Archive of Our Own ^beta

With all of her heart, Mafuyu loved her girlfriends.

Whether or not she was able to place a name to the feeling was irrelevant; a needless distinction that did nothing to displace the warmth surrounding her heart. Even if her fingers eased from where they were currently curled into her chest, Mafuyu was sure the feeling would remain, just as they did by her side. 

Being with them never failed to make her feel safe. Seen; loved. She would spend every day, if she could, curled in their arms - or simply hovering near them. As long as they were hers and close enough to touch, she’d be content.

There was just one tiny issue.

A miniscule one, really, of little importance: Ena and Mizuki had all of their supposedly secret conversations in broad daylight.

There were no precautions as they began to whisper back and forth. No confirmation of confidentiality nor a hint of common sense. One set of hands would simply rise to cup around the other’s ears with little more than a sideward glance towards their surroundings, and their voices were never quite quiet enough to be indistinct.

And maybe—just maybe—the first time it would’ve been understandable. 

Forgivable, even, that Mizuki’s plans for a lively celebration had been spoiled, because Mafuyu hadn’t particularly minded either way. She’d just been happy that they wanted to spend the day with her. She’d been happy, because how could she possibly not be when Niigo was there to ensure that she felt loved?

Their brand of care was one of the things she loved most about them. So gentle and soft, yet distinct, too. So blatantly obvious, and so unlike anything she’d been made used to before that she couldn’t quite help how their affection struck her right between her ribs—like an arrow against a target—and carved out a space for itself as it nestled close to her heart.

When all of their secretive discussions began in roughly the same way, though, she had to admit that it was beginning to grow a little repetitive. 

Whenever an occasion arose—a cause for celebration—it was almost expected for her to hear the failed attempts of hushed whispering from around the corner. 

When she didn’t, Mafuyu only began suspecting that something else was amiss, and usually?

She was right.

(“Do you think they realise?” Kanade once asked her, her legs draped over Mafuyu’s lap. A fond smile graced her lips as Mafuyu answered with a shake of her head. A very disappointed shake of her head, given that Mizuki was currently attempting to conceal a neatly wrapped present - complete with a bow that matched the ribbon adorning her hair - beneath her sweater.)

Three birthdays and a handful of other occasions later, though, and the pair of them were still hopeless, much to Mafuyu’s dismay. 

Honestly, it was almost as if they hadn’t even considered the possibility that they could be heard. 

And with her head resting in Ena’s lap and her back to the dull glow that illuminated the side of her face, Mafuyu just barely restrained a sigh. Soft whispers overlapped the faded sounds of her breathing, and with the barely there indication of someone speaking, Mafuyu realised Ena (and by extension, Mizuki) had presumed she was asleep.

Despite their assumption, though, she wasn’t. 

Not yet, at least, and not for a lack of trying. With her face pressed against Ena’s stomach; her fingers clinging loosely at her back like she was trying to tether herself to her, she was doing okay at ignoring the cacophony around her, but still—

Even still, it wasn’t enough. 

Instead, she found herself in a hazy, dream-like state that she continued to drift in and out of as the seconds passed her by. 

The line between reality and dreams was thin, and in the background, the TV was all but a low hum that accompanied the sound of Ena’s voice. It was so much of a blur that Mafuyu couldn’t even think of deciphering the words being spoken by the voice actors Mizuki claimed to adore. So much of a blur that she could hardly remember what the anime had been about to begin with, when confronted with the muted excitement that was reserved for moments just like this one.

(It was cute, she thought, how each of them became more and more excited as the date drew closer.)

She wondered if Mizuki would mind how she was paying more attention to their conversation than the indistinguishable dialogue from the TV. She hoped she wouldn’t—but if she did, Mafuyu would promise to watch every episode as many times as Mizuki liked until she was satisfied. She’d lure Kanade in by mentioning the soundtrack, and Ena—

Well. 

Mafuyu was pretty sure Ena would agree to anything, as long as Mizuki was the one who suggested it.

They’d make a date out of it. Just— preferably not at an hour when Mafuyu was prone to falling asleep, or when the sound of whispering overlapped the quiet lullaby the room sang for her. No matter how much she liked the hushed sounds of their voices; the familiarity of it all, it was distracting.

(Mafuyu would even go as far as to say that she loved it, even if it was currently disturbing her rest, and even if Mizuki found herself a little too excited; the pitch of her voice rising in time with her delight.)

Regardless, Mafuyu wished desperately that she could’ve prevented herself from understanding what was being said. Because while she wasn’t eavesdropping exactly— she couldn’t deny that the information regarding her birthday was currently being handed to her on a silver platter.

And once, just once, she would’ve liked to see them successfully surprise her.

The hope that they ever could was dwindling by the second, though, and it diminished even more rapidly when Ena giggled rather loudly at something Kanade had mumbled. Or— yawned? 

