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If there was one thing Yunaka had learned in her time as an assassin, it was how to be inconspicuous.
“Hiya Papaya and zappy tidings to you, Divine One! I hope your day will be super duper peppy yeppy! Sparkle!”
Yup. As ordinary as could be.
“Good morning to you too, Yunaka,” said Alear with a smile, plucking a peach from an orchard tree. “How are you doing today?”
“Why, I’m as fit as a fibber and right as wrong!”
Alear chuckled. “Are those how the sayings go?”
“Wh-What do you mean?” asked Yunaka, laughing off her mistake even as she silently cursed herself for it. “Everybody knows ‘em! Don’t be silly!”
“Oh…” Alear muttered with downcast eyes. “The language might have changed in the thousand years I was asleep, then…”
The only thing that commanded Yunaka more than fear was guilt. “Divine One, I… I’m sorry. I lied again.”
Alear blinked as they stuffed the peach into the mystical space that was her pockets. “Again? Really?”
“I just get nervous when I make mistakes sometimes and blurt out an excuse when I should be fessing up.” Yunaka sheepishly rolled her ankle around on the ball of one foot. “I’m sorry.”
“Well, thank you for coming clean with the truth,” said Alear. “I know that’s not an easy thing to do, even with an issue as silly as this.”
“Y-Yeah…” Yunaka murmured. “Divine One, you’re always so forgiving. How do you do it?”
“Me? I just understand you’re a good person,” said Alear. “You wouldn’t lie without a reason is all.”
“Reason?” Yunaka laughed nervously. “I-I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Didn’t you just say it? You were anxious.” Alear smiled reassuringly as she went back to looking through the orchard branches. “You seem anxious in general around me lately, actually. Is everything alright?”
“That’s because… well…” Alear was getting closer to Yunaka and was thus more likely to stumble across her secret? Like heck she could say that. Best to remain vague. “I guess I’m just reluctant to tell you the truth about something.”
“Oh really?” asked Alear, grabbing an apple with her fingers. “What is it?”
“I… I…” Yunaka’s mind flew into a panic. “I… l-like you! That’s it!”
She slammed her hands over her mouth, but it was too late. Alear looked at her with curious eyes… before settling back into her pleasant smile. “Well, I like you too!”
Oh, phew… she took it as a Gal Pals kind of comment. Yunaka forced a giggle. “Yeppers! Y-You’re totally boppin, bestie! Kablammo!”
“Thank you,” Alear replied, pocketing the apple as well. “But why were you reluctant to tell me that? It’s not that hard to say… unless…?”
“U-Unless what?” asked Yunaka, the panic returning. “Unless I meant it romantically that I was crushing on you and dream of kissing you under the moonlight? Because it’s definitely not that! Haha!”
Alear raised an eyebrow. “Yunaka, you’re not lying to me again, are you?”
No! For once, no! But the anxiety in her mind always twisted her brain in weird knots. “I… y-yeah! Silly me, fibbing like that!” she winked and knocked herself on the head with a stuck out tongue as she screamed internally.
“O-Oh.” Alear blushed. “So… you… are crushing on me, then…?”
Not at all!!! “J-Just a bit, yeah. But don’t worry about that! I mean, you’re the Divine Dragon, and I’m silly ol’ me, and there’s no way the two of us could—”
She cut off. Yunaka had never seen Alear look like this before – thumbs twiddling, swaying side to side, mismatched eyes staring at her hands like a flustered teenager. “W…Wow… I don’t think anybody’s confessed that kind of love to me before… people treat me with reverence all the time, b-but…”
Uh oh. Yunaka needed to come clean, quick. “Actually, Divine One, I should—”
“Wh-What do you do in these sorts of situations? You go on a date, right? Grab dinner and chat?”
“H-Huh? Well, I mean, if you want to, but—”
“I-I don’t want to reject you out of hand without giving you a chance,” Alear stammered. “That wouldn’t be fair of me, would it?”
“You should do whatever you feel is best, ” said Yunaka. “But listen—”
“Okay, then!” Alear clasped her hands together with tense shoulders. “Cafe Terrace at seven o’clock tonight?”
Yunaka’s words melted away in her throat. “I… is that really what you want?”
