Chapter Text
There’s a couple of things—complicated things—of which Eren is sure of.
He’s sure that he’s not a good person, because his therapist says so. She doesn’t explicitly say the words: Eren, you’re fucked up. Eren, you shouldn’t have done that. His father, Grisha, isn’t paying her to say that kind of stuff, and he’s pretty sure that’s outside the realm of acceptable things to say to a patient. But he knows that’s what she thinks every time she gives him one of those sad stares when he gets off her couch, heading toward the door at the end of their sessions.
Eren’s also sure that the monsters that go bump in the night, the same ones that used to keep him up while his parents slept, were no more than mere figments of his childlike imagination when compared to real humans. Curling his fingers into his comforter, feet kicking along his sheets and holding back whimpers in his throat, he once peered wearily into his cracked open closet. There seemed to be something in there. Something that wanted to eat him alive.
Only, it was just his big brother who’d been in there. Drunk from another one of those halloween parties his older, cooler friends threw. Friends he’d keep away from Eren, lest he infect them with his dorky disposition, embarrassing the teenager. He’d been wearing a spooky mask and jumped out of the darkness alongside Pieck to scare him, the girl he was dating at the time. Eren’s soon to be sister-in-law now.
Eren had jumped up in bed, about to scream at the top of his lungs, only for his mouth to be muffled by Zeke’s large palm. He learned that night too, that he could be quiet with enough persuasion. He’d been sat atop the kitchen counter soon after that, small legs thudding along the cabinets. Pieck coaxed him into a calmer state with a few candies she picked up from the party, wiping his tears with the collar of her school girl costume. Eren snacked on a Snickers bar, willing his tears to retreat back in his eyes. His older brother had simply rolled his eyes, rifling through dad’s cabinet for more liquor. He told Pieck she needed to stop babying Eren, because everyone did enough of that already. He had to get over his fear of the dark, of bullshit like monsters, and honestly, they’d just been doing Eren a favor pulling that prank. Now he knew he had no monsters to be afraid of anymore.
Another thing that Eren grows sure of, is that stepping on a crack in the sidewalk on his way home from the school won’t actually hurt his mother, Carla. He reaches the age of ten when he finally learns that lesson. Fright seized his body like a tight fist clamped around a bug, smearing its wings. Zeke pushed him before he knew what was happening. He landed on a crack splintering the otherwise smooth pavement on his hands and knees and cried. But then Zeke lifted him up in his strong arms, promising him that it’ll all be okay. That mom will be fine by the time they get home. And she was, just like big brother said she’d be.
Eren knows that, by the time he’s made friends his freshman year of high school, he’s experienced things that most of his classmates haven’t yet. He also learns that makes him powerful in a way, and he exploits this power. It was only by becoming strong, fearless and eager, that he could defeat monsters after all.
But at age sixteen, Eren meets Levi Ackerman and everything he’s sure of seems to melt away into nothingness.
“You’re supposed to struggle at least a little bit, Eren. It’s supposed to hurt. I thought you said you’re a virgin?”
Levi’s older. He’s a college kid, all smart and suave and cool-like. He wears all black, keeps his hair styled with a buzz cut beneath feathery black strands that Eren likes to run his fingers through while they makeout. He always smiles like he knows something funny the rest of the world doesn’t, a joke the rest of them haven’t caught up to yet. He does shit like smoke weed, joint hanging from the corner of his lips, fiddling with his lighter while he chats with friends by the lake. That’s how Eren found him tonight, leaning against the side of his sleek black car. He’d stopped by the bonfire with Mikasa and Armin in tow, catching Levi’s eye when he bent over to grab a beer from the cooler.
That's also how Eren finds himself on his back, with Levi between his spread thighs as he fingers him on the leather seats in the back of his car. His shorts are dangling off of one ankle, black panties down his legs. Eren wore those because he knew he wanted to get fucked tonight.
“You don’t take my fingers like a virgin.” he chuckles, spreading the digits inside of Eren. Levi’s voice is husky and smooth. Eren likes it a lot. “Was that just a lie too, like you saying that you’re eighteen?”
