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Brock Forbes and Parker Parra, two cards in the same deck, reunite in Boston the day before Parker is supposed to fly back to Baltimore. They wander around the city, exchanging polite conversation until they can find somewhere private. Eventually, they find themselves on the crumbling roof of an abandoned building, silently watching the stars rise and fall before them.
After a while, Parker finds her tongue. “Hey Brock?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you… I…”
Brock looks at them, brow furrowed. “What’s wrong?”
“Do you regret not making the deal?”
A nervous bark of a laugh escapes from him. “Which deal are you talking about?”
“That’s fair. She always liked you more.”
“She did.”
“I think I know what you’re talking about though.”
A minute passes.
“Honestly, Parker? I don’t know. I… you know what it’s like to be fifth dimensional. It… I don’t…”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain it to me.”
They both know what it’s like to have your consciousness pulled in a million different directions, to take two steps forward and find yourself five hours in the past. To see things that have already passed and haven’t even happened yet at the same time.
“Fuck her. She shouldn’t have made you choose.”
“She shouldn’t have made you choose either.”
For a moment, Brock becomes less defined, parts of them seemingly splitting off and evaporating into nothingness, before snapping back into focus. “Yeah.”
More silence. Parker squirms, then, “So. Do you like Boston?”
“It’s definitely… different. More green.”
“That’s not a no.”
“It’s a maybe.”
“You’ll be fine. The fans will love you.”
“They love everyone.”
“Which is exactly why they’ll love you.” She tries to give him a warm smile, and almost succeeds. “You’ll be fine.”
Brock looks away, expression unreadable. “You’re probably glad to be going home, huh?”
Parker gives him the smallest of nods. “Sure.”
“It’s not that bad anymore, I don’t think. People have mellowed out. It won’t be that bad.”
They let out a heavy sigh. “It’s… it’s not about the people, Brock. I haven’t visited since I left. I couldn’t. Every time I thought about it, I started remembering everything again. With Her. When we left. When we came back. Every time I thought about going back, every reason why I didn’t want to would sit in my brain until I gave up. I don’t know how you stayed there for that long, after everything.”
Brock runs a hand over the top of their head, then down their face, avoiding the mother of pearl that stains the left half of it. Their fingers bounce anxiously on their legs. “I… my… fuck.”
Parker waits.
After what feels like an age, he breaks, sobbing like a kid as faint images of himself slough off like the skin of a moulting reptile. “I can’t leave, Parker. Ever since we came back, there’s always a part of me that’s still there, and I know it’s still there because I can fucking feel it and see through its eyes, and it doesn’t matter how much I look for it because I can never find it and it’s been months and I’m so fucking sorry I’m trading places with you but I can’t fucking do this anymore and I- I’m sorry.”
They sit together, watch the sun rise, and leave together.