Work Text:
The Halloween special was a smashing success. So much so, in fact, that in addition to the post-production celebrations, the entire studio had gathered together to coordinate a Halloween party.
The entire studio sans Joey, that is, but what the fun hating old fuck didn't know wouldn't kill him.
Everyone from every department had agreed to arrive in costume, because Joey couldn't fire them all at once. At the very least, he could only yell at them all at once. But even so, such a light punishment would require the majority of them to be in costume to get away with it.
So Thursday the 31st came and the employees trickled into the building in their spooky attire, others sneaking their way into the bathrooms to change into costume.
Thomas came out of one such bathroom sporting a tail, mask, and much more hair than he had walked in with in his attempt at a werewolf costume.
"Looking good, Connor!" One of the Gent workers called, wearing a simple sheet with eyeholes cut out.
"Hey you take that off when you're working, I'm not filling out any injury reports today!" Thomas replied.
"Don't sweat it boss, I know what I'm doing—" The loud resonating BONG of a skull hitting a pipe cut off his sentence. Thomas sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Tommy there ya are! Can you do me a fave and pass some of these out for me?"
"How many times have I told you not to call me—what the fuck are you wearing."
Wally Franks stood before him in his full 5'6 glory, dressed to the nines in seifuku complete with cat ears and a fluffy, fluffy tail.
"I'm a cat! The ears were on sale for a ten pack, now help me pass them out." He reached out a hand full of headbands.
"Get that shit out of my face, where did you even get a skirt that short?"
"I know a guy," he grinned. "If you're not gonna help me terrorize people I'm gonna go bug Sammy."
"Godspeed you bastard."
In the music department, Sammy was leading the orchestra through a playing of "In the Hall of the Mountain King", conducting in grand sweeping gestures. He stood an elegant figure, hair tied back in a braid and cloak trailing over a dark vest and poet shirt, tight pants tucked into knee high riding boots. Pointed fangs poked out from his lips, completing the vampire costume (and also showing that he wasn't just Goth and flaunting it for a day).
Wally arrived right at the climax, peeping in through the door. The music was so loud it masked his entry, and he crept up behind Sammy on the podium. As the final notes played, Wally reached up and popped a headband on Sammy.
The man jumped about six feet in the air screaming in A minor. He turned to drop kick his assailant and was only stopped by the subdued giggles of the orchestra and the weight of something on his head. He felt. He grabbed. He plucked, and observed what had been so sneakily stuck in his hair. He looked to Wally.
"I suppose you think you're funny, do you?"
"I think I'm hilarious."
"Don't you have work to do, somewhere I'm not?"
"I'm trying to get rid of these headbands," Wally ignored him.
"I hardly see how that's my problem."
"If you take one I'll go away~~."
"Ughhhhhhh fine." Sammy took one, handing it behind his back to the first chair violinist.
Wally did a vertical split and scampered out of the department.
"Now since you all thought that was so funny, we can do some more work! Everybody get out the sheet music I gave you for the main theme."
Wally rode the elevator down to the lower levels where there were certain to be some other workers to bother. He cut through Heavenly Toys, and ran into a familiar face.
"Wallace my boy! What the actual fuck are you wearing?" Shawn asked. He was dressed like a green plumber, complete with moustache. The game he was from would not come out for another 37 years, but who's keeping track? Time is a bowl of spaghetti and we're all looking for a fork.
"They tried to put me on the cover of Vogue," Wally kicked a leg up on the shelf. "BUT MY LEGS WERE TOO LOOOOONG—AAAAAAAAAGH!!" The rotating shelves moved and took his ankle with it, sending him careening to the floor.
"Ssssssssssssssmokiiiiiiiiiin'." Shawn returned to his sewing.
"Would you like a pair of cat ears Shawn?"
"You bet your ass I want a pair of cat ears."
Shawn bent his head forward. Wally gracefully took a knee and placed the headband delicately on his head like he was crowning a new king.
"Fuck yeah."
"Fuck yeah dude."
"You should go give some to uh, Grant, he doesn't have a costume."
Wally's eyes widened. The perfect opportunity to create chaos and spread the blessings of felinity.
Footsteps.
Pounding footsteps.
Grant looked up. Was someone running?
They were getting closer, and louder.
The door flew off its hinges and Grant jumped about a foot in the air. He may have screamed a little bit, and if he did we're not judging him. Wally, having kicked the door open, jumped on the desk, brandishing cat ears.
