Work Text:
Feferi Peixes User’s Manual
We are popping the biggest bottles here at WHAT PUMPKIN HQ and we would be more than happy to share with you the sparkling apple juice we’re partying with, readers! If our only contact wasn’t through these manuals or via our hotline at least. What’s the occasion, you might ask? Why, we are finally completing the final manual in our ALTERNIAN TROLL UNITS line! That’s right everyone, this is the final entry to our plethora of main characters from the iconic and hilarious HOMESTUCK WEBCOMIC. It’s time to unveil FEFERI PEIXES, WITCH OF LIFE and bubbliest HEIRESS OF TROLLKIND. Now, don’t think this will be the last from us at all folks, we’re really cooking with petrol, firing off all cylinders, all the irons in the petrol fueled flames! But for now, sit back, sip on your drink of choice as Emma and I {and Hal too if I’m being honest} regale you on all the deets about our favorite fishy princess!
Legal Asscovering Agenda
So, just to lay down the ground rules and answer any moral/ethical questions one might have, all HOMESTUCK UNITS are homegrown, ecto-biology created individuals all capable of rational thought, expression of self and existence, and personality. No humans, animals, insects, plants, aliens, etc. were harmed in the making of these individuals and no mindscrewing of innocent individuals like a cheap sci-fi series occurred either. Not only do our units look like their comic counterparts, but they think and act like them as well! How we achieved this is waaay too technical and complex and frankly boring to describe so I’m just gonna say this: We did it, there was green slime involved, and now we have these guys. Look you can prostrate in front of us and weep tears of joy later, right now I have a manual to monologue while the fresh meat-I mean newest employee {I can see you rolling your eyes Emma} faithfully transcribes my words for your reading pleasure.
This however doesn’t mean that your unit might not have a negative reaction to learning that they were created with the sole purpose of replicating their fictional persona from a webcomic {Last time we tried to explain the situation to a prototype...eh, that’s not important and nobody died so it’s fine. Yes Emma, I know our lab got wrecked and you were terrified, so were half of the other guys}. So when the time comes to have the sit down to explain the birds, bees, and ecto-biology machines to them, be patient, kind, and preferably in a situation where physical harm isn’t a concern.
So yeah, back to the moral stuff so our lawyers are happy with us. While a majority of our beloved cast are around the 13 YEAR OLD marker, {or 6 SWEEPS OLD in the case of the TROLLS}, WP has taken the liberty to adjust the UNITS ages to a more appropriate and less creepy 21 years {10 SWEEPS}. This is in part due to unfortunate implications and situations that may arise with users interacting with our units, who would have been underaged individuals. Also in part because it is really sketchy when you unbox a literal teenager from our shipping. It’s weird enough doing it to an adult, a kid makes it even more squiwcky. Don’t fret and wail at the thought of your problematic fav no longer being exactly how you envisioned them (they probably don’t as they are anyway), their personalities are unchanged and this age change has been done with both you and the unit’s favor in mind. It also allows the unit to have more freedom in their new life with you, such as driving a car, getting a job, going to Nickel Shot Night, ect. Oh yeah, your UNIT is totally capable of getting a job {Keeping it is another story…} if they so desire and can greatly assist you in the running of your household, but we nor you run slave labor so don’t be an ass. We’ll list out some possibilities for each in case you and your new chum decide to flip through the classifieds or troll around some sites one day.
And since every single one of those damn shippers want to know, yes your UNIT has fully anatomical parts associated with their species and gender and NO we here at WP are not going to describe the intricacies of TROLL genitalia for you. What’s in their pants is their own business {unless they want to show you}. The normal rules of society still apply: no non-con touching, no groping, and no otherwise inappropriate touching or actions without their explicit consent. {Good luck trying to use coercion on any of them anyway, you HAVE read the webcomic right? These guys can get violent fast and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself}. However, romance waits for neither man nor troll and our UNITS are fully capable of developing feelings for others, whether it’s another UNIT, the people around them, and even you. {Another reason for the age up too}. They can be romanced if you so desire but we recommend that you wait on this until they learn the whole “You’re fictional constructs from a webcomic given life, blah blah blah” since that can be a breach of trust and lead to relationship issues galore {Jeez Emma this is getting boring can’t we skip to the good stuff? I’m sure the readers are thinking the same thing}.
Good news folks, we’re just about done with all this legal asscovering according to Emma {and for once those were her words not mine!} and we’ll be right on the road shortly! Just remember:
We here at WHAT PUMPKIN are not responsible for any BLOODSHED, MAIMING, MUTILATION, SICK FIRES, CHAOS, and/or SHENANIGANS that may occur with the purchase of our products! As the user of our amazing service, you’re responsible for the CARE, WELLBEING, and SAFETY of your UNIT and any failure to properly tend to them will lead to UNFORTUNATE IMPLICATIONS and even REMOVAL of your UNIT. Any and all DAMAGE that may occur to your, your property, and others will likewise be attributed to you. Now, onto the good shit! Take it away Emma!
Unit Information
Name: Feferi Peixes
Additionally Answers to: Fef, FF, Feri, Sparkles, Princess, Your Highness {She finds this one stuffy}
Species: Troll
Blood Hue: Fuchsia {As one of the rare members of this elusive hue, skip on down to the bolded section of this same name to get further info regarding the major perks Fef’s gonna have.}
Classpect: Witch of Life
Age: 21 years old/10 sweeps old
Date of Birth/Hatchday: September 21st (As it is the International Day of Peace, we only found it fitting for our dear Fef who wanted to end a cruel hemospectrum ruled system and marking her as a Virgo is all the more fitting for her kind nature.)
Trolltag: cuttlefishCuller [CC]
Your Unit comes with the following
One set of casual clothes {All of which are made of water resistant materials and includes prescription goggles and jangly bracelets}
One ALTERNIAN royal tiara {Thankfully not a Crocker Corp Tiara mind controlling piece of shit, just a pretty accessory!}
One set of Derse pajamas
One fuchsia pirate coat and hat {A cute nautical outfit inspired from her times in the dream bubbles.}
One fuschia tablet {It took us ages to safely create this waterproof tech without accidentally shocking in water.}
One fuchsia shellphone {Sure she doesn’t have one in canon, but Feferi deserves a special sea themed phone. As a treat.}
One Ψdon's Entente {The start of my fish/ocean puns, and it won’t be the worst one, I swear! This is a threat.}
One Brainfork {Yeah those are real brains, but luckily no gross discharge! Bit of a mind fuck why they don’t but we’re not going to look a non-leaky brain in the cerebellum!}
One Gl'bgolyb plushie {We can’t feasibly create and deliver an actual GL’BGOLYB UNIT due to her massive size, environmental requirements, voracious appetite, and tendency to produce a VAST GLUB capable of killing all TROLLS if not properly fed. But we still want Fef to have a reminder of her lusus and something to cuddle. Also this thing is Huge as a scaled recreation, nearly big as Feferi is tall!}
One set of SQUIDDLE plushies! {Colors are randomized for each order, and each equipped with the necessary magnets to be tangle buddies!}
A collection of marine biology books, primarily focusing on cephalopods
One Crystal Ball {We're not sure what its purpose is now, given GL'BGOLYB'S passing. Perhaps it still possesses a connection to HORRORTERRORS far beyond our alternate reality...God I hope not. Still, it should hopefully be free from dialup if you're trying to contact the DARK CARNIVAL!}
Unit’s Settings
Sweetheart (Default)
Excited (Default)
Unnerving (Default)
Insensitive
Serious
Angry
Violent (Locked)
Mute (Locked)
An amazing subversion of most of TROLLKIND, Feferi is known as a total SWEETHEART and incredibly friendly with others. Whether they be her internet friends, hypothetical trolls that she would eventually rule over, or even the random cuttlefish that she would try to nurture and coddle, Fef has showcased a desire to be kind and care for others. This allows her to be very approachable and will likely be the type to approach you! She’s incredibly likely to meet new people and start building a massive network of friends and acquaintances even without your influence, especially befriending any other UNITS you may have or will acquire in the future. You’ll quickly find yourself being considered one of Feferi’s pals, even one of her B-EST FRONDS!! in no time! Perhaps take her out to the local aquarium to spend the day with her, she'll love seeing all the familiar fish and you can have a great time together! Win-win scenario! She also has a habit of putting all the pressures, all of it, onto herself, a holdover from her time as the HEIRESS OF ALTERNIA and the only one able to tend to her LUSUS, preventing her from unleashing the VAST GLUB. While she's reluctant to admit it was a burden, she did find it a relief not to )(ave to worry about keeping )(er voice down anymore! It is likely Fef will be burning both ends of the candle trying to be her sunny, upbeat self to keep others from worrying. Just remind her to take time for herself and that friends are suppose to share not only in one another's joy, but in their sorrow and burdens too. Make sure she knows she's appreciated and work together.
