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"They want us to do a Valentine's Day special. What do you think we should do? Chocolate?"
Andrew raises an eyebrow at Steven. "Don't you think that's a little cliche? I mean, I guess we could, it's not like there's a shortage of good chocolate to choose from. Ooh, how much budget do we have? Could we go to Belgium?"
"Oh man if we went to Belgium we could do pommes frites! What else do they have in Belgium? Brussels sprouts?"
"Beer," Adam says, from the other side of the table.
"Beer," Andrew agrees solemnly.
"Guys, Valentine's Day, focus." Steven claps his hands. "We're not doing beer for Valentine's Day."
"Wine tasting could work though."
"We're not a wine tasting kind of show! It's gotta be food , come on. Imagine you're going to take someone out for a perfect Valentine's Date, and you need to know where to go, so you're turning to your boys Steven and Andrew for some advice about how much to spend. What do you want to see?"
Andrew leans back in his chair, spinning his pen through his fingers. "Aphrodisiacs?"
Steven chokes on the bottle of water he's sipping from and Adam claps him on the back.
"It's not a bad idea," Adam says.
"Ro-man-tic!" Steven says. "Romantic! Not, not--"
"Steven, buddy, what's more romantic than--"
"No! Let's just do romantic dinners! Ambience! Table for two! Food that's perfectly sized for two people to share! Milkshakes with two straws! Fondue!"
Adam and Andrew both just look at Steven for a minute. Steven raises his eyebrows, nods his head, makes a yeah? yeah? kind of gesture.
"Also not a bad idea," Adam says eventually.
"Sure," Andrew agrees. "Let's go on some romantic dates."
*
"For this Valentine's Day special," Steven says, grinning at the camera as he walks backwards down the street, "we're going to be trying three different romantic dinners at three different price points, and letting you guys know which is the most worth it for its price. Andrew!! Are you ready for some romantic wining and dining?"
Andrew is always charmed by Steven's enthusiasm, and today is no exception. "Since we're starting with the restaurant I picked, yes, Steven, I am."
"Valentine's Day Fact!" Steven yells. "Did you know that Valentine's Day has its origins in a Pagan festival called Lupercalia, which was celebrated by sacrificing animals and smacking women with animal hides to encourage fertility?"
"This is a no-woman-smacking show, by the way, in case that needed to be said."
"Yes, absolutely, we are not smacking any women with animal hides or anything else! But my shoe is leather, I could smack you with it." Steven moves as if to take off his shoe, and Andrew starts to run.
*
"So, I know we try to have a full range of prices on the show," Andrew says, "but since we're going for romantic dinners, we have to spend a little bit more than usual. That's why our first restaurant is more in the two dollar sign range than the one dollar sign range."
"But it's at the beach!" Steven gestures broadly to the beach behind them. "Beach!"
"Yes, Steven, it's at the beach."
"What you guys don't know is that we each picked a place, and we didn't tell each other what they were in advance. So I get to be surprised today by Andrew's pick!"
"I will admit that I know you love the beach, and I maybe might have picked it because of that. But folks, if you have a significant other who loves the beach, it's definitely a good option for a Valentine's Day date!"
The restaurant is a tiny Thai cafe tucked away in a less-than-populous part of Malibu. They're seated on the patio, with a gorgeous view of the sunset. The food is great, and Andrew digs into the panang sea bass with gusto.
"Oh, man," Steven says when they're done, patting his belly. "I need a romantic walk on the beach to help digest all that food."
It's a beautiful night, and Adam says he wants to get some shots of them at the beach, so Andrew and Steven stroll down to the water and walk along the beach. Steven does take off his shoes and throw them at Andrew, who swats them away with more fondness than irritation as Steven rolls up his pants and splashes around in the surf. He looks like he's having a great time, and it makes Andrew smile.
*
"Yesterday, we had some amazing Thai beach food," Steven says, "but today we're going to go for something more classic. At least, I guess it's more classic if you're American, or European."
"What are we going to have, Steven?" Andrew prompts. They're in the car, and Steven had told him to dress business casual, so it has to be something a little more upscale.
"I'm going to tell you, but first, you know what's coming…"
"Valentine's Day Fact!" they say together.
"The first heart-shaped box of chocolates was introduced in 1861 by Richard Cadbury," Andrew reads off his phone. "He was the son of Cadbury founder John Cadbury, and he started packaging chocolates in fancy boxes to increase sales. Today, more than 36 million heart-shaped boxes of chocolates are sold each year."
"That's a lot of chocolate," Steven says. "And you're going to have some chocolate tonight, but not until dessert. It's a classic though, because we're going to have… Fondue! Isn't it more romantic when you're both dipping your bread into the same pot of cheese?"
"That sounds like some kind of euphemism, but somehow I don't think you meant it to." Andrew can't help grinning at the way the tips of Steven's ears go red, but Steven soldiers on.
"You're gonna dip so much bread," Steven says, "and then you're going to be so full, but you're going to eat the chocolate fondue anyway, because I know you love bread, cheese, and chocolate."
Andrew is charmed, but then, he's always charmed by Steven. "You know me so well," he says.
"Yes! But also who doesn't love bread, cheese, and chocolate? Don't answer that, just be happy I picked something I knew you'd like."
The restaurant is downtown, just off Melrose, and it's only been open for a few months. The interior is all dim lighting and velvet upholstery, the backs of the round booths high enough that once they sit down it's like they're the only people in the restaurant. They end up squeezing together in the far end so that Adam can sit at the edge to film them.