Mafuyu wasn’t really sure. All of a sudden, she couldn’t vouch for her own memory when she tried to remember whether or not she’d actually seen Kanade fall asleep before her; cuddled comfortably into Mizuki’s side.

The cadence of Ena’s laughter, combined with the casualness of the fingers carding through her hair, only served to daze her more. 

Each of those things on their own would’ve been a welcome guide to a night of dreamless sleep, and together, Mafuyu had to fight to keep herself from leaning into the touch; from giving herself away. She had to fight (or so she told herself); to wrestle with every wavering thread of her self-restraint to stay as still as the stones Ena had once likened her emotions to.

“Hey,” Mizuki whispered, diverting the flow of their conversation once again and gently shoving Mafuyu away from the thoughts that blanketed her mind like snow. “You made sure everything’s ready for tomorrow, right?” 

With Mizuki’s question and the soft, muted sound of her excited laughter from somewhere beside her, Mafuyu’s heart stumbled over the beat it had been following. She stiffened as if steeling herself could’ve kept it from hammering against her chest; as if it could’ve quietened it at all, and Mafuyu prayed that the small change in her demeanor didn’t show.

Because as much as she wished Mizuki and Ena would try a little harder to plan these things privately, Mafuyu couldn’t deny wanting to keep them wrapped in this illusion for a while longer, either. She wanted the two of them to believe that they weren’t completely terrible at concealing things, and she wanted to listen to what they had to say—just a little. 

She was just the littlest bit curious, and who could blame her? 

Information was being dangled right in front of her like a carrot on a stick, and wondering what they might reveal next only encouraged her to find out more. It made her already unsteady heartbeat quicken, until an avalanche had formed from the once tiny snowball of her emotions.

She really did love them, more than anything in the world.

And it was heartwarming somehow, to remind herself that they all loved her back so openly, like this. Maybe it was because of the nature of their relationship, but none of them minded indulging one another in the quiet moments of intimacy that occurred away from the group.  They knew Mafuyu enough by now to know that she was comfortable enough to share those things; to be vulnerable - all of it.

And though she’d known it all along (had known it, deep down, ever since this tiny, cramped apartment had become a shared space for all of them) she always found herself surprised.

From above her, there was the slight ruffle of movement; the regrettable drag of Ena’s fingers as she shifted them away from her hair and for a moment - Mafuyu feared that she’d been caught. The smile she’d hidden against Ena’s stomach quickly fell, and her fingers dug just a little more firmly into the fabric of her shirt.

Almost as if she was trying to beckon her back; to caution her away from disturbing the peace. Even if she knew that Ena was merely pressing her hand to her forehead and sweeping away her bangs - the way she always did when she was slightly annoyed. 

“Who the hell do you take me for?” she whispered back, sounding just as irritated as Mafuyu had expected. “I’m not that unreliable, of course I made sure!”

Mafuyu could almost visualize the way that Mizuki held her hands flat in front of herself in mock defensiveness. The gentle narrowing of her eyes that was more teasing than anything else. “Hey now, I’m not the one who forgot to bring their present a month ago, for, I don’t know… a certain someone currently sleeping on my shoulder?”

And then—

First, there was the indignant splutter that was so often associated with Ena’s disbelief. Then, the gentle brush of her fingers against Mafuyu’s hair as she brought her hand towards her chest. “Hah?” she started and Mafuyu didn’t miss the way that she sucked in a breath - a futile attempt at calming herself. “I didn’t forget! I was just waiting for— for the right moment! You’re the one that was crowding her, like I knew you would.”

A brief pause, where even a pin drop could have been heard, and a sigh - utterly fond and no doubt coupled with a smile. “Sure, sure,” Mizuki hummed. ”I believe you.”

Her tone seemed to suggest that she didn’t. It made Mafuyu so, so desperately want to interject; made her want to protest that Ena wasn’t as unreliable as Mizuki was making her seem, just… stubborn, about particular things and yet— she couldn’t. 

She didn’t need to, either.

Because Mizuki loved Ena as much as Mafuyu did, and in some aspects, understood her even more. Despite all outward appearances, Mizuki knew as well as Mafuyu that Ena could be as greedy with the moments of their lives as she was willing to share. 

While Mizuki often opted to tease; to bicker; to poke, though, Mafuyu was as helpless as they came when it came to falling in line with Ena’s mood swings. She could never quite help wanting to appease her anger with a kiss.

And with the beginnings of a frown tugging her lips down, Ena scoffed. “Look— shut up, will you? I’ve learned my lesson, ok?”

