Archive of Our Own

The day after Izuku developed Black Whip, Mina caught him in the dorms and tackled him. “Why didn’t you tell me, Midoriya?”

“T-tell you what?” Izuku gasped, the wind knocked out of him by her enthusiastic hug.

“That you’re an alien! Like me!” Mina squeezed harder. Izuku felt his spine creak.

Normally at this point Izuku would have laughed at the obvious prank, but he was too busy choking. His eyes rolled backward.

“Oops! I’m sorry!” Mina let go. “So you still need to breathe, huh? I just assumed that you were converting oxygen into carbon dioxide through your hair like me! I’m sure you’ll develop the ability when you get a little older. After all, you have such cool green hair. I love the curls, what conditioner do you use?”

After his rough middle school years, Izuku was so unused to compliments that he blushed and stammered every single time he received one. It completely knocked all thoughts of aliens from his brain. After two tries, he managed to thank her and give her the brand of his conditioner.

Mina slapped Izuku on the back. “Don’t worry about the humans. My parents know a guy who works for the quirk registry. We’ll make certain that your quirk gets updated to include those lovely new tentacles.”

“Ah, thank you?” Izuku said out of reflex. He was about to ask if she was joking when he noticed Black Whip had started to poke out of his shoulders again. “Sorry! I’m working on getting that under control.” He closed his eyes and concentrated, willing the tendrils away. Nothing happened.

Mina chuckled. “I get it. Puberty is rough when you’re hiding your true form. I can tell from those strong appendages and your eyes that you’re from the Andromeda Galaxy like me. Don’t tell me which planet, I want to guess. Oh! By the way! My parents want to meet you for dinner tomorrow. They’re very excited! We thought we were the only Andromedans in Musutafu.”

“Err…” Izuku said, but then Denki came down the hallway. Mina ran over to chat with her friend. With a wink, she positioned herself in front of Izuku’s body as Black Whip slowly retracted.

By the time Izuku got his quirk under control, Mina and Denki had left for the kitchen, laughing and talking.

Back in his room, Izuku analyzed the situation. He created three columns in his notebook for each possibility.

1. Mina was playing a prank.
2. Mina was a real alien.
3. Mina was…well…it wasn’t polite to call a friend delusional so he scribbled in very tiny handwriting “suffering from serious mental health issues.”

Izuku carefully wrote down the evidence in each column. On the prank side: Aliens aren’t real. On the alien side: No one knows if aliens exist or not. On the prank side: would a secret alien try to make her hero name “Alien Queen”? On the alien side: Mina totally would!

On the delusional side: Mina was too straightforward to keep up the prank for long. She probably would have burst out laughing before the end of their conversation. She’d seemed completely and utterly sincere.

Izuku paused, chewing on his eraser. Hero Society had unbelievably crappy mental health services. There was such an intense stigma that admitting to a mental health problem could ruin a hero’s career. Izuku couldn’t bear to hurt Mina by telling anyone about this. But if number three was possible, then he had to do something to help her.

Izuku’s phone buzzed. He’d received an automated text saying that his quirk registry had been updated to include a whip-like mutation. Izuku’s eyebrows rose. This was strong evidence against the delusional theory, and seemed a step too far for a prank. But Izuku still couldn’t quite believe in aliens. Yes, he lived in a world full of superpowers but that level of science fiction seemed a bit too farfetched.

Presumably Mina’s parents had updated his quirk registry, aliens or not. Izuku would have to go to dinner with the Ashidos if only to stop curiosity from eating him alive.

Mina knocked on Izuku’s dorm room door. She’d changed out of her school uniform into casual jeans with a Ripley T-shirt and a ballcap. She struck a pose. “Do you like my shirt? I collect Earth-related alien merch, though I try to tone it down at school so no one notices. I dunno why my instincts latched onto that particular obsession, except that the irony appealed to me. What do you collect?” She looked around his room. “Oh, silly me, clearly All Might merchandise is your Andromedan obsession!”

“Um, nice shirt,” Izuku said, mentally recording this bit of lore that aliens were collectors—even though he still didn’t believe in aliens.

