Chapter Text
She could still feel the ghostly imprints of her lightsabers on her belt, reaching for them by habit, only to grasp at empty air. Her chest felt like it hollowed out some more every time, but she knew it had been for the best to leave them behind. The galaxy had to believe Ahsoka Tano died on that planet alongside many of the clones. Alongside Rex. They had parted ways to be as inconspicuous as possible. She couldn’t help him finding his brothers without drawing too much attention to both of them. Still, it would have been nice to have a friendly face around. Her fingers tightened on the controls of her ship, tears stubbornly clinging to the corners of her eyes, but she wouldn’t let them fall. She refused to cry. It would solve nothing.
Her bond with Master Plo Koon had snapped violently while she had been on the run with the droids and Rex’s unconscious body. An open, aching wound that still bled if she concentrated on it. He had been the one to find her and they had shared a bond since then. A father and friend when she needed one. He had basically raised her since he had brought her to the Order. Always warm and welcoming and never without a kind word for her and everyone else. It was unfathomable to her that he was gone. Before she had become Anakin’s Padawan, she had hoped he would be her Master. Her steps had faltered, and she had almost dropped to her knees, but the droids had urged her on. She had swallowed her grief and grimly moved on.
After that she had hesitantly, once Rex and her had escaped certain death, prodded at the crippled Force bond she had shared with Anakin. Since she had left the Order, she had blocked it resolutely. All her bonds, she had shared. She knew if she had left them open, she would have caved and returned to the Jedi. That’s not what the Force had wanted for her. A hollow emptiness had answered her. Cold and impenetrable. She had quickly blocked it again. She had shuddered. Was that what death felt like?
She hadn’t dared to reach for Obi-Wan.
Despite the risks she had tried to find Padmé knowing that if her Master was alive, he would surely be with her. Their relationship only a secret for the blind. To her utter shock she only found more death. Padmé Amidala had died. Her friend and someone she would have even considered an older sister gone. The how and why were unclear but she couldn’t possibly leave without at least paying her last respects. Rex would have been horrified if he had known that she had made her way to Naboo and stayed there for the funeral. Her grief had suffocated her. It was a surprise she hadn’t been caught. Still, she had managed to keep her tears in. She had been a statue in the crowd, stone-faced and immovable.
She was all alone now.
Ahsoka released a shaky breath after she had set down her ship on the small spot of dirt that was functioning as a spaceport on the planet she chosen to hide on. She would have to get rid of it. Just as she had, if reluctantly, disposed of her blue combat clothes with the Mandalorian stylings. It had been an honor to receive such a gift from them. The guilt was hard to shake once the light weave armor had left her hands. She opted to wear her mechanic jumpsuit instead. For a moment she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, crossed her legs, and rested her hands on her knees. She let the Force flow through herself.
As always immersing herself in the Force like this brought her some serenity at least for a short while. Slowly, she started to reach out. She could sense the two workers at the spaceport curiously inspecting her ship and the disturbed ground where the droids trotted after them.
Reaching out further, she felt the people busy in the small town, the excitement and raunchiness of the cantina, the heated temperaments at the market, the desperation of the desolate and the thirst of violence in the bounty hunters picking up their next mission. She could feel the cracks in the ground, lava bubbling just shy of the surface, spreading its heat across the surface. The rivers of magma across the planet felt like veins, pumping live and death at the same time. Some creatures lurked across the dusty plains waiting for their next victim, whether humanoid or otherwise.
When she reached past the planet, she could feel the disturbed harmony of the universe, cloying deep darkness suffocating her, and no matter how much she tried, she could feel no one else. Where once they were a few thousand strong force presences reassuringly hovering at the edge of her senses, now only emptiness answered her. The crushing loneliness of that feeling forced her to pull back her senses. The pain of the feeling almost unbearable. No matter how much she hoped that one day someone will be there, there never was. They were all dead. Ahsoka clenched her fists on her knees. Why was it that she survived when they didn’t?
She shook her head and slapped her fists on her knees once. Ahsoka had to stop thinking about that. It led her nowhere. She pushed open the cockpit hatch and got up from the pilot seat, making her way down the ladder worked into the side of the hull. The two dock workers were waiting for her, datapads in hand. They looked up when she came down.
“That’ll be a docking fee of 300 credits every month, gal, if you want to keep the ship here.” One of them said, yellow teeth smiling at her.
Ahsoka nodded thoughtfully. “Do you know someone who would be in the business of buying a new ship?”
The two dock workers looked at each other. It was time to sever the last connection she had to her former life.
“And you happen to look for a new mechanic.” She said calmly, waving her hand in front of their faces.
Their features went slack for a moment, and they murmured. “We happen to look for a new mechanic.”
Ahsoka’s features brightened, the smile not reaching her eyes. “Great! I happen to be a mechanic. I can start tomorrow.”
The dock workers looked confused at each other and nodded. “Yes…that’s good?”
She clapped her hands together. “Sooo, who might be looking to buy a ship?”