Chapter Text
Mei's family knows that they're back together, so it's not a surprise that Mei decides to spend part of his winter holiday with Kazuya. Is it an easy decision for any of them to let Mei go? No. Are they going to be lonely and a little uneasy, maybe? Probably.
Is Mei doing it anyway? Absolutely, because that's what Mei does, and the number one perk of being the baby of the family. Nobody really wants to tell him he can't indulge in some time with his boyfriend now that they've gotten back together and he's so clearly excited about it.
It's not that much time out of seeing his family anyway. He spends part of the day at Kazuya's and then goes home before Kazuya's dad gets back from work, so he's still having dinner with his family every night and sleeping in his own bed! It's probably the fact that he's not sleeping over anyway that really lets them relax.
(New Year's Eve, though. Mei has plans.)
Not that it's going to make much difference sometime soon, since he and Kazuya have already made it clear that they're going to be getting an apartment together any time now. His mom's fretting over it plenty, but Kazuya can cook and clean just fine, so it's not like Mei won't be taken care of!
Really, everybody should probably be more worried about Kazuya and how much work he's going to be doing, rather than Mei. Of course, they're worried about Mei emotionally, a little, but even that, in Mei's eyes, is probably... fine.
Things have been good. They're good.
Kazuya is more relaxed now, and none of his old tells for discomfort really happen anymore. He doesn't flinch when Mei touches him, doesn't cringe a little when Mei says certain things... He leans into touches now, amazingly enough, and initiates his own.
It's something small, maybe, to most people. To Kazuya, though, it's pretty huge, which means to Mei, it means the world.
They outright cuddle now, curled up on Kazuya's couch together, with baseball on the television. It's not even entirely something they're focused on, but it's there for background noise and because it's just... part of them, really. What else would they do but watch baseball and comment on it?
Well.
Kiss, apparently.
Lately they haven't been very good at doing much besides that, which does thrill Mei. He's not complaining.
They haven't been good at keeping their hands off each other since they've been done with school. It's the promise of genuine privacy, no doubt, and no practice nagging at them from the back of their minds.
So far, every day Mei has been over has pretty much gone the same. Kazuya brings him in, they get a snack or drinks, sit on the couch next to each other, end up spooning or half laying on each other in some annoying way, and then somebody just -- looks.
Kazuya would probably say it's Mei every time, but it's definitely not. Sometimes when Mei turns to face Kazuya, Kazuya's already staring. The staring quickly turns to something that feels way too intense, and then they end up kissing, not sure who properly leans in first.
The pace of things is pretty much the same each time, too. It starts off hurried, something more frantic like they don't have time to take it easy, but it always mellows out. This is the fourth day in a row that Mei has ended up with Kazuya's hands up his shirt, thumbs gently stroking his abs, driving him nuts, while they slant their mouths against each other's over and over again, slow and lazy.
It's the fourth day in a row that Kazuya's made him so hard he can barely think, particularly because Mei's very capable of noticing that Kazuya is also hard, but they're not doing anything about it.
Mei has truly hit his limit.
He breaks the kiss, moves his head to the side, groans, then heaves a heavy sigh, too. "I can't take it anymore."
Kazuya just laughs at him. "What?"
"Am I supposed to be, like, giving you some signal here? Are you waiting on me to say something? Like, Kazuya, if you don't touch me, I'm going to die?"
A snort. "What if I am?"
"Then you're a jerk," Mei replies quickly, narrowing his eyes.
"You'd wanna hear it, too." He's right, Mei certainly would, but that doesn't stop him from scowling.
"So you really are waiting!?"
Kazuya shifts around, trying to get comfortable, and ends up a little too far away for Mei's liking. "No, not really," he says, shrugging. "But you didn't actually say anything, so how am I supposed to take it? I thought we were communicating more?" He's got this fake innocent look on his face like he's not being a brat, like he isn't making Mei's life that much more difficult.
There's... a degree of truth in that, though. It makes some sense.
"You didn't say anything either," Mei accuses anyway, just to try and steal the last word.
"Nope." It's hardly even fair that he just agrees, taking away any victory that Mei could have had.
"So... What? Do you not want to?"
"Of course I want to."
Mei can't really hide the way some tension melts away from his body, even though he'd hardly noticed consciously that he was feeling on edge.
"So you're just nervous?"
"Uh, of course I'm nervous." Kazuya has the decency to look a little flustered by that, and while Mei would normally tease him for that, relentlessly... it actually does help.
"Me too."
