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John stares at the pile of crumbled up paper resting at his feet, essentially taunting him. Anyone that saw him would assume that he’s preparing for his court martial - figuring out how to defend his failed rescue of Captain Holland. However, that statement has been done for days. What he’s working on now is far more difficult - and far more secretive.
John and his boyfriend have managed to keep their relationship secret for nearly three years, which is a pretty incredible feat given that they’re both Air Force Officers frequently deployed on Top Secret missions. The fact that they don’t get to spend as much time together as they would like does help with the secrecy, but things are about to change and it’s a risk that they can’t take anymore. John’s career is up in flames - if he even still has a career after tomorrow - but his boyfriend’s is on the rise and John’s not going to drag him down with him. He picks up his pen and starts writing what he hopes is his final draft.
The past three years that we’e been together have been amazing. We click in a way that I have never clicked with anyone before, and I found myself considering what life might look like for us after the military. But with what I’m facing, that’s something that I no longer can do. Even if I’m allowed to keep my career, there will be people that will be constantly looking for an excuse to bounce me out. And if the wrong person accidentally discovered us… I’m not selfish enough to bring you down with me. That means that no matter how much I hate saying it, this needs to end. You have your new assignment and have always been on track to outrank me some day. You’ll truly be able to thrive without me weighing you down. I’m sorry, but this is for the best. Love, John
He folds the letter and places it on his pillow where his boyfriend - ex-boyfriend - will see it as soon as he wakes. He knows that he’s taking the coward’s way out, but he also doesn’t trust himself to not cave and reconsider if he tries to break up with his boyfriend face-to-face. He takes a deep breath as he steps out into the night, knowing that no matter what happens, nothing will ever be the same.
Three years later, John is opens the personnel file for the man that he was strongly advised to select as his XO, and swears when he sees the familiar face starting up at him from the photo. Major Evan Lorne, United States Air Force, John’s ex-boyfriend.