Chapter Text
2:38 am
count bleck created a group chat
count bleck added nastasia to the chat
count bleck added book to the chat
count bleck: :D
<<< Void Gang >>>
8:47 am
nastasia: ummm count?
nastasia: why did you make a group chat at two in the morning?
nastasia: and why is the third member just
nastasia: book
count bleck: …
count bleck: :D
nastasia: no
nastasia: two in the morning, count
nastasia: you should’ve been…i don’t know
nastasia: sleeping?? maybe??
count bleck: count bleck does not need to sleep :D
nastasia: yesterday i saw you put an entire shroom cake in the sink
nastasia: you then proceeded to turn on the tap and squirt several ounces of soap onto aforementioned cake
nastasia: something no person who isn’t sleep deprived would ever in their lifetime do unless they were having a mental break
count bleck: …
count bleck: it was a very dirty cake :D
nastasia: the septic tank is clogged now
count bleck: oh no!
count bleck: anyway :D
count bleck: do you like the name? :D
nastasia: uh…not really.
nastasia: it makes it sound like we should have motorcycles or something
count bleck: n
count bleck: nastasia
count bleck: should we have motorcycles??? :D
nastasia: oh god no
nastasia: honestly the image of you on a motorcycle
nastasia: bothers me
nastasia: also you don’t actually have legs
nastasia: so you’d probably just
nastasia: um
nastasia: fall off???
count bleck: D:
nastasia: seriously though why are we in a group chat we could literally just talk to each other
nastasia: like, in person
count bleck: but nastasia!
count bleck: then someone would be left out!
nastasia: what who
book: hello
nastasia: what the actual
book: i am book
book: i see all
nastasia: count pardon me but what the fuck???
nastasia: a book cannot text
book: i beg to differ
nastasia: count are you just typing for the book?
nastasia: are you using two accounts right now?
book: count bleck does not oops
count bleck: count bleck does not know what you are talking about :D
count bleck: the book speaks for itself :D
book: yes
book: speaking for myself can confirm
nastasia: …
nastasia: ok that’s it
nastasia: when’s the last time you actually slept?
book: i dont sleep
book: i am book
nastasia: COUNT.
count bleck is offline
book is offline
nastasia: figures
12:13 pm
nastasia: well count i’ve made a decision
nastasia: if this weird group chat is going to be a thing now
nastasia: i’m going to make it useful
count bleck: ?
nastasia: let me be admin
count bleck: oh
count bleck: well
count bleck: count bleck can’t actually do that :D
nastasia: wh
nastasia: why not???
count bleck: book is in charge :D
book: hello again
nastasia: wuuuajshngfdjgjfgskl
nastasia: fine
nastasia: book
nastasia: let me be admin
book: hm
book: hmmm
book: no
nastasia: why.
nastasia: not.
book: earlier
book: impolite
book: unworthy
nastasia: sorry but could you actually speak in goddamn full sentences
book: aggressive much
book: you are unworthy
book: you were impolite
book: …
book: you offended me
nastasia: THIS MAKES NO SENSE BOOKS DON’T HAVE FEELINGS
count bleck: :O
count bleck: nastasia how could you!!
count bleck: book is trying to tell you they feel invalidated!!
count bleck: you are being very mean >:O
nastasia: drfuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggg
nastasia: fine ok book hey hi
nastasia: i’m sorry, k?
nastasia: i acknowledge your existence
nastasia: and feelings
nastasia: now can i please please be admin
book: …
book: liar
book: ulterior motive
book: manipulation
nastasia: oh come ON
book: no
book: i like it you’re cool
book: truce
book made nastasia an admin
count bleck: aw i knew you two would get along :D
nastasia: whatever that didn’t happen
nastasia: now about making the group chat useful thing
nastasia made the group chat public
count bleck: why D:
nastasia: you said we needed more people right?
nastasia: to help with the void stuff
nastasia: why don’t we see what kinds of people show up?
count bleck: hmm…what does book say?
book: one condition
book: whisper whisper
count bleck: yes :D
nastasia: ?
count bleck changed the group chat name
nastasia: oh you have got to be kidding me
<<< Chat Group For the Destruction of Existence :D >>>
6:58 pm
nastasia: count
nastasia: count
nastasia: count
nastasia: …
nastasia: …book?
book: wut
nastasia: this chat name is terrible please tell the count to change it
book: you change it
book: admin
nastasia: what?
nastasia: me?
nastasia: i can’t if it’s what the count wants
nastasia: i mean i can’t just decide to change it when he obviously wanted it to be this way
nastasia: that would be like saying i don’t respect him, and i do respect him of course, even if for this one thing i have a few doubts, it’s not like i’m doubting HIM i’m just doubting his decision, respectfully, which doesn’t really say anything about how…
nastasia: …
book: ?
nastasia: book
nastasia: i am talking to a book
nastasia: where did i go wrong
book: i chose the chat name
nastasia: oh yeah that that explains a lot
count bleck: nastasia :D
nastasia: COUNT THANK GOODNESS PLEASE CHANGE THE CHAT NAME
count bleck: why??? D:
nastasia: how many people do you think are going to look at our chat’s name and say
nastasia: hey that sounds like fun let’s do that
count bleck: count bleck would join :D
nastasia: count i hate to break it to you but that is literally because you are depressed
nastasia: i told you last week to work therapy into your schedule because you are depressed, were you even listening to me?
count bleck: yes :D
count bleck: well no D:
count bleck: book says therapy is too expensive for count bleck
count bleck: who has no money :(
book: truth
nastasia: count we’ve been over this just sell the monocle it’s not even fashionable
nastasia: and your eyesight is fine
count bleck: count bleck likes the monocle! D:
nastasia: look i’m just trying to budget here
nastasia: neither of us can get a job
nastasia: i mean i actually have one obviously
book: count works for me
count bleck: :D
nastasia: …sure ok, but neither of us gets paid
book: i pay
nastasia: um with what exactly?
book: instructions
book: to destroy existence
count bleck: :D
nastasia: rrrrrright too bad that can’t buy us like
nastasia: FOOD
nastasia: CLOTHES
nastasia: INSURANCE
count bleck: don’t forget count bleck’s therapy :D
nastasia: yes that
nastasia: plus the septic tank thing
nastasia: i have to hire a plumber
nastasia: but the only plumbers around seem to be, um
nastasia: really bad at plumbing?
nastasia: and really good at everything else
book: heroes
nastasia: what?
book: nothing
book: look over there
book is offline
nastasia: um
nastasia: point is if we’re going to fund universal annihilation
nastasia: well we’re gonna need a way to do that
count bleck: charity :D
count bleck: for the destruction of existence :D
nastasia: c
nastasia: count no one would donate to that
count bleck: count bleck would :D
nastasia is offline