Archive of Our Own

With an exorbitant amount of glee burning in his chest, Ray could say that he was pleased with the way things were now. He didn’t have to look over his shoulder afraid that someone was going to destroy him, nor did he have to fear that his gift from God was going to be taken away from him. Things were finally moving to where they needed to be and nothing could remove this bliss from his heart. He finally knew what it felt like to have everything and anything he could ever want, and he knew it was thanks to his angel he had all of it. She delivered his victory on a silver platter and he knew that he wanted to make sure she was rewarded for it for the rest of their days. 

His Savior had assured him that nobody would bother them. It was his reward for finalizing the next step of the plan, what he knew to be the last piece of the puzzle she wanted. Once that was taken care of and there was nobody else standing in the way of Mint Eye’s salvation, Ray would be free. Free from the daily grind of his fingers into paste against a keyboard. He would be allowed to partake of the pleasure that everyone was afforded as members who lived in Magenta’s walls. Sure, he had gained small rewards along the way, but the notion that he would be able to wake up in the morning without anything to do was the strangest thing. He was already dreaming of all the ways to make every day perfect. 

Perfect for Lilac. 

Of course, he was perfect in her eyes. That’s what her delicate craft had ordained long ago. It was hard to believe he could be perfect in anyone’s eyes, but whenever she looked at him with a glossy gaze, he knew. He knew that she was genuine in that belief. She wasn’t capable of lying to him. She had no point in lying to him. Just as he had no point in lying to her about what was inside of his heart. She adored his infatuated eyes that only grew by the minutes and he loved the feeling of her fingers clutching at his sleeve as if she were afraid that he might disappear if she let go. 

They were made for each other, through and through. That was what God decided. Why else would he drop her in his lap with all the answers he needed? There was always a reason for something happening and he knew the answer to this one. He didn’t need his Savior to confirm it, though, hearing her praise did help in the beginning when he felt so winded by the fact that there was someone who felt a burning desire in their heart the same way that he felt it. It was an overwhelming sensation that hadn’t gone away from the moment he saw her eyes sparkle. This was what he wanted, and by extension, he knew it was what she had wanted. 

Tonight was just one of many nights that would become their future. 

“You kept me waiting, Ray,” a fan hit his chest as he stood in front of his love. “You said Savior only wanted a minute of your time… it’s been ten. Don’t tell me you did that on purpose.” 

“Does it make you jealous?” A smile crossed his lips. He was almost amused that Lilac was that flippant with him lately. It was a change from the months when the elixir had left her in quite a stupor. If she dared to admit that… oh, his shuttering heart burned. 

“My time is yours… and your time is mine,” she whispered. 

Ray caught her wrist in his hand and nodded. That seemed to quell any silent monsters in the back of her mind. She was very happy to feel that. Something he’d noticed about her from the start was that she craved the feeling of his hand against hers as if it were a lifeline. He understood the feeling. He wanted to be held, too. He wanted to feel the warmth of someone when the world felt cold and barren. It was a simple thing but such a small gesture could get rid of any doubt for a long time. “My heart is yours and your heart is mine.” 

It didn’t surprise him when she interlaced his fingers with hers. 
No, it was no surprise. He warned her that he would be busy with the Savior for a short amount of time in the midst of the party. Of course, it ran longer than he expected. That wasn't a surprise given how much extra work had to be taken care of lately. It helped that they had more ways to ascertain funding and members to further cement Paradise as the place that it was. But, with extra numbers and funding, came the reality that there needed to be more work done in the background. He was the only person the Savior trusted to take care of those pieces. 

Sure, he had vetted and entrusted certain believers with technical skills to be able to run things in the background when he wasn't around, but that didn't mean that he could fully leave it alone. It didn't matter how many people were there to pick up the slack. He was the one in charge of and it meant that anything that went right or wrong was under his authority. That was a hard pill to swallow but a necessary one. His Savior trusted him and he didn’t want to lose that trust. 

