Chapter Text
Aegon scrolls through his camera roll with his brightness down, and his shoulders hunched in. He has a few options: cock, cock in hand, hole, fingers in hole, and an incredibly captured photo he considers to be his magnum opus: cock in hand, fingers in hole, abs flexing so that it looks, from that angle, he may have some sort of definition. Aemond doesn't deserve that one. Not today, anyway.
Just because Aegon is trying to sext himself out of extreme boredom, doesn’t mean he’s stopped being angry.
This morning, he and Aemond had woken up in bed together. Aegon’s bed. Aemond had the audacity to be mad at Aegon for not waking him up to move in the middle of the night. As if he has any responsibility to make sure Aemond maintains his perceived brotherly distance from him. As if he wants to share his bed with someone who runs hot and steals his pillows.
Aegon gives up on picture hunting. Aemond doesn’t even deserve a nude.
He sends a text instead, just to test the waters.
my dick is hard thinking of u
Aren’t you wedding planning right now?
Aegon looks down at his phone and scowls. His mother drones on in the background, going off on some tangent about reception etiquette and the pros and cons of an open bar.
Jace and Baela’s wedding is in a few months, and they’ve forgone a real wedding planner in favor of enlisting their family to organize the whole event. They’ve got multiple teams and groups to cover everything from finding Baela's wedding dress to planning Jace's bachelor party. Aegon’s only assignment is on the reception party committee. Personally, as the lush he is, he thinks he should have been at least considered for a position on libations as well, but that’s beside the point.
The point is that Aegon is about to die from boredom on the party planning committee. His mother, Jace, Baela, Rhaena, and Daemon make up the committee. He doesn’t know how Alicent even made it into the group. He loves his mother, but there are some days he thinks you could threaten her with a good time. Yet, she’s the one dominating the conversation.
If his mother would stop talking, maybe he’d be less inclined to try sexting his brother.
His mother never stops talking.
planning is boring. would much rather talk about how good i’m gonna suck ur cock once you apologize
I’m apologizing? What for?
being born. and for blaming me for not waking u up
You should be the one apologizing for being born. Ask Mom. I won’t apologize for being annoyed that you always pass out after we fuck. You’re thoughtless. Your carelessness is going to get us caught.
what can i say? i was fucked out. always am with you
Aegon smiles, but only a little. His younger brother is a dick, but, fuck, does he know how to use his. One of Aegon’s favorites, and not just because of the convenience.
He really only strokes Aemond’s ego when it’ll get him a little stroke in exchange.
By this time, you’ve usually sent a nude. I admire your restraint this morning.
Aemond sidesteps the compliment, but Aegon knows him. He’s in now. Aemond doesn’t need to know he’d been planning a nude as an opener. Without an apology, Aegon decides he still isn’t getting one.
im all nuded out. ur turn
No.
ill accept an apology or a pic of ur cock. up to u
Aegon laughs under his breath. No way Aemond is going to be up for either of those. His brother rarely sends him nudes, and never, ever apologizes.
“Aegon. Are you looking it up?” His mother walks toward him with an expectant look.
He shakes his head slowly, drawing his eyebrows together. “Yes?”
“Are you, or aren’t you?”
“I might be, if you tell me what I’m supposed to be looking up.”
“The average number of—" she sighs, “never mind, just hand me your phone and I’ll do it.”
He doesn’t have time to react or yank his phone back before Alicent reaches over and plucks it from his hands, walking back to where she was sitting.
He breathes a sigh of relief in knowing that he’s already exited out of his and Aemond’s conversation, and that his brother is more likely to grow a new eye than apologize. His mother and their secret are safe.
Just as he has that thought, his phone drops to the ground and his mother lets out a blood curdling scream.
“Shit.” He stands from his chair like it’s shocked him. Playing it careful and curious, he bends down to pick his phone up. He is met with the reason for her horror, as if he didn’t know. There’s a cock in his messages, and not from the sent side. He’s received an ultra-rare picture of Aemond’s dick, and it’s been opened by their mother. To make matters worse, it isn’t even good. Aemond’s rarely are. He lacks appreciation for the art of the dick pic.