Tying into her above mentioned setting, Feferi is also easily EXCITED, whether its at the prospect of new friends and experiences or something rather minor. Perhaps that’s a side effect to the fact she grew up far removed from the rest of TROLL society, not just in a rich kid way but a “I will get culled by agents from my ancestor if I go out in public glub gkub” sort. As such, Feferi is a bit out of touch when it comes to the typical above ground ways of play, so she will be extremely -EXCIT----------------ED! at the prospect of trying something new. She’ll ooh and ahh over new foods and experiences, whether it be boba tea or mini golf, and she’ll be even more cheerful to try it with you and others! We do caution about her volume at times, the sound of her cheerful blubs and squealing can be rather piercing but she means no harm. If you suffer tinnitus, softly broach it with her to tone it down a little bit as a precaution. Additional WARNING: While Feferi loves to cuddle and give hugs to her friends, she is extremely strong and doesn't know her own strength at times, so be cautious to avoid serious injury and hospital visitations. WHAT PUMPKIN is not responsible for any damages and/or harm that may be unknowingly caused in her joy. And can you really blame sweet, darling Feferi? I thought not.
When you consider what kinda of HORRORTERROR raised Feferi, her UNNERVING side makes a lot of sense. The girl is all giggles and sunshine normally, but she has a helluva unsettling stare with those big old eyes and sharp teeth. Girl loves her spooky, tentacled terrors of the depths and will be -ECSTATIC to gush about the weird and honestly terrifying world of deep sea critters and collect some unusual decor. Expect a lot of curiosity into Lovecraftian lore and mythos, probably some comparisons to her watery parent, and a fascination into some real creepy shit. It also ties into the CLASS as a WITCH that she would be interested in the creepy and spooky of the world! If you happen to have or want to have other UNITS, may we suggest having an ARADIA MEGIDO or ROSE LALONDE around, as their mutual interests into some of life's more macabre interests will lead them all to be fast friends. Perhaps if you are a like minded individual or are curious, you can express your own interest and get her some items related to it. Check out Hot Topic to find that perfect blend of cutesy and creepy, it will have her glubbing away happily and giving you a big old, crushing hug. WARNING: This is not a joke, it hurts to give her a high five let alone getting glomped, as mentioned above. See Blood Hue for a more detailed explanation of this quality.
Surprisingly, Feferi has an INSENSITIVE side to her as well. Don’t get us wrong, she’s still one of the sweetest TROLLS around and cares about everyone. But her place of privilege as the HEIRESS to the TROLL empire means she has trouble relating to others over their personal problems and may not fully understand that some of her suggestions, which seem easy to her, might be difficult for others to achieve. Kinda like that five dollar banana meme. She also has no trouble mocking others, particularly ERIDAN AMPORA and VRISKA SERKET, to the extend that the latter even said That was...Surprisingly nasty of you. I'm impressed! While Feferi's comment was revealed to be a joke, it still shows that she has the potential to mask some meaness behind her gentle words and earnest efforts. Feferi has even made some...poorly chosen comments on the author’s part in regards to JADE HARLEY’S naivety.
Oh, you don't say?
Yes, Emma. I can admit to my issues of using the r-word. People can mature and make apologies for the bad sense of humor and incorrect words they use over a decade ago.
Shocker.
Quiet from the peanut gallery...Additionally, Feferi may not understand why her original idea of restructuring the word culling may not have been much of a good idea, basically treating the underprivileged and infirmed as pets to be cooed at and doted on without regards to their personhood. Great to no longer have people put to death for the most mild of mutations or quirks, but less so when TROLLS in a different timeline have to actively run away or hide their disibilites to avoid being culled. In order to help her improve from this negative aspect, try having a talk with her and encouraging her to visualize her view from another’s perspective. Hopefully it can aid her in improving the way she treats others and giving her limited viewpoint more insight. But that doesn't mean you have to hold her hand the whole way thought, make sure she educates herself on these topics with her own research, whether its books or documentaries people have worked on. It will be a real eye opener for this wide-eyed idealist, but hopefully reality can help groung her without her losing her whimsy.
Despite Feferi's playfulness and idealization of her goals, she can also be quite SERIOUS when it comes to diplomacy. In these moments, she will completely drop the use of her fish puns and other typing quirks in order for others to better understand her and let them know that she means business. {Also because I find her quirk a bitch to use during writing and there's only so many fish puns I can take when its not MEENAH PEIXES.} For all Fef loves to play around, she is still the HEIRESS OF ALTERNIA and was well aware of the dangers such a position held, and all the responsibilities it forced upon her. She disliked having to orphan TROLLS by using their LUSII'S corpses to keep her own fed, she rationalized it as for the good of the masses as otherwise her LUSUS would let out the VAST GLUB, obliterating the entire TROLL species. It was Feferi's burden to deal with and she never treated it lightly, and her own goals for restructuring the HEMOSPECTRUM would lead to many years of political challenges too. All this in mind, Fef is most likely to become SERIOUS whenever she acts as a diplomat or a mediator amongst others, dealing with heavy topics such as survival or disastrous relationships.
Now, this setting is very rare but Feferi can get ANGRY when she finally gets fed up. Which is saying a lot given what a SWEETHEART she is, but everyone has their limit even the kindhearted pacifists. Typically this fury bubbles up when she experiences continued frustrations, particularly when it comes to ERIDAN AMPORA, and has been known to be loud in ways KARKAT VANTAS would be proud. Expect a lot of annoyed looks, pouting, and snapping at the source of her irritation when she gets more than a little miffed. Granted, everyone can become angry and it’s natural, but it can be jarring to see Feferi act like this. Feferi isn’t quick to anger nor does it last long usually, but try to play the peacekeeper at times since she still has a HIGHBLOOD’S strength, although she would be reluctant to use it unless under the most extreme circumstances. And this can all tie into the following Setting, if you aren't careful enough...
While Feferi is normally an adorable lass full of excitement and enough saccharine sweetness to cause toothaches, girl can become extremely VIOLENT when push comes to shove. And given her status as both a Fuchsia (see Blood Hue for more details) and WITCH OF LIFE (Classpect), we insist that you approach with caution if she enters this concerning state of violence. Girl’s honestly a tank when she enters attack mode and as the old saying goes: Oh curst Effects of necessary Law! How ill my Fear they by my Mercy scan, Beware the Fury of a Patient Man. - Barack Obama.
He didn’t say that.
