Chapter Text
They say you can’t be good at everything, that is why pencils have erasers.
Jiang Cheng’s eraser at life seems to be growing thin.
Jiang Cheng is blessed with good looks from a good family background and lives a successful career with sufficient income but he is desperately unlucky when it comes to love.
There is a list, a very specific list with Jiang Cheng’s 'type' that, if Wei Wuxian is feeling magnanimous, can be summarized in three simple words: rich, older men
That is where Jiang Cheng’s luck runs out. He has the misfortune of only collecting the bad apples.
From Jiang Cheng’s dating statistics, all his previous partners are always the dastardly rich, older men who are either happily married with the ringline of an unworn platinum ring on their fingers, or are gay that are already committed to life-long partners but still wants to play.
A big chunk of Jiang Cheng’s eraser is consumed by these men. Naïve and color blind in love despite his 20/20 vision, he still cannot distinguish the red flag from the green ones, always ending up unaware and being the cheated third party.
Jiang Cheng might always wear a scary expression as sharp as a flash of lighting and every word from his mouth like thunder but he is truly a big jar of sugar at the end of the rainbow, waiting to be discovered by the right person. He knows his heart despite his gruff exterior. He wants to be happy like everyone else. He just wants to find someone he can love and will love him for a very long time.
Hard on the outside but soft on the inside, Jiang Cheng just keeps falling for the wrong [married] man.
After another incident, Incident #4 as per Nie Huaisang’s count, where Jiang Cheng giddily planned to surprise his (ex)boyfriend with an early return from his business trip, only to be surprised in turn by the confused welcome of his (ex)boyfriend’s legal partner’s smile at the door, his friends decided to finally intervene.
Though Jiang Cheng’s rage for being cheated fuels his productivity by venting it at work, his colleagues all agree that their Jiang Cheng’s diamond tears are too precious to be shed for cheating bastards who treat him as only a fling and a plaything.
So, they scheme.
“—Jin Zixuan from accounting?”
“Ew, that peacock! Cheng-cheng could do so much better!”
“How about Xue Yang from operations?”
“Too young!”
“Only by two or three years!” Nie Huaisang insists. “Why does that matter now? We are going to ignore Jiang Cheng’s list anyway!”
“They both have daddy issues! Xue Yang would teach our Ah-Cheng bad things!”
Nie Huaisang snorts. He doesn't know if Wei Wuxian is trying to help or trying to hinder. He acknowledges Wei Wuxian’s comments, but they can't exactly be very picky, their Ah-Cheng deserves only the best but there’s only so many good single candidates they know at work.
A name suddenly flashes by his computer from a work email. Nie Huaisang bites his tongue for a second and considers it. “Then, what do you think of Lan Wangji from sales?”
They look up from both their computers to stare at each other.
Wei Wuxian chuckles before getting back to his word document. “There would be another world war.”
“A cold war,” Nie Huaisang points out.
“Jiang Cheng would rather skin himself alive.”
“Lan Wangji would want to watch it happen, VIP front seats.”
Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian snickers at their work cubicles, thinking of all the hilarious possibilities.
Aside from his type, Jiang Cheng has another list. A very specific list of people Jiang Cheng doesn’t want to date.
Younger men.
Co-workers.
And Lan Wangji.
a golden apple has shown up