I’ll never apologize to you. Aemond’s text reads, and Aegon wishes, not for the first time, his brother had been born a bit more agreeable. Or, at least, with the sense that taking a picture of his cock from his own point of view, with his camera flash highlighting his wiry blond pubes and leg hair did not a good nude make.
“Shit.” He says again, and then over and over in his head. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
If his mother had been wearing pearls, she would have been clutching them. As it is, she’s tearing at her collar like she can’t breathe. She looks at him like she regrets having children at all. It’s not the first time he’s gotten that look. Probably won’t be the last.
“Alicent?” Baela goes to her side, looking between Aegon and his mother curiously. Alicent looks like she’s about to feint or be sick. Possibly feint and be sick.
“Your brother?” Alicent whispers. Aegon shakes his head. She can’t know. Aemond will kill him. She’ll kill him. Either way, Aegon will die, if he manages to live after the embarrassment.
“It’s not meant for me!” He blurts.
“What?” Color returns to her cheeks, angry red and blotchy, but it’s better than ghastly white.
“Aemond sent… he sent the dick pic to me by mistake.”
“Aemond took a dick pic?” Jace’s voice raises in surprise, as if he can’t believe Aemond does such things. Aegon wants to tell him that he does, though on occasions entirely too rare for his liking, and they’re rarely anything to marvel at.
“Aemond sent you a dick pic?” Rhaena is a nosy little thing that Aegon hates in that moment.
“Who then?” Alicent demands, still being held up by Baela. “Who was it for?”
Aegon swallows, “I think he’d rather tell you himself. He’s mortified himself enough already.”
Alicent shakes her head, she doesn’t believe him. Probably because he's lying, but she must believe. If she wants to continue having four children (he isn’t too sure she does), she has to accept whatever bullshit he can come up with on the spot.
Aegon prompts his brain to think of someone reasonable, like one of the two girls Aemond has dated previously. Aemond likes them dark haired, sly eyed, and quick tongued. Aegon has his own feelings about that, and how he does or does not fit into the type. With his deep brown waves, pretty smirk, and goading jokes, Aegon knows someone who fits the bill just right…
“Luke!” He blurts out the name of his Goldilocks train of thought. He’d momentarily forgotten one big thing.
“Luke?” Alicent chokes out.
“Luke?” Jace’s lips curl back from his teeth.
Daemon straightens in his chair, suddenly interested, “Luke?”
Rhaena, precious flower holding out hope, frowns, “Luke.”
“Yes.” Aegon nods. “Luke. But you can’t tell him or Aemond that you know. I only know because I caught them once.” He laughs wryly and runs a shaky hand through his hair. “Never sneak someone into your room and let them fall asleep is a lesson my brother learned the hard way.”
“Your brother is fucking my brother?” Jace shakes his head in disgust.
“He wouldn’t.” His mother insists. “Luke attacked him. Luke took his eye.”
“Opposites attract?” He offers dumbly.
She lets out a groan that becomes a wail halfway through. Baela continues to hold her up. Her expression is the only one in the room he’s unable to read.
“It makes sense, a little bit, doesn’t it?” She says. Aegon isn’t quite sure what she’d playing at.
“No. It doesn’t.” Alicent cries. “It makes no sense.”
“I mean, Aemond’s always staring at Luke during dinners, and cornering him after family events.”
“Yes, to kill him!” Jace says to his soon-to-be bride. Aegon snickers, and immediately quiets.
He’s right. Aemond does have oft voiced fantasies of killing Luke, and Aegon’s just told everyone they’re dating.
“Apparently not.” Baela nods to Aegon’s phone.
He smiles shakily, “Yeah. But really, don’t say anything. Aemond’s going to kill me if he knows you know.”
“Their secret is safe with us.” Rhaena vows.
Daemon huffs out a laugh under his breath. He’s got his phone out, already typing away.
Aegon shits a goddamn brick thinking about how he’s going to break the news to Aemond that their mother has seen his dick, he’s now dating Luke, and that he has essentially ruined his life.
Aegon bolts for his car the second his mother dismisses them. His first move should be to call Aemond to let him know, only he’s almost certain Aemond would chop him into pieces and feed him to his wildcat beast of a pet, Vhagar, before Aegon could fully explain himself.