The RFA had been dismantled. They no longer existed the way they did before. Once the pawns were played, nothing could take them back. The liar and traitor had been given their dues and would pay for them rightly. His brother was locked nice and tight in the basement where nobody could reach him. The Savior was making use of him in some ways, but for the most part, his misery was left in Ray’s hands. It’d felt exhilarating to dole out the whip and hand of salvation firsthand, the buzzing in the back of his head during those moments felt like a blessing from God. 

At some point amid the first round of punishment, his mind had gone blank from the anger and contempt he felt, but when he awoke, his bruised hands felt relief. Wild laughter burned and felt like it was his voice but not his at the same time. Again and again, again and again, again and again, and again and again. It was hard to describe the way it made him feel but all he knew was that it was euphoric. It was as if his fear of being destroyed by the world was erased in a moment. There was no reason to be afraid if he was the strongest person in the room. There was no reason to feel pathetic or worthless or airheaded. Ray was what he needed to be.

He was what his oracle’s words foretold. He was every bit of what she had penned on paper, and now he could substantiate it. That was why he was so happy when he got to look into her eyes, now. There was a time in the past when he felt as though he would never be good enough. For years, he felt like nothing he did could ever be enough. From the moment that he was born, the only thing he had been told was that he would never be good enough. He could never be good enough because he was born a parasite. His mother saw him as a leech. She never hesitated to tell him that until it was engraved into the back of his head. For a long time, he believed that. 

He was useful until he wasn't or he was a nuisance until he wasn't. For once, someone had looked at him and seen something worthwhile and he never wanted to let go of that feeling. It wasn't like when his Savior saw potential in him. It wasn’t like the day when she whispered that he would be her son who fought through the pain to become what she knew him to be. It was the chance for someone to see him and love him at first glance. It wasn't about what he could do for her or what he couldn't do, she saw something that nobody else did. She saw value and worth in who he was right then. There was no hesitation or whisper otherwise. It was her honest words written on the paper. 

He didn't care how it made him look when he would hum underneath his breath, turning around a corner with a dazed smile on his face knowing someone was waiting for him at the end of a hard day. It was a daydream for him and nothing could take that away. She was going to have what she always wanted and he was going to be right there to watch it firsthand. Ray was a prince who dreamed of waiting at her beck and call. 

Nobody was going to stand in his way. He worked himself to the grindstone to be able to have this experience in the first place. All Ray wanted was a simple look of her brown eyes reflected in his. It was so close that he could almost taste it and his heart couldn't stop pounding at the realization it was within his reach. It was no longer him reaching out toward a flickering green light in the distance. His paradise was right within his hands and all he needed to do was close his palm to possess it. It would be forever his. It would be his. Nobody would take it away from him. The redhead wouldn't take it away from him. His so-called brother wouldn’t get to taste the luxury of love. He would be left barren and isolated from the world the same way he left him. 

The redhead would never be a threat again. He would be locked away nice and tight and put to use whenever it was helpful to paradise. He wasn't going to die. In the same way that the traitor wasn’t going to die. Death would have been a blessing for them. They deserved to live with the weight of their sins and consequences. But, for now, they were out of sight and out of mind. It was better that way. They didn't deserve to enjoy the pleasures of paradise. Only the downtrodden people of society who had been kicked a hundred times deserved to know what it felt like to be free. They needed to live with demons and the darkness that came with them. 

The same way they tortured Ray and his Savior. If they were ever to atone for their sins, not that Ray imagined they could, they would need to go through everything that they had forced upon the people around them. It was only fair. Turnabout play was fair. They were once the Kings who had everything and now they had nothing. There was nothing to show for the choices they made. All they had left was the darkness, and really, it was what they earned for making a deal with the devil. 

As of right now, they were out of his mind. His revenge was already guaranteed so it wasn't like he needed to spend his days making sure that they were being tortured. The best way to make sure that they were tortured would be to leave them alone for a while until they were begging for torture. Until they were begging for attention like scraps. No, they deserved to live the way he had: Left alone abandoned in the darkness with nobody around to save them from their worst nightmares. 