Nearly bouncing up and down, Mina said, “My folks can’t wait to meet you. They make the best—” She looked around and lowered her voice. “—Andromedan starfruit soup. Your tentacles will feel refreshed after drinking it.”

If this was a prank, then Mina was committed to it. But surely her parents wouldn’t prank a teenager. What did she plan to happen when they met? Izuku would just have to come along in order to find out.

Wetting his lips, Izuku asked, “Where do your parents live? Are we taking the bus?”

Chuckling, Mina tugged him deeper into his room. “Nah, they never bothered to set up a local home. We have a transporter beam up to our spaceship.” She opened the window. “Good, there’s no one else around. Come on.”

Izuku stuck his head out the window, expecting that he would see a banner reading “April Fools” or something more seasonally appropriate on it.

Instead, a beam of light fastened onto Izuku. He screamed as he dissolved into particles.

When Izuku’s sneakers hit the metal floor, he immediately collapsed to his knees and stared down. He needed reassurance that there was still floor beneath his feet and that he still had knees.

Mina patted him on the back. “Sorry! I didn’t realize that you got transporter sick. I’ll fetch you something to drink.”

Bleary-eyed, Izuku stood up. He did not truly feel sick, just dizzy, and that had more to do with the disorientation of this strange place. Izuku stood in a shimmering white room shaped like a pentagon with a pointed ceiling. The metal seemed to almost glow. There was no visible door. The right side of the ceiling had a huge window letting in a view of the stars.

Oh sweet god, Izuku was actually on a spaceship. His chest heaved. He felt faint—and a bit excited.

Mina walked to the wall and knocked. A glowing circle materialized and flashed three times, then a canned green tea popped out of the wall and fell into her outstretched hands.

Even though his brain hadn’t finished processing this situation, Izuku still thought, That’s so cool.

Mina handed Izuku the tea. “Here you go!”

Izuku touched the metal can cautiously. It looked like normal green tea with planet Earth’s Itoen brand name on front. But he had no idea what it had been made from. What if it harmed his body, especially given that he was not actually an alien as she assumed?

Faking a smile, Izuku said, “Thank you, but I feel a little queasy. I’ll save it to drink after my stomach recovers.”

“I hope you feel better soon, because we’ve got a feast prepared.” Mina stretched her arms over her head. Shadowy pink tentacles sprang out of her shoulders. “Ahhh, it feels so good to get home and let the tentacles out.”

Very, very cool, Izuku thought.

As she glanced at Izuku, her pupils glowed golden. “You can bring out yours too.”

Izuku chuckled nervously. “Uh, I’m still working on controlling them.” This was true. Black Whip seemed to come out in response to his emotions but he’d yet to do it consciously.

Mina nodded. “It was the same way with me at first. You’ll get there, I promise.”

A square shape glowed in the back wall, then an open doorway appeared. A woman stepped through. Her familial resemblance to Mina was immediately obvious, from her pink skin and hair to her dark eyes with yellow pupils. Her horns were much larger, curving up like antlers. Tentacles wreathed her form and tiny golden lights danced under her skin. Izuku only noticed that she had six fingers because he’d been watching for differences. She wore a shimmering robe with thousands of strings of lights hanging down.

Mina gestured. “Mom, this is Izuku Midoriya. Midoriya, this is my egg-layer, but you can call her Mrs. Ashido.”

Izuku bowed. “Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Ashido. Thank you for having me. Also, thank you for fixing my quirk registry.”

Mrs. Ashido smiled, flashing a forked tongue. “The pleasure is all ours. It makes us feel so much better to know that our little Mina has a comrade from the same galaxy at school. You two can cover for each other.”

Izuku hesitated. “Uh, what are the consequences if a human finds out about…us?”

Mrs. Ashido laughed. “We’d have to kill them, of course!”

Sweat dripped down the back of Izuku’s shirt. He barely kept his horror off his face. Mina was such a nice person, he’d assumed that her family would be kind, friendly aliens. But Mina was smiling and nodding along. Izuku was screwed. He had to make it through this dinner without being discovered. Even if he could somehow fight them off, without their help, he had no idea how to get back to Earth. It dawned on him that he might die in this distant spaceship and his mother would never even get a body back.

