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Izuku stood outside the banquet hall, with his jacket collar up and hands tucked in his pockets against the heavy fall winds. It was cold, but he couldn’t bring his feet to move him any closer to the front doors. The sun was just about to set, leaving the sky to the left of the building a beautiful brilliant orange and purple. Izuku could admit to himself he was letting that distract him, in case anyone came outside and asked what the hell he was doing. He wasn’t avoiding the reunion, the regret, the sadness, the memories, the friends, the War. No - he wasn’t avoiding anything. He was staring at the sunset.
Izuku knew he was the last to arrive, he recognized most of the cars in the parking lot as his friends’. His classmates’. He’d purposefully been vague about his availability, just in case he couldn’t bring himself to come tonight. Then, he’d gone so far as to be half an hour late just in case anyone was a few minutes late and he could avoid them seeing him sitting in his car for an additional fifteen minutes. Eventually, he’d managed to get halfway to the door but his feet were being stubborn and refusing to push forward at all.
The sound of footsteps broke through Izuku’s thoughts. They were soft, but purposefully louder than they needed to be. Izuku would have recognized the distinctive gait of his ex-teacher anywhere. Shouta Aizawa only walked like that when he was trying to avoid startling someone at his arrival.
“Problem Child.” He greeted. The retired hero had his hands in his pants pockets, that signature capture weapon still proudly adorning his neck. It was, as usual, hiding half his face which made it unreadable to anyone around him. Izuku could still see the concern in Aizawa’s brows.
“Aizawa-sensei.” Izuku’s voice shook. He wasn’t nervous around his ex-teacher, but his nerves were frayed right now and it just came out that way.
“Kid, we’ve known each other long enough - call me Shouta.”
“Okay… Shouta.”
Aizawa tilted his head, jerking it slightly towards the banquet hall. For a long moment, Izuku did nothing. He didn’t even realize the head motion was a question. He should have, Aizawa wasn’t known for being all that wordy overall. But eventually, Aizawa realized Izuku missed his question and spoke up.
“Why are you standing in the parking lot in the cold, Izuku?”
“I-… I uhm…” And that was just it. Why was he just standing here in the cold? Why couldn’t he force his legs to move? Why did the thought of walking through that door and seeing the smiling faces of his ex-classmates scare him so much?
After the war, after they graduated, they’d all become pro-heroes. They all had good jobs, and were happy. Izuku had a job as well, he worked at a top agency and was even rank five on the hero charts now. But he’d barely spoken to anyone from class 1-A in years. He still spoke to Katsuki a couple times a week, but that was mainly because the two were inseparable even before UA and this level of communication between them counted as distance, distance that Izuku didn’t want to admit to.
After the war, Izuku changed. He receded inside himself and threw himself into heroics full time. There was little time left for a life, for thinking, for worrying about emotions or what happened between UA and being a pro. No, he avoided thinking about all of that altogether. He took extra shifts weekly, almost daily. He paid for an apartment he rarely used since he often just took naps at his agency between shifts.
“I don’t know.” He finally answered, his voice sounding final despites its insecurity.
To his credit, Aizawa didn’t even seem bothered to stand there with him. Nor did he prompt Izuku to explain anything. The man rocked back and forth from his heels to his toes for a moment before reaching out a hand. Aizawa’s hand came up to land gently on Izuku’s head, ruffling his perpetual green curls.
“It’s okay, kid. We can stand here as long as you need.”
“Y-you should go in. I’m sure everyone wants to see you, Sensei.”
“I’m sure they all want to see you, too. No one’s seen you outside of the news in almost three years, Izuku. Also, drop the Sensei. I’m not your teacher anymore.”
“I… I’m just busy, that’s all!”
“Kid. We all know it’s not that. Stop lying to yourself. We were all hurt by what happened. You don’t have to burn yourself out to prove you’re a hero.”
“B-b-but… that’s not-!”
“Izuku. Stop.”
Aizawa turned to face him, dropping his hand back into his pocket as he crouched down slightly to meet eye to eye with Izuku. Aizawa’s glares were still terrifying, even with one eye missing and a patch covering the socket.
“They still love you. They’re worried about you. They want to see you.” He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. “They asked me to be the one, you know.”
“What?”
“To have this talk with you. They knew it wouldn’t work coming from anyone but Bakugo or me. Bakugo couldn’t bring himself to crack your shell because of your past and that’s understandable. So - here I am.”