“Like I said, I’ve never done this before,” said Alear, staring at her feet. “But I’d like to. Sorry, is that too soon?”
“That is…” Yunaka looked into her harried red and blue eyes, feeling her resistance vanish. “Just perfectamundo! Oh wowee wow, a date with the one and only Divine One at seven o’ clock tonight! I can’t wait~!”
Alear let out a deep exhale. “Oh, thank you, Yunaka! I hope it goes well. I’ll ask whoever’s on cooking duty today to hold a table for us.”
“Sounds zappin! See you tonight!”
Alear waved awkwardly before running off, clearly embarrassed. As soon as she was out of eye and earshot, Yunaka dug her head into the closest tree’s branches and yelled.
“Dummy, dummy, dummy!” Yunaka cried out, slamming her head into the leaves over and over and knocking several to the grass. “Why did you lie about telling her the truth? Now you’re in a big giant mess and it’s all your fault! Grah!!”
She took deep and ragged breaths, her nerves gradually calmed by the pleasant fruity smell among the leaves and the sunlight filtering through. Alear seemed pretty into the whole date idea, and Yunaka would hate to bring her down. But she couldn’t keep the lie up forever, could she? Well… it was only one night. Yunaka could spend the time with Alear and let her down easy afterwards. Just say that it was more awkward than she expected or that it wasn’t going to work out considering the whole divinity thing. There wasn’t a need to let her know that Yunaka had said a bunch of capital L Lies. Better to pretend that she was a different kind of capital L. Though it wasn’t quite pretending.
Ah well. Nothing to do at this point but wait for the evening to come and prepare for her date.
With the Divine Dragon.
The god and guardian of all Elyos.
Sacred and revered beyond all others.
On a date with her. A onetime assassin who didn’t feel secure if she didn’t pepper her speech with “okie dokie artichokie.”
…How was Yunaka going to make it through this?
Okay. Calm down. She’d never been on a date before herself, so… if she really didn’t want to bungle things, it’d probably be best to ask someone who had. A confidant she could be honest with and entrust with her genuine feelings. …Yunaka didn’t have any of those. Or anybody she could even call a friend. Not on the level this called for, at least. Except for maybe… but that’d be a little bit frivolous, wouldn’t it? A garden variety goof up like this? Though it did concern the Divine Dragon, so… Yunaka probably should talk to her.
She pulled her tangled hair out of the branches, leaves strewn among the stars. She pulled them out one by one as she made her way to Lookout Ridge – thankfully quiet, uninhabited save for—
“Hiya Papaya, Micaiah!”
The Emblem of the Dawn Maiden closed the book she’d been reading and turned to face Yunaka, silver hair catching the morning sun. “Hello, Yunaka. I hope you’ve been well today.”
“Hundred and ten percent!” Yunaka replied with a pump of her fist. “Although… there issssss a teensy weensy little hiccup I may have gotten myself into.”
Micaiah frowned. “Did you accidentally threaten someone with a butter knife again?”
Yunaka crossed her arms. “Hey, that was one time, okay? And only because my instincts—for, er, culinary warfare—took over! I already apologized to Prince Alcryst a bunch…”
“Well, I’m glad that nobody is being held hostage with cutlery this time.” Anybody else would have sounded snarky saying that, but Micaiah seemed genuinely relieved. “What’s wrong, then?”
Yunaka’s fingers fiddled with one of her stars. “Wellllll I was talking to the Divine One and kind of nervous and I mightttttt have told her that I’m sweet on her? Romantically?”
Micaiah covered her mouth with one hand. “Oh my. And you didn’t mean to?”
“No! It was just kinda a lie I blurted out all of a sudden! But she seemed really touched, and invited me out to dinner, and I said yes, and…” Yunaka drooped over, deflated. “I don’t know what to do! Help me!”
“I see…” Micaiah’s eyebrows sloped in concern. “Goodness… you and the Divine Dragon, on a date…”
“You must know about romance, right?” asked Yunaka, who would have been shaking her by the shoulders if she was corporeal. “You gotta tell me what to do!”
“Unfortunately, I know very little about such matters… especially between women.” Micaiah dipped her head apologetically. “I could help if you were asking for ways to assist the poor, or in a complex socio-political situation involving blood contracts, but romantic love isn’t my area of expertise.”