He knew the best way to make sure that continued would be to focus on his work. It was going in the right direction, he just needed to make sure that it stayed on target. It was all going according to plan, but that wasn’t all he wanted. It was fine to stick to the status quo and let the world level out, but it was better to make sure nothing would ever get in the way of their future goals and intentions. His Savior had what she wanted and that was great. They had the benefit of ensuring that their newest members were committed to making things perfect. Jumin Han, Jaehee Kang, Yoosung Kim, and Hyun Ryu were more than happy to cooperate. Their goals were being kept thanks to how willing they were to work. 

Ray wanted to make sure it was not only kept but furthered. He’d proved himself time and time again, but he refused to fall behind in any way. He was better than that. He’d proved it before but success was guaranteed on his ability to keep it on the right track. He might have been given everything he needed to take care of the present, but his future was only guaranteed in some ways. All the information had been handed to him on a silver platter, but it was up to him to make sure they continued down that path. 

It would be a waste of time if he couldn't ensure Mystic Messenger was used for the correct purpose. All that information couldn't have gone to waste. There was still so much left that could take care of anyone that got in their way in the future. His Savior told him that that could be taken care of in due time, but for now, it was time for him to enjoy his victory. It wasn't like he didn't want to take a break, but it was important to him that his future wasn't ripped away from him again. He didn't want to taste what it felt like to be free and then have it ripped away from him once more. That would be like a sad dream. There was no time in his life for sad dreams. As much as he wanted to enjoy himself, there was a part of him that wanted to keep working to make sure that nothing got in their way. 

It helped that it wasn't a one-man show anymore, though. Any of the pieces that he couldn't put together were being taken care of by those people. Each of them was committed to erasing any doubt in people’s minds of Magenta’s origins. The now former members of the RFA had settled nicely into their roles as members of Mint Eye. Ray couldn’t have cared less about them, though. They were meant to be playthings for his Savior, after all. She was guiding them to cover any tracks that were noticed by the wrong people. Mint Eye was meant for the weak and helpless, not the strong and monstrous. As long as they could keep up their end of the bargain, Ray wasn't worried about it. 

Jumin Han and Jaehee Kang could control any bad publicity. They could get rid of people who said something ill-intentioned or misinformed. It wasn't that surprising to Ray given how much money could transform people. It went to prove what he thought about the world. Those people who are on top that could control anything knew how to bend the will of anyone that got close. It was only good that his Savior took pity on Jumin’s lonely heart and Jaehee’s desire to feel whole that those two were of use to them now. 

Yoosung Kim was… a mess. It was his humble nature and attitude that could easily sway anybody that spoke to him. It was easy to believe that he was worthless to them given how little reach he held, but that wasn't the case. He was unsuspecting and that was a damn good thing. It meant people wouldn't think much of him if he said a little something here or there about a place where everyone belonged. It was fruitful on a college campus. Ray had discounted him at first, but his Savior knew all the ways to motivate him in the right direction. 

Hyun Ryu was the star power, to say the least. He had a way with words. Not that Ray understood what it meant to have the star power or to have influence over people just for a simple skill. He didn't care much for celebrities. But, it made everything neat and tidy with a bow on top. When there was an endorsement given by somebody that people thought of as trustworthy and humble, nobody would ever think twice. Honestly, it was obvious that people were falling for a Honey Trap just because he had good looks. Whatever made people better understand paradise, that's what the Savior had said. 

It was hard to let go of control, though. It wasn't as if those people were untrustworthy. They had been manipulated and tricked just the same as the rest of them. But, he had a hard time trusting that they would make things work out the way they needed to. it wasn't as if they were used to the life he’d become accustomed to. They had their hardships, but did they know what it was like to be on crunchtime to defeat a liar? A traitor? A monster? His Savior reassured him that he should have faith. After all, he knew that Lilac was fond of the RFA. She cared for them in a way… not the way she cared for him… no… in a way she’d care for a passing fancy or a shiny toy. 

If his delicate flower saw them as useful in her journal, he knew that they could be of use in some way. He just needed to let it play out. That was tough for him. He didn't want to believe that people could do things the right way for him, but it was out of his hand at this point. 

