if he can.
In the following days Jimin loses count of how many times he pulls up Yoongi's newly unblocked contact in his phone, only to chicken out.
He's not even sure if Yoongi's number is still the same, but merely the thought of potentially hearing his voice again, of needing to somehow stay coherent enough to explain the situation, of needing to meet him, is enough to have Jimin on the edge of a panic attack whenever he tries.
How do you explain to someone that you have a four-month old daughter together?
You don't, his mind keeps telling him; it's too hard.
And so time passes by.
Days become a week, and one week becomes two.
Jimin knows that the longer he waits, the more difficult it will get. When Yoongi had still been in America Jimin had had an excuse not to contact him: it had always been Yoongi's dream to go abroad for a while to work with international producers, and it would have been sad for him to have to cut his time there short now that he was finally there.
Because Yoongi would have cut his time there short, Jimin knows he would have.
Now, there's really no legitimate reason to stall anymore though. Yoongi is back in Seoul and with Yoojin growing and developing every day, he's missing out on more and more. By now he has already missed the first time she laughed, the first time she rolled over by herself, even the first time she reacted to her own name last week: how much more will Jimin let him miss?
Some vindictive part of him wants to make Yoongi miss it all, wants to punish him for what he did and feels like it's only fair because Yoongi was the one who fucked things up, but another, kinder part of him feels guilty.
It's different as an omega, he knows, because he could never have a child without knowing about it himself, but the thought of unknowingly having a kid and missing out on all those milestones because the other parent refused to inform him is devastating, and makes Jimin feel worse about his inaction with every passing day.
Next to that, there's a small, honest part of himself that knows that he never even gave Yoongi the chance to explain himself: when Jimin saw him with that woman he had just walked away and refused all contact from then on, even though Yoongi really had tried to reach out to him in every way.
Maybe there had actually been an explanation for what happened? It's probably a naïve hope to have, but you never know, and he'll definitely never know if he doesn't contact Yoongi.
However, it's also easy to keep making excuses as to why today isn't a good day to make the call: there's always something urgent going on at work, some type of fuss concerning Yoojin, or just sheer exhaustion that makes him put it off.
In the end, it's almost a month since Yoongi's return by the time Jimin finally caves in. And of course, of course it happens exactly how Jimin hadn't wanted things to happen.
Taehyung and Jungkook had been gone on a short holiday to Daegu, leaving Jimin without his usual babysitters, and next to that one of the teachers at his dance studio had called in sick, meaning that Jimin had to take over her lessons next to all his administrative duties.
On top of that, when Jimin had finally picked Yoojin up from kindergarten that Friday evening she'd been unusually fussy, and had developed a fever that same night. When she'd also started throwing up around midnight Jimin had rushed her to the emergency room in a panic, and it had taken hours before they'd been sent home with medication.
Of course, the unfamiliar environment and prodding had only made Yoojin fussier and more upset, meaning Jimin hadn't slept a wink that night, switching between walking up and down the living room with her cradled in his arms and staying awake next to her crib, watching anxiously as she fitfully slept.
These were the sort of times when Jimin was sure he'd fuck things up. He didn't know anything about being a parent: he could miss important signs and she could die. Sure, he was at an age at which people didn't look at him weirdly for being a dad, nearing the end of his twenties, but being older didn't mean that he had magically gained useful parenting skills.
Normally you'd still have the other parent to discuss with, to share responsibilities with, but for obvious reasons Jimin didn't have that, and it had left him feeling utterly terrified throughout the whole ordeal.
Which is why, when Yoojin's fever finally breaks early that morning and she settles into her first properly undisturbed sleep of the night, Jimin breaks down.
He had still been okay throughout her morning feeding, throughout giving her a bath and putting her in a fresh diaper and clothes and putting her to bed, but as soon as he closes the bedroom door behind him he falls to his knees, completely done.
With the door between him and his baby, Jimin finally lets the tears he has been fighting ever since yesterday flow, pressing a hand to his mouth to not make too much noise.
It's just so hard.
Raising a baby is exhausting as it is, but with this hellish workweek behind him, with Yoojin's illness and the trip to the hospital, Jimin just can't anymore.
He can't anymore and he needs his alpha, he needs his partner.
He needs someone to take over and tell him he did okay, needs someone to hold him and soothe him like he hasn't been held and soothed for over a year.
He needs Yoongi.
Despite all the bad blood between them, despite the fact that Jimin is still so hurt and angry, he needs Yoongi.
This time it's easy to press 'Call', Jimin's heart racing in anticipation as he waits for the line to connect. There's a desperate urgency running through him, his instincts pressing him to get his alpha here now, and he's so exhausted that he can't fight it anymore like he usually does, can't rationalise away his needs.
He just needs, needs so badly, please –
He sobs out loud when the line connects, and then sobs even louder when Yoongi's voice comes through.
"Jimin?"
Yoongi's voice alone brings back so many memories, such hurt and yearning and relief, that Jimin is crying hysterically within a second, still trying to stifle his sounds against his drawn-up knees but failing miserably.
God, Jimin has missed him. He has missed him during his pregnancy, during childbirth, during all Yoojin's little milestones, and all the weight of it comes crashing down on him now.