"WOE. CATBOY BE UPON YE."
Grant rolled his chair away from the scene.
"Wally, what the hell?!"
Wally thrust the cat ears towards his head. He ducked. Wally adjusted his angle. Grant blocked his arms with his own arms. Now they were pseudo karate chopping/blocking each other's arms and swinging at each other in a cat fight.
"What are you doing?" each word was punctuated by a chop/block.
"You don't have a costume! You need a costume!"
"I don't celebrate Halloween, it's not— it isn't—it's not kosher! Look, I wore my good tie though."
Wally stopped swatting at him.
"That is acceptable. You have been spared." He hopped off the desk. Buddy chose that exact moment to walk in with some paperwork. Wally saw he too was not in costume and darted for the boy's legs, clinging like a small child to them. Buddy froze.
"Buddy, you too? Do you have a religious thing with Halloween?" Wally moaned. Grant rolled his eyes in the background. Buddy blinked.
"Uh…yes? I wore my good shirt for the party though."
"That's fair."
"So anyway," Buddy stepped one leg out from his grasp, dragging the leg that still had a Wally attached to it. "Abby asked me to give these to you, and, Wally, you might wanna hide, Joey was on his way to the upper levels." He handed the papers to Grant.
"OH FUCK." Wally parkoured over the desk and underneath it, pulling Grant's chair over like a shield (nevermind that Grant was still in the chair and had to pull his legs up to keep from kicking the catboy). He had an immediate change of heart and popped his head back out.
"Wait a minute. We convened together! We should get yelled at together! Seeya boys, I've got a bossman to face!"
Wally pushed Grant's chair back out of the way and marched out of the office, fluffy tail swaying with his steps.
It was the girls who had been caught. Namely, Susie and Allison. In their defense, they hadn't seen Joey go into the office across the hall from them, and so they thought they were safe. Wally just so happened to pass through that hallway and see Joey chewing out a downtrodden Susie angel, halo drooping, and her witchy counterpart, until they looked up and saw him.
"for it, we have a strict dress code of—" Joey happened to look over at that moment. His entire face fell, like he was about to go from a bad time to You're Gonna Have A Bad Time, all the Bad Times, mixed together in the blender from hell.
"Walter Franks what the fuck are you wearing."
"Now look here Joseph!" Wally ignored the question. "If you punish them ya gots to punish everybody! We worked hard for this, we all came together and held a potluck in the break room, and we're all in costume! You can't fire us all Mistah No Fun Allowed!"
"...Are you wearing a tail?"
"I am indeed! It's very soft. Wanna pet it?" He took the tail in his hands.
"I do not want to pet your tail. That is…that is the last thing I want to do."
"I wanna pet your tail." Susie said.
"You can absolutely pet my tail."
Susie petted his tail lovingly.
"Wally take that off right now, this is embarrassing to look at." Joey rubbed his temples.
"Well if you insist!" Wally kicked up a leg against the wall and began rolling his knee high sock down seductively.
"Not like—!! Oh my god…" Joey rolled his eyes to the ceiling. Allison was cackling at this point.
"God is a cat and we have been called to worship him." Wally held out a cat ear headband. "Join me, brother." Joey looked at the headband in defeat.
"This is a nightmare. I'm in a nightmare right now, and on the count of three I'm going to wake up."
Wally crowned him with cat ears to the squeals and applause of the girls. Joey looked about as miserable as a soggy wet rat.
"All you need is whiskers and a nose!" Susie pulled out her eyeliner.
"Get away from me, all of you." Joey hissed. "I'm going back to my office, and I'm not coming out until five. If anyone needs me the furries better be gone."
"Furries?" Susie asked, puzzled.
"See there's a fine distinction there," Wally started. "I'm a catboy, which is one step down from a full blown furry on the spectrum."
"The spectrum of what?"
"The spectrum of deez nuts." Allison replied.
"Against my better judgement, what the fuck is a catboy?" Joey asked.
"It's a catboy! Y'know, like, nya." Wally curled his hands into paws. Joey blinked.
"Don't ever nya at me again."
"Meow." Wally dropped his voice as low as it would go.
"This conversation is stupid, I'm leaving, goodbye." Joey walked away, finally.
"Byeeeeeeeeee!" Wally called.
The trio dispersed, whether they would actually get any work done, who knows, Wally still hadn't gotten rid of any of his headbands.