“I doubt it,” Mizuki snickered, and the subsequent sound of her laughter was muffled behind her hand. Following that was the faint noise of humming - briefer than the last, and when she began to speak, Mafuyu had to wrestle with the urge to nod her agreement. “Well, it wasn’t all your fault, I suppose, but—”

Quickly, Ena interrupted her with a sigh. The force of her breath was strong enough to tickle the skin at the side of Mafuyu’s face, as well as disturb the strands of hair that had been plastered there. They fell across closed lids in a manner that almost would’ve been irritating, if not for the situation - and just as quickly as she’d allowed the sigh to tumble past her lips— 

Ena tucked them back behind Mafuyu’s ear with gentle, practiced fingers. “I know, I know. You don’t have to explain to me of all people why you wanted to hog her attention that badly.”

Mizuki made a noise of contemplation—or maybe discontentment at being so thoroughly called out. “I wasn’t gonna,” she whined, and amidst the darkness that rested beneath closed eyes came the briefest image of her swinging their legs back and forth. Mafuyu smiled again against Ena’s stomach. 

“Hey, don’t look at me with such scary eyes, Ena, I wasn’t! I was only gonna mention how you really can’t help being a tsundere—”

“—Hey! Ugh, you little—”

“—Eep! Hey, careful! Don’t jostle me so much, you’re gonna—”

“—Hm? Mizuki? Ena? What’s wrong?”

A slight pause.

The inexplicable sound of silence, accompanied by the TV and the quiet hum of the heater as it combated winter’s chill.

“…Wake her, too,” Mizuki finished quietly. 

Mafuyu’s frown deepened. 

So Kanade was awake. Or—she was, now that Mizuki and Ena’s bickering had disturbed her. They should've known how lightly Kanade always slept, and Mafuyu made a mental note to scold them about it later when she wasn’t so tired. Or so intent on listening in on conversations she wasn’t meant to hear.

Ena’s breathing quietly hitched. “Oh—Kanade, sweetie,” she murmured. Her tone was instantly gentle, and Mafuyu dared herself not to glance up to see the way that she swallowed nervously. “I’m sorry. Mizuki and I were just having a… small disagreement? About Mafuyu’s birthday tomorrow. You can go back to sleep, okay?”

Kanade hummed softly and shifted from Mizuki’s shoulder onto her lap to lay down. “Don’t fight too much,” she mumbled tiredly. Ever the diplomat. “Please?”

And—

There was another pause, then, slightly shorter than the one before. 

An instant where Mizuki and Ena seemed to be just as lovestruck as Mafuyu, before hurrying to allay Kanade’s worries; to let their words act as a salve to her blatant concern.

“We won’t!” Mizuki chirped, and— Mafuyu heard the slight ruffle of movement somewhere close by. The slight dip of the couch cushions as Mizuki repositioned herself, and the small, almost discreet sound of Mizuki cupping Kanade’s hands between her own. “Pinky promise!”

(Mizuki had probably taken the opportunity to entangle their fingers together, too. It left Mafuyu feeling slightly lonely—like she was missing out—and she made a silent promise to herself to make up for lost time tomorrow. She’d hold Kanade’s hand in her left, and Mizuki’s in her right.)

Then, from where they’d been resting against the shell of her ear, Ena’s fingers also shifted. Probably to stroke along the top of Kanade’s head to assure her; to lightly drag her nails across her scalp the way that she liked—the way Mafuyu wished she could.

Kanade’s hair had been extraordinarily soft after Mizuki had bribed her into following her hair care routine, after all. There was almost nothing she enjoyed more than running her fingers through the strands.

“We won’t,” Ena promised softly, retracting her hand again to settle back against Mafuyu’s cheek. She stroked her thumb over the skin. “Sorry, K.”

Kanade simply laughed. The melody was like that of windchimes, and just as beautiful. “It’s okay,” she promised. “I know you two weren’t being serious about it, I just—”

“—I know. Sorry, still.”

Mafuyu wondered why she couldn’t tell which of them had rushed to assure Kanade first. Maybe she was simply too tired to discern who’d spoken first, or maybe it had been both of them— and their voices had melded together until they were indistinguishable. One. 

“Anyway,” Mizuki murmured. “Enanan, how do you wanna handle the gifts this year? The usual way? Or— I don’t know, should we figure out how we could each give our gifts one on one, so you can—?”

“Oh, right. Ena, you’re giving her—”

Mizuki quickly hushed her, though Mafuyu couldn’t fathom why.

“—Right,” Kanade laughed softly. “I almost forgot.”

Ena hummed distractedly. “However you guys wanna do it is fine. I don’t really mind, I just…”

As quickly as she’d tried to make her thoughts known, they trailed into nothingness, dissipating like the final warm rays of the sun before the day transitioned to night. She made a noise that suggested her features were twisting into a frown, and Mafuyu wished so, so badly that she could reach up to erase it; to press her thumb into the corners of her mouth and make her smile again.