Ray wanted everything to go the right way. It was hard to know that there were things he couldn't take care of by himself. Now that you tasted what it felt like to be powerful enough to take control of the situation, it became increasingly harder to trust the people around him with the information he possessed. It was on a need-to-know basis, anyway. Of course, nobody was allowed the luxury of things he knew. Only he and his Savior were allowed to know the extent of what was inside that application on Lilac’s phone. His future ideas were brimming with what they were going to discover very soon. 

Hopefully, all of that information would be enough to cement the future. His Savior warned him that it was going to take time to unravel the final act because he wasn’t yet ready to know everything, but he would be. She said to him, “My precious son, I know you want to know it all. But, trust in me and your wife. If it were the right time to act, she would come to me first and we would discuss our next move together. The fact alone that she has not assumed something for the worst means that we are on the right path. It is thanks to your delicate care and her understanding of our end goal that we are where we are today. Why don't you enjoy the party tonight, first? We’ll discuss more in the coming weeks.”

He pushed it out of sight and out of mind. It was something that needed to be taken care of. But, he didn't want to neglect the most important person in his life while he was thinking about how to protect her future. Ray knew that if he let himself fixate on the future, he would forget to live in the moment. He needed to enjoy himself. He was allowed to have it. As much as his mind was filled with his conversation with his Savior about what was to come soon, he knew he didn’t want to let a moment like this slip by. 

It would be a waste of a perfect evening to allow himself to Sully his hands when his princess didn't need to see that. She didn't deserve to see any more trials and tribulations. Her life had been filled with enough hardship, and now he wanted to make sure that she was as far away as she could be from it. 

Ray shook the thoughts from his mind. It was important to stay focused but it was also crucial that he made sure he wasn't neglecting his love. Lilac’s eyes were trained on him like a moth to the flame. She had been waiting for him for a while. He was happy she wasn't upset with him. The twinkle of something playful in her eyes told him she was happy he’d returned. 

It didn't take that much to make her happy. Some might say it was sad that it only took a couple of words to make her smile appear on her face, but he didn't see it that way. He knew what it felt like to be starved for affection and sometimes all you needed was the smallest feeling of a hand against your cheek. It was better to appreciate the little things. It meant that every gesture felt like it was giving a thousand miles instead of an inch. 

While he was spending his time with the Savior going over the last details that needed to be taken care of, the rest of Magenta was captivated by a party to celebrate their progress over the past year. It was the start of an eternal party that would never end. That was why she was dressed to the nines. There was a healthy amount of princess outfits in her wardrobe that he had purposefully chosen for her for these situations, and she had chosen to be the darkest rose. Ray thought she looked divine in anything she wore, but tonight, in particular, her exposed shoulders made his knees quiver. 

She tapped the tip of her fan right against his chest with her free hand, “You're thinking too hard again, aren't you? Don't you remember what I said? You don't need to worry about anything anymore. All the obstacles in your way are gone for good. It doesn’t matter what’s next… you won, my prince. Tonight is about victory, isn’t it? So why waste your time getting worked up with the Savior? Why not spend all your time with me? I don’t want to have a party if you’re not there… What's a party with n—no prince? What’s a ballroom w—without my happily ever after?"

The tremor at the end of her voice reminded him how easy it was to frighten her. She was better in terms of expressing herself these days, but nothing could hide the side effects of the elixir. Lilac had never been much of an outgoing person, but the elixir had made her wearier to trust others. That wasn't much of an issue to him. It merely meant that she had to lean on him when she needed someone to take care of her needs. It worked to his benefit, of course. All he ever wanted to do was to take care of somebody. 

As long as he could feel as though he was providing happiness to another, he knew that his existence was worth it. 

It didn't make him happy to leave her waiting. He had told her before that she didn't need to get worked up to the point of tears to get him to come to her side. All she had to do was send him a text to get his attention. Though, she never wanted to get in the way of his work. So, it would make sense why she wouldn't message him even if she was increasingly lonely. How could he forget? How could she enjoy a party if he wasn't there? Sure, she could congregate with the Believers and pretend she was having a good time, but that sort of amusement wouldn't last for very long. She could only convince herself for so long to have fun without him. 

