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Sharon Carter was no fool, though she’d been forced to suffer them most of her career. Something she was bound and determined to never do again after being betrayed by one too many people she’d thought had her back.
She doubted she’d ever fully trust anyone again, but Sam Wilson came close. He’d honored his word–gotten her that pardon that brought her home. Back to her family, back to the work that she’d once thought was in her blood. He was good in a world where most people weren’t. Reliable in a world full of disappointments.
Against her better judgment, she believed in the new Captain America. Wanted to see him succeed. Wanted to be right about him when she’d been wrong about others. And when one dealt with Sam Wilson, one had to accept Bucky Barnes as part of the parcel. She’d been down that road before, risking her career, freedom, and life for a man willing to risk his career, freedom, and life for Bucky. A man who apparently never saw her as anything other than a placeholder for her aunt.
What the fuck ever–Sharon was over it.
Mostly.
She hid her amusement as she sat across from Bucky now, knowing damn good and well he’d only accepted her request to meet for sushi because something was in it for him. That was how they worked. They never did lunch on their own, but damn if Bucky wasn’t shadowing Sam every time she planned something with the other man.
That was fine. Really. She wasn’t looking to go there–definitely wasn’t looking to mix it up with another Captain America. And definitely wasn’t about to insert herself in the mix to get left behind again. She’d had enough of men with divided hearts, men whose key impulse was to protect Bucky. She doubted Steve had ever really fully unpacked his devotion to the man; and it looked like same shit, different day with Sam now.
Well…maybe not quite the same. Whatever was between Sam and Bucky seemed deeper than what had come before. Something that for whatever reason both Sam and Bucky seemed content to skate around and ignore, putting all kinds of names on it to deflect what it really was.
She suspected they were in love. She suspected that neither of them knew it, which made it damned exhausting for everyone else.
So here she sat with Bucky, fishing for intel on Sam’s mission. It had been top secret, one that Bucky had stayed behind for, the two men working less and less together as Sam built Team Captain America and Bucky took more jobs with the convoluted Thunderbolt team that General Ross had dreamt up. She knew Bucky. Knew Sam. Had seen them together enough to know that if Bucky wasn’t working with Sam, there was a good reason. Ross may think he was playing Bucky, but if Bucky was working with the Thunderbolts it was because Bucky wanted to…was probably working an angle that ultimately meant protecting Sam. She kept these observations to herself though, watching it all play out with accessing eyes as she played her own long con.
“So any idea when Sam will be back?” She tossed out casually, taking a delicate bite of yakisoba because sushi wasn’t her favorite. She’d only suggested it to get Bucky on the hook. If she was here for information, she could only guess what had made Bucky come. If she was placing bets, she’d put her money on it being part of some social interaction quota he had to meet to please his new therapist. She knew he was in therapy because she knew how to find shit out, but this new therapist did a damn good job of protecting her clients, so she’d never gotten any further than that. Bucky had a good one this go around, and she suspected Sam had something to do with that. Sam had probably suggested he continue therapy to begin with, and since Bucky’s main objective in life seemed to be pleasing Sam, he’d complied.
Fuck, they were so married.
They just needed rings.
A certificate.
And to give into their obvious chemistry and put everyone else out of their misery. Watching them dance around the issue was headache inducing.
“He said he’d help me with some moving.” This wasn’t a lie, part of a real conversation she’d recently had with Sam over text about upgrading to a bigger apartment in the city. He’d clock her right away if she lied. She had to proceed with caution because Bucky didn’t trust her. Didn’t really trust most people. If you were a Wilson or Wakandan, you probably made the cut. Everyone else not so much, though the hot new Falcon and derisive new Black Widow appeared to be wearing him down. Sharon might have been offended that she didn’t rate after all she’d sacrificed to help Steve help him if she wasn’t impressed by Bucky’s instincts. He was right not to trust her; the fact he viewed her as a threat was a compliment. She liked him for it, suspected he might grudgingly like her for their sparring exchanges too. They were cut from similar cloth, she and Bucky Barnes. In another world–one where there wasn’t all that history and distrust, one where she hadn’t gone soft for his childhood best friend and been left in the lurch–they would probably be friends. Maybe even more. Hell, in another world–one where Bucky Barnes didn’t exist to keep distracting attractive men away from her–she knew she’d make a play for Sam Wilson.
But she lived in this world. And hey! While she had no desire to get in the middle of another epic love story–living in her beloved aunt’s shadow was such a bitch!–maybe if she ever got these two idiots together, she could convince them to let her in on a little fun. She’d never settle for being a third wheel in their fated romance, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t cruise between them for a night or two. She bit her bottom lip, her eyes falling to Bucky’s massive shoulders as she let her mind wander along that tantalizing trail for a bit. Wouldn’t that be a hoot–the three people Steve Rogers left behind without a thought mixing it up in the best way? Too bad he’d never know it. She was pretty sure he’d passed, though she had no confirmation. If she ever found out he was alive and where he was, she’d send him a fucking postcard of it–maybe give him heart palpitations. Maybe his heart would give out at seeing any of the three people he could have had have each other.
No…fuck. She didn’t mean that.
Didn’t really wish him harm.
Mostly.
She was just pissed she’d stolen his shield, the wings and had his back…and all she’d gotten was a price on her head and a life in hiding while he disappeared to the past to romance her fucking aunt.