He doesn't even know how to breathe in between his sobs anymore, desperately struggling for oxygen while his whole body shudders, and each worried question of Yoongi makes it worse. Because Yoongi sounds exactly how he used to sound, sounds like home, and Jimin can't deal, he can't.
He knows he's freaking Yoongi out though, the alpha's voice becoming more and more hysterical as Jimin keeps not responding.
"Jimin, where are you? Tell me where you are, please. Lovely, please –"
The use of the endearment makes Jimin choke on another sob, and it's only with the greatest effort that he manages: "Home".
"You're home?", it directly sounds from the speaker, Yoongi's voice urgent. "Where you used to live?"
Jimin manages a "Y-yeah", and then there's a rustling sound though the line, Yoongi causing a whole new wave of desperate sobs as he says: "Okay, I'm coming to you. Don't move, okay? I'm coming, I'll be there in twenty minutes, hold on!"
Jimin only manages a broken whimper at that, and then the hand holding his phone is dropping to the floor, and Jimin presses his face into his drawn-up knees and curls up even smaller as he continues to cry helplessly.
Yoongi is on his way.
And Jimin has no idea whether he should be relieved or scared about that.
It feels both too long and too short before the doorbell is ringing. Too long because Jimin's nerves just kept on rising and rising as time passed, making him fear that he'd literally pass out if it took any longer; too short because he isn't ready, still has no idea how to handle this.
He's sure he'll just break down further when he sees Yoongi: he's already breaking down further at the mere idea of seeing him. And then he still somehow has to tell him about Yoojin too.
How?
The shrill sound of the doorbell ringing again reminds Jimin that he doesn't have any more time to think about it though, and he's trembling all over as he pushes himself up from the floor, one hand tracing along the wall for support as he makes his way to the front door.
Fuck.
He can't do this, he really, really can't. It was a mistake to call Yoongi, such a bad mistake, but Yoongi is here now and he'll never leave without seeing Jimin after Jimin's earlier hysterics on the phone. He probably thinks Jimin is in danger, or that someone has died: he would never leave without knowing for sure that Jimin is okay.
Fuck.
As Jimin reaches the door, for a moment he feels like he might puke, his stomach rolling dangerously. He has never felt this out of control before, has never been this anxious in his life, and his hand is shaking uncontrollably as he reaches for the doorknob.
He almost has a heart attack when just at that moment there's heavy knocking on the door, Yoongi's panicked voice sounding through it, and Jimin knows he can't wait any longer, he needs to open the door.
Laying eyes on Yoongi feels unreal.
Yoongi still looks exactly the same as he had a year ago: the same dark brown hair, cat-like eyes and pouty lips, the same dark, casual clothing over a slender but broad-shouldered frame. Even through Jimin's clogged-up nose he can still smell Yoongi's familiar spicy scent, the scent that meant home to him for so long.
It's almost like the past year never happened, like Yoongi is just coming over like he normally would to spend their weekend together.
And maybe that's the thing that flips the switch within Jimin.
Suddenly, it's not important at all anymore what happened between them, what Yoongi did or didn't do: Jimin is just an omega who has been without his alpha for a year, who has missed him and wanted him and needed him for countless days, and now he's finally here.
It makes Jimin reach out without even thinking about it, his longing trumping any doubts as he flings himself into Yoongi's arms. He just needs to be held, needs to be soothed and loved and cherished. Needs Yoongi's scent all over him, needs it now.
Luckily, Yoongi seems all too ready to oblige.
Within a second Yoongi's arms are around him, pressing Jimin to his chest as tightly as he can, and then Jimin is crying helplessly again, in hard, ugly sobs.
He missed him, he missed him, god how he missed him.
The feeling is overwhelming enough to make Jimin feel like he might drown in it, like he's literally falling apart. None of his choked-up inhales get him enough oxygen, and he desperately gasps for air as he presses his face in the crook of Yoongi's neck, clumsily trying to scent him, his hands grabbing tightly into the material of Yoongi's shirt.
He just needs to be closer, needs more. Needs all the horrible memories of the past year to be erased, needs things to be okay again. Desperately, desperately needs things to be okay again.
As Jimin soon finds though, everything Yoongi does just makes his hysteria worse: the soft, soothing murmur of Yoongi's voice in his ears, the hand carding gently through his hair, the strong arm around his waist keeping him up.
Because the more Yoongi holds him the more Jimin comes back to himself and realises that this doesn't fix anything, that things maybe aren't fixable.
The man he loved, still loves, is holding him, exactly like Jimin has longed for all this time, but Yoongi also cheated on him, hurt him and left him, and the longer he's in Yoongi's arms the worse the confusion and inner conflict get.
Soon, he's starting to feel faint with how badly he's hyperventilating, but he doesn't know how to stop. He can't let go, physically can't get himself to do it, but it also hurts, everything just hurts.
Jimin is so out of it that he doesn't even properly register Yoongi pulling him further into the house, the door shutting behind them while Yoongi keeps up his string of soothing words. It's only when Yoongi makes to pull him up into his arms, murmuring something about carrying him to the sofa, that Jimin manages to shake his head.
He still needs to tell Yoongi about Yoojin, needs to check up on her anyway to see if she's still okay, and that's how he finds himself stuttering in between sobs: "N-no, no, the – the b-bedroom…"
He's aware that simply confronting Yoongi with a baby in a crib is probably the worst way of breaking the news, but he also knows he isn't capable of anything better at the moment, so it will just have to do.