“I never said I was eighteen,” Eren breathes out, wiggling his hips to take those long, skilled fingers deeper. He stifled a moan with a bite to his bottom lip when Levi crooks his fingers, licks his ear and bites the cartilage.
“Maybe,” Levi allows, pulling back a bit in the cramped car to shove his jeans down “but Eld doesn’t invite kids to his parties. You wouldn’t be able to get past the gate unless you lied to someone.”
“Do I seem like a kid to you, Levi?” Eren asks, tilting his head back to peer up at the man beneath his long lashes. He blinks back at him, a small smile on his lips that only grows once he feels the heavy weight of Levi’s dick on his inner thigh. Yes, thank fuck. He’s not pussying out.
“Shit, hold on.” Levi grunts, leaning over suddenly to reach for his center console. His arm is toned and muscular beside Eren’s head. He presses a kiss to his bicep, nuzzles into it. Levi opens the console and pulls out a condom, the plastic shining faintly in the pale moonlight drifting along their bodies. Eren takes the allotted time to stroke the both of them off, hips wiggling impatiently for the climax to this whole journey of his.
Mikasa and Armin are probably pissed, waiting for him. They were supposed to be leaving about thirty minutes ago. But then Eren saw that Levi was about to leave for the night and he couldn’t have that, no. Eye candy like him around town was few and far between.
Levi retrieved another packet of lube and started to pour it onto his dick once he got a condom on. He put just enough to slicken his long, girthy size, before pressing his fingers back to Eren’s entrance and running his fingers around his rim. He was about to pour more, but then Eren snatched the packet away. Levi looked down at him, confusion knitting his brows together. Eren rested a leg on his shoulder, shoving the packet in an empty Big Gulp cup.
“I like when it hurts a little.” is all he says. Levi’s lips curled in a smile, shaking his head in disbelief.
“You’re right Eren. Nothing about you seems childish at all.”
Levi takes his word for it and sinks into Eren’s body with rapt precision. As in, he gets his cockhead inside and doesn’t stop drawing forward until his hips bones are flush with Eren’s perky ass. It wretches a broken gasp from between Eren’s lips. He throws a hand back behind him, smearing the steamy window with a wet palm. It hurts, but it hurts so good that Eren can’t find it in himself to protest. Levi’s invading all his senses: his fresh cologne wafts off of him from where their chests are pressed together, and his grunts are in Eren’s ear as he starts a steady rhythm. He punches a moan out of Eren as he parts his walls with that huge dick of his and the car rocks with their frenzied movements.
Eren wraps his legs around Levi’s hips, as well as his arms, and holds on tight. Levi’s fingers dig into his thighs as he fucks him, undoubtedly leaving bruises, and it’s bordering on the edge of possessiveness that Eren is such a slut for. He likes it when it feels like whoever’s fucking him can’t get enough, can’t fuck him hard enough to get their point across. The point being that Eren’s body feels like sin and no amount of prayer for forgiveness can get them to stay away.
“You feel so fucking good,” Levi groans. Unable to stand Eren’s pants and moans in his ear anymore, he lifts his chin with a strong grip and licks into Eren’s mouth. “Quiet, sweetheart.” he says when he pulls away, watching a blush run up Eren’s neck and face. “Unless you want my friends to hear me fucking your brains out.”
“L-let them hear,” Eren sighs out, his hips moving on their own accord to meet Levi’s thrusts. “They’re not the ones fucking me, are they?”
“God, you have a mouth on you. I’m gonna have to stuff it shut one of these days.” Levi huffs out, holding onto Eren’s jaw as he pistons into him. Eren’s eyes practically roll into the back of his head. Levi’s so big that he hits his sweet spot without even trying.
“I’ll give you my number when we’re finished.” Eren promises, eager to take the man up on his offer.
When Levi cums, it’s with his mouth pressed against Eren’s and his hand wrapped around the younger’s cock, milking him for all he’s worth. Eren clenches around him, desperate for the warmth that comes with his cum filling the condom. When he’s filled, Levi’s cock kicking inside his stretched walls, that’s when he cums. His brain has been hardwired to orgasm that way by this point and he prefers no other way to reach his climax.
Levi sits up when they’re done, shoving his dick back into his boxers while Eren awkwardly maneuvers his body around until he’s sitting beside him.