If he looks at it objectively, it shouldn't be that weird or scary? They've been pretty undressed in front of each other before, they both know basically what the other's going to look like, surely what they enjoy in terms of touch isn't going to be that different... and yet, Mei still feels a little terrified.
There are still a ton of worries that creep up on him, though, like whether Kazuya will like what Mei looks like when he's fully naked, or whether Kazuya will like how Mei touches him, how Mei feels.
The worst thing in the world he can imagine is not being able to actually get Kazuya off, for some inexplicable reason. It sounds humiliating and depressing and Mei is fiercely prideful, wants everything they do together to be good, even if he knows that they're likely to have some bumps and bruises and awkward moments along the way.
"We should get tested," Kazuya blurts out after a moment of Mei being quiet for too long. It's unnatural, that sort of thing, so Kazuya probably had to resort to saying something strange.
"Huh?"
"Tested. You know. For diseases and all. Sometimes people are carriers and they don't know it."
Oh.
"Oh." It kind of sounds like a lot of effort? It kind of sounds embarrassing, and also definitely implies that this isn't happening right now, which is a little bit of a let down?
Now Kazuya is blushing for real, which Mei savors privately while also being kind of impressed and surprised simultaneously that it seems like Kazuya did research.
"You're supposed to use condoms even for... oral and all, but if we got tested, we wouldn't have to bother."
Mei takes a moment to bask in the overwhelming reality of Kazuya thinking about oral in regards to them, and also the stunning implication that he'd rather not use condoms.
That sentiment and all the weight it carries is probably worth any hassle.
"Okay."
So they go get tested.
It’s mortifying.
By the time they get home from the clinic, they're both definitely feeling uncomfortable. Or maybe just awkward? There's a strong sense of anticipation now, knowing that they've both tested clean for things, that there really isn't any reason not to do more than they have already.
Now it's truly just about what they want and what they feel ready for, which leaves Mei unsure?
They hold hands on the way back from the train station like normal, but they aren't talking, and Kazuya's hand is sweaty in his. It's also obviously a little unsteady when he goes to unlock his front door and let them both inside.
Their shoes come off, but once they're actually inside the house, they end up just sort of -- hovering.
"C'mon," Kazuya says finally, tugging on his hand and making his way for the steps. "This is definitely not happening on the couch."
Mei wants to scream, a little? Is Kazuya saying it's happening at all? But he follows, regardless, because that makes sense. He'd never be able to look at Kazuya's dad again, or even come over here again, probably.
So they end up sitting on Kazuya's bed, which actually manages to probably be more awkward because beds are loaded with implications.
Kazuya's thumb is rubbing gently over Mei's knuckles, back and forth.
"Wanna wait for another day?" he asks, quieter than he needs to be since they're the only two at home.
"No," Mei answers honestly. Maybe just another minute? Or ten? Though, at the same time, he's so tired of waiting and wishes that it would just happen, wishes desperately that they could skip the fumbling parts and just enjoy themselves.
At least Kazuya doesn't ask if he's sure.
"Okay. Just come kiss me, then," he says, nodding, moving around to get situated, laying on his side. Mei does the same, lying to face him, squirming to get closer, but not too close yet, because somehow it feels like he shouldn't. "Okay?"
"Okay," Mei confirms, nodding back at him.
"Okay."
And then Kazuya kisses him, soft and sweet, and that's always helped with pretty much everything.
In moments like these, where Kazuya takes the lead in a way that manages to feel exactly like what Mei needs, Mei truly adores him and knows he's made the right choice. Kazuya is a brat, he's stubborn, he can be secretive, he makes Mei nervous for fun, and they bicker, but despite all that, Kazuya is so reliable. His smile makes Mei breathe easier, he's always there with good advice and good sense no matter what situation they're in, he's responsible, and most importantly, most amazingly, he really, really wanted to try and be good for Mei.
So everything will be fine and perfect, actually, because Kazuya is Kazuya and Mei does love him very much.
They also have hours, so there's no rush. They have days, even, if it's too much for today.
It'll be fine.
He breathes in deep when Kazuya pulls back a little and then dives right back in, not letting up. Kazuya meets his enthusiasm somehow, like he sort of always does, and Mei can feel a smile against his mouth at the same time he feels Kazuya's arm move to wrap around his side, palm resting on his back.
Mei reaches out and very gently eases Kazuya's glasses off his face, folds them and rolls onto his back so that he can stretch his arm out enough to place them on the bedside table.
The glasses coming off means that this is very intentionally going to end up being more than just a few pecks traded back and forth. It saves them the time later of getting them off and being careful about placing them out of the way, as well as preventing a bunch of smudges and all from getting on the lenses.
Kazuya grins, which makes Mei's heart stutter.