Jimin's anxiety rises with every step towards the bedroom door though, and he feels like his heart might give out on him with how fast it's beating when Yoongi opens the door and gently guides him through, blood rushing in Jimin's ears as he chokes out: "I'm sorry. I'm s-sorry…"
The feeling of Yoongi's body going completely rigid is enough of a sign that Yoongi noticed the crib, his hold on Jimin faltering.
Oh god.
Through his panic Jimin can't stand to face Yoongi's reaction, feels nausea rise up in him at the mere thought of Yoongi rejecting Yoojin, of him getting angry or storming out, and so he finds himself releasing his hold on Yoongi's shirt to let himself drop to the floor instead, curling up small and bringing his forearms over his head, hiding behind them.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"
His words are probably hardly comprehensible with how hard he's crying, but he can't stop repeating them anyway.
Just the idea of what Yoongi must be feeling now eats at Jimin's insides: Jimin did this, he was the one who denied Yoongi the knowledge about the existence of his daughter, he was the one who pushed him away, who never gave him the chance to explain himself after Jimin saw him with that woman, who blocked his number and threw his stuff out of his apartment.
And yeah, Yoongi probably deserved it, but Yoojin is still his daughter, he should have still had the choice –
Jimin is so lost to his own panic that he flinches when there are suddenly hands on his shoulders.
"Jimin. Jimin, is… Is that – the – is the baby mine? Is the baby ours?"
Yoongi sounds completely choked up, desperate, and Jimin just curls up smaller as he nods, feeling more lost and sad than he ever has.
But then he's being pulled forward, and he barely has the time to whimper in distress before he's tugged onto Yoongi's lap, the alpha hugging him as tightly as he can.
It's clear that Yoongi is crying now too as he brokenly whispers: "Oh my god, you were pregnant. Fuck, fuck, you were pregnant and I left, I left you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…"
Jimin hadn't thought he could cry any harder but apparently he can, and his lungs ache with it as he curls further into Yoongi's embrace, Yoongi's lips pressing to his hair while the alpha holds onto him desperately.
Of course Yoojin chooses that moment to start crying too, probably having woken up from all the noise and distressed pheromones in the air, and Jimin can only whimper into Yoongi's neck as he continues crying, too exhausted and broken down to do anything more than that.
Which leaves Yoongi to be the one to draw back a bit, clearly looking over at the crib before whispering: "Fuck. Fuck, Jimin, I don't know what to do, I can't – What am I supposed to do? Please, please tell me what to do…"
Yoojin only cries harder with every passing second, and Jimin knows he should go to her, should soothe her, his instincts yelling at him to take care of his baby; his limbs are just not cooperating as he shakily tries to push himself up from Yoongi's hold.
But then Yoongi's arms tighten around him again, and before Jimin knows it he's hauled up from the floor, Yoongi's hands securely around his thighs as Yoongi carries him over to the bed, crawling up onto it to carefully deposit Jimin in its middle.
Jimin is still trying to get his bearings, uselessly attempting to dry his tears with his sleeves while sobs keep wracking his body, when Yoongi smooths his hair, presses a kiss to his crown, and crawls off the bed again.
"Shit, do I -?", he hears from by the crib, Yoongi's voice soft and insecure. "I'll just -?"
Jimin watches on through blurry eyes as Yoongi carefully reaches into the crib, clumsily taking a wriggling Yoojin into his arms and quickly moving over to the bed.
"Here…", he says as he holds her out to Jimin, "Is that okay? I – I don't know what to do, if you just tell me what to do I'll do it, I'll do anything, but I – I don't know…"
But Jimin is already reaching for her, expertly cradling her against his chest and burying his nose in her neck, scenting her and mumbling soothing words even as his own tears continue to fall. There's no way she'll properly calm down as long as he's this distressed but Jimin also can't stop crying, so this will just have to do for now.
It's at least soothing to have her in his arms, to hold her tightly and have her tiny fingers grab onto his shirt, and Jimin folds himself around her, instinctively protecting her as much as possible, as he rocks her to and fro.
Even despite her continued crying he feels himself slumping over, so exhausted, so depleted, and he therefore goes pliantly when Yoongi appears behind him, pulling Jimin in between his spread legs.
There's still so much to do, so much to talk through, but Jimin hasn’t slept for more than a full day by now, has been through hell and back in a span of twenty-four hours, and he feels his eyes drooping as Yoongi pulls him further into his arms, guiding Jimin's face sideways against his neck while his lips press against his hair.
Yoongi just smells so comforting, so safe, and despite his best intentions Jimin feels himself doze off further. His limbs twitch a single time, and then he's gone.
Jimin wakes to the feeling of a hand softly carding through his hair, and for a moment he has no idea where he is.
What day is it? Why was he asleep? Why is there someone here?
That's when the unmistakeable scent of Yoongi hits him, and his eyes blink open with a start, his brain still trying to catch up to all that had happened earlier but his heart already picking up pace.
Yoongi came over. And he saw Yoojin, and –
And it's getting dark outside? It can't be getting dark outside, it had barely been morning when he called Yoongi, what -?
