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"Take a scarf, it's cold up there!" Aoki's mother yells after him just as he's about to run out of the door. He's already late, having promised to meet Ida at his house rather than force him to pick Aoki up.
"It's spring, it'll be fine. I'm going!" Aoki yells and dashes out, trying to text Ida one-handed while simultaneously juggling his duffel and a garment bag. He nearly trips on the second step of the staircase, managing to grab the railing just in time to prevent himself from propelling down the stairs head-first. He makes sure to walk the rest of the way slowly, picking up his pace once he gets on the street.
Ida is just closing the front door when Aoki reaches the house, out of breath and too hot in the warm jacket his mother insisted he wear. He drops his bag onto the street and leans on his knees, catching his breath.
"I could've driven by your house, you know," Ida says, picking up Aoki's stuff and bringing it to the car. Aoki follows him, watching Ida slot the duffel onto the back seat, between two cardboard boxes. He probably left the space there on purpose, mindful of Aoki. It's a little annoying how thoughtful Ida is sometimes. It makes Aoki's heart race like he's still seventeen and holding hands for the first time.
"I didn't want to cause you trouble!" Aoki insists, shrugging his jacket off and surreptitiously checking for any sweat stains. He thinks he's good, though his hair is definitely a mess. As a fourth-year university student about to enter the workforce he tries to pay more attention to his appearance but can't seem to quite get the hang of it.
Ida's getting in the car so Aoki does, too, in the front like a real adult. Not that he feels like one, most of the time. He hasn't even managed to get his driver's permit yet.
"Maybe I like you causing me trouble," Ida says once Aoki is settled. He's looking at Aoki, Aoki can tell, but he refuses to look back. Ida is definitely just trying to get a reaction out of him. Aoki's been training himself not to get flustered so easily. It's still a work in progress.
They always talk about going on rides, but there never seems to be time. This isn't really what Aoki had been hoping for, either, with the car full of boxes and Ida's grandmother's funeral as their destination. It sets a damper on things.
"Shouldn't we get going? It's already past six," Aoki says, going through the glove box. There are snacks which he isn't expecting to see in a rental car.
"Did the previous customer forget these here?" Aoki wonders, pulling out a bag of his favourite chips.
"I thought you might get hungry," Ida says smoothly, backing out of the driveway onto the quiet residential street. Aoki has seen Ida driving only once before, on a trip they took together with Hashimoto and Akkun during the first summer of their college lives. Aoki had been stuck in the back with Hashimoto, Akkun claiming his legs were too long for the back seat. He had gone along with it, mainly because he could sneak glances at Ida's profile more easily without anyone noticing.
He realizes he's been staring at Ida when he raises his eyebrows at Aoki.
"Eyes on the road!" Aoki protests, crossing his arms and giving Ida a stern look.
"Yes yes," Ida says with a little laugh, his smile warm when he glances at Aoki. In high school, Aoki had wished passing puberty would mean being less affected by Ida's smile. So far, that was a work in progress.
Then, college and adulthood have not been at all like Aoki had visioned, in both good and not-so-good ways. Rather than the cute traditional house in one of the older parts of Kyoto Aoki had imagined him and Ida living in, he could only afford the dorm an hour away from Kyoto city.
The less-than-ideal living situation also meant that Aoki's first semester was spent with his classmates, seniors, and the members of the baking club he'd joined on a whim rather than with Ida. Ida had been busy, too, with his classes, and tutoring and the two clubs he had been persuaded to join.
It had taken Aoki, stressed over the exams before the winter break, tearfully yelling at Ida that he felt more like a past classmate than a current boyfriend in the middle of Kyoto station for them to figure out they needed to put more effort into the relationship. It wasn't like high school when it was impossible to avoid each other, and meeting up was a daily occurrence. They needed to make plans, and schedule the time to see each other.
Their second and third years had been much better. Things are good now. It's the beginning of their fourth year of college, which means this chapter of their lives is slowly drawing to a close. Aoki wants to treasure things as they are now for as long as he can.
Aoki looks out of the window, realizing they're almost outside of Tokyo already, the congested city streets widening into a busy expressway. He's a little disappointed that he can't see much aside from the lights of other cars and the stations they pass. He's only been north of Tokyo once, on a middle-school trip to Nikko.