Thankfully, Kanade and Mizuki were awake in her place to pick up the pieces: to ease the tension marring her beautiful features.

Kanade sighed softly. Mafuyu could almost imagine how she would peer at Ena gently through the blanket of darkness; the way she would reach to squeeze her hand. Not too hard, of course, just enough to let her know that she was here; willing to anchor her to the earth.

“Just?” she prompted. 

Ena released an aggravated sigh. It wasn’t directed towards Kanade, though— only herself. “I don’t know,” she huffed. “I’m worried she won’t like it, still.”

Mafuyu frowned again. 

How could Ena ever believe there was anything in the world she wouldn’t like, as long as it came from her?

Mizuki snorted in agreement. “She’d like anything you give her, you know that right? You could add a pretty red bow on top of your head and she’d be happy.”

“Mizuki! I’m being serious here, I’m—”

“—She’s right though.”

“See? Even Kanade agrees!”

“That’s easy for you to say! You two have always had this… way of understanding her. I just…”

The uncertainty in Ena’s voice made Mafuyu’s heart ache. It was unlike her to be so insecure. Or… maybe it wasn’t—not really, when they’d all had their fair share of days spent rubbing Ena’s back, assuring her when things got difficult— but at the very least, it’d been a while since Mafuyu had heard her slip back into old habits. A long, long while, and Mafuyu had wished she could keep it that way forever. Even if it seemed ludicrous to believe that Niigo could stave off her fears; her deepest insecurities with love alone.

And if she’d only just managed to restrain herself before from revealing she was awake, and had been the whole time—

Mafuyu couldn’t even begin to describe the sensation that overtook her body, now. That sinking sort of feeling that seemed to compress her lungs and make it difficult to breathe; something cold and dark and heavy that made her so endlessly thankful that she wasn’t alone in this.

Kanade was here, and so was Mizuki, who broke the tension with a thoughtful hum.

“Sorry, sorry,” Mizuki laughed. The couch dipped again, and Mafuyu felt Mizuki’s palm press against her thigh as she leaned forward to press her lips against Ena’s cheek. “You’re so easy to tease that I couldn’t help it. But… you know her more than you think you do, Enanan. There’s a reason she’s dating you, too. Y’know?”

“But—”

“She loves you,” Kanade told her. Gentle but firm as she placed her hand over Ena’s; stroking her thumb over her knuckles. The additional weight of her hand; her warmth seeping into Mafuyu’s skin, however small it really was, was pleasant. “You know that, don’t you? Has there been anything that made you worry, or…?”

Ena only groaned. “Well, no,” she started, and if not for the situation, Mafuyu might’ve wanted to laugh at the mental image of Ena scrunching her face; overcome with the urge to drag her hands down her face. “This gift is just… more personal, you know? I can’t do anything but worry. Seriously, after all the time I spent on them, I’m pretty sure I’ll wanna crawl off the face of the earth if she doesn’t react to it.”

Mizuki laughed again. Somehow, the sound sounded lighter than it had before. “You can’t do that, Ena! I’ll get lonely without you. I forbid it.”

“Hah? What the hell does that even mean…?”

“Mizuki forbids it,” Kanade repeated solemnly. “And… I’d miss you, too.”

“Don’t forget Mafuyu would, too!” Mizuki chimed in, and—

Mafuyu squeezed her eyes shut tightly. If she didn’t; if she allowed the lines on her face to relax and remain unguarded, she would give in to the urge to admire the look on Ena’s face. The steady blush that was surely creeping across her cheeks and all the way to the tips of her ears; the endearing quirk of her lips as a startling squeak stuttered past the tip of her tongue.

“Huh?” Ena mumbled, almost shyly. “Um… yeah! Right. Sorry, Kanade… I didn’t mean it.”

Mizuki’s protest was instantaneous. “Hey! What about me? Why don’t I get an apology? I want—”

Without hesitation, Mizuki’s question was followed by the sound of Ena’s middle finger flicking against her forehead, and an exaggerated whine. 

“Because you don’t need one,” Ena quipped, and—

There was a slight giggle, then a silence that seemed rather endless. 

As Ena’s touch ghosted upward, settling against the crown of her head, Mafuyu felt the tension melt from her shoulders, and her breathing slow. Before she had the chance to fully succumb to her sleepiness, though, Mizuki spoke again.

“I get why you’re scared,” Mizuki said softly. “Still, though. You should trust your gut on this one, okay?”

In the vagueness of Mizuki’s assurance came an unspoken confession that she didn’t actually know if Mafuyu would like whatever she’d prepared, either. Not really, at least—she was simply trusting that Mafuyu would—and Mafuyu didn’t blame her for it in the slightest.

How could any of them really know for sure? Mafuyu wasn’t any more aware of what she liked or disliked than they were. She was learning, sure—about what the warmth in her chest alluded to—and she was still improving (or so Kanade had told her), but— 

Still. 

