Chapter Text
The sun shone into my room through a gap. The curtains were drawn because of my roommate Aries most of the time. But I closed my eyes. I would not stand up anyway. The last weeks were hard enough. Waking up and forcing myself to go to class, getting back and lie in bed the rest of the time. Aries tried to get me to go with some friends to Jericho a few times.
“If you don’t go to class today, I will tell Weems.”, Aries threatened me this morning. I had no energy left to answer and just turned away from the door. They sighed and left frustrated.
A knock brought me back into reality. But I stayed as I was. What would happen if I did turn around? There would never be a difference.
The door opened slowly.
“Miss Villan?”, the principal sounded a little unsure, but friendly. Her heels clicked on the floor when she came to my bed.
“Autumn are you alright?”, I couldn’t even answer my principal.
“I am going to touch you, okay?”, her hands slowly turned me towards her. My blank stare went through her.
“Oh, darling.”, she whispered and crouched down near my face.
“This does not feel good, does it? How should we help you now?”, she asked softly and looked around a bit. Why was she even here? It felt strange to be cared for.
“How about I bring a little order to the room? Let me open the curtain first.”
She began picking up random items from the floor. I had no energy the last weeks and left everything where I put it down. Clothes, snacks and snack wrappers, water bottles, handkerchiefs, pillows, charging cables, hair ties, papers, pencils, and all the regular daily items were strewn across my side of the room. At first, Yoko had tried to tidy up a bit every other day but soon gave up. Now the headmistress was kneeling on my floor and sorting through my mess. She even put my phone on the charger and laid it within my reach.
I was not even embarrassed anymore. Nothing matters in the end. Why be here anyway? My stream of thought turned dark again, and I dissociated.
“Well, that should be most of it.”, Weems stood at my bedside again, looking around, nodding to herself.
“-‘m sorry.”, my whisper was barely heard. My voice had not been used for a few days now.
“Oh, don’t be, darling! Everyone needs help sometimes. And I am sorry, that I was not here before. Aries asked me about strange behaviour a few days ago, but I did not connect the dots with you. I told them about depression and its effect on people, you know. They were rather concerned, but they did not answer my question about who they were talking about. Aries thought you would get in trouble and kept silent. I should have told them, that this is no problem for me.”, my principal explained and got down to my height again, running her hand softly over my hair. With a surprised sound, she took her hand away and peeled my blanket away.
“You are still in your uniform? Let us get that off.”, cautiously Ms Weems got me into a sitting position and leaned me against the headboard. She was very gentle with everything she did.
“There we go. Is it okay, if I brush your hair a bit?”, I could nod my head lightly.
“I am really proud of you, Autumn. You are doing well.”, the encouragement felt nice, even when I did nothing to help. But the company was very nice. I did not feel as cold as before, laying alone in bed, waiting for something and nothing at the same time. Tears were running silently down my face.
“Let it out, child. Anything if it helps you feel better.”, the headmistress handed me a handkerchief and braided my hair to keep it out of my face and prevent it from getting tangled further.
“I will contact Dr Kinbott about your situation. We want you to be as safe as possible. But I will bring you something to eat first. I will be back in a few minutes.”
Being alone, it felt immediately darker. The few colours left the world again… as did my feelings that had slowly crept back into my body—the minutes ticked by like seconds.
“I was held up, sorry.”, the door opened after a quick knock and my headmistress was back. She sat a tray down on my desk and helped me to sit up again before she sat on the edge of my bed with the bowl in hand.
“Do you want to try yourself, Autumn?”
Cautiously Principal Weems held the soup near me and gave me a spoon. How useless would I be if I was not even able to eat on my own? I was not sick. I had to pull myself together!
My hand shook with the ‘heavy’ spoon. Tears gathered in my eyes when the cutlery slipped out of my hand.
“That’s no problem at all. Let me help you then. We can do this.”, the confidence in her voice did not convince me. How often would she sit here to feed me?!
“Come on darling, I will not leave until you ate something. I brought chocolate pudding if it is more to your taste.”
It was strange sitting here with the respectable principal, her height only making her more captivating. She oversaw everything around here and ferociously fought for her students. Defending us before god-knows who every chance she got and could answer any question someone could have. No matter the subject. – And just now she spoon-fed me.
Ms Weems had even told me a few stories of her time in Nevermore as a student before she asked if I would like to sleep for a bit while she phoned the local psychiatrist.