"Hey, Jimin, it's okay, everything's okay, you just slept for a while…"
At Yoongi's words Jimin snaps properly awake and he quickly sits up, his gaze flying over to where Yoongi is apparently sitting next to him in bed, a soundly sleeping Yoojin curled up against his chest.
What the fuck.
Yoongi is a picture of serenity, his body leaning back against the headboard of the bed and his left arm holding Yoojin against his chest as if he's done this countless times before, but that's insane. This whole situation is insane.
"What -?", Jimin manages, his gaze flicking over to the window once more. It really is getting dark outside, and Jimin is thoroughly, thoroughly confused.
"Yeah, you slept for pretty long, I didn't want to wake you up since it seemed like you could really use it…"
Yoongi's tone is soft, his expression fond if not somewhat insecure, and Jimin is desperately trying to take this all in. He apparently slept for almost twelve whole hours, which means that Yoojin must have needed multiple meals by now, must have needed her diaper changed –
The urge to make sure she's okay is suddenly overwhelming, and Jimin reaches out for her, scooting closer to Yoongi in the process.
"Yoojin.."
Jimin breathes out in relief as he softly caresses over her head and back, feeling the movement of her calm breaths against his palm. She doesn't feel too warm which means her fever hasn't come back, and if she's sleeping peacefully that means that someone must have fed her, that she's okay…
"That's her name?"
Jimin's gaze flies up to Yoongi's face again at the hesitant question, and Jimin is shocked to see tears in Yoongi's eyes as he looks down at his daughter.
"That's – that's a pretty name. It's – you did well, it suits her…"
Yoongi sounds broken, and Jimin is speechless as he looks on. He doesn't know what to do with this situation, doesn't know where they stand and where he wants them to stand, just knows that his heart hurts at Yoongi's expression, at how he sits there holding the daughter he doesn't even know.
He's still thinking of something to say when Yoongi continues: "I found the baby formula and diapers and did my best with both…"
Casting a quick look at Jimin, he hurries on: "I called Seokjin for advice and checked everything at least three times, don't worry! I think it should be fine, she fed three times without any issues… I just – I don't know how old she is so I didn't know the correct amount for sure…"
Yoongi trails off, his free hand reaching up to wipe a tear away that had escaped from his eye, and Jimin almost chokes on the words as he rasps out: "Five months…"
Yoongi repeats him as he looks down at Yoojin again, looking both amazed and deeply sad, and Jimin can't take it anymore, one hand reaching out to Yoongi's knee as he starts: "Yoongi, I'm so sorry, I should have –"
"No, Jimin", Yoongi interrupts, his free hand coming up to cover Jimin's. "I get it, I do, you have nothing to apologize for. I just – I need to say something, okay? Please, please listen…"
There's a strong determination on Yoongi's face now when he looks Jimin in the eye, Yoongi's hand folding around his to squeeze it tightly.
"I…"
There's a big inhale, and then Yoongi speaks fast as he says: "I know you might not believe me, but I need to say this. I didn't cheat. I know it looked that way, and I'm so, so sorry it looked that way. I – she –"
Yoongi swallows audibly, the look he throws Jimin filled with fear, before he quickly speaks on: "She worked in my department and came to talk to me for a while at the party, and then – then she just kissed me at some point, and I know I should have directly pushed her away but I was so shocked, I just froze, and –"
There are tears steadily rolling over Yoongi's cheeks now, a sight that Jimin has never seen before. Yoongi had always been so strong, so stoic, doing his best to be open about his emotions but not often showing them; definitely never crying.
But he's crying now, silently, his grip on Jimin's hand tight as a vice as he whispers brokenly: "It was just the worst timing. It can't have been more than a few seconds that she kissed me before I snapped into action and pushed her away, but that must have been exactly the moment you walked in… I know that that sounds implausible, and that you have no reason to trust me anymore, but – but other people saw, they – they can tell you, and she was fired, and –"
Yoongi releases Jimin's hand only to wipe across his face. He looks so small, so defeated, with his shoulders hunched in and this tiny baby curled against his chest, and Jimin's chest aches.
"I'm so sorry, Jimin, I'm so, so sorry. I should have pushed her away directly, I should have tried harder to explain, I should have just cancelled the whole fucking trip to America, I –"
Jimin is moving before he knows it, leaning over Yoongi's body to cup both his cheeks, pressing their foreheads against each other.
He sounds just as choked up as he whispers: "Shh, shh, you did try. You tried so hard…"
Jimin's mind goes back to all the voicemails, the desperate knocks on his door, the letters, the way Yoongi's friends had tried to reach out. Jimin had been merciless though, ignoring everything and disappearing to Busan, only coming back after he knew that Yoongi must have left the country.
"I just didn't listen. I realised only later, but I think the pregnancy made me so much more emotional, so much more irrational. I – god, I was completely unreasonable, I only saw that later. I never gave you a chance… But by the time I realised that, you were already gone, and it had been your dream, and –"
He breaks off when Yoongi's hand cups the side of his head, Yoongi's eyes boring into his despite the tears still streaming over his face.