Sure, Luke and Aemond have hated each other since the incident that resulted in Aemond’s missing eye. And Aemond holds grudges like it’s his job, while Luke has a special talent for riling him up wordlessly. But there are worse people Aegon could have said the dick pic was for, like….
He slams his head into his steering wheel three times, and then a fourth for good measure.
He opens up his and Aemond’s messages before he loses his nerve. Without his mother screaming in horror, Aegon saves the picture to his phone, shitty as it is. Once he tells Aemond the truth, he doubts he’ll get another one for a while, maybe ever again.
Aemond texted him a few times after the nude, a few increasingly indignant goads into responding. Aegon laughs. His brother is a praise whore, though he’d never admit it.
He holds his breath as he types out a message, presses send, and then turns his phone on Do Not Disturb.
mom saw ur dick :( i told her the pic was for luke. idk. prepare for an ass beating but at least its not a brother fucker ass beating
Next order of business is to make sure Luke doesn’t blow their cover. If he doesn’t corroborate, everything falls apart and then Alicent delivers not only one of her signature slaps, but a monologue so dense and righteous Aegon is sure he’d find himself longing for the ringing in his ears that follows her slap.
He and Luke don’t talk much. Aegon much prefers the company of almost anyone else. Luke isn’t unpleasant, but he certainly can’t keep up on a night out, and worse than that, he has an intact sense of shame. Aemond has that too.
Aegon thinks it makes for a dull existence.
After a moment of searching (Luke isn’t saved under his name, but rather Eye Snatcher, which makes finding him difficult), he makes the call. He crosses his fingers in his lap. He needs a single fucking win today.
Luke answers, his first break.
“Nephew…” He sing-songs.
“Uncle…” Luke sing-songs back mockingly. “What’s up?”
“I need a tiny favor.” He clicks his tongue against his front teeth. “It’s nothing, really. No effort required on your part. Just, a little white lie I need you to help me keep up.”
“What is it?” He asks, flat and skeptical.
“I need you to pretend you’re dating Aemond, if anyone asks.”
“Who would ask?”
“So, you’ll do it?” Aegon presses.
“No. Why should I?”
“To help me.”
“How would saying I’m dating Aemond help you?” That’s another reason Luke has never been his favorite nephew. He asks too many damn questions.
“Because we’ve gotten ourselves into a little situation.”
“Oooh,” Luke snarks, “a little situation.”
Aegon sighs. He decides, if he’s going to get Luke’s help, he’ll need to give him the truth.
“Aemond and I have been fucking and today he sent me a dick pic while I was helping plan your brother’s wedding. My mother saw and to save us from being found out by her, I told them the dick pic was meant for you and now you have to pretend to date Aemond or my mother will have my balls.” He says all in one breath, then wheezes. “And not in a metaphorical sense. She will actually have them taken from me and kept between my father’s ashes, and her bible.”
Luke is silent for a moment. “You’re fucking your brother?”
“Like you wouldn’t.” Aegon snaps, not liking the judgement in Luke’s tone.
“My brother? I wouldn’t.”
“No, my brother.”
“Yeah,” Luke drawls, “I wouldn’t do him either.”
“Well, you are.”
“I am what?”
“Doing him.” Aegon snickers.
Luke groans, “Why me, by the way? It could have been anyone else. Who was that girl he brought on the family vacation last year? The one that threatened to curse us?”
“Alys.” He supplies.
“Yes! Alys. It could have been her, why did you say me? How could I ever have crossed your mind?”
“I wasn’t thinking clearly. My mother opened a sext from my brother on my phone! She would have died if I let her believe it was truly meant for me, and then proceeded to haunt me as some pious, cockblocking ghost. At least she’ll only threaten your life.”
“Why would she threaten my life?” Luke’s voice goes high and scared.
“You know, the favor you promised me.”
“I don’t think I agreed.”
“I remember,” Aegon lies, “you did.”
“I’d like to rescind the promise I never made. Aemond wants to kill me. I’m not pretending we’re dating just to save your asses. Especially because there isn’t anything in it for me.”
“I’ll suck your dick.”
“Hard pass.”
