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Wunder has tangled his arms around his waist and refused to let him go.
Despite the disappointment haunting their hearts, now beating up at the same pace by the resonance of being so near each other, his toplaner is hugging him as if he is everything he has left on Earth.
They’re out.
Worlds for them are finished.
They won’t play together anymore for this year - it’s over.
Iván can’t see the Dane’s face, yet he is sure it is mirroring his own.
Wrinkles of regret around their eyes forming an intricate pattern of suffering, lips contracted in a fine line, huffs of breath exiting just barely their clenched throats.
“Are you… Are you crying too, uh?” The Spaniard asks, sniffling as he curls up so that his smaller frame is completely incorporated in Wunder’s larger one.
“Just… Don’t leave.” A sob escaping the Dane’s lips stabs the jungler right in his chest, leaving him breathless.
The Spaniard tries to wiggle in their hug, twisting on Wunder’s bed, to try to dry the other’s tears.
Wunder doesn’t let him.
The toplaner hides his face in Iván’s nape, pleading in the softest tone: “No. Let’s stay like that. Please.”
Iván nods.
After all, he is the first one not so happy to be seen by his lover so exposed, wrecked, destroyed.
And so they stay like that.
Hands tangled over Iván’s tummy, their breaths shaking less and less as they waste all the water in their bodies crying.
Together.
At least they have that.
They’re together.
At some point, they must have fallen asleep, worn out by the spiraling of emotions.
Iván wakes up, and everything around him is even darker than inside him. It’s time for him to actually leave and go back to his room - they’re not allowed to share spaces more than necessary, mostly due to Covid.
The jungler starts fidgeting and struggling to get up - not with very convinced attempts, to be honest.
“No… Don’t leave. Please.”
The Spaniard’s eyes filled with tears again.
He has never witnessed this version of Wunder.
The Dane is so fragile, Iván is actually afraid he is about to shatter in a million pieces, never able to come back to what he used to be.
The jungler doesn’t know what to do, nor what to say.
He gives up on getting up for now, though.
“We can’t…”
“I don’t care. Please. I will say it’s my fault.”
And there it is. The menace of the team management.
The thing that can separate them forever, never letting them play on the same team again.
Iván doesn’t want to think about it now. He is too sad already, he really can’t process it too.
He just wants to be Wunder’s jungler forever.
And who actually cares about the Rift?
But it’s there.
It’s on Wunder’s unspoken words, inside the sentence he has just murmured.
“I will tank this for you. I will say it’s my fault. If necessary, I will sacrifice myself for you to stay in the team.”
It’s funny, because Iván won’t ever let him do that.
Meanwhile, he is coming to terms with the fact that his toplaner simply won’t let go for him tonight.
It doesn’t matter anymore.
If they discover them, the jungler is going to scream in their faces to let them at least have each other.
So he adjusts to Wunder's body behind him, always happy to be Wunder’s little spoon.
“Ok, you won.”
“Ah - and yet we lost three times today.”
Iván shuts his eyes.
“O-Ohi!” The Spaniard sobs, his tears flowing again.
Fuck, if it hurts.
“No, babe - I am sorry…”
Iván shakes his head.
He just wants to say that Wunder at least has won him for the rest of his life.
Yet, words can’t come out his mouth, because there’s something stuck in his throat.
“Sorry…”
The jungler knows Wunder is saying sorry for so many reasons at the same time.
“I am sorry, too.”
They don’t waste their precious little time left to be together trying to debate who has to be more sorry for what happened, luckily.
Both of them understand it’s useless.
So, his smaller figure cradled by the Dane, with Wunder’s scent and body heat, his demons begin to be chased away from him.
Though, after some time, the Spaniard develops a problem.
Wunder is hot.
And not hot as sexy , that's obvious and Iván has never really stopped drooling and thirsting for him, no.
Wunder's a radiator.
The jungler actually starts thinking he can die from overheating in the toplaner’s arms.
He begins to sweat and pant. He really can use some space.
So the Spaniard tries to wiggle out his toplaner's grip.
But Wunder simply has none of it, tightening the grip over him.