They were made for each other, after all. She had found him when he needed her most. It was their salvation. It was the light that guided them to dream again. It was the reason he felt complete. It was a union that God and His Savior had ordained in the worship hall. She was patient and considerate of his needs at every turn, but he needed to ensure that she knew that his heart wanted the same for her at every beat. 

He missed her when he closed his eyelids to saturate his dry eyes. 

She missed him when there was a pause between his short breaths. 

His work couldn’t get in the way of his devotion. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed the silver metal that sparkled in the hallway light. The sound of strings and keys floated down the hall from the ballroom, but Ray paid them no mind as she melted from his gesture. Her ticklish giggles chipped at his worn heart and brought him back to life. This was what it was for. This was what he was working so hard for. He wouldn’t lose sight of that again. His work would be completed in due time. It wasn’t every day he had a chance to steal the wind beneath her wings. Not like this, anyway. 

“Forgive me, princess,” he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. She seemed pleased by his choice, laying her head against his chest to hear the sound of his heart beating between his ribs. “I didn’t mean to keep you waiting. What should I do to make up for this transgression? Should I lay at your feet and recount the ways I love you until my body aches for your mercy? Should I count the petals on each of your favorite blossoms for the minutes I missed you until I’ve counted them all? What can I do for you, my love? Tell me what you need and I will make it so.” 

“I only want to be with you,” she whispered. 

Ray kissed the top of her head. They swayed as the sound of music became louder and the sounds of chatter were far from the mind. She could wish for anything in the world but she would wish for the same thing every time he asked the question. “You don’t need a star to wish for that, darling. I’m already yours. I want to be with you as much as you are with me. Unless you mean to say… Do you want to be alone with me? Is that it, my dearest? Does my heart want to be away from the prying eyes of the party?” 

There was a meek nod in response. 

He chuckled. 

Frankly, he could care less about the party. His Savior was the one who enjoyed the chorus of souls coming together in a room like that. She enjoyed the pomp and circumstance. Ray wasn't against it because there were situations when it was enticing to be the center of attention. It wasn’t all bad. The moments when he could hold Lilac against his chest just like this and twirl her into a frenzy of emotions would lead them to the garden where their hands would stray and wander to touch wherever they could. He didn't need the rest of the world. All he needed was his princess to make his life complete. This was what he needed. If she wanted the same thing, he knew that they were going to always be on the same side. 

He gave her a twirl, his hands moving to rest against her waist as he lifted her above the ground to feel weightless, and she sighed almost dreamily in response. “Am I allowed to steal the princess away from her party? Eternal salvation wouldn’t be possible without you. It almost feels wrong to claim you as my own… doesn’t it? You belong to this world as a ray of hope… as the reason we’re free from the lies of the devil and his companion. But, my flower, you belong to me before you belong to any of them.” His hushed tone was haughty. 

“That’s what you wanted, though. You wanted to belong to me so much that your heart guided you to me… and now, you’ve been saved… just as I have been saved. We’re the final pieces of the puzzle that will stop the world from destroying people like you or me. The daring part of me wants to take you away from them tonight for good… to keep you with me where the world will never get to take advantage of you ever again. Someone as shiny as you is easily manipulated by the world and I won’t let that happen. I’ll draw you into my chest and throw away the key. You were meant for me.” 

Lilac stared back at him. There was nothing in her eyes that said she would refuse that statement. No, she was more than excited to hear those words. She wanted somewhere to belong as much as the next person and he was where she belonged. Small as it may have been, there was a smile on her lips. It didn't matter what anyone did or said, he knew this was what she wanted all along. All of her fumbling and confusion, in the beginning, had been her trying to truly accept it. She could have what she wanted. Ray would whisk her away to a dreamworld he created and thrive in her bosom. He could have whatever he wanted tonight and there was nothing to rush back to work on. 