"Better now than later," Mei mumbles, like he actually has to defend the action.
"I can't see you as well now, though." It sounds like a complaint. It's another simple sentiment, but it does make Mei happy to think that Kazuya likes to look at Mei as much as Mei likes to look at him.
"You shouldn't be looking anyway. Less staring, more kissing." It's bolder talk than he has a right to cough up, really, but Mei is all about bravado and maybe it'll thrill them both.
From then, it's only a bit more difficult than usual to lose himself in the kisses. His hands end up buried in Kazuya's hair, Kazuya's hand slides up the back of his shirt and rubs circles over his back, their legs get tangled together and everything ends up significantly warmer.
It's so good. They've made out for hours, even hours in one sitting, and Mei is still not tired at all of the way Kazuya moans when Mei kisses him just right, sucks on his lip and then drags his teeth over it, too.
"I love you, you know," Kazuya says eventually, forehead pressed against Mei's, eyes shut, a little breathless. It's an incredibly unfair card to play, because Mei is painfully weak to Kazuya and the L-word goes straight to his heart and his dick with a painful jolt of feeling.
That's when Mei starts yanking off Kazuya's shirt and throwing it to the floor. It's as satisfying as he'd hoped it would be, the feeling of stripping him and being so careless with the clothing. Kazuya on display for him is really good, too, even though Mei is also painfully aware of what Kazuya looks like without a shirt and just how much his boyfriend works out.
If they're going to do this, Mei might as well indulge himself. He's had his hands here before, so instead he shoves Kazuya onto his back and moves to lean over him, shifting on the bed to have an easier time of dragging his lips all over Kazuya's torso without any warning.
Kazuya's skin is warm, but so is Mei's mouth, and despite all that, Kazuya still shivers underneath his attention. He kisses and bites at Kazuya's stupidly sculpted abs, experimentally sucks at some of the skin there until it bruises, which leaves him smirking triumphantly even if Kazuya's laughing at him for it.
All in all, he's not sure how much it does to make Kazuya desperately horny for him, but it does get hums that sound content out of him and every time Mei chances a look up at him, he's smiling, so it's still good. This is about emotional fulfillment for Mei anyway, the achievement of his dream of putting his mouth over every inch of Miyuki Kazuya.
He reacts a little differently when Mei gets up to his pecs, though, and his tongue ends up running over Kazuya's nipple.
His breath hitches, and he wiggles where he's laying, like he doesn't know what to do with the sensation. Mei knows what to do with that, knows to chase that reaction and do it again, harder, experimenting with dragging his tongue this way and that. He tries different patterns, different pressures, the flat of his tongue versus the point of it, and eventually, when one of those nipples is hard and flushed, Mei can't resist the urge to suck at it.
Kazuya groans.
Mei lifts his head up, curious.
"Better than I thought," Kazuya says, looking sort of distracted. Mei's not sure whether he means the action itself or his technique, but he's not going to ask questions right now. "Want me to try?" he offers, and of course Mei's going to agree.
He shuffles closer again on his knees, and the way that Kazuya ends up pushing himself up a bit so that he can tug Mei’s shirt off, neck craned up to reach, one hand on Mei's hip to encourage him to keep still, is already a lot.
It feels good -- he'd agree with the assessment of 'better than he thought', but it's really just about the way Kazuya does it, for Mei. He's focused about it, like he's determined to have Mei enjoy it, and Mei has a perfect view of his face, watching how intense Kazuya gets about this. It's nice, really nice, and Mei definitely lets out a couple pleased noises himself.
He gets a little louder when Kazuya starts sucking on part of his pec, much like Mei had done to his abs. The red spot he leaves is going to fade into something darker, purple, and Mei will end up staring at it in the mirror and when he takes a shower and remember how Kazuya had looked kind of blissfully concentrated when his mouth was on Mei's chest and then he'll end up hard and flustered over the very memory.
There's simply no other outcome.
Very suddenly, Mei realizes he didn't say it back, so he bends down to kiss Kazuya hard on the mouth again. Kazuya responds to that with more energy than he expected, his arms coming around Mei and holding on tight, kissing him back with just as much fervor. Sometimes their teeth bump but Mei barely cares, just lets Kazuya guide him back down until Mei is on his back again and Kazuya is leaning halfway over him.
"I love you too," Mei gets out between kisses, his words brushed against Kazuya's lips, which only seems to make Kazuya kiss him with more passion. Mei pulls at him, arms around Kazuya's neck, his hands on his shoulder blades, just tugging at him like he wants more, wants Kazuya closer.