Izuku’s brain just short circuited. They had… planned this?
“But… but Ai-Shouta. I’m fine, really. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m just trying to make it to that number one spot and it’s a lot of work and-”
“Kid.” Aizawa sounded exasperated. But Izuku knew that tone. He was about to say something that no one would like, but everyone needed to hear. “Don’t you think it’s time to give up the self-sacrificing bullshit and put yourself first for once in your life? If you don’t - it’s going to get you killed… or worse, you’ll end up alone at the end with nothing to show for all your effort.”
And wasn’t that the truth? Izuku felt alone, and had isolated himself to try and protect people. To try and protect himself. He’d shut down and out and left all his friends to try and prevent them from getting too close. To prevent them from being used against him. To prevent them from seeing the pain he was in, too.
There weren’t any words Izuku could think of that could equate his emotions at that realization. So his body did the one thing it always did when he was overwhelmed with emotions - it poured tears from his eyes.
But even this side of him had changed. Gone was the sobbing mess he used to be when he cried. Instead, he just stared at Aizawa with a slightly confused expression as tears silently dribbled down his cheeks. It must have shocked Aizawa to see the young man so calm because the retired hero just blinked for a solid minute.
Izuku reached up to brush a sleeved arm across his eyes to dry them.
“Thank you, Shouta. I-… well, that hurt but, I needed to hear it.”
After shaking his head to clear whatever fog those tears had brought, Aizawa nodded.
“Good. Are you ready to go inside, Problem Child?”
“Yes, Sensei.” Izuku gave Aizawa a small smile. The taller man beside him just ruffled his hair once again and turned towards the building.
_________________________________________________________________
The music wasn’t too loud, just enough to make people talk slightly above an ‘indoor voice’. Izuku counted that as a small blessing. He’d probably panic if the music were any louder. The whole class was here, all nineteen of them, laughing and chatting and dancing.
No one looked to the door just yet, the music having covered the entrance of Izuku and everyone’s favorite teacher. It helped that Aizawa used some of his stealth techniques to keep the door from announcing their entry. Izuku offered a grateful glance at the erasure hero who smirked in reply.
Aizawa stood by Izuku’s side while he took off his coat, offering a hand for Izuku’s as well. Izuku hesitated for a moment, his weight shifting from foot to foot till he finally gave in and shook his head. He wanted to keep something as a comfort item. Something he could hide in. Aizawa didn’t press the subject, turning to put his coat on the rack instead. Once he was done, he put a hand on Izuku’s shoulder which caused the younger man to jump slightly.
“Hey, Problem Child, take a breath. These are your friends. You’ve known them for years. They miss you. Just tell them if you’re overwhelmed, they’ll understand.”
Aizawa’s voice was reassuring and Izuku nodded, despite being unsure if he would actually find a voice to even speak with if he felt overwhelmed. Most of them knew he tended to go mute when things were a touch too much. He knew that at least Katsuki and Aizawa knew sign language. Katsuki because his quirk damaged his ears, and Aizawa because he was married to Present Mic, who’s quirk had deafened him as a child. But, Izuku didn’t think the rest of the class knew the language, which meant if he did freeze up he’d be a bit stuck having to make either Katsuki or Aizawa translate. Izuku didn’t want to be an inconvenience on either of them, so he resolved to do his best to stay calm.
“I think I’m ready, Sensei.”
Aizawa just gave him a look. A look that said ‘what did I say?’. Izuku actually let out a faint chuckle. It was too hard to stop calling him ‘sensei’. It was ingrained in Izuku’s bones. It was also about respect. The whole class had an immense amount of respect for Shouta Aizawa, and even more for Eraserhead - a hero who had saved them all at least once, if not many more times. This one man was like an adopted father to them all, and had taught them everything they know about being heroes, and being adults.
“Come on, kid.” Aizawa urged, tucking his hands back into his pants pockets as he ushered Izuku across the entrance of the building towards the tables where half the class was chatting. The other half were up and dancing, though some were over at the food tables grabbing from what looked like a buffet.
Izuku’s eyes zeroed in on Katsuki’s blonde spikes. He was at the back of the tables, looking nervous and agitated. It would be normal, except that he kept stealing glances towards where Aizawa and Izuku were coming from. Oh right, they’d all planned to have Aizawa talk to Izuku if he showed up. Katsuki was likely panicking about Izuku’s reaction.
