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nico lays on a blanket on the grass with will, annabeth, and piper. he’s between will and piper, with annabeth on piper’s other side. it’s a bright and warm day at camp, and they had wanted to be by the lake, relaxing in the sun.
nico’s laughing at annabeth and will bickering about the logistics of medicinal gods in greek mythology. they turn to piper, whispering, “how long until they start talking about other pantheons?”
“i’m gonna give it like, two minutes max,” piper says after a moment of thought. “and annabeth will be the one to bring it up.”
“i can’t even bet against that,” nico snorts. “i wouldn’t be surprised.”
just as predicted, annabeth soon brings up other pantheons and the gods associated with them. she starts off with the egyptian pantheon, and nico offhandedly mentions, “i’ve met anubis before.”
“you have?!” annabeth gasps, sitting up slightly to look over at nico with wide eyes. “what was he like? what form did he present as? why did you–”
“slow down, beth,” piper laughs, nudging annabeth gently. “let nico think about their answers first.”
nico chuckles softly, smiling softly when he feels will scoot closer to him. “i met him in passing twice – the egyptian gods can only really stay for much longer periods of time if they have a human as a host. so i met him once in his normal form, and in the mortal body that’s hosting him. honestly, he looks … kind of like me but also not.”
“really?” piper says in surprise.
“yeah, he’s paler, though. his hair’s straight, and he appears a couple years older – probably like you and percy, annabeth.”
“that’s interesting,” annabeth muses, furrowing her brow in thought. there’s a look in her eyes that tells nico that she’s hiding something – nico already knew that she and percy had encountered some of the egyptian gods as well, but didn’t tell camp as to not intermix pantheons unless necessary. “where did you even meet him?”
“graveyard in louisiana,” nico hums. “it’s one of his favorite spots, for some reason. didn’t care to ask. thanatos also mentions him in passing.”
“i think that it’s interesting, the fact that all other pantheons exist out there,” will says, playing with nico’s hair gently. “you think the norse pantheon exists, too?”
“it does,” annabeth confirms, and the three of them all turn to annabeth in surprise. “my cousin, magnus, is actually under the norse pantheon.”
“seriously?” piper gasps, eyes wide. “your family is intertwined in two pantheons?”
“yeah, magnus is younger than me, but he’s, er, an einherji.”
nico blinks, racking his brain to try and figure out why it seemed so familiar. as the son of hades, they had knowledge of different terminologies of the realm of the underworld in different pantheons. “he died in battle?”
annabeth nods solemnly, and nico adds, “he’s with the valkyries, in valhalla, right?”
“mhm, he is,” annabeth says with another nod. nico watches as her neck twitches, head jerking slightly as she shudders. “sorry. but, yeah, he’s able to come down on occasion, but he’s typically in valhalla. percy’s also met him already.”
“i’m sorry to hear that he died in battle,” will softly says, no pity evident in his voice – they’ve both lost siblings to war, so losing a blood family member makes it hurt more.
“it’s alright, he’s healthy and happy now, has a partner and everything,” annabeth reassures with a smile. “he tells me stories about the norse gods, from what he’s heard.”
“what kinda ridiculous stories does he have?” piper says eagerly with a grin. “i’m guessing stuff about loki comes up a lot?”
“oh, absolutely,” annabeth laughs. “his partner, alex — his mom is actually loki. when i met her for the first time, it was definitely an interesting conversation. he told us all about the things she's learned on loki’s — well, shenanigans.
“i think magnus also said something about hearing thor getting pissed at jesus,” annabeth laughs, not noticing how nico stiffens. “he challenged jesus to like, a battle? and then he just never showed up.”
will taps nico’s arm gently, whispering, “nico? you okay, darlin’?”
nico stares ahead blankly, body tensed up as annabeth’s words swirl in his head over and over, not listening as piper and annabeth continue talking.
thor got pissed at jesus for not showing up to a battle.
thor got pissed at jesus for not showing up.
thor got pissed at jesus.
jesus.
the jesus.
jesus is real?
jesus… is real.
if jesus is real, then wouldn’t that mean that the christian god is real, too?
even then. jesus is real.
jesus exists.
“nico…?”
“what did you just say.”
annabeth blinks at nico curiously, tilting her head at him. “about what?”
“thor.”
“oh, that he got pissed at jesus for not showing up to a battle?”
“pissed at who.”
“... jesus?”
will realizes what nico was getting at first, quickly sitting up and saying, “hey, nico–”
“jesus,” nico hisses, seething as he sits up. “ jesus .”
realization dawns on piper and annabeth, who quickly share a glance of worry with one another before turning to nico again, sitting up properly.
nico’s shaking slightly, their aura thrumming around them as his anger slowly rises. “you’re fucking kidding me.”
“nico–”
“you have to be fucking kidding me! ” nico yells, throwing his hands up in the air. “he’s fucking real? ”
they glare up at the sky, shouting, “where the fuck have you been, then? what the fuck ?”