Mei lets his legs fall apart enough for Kazuya to fit between them, but they're still keeping some careful distance, even though Mei has no idea why.
"Kazuya," he gasps, aching, though actually most of that feeling is in his chest, in his heart. "Come on, just --" Communication, Mei reminds himself, since Kazuya seemed to care about permission, may or may not have been waiting for that.
It's not that it feels that amazing when Kazuya lowers his hips, when the line of his cock presses down against Mei's, and Mei suspects it's similar for Kazuya, but they both end up groaning anyway. It's more like an emotional punch to the gut of realizing that they've done this to each other, that they're going to do more to each other, and Mei very suddenly feels like he might just explode from a lack of patience.
"Clothes," Mei croaks out, chest tight, like he can't get enough air into his lungs because of all the feeling and want he's carrying instead.
Kazuya's looking at him sort of wide-eyed, his cheeks red. "Yeah, okay," he says, and then everything gets very uncoordinated and frantic for a couple moments.
Mei is trying to kick off his jeans, so annoyed that they're caught around his ankle, and somehow Kazuya has ended up kissing his jaw while he's trying that, and they're both practically radiating the most tempting heat that Mei's ever imagined.
Finally, when he's free, he wraps that leg around Kazuya's hips and digs his heel into the small of Kazuya's back.
Kazuya opens his mouth.
Mei reaches up to cover it with his hand, giving Kazuya perhaps the most severe, threatening look he's ever directed towards him.
"If you ask me if I'm sure, I swear I'll -- do something, Kazuya--"
He moves his hand, lets it fall back to the bed.
Kazuya grins.
"Scary," he laughs, leaning down again, the look in his eyes so warm that Mei can hardly even swallow, so he's grateful to be kissed again.
The sharp intake of breath that they both make when their cocks touch feels terribly loud, but Mei just reaches up to grab the back of Kazuya's neck and keep him there for more kisses. If he pulls back, they'll both get shy, they'll overthink it, and Mei doesn't want that, he doesn't want either of them using their brain at all right now, actually.
Getting what he wants has never felt better in his life than right now, when Kazuya's cock slides against his own. The friction is part pleasure and part maybe too much, but Mei wants it more than anything, eagerly trying to rock his hips to get more movement between them.
It's not perfect, but they start to shift together and it's incredible, enough to make Mei moan openly and unabashedly against Kazuya's mouth at how sparks go up his spine every time Kazuya's dick rubs up against his own.
They're both leaking some, no surprise, and Mei's desperately curious about what it would feel like to swipe his hand over the top of them both and add that into the mix, but it's really all he can do right now to simply hold on and remember to breathe.
Somewhere along the line they stop kissing, ending up just panting into each other's mouths, breathing hard from the pleasure of it, the effort going into this. Mei's eyes flutter open eventually and he finds Kazuya staring at him, too, taking advantage of how close they are to actually look at his face.
Whatever blush was on Mei's face probably gets twice as prominent when he sees Kazuya staring, but it's okay. It's okay, because they're both vulnerable like this, naked and so obviously wanting and that really takes Mei's breath away.
Kazuya wants him, Kazuya's hard for him, Kazuya wants him, specifically, and that's the most honest and succinct way to put it all, isn't it? What it all boils down to, the affection, the way Kazuya's tried so hard, is that he wants Mei, and this physical act is just a way to cement that.
"Kazuya," he manages to get out, strained, sounding an awful lot like he's begging even if Mei doesn't know what he's begging for. "Kazuya, Kazuya, Kazuya," he keeps saying, like that name is the only thing that gives him any relief.
Kazuya's movements get more desperate, the way he's thrusting his hips gets rougher, more natural, like he's not thinking so much anymore, and Mei loves it, ends up pulling at the hair at the base of his neck, fingers sliding up into it.
When Kazuya finally speaks, it ruins Mei.
It's the hottest thing he's ever heard in his life, probably enough to make him lose it right then and there, and he's squeezing his eyes shut so hard, Mei thinks he might even be tearing up.
"I wanna make you come," Kazuya says, so low and breathless, whispering it like it's a secret, just for Mei's ears, and Mei's cock jerks just at his words, a high-pitched whine stuck in the back of his throat.
Mei's nodding quickly, literally unable to express his enthusiasm well enough, and just in case it wasn't clear, he starts talking, too.
"Fuck yes, Kazuya," Mei murmurs, hips bucking up to grind against him as best he can, "do it, come on, touch me--"
He's unprepared for the warm grip of Kazuya's hand around his cock and ends up arching up into the touch, exhaling hard and heavy. It's so good, how could it not be? It's Kazuya, it's Kazuya's hand, but it's not enough--
"-- touch me, don't be scared, harder, Kazuya," and finally, whether he likes it or not, "please."