Yunaka almost laughed. “Guess we’ve all got our strengths and weaknesses. But what am I supposed to do…? I’m not close with anybody else…”
Micaiah held her chin in thought. “You could ask the other Emblems for their advice.”
Yunaka crossed her arms. “How? I’m good at pretending to be a social butterfly, but this is real awkward territory.”
“If you would like, I can ask them on your behalf.”
Yunaka’s eyes grew wide and pleading. “You’d do that for me?”
“Of course!” Micaiah smiled brightly. “Just stay right here. I’ll be back shortly.” She twinkled away with a soft vwp.
Yunaka took a seat by the unlit fire pit, loosening up her shoulders and exhaling deep into the sky. Micaiah may not have known much about romance, but surely the other Emblems would – heroes of other worlds, magnanimous and handsome, who had surely wooed their fair share of maidens (or lads) in their day. They may not know exactly how to squirrel their way out of the predicament, but Yunaka could live with that. So long as they could tell her how to flirt noncommittally and not come across like a trained assassin on a date for the first time. Maybe she should’ve given more specific directions.
True to her word, Micaiah popped back into the ridge only a few minutes later. “Mickey! What’s the word?” asked Yunaka, attempting levity.
“Well, I asked all the other Emblems in sight,” she replied, flipping open a small book. “You can read their replies for yourself.”
Yunaka hopped to her feet and moseyed behind her, peering over her shoulder to reveal the notes:
Give her flowers and tell her she looks nice – Marth
Take her hand and promise to stand by her side forever – Eirika
I don’t know how to talk to girls either – Leif
Rub her face. If she falls asleep, blow really hard on her to wake her up – Corrin
Offer her tasty food, like an orange or a bag of flour – Celica
Tell her the following very funny joke: What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved – Lucina
Ask her how her father’s doing lately. If her father is dead, swear to avenge him – Roy
Return a random item she lost on the ground – Byleth
Swear your undying love to her, even if it kills you – Sigurd
Girls? I don’t know anything about girls – Ike
Dress nicely, be yourself, and invite her out to do something romantic afterwards, like sparring – Lyn
Yunaka’s eyes glazed over as Micaiah looked at her expectantly. “Well?”
“...Mickey. I think I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of my knife.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because I’m dead.”
Yunaka stood in front of the cafe, adjusting her ruffly collar and smoothing over her hair as she tightly gripped a bouquet of lilies (Brodia’s national flower). She didn’t have much in the way of fancy dinner clothes, but figured this crimson dress from her homeland would at least look better than showing up in her typical cardigan. She stuck her hands on her hips, bent slightly to one side, and winked towards nothing. “Heya Rutabaga, Divine One! Fancy meeting you here!” She scowled and tried again. “Good to see ya, pumpkin eater!” Ugh, even worse this time. “Hi diddly do, my dragon beaux!”
She slumped over in anguish. Yunaka was a smooth talker when it came to deflection, or flattery, or joking around… but she had no idea how to make small talk, or ask date questions or… well, connect to anybody on a genuine emotional level. It went against her business practices back in the day, and those same business practices made her reluctant to open up now. And she was going on a date with the Divine Dragon. She’d have better luck treating it like a confessional.
“Signorina. Your table is ready.”
Yunaka turned towards the voice. “Clanne, why are you wearing a fake mustache? And isn’t this a cafe?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” said Clanne, stroking the implement in question. “And for this night, we’re not a mere cafe – we’re a full blown five star restaurant!”
“O-Oh, uh… zappy! Lead the way, then!” Yunaka decided not to press the issue as she followed Clanne to her table, laid out with a plaid tablecloth, polished silverware, gentle candles, cold water glasses, and some excruciatingly well-folded napkins. She took her seat and realized something was missing. “Can I get a menu?”
“No,” said Clanne bluntly, walking back into the kitchen before Yunaka could reply .
…Well, this is interesting, thought Yunaka, sitting up straight and surveying the transformed interior of the cafe – dimly lit, bereft of customers, and with a light operatic score in the background. I didn’t know this place could be so. Er. Classy? Is that the right word?
A sudden clearing of the throat. “G-Good evening, Yunaka.”