Summoning up all of his limited acting ability, Izuku kept his voice steady. “A silly question, sorry. Of course you’d have to kill them. I’ve already killed half a dozen people to protect my secret.”

The Ashidos giggled, their tentacles waving in time with the sound. Mina said, “I like to kill them by implanting my eggs in their stomachs and watching the babies eat their way out.”

Black Whip shot out of Izuku’s back in response to his fear and fury. A fixed smile on his face, he tried to suppress it. “Sorry, I’m still learning to control them.” The whip shook in the air. The tea can crumpled in his hands.

“Hey, don’t forget to introduce me, too.” The man entering also had pink skin, but he was bald. Instead of horns, two tentacles grew from his forehead like antennae. His muscular body towered over everyone else. He wore loose genie pants and a glittery metal shirt.

Mina said, “Midoriya, this is my father. He goes by Mr. Ashido as long as we’re all using the universal translator.”

“What were you three laughing about?” Mr. Ashido asked.

Mina grinned. “We were just telling Izuku all about our evil plans to conquer Earth and enslave everyone.”

Mr. Ashido’s dark reddish tentacles shook in the air. He said, “I’ve been brushing up on my cooking skills so we have something to do with all the extra slaves. Tonight I’m serving up human brains in a stew of blood, flavored with dying screams.”

Izuku squeaked, “Oh, I’m allergic to human meat. What a shame! I hate to miss the dinner, but maybe you should take me back home and we can do this another time.”

Three dark gazes turned on him. Mina asked, “Um, Midoriya, you didn’t think we were serious, did you?”

“It was a joke? I’m so glad,” Izuku blurted out.

Mrs. Ashido said, “Of course it was a joke. You must know that species outside the Covenant are very strictly protected. Mina had to go through so much paperwork to get permission to enroll as a hero student because she will have to fight humans. Even then she’s not allowed to use her full strength.”

Mina scratched her head. “Sorry, Midoriya! My family has a dark sense of humor. I shouldn’t have sprung it on you without warning. I thought you were laughing along because your tentacles were waving.”

Ah, so that must be the alien form of laughter. Izuku recorded this second piece of alien lore. “I thought it was a joke at first but Mr. Ashido’s deadpan face nearly convinced me.”

Snickering, Mr. Ashido shook his head. “I’m a vegetarian. I’d never hurt any living being. My family is here on a charitable mission. We’ve been studying quirks to test the validity of the Quirk Singularity Theory. We seek out people with quirks that harm their bodies and use our advanced technology to help them. If humanity’s current evolution turns out to endanger their survival, then we’re authorized to leak quirk-suppressing technology to help.”

Mina said, “I joined a hero school to get a chance to look at more powerful quirks.”

Izuku smiled. In the end, the Ashidos were good people after all. “What would you do if a human accidentally found out about you?”

“We’d never hurt anyone!” Mrs. Ashido said. “We’d just erase their memories.”

Mina said, “I’d get in trouble if anyone at school found out. I might even have to transfer.”

That was a lot better than Izuku had previously assumed, but he preferred to keep his memories intact. This was all way too cool to forget about. Also, he definitely didn’t want to be the reason that Mina had to leave U.A. “Whelp, good thing that Mina and I only found out about each other.” Black Whip waved behind his head. He tried to still the tell-tale tentacle.

Everyone laughed. Mina said, “I already had a few suspicions about you, Midoriya, because of your white pupils. Speaking of which, I’m glad that humans have all kinds of eye colors these days. Contact lenses are a pain.”

Mr. Ashido said, “Come, follow me to dinner. I ran every dish through the safety scanner to make certain it could be eaten by any carbon-based lifeform. Even a human’s weak stomach would have no problems.”

That was certainly good to know. “I’m excited to try it,” Izuku said sincerely. He couldn’t wait for his first taste of alien cooking. He followed the parents out of the room.

Mina hissed, “You’re in for a treat! Cooking is my dad’s Andromedan obsession.”

The glowing hallway led into a room with floor to ceiling windows displaying outer space. It was a bit dizzying, but also awesome. Izuku stared at the swirling orb of planet Earth. He had to jerk his eyes away because he feared he might make it too obvious that he’d never been in space before.

