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He was a little nervous, going out for the first time, he knew everything he needed to, he was confident in his ability to protect himself and civilians, but he was just a little nervous. They had been out for about three hours, and Jason was having the time of his life, it was hard, and it was scary and it made his blood pump fast through his veins but most of all.
It was fun.
It was the most fun he'd had in a while, not that that was saying a whole lot, given how his life had been going up until now.
But he enjoyed it, he enjoyed being Robin, helping people. He hadn't expected to, at first, he'd been scared, not of what might happen to him, no, he'd faced the streets of Gotham before, he'd been stabbed and beaten and everything else, he'd been born there, he knew how to live and breathe the violence, he knew how to handle it.
What he was scared of, was the possibility that people, victims, the people he was trying to help would see his face, his crooked nose, the scars on him, and find him scary, that he wouldn't be able to smile and laugh and bring light and joy everywhere he went like Dick had. that he just wouldn't be good enough.
At first, he'd just said yes to robin out of fear that he wouldn't have a place to live if he didn't, That Bruce wouldn't want him anymore if he wasn't robin.
But, he had fallen in love with it: being Robin. And he might have only officially been Robin in practice for a few hours, but he could tell after just a few hours, he was gonna be Robin for the rest of his life.
He and B jumped rooftop to rooftop, side by side, he was a lot smaller then Bruce, completely covered by his looming shadow. but it wasn't intimidating, for once in his life he felt safe being next to a man twice his size.
It was going smoothly, well as smoothly as a patrol in Gotham city could go, which was a lot smoother the he honestly expected, they stopped a few muggings a few attempted assaults, but none of the rouges had been out tonight, so that was a good sign.
Or at least he thought it would be.
That was until he heard the gun go off.
Then white hot, blistering, blinding pain shot through his entire body like an electric shock of, well pain.
Now Jason wasn't any stranger to pain, in fact quite the opposite, but this type of pain was just different, he really didn't have a way to describe it other then it hurt, a lot.
Now in hindsight he really should have expected this, but the possibility of getting hurt had never even crossed his mind.
He fell backwards with the force of the blow, pressing a trembling hand to the wound he felt sticky, hot liquid slipping through his fingers as he tried to stop the bleeding,
And no matter how hard he wanted to cry he forced himself to stay calm "Bruce." he said calmly into the comline "Yes?" Bruce replied, voice cold as ever.
"I need medical" He stated, his voice wavering, but steady in the way it was supposed to be, in the way Bruce had trained him to be. There was a worried silence on the other end of the line before Bruce spoke once again.
"Report." Bruce instructed, voice going impossibly harder.
"Shot." He panted "Lower chest." he tried his best to keep his words from sluring, tried his best to stay awake, but attempting to stay awake was like trying to fill up a bucket made of Swiss cheese.
He could vaguely hear Bruce speaking to him, but he couldn't for the life of him make out any words.
eventually the black spots in his vision took over his entire line of sight and he felt his world tip sideways.
He wasn't sure how long he was out, but it couldn't have been terribly long seeing as he woke up to Bruce running over to him.
He couldn't see Bruce's facial expression through his mask, but something in the way he moved seemed frantic, controlled, trained, but frantic, worried.
Then, he blinked, and suddenly he was in the back of the bat mobile even more wet and sticky. Blood, he realized, he was bleeding, he needed to stop that, preferably as soon as possible.
So, he pulled his hand up to his chest and pushed down on it as hard as he could, trying his very best to stop the bleeding, he's not really sure if it really did anything, but it did give him something to do, a reason to stay awake.
He wasn't really sure is he succeeded in his quest to stay awake, but he was alert enough to know when they made it back to the cave, and awake enough to stubbornly get out of the car himself (he may or may not have fallen flat on his face, but he did get out by himself, so.)
Bruce all but carried him to the med bay, where he sat him down on the edge of a medical cot, Jason promptly flopped backwards onto it, not having enough strength to sit for any longer.
Pretty soon after Alfred walked into the room, gave Bruce a disapproving look and walked towards Jason,
only turning his attention away from him to set up the surgical tools he would need to get the bullet out of him.
Alfred didn't say a single word as he set everything up, nor did he speak as he fluttered around the room,
grabbing pain medication and anesthetic and all of the things he would need to make sure that Jason didn't die from this.
He didn't even speak when he handed a small plastic cup to Jason, inside of it sat two blue pills. "What's this?" Jason asked, trying his best not to sound angry at the man currently saving his life.
"Pain medication" The butler responded curtly, not angry, but, clipped, worried.
Jason wordlessly sat the container down beside him, turning his head back to Alfred.
"Do it without" he said stoically, trying his best to appear strong, trying not to show how anxious and in pain he truly is.
"Master Jaso-" the man started, but Jason cut him off.
"Do it without" He said again, his voice close to pleading
The older man stared at him for a moment before nodding "Very well." He said in a sigh, and got to work.
Alfred got the bullet out and stitched him up in record time.
He was tired, so he headed up to his room pretty much as soon as Alfred was done.
As soon as he shut the door behind himself, he allowed himself to break down,
not only did he cry from the pain he was feeling (he had adamantly refused any and all pain medication stronger than Motrin.) he was also crying from fear, from the very real thought that one day he might go out on patrol and end up not making it back home.
He needed to be better, he knew he did, the first Robin didn't get hurt in his first time out, and he certainly didn't cry afterwards.
He wasn't sure that the first robin had ever gotten shot.
He surely never forced Bruce to carry him to the bat mobile.
Jason didn't know how long he had been crying, or how long he would have continued had the knock not sounded on his door.
His head shot up, he sniffed and wiped his eyes, getting up as quickly as he could without aggravating his wound.
He opened the door to Bruce, a plate of fruit in hand.
Bruce wordlessly stepped inside, placed the plate of fruit on Jason's desk and walked out the door, giving Jason a soft pat on the head on his way out.
The door swung shut softly, and Jason's eyes fell on the plate of cut fruit on his desk.
He felt a smile form on his lips, a fond feeling forming in his chest, something akin to what he felt for his mother.
Maybe Bruce really did care about him.
And maybe, just maybe he could allow himself to care about Bruce.