Aegon closes his eyes. He doesn’t really have a ton more to offer.
A brilliant idea comes to mind. If anyone looked over at him, they’d see him grinning like a madman to himself.
“Aemond will hate it.” He dangles the bait in front of Luke.
Luke doesn’t answer. Aegon’s offering has piqued his interest.
“Come on, you know it’ll piss him off more than anything to pretend to date you. He’ll hate it even more than you do, which will make it super easy to fuck with him.”
“He is fun to fuck with.”
Aegon’s smile widens, “The funnest.”
“Fine. But only until Sunday dinner. If I have to spend more than one night pretending to date him, I think I’ll kill myself. That is, if he doesn’t kill me first.” That’s a more likely possibility, Aegon thinks.
“I’ll owe you one.” Aegon promises. And he plans to make good on that, if he remembers anything after the night he’s gonna have.
Their monthly family dinner gives Aegon a few days to calm Aemond down and fuck him away from the precipice of murder. Then, before it snowballs into something big, Aemond and Luke can break off their imaginary fling and Aegon can continue breaking off a piece of his brother when they’re both in the mood.
“You'll owe me three.” Luke says, then after a brief pause, “Was the dick pic even worth it?”
Aegon cackles, then shrugs to himself, “It was nothing special, composition wise, but he’s fucking hung.”
“Oh god. I don’t know why I asked.” Luke laughs before hanging up.
Aegon lets his head fall back against his headrest.
He needs a beer. Six maybe. Twelve if the people at the bar are ugly.
By the time he stumbles into the house, driven back by a just above average looking sorority girl he’d eaten out in the bathroom, Aegon has drunk most of his worries away. The ones he hasn’t are overshadowed by his need for a piss and his bed.
He means to be careful with the front door to his and Aemond’s house, but it opens noisily anyway. When he sneakily toes off his shoes, he lands on his ass, head smacking against the wood while he lays there and laughs breathily.
The house is dark and there are stars in his eyes from the fall. Aegon lets himself lay there for a moment. He would get up, only the ground is nearly cozy, and even picking his head up makes the world spin unevenly.
Heavy footsteps come down the stairs.
“Oh no.” Aegon mumbles. “Here comes Mr. Meanie.”
“You told Mom I meant to send a picture of my fucking dick to Luke?” Aemond gets to the bottom of the stairs, and stands over him. He’s in his nightclothes, but Aegon knows he wasn’t sleeping. Aemond goes to sleep late and wakes up early. He’s the type of madman that functions on four hours of sleep and calls himself well adjusted.
“Better him than me.” He mumbles.
Aemond holds out his hand. Aegon should know better than to take it. He does it anyway.
Aemond pulls him up a bit and lets Aegon drop back down. Again, his head knocks against hardwood.
“Fucker!” He spits.
Aemond leans over him. His long hair tickles the tip of Aegon’s nose, and he laughs.
“Why do you insist on tormenting me? It could have been anyone else. You could have said the fucking queen, and it would have made more sense than… Luke.” He grabs the front of Aegon’s t-shirt, lifts him up again before dropping him. Aegon plays ragdoll, hitting the ground with a breathy ‘oof’ before laughing harder.
“I think,” he says, trying to catch his breath, “you make a lovely couple.”
Aemond’s anger is funny. The way his lips curl and his jaw juts out in offense. He straightens up, as if the sound of Aegon’s laughter is reason enough to recoil.
“You’re a fucking idiot.”
Aegon swallows. He smiles, not quite the hyena grin from before.
“I know.”
His brother reaches his hand out again. Aegon takes it. When it comes to trusting Aemond, Aegon knows it’s a better bet to go with him, than against him. Now that Aemond’s gotten his prerequisite violence out, he actually helps Aegon to his feet.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it all figured out.” He promises. He doesn’t see it, but he’s pretty sure Aemond rolls his eye. They walk together up the stairs, and to Aegon’s room in the house. More accurately, Aemond drags Aegon to his room, arm looped under his armpits, supporting most of his drunken weight.
Aemond leads him to his bed. Aegon presses in a bit closer and shakes his head.
“I have to piss.” He says into Aemond’s neck.