Kazuya's fingers wrap around him properly, his grip tighter, and the first drag upwards makes Mei let out some sound that definitely feels like a sob.
It's amazing, too much for Mei to keep track of. One second his legs are wrapped around Kazuya's hips and then the other one of his heels is digging into the bed, the other nearly hanging off of it. He's writhing under the attention, trying to roll his hips in time with the way Kazuya strokes him.
"Mei, you look so good," he hears Kazuya say, and that doesn't help, Mei wishes that he'd been tuning him out, actually, if only to make this last longer. He wants to cover his face, wants to cover his ears, wants to just drown in the way it feels to have Kazuya jerk him off like this, still a little too slow, but purposeful, like he's taking his time to enjoy it. "Be louder," Kazuya says, a breathless laugh coming from him, "I know you can be, no one's here but me, let me enjoy it..."
It takes every bit of effort Mei has to keep his eyes open and watch the concentration on Kazuya's face, and then the open fondness there when he catches Mei's glance.
"Never been this hard in my life," Kazuya continues, looking sheepish, like there's something embarrassing left in the world after all this, like Mei has the capacity to laugh or would ever at all over the confession that Kazuya has never been this turned on before. Like Mei would laugh at Kazuya being more aroused than ever before because of Mei and Mei enjoying himself.
They're both sweaty, Kazuya's hair is sticking to his face and his neck, Mei's surely no better, but he's so handsome right now and Mei feels so safe, so cared for, so appreciated, it aches. Every single thing aches and Mei wants Kazuya to fix it for him so badly.
"Harder," Mei repeats, demanding even now, always, but the fact that it only makes Kazuya grin at him again is why Kazuya is perfect. Does he know that? Maybe Mei should tell him. "You're -- so fucking hot," he finishes, sounding upset about it. Kazuya drags his fist around Mei's cock more roughly, making Mei's toes curl, his breath coming even faster. "Perfect, like that, keep going, holy shit, Kazuya, I love you, I just really -- really love you."
He has to be crying by now, Mei is pretty certain, and maybe that's kind of mortifying. He's an emotional person, though, and this is definitely the boy of his dreams who's giving him all this attention, tending to him with so much dedication, and all the longing he's felt for Kazuya over the years feels so close to being satisfied, somehow.
"I know," Kazuya murmurs to him, his voice so close, pressing little kisses to Mei's mouth, his cheeks, not always landing in the right spot, distracted from the way he's jerking Mei off. "It's okay, you can come, I want you to, I really want you to, let go, it's okay, I love you too, Mei, come for me, Mei--"
He says the right things, the most comforting, encouraging things, and Mei absolutely loses it with something close to a shout, shaking under Kazuya's touch, hot come spilling from his cock, down the sides of it, over Kazuya's fingers.
That alone sort of makes Mei feel like he could probably come again, actually.
He's panting so hard that he feels dizzy, the world gone a little white, his head spinning. Kazuya is using his other hand to rub Mei's thigh, which is probably the only reason that Mei has any sense of grounding right now as he tries to catch his breath.
Because Kazuya is perfect, he untangles himself from Mei's legs, wipes Mei's come off on his bedsheets, and lays next to him, rubbing Mei's arm instead.
"Kazuya," Mei calls, even though he's right there, hand on Mei still, thigh pressing against Mei's. He shifts just enough to bump his shoulder against Kazuya's and press the top of his head against Kazuya's face. "Wow."
He gets a snort in response, which makes Mei feel this delightful burst of fond annoyance that Kazuya still has the capacity to do that even now. "Uh huh."
"Really good," he confirms, though there's almost certainly no need to. It should be so obvious. Mei's a mess. He can't even tell if he's crying now or not, too busy feeling numb all over.
"Yeah?" There are lips in Mei's hair, so tender. Maybe it's bizarre that he feels so shattered by this, has Kazuya being so gentle like Mei's fragile right now, but it's so overwhelming. It's the best thing he's ever felt in his life, all of Kazuya's focus on him that way, every touch an expression of love and their promise to stay together, to choose each other, to be good to each other.
It just means a lot. It sort of means everything, really.
"Yeah." He sighs, feeling kind of sluggish, his whole body heavy from that. His eyes open, apropos of nothing, and Mei feels slightly horrified.
He looks down.
"You're still really hard," Mei says, foolishly, blinking a couple of times. It's not that he can't process Kazuya's erection, really, it's just that he has to center himself again and not be so tired from his own enjoyment.