Stopping mid stride, Izuku pulled out his phone and shot a text off to Katsuki.
‘Thank you’ It read. It was simple enough, and hopefully he’d understand the context.
Aizawa had stopped as well. His head was tilted to the side with one eyebrow arched up in question at Izuku’s actions. Izuku jerked his head towards Katsuki and Aizawa followed his line of sight.
Katsuki jumped when his phone buzzed and quickly took it out. When he saw the notification, his whole body visibly relaxed and he looked up. His eyes met Izuku’s and the whole world stopped for a single moment. The music faded into the background, Izuku’s heart thudded loudly in his chest, his vision becoming a single point - Katsuki. Shit, he hadn’t felt this way in years. Not since the last time he saw Katsuki. When the moment passed, Katsuki broke eye contact and tucked his phone away. He was up and moving a second later, practically jogging towards Izuku.
The greenette just opened his arms. It made Katsuki move faster, rushing to his friend and pulling him into the warmest bear hug Izuku could remember having in probably the better side of a decade since his mother passed away. His feet were barely touching the ground as Katsuki buried his face into Izuku’s shoulders and hugged him under his arms in a half lift. Izuku couldn’t wipe the smile from his face, it felt nice.
“Missed you, you shitty Nerd.” Katsuki grumbled into his shoulder. Izuku giggled.
“I missed you, too, Kacchan.” And oh that one word made every single muscle and bone release whatever remaining tension was built up in Katsuki’s body. It was like a string had been pulled and let the tall blonde just unwind himself like a stretched coil no longer taut.
“I’ll leave you two idiots to your make up session. Just don’t stand here too long, the rest of the class looks ready to pounce.” Aizawa went in as a distraction. It worked. Most of the class focused on their teacher’s arrival - likely to ask him how Izuku was but Izuku could pretend it was genuinely for Aizawa’s presence.
“Kacchan, we should join the rest of the clas-”
“Not yet, nerd, we need to talk.”
“U-uhm, okay, what’s up?”
Izuku was a little nervous about this. Was Katsuki going to assert the words of Aizawa? Was he going to yell and cuss and scream at Izuku for falling off the friend grid for three years? Maybe. All of those were viable options when it came to Katsuki Bakugo. The blonde pulled Izuku towards the back most table where he’d been sitting. He shot a look at anyone in the room who looked close enough to pouncing. It made them sigh or roll their eyes, but they backed off and turned back to the room instead.
Izuku internally thanked Katsuki for it. Shuffling his feet a little as he sat down, Izuku tried to keep his nervous energy to a minimum. Hiding it was fairly easy, he just tucked his hands back into his pockets to pick at his fingernails in relative peace. One knee bounced a couple times a minute. It was better control than he’d had in the past, at least.
“Look Ner-… Izuku.”
Katsuki never used Izuku’s given name. Sometimes Izuku imagined he’d just forgotten it, or somehow never knew it in the first place. He’d mis-read the kanji for Izuku’s name when they were five and well - Deku was born. But after everything in middle school and high school, Katsuki never used that word anymore. He usually just called Izuku ‘nerd’ or ‘dumbass’. But he said it like one might call someone ‘hun’ or ‘bro’. It was friendly and Izuku never minded either.
“Izuku?”
Oh, right. Katsuki was talking.
“Hmm? Sorry, Kacchan. I got lost in thought.”
“I see that. You back down to earth now, star child?”
Izuku chuckled, nodding as he refocused on Katsuki’s face.
“Right… I was saying that I know the last five or so years have been hard on all of us, but you took it especially hard after the war. Even after we graduated and became pro-heroes. But - that was ten years ago. We were fourteen, we were kids. They threw us into a war we never signed up for, a war we never wanted. But you… Izuku you were the sacrificial pawn to them. All Might’s successor.”
Izuku flinched at the mention of Yagi’s hero name. After All Might had retired officially when the Kamino fight happened, he’d asked Izuku to refer to him by name - Yagi Toshinori. When the man had died - Izuku had taken an unspoken vow of silence regarding the hero. Izuku never mentioned him, and he’d packed away all the All Might merch he owned. No one had talked about the man around Izuku in years and hearing that hero name now felt like Katsuki had forced a fingernail into an old festering wound to dig out the scabs.