“nico, i don’t know if–”
“if he’ll hear?” nico laughs bitterly as he finishes piper’s sentences. “i – i wouldn’t be fuckin’ shocked! when has he ever listened?! do you know how many times i’ve prayed to him, to the christian god?”
nico scrambles up, standing and clenching their fists as he feels anger washing over him. annabeth, piper, and will are all staring with concern, but nico couldn’t find it in himself to care as he continues, “every single fucking night while in italy, i prayed to him so that mamma, bia, and i would be safe. i prayed when we were in d.c., that the war would not impact us while we were there. i prayed in the lotus casino, i prayed at that school, i still instinctively prayed the first few days i was at camp.
“i went to church every sunday and prayed more there,” nico growls out, eyes flashing in anger. “bia prayed that no one would hurt me for me being gay, or even find out. i had to pray that mamma , bia, and i wouldn’t get ill with any of the sicknesses going around. not once were we listened to by him, which at that point i fully shifted to praying to our own gods, only to find out that he’s fucking real ?”
“nico, darlin’,” will says softly, shifting so that he’s sitting up on his knees. “i know you’re upset–”
“i’m more than upset,” nico spits out, although his anger wasn’t directed at will. “i’m fucking livid . i prayed to like girls to not put mia famiglia in danger. i heard mamma pray that our truly conservative relatives would not approach us on the streets. mamma and i prayed for hours when bia fell so ill that she was bedridden for a few days. and not a single one was listened to. the only ones that were heard was when mamma would pray to father, or when bia and i would wish that our father, under the assumption of him being mortal, would listen.”
nico throws his head back, laughing bitterly at the notion of it all. of course jesus would be fucking real, what was their luck? him being real wasn’t what hurt – no, it was the fact that not a single prayer of his, bianca’s, or mamma ’s was taken into account, most likely just listened to and having nothing done about it.
and how fucking dare he? nico had prayed through and for everything when he was younger, and to find out that nothing they said was assisted with despite being heard…
the fates always loved to play such cruel jokes on nico. this just so happened to be their latest one.
“nico,” annabeth whispers, concern still evident in her eyes. “i don’t – we don’t want you to overwhelm yourself–”
“i’m leaving,” nico says suddenly and bluntly, ignoring the cries of confusion coming from the other three. “don’t bother searching.”
nico turns slightly, facing the tree that they were standing next to. he pulls his arm back and punches the trunk where there’s a large shadow, letting the shadows consume them fully to let him travel through.
nico belatedly realizes that they didn’t think about where they were headed to, and curses under his breath. he squeezes his eyes shut, racking his brain for the first safe location that they can think of, and suddenly stumbles out of the shadows.
nico keels over, hands on his knees as he gasps for breath, anger still thrumming through him. he looks up, glancing around the area to figure out where they are.
“styx,” nico mumbles, realizing that he ended up in some neighborhood in manhattan. it was one of the ones he pops up at before heading over to the jackson family’s apartment, but their mind’s still reeling to figure out which direction to go.
nico pulls the hood of their jacket over his head and shoves his hands in their pocket, beginning to walk and hoping for the best. they’d find their way somehow.
nico can’t bring himself to soothe his anger, despite knowing it would be best if they could. he was just so livid at the information he now had, that they wanted to just hold the nastiest grudge of all time.
gods. how was he going to tell percy, or even leo? leo dealt with just as much prayers as nico did, although his was more forced, and nico knew it would fuck him up, too.
nico finds himself in a corner store somehow, aimlessly wandering through the aisles. they grab a lollipop and make their way up to the counter, and his gaze turns to the packs of cigarettes behind the cashier.
“… could i get that pack of marlboro?” nico says suddenly, and the cashier raises an eyebrow at nico. “a lighter as well, if you will. i forgot mine back home, unfortunately.”
“gonna need an id for that, kid,” the cashier huffs out, skeptical over nico’s request. rightfully so, but. nico wanted a damn cigarette.
nico rolls their eyes, smiling sheepishly at the cashier as he shoves a hand in his jacket pocket. they pull out a wallet, taking out an id and saying with faux irritation, “being short and having a baby face has its consequences, huh?”
nico snaps his fingers, out of sight from the cashier. the id itself was fake, but nico knew that manipulating the mist and getting the cashier to further believe nico’s words would help in the long run.
the cashier brings nico’s id up to eye level, staring at it for a moment before handing it back with a smile. “totally get that, dude. friend of mine’s like five feet tall, baby fat and everything — they think she’s like, 16 but she’s actually 25.”
nico nods solemnly as he takes back the id, shoving it back in the wallet. “understandable. it can be rather annoying.”
the cashier grabs the pack and the lighter, ringing them up as well. nico pulls out a card, paying for his purchase before shoving it and the wallet back in his pocket.