He knew what he wanted. 

“Take me away,” her command was simple but sincere. 

Take her away? Oh, he could take her to paradise over and over again. 

Ray knew just where they needed to be. He held her hand tightly as they left the center of the complex and headed toward their shared room. He knew what she was asking and she knew what he wanted. Both of them were desperate to be able to grasp at the warmth inside of their hearts, and he would follow her down into the rabbit hole just to get a taste of it once more. The source of the party faded away as they took the stairs and grew further and further away. They didn't need the party to be complete. The only thing they needed was to be together. As long as they were together, nothing else mattered.

The door was locked behind them to avoid anyone coming in that didn’t belong in their symphony. Even though they were on the other side of the complex from the party, there was the faintest hum of violin strings tugging at the back of his head. That was his favorite melody… a somber melody that dug into his heart until he felt like he couldn’t grasp his dreams. But, no more did that song stand for the lack of warmth in his embrace. It stood for the yearning he felt for his princess to take away every ounce of pain from his body and rewrite it as if it were code meant to be overridden with love. 

A faint breeze from the window made the curtains float and fluttered around them as they each took a spot in front of their window to gaze upon the garden below. The view from this room was unlike any other in the building. It was as if you were looking down upon a sea of flowers that could go on for miles. Even if you were to tumble from the window trying to get a better view, the impact would be braced by a humble bush of gentle petals. Lilac loved the look at the flowers. She tried so hard to count them all by type, genus, and petal but lost track every time she played the game. 

Whereas, Ray preferred to count the faintest freckles that adorned her cheeks. While he could say she looked the prettiest in the sunlight, there was something so effervescent about seeing her moonlight. It was as if the light of the sun had decided to bless her with more beauty in the darkness. If somebody missed the sight of her in the daytime, they would never be able to miss her at night. How could anybody miss something so blindingly brilliant? 

She was a guiding light who brought him home at night. She was his North Star. If he didn't know where he was and lost his way, she would remind him where he was meant to be. That passion was welling up inside of him the longer he watched her in the dark. His heartbeat began to thud in his ears. He needed her to know. He needed to show it. Many things were burning in the back of his mind. He was captivated by her beauty and he knew he needed her to understand just how much he loved her. He would have done anything for her pleasure… her happiness. 

She sacrificed for him to ensure he got what he wanted, and he would give her the world in return… even if he had to burn it down and build it anew to make it just right. There was an ugliness in the outside world he never wanted to see again, and he knew in his heart that if he had it his way, he wouldn’t want Lilac to see it, either. Paradise had done wonders for her psyche in his mind. It took away her fears and allowed her to exist in a way that removed the discomfort that’d been thrust upon her shoulders at the start. She wasn't thinking too hard anymore. She didn't let her thoughts wander in a place they never should have in the first place. 

To Ray, Lilac was at peace. Her head and heart were in the clouds and there was no better place to be. Instead of thinking about everything that could go wrong or everything wrong, she could enjoy a world where there was nothing to fear. She didn't have to use her brain anymore. She didn't have to figure out how to do things. She didn't have to force her body through something it couldn't keep up with. That was because Ray was taking care of everything. Every need she had, he was on top of it. Her chronic pain? Taken care of before she could even wince. Her poor sleeping habits? Corrected with the right amount of attention. Her dietary needs to control her disability? Mended with the wave of his hand and a lot of his time spent researching the best way to keep her steady. 

With his meticulous care, there was never going to be any hiccup in her future. In some ways, it made him feel good to know he could ensure that nobody ever felt this awful as he did. On his worst nights when he was haunted by sickness and grief, all he wanted was for somebody to take care of him that way. When his body was weary and tired, all he wanted was the feeling of somebody's hand against the top of his head. Now, he could do that for someone and he was happy to know he could. His devotion to her was stronger than anything in the world. All because she was the same as him and he refused to let her fall as he had. He would open his arms and catch her the way he dreamed someone would for him. 

It was adorable how she wanted to do the same for him. 

