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People keep coming into Hawke's house when Hawke isn't there.
This culminates in Hawke walking into her mansion and finding the remains of a brunch and everyone sitting on her living room rug playing wicked grace with her dog taking her spot.
Varric has been teaching the dog how to play cards.
(The dog is better than Anders. Anders is terrible. Vengeance cannot lie.)
Hawke stands there for a moment absorbing the tableau before saying, "Did you even save me any food??"
Bodahn bounces over with a broad smile. "I saved you a plate from these rascals, milady!"
She takes it and grumbles. "At least someone cares it's my house."
"Of course we care!" Varric calls, "It means we don't have to clean up!"
"Oh no," Fenris mutters, "it's the elf's job to clean up after her masters."
Everyone glances at Fenris's glower, up at the stairs where they can hear Orana singing to herself, and back at their spread of crumbs and crumpled napkins.
Aveline starts stacking empty plates.
Hawke sits down and feeds her dog a bit of biscuit. He thumps his tail on the rug as Anders tries to sweep crumbs onto a napkin with his hands.
This is the first time it's really felt like home since mom died. Vague guilt motivating people to do chores- it makes something catch in the back of her throat.
Hawke stuffs food in her face to drown whatever feelings are trying to happen. The dog keeps begging morsels, which she allows. It looks like he was doing pretty well at cards- he has the second largest stack of sweetmeats. (That might be because he doesn't understand all the rules and has an adorable bluffing face, but she's decided it's all natural skill.)
"You're useless, abomination." Fenris mutters at Anders as he snatches up napkins.
"Well someone looks a lot better after that hole in his shoulder yesterday- oh, right, maybe it's because a mage healed it?" Anders snipes back, brushing crumbs off his sleeves.
Aveline comes for the last two platters, and Hawke follows her back into the kitchen with an empty plate.
"But do we have to wash them?" Varric asks, and Merrill shrugs.
"Oh gosh," Isabela says as she picks up a bucket, "Every time I try to wash dishes I just get so- wet."
She tips it over just as Aveline leans past to put the platters down, soaking them both. Aveline gasps, outraged, and Hawke takes a moment to appreciate the way Isabela's posing to tighten her wet blouse as much as possible. It's impressive.
Merrill tilts her head. "Yours are just so- big," she says, and glances at Aveline too, oblivious to the guard captain's red face and clenched fists. "I've never seen them like that on elves," Merrill continues, "I never realized mine were so... little." She looks down at herself, pouting a little.
Hawke carefully slips around the outside of the group to set her plate down. She sets a hand on Aveline's shoulder, hoping to diffuse the tension a little.
"I think humans just get bigger round bits," Isabela replies consolingly. "We're just more- jiggly." She demonstrates.
Merrill watches, fascinated. "Are large breasts very important?" She asks, wondering.
"Not really," Isabela replies, "It's all in how you display them."
Aveline snorts. "Like wares for sale. (you whore.)"
Well, Hawke tried.
"What was that, ser man-hands?" Isabela turns her head slowly.
"You heard me, slut." Aveline crosses her arms.
Hawke and Merrill set about washing the dishes as the familiar bickering washes over them. It sort of blends in with the increasingly loud angry voices coming from the hall- Anders and Fenris are still going at it. Actually, that's getting pretty loud. Hawke should probably go interrupt.
She dries her last fork and gives Merrill a friendly wave as she slips around Isabela and Aveline, who are now standing practically nose to nose glaring at each other. (Isabela is saying something about Donnic and balls? Tuning her out is an art, really.)
She finds Fenris and Anders shouting at each other in the living room. This isn't a cause for worry, but the bluish glows starting around them both kind of are.
"Andraste's knicker-weasels, there will be no actual fighting in my house." She huffs and crosses her arms at them. "You can both try to kill each other later, when you're not in my house and no one is trying to kill us all. Now turn around and walk away from each other, you're scaring my staff."
Anders looks over his shoulder guiltily at Bodahn, hiding behind a desk.
"Fine," Fenris grumps, and stomps off.
"Yes, fine, fine." Anders mutters, and flounces up the stairs.
He's never really gotten the hang of stomping. It's probably the robes.
Hawke sighs and massages her temple. "It's safe now Bodahn," she says, "the boys won't be blowing up the house today."
"Right, right, of course milady!" Bodahn replies, "I was more worried about another chandelier incident, to be honest."
She laughs a little. "Better go find your boy."
Bodahn sighs. "He always does run off when there's shouting." He trots out of the room, calling for Sandal.
Speaking of losing people... where's Varric? She hasn't seen him in a while. He's the friend least likely to get into trouble- but when he does, it is the worst trouble.
She turns around just as Aveline comes out of the kitchen hallway, slightly drier.
"Hawke," she says, "I've got an afternoon patrol."
"Right," Hawke follows her to the door, "Have fun, bash some heads, don't do anything I would do."
Aveline shakes her head. "Thank you for having us over."
Hawke rolls her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, like I had a choice."
By the time she returns to the living room, Anders is poking around the bookshelves. Again.
She leaves him to his manifesto hoarding (it's like he's some kind of demented squirrel) and looks around for Varric. Fenris has joined Isabela and Merrill, to his dismay, and gives her the most betrayed look when she abandons him to their clutches.
She eventually finds Varric in the little garden outside. He's scratching away on some parchment in the evening light, humming. She sits next to him on the bench and listens to laughter filter out through the windows. Something about flirting classes for elves?
Insects bumble by, buzzing. "It's still hot here," she says as she looks out at the green. "Ferelden's crotch deep in snow by now."
Varric laughs to himself. "Probably, Hawke. I hear Fereldens have to sleep with their dogs to stay warm."
"Oh yes," Hawke replies, "it's wonderfully comfortable, but I've only got the one mabari, and that's not enough for a dog pile." She sighs. "So I suppose the heat is for the best."
He nods. "I've always liked warmer climates."
She grins as he leans back against the wall. "How else would you show off your chest hair?"
They both laugh, and fall back into an easy silence.
Something crashes inside the house. It doesn't sound particularly important.
Hawke nods a little to herself. "It's nice."