“But,” Katsuki continued, softer than before. He’d noticed the flinch, obviously. “We tried to… we tried to keep you on this side of grief. We really did. But in the end, no one wanted to hurt you. We knew you needed to find your own path, and fight your way back to us like you always do. Recently, though, I felt like you were just… too far gone. But I was too scared to hurt you again. To shatter whatever resolve had kept you going the last few years. I was too scared you’d be reminded of the horrible teenager I was and you’d push me away even farther then where we are now.”
“Kacchan- I’m so sorry.” Izuku buried his fists tighter into his coat pockets, trying to keep a lid on his emotions. It was working enough to keep his throat from slamming shut, but that’s about as far as it went. “I never meant to push you all away like that, I really didn’t.” He was sniffling, the admission bringing tears to his eyes but no sobs to his chest. Katsuki might have given him a weird look like Aizawa did about how silently he cried now, but he didn’t voice that concern to Izuku.
“It’s okay, Izuku. We know you were hurting and lost.”
“No!” The word was shouted a little louder than he meant to. A few heads in the room turned but Katsuki just held up a hand to keep them back. “No. It’s not okay, Kacchan. I need… I need to say this. You need to hear this.”
“Okay. I’m listening. I’m right here, Nerd.”
“I was scared. I was … I was just scared. After… after the war. After everything that happened. After Yagi died. After mom died. After so many of you losing parts of yourself - literally. It was all my fault.” Katsuki opened his mouth to argue but Izuku held up a hand, “No. This one you can’t fight. I was - I am All Might’s successor. We both know that more than anyone. So yes, this one is my fault. Or rather, the fault of the One for All holders. It was our battle, our feud, our two hundred year war - that caused all this.”
Izuku had to take a few breaths to clear the tightness settling in his throat and chest before he could continue. Katsuki waited patiently.
“I was scared that if you all got too close to me again - you’d get hurt. There are still villains after me, who want revenge for Shigaraki’s death. Hell, there are heroes out there who blame me for All Might’s death, too. I didn’t want the closest people to me to get hurt because of a stupid decision I made on a whim at fourteen. Saying yes to All Might was the dumbest decision I ever made. It hurt so many people, and I was terrified it would just keep hurting you all.”
“Do you regret it?”
“Which part?”
“Saying yes - to All Might.”
“Sometimes, Kacchan. Sometimes, I do. If I’m out really late, and I run into some of the really bad villains. When they scream and spit and kick and bite, anything. When they rage and blame me. Those nights - I regret it. Because I’d never be this, I’d never be a hero, if All Might hadn’t given me his quirk.”
“You’re wrong, Nerd.”
“How?”
“You’d have become a hero despite being quirkless. Despite all the shit I said and did to you. You would have been a hero to prove everyone wrong, and save everyone in Japan - just like you already have.”
Tears poured down Izuku’s face. That was likely the nicest thing Katsuki had ever said to him. Their ‘pep talks’ usually consisted of Katsuki cussing and Izuku crying. It worked for them, sure, but this was also a really nice change.
“When did you get so emotional, Katsuki Bakugo?” Izuku asked skeptically.
“Ehhh, agency mandated therapy will do that to a person.”
“Holy shit, the great Ground Zero goes to therapy?!” Izuku was whisper-shouting at the blonde across from him.
Katsuki hissed, making ‘shh’ motions with his hands. “If you tell any of the Extras I’ll kill you.” He grumbled.
Izuku chuckled, reaching out to take Katsuki’s hands in his, curling them tightly together. His hands were cold and Katsuki’s were always so warm from his quirk. Izuku looked down at the hint of metal he could see between the end of the blonde’s pant leg and the start of his boot.
“Izuku.” Katsuki’s voice drew his attention back to the man’s face. “We all lost things in the fires of war. It’s okay to not be okay with it.”
“It’s not that. I just…I was thinking you should get your leg customized to match your hero suit.”
“Haaaah? You’re seriously over there nerding out over my prosthetic leg?”
“But Kacchan! You could get it colored to match and … and! You could add in some like… springs or something, to give you a boost when you launch into the air with your quirk and…”
Katsuki burst into a fit of laughter. Izuku wasn’t sure why at first, but then he realized he’d gone off on a mumbling tangent like he used to. He’s likely listed off at least five ways to improve the leg to benefit Katsuki’s stats. Izuku blushed when he realized he’d gotten lost in his love of heroes and support items.
“Uhhh, sorry, Kacchan.”