"Cool that you noticed," Kazuya says back to him, but there's no real trace of irritation. Somehow, he actually seems smug, which is just like him, but frustrating. Mei will let him feel pleased with himself for a good first handjob, though.
"Do you want me to..." He trails off.
"If you need a nap first, that's alright." Kazuya says it like he's being generous, but Mei knows when he's being teased. He huffs, his own pride absolutely not going to allow him to take a nap and let Kazuya feel like he was that good. Plus, it's not like he wants to leave him like this.
"Shut up, I don't need one," he snaps, rolling back onto his side. "Turn over." Shockingly, blessedly, Kazuya obeys. "You better not take too long, y'know."
"I'm not gonna," Kazuya rolls his eyes.
"I need my arm for pitching, so I'm not gonna wear it out like this, no matter how much I love you."
"Mei," he says, firm, and it's really only then that Mei lets himself take in the whole picture of Miyuki Kazuya like this, flushed and needy. There's a trail of precome down the side of Kazuya's cock, which is definitely the most obscene and tempting thing Mei's ever seen, and that means he's been close this entire time, which is -- flattering, and also so much to deal with. "I'm not gonna take long. But thanks. I appreciate your priorities."
He nods absently, sort of shellshocked due to the sight in front of him, unable to properly retort. Mei's distracted by the idea of how to tackle this, whether he's supposed to just -- start? Or whether he needs to give Kazuya a warning, that kinda thing...? Looking back, he barely even remembers how Kazuya started touching him. It feels like it just happened, part of a pleasant blur of sensations.
Oh, right. He'd asked.
"You gonna say it?" Mei asks, cheeky, trying to get a little bit of revenge for how transparent Kazuya had forced him to be. A while back, he'd said that Mei would want to hear the truth of things, too, and Mei sort of sees what he means. It's obvious what Kazuya needs from him, but he does want to hear it from his lips directly.
Kazuya heaves a sigh, taking a moment to roll his eyes as if he's really considering whether an orgasm is worth it or not.
Finally, he opens his mouth to speak, but then abruptly closes it again. A dusting of pink covers his cheeks. "Touch me?" Kazuya asks, and it's so satisfying to see him shy, not so steady and composed.
So of course Mei's going to do it, even though he's nervous, still, his hand a little shaky as he reaches out to wrap his fingers around Kazuya's cock. He's really warm to the touch and the weight of him against Mei's palm feels surreal, kind of dizzying, and Kazuya sucks in a breath through his teeth like the feeling is unexpected.
In contrast to the way that Kazuya had jerked him off, purposeful and hurried, which Mei can admit was largely in part due to his own impatience and rushing him, Mei decides to take his time.
His strokes are slow, his gaze fixed on Kazuya's face, watching his eyes flutter shut when Mei tugs upwards, taking in the way Kazuya's lips are parted and his brows start to furrow like he's frustrated or concentrating on it all with more intensity than Mei knows how to handle.
When Kazuya's eyes open, he frowns, which is actually really not an expression that Mei appreciates seeing when his hand is on Kazuya's dick?
"Less staring, more kissing," Kazuya shoots back at him, using Mei's own words against him from earlier.
It's a nice thought, though. Kazuya wants him to kiss him during this, and maybe that's obvious, maybe it's natural, but it's still nice. It still feels gratifying, another tiny piece of evidence that Kazuya is greedy for Mei in the same way that Mei is for him.
He'll give him the kiss, partly because Mei gets to enjoy that, too, but Mei's not letting himself be rushed. His fingers are tracing every inch of Kazuya's cock even though this very likely isn't the only time he'll get to explore, Mei still wants to learn it as well as he can, and it's fun, anyway, to make Kazuya squirm when he twists his wrist.
Eventually there's nothing to do but play with the head of it, and that's when Kazuya starts groaning for real. When Mei's thumb is rubbing circles over the slit, smearing his precome over him, Kazuya reaches out and grabs at his arm, fingers digging in, his hips rocking into the circle of Mei's grip.
"Fuck, Mei," he chokes out, sounding far more wrecked than Mei’s ever really heard him before. It takes him by surprise, how much Kazuya seems to like it, even though it probably shouldn’t. It’s just exciting, and reassuring, to know that Mei can make him feel this way, can give him that sort of pleasure.
Kazuya kisses him again, hard, and there’s something deeply appealing about how he’s still pushing his hips towards Mei’s hand, trying to get more. It’s honestly not all that easy to do this, since it’s a type of multitasking that Mei’s never experienced before, but he tries his best to actually speed up his efforts, figuring Kazuya deserves that much. The needy noises that are stuck in Kazuya’s throat are too tempting to muffle any further, so Mei pulls back a little, resisting the whine that Kazuya lets out (probably unconsciously) at having his kisses taken away.