"Jimin, I'd never cheat on you. I loved you, I still love you; I'd never willingly jeopardise what we had. I regret what happened every day, I think of you every day, I –"
Yoongi is cut off when Jimin surges forwards, pressing their lips together. It's a spur of the moment decision and it's nothing more than a soft press of lips, both their lips wet from their own tears, but Jimin feels his heart soar anyway, sparks travelling down his spine. And so pulls back a second just to go in for another kiss, this one firmer, and then another, his hands holding Yoongi's face steady.
The broken whimper that he gets in response strengthens Jimin's resolve that his was the right way to go, that he does want to forgive Yoongi and give them another chance.
Sure, he'll still need way more time to process everything, they still have so much to work through, but he knows in his heart that Yoongi isn't lying, that it really was all just a ridiculous misunderstanding. Knows that for now they both just need comfort, need to feel the other's presence and touch to be able to finally calm down.
Jimin also has a running nose from crying though and they both laugh when he snorts inelegantly, Yoongi pressing one more soft kiss to his lips before leaning their foreheads against each other.
"I missed you. God, I missed you… And Yoojin, she's perfect, you did so well, so ridiculously well…"
Now Jimin is the one whimpering, those simple words increasing his desperation to be close to Yoongi tenfold, and he dives in for another kiss, only to accidentally jostle Yoojin in the process, causing her to wiggle and eject a string of disgruntled noises that Jimin knows are a precursor to full-on crying.
There's a soft laugh from Yoongi, the alpha carefully handing her over to Jimin as he teases: "I did all this work to keep her pliant and satisfied and you wake up and directly ruin my efforts, huh?"
It's not like Jimin can deny that he had really forgotten about her for a second so he feels his cheeks heat up as he cradles her against his chest, patting her softly on the back while rocking her to and fro, humming a soft tune, which is often the easiest way of getting her to settle again.
He only looks up at Yoongi again when Yoongi softly says: "You look good with her, so natural… I've been fumbling around the whole day, I'm surprised that she didn't start crying loud enough to wake you with how my inexperience must have annoyed her…"
"Well, I've had five months to practice, so…", Jimin replies with a soft smile. A bit more hesitant, he adds: "And… and maybe she recognized your scent as being her father's? I don't know how it works, I could imagine…"
It's a nice thought, that Yoojin would somehow instinctively recognize Yoongi despite his absence in her life until now, a thought that Yoongi clearly agrees with if his fond expression and soft "I hope so…" is anything to go by.
Then Jimin remembers their visit to the hospital last night though, and he smiles apologetically as he says: "Could also just be sheer exhaustion though… She was sick last night and I had to take her to the hospital; we barely slept at all… Which also explains my mental state this morning: I swear I'm normally not like that, it just – it was all a lot. And there was shit going on at work, and Taehyung and Jungkook are gone for a few days…"
He shyly looks up at Yoongi, making eye contact for a second before looking down at Yoojin again and speaking on, voice dropping down to almost a whisper: "I'm sorry for how I must have made you worry with how I called you, that – that wasn't the way I wanted it to go. I was planning on contacting you, I swear, but in a, you know, more controlled way. I just couldn't think straight anymore this morning, and I didn't know who else to call…"
He startles when Yoongi suddenly moves forwards, cupping one of Jimin's cheeks in his hand.
"Jimin, I'm so, so glad you called me. Seriously, I don't care that you made me worry or that you weren't able to explain things the way you had wanted to; I'm just so, so glad to be here…"
And Jimin lets his forehead rest against Yoongi's, closing his eyes for a second, as he shakily replies: "Yeah, yeah me too…"
He really means it: although it has all been incredibly dramatic and emotionally taxing, talking it out with Yoongi has already made Jimin feel ten times lighter, let alone how the evening might progress further.
That thought alone is enough to make all of Jimin's earlier cravings for closeness resurface, and he gives Yoongi a quick peck on his cheek before moving away.
"Give me a second, be right back".
Standing up, he properly focusses on Yoojin for a moment, fussing over her and checking if he thinks she needs anything, but he quickly finds out that she still just seems to be tired, which is perfect. It only takes a few minutes of walking through the room while soothing her for her to drift off again, and then he oh-so-carefully lowers her down into her crib, watching for a moment to ensure that she's really asleep.
Yoongi is watching him with the fondest expression when Jimin finally looks over, making Jimin's heart skip a few beats. There's still a part of him that can't believe that Yoongi is here, that he isn't angry or upset. And that he himself doesn't feel angry or upset.
He just feels relief.
Relief and a deep yearning, for having Yoongi close, for ensuring that he'll stay around, for having him back the way Jimin used to have him.
And so Jimin doesn't break eye contact as he makes his way over, crawling back onto the bed and straight into Yoongi's lap.
He feels out of breath just from the sheer intensity of the moment, from the way Yoongi is looking at him so openly, so clearly just as much in awe and love as Jimin is.
"Hi", he breathlessly says, bringing a shaky hand up to trace over Yoongi's face, from his eyebrow down to his cheek, to his jaw, around his ear and into his hair.
The small smile appearing on Yoongi's lips makes Jimin's heart only beat faster, as does the emotional "Hi" he gets back as Yoongi's hands carefully find their way to Jimin's hips, squeezing gently.
"So…", Jimin swallows heavily, "So we're okay now?"