they bid the cashier a good day and exits the store, hood back up over his head as he weaves his way through the crowds. they dip into an alleyway, sighing softly as they get a moment of peace away from people.
nico reaches into his pocket, carefully opening the pack and pulling out a cigarette. admittedly, the last time he smoked was a year and a half ago – but before then, it was in italy. there weren’t many restrictions on kids smoking back then, and bianca and nico were able to get away with some drags of a cigarette.
nico grabs the lighter, shakily attempting to flick it on before managing to light his cigarette. he shoves the lighter back in the bag and takes a drag, coughing slightly as they exhale.
whatever the fuck they changed over the years, nico wasn’t expecting it. but fuck it.
nico twirls the cigarette between his fingers as he smokes it, lost in thought as he continues to take slow drags from it. in the back of his mind, they can hear will scolding them for even getting cigarettes, but nico couldn’t find themself caring very much right now.
how the fuck is jesus real? nico’s still struggling to wrap their head around that. and honestly, that may be another factor as to why he’s so distraught. the mere fact that it expands out to the main three religions of the world begs everything else to question, and it gives nico a headache.
and fuck that for giving them a headache. they’ll just direct his anger at jesus himself for now. fuck jesus. if he was listening, nico hopes that he’s hearing every single one of their anger-ridden thoughts and curses right now.
nico leans his head back against the wall, sighing quietly as they flicks the ash off the cigarette. he brings it back up to his lips, taking another drag before exhaling slowly. what a cruel joke for the fates to play on them.
nico glances out the alley, watching as people pass by, the streets of manhattan full of chatter. he sighs again, dropping his cigarette on the ground and grinding it underneath his boot. gods, what does he even do now? they’re much too angry to head back to camp currently.
he heads out of the alley, finding himself gravitating towards another corner store. they’re not exactly sure why, but he finds himself standing in front of the alcohol section. nico frowns, playing with the pack in his pocket as he muses over all the bottles and cans in front of him. he knows that he’s going to get such a scolding from will later, but…
nico eyes the peroni, recognizing it as something his mamma would drink on the rare occasion she’d have a bit of beer – she was much more of a wine person, after all. nico and bianca had taken secret sips of it whenever they thought mamma wasn’t looking.
fuck it.
he grabs a pack of six, pausing on his way back up to the register to grab a small bag or two of chips, knowing they’d get hungry soon.
nico places his items on the counter, already pulling out his id from his pocket. he grins at the cashier, greeting them and holding out their id, snapping their fingers out of sight and saying, “don’t worry, i know i look rather young. here ya go.”
“must be a common occurrence for you, huh?” the cashier chuckles, inspecting his id briefly before nodding in approval, scanning nico’s items. “i figured you would be of age, with how confidently you came up here. some kids always act so nervous.”
“always a dead giveaway,” nico humors the cashier, rolling his eyes to add on to the act. he puts his id away, paying for the items and thanking the cashier before leaving.
glancing around, nico makes sure that no one’s around as he enters another alley before they melt into the shadows once more. he appears on the roof of a random building, and he peers around curiously, trying to figure out where they are. he spots the jacksons’ apartment complex, only a little distance away, and hums in satisfaction, glad to at least be in a familiar area still.
nico takes out a bottle, concentrating and waving his hand, conjuring up his knife. he’s been practicing his magic even more recently, and has been using it to summon smaller things from the underworld.
they bring the blade up against the cap, striking it and popping off the cap. nico sniffs it curiously, subconsciously smiling slightly at the memory of his mamma drinking it. he takes a small sip, humming at the flavor before gripping the bottle tighter, tilting his head back and chugging half of it in one go.
nico gasps slightly for breath when he lowers the bottle, settling it down and wincing at the flavor in their throat. they open one of their bags of chips, and then pulls out another cigarette from the pack as well. he lights it, taking a drag and puffing out the smoke before munching on his chips, getting lost in thought.
their mind isn’t clear yet, still foggy in his anger and distress. everytime his mind goes back to what they learned, the anger within him boils up once more. nico wants to scream , but he knows that he can’t exactly do that out of nowhere. they angrily take another swig of their beer, glaring out at the landscape of manhattan.
nico’s not just angry. he’s frustrated. furious. livid. he’s enraged .
they know that chiron’s explained before that dealing with the metaphysical can be rather difficult, and thus he and mr. d don’t really explain that aspect to the campers. but the knowledge of other prominent figures being real would have been nice.
nico realizes another reason as to why this was affecting him so much – they can practically feel the catholic guilt eating away at him from the inside. as he takes another drag, they can feel their stomach churning in distaste at the possibility of every catholic child he was around being right in that he’d end up in a place like hell.
nico blinks as they realize that the bottle is empty, not realizing he finished it already. he grabs another, striking off the cap with their knife again before taking a swig. they crush the butt of the cigarette with the bottom of the empty bottle to put it out as they continue to muse over his current situation.