“I didn’t expect to get my dick wet tonight. Can’t say I mind, though.” Levi huffs, thoroughly exhausted from their heated tryst. He pushes his wet hair off his forehead once he’s tucked himself away, throwing his head back onto the head rest.
“You knew what your plans were the moment I saw you, don’t lie.” Eren laughs, pulling his shorts back up and zipping them. When he’s finished, turning around to find where his phone fell, he sees Levi eyeing him quietly where he sits, blissed out with a grin on his lips.
“It’s right here.” he says after a moment, pulling out the device where he put it away in the cup holder.
“Thanks,” Eren says, reaching to grab it only for Levi to take it back, lifting it over his head.
“You owe me your number, remember? I wasn’t joking earlier.”
“Okay.” Eren laughs softly, charmed. “Neither was I. I have somewhere to be though, so I’d appreciate it if you just, like, got on with it.”
“You gotta get home before mommy and daddy wake up and realize their innocent son is not tucked into bed, huh?” Levi laughed, passing Eren the phone to unlock it. Eren rolls his eyes, passing the phone back once he gets to his contacts.
“You couldn’t be more wrong about that. My old man’s on a work trip until next week and my mom’s visiting my aunt.”
Eren watches as Levi types his number in, the screen illuminating his sharp features. He’s handsome, knows how to fuck too. He can picture Levi picking him up in this car, taking him out to eat at one of the restaurants in town. Maybe he even opens the door for him, gives him a hand to walk out of the car. It’s too bad Eren’s claimed by someone else, though. Someone who Levi would undoubtedly judge him for craving most times he was awake, morning, afternoon and night. No—he’d think Eren’s gross, he’s sure. And he’d have a right to think that.
It’s okay. He’s something to take the boy’s mind off of…other matters.
Levi passes him back his phone when he’s done. They share a small moment where neither of them say anything, and Eren’s about to lean in and steal another one of those kisses, when there’s suddenly a hand beating against the window.
They jolt apart, with Levi’s face immediately hardening as he glares out the window.
“Eren!”
It’s Mikasa. She’s beating against the window with a frantic look in her eyes.
“Hit my fucking window again and see what I’ll do to you.” Levi yells. Pissed off, all remnants of his post-orgasm bliss gone now, he leans over to pull the lever on the seat in front of them. Levi drives a black coupe, and the only way for Eren to get out is through the passenger side doors in the front. “Tell that shithead she has something coming if she fucks with my car again.” Levi says as Eren ambles around his body.
“Mika, I’m coming.” Eren says the moment the door’s thrown open.
Eren stumbles out of the car, slipping his converse back on just as a car drives up behind him. The sound of gravel scuffling, as well as a car engine revving loudly pierces the quiet night air. Headlights illuminate Eren’s body before the car stops. Most of the people from the bonfire party have left already and the people who are still around, are far removed from where Levi parked his car.
Eren turns his head, looking over his shoulder and lifts a hand to prevent going blind from the bright lights. Immediately, he feels his stomach plummet.
Fuck, oh no. Oh God, this is not happening right now.
Panic fills his body as Zeke steps out of his car, shutting the door behind him.
“Mikasa, Armin. Get in the car.” Zeke calls out. Eren turns his head and watches over the hood of Levi’s coupe as his friends rush over to the SUV, sending him worried glances before they disappear inside.
Then it’s just him and Zeke. Eren’s eyes close, shame eating him from the inside out as he hears Levi get out of the car from behind him, joining the two of them outside. Fuck. This was the worst case scenario for how tonight could’ve played out.
“You mind telling me what the fuck is going on here?” Zeke demands. He’s wearing a white dress shirt rolled up his forearms and black slacks, polished oxfords growing dirtier the longer he stood in the gravel. Eren knows that means he was at work before coming over.
“Are you his old man or something?” Levi asks, pulling a joint out from inside his jeans and lighting up. Eren stiffens where he stands beside Levi as Zeke nears them. His blue eyes are livid, thick brows pulled together. He’d be breathing out fire right now if it was possible.
“No, I’m not his old man.”