“Shar?” She blinked back to the present, noticing Bucky’s bemused look. She’d either been ogling him for the last minute or scowling like the salty bitch she was when thoughts of Steve surfaced. “Hmm?” She took another bite of noodles.
“I just said by helping with moving, I’m sure Sam meant me. That’s what happened last time we moved someone. Rhodes. Sam sat back and directed me while I did everything. Rhodes wasn’t even there.”
Sharon suddenly felt a little evil. She couldn’t help the impulse really. The last few years she had to take amusement where she could get it. Sometimes the only way to find out things was to stir up a little shit. So sue her…she wanted to poke the bear a bit…or rather the Bucky bear. (Idly she wondered if the other man even knew that had once been a thing. Probably, if Sam had anything to do with it. Sam wasn’t the sort to just let something that might embarrass him slide. Married.) “Rhodey, hmm? I didn’t know that was still a thing,” she said with perfect innocence before sipping her iced water. 3,2,-
“What do you mean, a thing?”
Fuck he was so easy to lead when it came to Sam. “Oh you know. Sam and Rhodey. They had quite the thing back in the day. I’m surprised you hadn’t heard that. I’m surprised it’s still going.”
“I…” Bucky stabbed a piece of sushi with a single chopstick, shoving it in his mouth. Impressive that it didn’t fall apart, actually. But then she supposed Bucky knew how to stab things just so. He chewed with a vengeance, trying to hide his grimace with a mouthful of food. Poor dumb man. She almost felt sorry for him. “It isn’t. Still going. I would know.”
“Would you? It doesn’t appear you even knew it was a thing to start with?” She smirked a little, dark eyes narrowed as she judged his reaction. If he just stopped to think, he’d realize she was full of shit–how would Sam and Rhodey have had time for a thing with everything else that was going on…and wouldn’t their divided sides during that Avenger Civil War bull shit be a much bigger deal? After that, there was Rhodey’s accident. Sam on the raft. Sam on the run. Thanos. The Blip. Technically something could’ve happened before Bucky and Sam partnered up for the whole Flagsmashers hoopla, but Sharon was hiding in Madripoor, so how would she have known it? But no, none of those things occurred to Bucky because Bucky couldn’t think logically when his heart was involved. And his heart was named Sam Wilson.
He stabbed another piece of sushi, looking a little ill, probably thinking over every interaction he’d witnessed between the two. Second guessing every government assignment with Colonel Rhodes involved.
She sighed, giving it up. She had what she wanted. A reaction. A tangible reaction that she could see and Bucky could feel. Maybe her methods weren’t pure, but oddly enough she actually meant well. How were these two dumbasses ever going to take it to the next level if they didn’t acknowledge what that level was? Jealousy by her estimation was a sure-fire way to make things happen. If Bucky realized he was jealous, he’d have to eventually realize why, right? “Oh wait, my bad. It wasn’t Sam that Rhodey had the thing with.” She shook her head dramatically, batting her eyes prettily. “Who was it again? Clint…no, that’s not right either. I can’t quite remember.” She remembered exactly who Rhodes had the thing with, but it had no bearing on this situation other than it wasn’t Sam.
Bucky’s glower would have set a lesser person on fire, but Sharon had become both used to and immune to pissed off men. Whatever. “Why are you so horrible?” He growled.
“What?”
“Don’t do that. You had the wrong person?”
“Yeah, what’s the big deal?” It was only a big deal if Bucky had feelings for Sam. Surely he would realize that any second now.
“It’s not. A big deal.” Sure Buddy. “But you just can’t go around saying things like that…”
“You’re right. Sorry for being horrible,” she said simply, and yeah, she felt slightly bad as a mix of emotions washed over his face. Irritation. Confusion. Definitely relief. And finally, sadness. Wait…sadness?
Oh shit. Had she overplayed her hand? Made a miscalculation somehow? It was hard to get a read on Bucky…hard to predict where his mind would go.
He took a deep breath. Another bite of sushi, his face going blank as he fell back into the covert assassin mode that had been a part of his make-up for so long. The one whose expression gave nothing away. “It’s…it would be a good match,” he said carefully. “Rhodes and Sam.”
“You think?”
“Yeah.” He took a drink of his beer. That chiseled jaw was tightly clenched even as he affected an air of nonchalance. “They’re both good, ya know? Accomplished. Steady.”
Sharon felt the heart she would swear she’d walled away sink ever so slightly as she heard what he didn't say.
Unlike me.
Bucky didn’t feel like he was good. Or accomplished. Or steady. And for that reason, he’d never let himself imagine being with Sam. He would wall up his heart as surely as she had done in Madripoor, never letting himself hope for anything more.
Oh, this was bad…very bad. She frowned, desperately wondering how she could fix it, intuitively knowing she couldn’t because the problem was Bucky and his lack of self-worth. “They’d…probably bore each other,” she said softly. “Sam has always struck me as needing more of the fixer upper sort.”
“Still, he deserves someone good…like Rhodey,” Bucky returned quietly, concentrating on his plate of sushi as he said it. He blew out a tight breath before looking at her again. “So, when do you need to move?”
Sharon knew they were through discussing Sam. Bucky’s guards were up, his level of suspicion on high alert. Not only was she shit out of luck when it came to intel on Captain America’s whereabouts, it felt like she’d managed to drive the two men further apart rather than bringing them closer together. She really didn’t want Sarah Wilson to hear about this. Or Yelena Belova. Fuck. With a sigh, she waved toward the server, suddenly needing something a helluva lot stronger to drink than water.