Still.

Ultimately, she was still blindly fumbling in the dark. Moving towards a goal she wasn’t entirely sure could be fulfilled anytime soon and encouraged forward by the warmest of hands as they tugged her towards the light.

Those same hands were currently tangled with the strands of her hair, and in each other’s, and though the action was faint and went unnoticed— 

Mafuyu nuzzled into the warmth of Ena’s touch. 

And as quickly as she’d allowed a contented, sleepy sigh to fall past sealed lips—one that Ena answered with a quiet laugh—another conversation was woven. One where each thread dangled tauntingly before her. The words were muffled and unclear as the effects of fatigue wore her determination to stay awake thin; as did it blur the line between what she was dreaming and what she wasn’t a little more.

Mafuyu was nothing if not stubborn, though, and those threads wouldn’t remain so for long as she wrapped one around her pinky and pulled - until the faded melody of Mizuki’s voice had gained a little more clarity.

“I really hate it, you know. I mean— you find it a little strange too, right? That people don’t notice it, I mean. I’m not imagining it, right?”

To that, Ena simply sighed. Her dejectedness was as thinly veiled as the anger she so often wore, and her fingers curled a little tighter against Mafuyu’s hair.

“Yeah,” she muttered, quiet and determined and every part as tempestuous as Mafuyu had learned her to be. As capricious and impassioned as Mafuyu was trying to understand her to be. “It’s ’cause they don’t want to notice. They don’t get Mafuyu at all. Not like we do.”

Ena’s reply was succeeded with another, and yet all that lingered in Mafuyu’s mind was a question - one that caused her teeth to sink into her tongue. The action was almost forceful enough to draw blood, and it strangled the life from the sounds rising to her throat.

Even after all this time, why her? What about her made Ena—or any of them, really—want to make such an expression? 

To get angry for her sake… even now, it seemed unfathomable. Absurd, even. To care for her with such ferocity and to be able to pick out the emotions defined as distaste and hold them close to her chest as if they were feelings of her very own— 

It was truly unfathomable to her, when it was so often herself that used to cause Ena’s anger to surge like a raging tempest.

But… even then, and even without looking, Mafuyu could picture her saying it; could envision the way that her fingers curled into her palm to form a fist and the slightly murderous expression that graced her features. 

She knew Ena well enough, at this point, for that and she’d seen it on Kanade and Mizuki’s faces, too, though not nearly as often.

Beyond that moment, then, there were a few sentences more that were spoken on the topic. Mostly from Mizuki, and after an extended silence from Kanade, Mafuyu quietly wondered if she'd fallen back asleep. Or maybe she was simply resting her eyes and enjoying Mizuki’s idle chattering the way she was.

Mizuki’s voice had always been Kanade’s favourite to listen to, whether that be in song, or simple conversation.

Ena graced not a single one of her taunts with a response, instead deigning to throw whatever couch cushion was closest to her into Mizuki’s chest. Mafuyu heard the sound of laughter; something that registered distinctly as Mizuki’s. Bright and bubbly and happy.

There were some more words and phrases she couldn’t quite catch, too, before it grew quiet once again.

Quiet enough, in fact, that Mafuyu was almost able to drift into a gentle sleep, before stillness was interrupted with the beginnings of another conversation. 

"It’s still hard to believe it’s been another whole year with you guys," Mizuki mused, and Mafuyu would’ve had to be deaf to miss the sentimentality in her tone; the reverence that was plain for all to hear. “It feels like yesterday when we were celebrating together, right?”

Ena only laughed. "I mean— yeah? Time flies when you’re having fun, right?" she replied, and no matter how hard she tried to mask it with that subtle, dry sarcasm that often found its way into her speech - there was a little bit of that same awe worn on Mizuki’s sleeve. Obvious fondness, too; unspeakably plain.

Mafuyu would know, after all. She’d spent enough time listening to her to (mostly, at least) figure it out: the nuances of her voice and her every shade of happiness, anger, and all the things in between.

“Besides,” Ena continued. “It practically was yesterday when we last celebrated. Between Christmas, Rin and Len’s birthdays, and the New years— it’s been busy. It’ll be Kanade’s birthday again soon, too. And Valentines.”

Mizuki, however, didn’t appear to want to share in the sentiment. “Stu—pid—,” she said, dragging out the syllables in a way Mafuyu supposed was meant to emphasize her point. “You know what I mean,” and Ena hummed, almost as if to prove her point.

Mizuki seemed to take it as a sign to continue, and there was the faint sound of tapping. A sound Mafuyu had learned to be the drumming of Mizuki’s fingers against her cheek.

“I was trying to say that… I can’t believe that everything’s happened the way that it has, you know?” Mizuki continued, and Mafuyu fleetingly wished that she could have seen the expression on her face as she reminisced. Beautiful and ethereal, like the cherry blossoms they visited every year.