"The scenery will be better tomorrow," Ida says, glancing over at Aoki. He has developed an uncanny way of telling what Aoki thinks sometimes. It's helpful most of the time, but sometimes Aoki fears Ida will find him lacking if he looks too closely.
"I know," Aoki says and turns to look at Ida. "We could listen to the radio. Isn't that what people usually do when they're driving?"
Ida nods, and Aoki fiddles with the middle console until he finds a station he likes. He used to be scared of long silences between them, worrying about Ida finding him boring company. Now he's comfortable with it, content with just being near Ida.
They stop for a late dinner at a service area after a few hours of driving. Aoki's stomach growls loudly when he spots the advertisement promising curry bread and Fukushima specialities. It's late, but there are still plenty of people around. There's a coachful of old ladies lining up in front of the food stalls, chattering in a thick northern accent. Aoki thinks it's charming.
"I can't choose," Aoki moans, staring at the menu. "Everything looks good! Do you want gyudon? Or curry? They have a special offer on yakisoba, too."
"I think I'll just have the curry bread," Ida says, squeezing Aoki's elbow gently. "Have anything you like. My treat."
"You're so unhelpful," Aoki hums and crosses his arms as he stares at the different options with a frown. They won't be driving back this way, so it's an important choice. His mother made him eat dinner before he left, but he had been too worried about being late to really fill himself.
They find a quiet table in a corner fifteen minutes later. Aoki is smiling widely at the bowl of special tonkatsu he found. There's a local flavour of his favourite soda too, and a cute bear-shaped dessert he couldn't resist.
"Are you sure you don't want any?" Aoki asks, holding out a piece of breaded pork for Ida. Ida hesitates but then leans over, catching the offered bite with his lips. Aoki stares at him, his ears feeling hot.
"Don't make it weird," he says and furtively glances around them. None of the other customers seem to have noticed anything weird, so Aoki relaxes. He still feels a little nervous when he continues eating. Aoki relaxes when Ida's knee presses against his under the table.
"Are we still far away?" Aoki asks when they get back into the car. He sets the small bag of goodies he found in the souvenir shop behind his seat. There's melon pan for the morning, and a box of local treats he plans on bringing back to his baking club.
"A couple of hours," Ida says, checking the navigation app on his phone. "We should be there just before midnight."
"Can we check in that late?" Aoki asks, realizing he'd left all of the planning to Ida. Ida is usually diligent but also has a habit of humouring Aoki even when it gets them into trouble. Like that one time when they lost track of time, and Ida missed the last train home. Aoki had to sneak him into his dorm room through the window, the manager unwilling to break the no-guest policy even in an emergency.
"Yeah, it should be okay," Ida says. Aoki nods, but worries about having to drive around Sendai in the middle of the night trying to find a place that is open regardless. He doesn't mind, but Ida needs to sleep to keep his strength up the next day.
Aoki sighs in relief when after two hours and ten minutes a night receptionist greets them with a polite smile. They're staying at a small shabby business hotel, the smell of cigarette smoke lingering in the air of their supposedly non-smoking room.
"It's clean, at least," Aoki says after checking the bathroom. Ida nods. "The location is convenient."
There are two separate beds. Aoki tries not to be disappointed by it. It's still relatively rare that they get to spend the night together, even after Aoki moved out of the dorm and into his own apartment a year before. Ida's flatmate, a fellow student from Ida's year, has strange rules about letting Aoki stay over ("who's going to pay for the bigger water bill?"). Ida is often too busy with club activities to spend the weekends at Aoki's place.
Originally Aoki wanted to move in together for their last year of school, even if that meant a longer commute for them both. Somehow he never got around to actually asking Ida about it, and by the time their third year drew to a close, Ida had renewed the lease on his current apartment.
Aoki is okay with it, mostly, even though there's a small nagging voice in the back of his head that reminds him that there are no guarantees that they can live together even after college. The thought makes something tighten in Aoki's chest. He ignores it in favour of digging out his pyjamas from his bag, sharing a quick, sleepy kiss with Ida before he takes his turn showering. Ida is fast asleep by the time Aoki is done washing up. Aoki curls up under the covers, promptly falling asleep.