It wasn't as if he didn't want her to do things for him. She was fully capable of doing things, but he simply wanted to be the one that did for her instead. Oh, there was nothing he loved more than the days when she did something for him. Ray didn't want her to overwhelm herself when there was no need. The last thing he wanted was for her to hurt herself trying to take care of him. She tried, though. She made clumsy attempts in the kitchen for him, trying to think about the best way to make a treat for him that was as good, if not better, than the one he made for her. He ate those meals no matter how they tasted, as it wasn’t the taste that mattered, it was the love she put into it. He could taste that. 

Ray loved when she would return from the garden with a flower in tow. She valued their lives just as much as he did, and took great care to pick a flower for him that was on its last legs. He knew that anyone else in the world might feel upset or confused if they received a flower with diminishing petals or wilting roots, but not him. Withering flowers were closest to his heart. They were the ones that were overlooked.

If people poured their attention into flowers that were growing well, they would neglect to notice they could do something to help those that were on their last leg. Ray felt the strongest self of kinship with them. Of course, it was a shame when she let her desire to see him smile distract her from thorns and bristles. It was often she would come back to him with scrapes on her fingers and palms. He would sigh, click his tongue in distaste, and take her to another room where he could take care of her wounds. It wasn’t uncommon for her hands to need bandaids. Just as he would tend flowers that were left abandoned by the light. 

Ray would nurture everything that was neglected by the cruel, unforgiving world. It made him better than those who had abandoned him. Of course, it did. It didn't matter what anybody said about it. He was better than they could ever be because he was. He was proving it every day by saving the one he loved. His dedication to her would prove to be worth it. Unlike the liar and traitor, he was a good person. He was doing right and God had rewarded him. He struggled to believe in anything before that day she fell into his lap, but now, he believed. 

He believed more than ever he was right. It was a frenzied feeling that was burning in the back of his head. He was tightly embraced by the realization that everything was working out the way it needed to. He had won, and no matter how many times he heard it, it was never enough. It was satisfying to know that he would always win going forward, but the fact remained that he couldn’t believe how much he’d won. 

Ray grabbed her by the waist and pulled her in close, leaning over her form as his other hand cradled her face. His thumb pressed against the apple of her cheek as she blinked, watching him like a curious rabbit that didn’t know how wild its pursuer could become. His definition of love was obsessive and possessive. She understood that and loved him for it. She coveted it. Ray did not doubt in his mind. 

She was his. 

That infectious laughter he couldn't control felt like it was bubbling up to the surface again. The laughter burned in the back of his head with a voice that was his and not quite his at the same time. He was in control of his life and nobody could take that away from him. He felt the intense feeling of power surging inside of him. Nothing in his life could go wrong. The only place from this point forward was up. The only thing he would taste going forward would be victory. Victory. That meant that he was the strongest person in his life, now. He was the strongest. He was stronger than all of them. He survived. He might have been a pathetic weed for as long as he could remember, but no more! Everyone had doubted him and now they were reaping what they sowed. They were the ones suffering. Not him. 

Ray was strong! 

Ray was capable! 

“You’re mine,” he said, voice incredulous even though he knew that already. He could feel the weight of a ring on his hand. He stopped wearing his gloves once he was given this ring. He wanted to feel it. He wanted to see it. He wanted to know that it’d never disappear… just as his flower would never disappear. He didn't want it to be out of sight and out of mind. He wanted to know every time he looked down that there was another part of him out there. A part of him he had chosen, and a part that had chosen him in return to be theirs. It was much stronger to choose his bond than it was to be given one at birth. 

It meant more to him to know someone wanted him. 

Someone wanted him to be a partner… a husband… a man worth loving. 

“Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,” his feverish whisper felt uncontrollable now. As much as he wanted to sing her praise, it felt like the only thing he could do was remind her that she had been given what she dreamed about for years. His confidence had been growing from the moment he saw the way she wrote about him. It had been weeks since he felt an inkling of self-doubt in himself. It made him a better lover to be able to grasp at her face and whisper what he felt without feeling the urge to douse himself in cold water to make all those impulses go away. He deserved this warmth. 