“No… Please, I said I am sorry, please…”
The jungler is not sure what is really happening in Wunder’s mind.
Iván is afraid there might be something he doesn’t know making the toplaner feeling so miserable.
Misinterpreting his silence, Wunder keeps begging him.
“Don’t leave me. Please. Not you too…”
Iván’s whole soul hurts, making him gasping, overwhelmed by the other’s words.
Because Wunder never speaks about his past relationships, yet the Spaniard had guessed a long time ago someone must have broken his toplaner’s heart.
His main suspicions fall on Caps and Jankos.
There were gossips about the toplaner being ditched by the ex teammates he was sharing a three-people relationship with after the G2 disastrous 2021 season.
However, it doesn’t seem like the right time to investigate that.
"Wunderbear," Iván tries using Wunder’s favorite nickname (the Dane won’t ever admit it, but the jungler knows better), "I am not leaving. I promise. It's just too hot. I am sticky, it's disgusting -"
A groan. Wunder dives his head in the jungler's neck even more, so much his nose tickles his nape.
"Come on big boy -" Iván whines, but he can’t help but smile. It’s such a comical situation to find himself in after having missed the opportunity to go to Quarterfinals.
" Mine ." Wunder replies, pulling Razork towards him and basically engulfing him in his strong embrace.
The jungler shrieks, taken aback by Wunder’s possessiveness.
He loves it, though.
"Fine! Let me at least remove my shirt - and do the same!" Iván orders, giggling at Wunder’s determination to never let him go again.
He knows why the Dane is so attached.
It might be their last night as teammates.
Wunder lifts just one arm from him, keeping the one behind the Spaniard's body perfectly still.
Iván rolls his eyes as he removes his shirt, remaining only in his boxers.
"Your turn!" The jungler looks at his toplaner, turning to him slightly.
Wunder only lifts his arm a little more, staring at him provocatively, a clear sign of him wanting the jungler to undress him.
Iván sighs heavily but really - he can't help but giggle as he gets rid of Wunder's shirt.
The Spaniard tries to not focus on how drained out and sad the toplaner’s face still is.
Because he has almost forgotten how all of this has even started, his soul vibrating with Wunder’s one as usual, as nothing major has happened.
Now the Dane is smiling at least a little too.
However, this moment is something completely different than everything else they’ve shared before.
It feels more… intimate.
Presently, they just are two bare souls trying to complement each other.
Wunder clenches his arms on him again, forcing him to turn again in his little spoon position.
"Martin -" Iván protests, "I am so sweat, it’s, ugh-"
"I don't care." Wunder states, his forehead pressed on Iván's nape.
The jungler sighs again, scoffing his head. But he is actually giggling.
"Sleep now, superstar."
“Ok. I won’t go anywhere. You know that, right?”
Wunder tightens his arms around him even more, crossing his legs over Iván's, humming.
That’s when the jungler almost tells him.
“Hey, bro, I think I love you.” Iván murmurs those words to the walls of his room.
No one answers him.
Because he is alone in his room in his family house, back home, and there’s no one sharing the burning failure with him anymore.
Iván rolls over his bed, kicking his blankets, frustrated and tired of the thoughts overcrowding his head.
Three days have passed since Fnatic have ended their journey at Worlds, and the sadness has just only begun to shade.
But it’s not their heartbreaking World's end that haunts Iván’s siesta attempt, no.
Or, better, he is for sure still not recovered entirely from it, but the problem is that he now is missing the medicine to break the depressive, self-indulgent and desolated circle he is spiraling in.
The jungler sighs as regrets start to fill his mind again, leaving him melancholic and needy.
Because he hasn’t spoken the fateful three words in all the months he and Wunder have been together, even after they’ve stopped having occasional sex togheter and become a couple, so now Iván is in a mourning phase.
How could he have been so blind?
Not seeing time was rushing off, not realizing they had a deadline for risking being in different workplaces for the rest of their lives, not having the gut to just come clean with all his feelings, once for all.
The Spaniard actually knows why.
It’s because love in the LoL Esport scene is quite always impermanent.