With the way her face was buried against Ena’s stomach, it would’ve been nearly impossible—as was the hope of understanding her or the flickering embers of warmth as they burst to life in her chest—but…

She wished for it, even still.

"I never thought— even though I wanted—” there was a slight pause, filled only by a frustrated sigh as Mizuki searched for words to speak. “I just feel so lucky. I can’t help but think… ah. Never mind, I’m rambling. It’s almost midnight, I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.”

Ena intercepted her rambling with a simple statement. A fact.

"You’re happy.”

Mizuki spluttered. “I—” another pause, where she fumbled and struggled to push past the words that danced on the tip of her tongue. She cleared her throat and tried again. “Well. Yeah. Aren’t you? Aren’t all of us?”

In the silence, Mafuyu had to strain to hear Ena’s reply. She found herself slipping just a little closer towards the edge of unconsciousness, and even though she never quite took the tumble into sleep, she squeezed her eyes shut just a little more forcefully as if willing herself to stay awake to listen.

As disappointing as it was, though - Ena only matched Mizuki’s two questions with one of her own. Another to add to Mafuyu’s never-ending list. “It’d be stupid not to be, wouldn’t it?” she murmured, softly petting Mafuyu’s hair. 

It was then that Mafuyu realised that the hand gently shifting along her scalp had stilled sometime in the past hour. She’d been too tired to even realise how much she missed Ena’s fingers drifting along her scalp when it was gone, and she blamed it for the way it lulled her into a state of calm, now.

The way she was moving her fingers— it wasn’t anything special, but it made Mafuyu’s thoughts infinitely hazier, and she struggled to want anything other than sleep. 

Even as a small, nagging part of her brain begged her to find out more. Not so she could know exactly what the two of them were talking about, but because she could better understand it herself.

Beneath her ribs, her heart did another unsteady somersault. The pace at which it beat was almost concerning; almost enough to give her away with the sheer strength of its volume, and for that— Mafuyu ardently wished it would stop.

In the background, blissfully (and thankfully) unaware, Mizuki continued her onslaught of teasing. “Oh?” she pressed, and Mafuyu could practically hear the smile on her lips. “Is that a little bit of affection I hear?” She gasped exaggeratedly, no doubt clutching a hand towards their chest. “What would Mafuyu think, hearing her beloved Ena being so sappy? Why, she might not even recognize you, with how irritable you usually are!”

She had the nerve to sound delighted. Almost as if she suspected something was amiss, and it made Mafuyu want to grip her by the collar and shake her for it before kissing her senseless.

Maybe Ena was rubbing off on her more than she thought.

An uncomfortable heat settled on her cheeks, as she considered the weight of their love for her, and—

Oh.

Oh.

Pausing, Mafuyu supposed the feeling that had nestled close to her heart was something akin to embarrassment. The heat continued to rise until it had reached the tips of her ears and settled at the base of her neck, dusting each in the same red as the Valentine’s card she’d prepared for the weeks ahead. 

And despite her reservations and the way that her eyelids felt almost too heavy to carry, she wasn’t able to fully sink into the feeling of wanting to escape, and sleep escaped her like grains of sand through an open hand.

“Shut up,” Ena complained, already reaching for another cushion. Mafuyu’s fingers twitched with the urge to stop her from launching it - but Ena stopped midway, simply squeezing into the softness of the fabric, not unlike how her teeth sank into her lower lip. “You already know how I feel.”

Mizuki keened. “There she is,” she jested. “I am being serious about this, though. It’s kind of nice, seeing just how much things have changed over the years.”

“Mhm.” Ena sighed and gently ruffled Mafuyu’s hair. “Especially Mafuyu.”

Mizuki squeaked in— not quite surprise, but close. “You should tell her that.”

“What? No.”

“I mean it! She’d probably be happy to hear that from you.” Pausing to consider the thought, Mizuki brought her hand to her chin - though the action remained unseen. “More than happy, actually.”

Scoffing, Ena shifted to clutch Mafuyu just a little bit tighter. “Please,” she drawled. “That’s exactly why I don’t want to. That, and the fact that she’d pester me about saying it over and over and over again. Seriously— did you even hear her the last time I told her that I loved her? She’s ridiculous.”

In response, Mizuki simply laughed, and the sound mimicked bubbles rising to the surface of the ocean; or rain hitting against a tin roof. Light and unimposing. “Just consider it,” she suggested gently. “Because I, for one, like it when you get sappy like this. Kanade’s already told her anyways - countless times - so it really wouldn’t hurt you to admit it too, you know? I’m sure she’d love hearing it from you. Especially you.”

