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Dirk sat bolt upright, scrabbling to get a grip on the bedsheets and stop the world from spinning.
He was breathing hard, and instinctively calmed his breathing to be as quiet as possible, closing his eyes and taking a shuddering breath as he tried to erase the images.
He thought of London, the sounds and smells. Walking along the South Bank of the Thames towards Tower Bridge, replacing American accents with the sounds of people from around the world, all the different languages. The Globe theatre where his first big case had been.
This was the place he went in his mind to calm himself after nightmares. It was a place he knew very well and could always picture with ease. People, colour, light, life...miles away from Blackwing in every way possible.
He imagined pigeons moving about with a Cockney swagger. Londoners looking purposeful, tourists looking-
"Dirk?" Patrick said, touching his arm lightly.
Dirk jumped, disorientated for a second time.
He opened his eyes, tense, trying to remember where he was and what the rules were here.
"What's wrong? Are you all right?" Patrick asked.
Oh, right. No it was ok, it was fine, he could do this. He just had to....
"Hi" he said awkwardly.
"Is everything ok?" Patrick asked.
Patrick sounded remarkably awake for someone who'd been unexpectedly woken up in the middle of the night.
"Yes...absolutely fine. Sorry to wake you."
There was a pause, where Dirk thought the lie had been successful and couldn't work out if he was relieved, disappointed, or both.
But then Patrick broke the silence.
"Did you have a nightmare?"
"I said I'm fine!" Dirk said abruptly. "I mean..." he backtracked, "I can't...think about that right now."
Patrick was even more concerned by the uncharacteristically tetchy tone.
"It's too...." Dirk tried to explain.
Patrick pulled him close to him. "It's all right. If you don't want to talk about it, we won't. We can talk about something else if you want?"
Dirk relaxed. "Yes. Ok." He breathed out, allowing himself the luxury of being comforted, just this once. "Have you ever been to London?" he asked after a moment.
Patrick had spent some time there, so they talked for a bit.
Patrick intuitively understood that London was a kind of comfort-zone for Dirk, and decided they should go on a trip there soon, to help him shake off the remnants of the last trip to Blackwing.
After a while, Dirk was soothed enough to go back to sleep.
The second nightmare happened the very same night.
Dirk scrambled out of bed, put his hands on the window sill for support and tried to calm his breathing.
Patrick got up and moved to him, taking the duvet with him and wrapping it around Dirk's trembling shoulders.
"I'm sorry." Dirk said, shaking his head. "I'll go and sleep somewhere else."
"Like hell you will." Patrick said, firmly. Perhaps a little too firmly since Dirk flinched.
"I'm sorry" Patrick said with regret. "I just meant that I want you to stay."
"It isn't fair on you." Dirk mumbled.
"It's even less fair on you." Patrick said softly. He put an arm around Dirk. "Come on, let's go back to bed"
He guided Dirk back to bed and they sat. Dirk could feel Patrick's astute eyes on him.
"Do you often have nightmares? Several in one night?"
"Not always." Dirk said, then sighed. "But quite often." he admitted.
"What can I do?"
Dirk just shook his head.
Patrick held him close to him, wishing he could invent something that could help but knowing it was impossible.
"I'm sorry." Dirk said, sounding tired and defeated. "I know this isn't ... what you wanted."
"What exactly is it you think I wanted?" Patrick asked, looking at him curiously.
Dirk ignored the question as he carried on. "I thought that if I was just very quiet - perhaps it wouldn't disturb you. I have a lot of practice not making too much...noise. It can be dangerous, I've found..." he drifted off vaguely.
"I'm a light sleeper." Patrick noted, thankful for that fact. The thought of Dirk suffering right beside him while he slept on didn't bear thinking about. "Dirk...you are exactly what I want. If you're upset, or scared, if you need me - hell if you just want me, I'm here. I want to know. I want to be there so I can keep you company even if I can't do anything else."
Dirk looked at him. "How did I get so lucky?" he asked in wonder.
"I'm the lucky one." Patrick said with a smile. He gave him a gentle kiss.
When Dirk was calmer Patrick ventured to ask: "Are they about Blackwing?"
"Mostly." Dirk answered after a moment.
Patrick thought he wasn't going to say anything more but he continued very quietly.
"Going back there was...difficult" he said. "I wish I could put it into words...but...a lot of the nightmares are just feelings, images and guards and noises, smells, scientists and - and pain... but above all, the panic and terror and....loneliness."
Patrick held him tighter, listening attentively and feeling grateful to be in Dirk's confidence.
"It will get better, over time. I just need to...adjust. To not being alone any more." Dirk said with a small smile.
Patrick nodded. "You haven't had much stability in your life. But you're home now, and I want to be there - every time you have a nightmare I want to be the one to remind you that you're safe, and loved, and home."
Dirk took a deep breath, cherishing this moment.
For the first time in a while, the next dream he had was not a nightmare but an actual, pleasant, dream. And when he woke up in Patrick's arms, he felt like he was still there.