"Fondue cheers!" Steven says, holding up a skewer of bread dipped in the steaming pot of cheese on the table between them. Andrew touches his own bread to it, and when they pull them apart there's a string of cheese that takes a long moment to snap.
The meal is delicious, and Steven wasn't wrong -- eating fondue is a pretty intimate experience, especially the way this restaurant has it set up. They're sharing everything, and their hands keep touching when they put things into the pot. At one point during dessert Steven says, "Oh, you have to try this," holds out a piece of fruit dripping with chocolate in his fingers, and puts it straight into Andrew's mouth.
He can imagine coming here on a date.
He can imagine coming here on a date with Steven.
Then Steven says, "Adam, you gotta take a bite," and the moment is broken.
*
"So we've got something a little different tonight," Steven says from the back seat of the car. "You probably noticed I'm not driving. That's because Adam picked our final restaurant, and he hasn't told us anything about it!"
"Yeah, it's a surprise he hasn't blindfolded us, to be honest."
"Wherever it is, we're going to be on our own, because apparently this place is so romantic and intimate that they won't allow more than two people at a table!"
Andrew turns his handheld camera around to show Annie in the driver's seat. "That's why Annie's driving us -- Adam went ahead to set up the cameras and the microphone, and he's going to keep an eye on the feed from outside the restaurant."
"It'll be like one of those movies where they're trying to catch the bad guys and someone's wearing a wire and the cops are in an unmarked van watching on a little tiny screen!"
Steven beams at him, and Andrew tries hard not to smile back, but can't help it. "Yes, Steven, our expensive romantic dinner will be exactly like an episode of Law & Order."
"I hope it's not fancy enough that I was supposed to wear a suit like a lawyer."
"He would've told us if we needed to wear suits," Andrew says. They are dressed up, but Adam had said the place was 'casual elegant,' not 'jacket required.' Andrew had raided his closet for his best date night clothes, slim dark-wash jeans, classy loafers, and a button down with a soft sweater over the top. He thinks he looks pretty good, even if he couldn't quite tame his hair, but honestly Steven looks even better. He's wearing his dark blue button down with the little flowers on it, a jacket over it, and khakis that do him a lot of favors. It really works with the pink hair, which is artfully messy.
They've been driving for a while along winding canyon roads, and finally the car turns off on a side street and starts to slow down. Annie pulls up to the restaurant and a valet opens the door.
"Wow," Steven says, and Andrew can't help but agree. They enter the restaurant through an archway covered in flowering vines, and are taken through a charming garden to a gazebo covered in twinkle lights, just big enough to hold the table for two inside it. It's so romantic that it feels wrong to not be holding hands. Andrew is so caught up in how beautiful it is that it takes him a moment to find the cameras that Adam hid around the place.
The server welcomes them and they do a little bit of Q&A about the restaurant using Andrew's handheld camera, then they're left alone to peruse the menu and enjoy the ambience as the sun sets behind the trees. Their table is secluded, with the rest of the restaurant's garden seating obscured by trees and flowers and vines, which just makes it more intimate.
"Adam really outdid himself on the romantic vibes," Steven says. "Should we get champagne?"
"We should absolutely get champagne. We should get the most romantic champagne, the half bottle of rosé."
They do, in fact, end up getting the half bottle of rosé champagne, along with a plate of fresh oysters as an appetizer.
"I don't know which camera to look at," Steven laughs after they clink their glasses together. "I don't think we could fit Adam in here though."
"It's definitely a table for two. Oh hey, Valentine's Day Fact!" Andrew picks up one of the oysters and gestures with it. "Oysters have been considered an aphrodisiac since at least the days of the Roman Empire."
"Andrew!" Steve says, scandalized. "Are you trying to seduce me?" He's playing it up for the camera, but there's a kernel of truth there.
"Adam picked the restaurant," Andrew says with a shrug. Then, taking a breath, he stretches out one foot so his ankle is resting against Steven's. "Is it working?"
Steven rolls his eyes and doesn't answer, but he doesn't move his foot either.
The meal is delicious, from the oysters to the artisan cheese plate, the truffle risotto to the braised short ribs. With each dish they do their usual spiel for the cameras, but it gets harder and harder to remember the cameras are there. The sun has gone down all the way by the time they're finishing their entrees, the table lit by the twinkling strings of lights, the elegant chandelier, and the glow of candles.
Steven looks soft and warm, laughing at some joke Andrew has already forgotten, loose and easy with the wine and food. Their ankles are still touching.
They share a lemon tart for dessert, and Andrew watches the spoon disappear into Steven's mouth and relishes the happy sound from the back of Steven's throat. He's so absorbed in watching him he nearly forgets to try it himself. When they're done, he doesn't want to leave.
"Steven, that was the best Valentine's Day date I've ever had in my life," he says, nudging Steven's ankle.
"Yeah?" Steven raises his eyebrows, something hopeful in his face. "Was it the restaurant or the company?" He nudges Andrew back.
Andrew reaches out and catches Steven's hand in his own. "Both," he says. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, because it's ridiculous and cliché, but Steven? You're my Worth It winner."
Steven grins widely at him, laughing. They hold hands all the way back to the car.
*
Adam pulls the last camera out of the foliage, then sits down at the table with a sigh. He doesn't envy Annie having to drive those two idiots home while they're glowing with Valentine's Day glory, but at least he won't have to watch them mooning uselessly over each other anymore.
He sets up the camera to point at himself and takes a bite of the leftover lemon tart, letting the flavor wash over his tongue and a smile creep across his face.
Yeah, it was worth it.