The night grew quiet the moment Ena seemed to consider the weight of Mizuki’s proposal. “Yeah,” she eventually said, gently enough that Mafuyu could have dismissed the sound of her voice as something the wind had conjured in her imagination.

Even Mizuki seemed a little surprised. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Ena decided. She spoke a little more firmly, this time. More resolute. “I’ll consider it, alright?”

The warmth on Mafuyu’s cheeks grew just a little stronger, and she pressed her lips together as if by doing so she could’ve somehow suppressed it. Now, more than ever, she was sure she’d never be able to get used to the feeling of being so utterly loved.

Especially when she couldn’t do anything to stop it.

It wasn’t as if she could suddenly ask Ena to change the subject or even try to redirect the conversation, after all, because she was supposed to be asleep. Even if she pretended to miraculously wake up, Ena would start to worry about what she’d heard.  And if Ena was worried— Kanade would be too.

Ena wouldn’t be wrong in assuming Mafuyu had overheard far more than she’d bargained for, either.

Ena was halfway through another sentence when she paused. 

It was something that made Mafuyu falter, too, and she found herself hanging onto her every sound. The rustle of movement as she adjusted her position slightly and the faded noise of her sigh before she settled with an unsatisfactory, “Oh.”

Thankfully, Mizuki was there to nudge her a little closer to the edge of the proverbial cliff. “Oh?” she prompted.

“Nothing,” Ena immediately denied, before following up with, “Just noticed the time.” Straightening in her seat, her fingers untangled themselves from Mafuyu’s curls to arch over the top of her head, and this time - the removal of her hand felt far more permanent. Its absence was lonely, somehow. 

“Should we sleep? Uh… I don’t know how we’re going to move Mafuyu, though. She’s still sleeping like a rock, and— god she’s heavy. I think my legs have gone numb.”

(Either Mafuyu was fantastic at pretending to be asleep when Ena’s hand grazed her cheek - almost as if to check on her - or the pair of them were more stupid than Mafuyu thought. She hoped it was the former, or she’d start worrying.)

Mizuki answered with a simple shake of her head and a giggle. “That’s what you get for stealing her from me.”

“Don’t act as if you’d be any different! You’d start whining five minutes in about how delicate you are, and how your legs hurt. You’re such a princess.”

“No, no. It’s fine,” Mizuki said dismissively, and if Mafuyu had turned her head just a fraction she might have seen the way that she draped her hand across her forehead dramatically. “You hate me. You want me to die cold and alone, I get it.”

Ena snorted. “You say that every time it’s not your turn to cuddle. And you’re not alone, you big baby, you have Kanade. Now—” Mafuyu felt her shift again, and when the movement was followed by a brief thud, she assumed that Ena had placed her phone at the end of the couch. “Hold on, we should move her. Help me.” 

It only took half a second for her words to register.

When they did, Mafuyu had to withhold the urge to dig her nails into her palms. She squeezed her eyes shut tight in their stead, and despite her doubts, she hoped that the way her heartbeat pulsed through her veins - alive and warm and far too loud for her liking - was something that would go unaddressed.

Mafuyu didn’t know why she was surprised, really. 

She knew that on the occasion she didn’t doze off beneath the blankets, she tended to fall asleep on one of their shoulders, or with her head in someone’s lap. Then, she would wake up the next morning in bed. Warmth would surround her on all sides and there would be an arm or two draped protectively across her shoulders or her waist; fingers keeping a loose hold from what had once been a much firmer grip.

She was painfully, distinctly aware of that.

But— she’d never been awake enough to really know, nor remember anything about the journey from the couch to her bed.

She knew it couldn’t have been Kanade who lifted her. She didn’t have the physique for it, and she hadn’t really thought about whether it could be Ena, or Mizuki, even if they were the only other options. She’d seen all three of them struggle to open pickle jars, before; seen each of them tire from a simple walk to the convenience store under the summer sun, but—

Now? Now, she was awake enough, just a little bit, when Mizuki helped Ena wriggle out from beneath her. 

As Mizuki took over and hooked one hand underneath her knee and the other behind her back - supporting it - Mafuyu didn’t miss the way that she struggled with her weight, and she was utterly endeared for it. 

Because in spite of the way she struggled, Mizuki’s hold was firm. Almost as if Mafuyu could have slipped out of her grasp otherwise, and as if Mafuyu wasn’t clinging to her like a koala as she allowed her head to fall towards Mizuki’s chest.

“Alright,” Ena mumbled, more to herself than anyone else. “I’ll get Kanade. Will you be fine with…?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I got her. Go get your girl.”

“Our girl,” Ena corrected, and Mafuyu heard the distinct sound of her lips planting an affectionate kiss against Kanade’s skin. 

Mizuki giggled. Then, she leaned forward to place a matching kiss against Mafuyu’s temple. “I love you,” she crooned softly. “You worked hard today, it’s no wonder you’re so tired.”