He needs to know for sure, needs to hear Yoongi say it, and he breathes out in relief when Yoongi does indeed directly reply with urgency: "Yes. I want us to be. Fuck, I so badly want us to be…"
"Good", Jimin manages to mumble, "That's good", and then he closes the last bit of distance between them, pressing his lips to Yoongi's once more.
This time, it's more than just a soft kiss: there's an instant desperation to it, an urgency from both sides that makes Jimin's head spin.
It's all so familiar yet so new, so intensely overwhelming, and Jimin finds himself gasping into the kiss, whimpering as Yoongi's hands move across his back, pulling him closer, before they splay out around his waist in a way that reminds Jimin how big Yoongi's hands are, how he has always loved feeling so delicate in Yoongi's hold.
The mix of memories and desperate yearning is enough to have him tear up again, and he breaks the kiss to hide his face in Yoongi's neck instead, hands trembling as he pulls himself as close to Yoongi as possible.
"Missed you", he mumbles against Yoongi's skin, needing to reiterate it, needing Yoongi to understand how much he means it. "Missed you so much, love you so much –"
He breaks off with a whine, too overcome to talk on when Yoongi buries a hand in his hair and presses him even tighter into his embrace.
"Missed you too, lovely; god, I've been so fucking miserable without you… Spent a year just writing sad songs in a studio, wishing I was here instead. I should have been here instead, I'm sorry…"
Jimin would react to that but the next moment Yoongi is tentatively rubbing his nose against Jimin's neck, and he whines needily instead, tilting his head to the side in clear invitation.
Yoongi doesn't waste a second, and then there's just the rush of having Yoongi scent him, Jimin's skin tingling wherever Yoongi moves while the increase of Yoongi's pheromones in the air make him feel hazy with pleasure.
It's so good, feels so right, but it's also still not enough, not close enough, and Jimin clumsily pulls on Yoongi's shirt, trying to get to naked skin.
"Off, off, please…"
Luckily Yoongi directly moves to help him, and soon they have their shirts off, both gasping in pleasure at the first touch of their naked chests against each other.
Yoongi is so warm, his skin so smooth, that Jimin doesn't know where to touch first, frantically roaming both his hands and his lips across all the skin he can reach while Yoongi does the same, all while staying as close to each other as possible.
All the while, Yoongi keeps up a steady stream of praises, raspy murmurs of how good Jimin looks, how perfect he is, how badly he missed him, and it all just drives Jimin more desperate to the point of almost losing his mind.
It feels like the only way he can be satisfied is to mould Yoongi and his body together, to literally become one, and Jimin feels beside himself with need as he tugs and squeezes and whines.
"Please, Yoongi, please, please…"
A full-body shiver runs through him as Yoongi firmly cups his cheeks and kisses him deeply, only pulling back to whisper: "Shh, lovely, you'll wake Yoojin up… I've got you, I've got you…"
The next moment Yoongi is supporting him by his nape and lower back as he pushes him backwards onto the bed, hovering over him to once more kiss him deeply before shimmying down to press kisses all over his chest, down to the stretchmarks on his belly.
Jimin can only try to stifle his whimpers as well as possible, shivers wracking his body with each touch of Yoongi's lips against him and tears travelling down his cheeks from the sheer intensity of his emotions.
Yoongi's caresses feel amazing but it's still not what he needs, and he dares to whine just a bit louder, pulling on Yoongi's hair a bit, to try to guide him up again.
Yoongi has other plans though, and looks up at him for permission while hooking his fingers under Jimin's sweat pants, waiting for Jimin's shaky nod before pulling both his sweats and his underwear off in one go.
Yoongi's own clothes follow a second later, and then he's leaning back over Jimin, making Jimin's eyes roll back in his skull in pleasure as he kisses him filthily while grinding his whole body against his.
Jimin is trembling all over now, feeling completely at Yoongi's mercy. There's still the deep desperation clawing at him to get closer, closer, but he lacks the strength to do anything about it, can just make needy sounds as Yoongi presses kiss after kiss to his mouth, his cheeks, his neck, while completely blanketing him with his body.
He should have known how well Yoongi knows him though.
They'd been together for only two years before last year's drama, but in those two years they'd spent all their heats and ruts together, and Jimin's heats especially had always been intense, had always made him needy to the point of craving Yoongi everywhere at once: around him, in him.
It's of course a different situation now but it feels remarkably similar, and Yoongi must recognize it.
"Come on, lovely", he urges, pulling Jimin back up and into his lap.
Directly, Jimin curls around him like a koala, burying his nose in Yoongi's neck, and with one hand holding Jimin's head against him, Yoongi's other hand trails down towards his entrance.
"Yeah?", Yoongi softly asks, pausing just below Jimin's tailbone. It's a check that they wouldn't normally need, showing how careful Yoongi is being with him now, how there must still be insecurity left, and Jimin is therefore quick to reassure him, nodding fiercely while making another needy sound.
And then Jimin gasps, stifling his moan against Yoongi's skin, as Yoongi presses into him, directly reaching deep.
It feels so smooth, Jimin already slicked up enough to make the slide easy, and Yoongi therefore directly adds another finger, scissoring them to properly stretch him.
Jimin loves that Yoongi knows exactly what to do, exactly how to prep him quickly, and he finds himself undulating his hips against Yoongi, simultaneously rubbing his nose against Yoongi's neck to scent him softly, feeling almost as if in a trance.