The familiar voice sent Yunaka’s head turning and her smile back to On. “And a beautiful buona sera to you, Divine–”
Her voice caught in her throat. Before her stood Alear, dress in a royal axure Lythosian dress, cascading locks braided up into a twin stream of red and blue that flowed down her shoulder. A polished silver ring brighter than any Emblem adorned her fidgeting left hand, her right hand moving to move stray hair behind her ear. Despite her squirming, she looked straight into Yunaka’s eyes, smiling as simply as she had earlier that day. “How do I look?”
It took Yunaka ten seconds to process the question. “You… you look… perturbingly superb!” she hastily turned away, unable to look a second longer for fear of combusting.”Y-Yeah! Totally terrific!”
“Aww.” Alear sat opposite from her. “You’re not just saying that, are you?”
“N-No way!” Yunaka waved her arms frantically in front of her face. “I would never lie when it comes to complimenting a beautiful woman—I-I mean—!”
Alear giggled, her cheeks pinkening just a shade. “Thank you, Yunaka… you look wonderful as well.”
Whatever words were in her brain at that moment suddenly disintegrated. Only a weird sort of airy wheeze (a laugh?) escaped her mouth. This was bad. Very bad. It’d be so hard to admit Yunaka didn’t have feelings for her if things kept going like this. She suddenly remembered the flowers in her hand, whose stems must have been crushed by now. “H-Here! For you!”
“Oh! What lovely lilies!” Alear took the bouquet with rosy cheeks. “Thank you so much. I should have brought something you’d like too… like a switchblade or a serrated dagger.”
“O-Oh, don’t worry about that!” Yunaka squeaked, consciously ignoring the fact that she would have probably fallen in love for real if Alear had given her either of those things. When did she start to know her so well? “The only knives we need tonight are for… well, not stabbing people!”
Alear nodded. “Probably for the best. I’d hate to get stains into this nice tablecloth.”
Before Yunaka could get any more mortified, Framme popped out of the kitchen – also wearing a mustache. “Welcome, Signorina, Divine One. I will be your waiter tonight. What would you like to order?”
“I don’t see a menu…?” said Yunaka.
“Ah, pardon me! Here you are.” She pulled out two richly printed menus… that each contained only one item. Chef’s Special – Serves Two.
“Well, then, uh…” Alear looked up at Framme with an awkward smile. “One Chef’s Special, then.”
“Right away, Divine One!” Framme bowed, took the menus back, and headed for the kitchen.
“So, um…” Yunaka sat back in her chair, the wind knocked slightly out of her. “Do you know what’s up with this setup…?”
“I mentioned grabbing dinner tonight to my wardens and they insisted on a temporary remodeling,” Alear explained, looking just a little embarrassed. “They always go the extra mile for my sake.”
“No kidding,” said Yunaka, fiddling with one of the stars in her hair. “I wonder where everybody else is, though. It’s so quiet.”
In the kitchen, Clanne and Framme barked orders to every other member of the army, who scrambled to prepare food with utmost celerity.
“I know what you mean,” said Alear, frowning gently. “It’s a little bit lonely.”
“...Do you get lonely easily?” Yunaka asked, noticing the sad glint in her eye.
“I’m always surrounded by friends and comrades looking after me, whether on the battlefield or in my bedroom. Even when I slept for a thousand years, Marth was at my side all the while. But…” Alear prodded the rear end of her fork plaintively. “There are moments where I’m by myself that I wish that I wasn’t, I suppose.”
Yunaka nodded quietly. Even a Divine Dragon feels isolated sometimes, huh…
“What about you? Do you get lonely easily, Yunaka?”
“Wh-Who, me?” Yunaka giggled and winked. “No way, Jose! Whether I’m in a crowd of a hundred or a room for one, I’m always as bright as can be!”
This was her boldest lie that day. Yunaka couldn’t remember a time where she wasn’t alone.
But Alear didn’t pick up on this one. Instead she accepted it with a warm grin. “I wish I could have your spirit. Sometimes it feels like nothing gets you down.”
The guilt began to weigh on Yunaka’s shoulders. “Um, actually…”
Before she could admit anything, however, Clanne and Framme reappeared, two hands apiece on an enormous silver plate complete with dome cover. “Here you are, Divine One, Signora,” said Framme, setting it in the middle of the table with a grunt. “We hope it’s to your liking!”