what if they were right? what would nico do then? but, no, that couldn’t be, because hades would never allow for nico to end up in the fields, which was essentially the greek version of the catholic hell. being a demigod son of hades, as well as a proclaimed hero of the second titan war and giant war, there was no way he’d get sent there.
but what would happen if somehow, a devout catholic was on that judgment panel? he would still be subject to judgment, even if hades could sway decisions if he so wished. what if that judge fought for nico to be sent to ‘hell’, because of him being gay and nonbinary?
nico scowls at the thought, shoving another chip in his mouth. no, that couldn’t happen. but what if – no, no, it’s best for him to not think about it too hard. there was no point in putting too much unnecessary thought into all of this.
but then again, how unnecessary was it? nico’s mind wanders to other points of his confusion and distress. what, then, is he supposed to make of the entire concept of sin, and praying it away? to what extent did jesus care about all of that? in the back of his mind, there’s a lingering fear of even questioning such a thing, but they can’t help but wonder, especially with the fact that none of the prayers were heard. how much did these ‘sins’ matter, then?
to what extent does ‘entertaining the devil’ matter, then? nico and bianca were always warned about how they approach people and situations, to not let the devil take over and influence their decisions. the lingering fear in the back of his mind is ever present, and nico can’t help but wonder if there was even a devil in the first place. when he tries to think of their mythology knowledge, they remember phosphorus, god of the morning star venus, whose name in latin was lucifer, which then got absorbed into christianity. was the devil merely rooted in that, or did it become its own being as christianity rose?
and what of the entire concept of praying? nico prays to hades, of course, but that’s because he’s his father and nico knows he’s real, and that he listens. nico can’t even think of how many times he’s prayed throughout his life. they had prayed, minimum, nightly before bed with bianca, and mamma liked to do a brief prayer before dinner every night. they had all gone to church weekly, and nico and bianca were taught to pray if anything wrong were to happen, to make sure they were safe, or to pray if they got too anxious that something will occur.
nico brings his legs up to his chest, leaning his forehead against their knees. they twirl the mostly empty bottle in his hands, already faintly beginning to feel a little off from the alcohol. what, then, does that mean if jesus heard everything but never did anything?
nico pauses in his playing with the bottle, furrowing his brow in thought. was everything he prayed for heard, but not accounted for? did that include when bianca was bedridden with illness, or when they were shoved into a brief few months of poverty before mamma could find a new job? what about when bianca prayed for no one to figure out nico was gay? nico’s prayers to like girls instead – despite knowing that couldn’t be something that was changed, nico still felt like it was ignored out of spite.
what about when nico and bianca prayed to know who their mamma was, when they were in the lotus casino? what about nico’s prayers that bianca would be safe with the hunters, and that she would return safely?
nico’s head shoots up, eyes wide in realization.
nico’s prayers that bianca would return safely.
his prayers that bianca wouldn’t die on that quest.
percy, solemnly approaching him to deliver the news.
nico knew, of course, that that was the moment that their faith began to falter, slowly falling apart as they realized that his prayers couldn’t keep his sister safe.
but now, to know that it was most likely listened to, but no attempt was made? it didn’t matter that fate couldn’t be changed, in nico’s mind – the fact that it was heard with nothing being done makes nico feel ill.
nico waves his hand, banishing the rest of his chips and beer to the underworld – hades had helped nico learn how to do so, and that any food he sends immediately gets sent to be part of tantalus’s punishment.
nico scrambles up, hand covering his mouth as he frantically searches for a shadow. they had to get out of here – he needed to get to someplace familiar, he can’t focus, he’s beginning to panic–
nico finds a shadow, immediately diving for it and melting into it, stumbling out of them to be right in front of the jacksons’ apartment. he heaves, gagging slightly as he catches their breath, his spatial awareness slightly skewed as he knocks on the door hurriedly.
the door opens slowly after a moment, and aunt sally peers out from inside. she gasps softly, ushering him in, and nico stumbles inside, gasping and trying not to hyperventilate. “nico–?”
“i– i can’t–” nico gasps, clawing at his throat. his anger, despite still being present, was mostly transforming into panic and pure distress as he thinks about his prayers not being paid any mind. “can’t – c-can’t breathe – hurts –”
“nico, dear, you smell like cigarettes and beer,” aunt sally says worriedly, gently pulling him further inside and shutting the door behind them. “goodness, what happened – paul! come quick!”
paul quickly rounds the corner, eyes widening as he sees nico hyperventilating, whimpering and gasping. “what–?”
“get a glass of water and some aspirin, and perhaps something small to eat,” aunt sally orders, and paul nods, swiftly turning to hurry into the kitchen. “come, cariño , let’s go sit down… estelle’s down for a nap, don’t worry about waking her…”
nico hiccups as aunt sally leads them to the couch. when he sits, he immediately keels over, gripping his hair and sobbing quietly, still unable to catch his breath.