**
The sun is already far above the horizon when they leave, but it still feels early to Aoki. The air is colder than in Kyoto, Aoki shivering awake during the short walk from the hotel to the car. Ida takes pity on Aoki's sleepy yawns, driving them to the nearest Starbucks. Aoki is in a much cheerier mood after a usually sold-out sakura-flavoured latte and a speciality muffin.
"Road trips are the best," Aoki hums happily as they drive back through Sendai city to the expressway.
"Sorry," he adds quickly when he remembers this isn't just a fun outing for Ida.
"It's okay," Ida says, "It is nice to spend time with you." Aoki nods and pretends it's the now lukewarm coffee making his cheeks heat up.
"I never asked. Were you close to to your grandmother?" Aoki asks after a moment of silence. Aoki vaguely knew Ida's mother's family was from somewhere in the north, but he'd never really asked where.
"I spent all my vacations in Aomori when I was little," Ida says thoughtfully. "I guess in that way, yes." Aoki wonders if Ida had an accent as a little kid. He thinks it would be cute.
"There wasn't that much time to visit after middle school. Then she got sick," Ida continues. His voice is calm, but the set of his shoulders tells Aoki he's sad about it.
"Oh," Aoki says. He used to spend his summers at his grandparents' place as well, though that was in an ordinary suburb in Yokohama rather than anywhere exciting like Aomori.
"I'm sad she didn't get to meet you. I think she would have liked you," Ida adds. Aoki squirms in his seat. Their parents know they're dating, but Aoki's not sure if his mother or father have told either set of his grandparents. Aoki's father's mother loves telling Aoki that he shouldn't fall in love with any of the beautiful maiko in Kyoto, or he'll get his heart broken. Aoki's mother's mother usually just says he has his head in the clouds, and no decent woman will want to marry a man like that.
"I did tell her about you after we graduated," Ida says. Aoki doesn't know what to say to that, so he stays quiet, staring out the window.
He still gets worried that Ida might grow tired of him or find someone better suited to him, only for Ida to prove him wrong so casually with a few words. Sometimes all it does is make Aoki even more anxious about not doing enough to earn that place in Ida's heart, but most times it just makes him fall a little bit more in love.
The expressway quickly narrows into a more rural highway as they pass the city, the road winding past places Aoki can't name. Farmland stretches as far as the eye can see around them, the mountains still far in the distance. Aoki is used to seeing fields and is a little bored of them after three years of agricultural studies, to be honest, but the feeling here is so different from Kyoto that he gets a little excited again.
It's one thing reading a report on multiresidue analysis of pesticides in agricultural products in Iwate prefecture, and another to actually be driving through some of the areas mentioned in the study.
They stop for lunch and gas in an unremarkable little city, the houses rundown and the cars older-looking than in Tokyo. Aoki wonders what it would have felt like growing up in a place like this. If any of the high schoolers he sees as they drive past the local school ever thought about holding hands with a guy instead of a girl.
"We'll drive up the mountains soon," Ida says once they get back on the expressway. The scenery changes again, the road getting narrower as they reach the mountainside to cross over to Aomori prefecture. Long tunnels are followed by steep drops, tall cedar tree forests and little rivers. Aoki finds himself wishing they could keep driving like this forever.
Their car is a private little bubble where he can tell stupid jokes and let Ida's warm laugh wash over him without the worry of anyone else seeing them. I love you, he thinks but doesn't say it out loud, still shy with the words.
"Welcome to Aomori," Ida says once they pass a sign informing them that they've entered the prefecture. Aoki can't tell the difference: the trees and mountainside look pretty much the same, though they're now going down rather than up.
It's nearing midday when Aoki spots a sign advertising apple picking on the side of the road.
"Can we go?" he asks hopefully, salivating over the idea of a nice big apple. They probably taste better, fresher, here.
"Apples aren't in season," Ida says, and Aoki deflates. He knew that.
"What about apple blossoms?" Aoki asks.
"It's a little too early for those, too. There's still probably snow up here," Ida says, smiling at Aoki's crestfallen expression. "I'll take you next time, promise."
A long stretch of the road runs along the apple farm, the bare branches of the apple trees beautiful in their own way. It's a clear, beautiful day, the sky bluer than ever in Kyoto or Tokyo. It doesn't look like a bad place to live, Aoki thinks.