Aemond huffs and shoves him away. The bathroom is only a few steps away and Aegon stumbles into it alone. He strips down to nothing but his socks. The last time he tried to take off his socks while drunk in the bathroom, he ended up with his hand in the toilet bowl, and piss on the floor. Last Friday was not one of his finest days.
After he finishes, he checks back into his bedroom to see if Aemond is still there. When he sees that he is, he washes his hands and brushes his teeth. Aemond makes a show out of only wanting him when he’s clean.
He shuffles back into the bedroom, and stops in front of Aemond, who’s swaying slightly. Aegon smiles. He rarely sees him dance.
“Lay the fuck down before you fall.” Aemond barks at him. He giggles, realizing his brother wasn’t the one swaying. He must not move fast enough because Aemond grabs him by his shoulders and turns him around to the bed, pushing him toward it.
Aegon needs that, sometimes. Someone to tell him where to put his bits. He throws his arms around Aemond, ignoring his displeased grunt to feel more of his warmth through his well-worn t-shirt.
“Don’t fall asleep on your back.” Aemond says while reaching behind them to unwrap Aegon’s arms.
“I won’t.” He murmurs, slow and sloppy. Side sleeping only while drunk, in case he pukes. It’s only happened a few times, but waking up covered in his own vomit is a bit less embarrassing than choking on it.
“Stay.” He mumbles into Aemond’s neck and presses a kiss to his shoulder. He does it again, on his jaw, then the corner of his mouth. His brother shoves him away and onto the bed with finality.
Aemond stands up straight. His frosty expression is a bit silly when his hair is sticking up like an electrocuted party store wig.
“We don’t do that.”
“We don’t do that.” Aegon mocks him, as if the mess Aemond is so mad at him over hadn’t started precisely because they did that.
Saturday night is the first time Aemond allows Aegon into his space since the fuckup earlier in the week.
He lets Aegon blow him, generous and kind as he is, but won’t get naked. He refuses to help Aegon get off either, leaving him hard on his knees. Fucking prick.
“Mom’s been calling me about four times a day.” He says as he tucks himself back into his pants. He’s turned away from Aegon, back stiff. Aegon shoves his hand down his boxers to get himself off quickly, rolling his eyes.
“What? As opposed to her typical three?”
Aemond snaps around and grimaces in disgust.
“Really?” His eye flickers down to Aegon’s sloppy work. He shrugs.
Aemond shakes his head and turns back around. Aegon wishes he could see his face as he comes, but his ass works almost as well.
“Rhaenyra also called to remind me that my, quote, ‘actions have consequences’.”
Aegon comes into his hand, laughing at the words of their half-sister.
“That actually doesn’t sound too bad. I expected more from her.” Maybe Rhaenyra’s lost some of her terrifying mama bear touch.
Aemond shakes his head, “That came after she told me in explicit detail exactly how she would rip my skin from my flesh, my flesh from my bones, and flay my cock tip to taint if I hurt her son.”
“Not your cock!” He cries and throws his arms around himself. He shivers exaggeratedly, and only just dodges Aemond trying to kick him in the shoulder.
“Do you think she’s fucking joking?”
Aegon cackles, “No. I know she’s serious. That’s what makes it so funny.”
Really, he’d feel worse about the situation if it wasn’t hilarious. The news of Aemond and Luke’s sordid affair and Aemond’s ‘fuck up’ in sending the picture to Aegon was the best piece of juicy gossip their family had in a while. It was no surprise that the news spread faster than fire and was nearly as destructive.
Luke too, had let him know of just how quickly the rumor mill of their family worked. He sent Aegon a screenshot of a text he received from Alicent a few days ago.
Stay away from my son. The message read.
Aegon snorted and sent back: at least it wasn’t a death threat. Now that he knows what Aemond was put through by Luke’s mother, he thinks he really got off easy.
The threat is implied. Luke replied. Aegon couldn’t argue with that.
“Help me up.” He kicks out at Aemond’s ankle and holds out his hand. The one covered in his own cum. Aemond crosses his arms in front of him, and Aegon wipes his hand on his shirt before holding it out again. Aemond takes it that time, curling his lip like he hasn’t had Aegon’s cum is his belly. He can’t be a prude about getting some on his hand.