One season, two splits, one year, and then time’s over.
Different teams, becoming rivals and spending less and less together break couples.
And Iván had promised himself to not fall too hard for Wunder exactly because of that.
But he has failed, and miserably, too.
Although he has accepted it, he hasn’t made his chance to tell Wunder that he thinks they should spend their lives together.
In a quiet country house with a giant courtyard full of cats, no internet connection to distract them and only the two of them within miles.
Oh, and some children screaming with joy as they chase each other around that country house.
Blonde hair and hazel eyes little boys and brown hair and blue eyes little girls.
The jungler really had imagined all of that, without even having the courage to say “I love you”.
Iván feels pathetic, really but it’s just that he hasn’t found the right time to say how much he is in love.
It hasn’t feel right after having made it out of playins; nor for his birthday, after they had tangled their souls so badly he couldn’t distinguish where his ended and Wunder’s started; not the morning after their journey ended, before catching different airplanes to different countries, officially entering the part of the season he has feared the most, because nothing can say if they will be ever on the same team anymore.
“I am just a fool.” The Spaniard speaks to himself again.
He has spent all the three past days missing the Dane, from when he had waved him goodbye with a tiny smile over his lips, to when he had checked his phone after his continental flight, not finding even a tiny message from his toplaner on it, until now, when he is just feels lonely than ever, stretching his arms over his bed as if Wunder could appear there, ready to hug Iván again.
Their last goodbye is still hurting because instead of being the affectionate, devoted and loving speech Iván had wanted to give Wunder in a while, it was a quick hug in the airport, with two little pats over their shoulders, with all their teammates around.
So they didn’t have what Iván was wishing for: the right time.
The jungler takes his phone from the cupboard next to him, hoping to find a text from Wunder.
It has to be said, he has tried to write to him so many times already, but everytime it just felt not the right moment, the right words, the right approach.
Iván hates himself for having let the two of them wake up on their last morning very late on the team schedule, so that the jungler had to rush to his room to pack in a hurry, leaving Wunder with a small kiss on the lips.
It was their last kiss, and if he only had known back then…
Iván unlocks his phone, opening Wunder’s chat.
Nothing.
The last message is still from Thursday night.
Number 1 Foquita, ju - 08.20pm
Where are you?
You’re late to make us qualificate to Quarters.
Fuck.
It hurts so much.
Especially because Wunder is not with him anymore, ready to tell him that it doesn’t matter, that everything will be fine and that they will still find a way to continue what they’ve started being together.
And, at the same time, Iván can’t ask Wunder to tell all of those things to him.
Now, staring at Wunder’s chat, the Spaniard can only see in the back of his eyes all the texts he has written and then deleted before pressing send.
Tú, sá - 04.45pm
I miss you already.
Tú, sá - 07.45pm
I hope you had a good way back home.
Tú, sá - 08.17pm
Why don't we go on a holiday together?
Tú, sá - 11.34pm
Fuck, it hurts. Worlds hurt. Everything hurts so much because you were always with me and I didn’t realise how lucky I was until you weren’t on my right side anymore and I didn’t have planned occasion to see you again and fuck I am so stupid because I could have told you all of this instead of fooling around, denying that sooner or later, offseason must have begun.
Tú, sá - 11.42pm
I hope you feel better than me. I feel miserable. I hope… I hope you know I didn’t want to leave you. Never.
I am not like them.
Tú, sá - 11.47pm
Fuck, why I haven’t just told you I love you and I didn’t want to stay away from?
Tú, sá - 11.59pm
Now everytime I am at my desk, you’re not on my side. So I rather lay in bed and cry on me.
Tú, do - 00.00am
You are my favorite foquita.
Tú, do - 00.03am
You turned me into a madly in love jungler.
Fuck you, bro.
I even don’t remember what life was like without you.
Tú, do - 11.23am
I checked it.
We’re 2.498 km apart.
25 hours by car.
Imagine having a driving license.
I can take a plane, of course.
But it would be extremely odd then because without you coming to the airport to pick me up it’s not as if I can find your house and knock on the door and say “Hey there! I am your boyfriend, the one that has stupidly let you go without speaking about his feelings! I am here to stay!”.
