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Pravat loved being a father.
He loved a lot of things in life. Music. Writing. Cooking.
But above all else, he loved being a father.
~
He fell in love with Photjanee in their second year of university.
They were in different faculties, but shared one class in writing. Pravat had always considered himself to be a romantic, wearing his heart on his sleeve and paying the price for it, but in the moment he first laid eyes on her he was hooked.
They didn’t start dating immediately (not for Pravat’s lack of trying), but rather after Valentine’s Day of their third year.
He had been slowly wearing at Photjanee’s defenses for the past year, never wavering, no matter how many times he was rejected. He finally got her to agree to a date with him for Valentine’s Day, and he pulled out all the stops.
He took her to her favourite coffee shop, then a picnic in the park, and finally, he sang her a song he had written for her.
After walking Photjanee home, he gave her a kiss on the cheek goodnight and turned to leave, but she grabbed his arm and kissed him properly.
She pulled away, smiling. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
Pravat stared at her blankly, still dazed. “Um… see you tomorrow?”
She sighed in exasperation, but still smiling said, “Yes, Pravat. I will be your girlfriend.”
~
They got married two years after their university graduation, and Photjanee fell pregnant the following winter.
When she told him the news, Pravat cried for three hours, completely overwhelmed in his joy. He consoled her in all her fears about expenses, work, parenting, just truly excited to be a father.
Throughout the duration of her pregnancy, he did not allow her to lift a finger, no matter how much she berated him and insisted that she was “just pregnant, not injured.”
He counted the days to her due date, everyday falling more in love with Photjanee and their child.
~
When Tinn was born, he stayed up every night to watch him sleep away in his crib.
He developed an obsession with their son. No matter how many diaper changes, spit-up mishaps, and sleepless nights Tinn threw at them, his adoration never waived for a second.
He considered himself honoured to get to watch Tinn grow up into the person he became. Tried his best to be there for every sports day, competition, and event Tinn was involved in, not just to show his son he cared, but it destroyed Pravat to miss any of it.
He truly and honestly loved his family more than he thought humanly possible and would never change anything about them.
Except… he had always wished for one more child.
He and Photjanee stopped after Tinn due to her concerns about finances and having sufficient time to raise another baby, which he understood and accepted.
But oh how he dreamed.
~
He noticed a change in Tinn’s demenor after his 16th birthday.
Neither Pravat nor Photjanee were able to spend the evening with Tinn and it destroyed him to leave his son alone on such an important day, but surprisingly, Tinn didn’t appear to be upset about the circumstances the following day.
Tinn reminded Pravat of Photjanee in most aspects of his personality, but the way he carried his heart on his sleeve was all him.
Shortly following his birthday, he noticed Tinn being more absent minded than usual, as if he was always lost in thought.
And then the dreamy sighing started.
And then the private smiles as he stared off into space.
It did not take Pravat long to realize what was going on, as he had lived this same experience himself two decades prior.
Tinn had a crush.
He had dreamed of finally getting to help with girl troubles as soon as he found out they were having a boy, but decided the best approach was to let Tinn come to him. So he waited.
And waited.
And waited.
And waited.
~
He realized that Tinn had a crush on a boy from the music club not long after Tinn began his third year.
His son did not tell him much about it, but between what he did say and Photjanee recounting her plight with the club head each night, he pieced it together.
He had never considered the possibility of Tinn being gay, but now being faced with the reality of it, he couldn’t possibly consider it a problem. He loved his son too much to do anything besides support him completely in whatever he wants to do with his life and whoever he chooses to love.
He was finally able to put a face to the wistful sighs after seeing the video of Tinn performing in his senior’s bar.
He felt pure, unadulterated pride shoot through his body watching his son conquer his fears and past traumatic experiences to help the boy he likes when in need.
Although his wife was not quite ready to share his sentiment, he comforted her, all the while thinking about when he would undoubtedly get to meet his new son-in-law.
~
Pravat stood by the door, listening to Gun practice his greetings outside. After several minutes he decided to put the boy out of his misery and opened the door.
Finally getting to meet his son’s boyfriend, he could not hold back his excitement, rapid firing at the boy, “Have you been waiting long? How about a drink? Please come inside.”
Gun stared at him apprehensively and looking a tad overwhelmed, so he conceded when Tinn came racing around the corner.
He left the boys to talk and returned to the kitchen, overjoyed and incredibly proud that his son finally managed to succeed with the boy he had been pining after for so long, and he’s so cute at that.
Yes, Pravat thought. He’ll make a perfect son.
~
After their more than slightly awkward meal, Pravat snuck Gun away from his wife and son to talk to him alone in his office.
“Have a seat Gun,” he said, gesturing to a chair across from his desk in his office.
Gun sat carefully, looking much like an animal before the slaughter.
Fidgeting with his hands, he asked, “Is there anything you wanted to talk about, sir? Did I do anything?”
(Pravat has never been considered an intimidating man before in his life, so while not quite what he’s going for in this conversation, he’s still a little exhilarated.)
He’s quick to ease Gun’s worries, patting his arm and reassuring, “No, no, not at all. I just want to know a bit more about the boy that my son’s been wasting away over for three years.”
Gun relaxed a little bit, easing back in his seat, while his cheeks turned slightly pink. He nodded, giving Pravat a small smile.
“Tell me about your family. I heard your mother runs a milk bar, but what about your father?”
Gun’s smile quickly disappears, and all the tension rushes back into his body.
He glances away from Pravat, eyes glassy. “Oh. Well, it's just me and my mom now. My dad died in a car accident when I was little.”
Pain and regret shoots through Pravat’s body. His eyes well up with tears immediately.
Gun is so young.
So young and he’s already been without a father for most of his life. Pravat’s mind turns to Tinn, thinking about what it would be like for Tinn to grow up without him. No father to hold his hand, cook for him, teach him to shave, how to tie a tie. Nothing.
He rises from his chair, rounding the desk to crouch in front of Gun. He grabs his hand and turns Gun’s face to look at his own.
Voice watery, he says, “Gun. I didn’t know. I’m truly sorry for bringing it up and I’m truly sorry for what happened.”
“It’s okay, sir. I’m used to-,” Gun begins, but Pravat cuts him off.
“No, it’s not. I can’t imagine it ever getting easier to talk about and I’m sorry for ruining your evening by reminding you of it.”
Gun turns away from him again, tears finally beginning to fall as he gives a small nod towards Pravat.
Ever the empath, at the sight of the boy’s tears, Pravat also begins to cry. He rises, wrapping his arms around Gun in a hug.
The boy stiffens, but slowly wraps his arms around Pravat, returning the embrace.
“I’m sorry, sir. I’m not usually an emotional person. I didn’t mean to get upset like this,” Gun sniffled.
He squeezes Gun once more before pulling away. “Don’t apologize for anything like that.” He gave a small smile, “I raised Tinn for eighteen years. Do you really think I’m a stranger to tears?”
Gun gave a small laugh and wiped his eyes once more.
“And one more thing, Gun. I don’t want you to feel pressured at all, but whenever you’re ready, feel free to call me ‘Dad.’”
Gun looked at him, eyes slightly wetter, and smiled brightly.
“Okay, Dad.”
~
Pravat loved being a father.
He always thought his family was perfect.
Him, his wife, his son.
But two sons.
Life shone impossibly brighter.