“hey, nico,” paul says softly, suddenly kneeling in front of nico. “hey, kid. can you try and breathe for us? i promise you’re alright, you’re at our apartment.”
“h-he’s real ,” nico sobs in despair, one of his hands letting go of his hair to hit his head. paul’s hand shoots up, gently moving nico’s wrist, and nico hiccups, “he’s fuckin’ – he’s actually real –”
“who is real?” paul questions, sharing a confused glance with aunt sally. “nico?”
“j-je– jesus,” nico gasps out, coughing as they choke on an inhale. “jesus is – jesus is a-actually real – he’s not – h-he’s not fake–”
understanding suddenly dawns on aunt sally a moment quicker than it does on paul, and she whispers hurriedly, “nico, cariño, i need you to try and breathe, okay? you’re okay, and safe. focus on trying to get your breathing under control.”
nico lets out another sob, his other hand letting go of his hair as well to scratch and dig his nails into their skin, banging their fist against their thigh or head. aunt sally clicks her tongue softly at him, grabbing their wrist, and nico throws his head back against the couch, gasping and coughing as they sob and continue to try and calm down.
everything’s just spinning around him, and nothing feels right . he desperately needs to induce some form of feeling onto their body, to reassure himself that he’s real and not somewhere else, but nico’s wrists are trapped by both paul and aunt sally. paul, however, seems to understand, and he gently rubs his palm against the skin of nico’s forearm, trying to help nico ground themself.
aunt sally whispers words of reassurance to nico all the while, and soon, nico’s sobs reduce down to hiccups and sniffles, quiet tears occasionally streaming down his cheeks. he shifts so that he’s looking back at paul and aunt sally, neither of them having any form of judgment present in their expressions. “i– i’m s–”
“don’t apologize, dear,” aunt sally whispers, rubbing her thumb against nico’s wrist. “we were just worried – we weren’t expecting you to show up, much less to you having a panic attack. are you feeling a bit better?”
nico nods slowly, leaning his head back once more against the couch, not wanting to face them.
“you smell like beer and cigarettes,” paul points out, and nico groans softly, squeezing his eyes shut in shame. “nico, were you drinking and smoking?”
“two cigs and two peroni bottles,” nico mumbles in admittance, knowing it was no use to lie about it, especially if they could both smell it on him. “not much. but enough.”
“i’m not even going to ask how you got them,” aunt sally sighs, shaking her head. nico knew that she could figure it out easily – fake ids and the mist were one hell of a combo. “but nothing more than those?”
“yes, aunt sally.”
aunt sally nods in approval, and paul asks quietly, “what made you so upset, nico? i know bits from what you were saying, but – do you need to talk about it?”
nico takes a deep, shuddering breath, before sitting up properly. his head stays tilted down, shame over their actions suddenly washing over them. “will, pipes, annabeth and i were all talking… we w-were, um, talking about the different pantheons. and the norse one got, er, brought up.”
aunt sally hums to indicate that they were both still listening, and nico continues, “and then she– she mentioned that – from someone she, uh, knows under that pantheon – they said, that, uh–”
nico takes a deep breath, sniffling as they whisper, “they said, er, that thor had… challenged j-jesus to a battle. and that jesus never showed up.”
paul makes a noise of understanding, and aunt sally’s expression falls slightly, and nico knows that it’s because she knew just how catholic nico was raised. “oh, nico, sweetheart–”
“and then i thought about all of the prayers bianca, mamma and i had made to him,” nico hiccups, wiggling his wrist from paul’s gentle grip to roughly wipe at his eyes, not wanting to cry again. “a-and then, i-i just – i just lost it. i couldn’t h-handle the fact that it was all being heard this whole time, and … nothing was done. or it was ignored.
“and then i, uh. i left camp,” nico chuckles sheepishly. “and, well – you can already smell it on me. but… before i came here, i… i thought more about it, and h-how i had prayed for bianca to be safe and return safely from her q-quest…”
nico takes in a shuddering inhale, his chuckles turning bitter. “and i just… felt sick . i know the fates can’t be ch-changed, but – ignoring the prayers, for years and years a-and more years…”
paul squeezes nico’s arm gently in reassurance, and nico smiles weakly at him, knowing that it’s a bit harder for paul to respond than it was for aunt sally.
“oh, mijo ,” aunt sally whispers, reaching up to brush a curl behind nico’s ear. “i’m so, so sorry. unfortunately… as you said, the fates can’t change the paths. and i’m sure su padre did what he could to make it as painless as possible. i can’t imagine what you’re feeling.”
“i feel like everything was done out of spite,” nico sniffles, shaking his head. “i-it just – i can’t think of any other reason. when i prayed th-that i would like girls, or when bia prayed for none of the kids to bully me, especially for being g-gay… and it still happening, i can’t help b-but think…”
“i don’t know much of the logistics of how this all works,” paul says carefully, biting his lip in thought. “but… i think, to some extent, perhaps lord hades listened in instead, and tried to help as best he could…?”