Hush you, incorrect quotes are my jam. Anyways, this mode is typically LOCKED for good reason and Fef doesn’t typically resort to violence to solve a problem. But one of the best ways to get her to drop her pacifism is by harming one of her friends or if she’s ever confronted by a fellow FUCHSIA TROLL/HEIRESS. The former is a biological reaction that prompts the confronting fishy princesses to initiate a vicious, no holds barred battle of dominance, although it’s not likely to happen if two Feferi’s end up in the same vicinity. We don’t think anyway…In the unlikely case that she chooses violence, pray you’re not the source of her rage and book it out of the immediate area. WARNING: Even if Feferi doesn't want to cause harm, GL'BGOLYB didn't raise no bitch, so she won't hold back at all. As such, anyone who could get caught in the crosshairs better run FAST. And if you're the source of her ire, better prostrate yourself before her and beg for her mercy, though if you're unfortunate enough to work her into such a mood, you probably deserve it. Still, immediately contact our rapid response team at XXX-XXX-1111 to deal with the situation if she cannot be quelled with peaceful means. It's also possible that certain UNITS can intercede, such as KARKAT VANTAS, KANAYA MARYAM, or even a VRISKA SERKET as her telepathic abilities could come in handy. WHAT PUMPKIN is not responsible for any damages, injuries, and general shenanigans that may occur in regards to any of our productes.
Now MUTE is an interesting and noticeable setting for our girl. Normally she’s like your typical chatty manic mermaid dream girl, but random bursts of silence and eerily blank smiles can occur. From interactions with our ectobiological team and Luis tentatively poking a toe into the world of psychology, the conclusion is that this is a coping mechanism due to the struggles and trauma Fef has faced during SGRUB, meteor events, and the mixing of two different timelines worth of conflict melding together. Possibly influenced by her brief time as FEFETASPRITE as well, given that being’s inability to do more than emote and smile. The best course of action when Feferi’s stuck in this mode is typically to calmly approach and let her know that you’re here for her, but don’t push her boundaries or personal space. Leaving open lines of communication open assures folks that, if they need alone time to process, they have the support when they’re working through their funk. Bring up the possibility of therapy, cannot stress this enough folks, to help her find additional coping mechanisms and a safe space to discuss things with a professional. Do expect some pushback since TROLLS have cultural hang ups about vulnerability and the pale quad implications involved, but don’t hesitate to be there for her. Enlisting help from other UNITS that are on friendly terms with Feferi can also help too, NEPETA LEIJON in particular being extra supportive due to a shared existence as FEFETASPRITE.
Blood Hue
In this helpful section, we’re going to outline a bit about the effect that Blood Hue has on TROLL physiology, abilities, and even their lifespans. While Fef’s a charming lass with a lack of interest in violence, we do caution you to pay attention to our WARNING: labels and not skim this segment.
As one of the two castes of TROLLS that are sea dwellers, Fuchsias are capable of easily adjusting between life on land as well as in the sea, similar to an amphibian. They also possess some fishy attributes, particularly with ear fins in place of typical ears and visible gills along the neck. The ear fins are sensory appendages, used to notice the changes of temperature, sound, or minute changes in water movements around them, giving them the edge on predators or other dangers. The gills of most likely relate to a unique Collapsing And Expanding Bladder Based Aquatic Vascular System that allows a sea dweller to breath underwater. There is a secondary quality to these organs that faciliate the transition from deriving oxygen from the air as opposed to water, although she may need a minute or two to fully adjust from moving to sea to land or vice versa. Both ear fins and gills can be sensitive to change in the atmosphere around them, flicking about at the most minor of adjustements, and are prone to drying out. As such, it’s highly recommended to provide some moisturizing products to prevent any chafing and irritability.
Tying into these above needs, sea dwellers of course need access to frequent bathing in a non-chlorinated pool or tub if the ocean is not within access. You may need to discuss with Fef if she’d prefer fresh or salt water, but given she lived under the sea, I’m gonna go out on a limb to say sodium chloride will be the norm. Chlorine might be fine for us humans to splash around in, but it can cause extremely negative health effects for those whose respiratory system lets them get oxygen from water. While Feferi is made of strong stuff, that doesn’t mean she can easily deal with the chemicals in the water and can have worse problems than hair turning green or drying funny. WARNING: Should Feferi or any other sea dweller UNIT experience any chlorine poisoning, please contact us via Dr. Luis Carroll at XXX-XXX-0413 so he can walk you through triggering a natural detox while awaiting for a rapid response team including a LIFE UNIT if you do not have one within your house at the time.
When discussing terms of the TROLL physicality and strength, we’re not kidding when we say that Fuchsias are at the top of the HEMOSPECTRUM hierarchy for reasons beyond a pretty pink shade of blood. The higher up you go, the greater in strength and durability a TROLL is. Add into the fact that sea dwelling TROLLS are able to withstand immense amount of pressure living underwater, it’s no surprise that this would translate to Feferi being incredibly strong on land, able to pull off feats that would boggle the mind. These include being able to swim through the vast expanse of ocean while carrying a massive corpse of a LUSII and easily jumping through her first gate in SGRUB. It’s no surprise to see Feferi easily handling cumbersome burdens that would make even the most swole bodybuilders round red in the face and sweating like a sinner in mass. Of course we’re going to have to tack on a little WARNING: here, as Feferi might not always be aware of her strength and how squishy humans and even some TROLLS can be around her. As such, a high five can sting for hours, a friendly elbow nudge might bruise, and a hug can become life threatening if she becomes too EXCITED and clingy, cutting off oxygen. Explaining to her that you love her enthusiasm but also love staying out of casts can help encourage her to avoid any debilitating injuries, although she might be able to heal them without any hospital visits necessary. Just check out Classpect for more details.
Now Fuchsias are the cream of the crop of the ROYGBIV hierarchy of TROLLS, rarer than even JADE BLOODS as there were only ever two at a time on ALTERNIA. This is due to the intense biological instinct to ruthlessly murder another of their shade, a genetic flaw that was introduced and cultivated by a jackass puppet in a white suit. WARNING: Combine this with her extreme strength, this could be a deadly combination that could result in a lot of physical damage and violence. While we, yeah no it was Luis I’m not gonna argue, especially with that glare from Emma. While Luis was able to fiddle around and tune it down, there’s still a bit of a kill on sight mentality going on with the pink ladies, so don't be ashamed to drop everything and book it with other friends, family, and/or UNITS. Make sure to contact our rapid response team at XXX-XXX-1111 when you can. Feferi’s peacekeeping ways and the fact we only have one UNIT line of this color means we don’t have to deal with extreme violence. But it’s something you’re going to have to keep in mind, just like us, when the inevitable happens and future UNITS with the Royal color pop up. As always, WHAT PUMPKIN is not responsible for any damages or injuries that may occur with the UNITS under your care.
Like I said, Fuchsias are pretty broken when it comes to perks and benefits generically, and they’re reaping it when it comes to lifespan. They’re basically like lobsters, none shown in the WEBCOMING have died by physically aging, only being killed. Still, the natural lifespan of a Fuchsia is beyond our feasible theorizations, well outlasting every other class of TROLL, even the other sea dwelling class who can reach their ten thousands with the right diet and exercise. Maybe not to reach the heat death of the universe, but they can most likely live well into their millions without wasting away. Still, this could lead to the saddening side effect of Feferi vastly outliving you and being left on her lonesome. If it were not for a rather unique ability we will touch upon in the Classpect section just below!
Classpect
Alright folks, this is the final time that a certain combat boot wearing, AI befriending, cat loving transcriber will be taking the helm for this section. For now. So, for those of you either familiar with this segment or not, give a warm welcome to Emma and make sure to pay attention. I’m going back for a refill on my sparkling apple juice and celebratory cake.
Well, you heard it from the big gourd of WHAT PUMPKIN themselves, this is the final Classpect portion of the ALTERNIA TROLL MANUALS series. It’s been such a treat to share this section with all of you and it feels a little bittersweet at the same time. What a journey it’s been! But enough of the pomp and circumstances, let’s get down into the fun theories and brainstorming!
When one thinks of the classical witch of folklore, you expect a wide brimmed hat-wearing magically inclined individual, capable of bending, if not breaking, the very rules of the world. For HOMESTUCK, our Witches fit this archetype fairly well! Well minus the hat, but they do get lovely sparkly shoes! You see, a Witch with a capital W is capable of “manipulation of aspect” or “manipulation through aspect,” as well as being able to increase or decrease the amount of said aspect at whim! This often leads to them to completely chuck the rulebook out the window, freely bending reality to their whims with their aspect and change the very world around them! The aspect of Life is fairly self explanatory, tying into the concept of healing, germination, and power itself. Think of a metaphorical spring, with the creation of new organisms and rebirth to contrast against the doom and gloom of…well, Doom! So long as it lives, breaths, and has the potential to die, Life touches all.