“Now give me a kiss.” He pushes his luck. Aemond kisses him so rarely, like it's some kind of chore. That's why it's a surprise when Aemond pulls him in with an arm around his waist and follows Aegon's direction. Aegon smiles against his lips. Say what you want about him, he often gets what he wants.
“Your breath smells like cock.” Aemond scrunches his nose when he pulls away.
“Yes. Yours, you fucking dickhead.” He cuffs a hand around the back of Aemond’s neck and forces him down, breathing hot air directly into his nose. Aemond grew up to be bigger and taller than him, so he needs to be humbled occasionally. He is still Aegon's little brother, after all.
Aegon is well aware of the shitstorm he brewed. Their family is abuzz. Rumors nip at Luke and Aemond’s heels, even if no one besides their mothers is brave enough to directly breech the subject.
So, when he and Aemond arrive together at the family dinner, Aegon knows he needs to get Luke and Aemond together, and let them, in their volatile glory, "break up" in front of their whole family.
“I’m not doing that.” Aemond says when Aegon tells him the plan.
“You have to.” Aegon says back, helping himself to a glass of wine in Rhaenyra’s kitchen as everyone else mingles around the house.
“Every time I see him—“
“Yes, I know. Every time you see him you want to grind his bones to make your bread, and blow down his house to gobble him up.”
Aemond scowls, “All I can think about is the night he sliced my eye out of my fucking head.” He finishes. Before Aegon can decide if he wants to apologize or make another joke, Aemond stalks out of the kitchen.
Aegon doubles the size glass he’s pouring. If his mother is going to find out he and Aemond are fucking because Aemond can’t keep his cool, he’s at least going to go out the way he’s always wanted: wine drunk and causing a bit of fun trouble.
The top story of the night is Jace and Baela’s steadily approaching nuptials, but that's only on the surface. Under that, whispers of the dick pic and Luke and Aemond’s surreptitious affair drive the conversation. The gossip becomes much more interesting and fun to participate in as Aegon’s blood alcohol level rises.
He finds Luke before dinner. He’s drunk, but not quite sloppy yet. Just… feeling quite puckish.
“Aemond’s in the dining room.” He says.
Luke looks at him, unimpressed.
“And Rhaena is in the bathroom.”
“What?”
Luke breaks a small smile. “I thought we were randomly naming people’s locations.”
“I’m trying to help you find your boyfriend.” He explains, leaning in quite close.
Luke backs away. “I don’t think any façade Aemond and I try to put on is going to be convincing.”
“Aemond’s ready to play along. All you have to do is greet him like a lover, and let whatever fight you’re itching to have, happen. Then, it’ll all be over.” Aegon urges him. Luke looks over to Aemond, and grimaces.
“You’re sure?” He asks.
Aegon nods seriously. He is absolutely positive Aemond and Luke are going to fight. Aemond being ready to play along… that was wishful thinking.
He follows Luke into the dining room, and takes a seat at the table with the best view of the action.
He watches as Luke sneaks up to Aemond. Aegon sits back in his chair. This is going to be good. He creeps, slow, deliberate, and so fucking funny that Aegon is huffing into his wine glass before he even makes contact.
When he does, the show gets even better. Everyone else seems to think so too. Time seems to stop for everyone as Luke and Aemond start talking.
Luke is smiling at first, and then, the second Aemond opens his mouth, he frowns.
Aemond dodges Luke’s hand that reaches out, and Aegon winces. Sell it, he wills them, at least long enough for their family to be thoroughly convinced they’ve witnessed the end of something nobody knew had begun.
“They don’t look like they’re having a romantic conversation.” Joffrey, the little shit, raises an eyebrow. Aegon hadn’t even noticed him sneaking up beside him.
Aegon clinks his wine glass into his nephew’s glass of water, “Trouble in paradise?”
“Yeah. Maybe.” He says, not taking his eyes off their brothers as he walks away.
Aemond and Luke keep talking. Joffrey is right, it looks anything but romantic.
Jace approaches Aemond next. He stands to the side of him, clenching his fists and watching their brothers with ire. Aegon giggles to himself. If someone looked at them then, it would be Jace that most would suspect is fucking his brother. To Aegon, he looks almost jealous of Luke and Aemond interacting.