Clanne pulled off the dome cover with a flourish, a plume of light steam rising from the dish. Yunaka clasped her hands in wonder. “Ooh, spaghetti and meatballs! You can’t go wrong with that.”
It was the biggest plate of pasta they’d ever seen. “Are you sure this is for two?” asked Alear. “This could feed twice as many pe–”
Too late. The twins had bowed out and left the two of them once again in private. Alear and Yunaka looked at each other for a moment before snorts escaped their lips.
“Let’s dig in,” said Alear, raising her fork.
“Okie dokie, artichokie!”
Yunaka stabbed her fork into the mound of noodles, twirling it around like she used to twist knives into targets’ ribcages. She wondered why they were forced to order this, of all things… not that she disliked the dish or wasn’t feeling it, it just seemed—wait, were they trying to get the two of them to do a spaghetti kiss? There was no way that was a thing that actually ever happened, right? It just seemed so… implausible. Not something that could occur in real life.
“It sounded like you were going to say something before the food came,” said Alear, cutting up a meatball.
“Oh, uh… just…” She suppressed the urge to say something goofy and deflective, her voice lowering. “You said it seems like nothing gets me down, and, well… that’s not true.”
“Really?” Alear popped a chunk of meat into her mouth. “You’ve always seemed so fearless.”
“Me? I’ve gotta be one of the most scared people on this floating rock.” Yunaka put down her utensils before she’d even taken a bite. “I just hide it well.”
Alear swallowed. “...What are you afraid of, then?”
“It’s… hard to say.”
“Murky feelings?”
“No, I know what it is, it’s just hard to share, I mean…” Images – blood, viscera, screams – flashed through her mind. “If you knew, you’d hate me. Anybody would.”
The deep red marinara before her suddenly felt a lot grimmer than it had a second ago. She shut her eyes, trying to think of anything that wasn’t herself… when she felt a soft hand lie on top of her own.
“You don’t have to tell me now,” said Alear, her cadence delicate. “Or in the future, even, if it would be too painful. But I don’t know if I could ever hate you, Yunaka.”
“Are you sure?” Yunaka desperately hoped she wasn’t shaking. “I’m not the most loveable person, you know…”
“I disagree. You’re cheery, and resilient, and even if you have some… insincere… moments, you know what the right thing to do is. And that can be something more powerful than someone who’s always honest.”
Yunaka opened her eyes. Alear was looking into her with earnest warmth, her hand rubbing on top of her own.
“It… honestly made me happy when you confessed to me earlier. I didn’t even realize how much at first. But I’m glad my first date ever has been with you, Yunaka. And please don’t forget that.”
Yunaka heard her heart timpani in her ears, unable to move a muscle. When did it get so hot in here? Were these some spicy meatballs? She hadn’t even tried one yet! I-It wasn’t like she was… infatuated, right? She needed to come clean about her real feelings to Alear, quick, before things sunk any further…
Alear pulled back her hand, appearing apologetic. “Sorry. I should’ve asked before doing that…”
“I-It’s perfectly alright! It just m-made me feel really… really…” There was only one word for it. “Zappy!”
Alear giggled and went back to eating. Yunaka choked down some ice water before finally digging in.
“Let’s talk about something a bit lighter,” said Alear. “Do you have any favorite animals?”
Yunaka coughed as she swallowed a particularly large clump of spaghetti. “W-Well, I love Sommie! Just a friendly little creature! And those sunglasses are killer!”
“Oh, I know! Sommie is just adorable.” Alear took more noodles from the center. “I lose track of the hours I spend petting him.”
“No kiddin? Well, I spend a couple hours a day napping by the pool, so I get it.” Yunaka twirled a forkful of noodles from the middle and plopped them directly in her mouth – and suddenly felt a tension.
At the exact same moment, Alear had also taken a bite of spaghetti.
Strands dangled out of both of their mouths.
…No. No way. This wasn’t actually happening.
They both slurped as hard as they could. Most of the noodles got vacuumed up into their mouths – except one, which hung in a limp parabola between the two of them.
Yunaka laughed nervously, but Alear… continued eating the noodle, moving her head forward.
No way. She’s not—
Alear closed her eyes.
