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He’s 5 and he doesn’t understand.
Deku is quirkless and it’s more or less fine. He’s still the same whiny brat that Katsuki’s always known.
He still has a big-ass head, trips over his feet and gets too excited for his own good. He talks 10 miles a minute and is the only one that can keep up with Katsuki’s All Might obsession.
He understands all of this.
He understands that he’s better than Deku too. He’s better than all of the kids in his class. All of them combined even.
He understands that his quirk is powerful, and he’ll be an unstoppable hero because of it. He’s got a lot of potential (he’s looked up the word and he agrees with everyone that keeps telling him this) and it’s only natural of him to use it to his every advantage.
He understands that because Deku doesn’t have a quirk, he can never be a hero.
People tell him he’s very smart for his age but Katsuki knows he’s smart, period.
He understands a lot, and what he doesn’t? He learns.
But there’s one thing that he just can’t understand.
He’s tried to talk to people, get their opinions–but they don’t understand either.
They don’t understand why he’s confused; they don’t understand what he means, they don’t understand why he’s scared.
They tell him that he’s kind. That he’s patient. That he’s a good friend for sticking by the weak, stupid, quirkless kid that has a ridiculous dream that will go nowhere.
Even knowing all this he still doesn’t understand.
It’s a Sunday, on a warm day sometime in the summer and his mom says he’s driving her crazy. He’s been in a bad mood most of the morning, now bleeding into the afternoon, and he’d much rather blow up the small obstacle course that he has in his backyard, but his mom had ‘committed’ to this playdate and they were going ‘whether you like it or not Katsuki!’
His mom knocks on the Midoriya’s door, ignoring his indignation.
Inko opens the door with a smile, welcoming them into her home with a jittery hand, in the middle of making snacks it seems like.
As they step into the threshold, his mom shoots him a stern look but he whips his head away so he doesn’t have to look her in the eyes. He pouts, crosses his arms and scuffs his shoes but doesn’t complain when Auntie Inko is in earshot. She’s excessively kind to him but it never feels patronizing like some of the other adults do.
“Izuku! Katsuki-chan is here!”
Deku comes thundering down the steps, happy giggles bubbling up as he darts up to Katsuki like a whirlwind, completely heedless of Katsuki’s poor mood.
Business as usual.
Deku drags him outside and down the Midoriya’s walkway, jumping up and down and babbling about his day today (mainly that his mom had made him his favorite breakfast this morning and apparently it was so amazing he shit rainbows or something).
Their mom’s eventually come outside, Auntie carrying a small cooler with whatever snack’s she's prepared for everyone later on in the day.
Using it as his signal, Deku takes off. Katsuki’s hand clasped tightly between his own and swinging slightly as he bounds ahead.
They make it to the park and Katsuki kicks at the woodchips lining the outer edge of the park. If one of his sparks caught then they'd have to pay for setting the park on fire so they usually go to the rubber coated baby park behind it, but Deku pulls him past the play structures and into the copse of trees just a little further.
Their moms are settling on their usual park bench, talking about whatever mom things that matter to them.
His hand slides through Deku’s and he comes to a stop, looking around at the trees and the green head of hair that matches.
“Where are we going, nerd? We’ll set the trees on fire if we play heroes in here.”
“Huh?” Deku’s head tilts to the side and Katsuki’s fists spark for aggravation, though he takes care to curb them so the dry pine needles don’t catch.
The dumbass’ expression clears and his face lights up in understanding.
“Oh! I thought we could play knights today! I read this book about-”
Deku launches into a description of King Arthur of Camelot, the knights of the round table and the magic of Merlin.
Katsuki stands there for a minute, listening as Deku rambles while gathering a couple sticks together, tying a long and short one together with a shoelace he must have taken from his house before Katsuki got there.
“You don’t want to play heroes today?”
Everyone wants to play with the future hero. It’s been months and kids in his class still come up to him asking him if he can use his quirk to play hero, make designs, blow up cans so they can scream and run around and never leave him alone.
Deku shakes his head and with a bit of concentration and a grunt ties off the second makeshift sword before looking up.
“Oh! I’m sorry Kacchan! Did you want to play heroes?”
His swords hang by his sides and Katsuki tilts his head, glaring more out of confusion than anything else.
“You always want to play heroes though.”
He sniffs and looks away, disliking how whiny he sounded but unwilling to take it back.
Deku’s smile comes back out and he offers the hilt of the sword he made for Katsuki. “Silly Kacchan, I just like playing with you!”
After a moment, Katsuki takes the sword and Deku swings his own in little circles happily, “Besides! We can play heroes tomorrow!”
The wood is rough in his hand but when Deku playfully taps their swords together, he knocks himself out of it and swings back.
They play for hours and Katsuki gets his sword stuck in a thicket that they pretend is a stone and that his sword is Excalibur. Deku’s the one that gets it free but before Katsuki can freak Deku tells him that because it was Katsuki’s sword, that makes them both King.
It’s a good day, a really good day.
It sticks in the back of his head for months, a lingering question that he can’t parse out, that he can’t even figure out how to ask.
He wonders. It can’t be summarized, but he wonders still.
Why?