“Older brother to older brother, if Aemond hurts Luke I’ll have to kill him.”
Jace doesn’t know. Nobody knows the truth of their lie besides him, Aemond, and Luke, but it is still a bit funny to watch Jace puff out his chest for his brother’s honor. Still, the warning isn’t nearly as gruesome as his mother’s was.
“I don’t think that’ll be a problem.” Aegon will be surprised if they make it through the next few minutes.
Jacaerys frowns, “They’re serious already?”
“Oh.” Aegon short circuits. Of course, that’s what he thought he meant. “Yes. Very serious. I heard they’re looking into having their own wedding already.”
The soon-to-be-groom flushes red, looking toward where their younger brothers are having an increasingly tense conversation. For the moment, this is the most arousing game he could be playing.
“Your brother is ready for commitment, but mine still needs a bit of a push.” He adds, fuel on the flame. Jacaerys turns back to him, now even redder. His eyes flick, confused, enraged, disgusted between their brothers and Aegon.
“Luke!” He calls across the room, stalking away with his hands balled at his sides.
Aegon throws his head back and laughs.
His nephew is much funnier when Aegon is drunk. Everyone is.
Before Jace can make it over to the unhappy not-couple, the hostess, Rhaenyra, comes out and tells everyone to be seated.
Baela drags Jace back to their seats next to Aegon.
“Don’t worry,” he leans over and whispers, “I don’t think their wedding will overshadow yours. Aemond has always wanted a winter honeymoon.”
The dinner hasn’t even started, and Aegon has Jace gripping his silverware. Not bad at all.
Everyone else sits down around the long table, but Luke and Aemond continue their conversation that looks even more heated than before. Together, everyone watches them with rapt attention.
Eventually, Luke catches on because he jerks his head to the table.
Aemond says something, looking at his feet, and they make their way over.
The only two seats open are right across from Aegon, deliberately left open for the couple.
“Ladies first.” Aemond gestures for Luke to sit. Bitterness rolls off his tongue. Aegon knows its taste.
Luke nods, and pulls out the chair in front of Aemond, “For you, love.”
Aegon nearly chokes on the drink he was taking. Aemond turns red from his neck to his hairline, nearly bursting with anger.
Rhaenyra, who’d been watching the exchange as they all were, clears her throat to bring the attention back to herself at the head of the table. It would be no surprise to anyone if the glass she held burst in her hand. Her fingers press down so hard they’re shaking.
“It’s nice to see you all, tonight.” Aegon snorts. Oh, yes, her clenched teeth and the vein popping out of her forehead spell out her excitement. “I’m so glad our family can come together as one so frequently. Dad would have loved to see this.” She raises a toast, and their family responds in kind. Aegon clinks his glass awkwardly with Rhaena on his right, then Jace on his left. As he’s going to take a sip, a too-loud clank and clatter of glass comes from across the table.
He catches the scene just quickly enough to see Aemond’s smug smile as wine spills down Luke’s hand and wrist, then onto the table.
There’s a wave of gasps around the table. Aegon has to give his nephew some credit, Luke takes it in stride. He takes the napkin from Aemond’s setting and dabs at his wrist before looking back up and smiling reassuringly around the table.
“He’s so mean to me.” Luke turns his playful smile into a pout, keeping a light air about the situation.
“It’s not like you’re a fucking delight to be around, fucking prick.” Aemond seethes. Aegon shrinks down into his seat and beats his head against the back of it.
Luke pauses, and a serene smile spreads across his face. He covers Aemond’s shaking hand with his own.
“Maybe,” he says sweetly, “if you were a better boyfriend to me, I’d be a bit nicer to you.”
The gasps from Aemond spilling the wine were whispers in comparison to the roar of surprise that goes around the table. Alicent and Rhaenyra let out joint cries of horror. Once that starts, there’s no stopping it.
Everyone has their piece to say on the matter.
“I thought it was a joke.” Aegon, Rhaenyra’s son says.
“It’s true?” Alicent wails. “Aemond why Luke?”