Ida's grandmother's house is situated on the outskirts of Aomori city, close to the sea. It's an older house sandwiched between newer buildings. There's a tiny garden in the front and a communal garden in the back. Aoki falls in love at first sight with the house and the cherry trees with tiny pink buds lining the road.
He doesn't have much time to explore, wanting to help Ida unpack the boxes from the car and set them neatly in a spare room. The fridge is filled with containers of homemade food, courtesy of Ida's aunt who also lives in the neighbourhood. Ida is quieter than usual, picking at his food when they eat. Aoki's heart clenches, and instead of asking about the house and the city, he talks about the stall his baking club will set up for the food festival in May.
The sun is setting when they leave the house. Ida's uncle picks them up and drives them to the funeral home in the city. Ida's mother is there to welcome them, her smile sadder than usual when she greets Aoki. He gets introduced to a few cousins, distant relatives, and the neighbours. He forgets everyone's name before the ceremony even starts.
Aoki chooses to stay towards the back of the room for the ceremony, not wanting to take up space from those who actually knew Ida's grandmother. A few old ladies adopt him, explaining the rituals and telling Aoki all about Hanako and how she was the heart of the neighbourhood. It makes time pass quickly and makes him feel less like an intruder. He likes hearing about Ida's grandmother, too, and the stories about Ida as a little boy.
They take the local train back to the house. It would be a busy time in Kyoto or Tokyo despite the late hour, but the car is half-empty, and they have no trouble finding seats. Aoki slips his hand into Ida's, squeezing it quickly and receiving a tired smile from Ida. Aoki can tell he's sad even though he thinks Ida's trying to hide it. Aoki wishes he knew what to say to make it better.
Two futons are waiting for them. Aoki sets them out while Ida showers. He can't decide whether to push them together or not, worried about offending Ida's grandmother's spirit by being too brazen with the sleeping situation. In the end, he leaves a little space between them, not wanting to be on the other side of the room in case Ida has nightmares.
It's his turn to shower after Ida, the unheated bathroom cold as he undresses. Still, the house has a charm none of the modern builds Aoki's lived in can ever manage. He wonders what it would be like, to live in a home like this. He thinks he'd like it better than whatever cramped apartment they will end up in after graduation.
Ida's asleep by the time Aoki finishes washing up, and Aoki tries to not let it bother him. He feels lonely getting into bed and burrows under the covers, the heat of the shower quickly leaving his skin. Strange creaks are coming from the attic, and the window panes rattle when the wind picks up.
"Ghosts aren't real," he whispers into the darkness and closes his eyes tightly.
"Sleep tight, Souta," Ida mumbles, his fingers brushing against Aoki's cheek. It makes Aoki feel better, and he quickly falls asleep after that.
**
There's a strange light outside when Aoki wakes up after a surprisingly soundly slept night. He blinks the sleep out of his eyes and gets up, pulling the curtains aside to look out.
"It's snowing?" he says in surprise, staring at the snow fluttering down from the heavy-hanging clouds. "Ida, it's snowing!" he repeats, realizing Ida has already left his bed. He finds Ida in the kitchen, frying eggs on the gas stove.
"How can it snow in April?" Aoki asks Ida, taking a seat by the table where a pot of coffee and two mugs are already waiting.
"It's pretty normal up here," Ida says, plating the breakfast he's cooked and bringing it to the table. The food is a little plain, but Aoki is too hungry to care, gratefully wolfing it down.
"Do you think there's enough to make a snowman?" Aoki asks a little later when they're standing in the tiny bathroom, brushing their teeth side-by-side. Ida's eyes meet his in the mirror, and he smiles.
"If you hurry. It will melt in a few hours," Ida says, bumping his shoulder with Aoki's. "I'd stay and show you how to do it, but I promised mom to help her with the arrangements."
Aoki receives a kiss that tastes like toothpaste before Ida leaves, the touch lingering on Aoki's skin through the morning. He's searching one of the boxes for Ida's old gloves and scarves, not having been smart enough to bring his own. He hates it when his mother is right.
Aoki finds the blue scarf he remembers from their high school days, Ida's scent still clinging to the soft wool fabric. He decides to borrow it, wondering if Ida would mind him taking it home with him.
The small snowmen Aoki builds and places on each step leading up to the house are asymmetrical, leaning this way and that, but he still snaps a few pictures. He chooses the best one to send to the group chat with him, Ida, Hashimoto and Akkun. They created it on the last day of high school, not wanting to lose touch even though they would be attending different schools.