And with all this in mind, it makes Feferi an extremely fascinating and powerful combination as the Witch of Life! The ability to manipulate the very lifeblood of all around her, she could have the potential to be the most powerful healing class, even above a MAID or SYLPH, provided the latter wasn’t also a LIFE bound individual. While she isn’t a GODTIER at this point in time, that doesn’t mean you should discount her! While it is the presence of DREAMSELVES that allowed SOLLUX CAPTOR to be brought back to life rather than revitalizing his corpse, it was still Feferi who proved to the TROLLS that this was a feasible action to chase away the reaper. Not only that, it was Feferi’s brokering a deal with the HORRORTERRORS that allowed all deceased and doomed version of both TROLLS and HUMANS to enter the dream bubbles, providing an escape from death’s clutches yet again! She is also capable of producing oxygen rich bubbles underwater to allow those without gills to see the wonders of the world beneath the waves. We can also see the potential Feferi possesses in the WEBCOMIC, in which a deceased fully GODTIER version of Feferi healed nearly deceased WAYWARD VAGABOND back to full health.
If Feferi were truly able to access her Life manipulating powers fully, she would most likely be capable of granting a powerful, healing kiss similar to her ANCESTOR. Kinda like how the princess's True Love’s Kiss is what heals their doomed lover from their fate or a reversal of Sleeping Beauty’s life reviving kiss, Feferi could restore an individual’s health and even extend their lifespan. It is an extremely powerful ability that was another tool that kept HIC in power for sweeps. With the Witch class, it can become even more powerful for Feferi and help extend the lifespan of another beyond the physical limit. A simple peck can heal cuts and bruises, a fierce smooch can bring you back from the chilly fingers of death, and a full on tongue in the mouth makeout session is basically getting deepthroated by the Fountain of Youth. In fact, this very ability could allow Feferi to keep all her precious friends around for her incredibly long lifespan, if they are not the lucky few TROLLS who are fully GODTIER. A great way to get around such pesky things like “natural lifespans”. Of course, it’s probably going to cause issues in the long run, legally speaking, so you may need to pull a Cullen and move around before anyone gets suspicious, fake deaths and leave everything to a distant relative who hates a remarkable similarity to you, or a variety of other identity fraud cases that I can’t legally recommend…
Granted, WHAT PUMPKIN does not have the resources to cause an ascension into GODTIER for individuals. Yet, I might add. Still, even if we are able to achieve this, that doesn’t mean Feferi should kill herself or submit to being killed to gain that power. We do not want to encourage suicidal ideation in any way, shape, or form! But, when we learn and develop more ideas, we will be sure to give an update.
And, there you have it, it’s all done. Oh, but don’t think this is the last time you’ll have heard from me, readers! We’ve got lots of irons in the fire on future projects and I will be continuing to aid Hussie in all transcribing efforts!
It pays to have job security here, being the only one able to handle the whacky hijinks of the job. We are entrenched in this bitch of a foxhole, up to our sweet shades in shenanigans and chaos yet still we soldier through. And seriously, WHAT PUMPKIN without its faithful transcriber? The building would descend into chaos.
I second that part. At ease, Ems. For all the shin kicking and Cahoots with semi-rouge AI’s going on, you’re still a valuable member of this WHAT PUMPKIN family of weirdos and gremlins. We’ve got big plans ahead, and you can’t quit even if you wanted to! Remember, you’re here forever!
Oh…Joy.
That’s more like it! Now, onwards for more shenanigans and callbacks!
Potential Jobs
Now, WHAT PUMPKIN does not give you permission to force someone into a position they may not want, but jobs are a necessity in this capitalist hellscape we call life. So even when living together with people, everyone should be contributing in some way whether it’s monetary or helping around the shared living space. Additionally, most folks do want to have an occupation that they can work towards and use to better themselves and their prospects for the future. With all this in mind, and considering that Fef’s actually quite the busybody, we’ve managed to compile a little list of positions that she might be interested in! This is not the end all be all folks, there’s a lot that our Feferi wandering the office has expressed an interest in that didn’t make the top three cut, but these are goodies to look into!
Marine Biologist
Now there’s many benefits to this job, especially when it allows Feferi to contribute her knowledge and personal experience interacting with the creatures of the deep. She has some experience with the aquatic fauna of ALTERNIA, particularly those of the cephalopod variety and literal hippocampi. Last one isn’t gonna be useful on earth {Or is it? Where are the seahorses?!} Feferi is also allowed free reign to swim around with the fish and mammals that call the ocean home, as she is free of the typical safety gear and pesky equipment that us land dwelling folks require for survival down below. Add in her impressive physical strength and ability to brave the darkest depths, Feferi would be a fantastic field investigator for even the hardest to reach creatures. It would also allow her the chance to find an audience for her boatload of fish puns and facts about ocean organisms, so this would be a great field of research and study for her with like minded folks! Provided of course you can pay the hefty tuition and the years of study and internships this career requires. In the meantime, she can possibly secure employment with a local aquarium to get experience that would boost the old resume, guiding tours of bright eyed children through the many exhibits or even acting as some of the diving crew as part of maintenance of the tanks and observing the tanks’ residents.
Professional Singer
Any Disney princess worth their salt is known for two things: an inexplicable ability to relate to/connect with at least one animal companion and an enchanting singing voice. As ALTERNIA’S resident HEIRESS, Feferi ticks both the boxes and with her particularly bubbly personality, we’re confident she could make it big singing for the masses. Whether it be releasing a hot new single or creating her own V-tuber like channel to perform covers to popular songs, she could very well be eligible for winning a Grammy some day! It’s not an effortless career, even with talent to back it up and can require more equipment than the basics Fef comes with, but with the right networking, marketing, and work put into it, Feferi’s going to shine.
Social Worker
Now here me out, this may sound a little out there. But given Fef’s determination back on ALTERNIA to change the way of life for the less fortunate, it’s not surprising that she could become a very successful social worker. Whether it's working with local women’s aid organizations or even the juvenile courts helping to improve others’ lives, she’s hard at work to make a difference. It might take a while to earn credentials and put in long hours to do so, but knowing she can channel all her earlier dreams of equality and make it a reality is pure satisfaction. Change can be difficult to achieve, but with the right work put in, she can achieve it.
Unlocking Your Unit
Thankfully Feferi is pretty mellow so we doubt there will be any damages to you or your surroundings trying to get her out of the box. Still, we recommend approaching things in a calm manner and have come up with some possible ways to get her out besides a typical polite query. Disclaimer: WHAT PUMPKIN is not responsible for any mentioned damages that Could occur.
Option One
Offer to do some silly roleplay! Feferi seems to have a fondness of playing dress up and enjoying a good game of make believe. Whether its equestrian girl hijinks, breaking out some plush stuffed animals to do a tea party, or perhaps indulging in something more sinisterly spooky, Fef’s a playful gal who would love to goof around. Even just breaking out some boardgames will get her all cheerful and eager to hang out. This could be a way to jumpstart your friendship, especially if you can rope additional UNITS in, should you have any within your home.
Option Two
Express your passion in trying to better your community, whether it be socially or environmentally, and suggest starting a passion project together. Feferi has long wanted to help aid the underprivileged and ailing members of her society and would be more than happy to discuss things with you! Her aim was more focused on prompting mass change to the structure of the ALTERNIAN EMPIRE, but that doesn’t mean she can start off at a small scale here with you! Perhaps volunteering at a food kitchen, or with a local environmental group such as setting up a community garden. It can help Feferi become familiar with the area and make new friends within the town she will now call home, all while helping others and making a difference.
