Chapter Text
Shez was concerned.
Dimitri seemed to have everything he needed to be a successful King. He discovered the forces behind his family’s murder, and they were now hunting them down. He united his Kingdom under his rule and forced out any opposition. Life was returning to Duscur under Dedue’s leadership. Felix embraced his role as his Shield and watched out for him. Sylvain gave up skirt chasing and was giving his all as a general. Ingrid sought her own path as his loyal knight. They formed a successful alliance with Claude and Leicester, and the war against the Empire now tipped in their favor. Shez took her ragtag forces and turned them into a disciplined army, loyal to their King.
So why was Dimitri so freaking miserable all the time?
The answer finally came as Shez walked around their camp. She turned a corner and caught Sylvain kissing Ingrid. She squeaked and ran away. Next, she saw Dedue and Mercedes making flower crowns for the children. They smiled radiantly at one another. It finally hit her when she overheard grouchy Felix stuttering out an invite to Annette for the opera.
Dimitri needed a girlfriend.
But who? Shez had never tried to set up anyone before. She could invite Dimitri and one special person to lunch. Yes, this would be perfect. But who? Who would be an intriguing dinner companion for Dimitri? It was then that she saw Flayn heading to pray in the chapel. Flayn was desperate to be around people too! It was perfect. And Seteth couldn’t complain because he didn’t have the authority to stop the King of Faerghus from eating with his precious sister. The two would definitely hit it off.
She asked Flayn to supper in the dining tent, and Flayn enthusiastically agreed. Flayn even offered to cook the entire meal. “I’ve always wanted to try my hand at sweet and salty fish sauté,” she said. “Brother never lets me cook.”
Dimitri also agreed to sit down for a meal with them. Flayn was so proud of her cooking and Dimitri seemed to enjoy eating it. Now that the meal was served and the conversation was going well, she could enact the next part of her plan. The boy she paid off earlier delivered her a message saying that there was a squabble in the battalion tent that they needed her to mediate. She did her best acting to feign disappointment and left Dimitri and Flayn to enjoy their meal. As she walked away seeing their contented faces, she congratulated herself for being able to read people so well.
Then Seteth blocked her path, “What do you think you are doing?”
She had prepared for this scenario. She raised her head, squared her shoulders, and stated, “I know you think you’re being a good big brother. But Flayn deserves to date, and Dimitri deserves a bit of happiness. Look at them. Aren’t they cute?”
Seteth gasped, “You set Flayn up on a date?”
Shez cocked her head sideways, “Well, yeah. Wait, why are you mad at me if you didn’t think it was a date?”
Seteth pinched the bridge of his nose, “Your egregious attempt at matchmaking aside, that is not why I am upset. You let Flayn cook for His Highness. Do you know what you have done?”
Shez shook her head, “No, Flayn said that you don’t allow her to cook. You should let her try things, Seteth. She needs to live her life.”
“It is for everyone’s safety that I do not allow her to cook. Flayn’s cooking is horrendous. I do not know how she manages to burn meat on the outside but keep it completely raw inside. His Highness is far too kind to tell her. It is already too late for him. He has eaten half of it. He will finish that meal out of politeness, and then something horrible will befall him,” Seteth explained.
Shez crossed her arms, “I don’t think you give Flayn or Dimitri enough credit.”
Seteth pointed to a nearby bucket, “You might as well keep that near His Highness tonight. He is going to need it.”
Seteth wasn’t wrong. Shez found Dimitri heaving that night outside his tent. She held his hair back as he wretched, “Dimitri, what happened?”
He was chilling from a cold sweat, “I don’t know. The only thing I had today was the meal with Flayn. It had a few suspiciously crunchy bits but seemed otherwise fine.”
“Did it taste off to you?’ Shez asked.
Dimitri grabbed his stomach, “Shez, I have to tell you something. I haven’t been able to taste food since Duscur. No matter what I eat, I can scarcely taste it.”
No wonder he barely ate and when he did, it was just a few favorite things from his childhood. Dimitri’s life was even sadder than she thought. She rubbed his back, “Well, maybe next time you and Flayn do something, it doesn’t have to be centered around food. You could take her on an expedition.”
Dimitri shook his head, “She’s very nice, but Seteth has been glaring at me all day. I can’t deal with the Church’s anger while fighting the Empire. Thank you for staying with me tonight, friend. I think I’m going to try to lie down.”
He patted Shez on the shoulder and staggered back into his tent.
So, this was going to be harder than she thought. She could figure this out. Dimitri trained constantly. Surely a sparring partner would be much better than a dining companion. It wouldn’t remind him of his lack of taste. But who would be strong enough to match a Blaiddyd? She mentally went through the crested women in the camp. Thunderstrike Cassandra, of course! They even seemed to know each other from childhood, so it would be adorable. Plus, Shez was in charge of setting up training partners. This would be too easy.
Dimitri and Catherine laughed when they saw they were partners, and Shez thought this was a good sign. It wasn’t until she saw a Mercedes with an entire battalion of healers running to the Training Grounds that she thought something was amiss. She ran after them and saw Felix and Shamir standing grimly outside the ring. “What happened?”
“Idiots + crest + relics is what happened,” Felix snapped.
“They started with training weapons, but Catherine kept upping the ante, so they switched to their relics,” Shamir explained.