Yoongi only takes a few moments to stretch him, and anticipation of what's to come rushes through Jimin when Yoongi carefully pulls his fingers back.
Jimin's whole body pulses with it, and he knows that his pupils must be blown wide when Yoongi pulls back to lean their foreheads together, their lips a hair's width apart, checking in once more before going further.
"Ready?"
Yoongi himself looks almost high too, with flushed cheeks, dark, dark eyes and his hair wild, and Jimin can only nod, feeling like he might burst if Yoongi doesn't get in him now.
The feeling of Yoongi sliding into him is indescribable. Jimin hadn't known that something could feel this intense outside of a heat, hadn't known that something could be so all-encompassing, so all-consuming.
All the worries and insecurities that had still been present in the back of his mind ever since Yoongi arrived fade away at once, and there's just sensation left. Just the feeling of Yoongi's heat inside of him, Yoongi's hands on him, Yoongi's scent around him.
It's almost as if they really are one, their bodies intertwined in the closest way possible, and Jimin slumps forward into Yoongi's embrace, completely overcome by the sensation.
None of his previous exes had ever understood this, but to Jimin having his lover in him like this and properly taking the time to feel it, to appreciate the connection, the intimacy of it, is something that might be even better than the actual sex.
Especially whenever he feels emotional and vulnerable, when he needs reassurance.
Yoongi had always understood it perfectly though, gave Jimin all the time he needed without making him feel like they needed to rush through things at all, and Jimin appreciates it even more fully now.
And so he feels his chest overflow with fondness, with love, as they just sit intertwined like that, Yoongi making soothing motions through Jimin's hair, down his back, to his ass and back up, while pressing soft kisses along the expanse of his neck.
Sometimes Yoongi's dick will twitch inside Jimin, sending a jolt of pleasure through Jimin's whole body that makes him writhe and gasp, which heightens the experience even more. It's a constant reminder that he actually has Yoongi in him, deep, deep inside his body, and that still feels nothing short of magical.
Soon, Jimin feels as if he's getting hypnotised, all sensations heightening and heightening until it feels like all nerves in his body are alight. Jimin has never taken psychedelic drugs before but he is sure it must feel something like this: like all your sensations pulse through you, merge together in a way that makes the rest of the world fade away.
There's nothing outside of Yoongi's hands on his skin anymore, of Yoongi throbbing inside of him, of the slight wetness of Yoongi's mouth leaving trails of heat across his skin. At some point, their lips find their way to each other, and Jimin gets even drunker on the taste of Yoongi's mouth, on the dizzying rhythm of their kisses.
And it's only when he feels like he'll literally combust with how intense everything is that he begs Yoongi once more, a breathless 'please' falling from his lips that he hopes Yoongi will know the meaning of.
Yoongi does, of course he does, and the next moment Jimin is gently laid down on his back again, Yoongi moving carefully to stay in him. Yoongi's left hand finds his to intertwine with it and press it into the mattress, Yoongi's right arm finds a place next to Jimin's head on the mattress to carry his weight, and then Yoongi moves.
It's not fast in any way, but it's deep, and that's exactly what Jimin needs.
He loves how he's completely caged in, loves the fluid movements of Yoongi's body as he thrusts deep, deep, deep and pulls back again, only to repeat. Loves how it's slow and steady enough that Jimin feels like he can sense the drag of Yoongi's cock against his inner walls with every single cell of him, every nerve lighting up and adding to the fire coursing through his veins.
It has him gasping with every thrust, completely forgetting to even close his mouth in between, his panting breaths sounding loud to his own ears. Not that Yoongi is quiet in any way: Jimin knows from experience that taking things slow for Jimin's sake drives Yoongi up the wall too, building his sensations up to heights that have him gasping for air as well.
Jimin loves it: it's so sexy how lost to pleasure Yoongi sounds, his low grunts and moans pressed against Jimin's skin where Yoongi is leaning his forehead against the side of Jimin's neck. Jimin can feel the way Yoongi's body shakes with the need for release, for going faster, but he doesn't speed up, just makes little wounded noises as he comes closer and closer to his orgasm.
Jimin knows Yoongi is really close when one hand suddenly moves down to hitch Jimin's leg up further, and then Jimin is left to stifle his overwhelmed whines against Yoongi's shoulder, biting down on it softly, as Yoongi changes the angle so that he hits Jimin's prostate spot-on with every thrust.
Just like that Jimin knows his orgasm is inescapable, his body teetering on the edge and drawn taut with sharp pleasure for several seconds before he snaps, throwing his head back against the mattress while his body convulses in Yoongi's hold.
It takes Yoongi only a few more strong thrusts to find his release too, his mouth claiming Jimin's just as his knot forms to keep them both from waking Yoojin up with their moans.
Jimin's mind is pleasantly empty as he just lies there, Yoongi's weight pressing him down into the mattress, while both of them fight to get their breathing under control again. His whole body is still tingling with the after-shocks of his orgasm, with the feeling of Yoongi being locked within him, and the only movement he manages is to bring one hand up to limply caress Yoongi's hair.
Wow.
It takes a few moments before Yoongi apparently gathers himself enough to move, but then he's kissing a trail of soft kisses from Jimin's collarbone to his cheek, ending up hovering just above Jimin's face with both elbows bracketing Jimin in.