Option Three
Suggest that you and Feferi could go check out the beach together. She’s been craving a taste for home under the waves and will be tickled pink to walk along the sandy shores once more before diving below! Make sure to pack up a whole beach bag for a fun filled day, since Feferi will likely take up every moment to soak up the salty seas she’s missed for so long. This one is less likely to realistically occur unless you’re in a coastal environment, hence why we’re tacking this on at the end. But even if it's not something you can do right away upon delivery, make plans to check out the seaside with your new glubbing friend. It’s not just ailing Victorian folks throwing themselves upon chaise lounges that believe a holiday to the coast can cure whatever ails you, for this trip will surely help her cope with homesickness.
Relationships with Other Units
Now, due to the fact that Feferi got sidelined for a majority of this ultimate scrimmage that is the HOMESTUCK NARRATIVE, Emma and I had to really put our thinking caps on for her section here.
Which is a massive shame given not only her potential, but that of the entire HIVEBENT storyline…
Hey quit it with that, the TROLL race was doomed anyways, I outlined a good chunk of stuff for the fans and focused more on the buildup to the KIDS timeline. And with a whole cast of 12 TROLLS to work with, some of them got the short end of the stick in terms of development. Anyways, canon interactions for Fef are a little light and mostly focus in on one or two of the heavy hitters, so with this insanely large cast of characters, I hope you’re all ready for a heck of a lot of theorizing and brainstorming! And as is the norm with doomed TROLLS, Feferi retains her memories of both the GAMEOVER timeline and that of the RETCON one, which only adds to the confusion of this section. Especially when you throw FEFETASPRITE into it…But we will boldly go where few authors dare to dream and give you the lowdown on potential friendships and more with Feferi’s fellow UNITS!
Humans
John Egbert
Feferi’s canonical interactions are extremely limited with John, as the only time they interacted was during the GAMEOVER timeline in their ghostly treasure hunt. She was also not on speaking terms with anyone, choosing to remain silent outside of her smiles. Still, we think that Feferi will be delighted to meet John in better circumstances, as she loves to make new friends! There shall be fond reminiscing about their dream bubble adventures, even if it was short. She will likely ask him a multitude of questions, wanting to hang out and bond and he’ll be more than happy to shoot the breeze. It’ll likely be a positive relationship, although John might be a bit unnerved by Feferi’s love for HORRORTERRORS but it should be smooth sailing for these two as they goof off and enjoy normalcy!
Rose Lalonde
Feferi never really had the chance to chat with Rose, which is a damn shame since we think these two would be fintastic together. Their mutual interest in the ZOOLOGICALLY DUBIOUS and connection to the HORRORTERRORS would give them a lot to discuss and bond over, Rose no doubt being fascinated with Feferi’s origins being raised by GL’BGOLYB. You’ll no doubt catch these two giggling away over creepy stuff and checking out supposedly haunted locations around town. As long as they aren’t playing around with dark forces beyond comprehension, you can largely leave these two to their own devices.
Dave Strider
There were never any canonical interactions between Feferi and Dave, not even with FEFETASPRITE, so we’re questing in the unknown together. Still, Feferi’s friendly personality means she’ll reach out to make friends with this cool customer and Dave’s had plenty of experience with both trolls and flighty broads with an interest in creepy stuff. She might be annoyed with Dave’s tendency to bottle things up and not be emotionally available, due to her past experiences with other reserved, shade wearing hipsters, but we think they can cohabitate fairly well. Feferi will likely be the first to reach out to Dave and try to befriend him and, some awkward ramblings aside, Dave should be chill to hang!
Jade Harley
Unlike the other kids, Feferi actually had some friendly chats with Jade. Jade was reluctant to interact with another TROLL, but Feferi was persistent and friendly to keep Jade engaged. Unfortunately, a very bad slur was used in Fef’s part due to a genuine cultural question, I admit my fault to this, and Feferi’s iconic I’m dead line did not help Jade’s unease. Still, Feferi has a positive opinion on Jade and will want to patch this up now that she’s got the chance. Once they’re in the same household, these two will quickly fall into friendship as they have similar cheerful personalities and share a variety of interests, such as a love for caring to animals, adoration for plush toys, and cephalopods {To vary degrees of creepiness even if the SQUIDDLES actually are just the HORRORTERRORS trying to entwin their tentacles horrors into pop culture under the guise of adorable tangle buddies.} You don’t need me to tell you these gals will be the best of pals soon enough!
Jane Crocker
Like most of the ALPHA KIDS, Feferi has had some interactions with a version of Jane, although the latter didn’t. {Ah parallel timelines, so confusing and needlessly complicated.} As FEFETASPRITE, Fef felt close enough to Jane to share about having TO DEAL WITH GARBAGE FROM JERKOFF BOYS! She also attended Jane’s sixteenth birthday party and attempted to cheer the birthday gal up before Jane blew up and absconded. Feferi will most likely be excited to see Jane once more, even if she may be sad to learn this Jane is not the same one she knew. Still, we think this will be a great friendship for this pair of former HEIRESSES! Feferi is a very emotional person who can sympathize with Jane’s personal experiences, particularly with pressures of inheritance and boy problems, giving them a chance to talk and bond. She’ll be more than happy to play Watson to Jane’s Sherlock Holmes, the pair delving into some local mysteries or just roleplaying as some hard boiled detectives.
Jake English
While Feferi, or FEFERASPRITE really, didn’t have any canonical interactions with Jake, she definitely knew him. Girls talk and, if JANE CROCKER’S outburst means anything, Fef got the whole scoop on the mystery that is Jake English. Or at least the relationship blowup. Still, it doesn’t seem that FEFETASPRITE had any ill will towards Jake, most likely being more reserved/reluctant to deal with him at worst. But given the opportunity to start afresh with Jake, Feferi would be happy to make a new friend. They both are easily excitable at experiencing adventures, no matter how mundane, so expect them to wander around town checking all the local spots, shops, and experiences.
Roxy Lalonde
In the ALPHA universe’s GAMEOVER timeline, Feferi was revived as FEFETASPRITE and became Roxy’s guide on ROLAN. The two of them were implied to be very close, the only positive sprite-player friendships of that session. They would spend a great deal of time chatting about shipping and having fun until FEFERASPRITE’s unfortunate self termination due to stress. Luckily, now that Feferi’s back in action, she gets the chance to see Roxy again and it will be a heartfelt reunion, as Roxy is also from the GAMEOVER timeline. The two will fall right back into their friendship, being bubbly and giddy pals once more! Free from the stress of SBURB, Fef and Rox will fill their days with roleplay shenanigans, going on adventures around town, and just enjoying their friendship. It’s possible you can join them on some of these outings, but remember to give them the space they need, they have a lot to catch up on.
Dirk Strider
We can only assume that Feferi, as FEFETASPRITE, met Dirk at some time or another. She has definitely heard of him from ROXY LALONDE, no doubt about the relationship woes. It may affect the way she views him at times, but she tries to give others the benefit of the doubt and she will definitely extend a friendly fun of friendship to him. Hell humor him for sure, maybe have some fondness for her due to her similarities with ROXY LALONDE. The mutual love of horses, whether on land or in the sea, will definitely be a way to bridge the gap and the two will definitely enjoy a MLP: Friendship is Magic marathon. Expect a lot of gushing from Fef, stoic nods from Dirk, and a side helping of arguments on best pony {Hint: It’s Applejack no matter what these two say.} but it will no doubt open the door to new levels of the friend echeladder!