“Why Luke?” Rhaenyra bristles. “It should be why Aemond? Luke, what’s going on?”
“Lucerys took my son’s eye.”
Rhaenyra throws her hands up in the air, “Will you ever let that go, Alicent? Even Aemond has, since he’s dating him.”
Aegon meets Aemond’s eye across the table. His knife is clenched in his hand. Aegon wonders if his plan is to use that on Luke, Rhaenyra, or Aegon himself.
Daemon, also with a knife in his hand, gestures to Aemond, “Do you know where this will go if you hurt him?”
Aemond drops the cutlery from his hand and looks up to their uncle, deeply set contempt in his eye. Poor thing, Aegon clucks his tongue.
“Where?”
The incessant chatter around the table stops at the challenge.
Daemon pushes his chair back from the table and slams the knife down flat, covering it with his palm before sending it skitting across the long dining room table. Luke stops it before it reaches Aemond. He holds it, weighing the steak knife like a dagger in his palm.
Daemon smirks, “Luke decided well enough last time, didn’t he?”
“You—” Aegon’s mother launches herself out of her chair. Helaena puts a hand on her wrist to calm her, but she yanks away. Daemon laughs. His nasty, tittering huffs are truly a marvel Aegon wishes to perfect someday.
From there, it doesn’t take very much before most everyone is up and out of their seats. Dinner devolves into chaos. His two youngest nephews do not join the fighting, and instead hide behind their mother. Aemond likely would too, if he could. Aegon can see it written on his face.
No one in the room looks as miserable as Luke and Aemond.
Their mothers, yelling at each other behind the chair of their sons, are, at least, enlivened by the argument.
Helaena clasps her hands over her ears and walks completely out of the dining room. Aegon has half a mind to join her, but the entertainment of it all is the best comedy he’s seen in years. And he’s the secret mastermind behind it.
“I just don’t get it,” Rhaena says to her father, “why would Luke want to date him?”
“It’s a fucking trap, or something!” Joffrey yells to Jacaerys and Baela, who are already looking at Luke with concern. “Aemond is trying to get Luke to let his guard down, and then he’s going to kill him.”
“He’s going to corrupt him! My son is good, and Lucerys is a menace.”
“Luke? Apologies, but wasn’t it Aemond’s cock that brought this into the open? Alicent, if you want to bring up perversion, let’s start there.”
Aegon’s eyes flicker around the room, picking up only bits and pieces of the multiple conversations going on.
“He’s a cunt.” Daemon says. “His mother is a cunt. His brother is a cunt.” Aegon takes offense at that. “His grandfather was the biggest cunt I’ve ever known. Aemond comes from a long line of cunts. Eventually Luke will figure that out.” He consoles his daughter.
“He’s a cunt!” Little Viserys repeats after his father.
“Did you see the picture?” Jacaerys asks. If he’s trying to be subtle, he’s failing.
Baela shakes her head. “I wish I had.”
“Hey."” Jace warns.
“Just to know if that’s why, right?” She does a better job at lowering her voice than her fiancé, but not good enough, “I mean, it can’t be his personality.”
He snorts. It really isn’t Aemond’s dick, or personality that does it for Aegon. Daemon is right about him. He is a cunt. And although his cock is indeed top notch, Aegon’s had top notch cock before. He doesn’t have to fuck his brother for it, and he certainly doesn’t get, or want, any of the soft boyfriend shit Luke would supposedly be getting.
What gets Aegon, is his brother shoving him into the right places. He hurts him in just the right ways, like pushing his thumb into a bruise and relishing in that deliberately painful tenderness. That doesn’t mean he wants more fucking bruises. Without that, Aegon has no fucking clue why Luke would be with Aemond, either.
There are only three silent people in the room. Himself, and the two everyone else is arguing over.
His nephew and brother sit next to each other, glaring twin daggers of contempt into each other’s eyes, but not saying a word.
Aegon’s just glad they aren’t looking at him.
While evading any attention, Aegon tops off his drink again. It doesn’t look like they’ll be getting around to the planned wholesome family meal any time soon.
Aemond and Luke have ruined dinner with one untrue revelation. More impressive to Aegon, they’ve managed to do it before the first course is served.