“She can’t hear you,” Ena pointed out, her voice and her laughter a little more distant from the last time Mafuyu had heard her speak. “Plus, I’m pretty sure that even if she could, she’d—”

“I know, I know,” Mizuki hummed, and Mafuyu could feel it, the way her arms dipped as she shrugged, attempting to balance the weight in her arms as she reached for something unseen. Maybe the lightswitch? “That doesn’t exactly stop you from peppering kisses across Kanade’s face, either, though. Or telling her how much you love her before we sleep. Or— or, how you like staying up talking with me, talking about how precious she is—”

“Hey, wait a second— I don’t— That’s—!”

There was an indignant splutter that only faded when Mizuki shifted further away. Then—silence. 

Or, mostly silence, if Mafuyu were to discredit the way that Mizuki mumbled an amused, “She really thinks her puppy love for Kanade isn’t obvious,” from under her breath as she gently placed Mafuyu onto the bed, near the middle. “She’s so silly. Right, Mafuyu?”

Mafuyu hummed absently.

Mizuki giggled. “Right,” she reaffirmed, and in the moments shortly thereafter, the blankets were tucked just barely over Mafuyu’s shoulders - just the way she liked it. Enough to keep her warm, but not enough to feel suffocating.

“There you go,” she murmured, utterly fond. “Let me— oh. Hold on, actually, let me just pull that back again. Ena will kill me if she has to wrestle with the blankets while holding Kanade.”

Ah, Mafuyu thought. The way she often threatened to, like when she’d thrown that cushion earlier in her haste to get Mizuki to shut up. It was a pity that that tactic never worked.

And then—

Footsteps approached, and Kanade was quietly being tucked in their king sized bed beside her. Even in sleep, she instinctively cuddled into Mafuyu’s side, and Mafuyu bit back a smile as their legs tangled beneath the blankets; as Kanade’s hand fumbled blindly for her waist to hold her near.

Then, Mizuki was crawling carefully over the top of them both to settle against the wall—the way she claimed made her feel the most comfortable—and Ena was sliding in next to Kanade, seemingly satisfied with the way that she had nestled her amongst the blankets as she ruffled her hair; burying her face against her nape.

Oh, how Mafuyu loved being able to fall asleep next to them all. The subsequent mornings where she would be the first to wake, finding all of them pressed against each other in an awkward, uncoordinated tangle of limbs. Messy, but perfect. 

The faint tickle of Kanade's breath as it fell against her skin was almost enough to make her flinch, and she just barely withheld an audible gasp as she felt the warm, fleeting press of lips against her cheek from the opposite side.

(She loved this, too: the quiet moments of undying affection with no expectation of receiving anything in return.)

“Night, Ena. Kanade,” Mizuki said simply, her voice as soft and as sweet as the honey that drizzled across the pancakes Ena adored. The reminder made Mafuyu wonder if Ena knew they had plans to take her there - to her favourite sweets shop - for Valentines. 

(Probably not. Kanade and Mafuyu were much better at keeping secrets than she or Mizuki were.) 

“Mm, night.”

Then— Mizuki leaned in.

Her breath was hot against the shell of Mafuyu’s ear, and Mafuyu could practically feel her smile imprint on her skin. “Happy Birthday, Mafuyu,” she whispered softly. “We love you.”

Mafuyu’s eyes flew open without a second thought. Her lips parted in silent surprise, and yet— before she had the chance to defend herself, or say even a single word—

Mizuki giggled.

She didn’t breathe another word, and instead only held a single finger up to her lips: an indication that this would be their little secret.

And Mafuyu wished she could’ve at least said it back, at that moment; and let her love be known, but— 

The last thing she thought about instead, before she let sleep claim her, was how when she woke up later that morning, this would be the third birthday they were spending as a couple. How it’d be one of those rare moments when Ena forced herself to stir before midday, unwilling to waste a single second of the day dedicated to one of the girls she loved. 

How Mizuki would excitedly stumble into Mafuyu’s arms to ensure she was the first to kiss her, ignoring Ena’s complaints in favour of nuzzling their noses together as she told her that she loved her. 

Kanade would be standing somewhere to the side, waiting for her turn to do the same. A cup of warm tea would be held between lithe fingers, and she would smile timidly at her as she set her gift aside, ready for Mafuyu to open.

For the second time, Mafuyu wondered what each of them had planned as curiosity sunk its claws into her tired form.

She wondered, too, if it was greedy to ask for more than what she already had. If it was okay to plead with any god that would listen to allow her to continue to spend year after year with them by her side.

Mafuyu wouldn’t have it any other way, after all.

Her love for them could never be fit into a single day—or in a year. Even a decade wouldn’t be enough, she needed as much time as she could possibly be allowed.

That was the depth of her love for them: boundless and immense.