Trolls
Karkat Vantas
While Feferi was on the back burner a lot especially on the meteor, we can clearly see a positive relationship between her and Karkat! She has expressed concern about what he saw in the dream bubbles and tried to calm him about the HORRORTERRORS after seeing how nervous and pale he was upon waking. She comforted him and assured him that the dream bubbles were perfectly safe, even as he cautioned against dreaming once her dream self was killed. The mutual concern for each other lets them gel well when it comes to leadership too, as they both place a great deal of emphasis on keeping their other friends safe. She might be a bit naive but Karkat can help keep her from floating too high into the clouds while she can keep him from flipping off the handle with both middle fingers extended. Its possible that Feferi might try to coddle Karkat, despite knowing that he's perfectly capable of handling himself, due to his blood color but he will be swift to set her straight. She isn't afraid to call him out on him being so ornery and crabby either, even commenting GLUB TO T)(AT ATTITUD-E!!!!!! >38O when he gave a "M-E)(" resonse. See, even Feferi can make Karkat be a littly goofy and loosen that turtleneck! Or that Karkat is comfortable enough to mimic the quirks of his friends, something he's only shown on rare occassions.There might be a little awkwardness to start before Feferi brushes aside his apologies for being unable to prevent her death as she tugs him into a big old hug. Pretty soon, they will be gossiping about romance, both fictional and real, and probably be gross crying over cheesy romcoms together, and Feferi might even drag Karkat around town to help loosen him up. Just leave them to it, these two will be right as rain in no time.
Aradia Megido
As both of these spooky gals were on the BLUE TEAM together, it’s likely they already know how to work together and thus be able to cohabitate well. Maybe they weren’t overly close as Aradia was rocking the i am 0k emotionless robot bs for much of their time in SGRUB and the meteor while Feferi was mostly chilling with SOLLUX CAPTOR. However, in both the GAMEOVER and RETCON timeline, these two were shown to be interacting together thus suggesting they were able to catch back up following Fef's passing. Whether it was during a quest through the dream bubbles for a legendary weapon or just reuniting with other ghostly friends, Feferi and Aradia are shown to be on good terms. And now that Aradia and Feferi are both alive, these two will quickly become thick as thieves, especially with how their personal interests overlap. It’s like two perky goths hanging out at the local Hot Topic, with Fef being a bit more on the pastel goth side. Expect a lot of creepy giggling of excitement and cheer, possibly even getting up into some spooky ghost shenanigans. Maybe break out some sage if these two accidentally bring some specters home, but its all in good fun.
Tavros Nitram
Honestly, even if there are no interactions in the WEBCOMIC beyond a ghostly quest with no chitchat, we have every belief that these two are amazing friends! Given their mutual friendly natures, pacifist is inclinations, and passion for animals, it’s a wonder Feferi and Tavros haven’t made matching friendship bracelets already. We doubt there was any animosity towards them back when the RED and BLUE TEAMS were competing against each other, and its likely they maye have interacted with each other prior to SGRUB to discuss their mutual love of animals. The GAMEOVER timeline saw the pair of them questing with some other ghosts and JOHN EGBERT, no doubt enjoying the experience together. And Feferi was quick to jump ship when Tavros did too, even though she ended up leaving with SOLLUX CAPTOR and NEPETEA LEIJON. These two will have a blast catching up again, having easy conversations and doing some goofy LARPing together. They’re no doubt going to work in cahoots to tend to all the local stray animal population and smuggle them into your house, so you may need to set down some firm rules with them but it’s a small price to pay for such a positive friendship.
Sollux Captor
Alrighty readers, I’m sure you’ve all been gleefully waiting for this section regarding the Captor-Peixes bond! And WHAT PUMPKIN shan’t disappoint! The start of SGRUB started these two off with a big bang, with Sollux getting Feferi to safety within the game that resulted in his passing. Feferi was extremely upset at his passing and quickly leaped through the first gate to arrive in his land. Once there, she delivered a reviving kiss that allowed Sollux’s Derse dreamself to awaken and give him a second chance. From there, it was hearts down for the two of them, the pair spending a great deal of time together during SGRUB nd forming a matespritship on the meteor. Feferi also encouraged Sollux to glub about feelings, suggesting some pale undertones to their relationship where she was comforting him over ARADIA MEGIDO’S soulbot’s explosion, and Sollux even adopted some of Fef’s fishy puns, showing how at ease he was with her to be silly. She could acknowledge that he was t)(e grouch)(iest dude sometimes but still found him cute despite his flaws. Upon Sollux being seemingly killed by ERIDAN AMPORA, Feferi immediately tried to avenge him only to be killed for reals. Still, Sollux implies they were able to talk it out in a dream bubble and that they were both okay with one another. Now with the diverging timelines, things get a little complicated. In the GAMEOVER universe, FEFETASPRITE was able to reunite with ERISOLSPRITE, but given how Sollux had been merged with ERIDAN AMPORA, Feferi’s ex-moirail and murderer {Ooooh boy, are you all in for a doozy soon} things quickly got stressed and dear, sweet FEFETASPRITE unfortunately FEFETASPLODED. From there, she was able to meet up with Sollux once more in the dream bubbles, where he was a fully alive, fully blind guy, and started questing together. Eventually Sollux after becoming fed up with the treasure hunt and Feferi joined him, showing that the two were more interested in being together rather than the nonsense VRISKA SERKET was dragging them into. In the RETCON timeline, Sollux and Feferi were reunited once more, showing their friendship was continued at the very least. All this considered, this just shows how comfortable Feferi and Sollux are with each other, and how easily things will be with them living under one roof. Once these two reunite in your home, they’ll easily fall into a comfortable familiarity and hanging out. When it comes to any possibility of them resuming their red romance...Hey man, don't ask me about this crap, teenage relationships are fraught by stressors and are subject to change. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. For now, I think they both agree that just getting this chance to chill and be together is enough.
Nepeta Leijon
There’s a lot of theorizing going on here, but WHAT PUMPKIN is happy to say that the friendship between these two plucky, excitable lasses is positive! With their similar personalities, these two vibe very well with each other and are happy to hang out! Their SGRUB session had them on the BLUE TEAM, although their tended to be around their personal quadrant mates, but it meant they were in regular contact and no doubt got along famously! Within the GAMEOVER timeline, these two were even closer than before! Literally! Due to a little clownery, their bodies were fused to become FEFETASPRITE and their personalities meshed extremely well into one stable being! As a result, these two stuck together in the afterlife from there on, goofing off and playing dress up on a treasure hunt for a legendary weapon. They even left together, along with SOLLUX CAPTOR, after too many shenanigans and frustration from their leader. All this in mind, when these two reunite, it will be extremely wholesome and full of excited giggles, hugs, and leading to an extremely strong friendship! They’ll fill their time catching up, roleplaying together, and exploring their new environment together.
Kanaya Maryam
For a change of pace, we know for a fact that Feferi and Kanaya are quite close! Even before the events of SGRUB, the pair have been known to chitchat with each other. Feferi even reached out to Kanaya, excited then serious while expressing they s)(ould be comparing notes regarding the game. Both girls were well aware of the upcoming devastation SGRUB would unleash on their species and were probably relieved to be able to share these worries and feelings to someone. Feferi especially trusted Kanaya a lot with her personal worries and burdens, comfortable to talk about her frustrations with ERIDAN AMPORA and the mixed sorrow and relief she felt at the thought of her LUSII’S upcoming passing. She also encouraged Kanaya to confess to her secret flush crush and to speak with her own LUSUS w)(ile you )(ave t)(e c)(ance! letting Kanaya have her own closure. We can only assume that the pair remained close during SGRUB and on the meteor, with Feferi even inviting Kanaya to join in the horn pile for a feelings game, although Kanaya politely refused due to the cramped quarters. The pair will no doubt be delighted to see each other again and spend time together once both UNITS are in your household. Feferi will no doubt be conscripted into being Kanaya’s model and gossip buddy, the two making up for lost time due to Feferi’s untimely passing.