“On the plus side, they did more damage to the training grounds than to each other,” Felix sighed.
Shez pushed through the healers to see Dimitri in the middle of apologizing to Catherine. Her arm was limp at her side, but she was laughing. “Don’t be sorry, Your Highness. This is the most fun I’ve had training in a while.”
“So, you two would like to train together again?” Shez asked.
“Oh my, no,” Dimitri said. “I can’t let my strength get out of control like that again. I’ll just go back to training alone.”
Dimitri walked away, looking sad. Catherine shrugged, “He’s too hard on himself. But he’s also probably right. We get too carried away together. Best to train with other people.”
Mercedes healed Catherine’s broken arm, and Shamir took her hand and helped her up. Shez needed another strategy. Dimitri needed somewhere quiet to connect with someone. He loved long horse rides. Who else, besides Ingrid, would love horses as he did? She went to the stables and noticed dear sweet Marianne tending to her beloved Dorte. Perfect. It took a lot of coaxing, but she managed to convince the quiet girl to go on an expedition with Dimitri. As they rode off slowly together, Shez thought that this would surely work out.
Shez saw them return and tried to position herself casually leaning against the fence so it wouldn’t look like she had been waiting for them the entire time. They both seemed content on their return. She watched as Dimitri helped her dismount. “Thank you, Dimitri. I had a wonderful time,” she quietly said.
A wonderful time! Shez could barely contain herself. As soon as Marianne was gone, she strutted up to Dimitri. “So, looks like you two had fun,” she teased.
Dimitri shook his head, “I’m not sure I would call it fun. But it was beneficial. We talked about why we’re both so sad all the time. Did you know Marianne thinks she’s cursed? Anyway, after our talk, she finally feels like she can tell Ignatz how she feels about him.”
Shez’s eyes nearly popped out of her head, “Wait, what?” was all she stammered out.
Dimitri chuckled, “Marianne has had feelings for Ignatz for quite some time, but she thought she was cursed to be unhappy. We talked about how she is definitely not cursed, and now she feels confident enough to tell him her true feelings. A very nice ending, I must say.”
He walked away, leaving Shez stunned and confused.
Late that night, Shez sneaked down to the riverbank to think and regroup. She slipped her boots off and let her feet dangle in the cool water. How could she have misread each situation so badly? And who else was left in this camp that wouldn’t be a total disaster for Dimitri?
“Is this where you come to think of ways to screw up His Highness?” a voice from behind asked.
She turned to see Sylvain plop down next to her. “I don’t know what you mean,” she replied.
Sylvain laughed, “Oh I think you do. You’re trying to get Dimitri laid. I respect the plan but let’s recount your success rate. First, you poisoned him with Flayn’s cooking – something that could have been prevented if you had simply checked with Dedue first. Next, you let His Highness and Catherine go nuts while training, and he broke Catherine’s arm and slinked off to feel ashamed of his strength. This also could have been prevented if you had simply asked around because everyone, except you apparently, could have told you that Shamir and Catherine have been together for years. Also, Dimitri and Thunderstrike Cassandra have been destroying training grounds since they were kids. Their dads had to closely supervise them every time they sparred. And third, you got him to help Marianne realize that she had feelings for Ignatz – something everyone again knew about, and you would have known about it too if you had bothered to ask for help instead of blundering your way through Dimitri’s love life.”
Shez hung her head, “I guess I haven’t been very subtle.”
Sylvain shrugged, “Eh, Dimitri didn’t hire you for your finesse. But you need someone who excels in the art of romance to help you in this project.”
Shez laughed, “You’re right. I’ll ask Lorenz to help me first thing in the morning.”
Sylvain grabbed his chest, “Ouch. Hurtful. Come on, please let me in on this plan. You know how hard I’ve been trying to be useful during the war and this is my area of expertise! Besides, I want to see Dimitri be happy, too.”
“Okay, okay,” Shez laughed. “Who do you think we should set him up with next?”
Sylvain lay down and looked up to the sky, “It’s not an easy question. Dimitri’s only gotten close to a girl once, and he gave her a dagger. So awkward.”
Shez flopped backward to lie down as well, “A dagger is very practical!”
“You would think a weapon is a perfect gift,” Sylvain huffed. “But let’s think. She should be kind.”
“Obviously.”
“- And Beautiful.”
Shez raised an eyebrow, “Dimitri wouldn’t care about looks.”
Sylvain sighed, “Fine. She needs to possess a lot of inner beauty. She also needs to be strong enough to handle the crest of Blaiddyd. I hate to say it, but she would probably need a crest of her own.”
“So, we need to find someone kind, beautiful, strong, and possibly crested that isn’t already involved with someone?” Shez asked.
“That’s the thing,” Sylvain replied. “I don’t think she’s in this camp. I don’t think we’ve met her yet.”
“Well, I’m glad I let you into this project just so you could tell me Dimitri’s girlfriend doesn’t exist,” Shez huffed.
Sylvain smiled, “I didn’t say she didn’t exist. Just that we haven’t met. That’s what I’m here for – I’ll know the right one when I see her. Then you can weave your scheduling powers to make sure they’re always together. It can’t fail.”
Shez nodded but didn’t feel very confident that the magical right person for Dimitri was just going to appear any time soon.