Ida is right, and by the time Aoki has finished with lunch (more leftovers courtesy of Ida's aunt) most of the snow has melted from the street. The snowmen are still standing, though. It makes Aoki smile.
The afternoon passes quickly after Aoki finds boxes full of manga from the attic. He loses his sense of time, and so he's still struggling with his tie when Ida arrives. Aoki feels uncomfortable in the new black suit that he bought for the purpose of job hunting. He's out of practice with more formal clothes after three years of wearing oversized hoodies and loose knits almost exclusively.
Ida's suit is made of more expensive fabric and fits him well. Aoki wants to tell him he looks good, but it seems inappropriate, especially with Ida's uncle waiting for them. "I'm ready," he says instead, giving Ida a smile that's hopefully comforting.
The funeral is more intimate than the wake, and Aoki can't help but feel like an outsider. He knows Ida wants him here: Aoki asked Ida multiple times before agreeing to come to make sure. Still, he can't shake the feeling, watching Ida's back through the ceremony and wishing he was sitting next to him.
Aoki's head hurts from the heavy incense in the air by the time the rituals are completed and everyone takes their leave. He waits outside, the cold air doing nothing to the ache, just making him shiver in misery. He thinks Ida was crying during the bone-picking ceremony. The memory makes his whole chest ache. Aoki hates that there is nothing he can do to make it better.
Aoki's the crier between the two, shedding tears at anything overwhelming, like a sad movie or a stressful week. Ida's always been the one to steady him, stand by him, and guide him off the rocky ground. Aoki, on the other hand, feels so useless at times like these.
"Have a safe trip home," Ida's mother tells Aoki once the last of the guests have left, and it's just Aoki, Ida and Ida's parents standing on the street. Ida's father nods at Aoki, claps Ida on the shoulder, and then flags down a taxi. Aoki still feels awkward around him. It makes him feel guilty which in turn makes him feel even more awkward.
"Thank you for being here," Ida says a moment later, when it's just the two of them, and pulls Aoki into a hug. Aoki leans into it, wrapping his arms tightly around Ida.
"It was nothing," he mumbles, burying his face into Ida's shoulder. He's been holding back tears all night, his throat sore and eyes stinging.
"It meant a lot to me," Ida murmurs, and presses a soft kiss onto Aoki's ear. Aoki is glad his face is hidden, getting flustered by Ida's affection.
They stand like that for a long time, only stepping apart when a group of drunk salarymen spill out of a nearby izakaya. Aoki holds Ida's hand the entire train ride back home, uncaring who sees and what they think of them. Ida holds back tightly, the smallest of smiles on his lips.
"What are you thinking about?" Aoki asks later after they've finished a pot of homemade curry he prepared after finding apples in the fridge earlier in the day. Ida's sitting across from him, their feet tangled under the kotatsu, a thoughtful look on his face when he looks at Aoki.
"I'll tell you tomorrow," Ida says, laughing when Aoki pulls a face. There's no use in trying to get whatever Ida's been thinking of all night out of him, Aoki knows, but it still makes him feel antsy. The rational side of him knows it can't be anything bad, but his heart isn't convinced.
Ida insists Aoki take a bath first, and Aoki doesn't protest too much. He wants to wash off the day and let the heavy feelings dissipate into the hot water. There's a small plastic boat sitting on the windowsill above the bath, the originally bright red colour faded in places. Ida's name is written on the bottom, the ko and the su smudged but still legible.
Aoki wonders what Ida was like as a child. If he was ever more carefree and if he used to fill this bathroom with excited giggles. Aoki remembers loving bath time when he was little, even though his mother used to regularly scold him for splashing water everywhere. He's managed a puddle on the floor even now, drying it carefully before leaving the room.
Aoki gets the manga he was reading through earlier and settles under the warm blanket of the kotatsu. He finds himself wishing they could stay a day or two more to see the sakura blooming in the backyard. It's a silly idea, of course. Their lives are in Kyoto. There are job interviews ahead of them both, and school work, and the final year of relative freedom before entering the workforce. There's no time for Aoki's little dream of playing house in Aomori.
"You look cosy," Ida tells Aoki once he's done washing up. Aoki looks at him with a happy grin, quickly looking away when he realizes Ida's only wearing a towel.