Terezi Pyrope
We’re going out on many tree limbs here folks, but we’re positive that Feferi holds Terezi in high regards! Both TROLLS wanted to make changes within the ALTERNIAN HEMOSPECTRUM for the betterment of their species and were probably cooking up plans on how to put Feferi on the throne prior to SGRUB. While on opposing teams during the game, we’re sure that they maintained contact and worked together during the final battle. On the meteor, Feferi insisted that they needed to defeat BEC NOIR, expressing they )(ide )(ere forever and giving Terezi the necessary advice to reach out to the BETA KIDS to find a way to defeat the unkillable boss. While Terezi found it unlikely, she nevertheless took Fef for her word, showing the trust she had towards her and the rest was history. During the GAMEOVER timeline, Terezi expressed a desire to BR1NG [NEPETA LEIJON and FEFERI PEIXES] B4CK! as Feferi was cruelly murdered and felt she deserved the chance to be revived. While this didn’t end up happening, the pair do get the chance to reunite now as UNITS and they will be a welcome addition to your household! There might be a few tense moments as while both love stuffed animals, Feferi won’t be too pleased to see Terezi executing her cute little Squishmellows or SQUIDDLE stuffed toys. Still, these two will fall right into playful roleplaying and exciting adventures.
Vriska Serket
Shocker of all shocks, Feferi actually had a positive relationship with the resident spider bitch, even with all the violence in Vriska’s wake. The two likely met one another via a mutual quadrant mate ERIDAN AMPORA and built a tentative friendship from there. Feferi is always friendly and even has nice convos with Vris, possibly due to the fact that both were responsible for feeding their LUSII, requiring the deaths of others in order to placate the monstrous mothers. Feferi is the person who can probably get Vriska’s deal in that regard, Vriska needing to feed TROLLS to her SPIDERMOM to stay alive in much the same way Feferi had to keep GL’BGOLYB from triggering the world ending, species murdering VAST GLUB. However, there can be moments of tenseness too, since Feferi doesn’t believe in needless harm or murder, with the treatment of TAVROS NITRAM, ARADIA MEGIDO, and SOLLUX CAPTOR likely not helping her opinion of Vriska. Still, the pair were able to work together during SGRUB and have some positive interactions on the meteor. Feferi is even capable of teasing Vriska byhow awesome you are, Peixes at the trick, respecting the insult. Within the differing timelines, Feferi even joined up with GAMEOVER Vriska in searching for a weapon capable of defeating LORD ENGLISH, although she eventually left. The RETCON timeline is considerably different, with neither being able to interact at all. Vriska wanted to bring Feferi back due to their friendship, but the limited number of KERENELSPRITES made her reluctant to play a vicious game of Sophie’s Choice with her dead friends, so she decided to figure it out later. Sadly, Feferi wasn’t brought back at the end of the comic, so it's about time these two get the chance to reunite and settle old grievances! Feferi won’t exactly be thrilled with Vriska over her many, MANY antics and murder of a mutual friend, but with time, things can improve for them both. Feferi can hopefully be a positive influence on Vriska, encouraging her to not devolve into toxic cycles of revenge and petty anger and find less violent ways to have fun!
Equius Zahhak
I am so fed up with my past self’s reluctance to either explore different connections between characters or type Feferi’s stupid quirk, would be way easier for me right now otherwise…Still, Emma had her fun thinking of her bestest boy-HE IS! You like this sweaty horse lover and I don’t know why! Ugh, I get it, no need to stamp on my foot, especially since I brought you some baked goods from the party!
Hussie.
Right, right…So, like most of the trolls, we can only assume that Feferi has a positive relationship with Equius since she’s always trying to be a kind person with others. Eq probably makes it awkward because he’s got his HEMOSPECTRUM kink going on and probably would politely ask Fef to step on him if he ever got the gumption. Oh don't give me that Emma, you know its true! She meanwhile, probably isn’t pleased with his mindset and wants to argue that she isNOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!! just because she’s on the top of the social ladder. They worked together on the BLUE TEAM during SGRUB, most likely have a cordial relationship that continued onto the meteor. Timeline wise, the only additional info we can include relates to the GAMEOVER universe, in which both Fef and Eq were revived as FEFETASPRITE and ARQUIUSPRITE respectively. The latter edged his way into a convo FEFETASPRITE was having with ERISOLSPRITE, attempting to make peace with the half that was NEPETA LEIJON and seemingly didn’t focus at all on Feferi. The interaction didn’t end positively, but we doubt that she will hold it against Equius once they meet up. If you’re trying to get these two on better terms, support Feferi’s wish to not be seen as a mere figurehead for the ALTERNIAN EMPIRE and that she’s just a girl like anyone else. Perhaps they can bond over their mutual love for horses, checking out the local petting zoo or joining an equestrian club. It's likely that, due to their immense natural STRENGTH that they will have a mutual respect for each other, possibly even becoming workout buddies together. Imagine it! Training montage music playing and hideously colorful 80’s workout gear and friendly competition. Sure you may need to replace the equipment they could accidentally bust, but these two will be thrilled to find positive ways to deal with repressed anger and make it a friendly activity!
Gamzee Makara
Luckily, this is the last time we have to discuss the limited amount of canonical interactions in the WEBCOMIC, but yet again we must don on our most pensive expressions, puff out metaphorical pipes, and ponder about the relationship between Feferi and the eternal mystery that is Gamzee. She’s always a positive girl with a fondness for silly antics, so she found Gamzee pretty hilarious prior to her death and never had to witness his fall into HIGHBLOOD madness. While on the meteor, she would make frequent use of his horn piles in the computer lab, chilling in it with SOLLUX CAPTOR after a minimum fee. What he was doing with those boonbucks, no one knows. However, in the GAMEOVER timeline, this camaraderie has ended since Feferi has learned of his murderous exploits via her fusion with NEPETA LEIJON into FEFETASPRITE. She noticeably didn’t argue with ERISOLSPRITE’S comment of fuck that guy. As such, it will take time for Feferi to develop a positive friendship with Gam again. It will require therapy on his part and making amends, LOTS OF IT, but with time, Feferi will reach out to him again, slowly building up their old bond.
Eridan Ampora
Oh boy folks, I hope you’re keeping your seatbelt on and all limbs inside the vehicle as we plow straight down the rollercoaster of relationships, cause you’re in for a doozy readers. Initially starting out as moirails, Eridan was someone Feferi deeply cared about, even calling him her goofball moirail in conversation. However, she is also extremely fed up too with his superiority complex over land dwelling trolls and his pursuits for genocide. She tries to believe that he has the potential to be a good person, as for all his talk he hasn’t done anything but by the time of SGRUB, she was already considering him a burden and draining. The fact he wasn’t emotionally available with her was grating too, with Fef emphasizing We are supposed to )(elp eac)( ot)(er wit)( t)(at stuff too yet he always hid things away or spoke to certain perpetually angry, shouty TROLL, much to her annoyance. So it’s no one’s surprise but Eridan’s that Feferi chose to break up with him upon entering SGRUB, as the whole point of keeping him pacified was gone, as was the whole TROLL race. She expressed FEFERI I just can't salmon the strength anemonemoreFEFERI to deal with his pessimism and self-pitying, which only got worse when Eridan chose the worst time to confess his flush feelings. Feferi didn’t spare him her ire at it although she did encourage him to )(ang in t)(ere, -Eridan before blasting straight out of dodge. After that, it only snowballed from there. Feferi never visited him on his planet, due both to the awkwardness of their breakup and the fact his place became a planet wide murderzone full of enraged angels. The strain only continued on the meteor, where his attempts to start up a kismesism with SOLLUX CAPTOR enraged Feferi, who viewed it as an effort to drag her in as the auspistice and therefore meddle with her matespritship with the Gemini troll, calling it T)(e oldest and lamest trick in t)(e book. She further rejected his offer to leave and align with BEC NOIR in order to avoid a death sentence, finding it a terrible idea due to BEC NOIR’S murderous ways. All hope of reconciliation was destroyed when he blasted SOLLUX CAPTOR and Feferi, believing him to be dead, tried to attack Eridan in a fit of rage only to be killed with a blast to, and through, her chest. Now, here’s where things are weird readers, with differing timelines yet retaining the memories of both. GAMEOVER had Feferi become FEFETASPRITE while Eridan became ERISOLSPRITE, resulting in an awkward reintroduction. The two were able to get along for a time, mainly over their mutual dislike of GAMZEE MAKARA, before ERISOLSPRITE attempted to apologize for her death. Poor FEFERASPRITE eventually exploded due to extenuating circumstances, unable to voice either forgiveness or rejection. The RETCON timeline avoided this confusion by neither being revived into KERNALSPRITES. Instead, a ghostly Feferi joined ARADIA MEGIDO and SOLLUX CAPTOR in greeting a similarly deceased Eridan, suggesting the path to reconciliation was open. With all this history in mind, WHAT PUMPKIN is making a tentative stab at how this reunion will go in house. {All we’re gonna mention of ours is a lot of yelling, blubbering, and chaos. We count it a success tho.} It will definitely be tense for a while, each grappling with their own issues and thoughts, but Feferi will probably be the first to extend the olive branch. Provided that Eridan can make genuine efforts to make amends and improvements, we can see a friendship being built back up, brick by brick as they gossip, goof around, and get the chance to be free of their societal pressures. It’s not going to be sunshine and rainbows, but with the right work and actions, they can become friends once more.