The room had a silver table in the middle that hung suspended in the air with no legs. The silver padded chairs had holes in the back, which Izuku realized must be to let out the tentacles. A giant golden pot sat in the middle of table, bubbling.

Following the lead of his hosts, Izuku sat down. Mrs. Ashido said, “We thought we’d ask what drink you preferred since they’re easy to replicate.”

“Thank you! Ashido already got me a drink,” Izuku said, putting down the green tea.

One of Mr. Ashido’s tentacles ladled soup in a bowl while another arranged green tubes on a plate. A third tentacle added a small bowl of beans. He placed the plate before Izuku. “May your tentacles be nourished.”

Izuku waited, but no one else made a move toward the food. Mina nudged him. “We’re using Andromedan manners, the guest eats first,” she hissed.

It would be rude to eat before anyone else had he been served dinner in Japan, but when in space, do as aliens do. At least the spoon looked like an Earth spoon, albeit made of some strange shimmering material. Spoon design was probably universal. Izuku took a sip. The purple liquid had a rich garlic taste. The chunks tasted like kidney beans but were much juicer. “It’s wonderful, thank you.”

The other three served themselves too. Mina said, “Andromedan starfruit soup is my dad’s specialty.”

Izuku tried the green tubes. They were much softer than they looked. He’d expected them to taste like vegetables, but instead they melted in his mouth like chocolate and left a sweet aftertaste. “Mmm, very good. What’s this called?”

Mina said, “SA-12 leaves, because they only grow once every twelve years. These days we replicate them, of course.”

Izuku tried the beans, then hastily chugged his tea to erase the bitter flavor. “Those taste like natto,” he said for lack of anything complimentary to say.

Tentacles waving, Mina chuckled, “It is natto, silly! Did you forget that our people introduced natto to humanity?”

“It was a huge scandal in anthropological circles,” Mr. Ashido added. “At least it means my whole family has an easy time purchasing our favorite food.”

That explained why natto was so unfit for human consumption. Izuku choked down a few more bites, then spread out the beans in the bottom of the bowl in hopes it would look like he’d eaten more of it than he actually had.

As they ate, Mrs. Ashido asked, “What brings you to this planet?”

Izuku blurted out the first answer that came to mind. “I’m a huge hero nerd. It’s, err, my Andromedan obsession.”

Mina slapped the table in her enthusiasm. “I love human culture too! Especially science fiction. I watched the Alien movies seven times before I ever even set tentacle on this planet.”

“I’ve never seen those,” Izuku said.

“Then no wonder you took my jokes a little too seriously.” Mina bounced in her seat. “Let’s marathon the movies later.”

Mr. Ashido asked, “What type of immigration permit are your parents under?”

“They’re scientists like you two.” That was the only alien job he knew. Izuku realized he’d better change the subject before the Ashidos asked him a question he couldn’t answer. “Tell me more about your research into quirks.”

Mr. Ashido sipped his soup. “Lately we’ve been investigating the dawn of the age of quirks, which we believe was caused by illegal extraterrestrial tampering.”

“Please tell me more.” Izuku didn’t need to fake his curiosity. The origin of quirks was a total mystery. He’d heard conspiracy theories about alien interference before. Shouto Todoroki was an enthusiast on the subject. Those theories became a lot more plausible now Izuku was speaking with a family of aliens.

Mrs. Ashido said, “Shortly before the glowing baby was born, a notorious criminal from the Andromeda Galaxy broke out of jail and fled to this planet. He kidnapped his own younger brother, an officer in the Space Force.”

Mina whispered, “He obsessed over family. Andromedans who collect living beings are all funny in the head. Even the ones who collect pets, and you can quote me on that.”

Mrs. Ashido continued, “We believe that he triggered a mass mutation among humanity causing them to develop powers so that he could harvest these powers as his own, in preparation to return to Andromeda and conquer the galaxy.”

Izuku choked on his tea. A criminal from the dawn of the age of quirks who could steal powers and had a younger brother? That sounded exactly like All for One.

“Are you all right?” Mina asked, passing him a napkin.

“I just drank a little too quickly,” Izuku said brightly, wiping his mouth. “Please continue your story. I’m fascinated.”