“Then I don’t think I owe you an explanation for shit.” Levi laughed, smoke curling around his face. He pulls the joint out from between his lips after a lengthy inhale, passing it to Eren. Zeke smacks the rolled paper before it can reach his brother.
“Eren, get in the car.”
“Zeke—”
“You already fucked up enough." He says with a sneer, staring daggers through Eren's wide eyes that pierce through him and leave him reeling. Zeke's eyes drag along his body, taking in his state of disarray, messy hair, swollen lips and hand prints blooming on his thighs. He drags his eyes back up Eren's form to settle him with a glare. "Unless you really want me to get mad, unless you want me to make a scene, get in the goddamn car!” he shouts.
Eren doesn’t need to be told twice. He walks away from Levi’s side without another word and makes his way to the car. He sits in the passenger seat where he knows Zeke would want him to be, and he doesn’t make a sound as he pulls his seatbelt on.
“Eren, I tried texting you to let you know it was getting too late. But you didn’t respond.” Mikasa says, worried her friend would be getting in trouble with his parents. It’s a funny thought. If only she knew the truth of the matter.
“He was too busy getting a fuck in to pay his phone any mind.” Armin shook his head, crossing his arms. “Eren brought this on himself.”
“He’s right, Mika. Don’t worry about it. Sorry for dragging you guys through this mess.”
“No, he’s not right!” Eren hears the faint sound of a thump, and then a groan. He turns around and catches sight of Armin rubbing his shoulder. It pulls a weak smile onto his lips. “Friends look out for each other. Armin’s just pissed because his stomach hurts.”
“I never drank that much before and my head is spinning. Why do you like alcohol so much, Eren? This sucks so bad.”
Their discussion is cut off when Zeke enters the car again. Eren turns around, eyeing his brother as he puts the car in reverse and starts pulling out of the gravel. When the front of his SUV turns to head toward the exit, Eren looks out the window to see Levi still standing there, staring at him through the window.
“Don’t look at him.” Zeke spits out, eyeing Eren with disdain in his face. “You’re unbelievable, you know that? Fucking disgusting, finding you out here whoring yourself out with an audience around. Do you have no shame?”
“Not particularly.” Eren says, knowing it’d piss him off. But Mikasa and Armin are in the back seat so Zeke can’t handle him the way he’d like to. Eren knows this, and he revels in the small bit of peace he’s allotted before they eventually end up being the only two in the car.
The rest of the drive is tense, with Eren staring out the window and Mikasa and Armin doing whatever the hell they’re doing in the back seat. Zeke keeps an iron-clad grip on the steering wheel, his jaw tight, city traffic flashing by in his glasses.
The longer they sit in silence, the more the guilt starts to sink in and claw away at Eren. His friends don’t know, but Eren and Zeke know why he put this little show on tonight. He didn’t mean to get caught, he truly didn’t, but he’s been…greedy lately.
He hasn’t been getting enough attention. It’s just like his older brother said: Eren is spoiled. Spoiled rotten, down to the core. Perhaps no one knows this just as intimately as he does, and that’s why he can’t even find it in himself to be upset at the lengths Zeke is inevitably going to take to prove this point.
Seeing as Armin’s parents both have sticks up their asses the size of flagpoles, he can’t go home tonight being as drunk as he is. So Zeke drops him off at Mikasa’s house for the night. It’s something that Eren feels even more idiotic over. Here he was, hoping he’d have at least an hour to relax in the car with Zeke having to drop both of them off, when in reality the drive would only be forty minutes with less destinations to reach now.
Eren watches as Mikasa drags Armin into her home with an arm beneath his, toward the front door. They wait until the two of them are locked safely inside before Zeke peels away from the curb.
Eren’s phone pings with a notification from Mikasa:
Hope your parents won’t be too pissed once ur bro rats u out.
Before Eren can answer, Zeke grabs his phone and clicks it off, shoving it in his pocket. Eren stares at him, stunned.
“Texting that guy already, aren’t you?” Zeke asks.
“No, I was just—”
“Shut the fuck up, Eren!” Zeke snaps, turning his head to glare at his brother. “Did you forget I have your location on, you idiot? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“I wanted to get fucked, Zeke. Is that what you want to hear? That I was aching, absolutely desperate to have sex?”