“Not at all. I haven’t heard you do a nerd ramble in years. I actually didn’t realize I missed it! The world is far too quiet without your mumbling, Dumbass.”
Katsuki reached over and ruffled his hair, a bit more violently than Aizawa did. Izuku ducked his head a little to escape it, but Katsuki was faster and tucked his hand down under Izuku’s chin. Izuku’s face was pulled up till he was eye to eye with the blonde. Why this brought a brighter blush to Izuku’s face, he was sure he didn’t want to think about it.
“K-Kacchan?” He asked, nervously wondering what Katsuki wanted.
Katsuki didn’t answer at first. He was just staring into Izuku’s eyes, green and red burning together till they were both forced to blink. In that instant, Katsuki moved. Before Izuku finished blinking, Katsuki’s face was too close. There was no room to move, no time to move. Did he even want to move? Not really. Katsuki’s lips pressed softly to Izuku's. It wasn’t violent like he’d always expected Katsuki to be, like he was used to from the rude blonde. It was gentle, and caring. It almost felt like he was searching for something in this kiss. An answer perhaps?
Izuku was more than happy to offer that answer. Crooked and scarred fingers reached up and cupped Katsuki’s face, pulling him in until their knees smacked into each other between their chairs. Katsuki yelped into the kiss in surprise and Izuku took that as an invitation to bite Katsuki’s bottom lip. The blonde’s next noise was a groan and it sounded just as pleased as Izuku felt. He echoed it with one of his own before pulling away. The two heroes stared at each other, breathless and red faced. They were both debating if they wanted to dive back in for another kiss, and the offer was very clear in both sets of eyes.
“Fucking FINE-A-LY.” A shout broke the spell over Izuku and Katsuki, both of them turning to acknowledge the rest of the people in the banquet hall. Oh right, they weren’t alone. Shit. The voice turned out to be Mina, with both fists in the air. “Denki! You owe me fifty bucks!”
“Damnit!” He barked from the back of the buffet line, one hand on his hip and the other holding his plate.
The room broke out into a bustle of people exchanging money and handshakes. Izuku was too stunned to comment for a moment. Thankfully, Katsuki said what he was thinking.
“You shitty Extras were betting on what exactly?!” he had yet to let go of Izuku’s face, and the greenette was not complaining at all.
“I believe they made two bets.” Shouto looked up from his phone as he spoke, “if you’d piss Izuku off by being an idiotic asshole as usual, and the second… who would kiss who first.” He paused and looked to Momo with a smirk that somehow didn’t break his usual deadpan expression, “You owe me twenty.”
“Yeah yeah, I know.” Momo was digging around in her purse as she spoke.
“Wait… what?” Izuku finally found his voice. Glancing to the side, he saw Aizawa discreetly passing a thin wad of cash to Hitoshi. “Sensei! You too?!”
Everyone looked over to the pair of underground heroes, who looked rightfully chastised.
“I have made a lot of bets on you kids over the years, I’m not about to stop now.” Aizawa had a solid defense.
Hitoshi only offered a shrug, “What? I like taking long shots. I didn’t think the angry Pomeranian would find the balls to actually kiss you first.”
“What did you just call me, Eye Bags?!”
“You heard me, Spike!”
“I’ll kill you!” Katsuki was just about to get up when Izuku clutched the ever warming hand on his cheek, keeping the blonde rooted to his spot as he stood up.
“Oh, I like this. Izuku’s gonna keep him from beating us up, we can make fun of him forever now!” Hitoshi was slowly digging his own grave and Izuku was so tempted to let him lay in it. But that wouldn’t be kind, would it?
Probably not. Izuku still dropped Katsuki’s hand and grinned at him, “Go get em, Spike.” He teased. Katsuki growled, but his anger was directly at Hitoshi.
The purple haired teen’s face dropped in mock betrayal and he bolted off to hide behind Mina and Denki who were still exchanging money.
“Come on! Don’t be like that, Izuku!” Hitoshi cried, ducking a rather weak fist throw from Katsuki. Clearly the blonde wasn’t even trying, he was just messing with Toshi. Izuku giggled a bit and stood up, finally shedding his coat and leaving it on a nearby chair.
One piece of his armor was gone. Katsuki had shattered that outer shell and it felt… good. What would come of it, Izuku didn’t know yet. But for just this evening, Izuku was fine with the future being unknown. He was okay being not okay, and he didn’t feel alone anymore.