"I am," he says. "I'm getting one of these for my next place."
"Your next place?" Ida asks, kneeling behind Aoki and wrapping his arms around him. Aoki misses the emphasis on your and just nods. "I've always wanted one, you know."
Ida hums, taking the book from Aoki's hands and setting it aside. He's trailing soft, slow kisses from the juncture of Aoki's neck to the soft skin behind his ear. Aoki shivers, instinctively leaning back against Ida.
"Come to bed?" Ida asks, his voice low. It sets a heat in the pit of Aoki's belly, and he finds himself nodding even though he only has three pages left of the chapter he was reading. Spending the night in Ida's arms is by far the more enticing option. He thinks they both need the closeness, too, warm skin against warm skin letting them forget about their worries.
**
"I guess you'll have to sell the house," Aoki says when Ida locks the house up the next morning. The snowmen have melted, the day promising to be much warmer than the previous one. The house looks lonely, Aoki thinks. He would've liked to visit again.
"Maybe," Ida says, vaguely. Aoki realizes it's probably a painful thought for Ida right now, quickly dropping the topic.
"Do we have time for lunch here? I promised the club some pictures of local specialities," Aoki says, picking up his bag and following Ida towards the station. "We should go by the pier, too. I hear it has the best view of the sea!"
"We have time," Ida says, his eyes warm when he looks at Aoki.
"Oh, good," Aoki says and picks up his steps to get ahead of Ida, his cheeks warm. Must be the surprisingly warm sunshine. "Come on then!"
Their train doesn't leave until after two, so there's plenty of time for them to wander along the shore and visit the shops selling local souvenirs and treats. Aoki goes a little overboard with the shopping, having to hand some of the souvenirs he got into Ida's bag, his own already bursting at the seams.
They end up with time to spare, finding a small cafe tucked away on a side alley to rest in.
"What do you think of Aomori?" Ida asks him while they're waiting for their drinks. Aoki blinks, looking up from his phone. He's been googling apple pie recipes, wanting to surprise Ida with one once they get back home.
"I like it," Aoki says sincerely. Of course, it's only been a few days, but he likes the mountains, apple-themed everything and the sea that seems so much closer and bigger than in Tokyo.
"Really? It's pretty small compared to home," Ida says. Strangely it feels like he's asking for a specific purpose. Aoki can't figure out what that could be.
"I don't mind! I think it's pretty and interesting. I bet it's so nice when the apple trees bloom," Aoki says. He wonders if he could afford another trip here during Golden Week to see the blossoms. Probably not. He has lab work to catch up on.
"It must be interesting for an agricultural student. Lots of job opportunities, too," Ida says. It's a strange comment to make, but Aoki brushes it off when their coffees arrive.
"Look, it's Mametaro!" he exclaims, turning his cup to show the cute dog drawn on the foam of his coffee.
"It is," Ida says with a chuckle. Aoki's secretly happy he's managing to take Ida's mind off things, even if just for a moment.
"You know, Mametaro really likes it here, too. There's so much space. And so many parks," Ida says. Aoki nods, imagining how cute it would be to take pictures of Mametaro with an apple blossom on his head. Maybe they could manage a visit during the summer.
"It's cheaper to live here, too," Ida says next, looking at Aoki.
"Are you trying to get hired by the Aomori prefecture promotional agency?" Aoki chuckles.
"No, I still want to be a teacher," Ida says solemnly. Aoki blinks at him, realizing that Ida is trying to get at something.
"In fact," Ida starts, licking his lips nervously. "I've been thinking of applying for a job here."
Aoki stares at Ida, his heart plummeting. Whatever he thought Ida wanted to tell him, this wasn't it.
"Ah. Of course. That makes sense! I'm sure you'll get it, too," Aoki says, the forced smile he tries to keep up making his whole face hurt.
"You see, my grandmother wanted me to get the house," Ida continues. Aoki's fingers grip tightly at the cup in front of him. Ida never made any promises about life after college, so he won't be breaking any, either.
"Lucky!" Aoki says, letting out an unnatural little chuckle. "It's a great house! Perfect for a teacher like you! Aomori is so lucky!"