Mr. Ashido said, “We’ve been looking for this criminal. Our species is long-lived, so he might still be on Earth. There’s a huge reward on his head.” He sighed and clenched his fist. “If we could find and capture him, then we could buy equipment to help so many more people suffering from ill-suited quirks.”

Mrs. Ashido placed a tentacle on her husband’s arm. “I’m less enthused than my mate about fighting an ancient warlord. The Space Force also issued a reward for the safe return of his younger brother. I’d rather focus on rescuing the hostage.”

How interesting. Izuku had always known in the back of his mind that All for One would probably escape Tartarus. It had a certain narrative inevitability. The prison simply didn’t have the means to hold the legendary villain. He’d tried to push this concern away since there was nothing he could do about it. But now he had an idea. “What if I told you that I know where to find this criminal? Though I’m afraid his younger brother is already dead.” Technically there was a vestige of Yoichi inside One for All, but the Space Force would pry Izuku’s ultimate piece of All Might merch (his hero’s quirk) from his cold, dead fingers.

The floppy tentacles on Mr. Ashido’s head stood straight up. “Please tell us everything you know.”

Izuku didn’t want to reveal One for All, so instead he constructed a story about overhearing a conversation between All Might and Nezu. He explained about All for One’s origins and his abilities, finishing, “All for One is currently locked up in Tartarus. He wouldn’t be able to fight back at all if you shot your transporter beam at him.”

“That does make him a more tempting target,” Mrs. Ashido admitted, her tentacles quivering.

Izuku grinned. This was his big chance to get All for One shipped off the planet, where he would no longer be humanity’s problem. Izuku didn’t even care if his theory was correct as long as he got rid of One for All’s great enemy. “Surely it’s worth investigating.”

Mr. Ashido stroked his chin. “We can put All for One back and erase his memory if we’re wrong. Is my alien abduction permit still in order?”

Mrs. Ashido said, “Yes, dear, I submitted the renewal form last week. How would we split the reward?”

“I’ll let you keep all the reward money,” Izuku said. Alien currency couldn’t be spent on All Might merchandise so Izuku didn’t care.

“That’s too generous, Midoriya,” Mina said. “Are you sure?”

Izuku smiled in an entirely unfriendly way. “I have a personal reason to want this alien as far away from me as possible.”

Though the alien dining room had been cool, it was nothing compared to the alien piloting room. Izuku had expected something more like an airplane cockpit with a steering wheel. Instead, the glowing blue-grey walls had tubes jutting out everywhere like weeds. A large tube fastened over Mrs. Ashido’s head. Her fingers danced in the air as she piloted the ship with her mind.

The artificial gravity must be very strong. Izuku barely felt any movement even though the nighttime skyscrapers below flew by in a blur. However, two tubes had grown over his shoes to hold him in place just in case.

Tugging on a series of smaller tubes hanging down from the wall, Mina called, “Our invisibility cloak is holding steady. I’ve turned on the shields in case of accidental fire.”  Her feet danced with excitement.

“I see Tartarus coming up on the starboard side,” Mr. Ashido said, pressing his hand to a glowing patch on the wall. A flickering hologram appeared showing the rooms of Tartarus. “Which prisoner is All for One?”

Izuku leaned over to peer at the blurry images. “He’s the faceless guy on life support. There!” Izuku pointed at the sleeping supervillain.

“Transporter beam activating.” Mina dramatically yanked on a tube.

A glowing beam of light shot downward onto Tartarus. Izuku was privileged to watch All for One briefly wake up and scream before he dissolved into the light. Hopefully the villain got motion sick.

“He’s been deposited in the cryogenic freezing chamber for analysis.” Mina took a bow. Her parents applauded with their tentacles.

Alarms blared from Tartarus as the invisible ship flew away.

The next morning, Mina knocked on Izuku’s door. She said, “The DNA was a match! The Space Force came to take All for One away. Dad had a little bit of money left over after purchasing the medical equipment, so he traded it in for Earth currency and gave it to me for a shopping spree. Want to come along? I know you said you didn’t want a reward, but you at least deserve some stylish new clothing.”

“Sure!” Izuku said. He could always use more All Might T-shirts. “The Space Force definitely doesn’t plan to let All for One out any time soon, right?”