“i think the fact that su padre listened and tried to help is something that may make you feel better, mijo ,” aunt sally says with a soft smile. “i know it’s not the same… and i understand how frustrating this all is. i’m only guessing you haven’t told percy or leo?”
“gods, no,” nico sighs. “i … just immediately left camp. i dunno how to even tell them, if i do.”
“you can tell them at your own pace,” aunt sally reassures. “what you need to focus on right now is taking care of yourself while you process all of this.”
“this is one hell of a thing to learn suddenly, especially with how your upbringing is,” paul adds gently. “if you attempt to tell percy or leo, without having fully processed and even healed from this – all people involved would be driven into a panic, including you.”
“percy, honestly, may not even care too much,” aunt sally admits, shrugging as she thinks about it. “he was never into it, and neither was i – but … gabe, he still did a bit of a number. leo, on the other hand… i’d only tell him if you were ready, if you had fully accepted it and managed to move forth from it.”
nico sniffles, nodding slowly in understanding as they take in what both paul and aunt sally were saying. he can’t even imagine how leo would react – he’d probably end up in the same predicament nico’s currently in. “i c-can’t help but think that i – that i’ve somehow let the d-devil influence me. especially with – with my parentage and all…”
aunt sally coos at him softly as paul hands them the glass and some aspirin, nico downing it thankfully. aunt sally sits next to nico properly, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand and saying, “ cariño , there’s no such influence on you. you know that.”
“but if jesus is real, then how much is everything else real?” nico protests, wincing at the headache slowly kicking in. nico never understood why, but alcohol always burned through his system a lot quicker than for others. “who – who’s to say that sins under catholicism aren’t real? what – what if they are and – a-and they’re also implemented on judgment day?”
paul stays silent, knowing that aunt sally would probably be able to take over and reassure nico a lot easier than he could. aunt sally sighs softly, reaching up to gently turn nico’s head so that they were facing her. “listen to me for a moment, mijo . okay?
“you said yourself that the underworld is perceived in whatever faith the person believes in. you, as the son of hades, know what the underworld looks like as it stands, because of your parentage. and when you visited for the first time, it was never perceived as the catholic hell you were warned about, yes?”
nico nods slowly, blinking at aunt sally, who continues, “i know that chiron said that metaphysical things like this are tricky to talk about. that’s probably why he didn’t mention anything about these religious figures being real, especially when you’re first coming into camp.
“but even so, if this judgment day were to come, you would still be judged by people on that panel, where you know the majority of them. as a demigod, you’re going to be judged for how you lived your life as one, not for something like if you’re gay – or using the mist to get alcohol and cigarettes while underage.”
nico chuckles weakly at aunt sally’s teasing tone at the end, and she smiles at him softly, cupping his face in her hands. “i know that the guilt is eating you up, but i’d hate for you to live like this. you’ve already moved on, praying to the olympian gods now. percy told me of your hades altar. if you still wish to be part of the catholic faith as well, that is fine, so long as that’s what you want, and not because you feel guilty.”
nico sighs, nodding against aunt sally’s hands. “i… i understand.”
“good.” aunt sally pats his cheek lovingly, and paul chooses that moment to hand over an apple to nico. they take it gratefully, taking a small bite as aunt sally adds, “paul, be a dear and check on estelle?”
paul nods, standing and ruffling nico’s hair before going to estelle’s room. aunt sally turns back to nico, saying gently, “are you sure you’re okay? do you need to stay here for some time?”
nico mulls over it for a moment, and he nods slowly. they don’t think he can go back to camp right now – he’s got to cool down fully first.
“that’s alright, dear,” aunt sally says with a smile. “go up to percy’s room and take a nap – i’ll let percy know you’re here, he may want to come by. you should also tell will that you’re here and safe as well.”
“yes, aunt sally,” nico whispers. “i… thank you.”
aunt sally smiles at him, rubbing his back gently before shooing them up to percy’s room. nico munches on their apple quietly as they get up, heading over to percy’s room. they run into paul, who’s now holding estelle in his arms, chuckling, “someone decided to wake up now.”
“ni!” estelle squeals gleefully, waving at nico with a grin. “ni!!”
“hi, estelle,” nico says softly, gently holding estelle’s hand and squeezing it before letting go.
paul nods at nico before going over to aunt sally, and nico heads into percy’s room, quietly shutting the door behind him. he sighs, running a hand through their curls as they try to think. he spots a spray bottle on percy’s nightstand, and he picks it up, finding a patch of sunlight in the room and spraying it. once they create the rainbow, he digs in his jacket pocket, pulling out a drachma, flipping it into the mist and whispering, “oh iris, goddess of the rainbow, please accept accept my offering.”
the mist shimmers brightly, and nico takes a deep breath. “will solace.”
it shimmers once more before it shows an image of will in nico’s cabin, trying to find some way of getting in contact with nico. nico clears his throat slightly, and will whips around, eyes wide. “nico!”