“Good?” Mei asks, unnecessarily.
“Yeah,” Kazuya huffs out, nodding as he answers, a little frantic.
“You wanna come?” Mei dares saying, not at all used to the idea of talking about these things aloud yet, more than a little flustered by it. Kazuya had managed, though. He had said a lot of things, actually, and in hindsight that’s even more amazing.
“Yeah, Mei,” is the response, a little grumpiness in the tone, an impatience brought about by how obvious the answer should be. It’s still nice to hear his name from Kazuya’s lips right now, though, so Mei thinks he really can’t be blamed.
Kazuya hasn’t given him the same sort of direction that Mei asked (ordered) from him, so knowing what to do and what’ll be best for him is more difficult. It’s nerve-wracking, but Mei figures it’s hard to go wrong with more speed, more friction, and Kazuya really does seem to like what Mei does with his thumb…
His boyfriend’s eyes are shut, his head tilted back a bit, pressing into the mattress, and every time he arches up into Mei’s touch, Mei’s breath hitches even though he’s not the one being touched now.
“Mei,” Kazuya gasps, and there’s something desperate in his voice, like he’s pleading, and that’s such a heady feeling. “Don’t stop…”
“Not gonna,” he promises, voice soft and hushed, planting a terribly gentle kiss on Kazuya’s forehead that gives away just how besotted Mei is with him. The flush on Kazuya’s cheeks only deepens, and he turns his head to the side like he wants to hide it, but there’s no pillow there to cover his embarrassment. For Mei, hearing Kazuya tell him sweet things really did help, and he wonders if Kazuya is that same sort of weak? Do the words excite him? Send shivers up his spine?
“Kazuya,” he starts, and it’s fascinating that that alone seems to make Kazuya whimper, “lemme feel you? I wanna hear it, too, and just-- I want you to come. For me. ‘Cause of me. Just for me.” He’s selfish and greedy even now, but Mei wants desperately to have Kazuya all to himself, to make it so good for him that even when he’s alone, when they’re apart, he thinks of how Mei’s hand felt on him.
Mei’s never going to let Kazuya pretend that he finds Mei’s demanding nature annoying again, because it seems like those greedy words really are part of what help get him to finish.
The sound he lets out is sort of pained; Mei may have been louder, but Kazuya lasts longer, groaning in this wounded way, his cock pulsing against Mei’s hand, spilling over his palm. It’s a surreal feeling, having Kazuya’s come on any part of him, and it being the result of Mei’s efforts, but his heart honestly leaps at the sight. Success has never felt better, and that says a lot, given how much winning has meant to Mei, but this is different.
This is about Kazuya, and what Mei wants to make last between them, and keeping Kazuya happy. Each game is a new chance, a fresh, clean slate, but a relationship isn’t like that. The arguments and disappointments will stack up over time, even if they try to let things go. He’s really relieved that this moment won’t be one of those, and that he’ll probably have many more chances now to make his technique even better. It just feels good, his heart full of pride and so much love for this boy, to be able to make him feel good.
A part of Mei feels like bursting into giggles, hysterical, just giddy from it all.
“Mei,” Kazuya calls, his voice low, sounding kind of sleepy, cutting into his thoughts. He looks sleepy, too, with his eyes sort of hazy, but there’s a smile on his lips, an undeniable one. A sated Miyuki Kazuya is a beautiful sight, one Mei won’t forget any time soon.
He’s very quick about wiping off his hand on the part of the blankets Kazuya had already gotten dirty so that they can cuddle again.
Laying next to each other on their sides, staring into each other’s eyes, knowing what they’ve done… It’s painfully, wonderfully intimate in a way that makes Mei’s chest feel so tight. He yanks up the sheets to cover them a little, even though he likes the view, just because he doesn’t want Kazuya to get cold.
“Hi,” Mei whispers, feeling shy.
“Hi.” An arm reaches out, pulls Mei closer by the hip, until they can fit their legs together. They’re both a little sticky from sweat and come alike, but neither of them seem to mind. The closeness is nice, comforting in a way that Mei didn’t expect he might want or need, but it’s good.
What’s too cheesy to say? They’ve gotten so much more comfortable and open with emotions and being honest with each other, but this is such a big step that everything still feels vulnerable. Mei tends to be sappy, to think long-term, to think of Kazuya as his perfect match, and that’s been kind of pressuring in the past. Is how he feels after this too much? Because it feels like a big deal, like something so very right, and Mei still thinks he could probably cry again from just the fact that it happened, let alone how nice it all was.