He feels like crying, but he doesn't want Ida to know. He was an idiot to assume Ida shared the same plans as him when they never even discussed it seriously. Of course Ida is moving to Aomori. He's told Aoki plenty of times how he doesn't really like Tokyo that much. Aoki had agreed with him, too, like an idiot.
"It's only three years, you know. I can request a transfer to Tokyo if it doesn't work out. Or Kyoto, if that's better?" Ida continues hesitantly. Aoki nods vigorously, hoping Ida will mistake the grimace on his face for a smile.
"That's great. Congratulations!" Aoki chokes out. His throat feels too tight, and he's blinking rapidly to stop the tears from spilling . Aoki doesn't want to make a scene. He's sure that's why Ida chose this place to tell him.
"Aoki?" Ida asks, the worry clear on his face. Aoki tries even harder to smile, biting on his tongue hard enough to taste blood.
"Just– a moment. Nature calls. Haha!" he wheezes, abruptly getting up and fleeing into the small bathroom. He doesn't understand what's going on. Last night he had been so happy, feeling like he'd finally found the one thing in life he didn't need to doubt. That even when his studies didn't go as expected, or the job his seniors were suggesting for him felt suffocatingly boring, Ida would be the one constantly good thing in his life. He had really thought Ida felt the same.
"Aoki?" Ida's voice carries through the door. "Are you okay?"
Not really, Aoki wants to say, but doesn't. He blows his nose, wipes the tears from his eyes, and then opens the door. Instead of letting him get out, Ida steps in and closes the door again behind him.
"Do you hate the idea that much?" Ida asks, sounding disappointed. Aoki grits his teeth together. For someone so smart, Ida could really be dense sometimes.
"No, I think it's great. I guess we can see each other once a year or something. I don't care," Aoki says. Even Ida can't be thick enough to think Aoki would be fine with long-distance for three full years.
"What?" Ida asks, genuine confusion on his face. Aoki stares at him. If Ida wants to break up, he needs to be the one to say it.
"Aoki, I'm asking if you wouldn't mind moving to Aomori," Ida says, reaching over to take Aoki's hand. The protest Aoki has prepared dies on his lips, and he blinks slowly. "I think it will be easy for you to get a job here, too, if you want."
"Move here? Where would I live?" Aoki asks dumbly, staring at their joint hands. Is Ida worried that he won't find a job in Kyoto?
"With me," Ida says, looking both embarrassed and excited. "In my grandmother's house."
Aoki makes a strangled noise. "Live together? For three years?"
Ida nods, and the knot in Aoki's chest loosens. Moving halfway across the country seems like a big step to take. He'd figured they could find a small place in Kyoto or maybe Yokohama. A house in Aomori feels like a much bigger commitment. Aoki hadn't realized Ida had made such big plans for a future together with Aoki.
"Are you proposing or something?" Aoki tries to joke, his heart starting to race the more he thinks about it. He'd miss his friends, of course, but in a place like this they would actually have the space to invite Hashimoto and Akkun over.
"Well, we can't legally get married," Ida says seriously, a little frown on his face. "Yet, anyway."
"Ida," Aoki says, his mouth dry and whole body trembling with the emotion threatening to take over. He loves Ida so much. "Shut up."
It's gross to kiss someone in a bathroom, but he does it anyway, grabbing Ida and fusing their mouths together. Ida kisses back a little desperately, too, at first, then softer when he realizes Aoki isn't going anywhere.
"I'd move to the moon to be with you," Aoki mumbles against Ida's mouth, his heart still in his throat and his voice hoarse. Ida simply kisses him again.
They're very nearly late for the train, trying to contain their laughter when they slump down to their seats. Ida keeps looking at him with the biggest, happiest smile Aoki's ever seen. It makes Aoki feel a little shy but also exhilarated.
Sure, there are things they still need to figure out and a full year of studies left, but for once Aoki can't bring himself to worry. Not when Ida's eyes sparkle like that every time he looks at Aoki.
"I love you," Aoki says, even though they're not alone in the train car.
"I love you, too," Ida says, and it feels like forever. No matter what may come, Aoki will always have Ida. His future is looking bright, the little house with the cherry trees and creaky floors more than just a daydream now.
"I'm happy," Aoki says, smiling at Ida and sneaking a light kiss when he's sure no one is looking. And if someone does see, well, it doesn't really matter that much. Aoki has found the person he wants to build a life with, and other people have no say in it.