Mina patted his shoulder. “He’s not even eligible for parole for a millennium. Don’t worry, I figured out why you want him gone so badly. I won’t tell anyone.”

Izuku wondered if Mina had figured out about One for All and her mistake, or if she was completely off on the wrong track. Cautiously, he asked, “What do you mean?”

Mina said, “I should have realized sooner that All for One is your father. You’ve got your uncle’s eyes! Those are the classic white pupils from the planet Andromeda-Seven.”

Izuku choked.

“Are you still figuring out breathing?” Mina asked, peering at his stunned face.

Izuku cried, “All for One is definitely not my father! I’m not even an alien. I went along with your story because I was curious.” He would rather admit to his deception than the horror of having All for One as a relative. “Please don’t erase my memory. I won’t tell anyone.”

Mina gasped. “Oh, sweet galaxies. You didn’t know that you’re an alien.”

Izuku frowned. “I’m not. Black Whip is a quirk. My father works abroad in America. Look, I’m sorry for lying to you.”

Mina shook her head. “Midoriya, I never would have approached you if I hadn’t already scanned your DNA. I had to be certain before revealing my big secret. You’re an Andromedan like me and my parents. And…you didn’t know it? Your father never told you what you are! What an unfertilized egg!”

“That doesn’t prove I’m related to All for One,” Izuku insisted, his mind reeling. “Maybe my mother is an alien. Yeah, that could be it.”

The pity in Mina’s eyes scared him. “I already ran your DNA against All for One. It was a match. Ugh, how dare he keep you in the dark even when you’re clearly on the cusp of Andromedan puberty. We fully mature a bit later than humans and it can be…rough. But you have nothing to fear.” She slapped him on the back. “I’ll teach you everything you need to know.”

“Can I get my memory erased, please?” Izuku asked weakly. Even a wealth of alien knowledge could not compensate him for the horror of All for One as his father.

OMAKE TIME!

Omake: The Area 51 Expert

Izuku: I need help figuring out if Mina is an alien or she’s pranking me.

Shouto: I’m on it! I’ve already formed half a dozen different conspiracy theories, including one where All for One is your father and one where Mina is your sister.

Izuku: Can I take the sister instead of the supervillain dad?

#

Omake: Denial Isn’t Just a River in Egypt

Izuku: Is Mina an alien or is she delusional?

Mina: All for One is your father!

Izuku: I suppose she could be both.

#

Omake: Banjo’s Real Quirk

Izuku: If I have tentacles because I’m an alien, then why did Banjo show up in a dream and tell me that I used his quirk?

Yoichi: Because you did. You instinctively drew on Banjo’s power to erase your tentacles when they were going berserk.

Izuku: Banjo has a quirk to erase tentacles? How useless. Second won’t let me have his quirk, Fa Jin already didn’t bring any extra abilities to the table, and now this.

Third: Hey!

Yoichi: It’s actually a very useful ability. It’s an enhanced form of Erasure that even works on mutations, unlike Aizawa’s power.

Izuku: That’s awesome! But be honest, I’m pretty sure that Third was quirkless and you made up Fa Jin.

#

Omake: Inko Didn’t Ask Questions About Where Her Husband’s Money Came From

Izuku: Mom, why didn’t you ever tell me that Dad was an alien?

Inko: I didn’t know.

Izuku: Didn’t you ever question the tentacles?

Inko: Well, I try not to question a man with that much money who wants to marry me. The tentacles were a bonus.

#

Omake: Humans Continue to be a Bunch of Freaky Alien-Fuckers

Izuku: Ugh, First and Second are always so lovey-dovey in the Void.

Third: Yeah, you’d hardly believe that we originally went to the vault to kill Yoichi. Then Leader went gah-gah and stopped me from killing the alien invader who perfectly fulfilled his previously impossible kink.

Yoichi: Nineth is too young to hear about that!

Third: Uh, I mean your uncles fell in love at first sight.

Izuku: I don’t get it. What was his kink, bank vaults?

Second: (Between clenched teeth) Yes, my kink was bank vaults. That’s probably a kink that someone in human history has had.

Izuku: Strange, but I don’t judge.

Later:

Izuku: (Waking up at three a.m. in the morning and screaming) It was tentacles!