She had gifted him this warmth and he would return it until her mind was cloudy and hazy with nothing but a pool of love in her veins. That was his goal. If he could make her feel even an ounce of what he felt for her, it would all be worth it. The hiss at the back of his head urged him to prove it… to prove his feelings and the euphoria he desired. He wanted to melt into her embrace until there was no telling where she started and where he ended. This wasn't like the first time they kissed. It wasn’t that feverish night in the garden when he saved her from her misery. It was built upon every night they spent together in the dark, whispering sweet nothings until one of them dozed off and the other watched until the darkness came for them. 

He wanted this more than anything. He needed to hear that she wanted him so that any sort of unease would leave from his body forever. It was her gentle words that would take away all the pain every time they sprung up. He couldn't be haunted by the taunting voice in the back of his head. He couldn't be taunted because the taunts were no longer what they once were. In the place of insults, there was more of a curiosity to dissect the woman in his arms. There was a wish to take her apart piece by piece so there was nothing hidden from view. Ray already knew who she was and what she meant to him, but there was a darkness that wanted a taste, too. 

If you don’t take it, I will. 

Ray’s indomitable spirit would normally shy away from a challenge, but he wouldn’t bend down to anyone… not even that curious voice that wanted to know more about what drove Ray into a frenzy. It wasn’t that he wanted to deny Saeran a taste of something so blissful… no, no. He knew that Lilac would’ve given into anything Saeran wanted just as easily as she bent to his whims. Perhaps it was the selfish part of him that wanted more that didn't want Saeran to get a taste. It was nothing personal, it was simply that he had found her first and he wanted her more. He could prove he wanted her more than that… more than anyone else. 

She was his. 

Saeran would have to fight for it, later. Ray wouldn’t give up tonight. He had spent too long away from her side, too long for his liking, and he wouldn’t let her stray. With messy, haphazard kisses, he lost himself to his desires. She returned each of the kisses with a fervent yearning to be in his embrace. It felt like the sun rising in the morning when it kissed his face for the first time and he could breathe anew. She inspired a sense of the new day every time they were this close, and he needed it like the birds needed to sing their song to awaken the world. He only paused briefly between each kiss to ensure that she had the air in her lungs to keep going, to keep drawing back to him to taste life on her lips as if it were saccharine cake she couldn’t get enough of. 

“I love you,” her pouty lips managed against his. She lowered herself to the bed as they stumbled across the room., and he leaned over her to hold her face within his hands. It was warm. Even though he had left his jacket hung up in his workroom, he still felt like there were too many layers between them. “I love you, Ray.” 

Say it again, his heart pleaded. Say it more and more and more until that’s all you can say. Say it until those are the only words you know how to say to me. 

“Again,” his mint eyes glimmered in the moonlight as he watched her lean forward to meet his kiss once more. She knew what he meant. She always knew what he meant. That was because they were on the same wavelength. He didn't need to say what she already knew. It only further cemented how close their bond was. His desire to be with her unified them in ways that nobody would ever be able to understand. Not in the way that they understood each other. 

“I love you,” she said. 

“Again.” 

“I love you.” 

His voice was firm, “Again.” 

Her trembling digits rose from her sides as she grabbed at his hands. She wanted to feel him. He wanted to feel her. She pressed his palms against her cheeks and breathed, her voice becoming louder as she gave him everything he wanted, “I love you, Ray!”

This was all Ray needed to be happy. This was all he needed to know what it felt like to be in paradise. This was everything he had imagined since he was a boy. This was the fairy tale he hoped to find once he was free from his chains. It didn't matter if anybody tried to get in his way. Nobody was going to rip this away from him. He was going to drown in her feelings and know what it felt like to be loved. The bastards who had left him to feel abandoned would never know this feeling. This was the scene he wanted to live out over and over—

Again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again.  

As long as Ray held Lilac in his hands, it wouldn’t matter what challenges stood in their way. He was no longer a wilting blue rose that left nothing to desire. He was the heliotrope. A symbol of salvation and undying devotion that nothing could quell.