God, I hate myself so much.
Tú, do - 01.25pm
I’ve missed Syra a lot.
You would like her so much.
She would fall in love with you immediately.
I wish I’d ask you to come and meet her.
Iván sighs.
Again, as during that last night together, he doesn’t know what to do.
What to say, what to ask, what to explain.
The jungler feels hopeless.
He tries to write a couple of words on the chat, once again only to delete them immediately, throwing his phone over his mattress, groaning in frustration.
“Oi, oi , oi, oi, oi… What have you done to me, big boy?”
His phone’s vibrating startles him, and he jumps over it, eager to know if it’s Wunder texting him.
The answer is yes.
Iván’s gut twitches in anticipation as he unlocks his phone with trembling hands.
Number 1 Foquita, do - 04.18pm
Iván, can you stop writing and deleting texts? It’s so annoying!
The Spaniard huffs as he blushes red.
He has been discovered.
For a second, the jungler wants to close his phone and hide under his blankets to die alone in his embarrassment.
Then, he realizes that he has never sent any of the texts he has written.
So that means…
Tú, do - 04.19pm
Were you staring at your phone hoping to see one a notification from me popping off, Wunderbear?
Number 1 Foquita, do - 04.20pm
Shut up.
Iván bursts into laughter as relief, joy and comfort hit on him at the same time.
God, he has missed Wunder so much…
Tú, do - 04.20pm
I missed you a lot.
That’s it.
This time, the Spaniard has pressed send, Wunder’s vulnerability and manifestation of interest making him brave enough.
Number 1 Foquita, do - 04.20pm
Offseason sucks.
Iván keeps his breath, as he stares at his phone screen, showing Wunder is actually keeping typing.
Number 1 Foquita, do - 04.21pm
I missed you too.
The jungler’s lips stretch into a wide smile.
This is the confirmation he has to act and act quickly .
Tú, do - 04.22pm
Have you ever been to Madrid?
Number 1 Foquita, do - 04.22pm
Nope.
That’s a lie.
Iván knows pretty well the Dane has played 2019 Worlds Quarters and Semis in Madrid, because he was there cheering for him.
Even if Wunder didn’t know who Iván was at that time.
So he can’t help but smile even wider, until his cheeks are actually hurting, because he understands Wunder is letting Iván’s plan work.
The toplaner can read him as an open book.
Tú, do - 04.23pm
You should, you know?
Number 1 Foquita, do - 04.24pm
What’s there to see?
Tú, do - 04.24pm
Me.
🌍
"Buenas tardes damas y caballeros. Este es el anuncio de aterrizaje del vuelo IB 3731 de Copenhague. Los pasajeros deberían despegar en unos minutos …”*
The jungler is bouncing on his feet, incapable of containing his excitement.
Iván is finally going to have his right time.
He has practiced his love declaration so many times he knows it by heart now.
The Spaniard is determined to not let his or Wunder’s stupidity risk ruining what they have another time.
Iván puffs away his anxiety, shaking his hands and almost dropping on the floor the flowers he has brought as a gift to Wunder.
It still feels silly to have done something so cheesy like buying flowers for Wunder, but Iván couldn’t help it.
The jungler saw a cornflowers bouquet in the shop on the way to the airport.
He had thought the flowers were just the same shade of Wunder’s eyes.
And it could be because he was missing the Dane very desperately, or because the cornflowers were standing at the right side of some sunflowers. He simply just knew he couldn't fight the idea anymore.
So here he is, standing in front of the sliding doors of the Arrivals, shaking in anticipation, constantly moving back and forth, too excited to stop, passing the bouquet of cornflowers and sunflowers from one hand to the other.
Suddenly, he sees Wunder cross the doors, looking around, probably searching for him.
“MARTIN!” The jungler shouts, making sure half of the airport turns to look at him as he runs to his Dane and jumps over him.
“Iván…” The toplaner catches him, letting go of his suitcase to tangle his arms under the Spaniard’s butt, chuckling at the jungler’s eagerness.