"Hey…", he softly says, his tender expression making a lump grow in Jimin's throat. "Feeling okay?"
And somehow the lump only grows as Jimin nods. He feels so unguarded, so vulnerable, after what just happened between them, and he has trouble not looking away as he shakily whispers: "Yeah… Just – please just stay with me from now on; I don't want to lose you again, don't want to do this without you…"
Jimin is surprised to still have any tears left after how much he has cried today, but his vision is blurry by the end of the sentence, and he has to try his hardest not to break down in tears again.
A hand behind his nape carefully pulls him up to a seated position on Yoongi's lap though, and then Yoongi's hands are wiping away the few tears that escaped Jimin's eyes, after which Yoongi presses kisses to both his cheeks.
"Jimin-ah, I'm staying, I swear I'm staying… Fuck, I'd marry you tomorrow if I could, I don't ever want to be without you again either…"
Jimin barely has the time to process that before Yoongi suddenly sits up a bit straighter, cupping both sides of Jimin's face.
"You know what, fuck it; I know this is a completely inappropriate time to ask this but I don't give a fuck. Will you marry me?"
Jimin is pretty sure he's gaping at Yoongi like a fool.
"What?"
Yoongi sounds just as determined though as he repeats: "Marry me. I love you; I love both of you, and I want to be together with you both, properly, as a family. I want wake up next to you every morning and grow old together and go through all the good times and bad times together and all that sappy stuff. I want to marry you. So will you take me as your husband, lovely, lovely Park Jimin?"
"I –"
Jimin opens and closes his mouth a few times, completely speechless.
Is this actually happening?
"Are you serious?"
Yoongi must feel pretty confident in the situation because he only smiles broadly, kissing Jimin like he can't help himself before pulling back and saying: "Yes. I am. I know it's crazy but I don't care: I am".
And that's when it properly hits Jimin: Yoongi wants to marry him.
Actually marry him.
Holy shit.
He has no idea how they've arrived at this point after all the drama they've been through today, but he can't help himself, he feels his heart speeding up in excitement at this crazy plan.
Because he does love Yoongi, he does want him in his life as a partner, as a mate, as a husband. And it might be ridiculous to do this so soon after reuniting, but it's not like they're actually tying the knot now, they're just… They're just getting engaged.
The broad smile that's slowly growing on his face must already give him away because Yoongi only looks giddier, but Jimin says it out loud anyway: "Yes. Okay. This is completely insane, but let's do it. Holy shit".
They share a clumsy kiss, both of them grinning too widely for it to amount to anything proper, and Jimin is still feeling light-headed from giddiness and surprise when Yoongi says: "Excellent, because I was thinking: how long after giving birth are omegas generally fertile again? If you already got pregnant when we were using a condom, I'm not sure what the chances would be without one?"
For a moment the words don't properly register, Jimin still riding the high of having just gotten engaged, but then he runs through them once again in his head, and he feels his heart skip a beat in shock.
His eyes automatically drift downwards, where Yoongi and he are still attached.
Oops.
"Hey", Yoongi softly says, a hint of humour in his voice, "On the positive side: at least we now know for sure I'm going to be around for this one?"
That successfully breaks Jimin out of the bit of panic he had felt at the realisation, and he playfully punches Yoongi's shoulder.
"Yah!"
He's right though, and next to that Jimin knows that the chance of him getting pregnant at the moment actually is very small. He has only stopped breastfeeding a few weeks ago, it should be fine.
And even if he's pregnant again… Well, maybe that wouldn't exactly be the end of the world. He has done it before, and this time he would have Yoongi by his side. His soon-to-be husband.
That thought alone has him smiling again, and leans forward to properly embrace Yoongi, leaning his chin on Yoongi's shoulder and just letting everything sink in for a second.
It takes a minute or so for Yoongi to speak up, but then his voice is careful when he says: "Are you happy?"
It's cute that he even asks because Jimin is sure his scent radiates his contentedness at the moment, but he still hums happily in affirmation, before softly asking back: "And you?"
Yoongi's arms directly tighten around him, squeezing him while Yoongi plants a kiss to his neck, and Yoongi sounds overwhelmed as he whispers: "Yeah, couldn't be happier".
That evening finds them lying on the couch, Jimin cuddled up to Yoongi's side while Yoojin wriggles and babbles happily on Yoongi's chest.
They'd taken their time showering one by one, having a tasty meal that Yoongi had apparently prepared while Jimin slept, and feeding and changing Yoojin together. It feels like a taste of what their life together could be like, and Jimin has to say that he likes it. A lot.
That's why he's feeling properly giddy now, and he can't help but pull up Taehyung's contact in his phone.
Jimin:
So…
It takes a few minutes, but then a response appears, just a few question marks, and Jimin smiles broadly in anticipation.
Jimin:
I might be pregnant again…
TaeTae:
WHAT????
Jimin:
Oh, and I might also be getting married
TaeTae:
WHAT????? :O :O :O
Jimin's resulting giggles draw both Yoongi's and Yoojin's attention, both of them looking at him questioningly, which only makes him laugh harder.
He hadn't quite expected it this morning, but things really turned out pretty frigging great.