Mei decides on burying his face against Kazuya’s chest so that he won’t have to see any expression that he makes, just in case it’s not a good reaction.
“I love you,” he mumbles, not really wanting to hide these thoughts after all, not after something so big and new between them. “I really love you, Kazuya. And I’m glad… that this was with you. You can laugh or whatever, but I’m happy.”
Mei had certainly thought about sex before this, before he and Kazuya even really started making out on the regular and something like this had seemed to be on the table. He’d known very well what he was risking by wanting it with Miyuki Kazuya, how he could be teased and laughed at even during the act itself, but he’d still wanted it with him. There was no other boy that Mei admired and trusted so much, no one else that Mei thought of as so painfully cute. It was an easy choice, as with everything: when he thought about the future, about new experiences, anything, he wanted Kazuya with him.
He’d wanted Kazuya to be his first everything, and so far it was working out. The next, much more ambitious goal, was to have Kazuya be his last everything, too. Even more ideally, his only.
Whether it panned out that way would take a long time to discover, but this felt like a big step in the right direction and it was definitely appropriate to say that this was a dream come true for Mei. Kazuya deserved to have an inkling of that, to understand, even a little, how much Mei treasured this.
It’s quiet for a bit, but Kazuya’s hand is running up and down his back, which feels nice physically, but mostly emotionally, since it seemed like a sign that Kazuya wasn’t going to run away. Maybe that was mean of Mei, too, to act like that was still a concern when they had just taken this step together that, presumably, showed just how much Kazuya also wanted to be together, but it was always a little bit of a lingering fear in the back of Mei’s mind.
“I mean,” Kazuya starts, stops, shifts a little bit, but doesn’t pull away. “I mean, me too. I said what I said ‘cause I meant it. It was good because it was with you. And ‘cause it was you, I wasn’t as nervous.”
Well. Mei can’t relate to that…
He keeps talking, though.
“I knew if I sucked at something, you’d just yell at me and complain and make me practice until I did better, instead of just kicking me out of bed, so. It was gonna end up okay.”
Okay, fair enough. That does sound like him, Mei can privately concede to that much.
It’s so tender that it sort of aches, but Kazuya kisses the top of his head, and Mei melts, falls for him for the millionth time, probably.
“I do love you, Mei. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, and I wouldn’t lead you on. You can think what you want, but…” There’s another pause, like Kazuya’s considering what words to use, and even though Mei can’t see him, he knows Kazuya is blushing. He can practically feel it. “I’m not gonna lose to you in feelings, okay? So quit acting like you’re on a whole different level here.”
It’s a little awkward, phrasing it like that, like it’s a competition and the amount of love they have for each other is a skill, but Mei understands exactly what he means anyway. Mei’s self-centered and thinks very highly of himself, his abilities, and probably his feelings for Kazuya, too. It’s weird, since the feeling of ‘I definitely love him more’ isn’t exactly a good thing to have confidence in, because it’s rooted in so much insecurity, but… This is Kazuya’s way of telling Mei that that’s not true, that he loves him equally, that Mei’s love isn’t some ridiculously large amount that Kazuya’s can never measure up to.
It’ll take time for that to sink in and truly become something Mei can believe fully, there’s no way it could actually feel true just yet, but it’s definitely a sentiment that he’s happy to hear. Kazuya doesn’t talk about his feelings lightly, so if he wasn’t just as confident himself in just how much he cares for Mei, those words never would have passed his lips. So it’s good. It helps. It’s exciting, and it’s cute how he phrased it. It fits them.
Mei can snuggle closer and smile to himself because Kazuya is the best boyfriend, even if other people might not think so. He tries, and anything Miyuki Kazuya has really tried at, he does well.
Except soccer, but maybe he wasn’t really trying. They can go with that, at least, to spare his ego.
“Okay,” Mei agrees quietly, just letting Kazuya know he heard him, understands the weight of his words. He presses his lips to Kazuya’s chest, to the skin right above his heart, and doesn’t even care if it’s too sappy. He’s tired, and Kazuya is warm, the bed is soft, and the chuckle that he can feel rumble in Kazuya’s chest is his favorite thing right now.
Vaguely, and sleepily, Mei wonders if this counts as a separate moment from the actual sex they’d had, or whether it’s all just one big thing. Because falling asleep like this for the first time definitely also deserves a spot on the list of happiest moments of his life, but maybe it’s silly to separate them?
How long is a moment? He’ll have to think about it later.