Panic. This couldn’t be happening. Yunaka couldn’t do this to her. Not when she didn’t really love her. Not when she lied to her as brazenly as she breathed. Not when she… when she…
…Not when her head was so far back. Summoning every fiber of courage, she squeezed her eyes shut, tilted forward, and began slurping.
Noodle,
Noodle,
Noodle…
Contact.
Through tomato sauce and parmesan, she tasted raspberry. And blueberry. Mingled together in bright, intertwined harmony.
They parted a second later.
Alear sat back down with a nervous exhale, fiddling with her hair. “Um. Well. That was… a-also a first for me.”
Yunaka avoided eye contact. “Y-Yeah, um, t-to tell the truth… it was for me, also.”
Alear cleared her throat. “Then. Let’s keep eating, sh-shall we?”
“Capitally captivating idea, Divine One!” Yunaka grabbed her fork and knife like her life depended on it.
A pause. “Y-You… you can call me Alear, if you’d like.”
Yunaka’s attempt to restart her heart fizzled out. “Um. Umm…”
“Only if you want to, of course.”
“No no no! I mean, uh, that’s really nice of you…” Yunaka took a deep breath. “...Alear.”
She smiled. And Yunaka realized it was the sweetest sight she could remember.
They ate the rest of their meal in quiet. It felt oppressively awkward at first, as if the both of them didn’t want to talk about what had just happened. But a minute later Yunaka realized it was the opposite – Alear looked comfortable, peaceful even, simply eating food at the same dinner table as her. And despite her regal dress and striking hair, she somehow looked more normal than she had before. A typical girl on a typical date. Not a Divine Dragon. But simply Alear. It was only that name that mattered.
And maybe… only Yunaka’s current name mattered too. Not the one she had previously. The one Alear didn’t know, and said she didn’t need to know. Someday, Yunaka would tell it to her. But for now…
She was on a date. She should enjoy it.
The two finished the pasta in the blink of an eye, exchanging only a little bit more small talk before wiping the platter clean. Framme appeared almost instantaneously as they finished to take the plate. “Will we be having dessert tonight?”
Yunaka and Alear patted their bellies and shook their heads at the same time.
“Very well. Who will be paying the bill?”
“The bill? Nobody’s ever charged me for food here,” said Yunaka.
“Your total amount will come to Two Divine Dragon Autographs.”
Oh. So that’s what this was about. Alear looked almost expectant to see the two blank autograph boards thrust in front of her, signing them as casually as she had eaten. Framme took them with eyes of barely restrained glee before bowing away.
“That was delicious,” said Alear. “I’d love to do it again sometime.”
“A fancy meal like this? I know what you mean,” said Yunaka. “That was some primo pasta for—”
“I meant, uh…” Alear folded her hands on her lap. “Spending time with you.”
“Oh. Oh! Kawowzers!” Yunaka sometimes blurted out the first noise that came into her head for stability. “But, uh, Divine—Alear, there’s something I meant to tell you when I came here tonight that you should know first.”
“Really? Okay then.” Alear sat up properly. “I’m all ears.”
“Right.” Urgh, how was she supposed to tell her that she hadn’t actually meant to confess to her that day? Especially after the date had gone… well? It’d be so much easier to just make up another lie. But Yunaka knew she had to tell the truth. So she took a long, calm breath and opened her eyes. “The truth is… about when I told you my feelings earlier today by accident…”
“Yes?”
“I… I…”
“What is it?”
The words died in Yunaka’s throat.
I don’t actually have feelings for you.
She couldn’t say it.
After all, she had to tell the truth, didn’t she?
“Yunaka? Are you okay?”
“I… I…” The words rushed out of her mouth all at once. “I wasn’t sure how much I was actually crushing at the time. It just kinda… came out without me expecting it. But the more we talked tonight, the more I realized just how I felt about you and I… I…”
Alear looked disappointed. “Do you not want to go out again?”
“No! I mean yes! I mean…” Yunaka smacked herself in the face. “I had a great time tonight, and even if I was nervous I don’t regret it for a second. I… I would love to go out with you again.”
Alear’s worry dawned to elation. “Oh, thank you Yunaka! You have no idea how happy that makes me!”
Yunaka’s own smile came easier than she ever thought possible. “I feel exactly the same way, Alear.”
And she realized that she wholly, truly meant it.