Iván hugs him tightly, crossing his arms behind Wunder’s neck and burying his face in it.
“ Joder , I have missed you so much…”
“Same, babe, same…”
They stay like that for a whole minute, and Iván really has missed Wunder’s hugs dearly.
“I have to say something to you!” The jungler murmurs as the Dane settles him down, loosening their hug just enough to let Iván stand.
Wunder looks at him, taken aback by the Spaniard’s resolution.
“First of all, these are for you.” Iván offers Wunder the flowers he has bought for him.
The toplaner gasps and flushes red, taking them with big surprised eyes and an amazed expression brightening his face.
“Iván… Woah… They’re so beautiful… That’s so kind, you shouldn’t have…” Wunder is babbling, and he is so adorable that makes Razork almost forget what he is about to say to him.
“They’re you and me you know? I am the sunflowers and you are the cornflowers -” The jungler has to stop his words flow, because Wunder is looking at him with glossy eyes, gratitude depicted vividly in his outlines.
“What, no one has ever given you flowers before?” The Spaniard jokes, chuckling nervously. He hadn’t expected such a reaction from his toplaner.
But the Dane shakes his head in denial, still staring at the bouquet in awe, caressing a petal of a sunflower with so much delicacy Iván’s heart skips a beat.
“Oh… Well I will do it more often, then! If you… Well if you’d like it?” The jungler says, shyly, blushing as well.
Wunder nods, smiling cutely to Iván.
He is so soft the jungler’s heart skips a beat.
But the Spaniard knows it’s the right time when their eyes meet a second while smiling to each other.
“Wunder, listen…” Iván takes a deep breath, scratching the back of his head nervously, “I have planned to make you have a tour of the city, and especially I was planning a rowing boat trip in Parque del Retiro, because it is addressed on Google as one of the most romantic place in Madrid…”
Wunder snorts, shaking his head as he lets out a small: “What?”
“But,” Razork interrupts him, cupping the toplaner’s cheeks between his hands almost as if he needs to be sure the toplaner is really in front of him, “I am so afraid I will be lost in our great time together, and I will postpone this even further and I really should use the push of having been put in a situation in which it was impossible to say if we would have seen each other again for a long, long, long time…”
Iván’s eyes are glued to the two pieces of oceans that Wunder has in his orbits as he caresses softly the other’s cheeks.
“I am sorry, I am ranting. The point is…”
The jungler feels his stomach doing somersaults, and his heart beating furiously, and his breath stopping in his throat for a whole second, in which he can name every single blue shade Wunder’s eyes are painted with.
“I love you.”
Wunder’s smile, after that, it’s worth everything.
It’s so bright Iván might have lost the ability to see anything but it.
“Oh my God, you’re so cheesy.” Wunder rolls his eyes, his cheeks blushing even more.
Iván stares at him, repressing a laughter.
Because he knows the toplaner is actually as happy and relieved as he is, so it doesn't matter that he is trying to joke it off, Iván knows him well.
“I was so afraid I would have lost you without having the possibility to tell you this. I - I hated the way we said goodbye. I don’t want an ending for us…”
Martin coos as he smiles to Iván again.
“Me too, Iván. Me too. I am so sorry…”
“No, I am sorry…”
“No I am -” Wunder chuckles, shaking his head, soon reached by Iván as they let go of the sorry battle once again, “Whatever. Kiss me now, handsome.”
Iván shrieks happily, clapping his hands before tiptoeing to reach his boyfriend.
Their lips meet.
The whole world re-allings as they finally find each other again, it’s like they have held on for their breath until that exact moment, in which they’re sharing the same air again.
When they separate, Wunder presses his forehead to Iván’s.
“I have to say something to you too, babe.” The toplaner admits, sighing happily.
“Oh?” Iván tilts his head, wondering.
“I love you too.”
Maybe there's hope for that country house, after all.
*“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. This is the landing announcement for flight IB 3731 from Copenhagen. Passengers should take off in a few minutes…”
Cornflower flowers symbolize love and romantic anticipation.
Sunflowers symbolize unwavering faith and unconditional love.