A harsh slap rings through the car. Eren gasps, holding onto his cheek.
“You’re disgusting. You have a world of pain coming your way tonight and it’s going to be all your fault. Don’t forget that, Eren. It’s always your fault.”
“What’d you tell Pieck this time, hm? That they called you into the office late?” Eren asks, licking his split lip as he turns his head back around, trying to ignore the ache in his neck.
“That’s not what this is about. This is about you, disobeying me and leaving the house when I told you not to. Carla and Grisha asked me to watch over you, and you ignored both them and me with this little stunt of yours.”
“As if you care about what mom and dad have to say. This is about us, not them. You know that.”
The car slows to a stop before the gates to the Yeager residence. Zeke doesn’t bother giving Eren a response, punching in the code before the gates open and they’re driving again. He pulls into the long driveway toward the mansion and they wait in silence before the garage doors open.
For some reason, it’s only when the garage door closes behind them and they’re home that it hits Eren. It hits him full force, the weight of his mistake. Anxiety starts to build up and his heart beats fast in his chest. He remains seated in the car as Zeke gets out and slams the car door shut behind him. Soon after, he opens the passenger side door and leans over Eren’s form.
Zeke is big. He’s full of refined muscle and strength from his years playing baseball and maintaining his physique in the gym. His large form looms over Eren, painting a shadow over his skinner body where he sits in the car.
“Get out or I'll drag you out.” he says, his eyes piercing.
Eren sits still, his lips firming as his heart hammers in his chest. The shame, the guilt, and the embarrassment floods his body.
“I didn’t mean for you to find out, Zeke.” his voice shakes. “It was a mistake, I promise.”
“Get out of the car.”
“Please, I’m sorry—”
Zeke leans over and unbuckles the seatbelt, grabbing Eren’s arm and tugging him out of the vehicle with minimal effort. The minute Eren’s out of the car, he’s hoisted into Zeke’s arms and thrown over his shoulder. Zeke keeps a strong arm around his legs, shutting the door and making his way toward the entrance.
“Zeke,” Eren starts, turning his head to look over his big brother’s shoulder. He can barely move, restrained like this. “Zeke, talk to me.”
Zeke doesn’t talk to him. He heads into the house and goes about shutting each light off in each room. There are many rooms in the house, so the process takes some time. All the while, Eren squirms in his hold, shifting his thighs in an attempt to loosen that firm grip. It hurts, how tightly Zeke holds onto him. But it’s also achingly familiar. Having enough of it, Zeke’s hand, which practically envelopes Eren’s thigh in its hold, grips tight enough to bruise. His free hand slaps Eren’s ass with a loud smack, forcing him still. Eren's hips stutter against his chest before he finally goes limp.
“Shut your mouth. You don’t have a right to act all scared and innocent now. You pushed me this far.You did this!” His voice is firm, angry and filled with resolution. Eren knows it means trouble for him.
Zeke makes his way toward the stairs, Eren’s body jumping with each step the man takes toward his bedroom.
Eren whines, shifting his thighs in an attempt to loosen his grip as they arrive in the hall. He reaches an arm back, his hand meeting the man’s jaw to rub his beard in a coaxing manner, trying to get him to calm down at least a little.
“Please, I’m sorry.” Eren whispers, his eyes watering against the man’s broad back.
Zeke tugs his arm away, discarding it to the side with little care. Eren sniffles, knowing his attempts to talk the man down are for naught. Nothing he can do will make this right.
The minute they arrive in Zeke’s bedroom, the man slams the door shut, locks it. He throws Eren down on the bed.
“Strip. I want to see where that bastard’s hands have been. I want to see the filth he’s left on what’s mine.”
Eren does as he says, sniffling as he sits up in the middle of the bed.
It’s as Zeke says. He knows he has a long night ahead of him, as well as pain. It's a familiar pain that a part of him aches for, despite how disgusted he is with himself for wanting it. But he brought this upon himself, assuming that he could get away with what he’d done with how busy Zeke’s been as of late.
No one knows better than Eren does, however, that his older brother would always make time for him…especially if it meant his punishment was due.