“hi,” nico says weakly, watching as will hurries over to the iris message.
“where are you? we’ve been worried!” will says, and nico sees the slight red rim in will’s eyes, his heart churning in their chest. he hates when will’s upset, much less when it’s them making will upset. “is that percy’s room?”
“yeah, i – i’m at aunt sally’s,” nico confirms, watching as will’s expression softens with relief. “i– i’m sorry.”
“you’re fine, darlin’, you just had us worried,” will reassures softly. “are you okay?”
nico wrings his hands nervously, not knowing how to answer that. how was he supposed to tell will of what happened? “i…”
“nico?”
“i smoked two cigarettes and drank two bottles of beer,” nico blurts out, grimacing when will sighs at the information. “and i – i tried hurting myself in my panic – nothing bad, just – just hitting my head and scratching, to feel something. i’m – i’m really sorry –”
“thank you for telling me,” will says, and nico sniffles, roughly wiping at his eyes. “i’m just glad you’re safe. is percy there, too?”
“no, but aunt sally said she’ll let him know i’m here, too,” nico mumbles. “i– will, i’m really sorry–”
“i don’t want you continuously apologizing, hon’,” will interrupts gently. “you apologized once, and i said you’re alright. get some rest first, and then you can shadow travel back to camp whenever you’re ready. okay?”
“okay,” nico whispers. he hesitates for a moment, and will tilts his head, asking, “what’s up, hon’? you can ask or tell me.”
“love me still?” nico whispers weakly, avoiding will’s gaze. he plays with the rings on his fingers nervously, waiting for will’s response, hoping that it’ll be that he still does–
“of course i love you, silly,” will says, and nico looks up to see will smiling at them gently. “you freakin’ out about jesus being real after being raised in such a catholic environment isn’t gonna make me mad. fates, i’d be just as freaked out as you.”
“okay… okay.” nico manages a small smile at will. “i– i love you, too.”
“go get some rest, darlin’. i’ll see you soon.”
nico nods, waving his hand through the mist, watching the iris message dissipate. they sigh, kicking off his boots and falling back onto percy’s bed with a quiet groan. they close their eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to calm all of the racing thoughts and emotions within him.
when he opens his eyes again, they find that he’s curled up in bed, warm orange and purple hues filtering into the room as the sun sets. “styx,” he mumbles, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.
“language.”
nico yelps, turning towards the voice frantically before relaxing, seeing percy sitting in his chair, playing on his ps5. nico watches as percy saves the game and turns the console off, and percy turns to nico fully. “hey, kid.”
“fuck off,” nico says weakly. “how – how long have you been here?”
“about two hours, you’ve been out for four.”
“styx.”
“ language .”
“i’m sorry, percy,” nico sighs, knowing that aunt sally told him of nico’s predicament without mentioning the reason why. “i just…”
“hey, you’re fine,” percy reassures, getting up to go and sit next to nico on the bed. “i’m glad you’re safe and okay. i dunno the reasonings of why you got so upset, but i’ll focus on the fact that you made it here okay. even though you did smoke and drink.”
nico groans softly, hiding their face in their hands in embarrassment. percy ruffles his hair, saying, “i’m not here to judge you, neeks. i just want you to be safe.”
“i know,” nico mumbles, weakly glaring up at percy. “i just… sorry.”
“you’re all good,” percy says with a shrug. “do you need to talk about what got you upset?”
nico hesitates, mulling it over. after their nap, honestly… he feels a lot better than how he did earlier. did he still feel frustrated at the concept? absolutely. but he knows that it wouldn’t toss him in a spiral if they were to briefly talk about it. the question was, should he tell percy about it now?
nico looks up at percy, who’s tilting his head curiously at him. nico sighs softly, knowing that percy wouldn’t freak out as much, and that he deserved to know – he could even help nico figure out how to tell leo.
“neeks?”
“well… annabeth, piper, will, and i were talking about the different pantheons.”
“mhm.”
“and she brought up the norse one.”
“oh, did she talk about magnus? he’s a chill dude.”
“she did. and, uh… she mentioned – things that their own gods got up too, like our own.”
“oh? like what?”
nico takes a deep breath. here goes nothing.
“thor apparently challenged jesus to a battle, and he never showed up.”
percy blinks once, twice, and nico waits for the dots to connect in percy’s brain. once it does, percy’s jaw drops, staring at nico with wide eyes. “you mean–?”
“that jesus is real?” nico chuckles bitterly. “yeah.”
“oh fuck, neeks. i’m so sorry.”
“language.”
“not the time,” percy teases, but his face falls once more. “i – fuck .”