{We at WHAT PUMPKIN would like to add that, should future lines of units be developed and make it to the market, we will send an updated version of the Relationships with Other Units sections to further outline their bonds if they are individuals your units have interacted with. If they haven’t, well then you’re screwed and are going to have to watch how that weird shit plays out.}
Troubleshooting
Now, naive goals to make a utopia where the white man, or rather bluebloods, burden means putting folks with minor disabilities under conservatorship without realizing how that strips them of freedom, Feferi is one of the least problematic TROLLS to have around. Still, we racked our brains for any potential issues that could come up with Feferi’s stay with you along with answers to these questions. Most of these are fairly jokey gotta admit but never fear, WHAT PUMPKIN is always available should more pressing concerns pop up!
The amount of time Feferi spends washing her hair is getting ridiculous. I get it’s a lot of locks, but still a pain even when she isn’t showering. There’s loose hair all over the ground, my shopping bill is higher with all the shampoo, and she’s always asking for me to help comb or braid it. Advice?
She might not be Rapunzel, but Feferi’s gor for hair for days. As such, a lot of upkeep is involved in maintaining it, from thorough washing, brushing, and trimming. Weirdly enough, sea dweller hair has a weird quality that allows it to dry really quickly. According to Luis’s notes…fuck it just copy-paste that section of the email, Emma.
Recent examinations and conversations with both resident sea dwellers reveal yet another curious quirk about their biology. Apparently a sea dweller’s scalp possesses a gland similar to that of a uropygial gland, which is most commonly found within human avian species. This gland is responsible for providing an oil-like substance that aids in repelling water from the hair preventing it from becoming soaked. Perhaps this characteristic is due to the natural environment that sea dwellers live in, allowing them to avoid being weighed down when they come on land. This severely cuts down on the time required in drying hair and thus preventing a sea dweller being encumbered in ways that would leave them sitting ducks to land dwelling trolls. The substance also appears to be anti- microbial, helping to prevent potential toxins or illnesses from harming a sea dweller. As such, regular hair maintenance is vital for sea dweller to prevent a build up of this oil and confirm these glands are functioning properly.
There ya have it folks, all the technical mumbo jumbo out of the way. All this in mind, it’s no surprise that Feferi has to do a lot of upkeep on her hair. It may mean a bit more cost to get the right products needed, but health always comes first. It’s likely that Feferi’s questions to help with her hair are actually a bonding attempt, since it means more of a chance to spend time together braiding hair and chatting. If you don’t have a lot of knowledge about this, hit up some YouTube tutorials or maybe take her to a salon for professional upkeep. With the issue of excess of hai around your place, just put in a bit more sweeping or get a Roomba to deal with the extra hair lying around. Feferi will probably be more than willing to clean this up if brought up.
With autumn around, it seems like Feferi’s caught every cold and cough known to man. I’m worried enough with potential exposure to her system with no antibodies, but what can I do to help her?
You’d probably want the whole medical rundown from Luis on this one readers, but I can go ahead and summarize that gills are helluva sensitive. They’re really delicate and handle filtering oxygen and toxins out. Even so, rapid changes in temperature can shock the system and since they’re connected to the lung, any illnesses will get them right up and personal to those organs. Pollen might also be an issue come spring and summer, potentially clogging up her gills in addition to sinuses, so making sure to flush these systems out will help prevent build up. Waterborne illnesses will wreak double the havoc on her poor system, so make sure she gets her boosters and stuff for when the seasons turn. Luis has already given all UNITS the relevant shots against human born diseases and Fef’s dormant LIFE abilities will hopefully help combat anything she picks up. Still, make sure to keep her hydrated and well rested with appropriate doses of antibiotics. She’s a tough cookie but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Just make sure to phone Luis for a more in-depth explanation if her symptoms worsen.
Feferi keeps bringing home stray or wild animals she finds, insisting that they need help. Most try to escape and claw up my stuff with Fef insisting they just need some love. How can I keep her from turning my house into a menagerie?
Ah there’s Fef’s good old bleeding heart. While she means well and doesn’t want any creature to suffer, she tends to ignore the fact that most animals are self-sufficient and just loves to coddle them. To avoid her sneaking in some new critters that will have your home becoming Noah’s arc, have a conversation with her about finding different ways to let her nurturing side out, like volunteering at the local animal shelter or wildlife sanctuary. This should help her mitigate her culling desire although she may still feed the local strays.
To close up on this final section of ALTERNIAN TROLLS, its with great pride that we can say for the last time, at least for now, that any problems that you run into with Feferi that we haven’t outlined, hit up old Luis at XXX-XXX-0413. If your issues are that big or out there, he can hopefully give you a walkthrough on the subject, he’s kinda clever like that.
Don’t you mean incredibly clever?
The dude who was able to literally perfect ectobiological cloning in real life safely without any harm to those being created or to those around them?
The person who is LITERALLY the reason we’re even doing this series, let alone this entire endeavor?
Alright, alright jeez, Luis is totally a genius and smart, I’m the guy who scouted him remember? Just don’t want him getting too big a head.
Luis Carroll, get a big head.
As opposed to the narcissistic eboy who literally wrote themselves into their own webcomic outside of doing recaps.
Touche...
Final Words
You’re happy, we’re happy, we’ve finally reached the end of the ALTERNIAN TROLLS! It's a crazy time for us all and WHAT PUMPKIN has had its share of delays and problematic moments, but we’re off the rails of the hype train with what we’ve completed. FEFERI PEIXES is here and ready for an -EXCITING TIM-E with you as your latest companion. You two will get along swimmingly, going hand and frond into the best that finship has to offer, the world is your oyster and-
How many more ocean puns are you trying to cram into this?
Oh be quiet, let me bask in this for a little longer. Anyways, even if Fef can be grating at times and more than a little giggly over some unfortunate topics, she’s a great friend and will make your life fuller for sure! Expect the WHAT PUMPKIN guarantee!
Now that’s a wrap! Stay tuned for more WHAT PUMPKIN content in the future, and this is far from our last content from our HOMESTUCK UNITS branch.
Especially with what Emma and I have been cooking up.
What was that?
Nothing bad!
Wait, no tell me what-
Anyways, see you everyone! I hope to be able to publish other things in tandem within WHAT PUMPKIN publishing, and look forward to keeping everyone informed with our future advances! I'm currently working on updating previous manuals and having them re-released in the future for those who have already aquired a pretious UNIT, particularly within the BETA and ALPHA KIDS lines. Please keep your eyes open and thank you all for your patience and suppport! Here, you finish typing, I'm going back to the party!
Ah, flighty broads and their suspicious cahoots with frustrating AIs...Well, guess it's only fitting I finish this up for now. WHAT PUMPKIN will be taking a little pause, but don't go anywhere readers, we're hard at work making sure you all are getting all the top tier HOMESTUCK UNITS around. They're the only ones, but you catch my drift. For now though, we're putting a haitus on our manuals and I'm going in for some more of that cake. Goodbye for now and good luck out there everyone!