“i don’t even know how to tell leo,” nico whispers. “he… he’d blow a fuse, to say the least. and i was worried about how you’d react, but aunt sally said you probably wouldn’t be affected as much.”
“my reaction is that i’m worried about you and how you feel about it,” percy protests. he opens his arms, and nico immediately dives for the hug, burying their face against percy’s shoulder and breathing in the familiar scent of the sicilian beach. “gods, now i understand… i can’t imagine how you felt.”
“it felt like fuckin’ shit,” nico grumbles. “i’m – i’m a lot calmer now, but… it still hurts a lot.”
“i need you to remind yourself that you are not what your guilt is telling you,” percy says firmly as he pulls away, hands on nico’s shoulders. “promise to do so?”
nico nods, the two of them knowing that it would be difficult for nico to swear on the styx on such a thing. “i – i appreciate you being here.”
“of course, nico,” percy hums. “wanna head back to camp? are you feeling better, enough to shadow travel?”
“i think so,” nico mumbles with a nod, letting percy help him up. they hastily shove on their boots, adding quietly, “can we … all of us?”
“i can see if we can get frank and hazel there as well, even reyna and thalia,” percy confirms, knowing what nico was asking for. “thalia and reyna may be nearby – and last i heard, frank and hazel were visiting d.c., so i think they can get up here by tonight.”
“thank you,” nico sighs with relief, the two of them heading downstairs.
aunt sally looks up from where she’s playing with estelle, gently handing her off to paul before going up to nico and percy. “are you boys heading back?”
“yeah, we’re gonna try and have a little get-together with all of us, it’s been a while since we all did that,” percy says with a shrug. “we’ll eat whenever that happens, promise.”
“i know you will, mi ángel ,” aunt sally chuckles, giving percy a hug before going to give nico a hug. “you take care of yourselves now, okay?”
“ sí, mamá, ” percy whines, sticking his tongue out at aunt sally. “i’ll still come by this weekend.”
“and i’ll try to visit when i can,” nico adds, smiling at aunt sally when she lets go.
they bid their goodbyes to the three of them, before nico grabs percy’s hand, pulling him into the shadows, melting through it until they end up in front of nico’s cabin.
percy turns to nico, hands on his hips as he says, “alright, i’m gonna tell the others you’re here. will’s still in your cabin. we’ll try and see if the others can come by tonight – do you want your cabin or mine?”
“either is fine by me,” nico says with a shrug, and percy nods. percy pulls nico into a one armed hug before jogging off to find annabeth and piper.
nico takes a deep breath as they turn to the door of their cabin, pushing it open and entering. they close the door softly behind him, calling out, “ tesoro? ”
will perks up, having been sitting on nico’s bed and reading a book. he hurriedly puts a bookmark to save his spot before scrambling up, rushing over to nico and pulling him into a hug. “oh, nico, darlin’, i’m glad you’re okay.”
“i’m–”
“if an apology is what you’re gonna say, you best keep that to yourself,” will scolds gently, and nico’s mouth snaps shut. will pulls away, hands still on nico’s arms as he glows softly, clearly checking if there was anything to worry about. he sighs in relief when he finds nothing, kissing nico’s forehead and mumbling, “i’m glad you’re here and safe.”
nico nods, biting his tongue so that he won’t blurt out another apology. will smiles at him, brushing a curl away from obscuring nico’s vision, saying, “promise you’re okay?”
“i am,” nico says softly. “well, not 100%. but – i already had my whole. uh, spiel of thoughts, and i talked about it with aunt sally and paul. percy knows, by the way.”
“i figured you’d tell him,” will admits.
“percy’s, uh, helping me get reyna, thalia, hazel, and frank here,” nico says sheepishly. “i kinda – i just really wanted all of us together again. so, uh, yeah.”
“of course, darlin’.” will smiles. “do you need me to do or get something?”
“just be here with me until then?” nico whispers, and will nods, tugging him over to the bed. they sit next to each other, leaning back against the bed, and nico cuddles close to will. will chuckles and rubs nico’s arm, teasing, “for someone who hates touch most of the time, you’re a real big cuddler.”
“shut up,” nico grumbles. “can we – watch something?”
will nods, pulling out his laptop from his bag, apparently having anticipated this. he opens it, saying, “what do you wanna watch, hon’?”
“can we watch that stupid alien movie again?” nico asks, peering up at will. “e.t.?”
will laughs softly, kissing nico’s forehead, nose, then his lips. “of course we can.”
only a couple minutes into the movie, nico tilts their head up at will, who curiously looks down at him, humming, “what’s up, hon’?”
“nothin’,” nico mumbles. “just – grateful for you. and love you. lots.”
“well, i’m grateful to have you too, and i love you lots as well,” will chuckles, leaning down to give nico a brief kiss. “don’t get all sappy on me while we’re watchin’ e.t., now?”
“boo. it would be peak romanticism.”
“oh, you’re absolutely ridiculous.”