Chapter Text
Tikki watched from her perch above the kitchen cabinets as Marinette Dupain-Cheng let in a disheveled Adrien Agreste. She already knew where this was going. This is going to be a disaster, she thought to herself.
She watched Marinette make small talk as she gestured to Adrien to take a seat on the couch while she set a kettle on the stove.
“Any particular type of tea?” Marinette asked as she searched through her tins, “I have Chia, English breakfast, Black, Earl Grey, Black Berry….” Tikki stopped listening as Marinette continued to list. Instead, she studied Adrien. He looked… Well, not great, but he looked good despite everything that had happened in the last few hours.
“Hmm, Passionfruit sounds good,” Adrien said. Tikki noted that Marinette had already begun prepping the tea before she even heard Adrien’s choice.
“Are you okay?” Marinette asked as she brought in the two cups of hot tea and settled on the opposite end of the couch from Adrien. He accepted the cup gratefully. He took a careful sip, then hummed in appreciation, before placing it on the coffee table.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” Adrien buried his hands in his hair before looking back up at Marinette, “I’m sure you’ve heard the news by now?”
“Yeah. I’m so sorry about, well, everything.”
Tikki couldn’t help the indelicate snort that escaped her. Marinette hadn’t actually heard the news. Marinette, along with Adrien himself, had, in a certain point of view, created that particular story only a few hours earlier. Ladybug had swung through her bedroom window and transformed barely minutes before Adrien arrived on her doorstep, looking for all the world like a lost puppy.
“Yeah. My house is kinda a crime scene right now and I… I don’t really know where else to go.”
“I’m glad you came here. I wasn’t kidding when I said you can come over whenever.”
Adrien cringed, “You may want to save that till after you hear my favor.”
“What do you need?”
Adrien didn’t respond right away. He searched Marinette’s face, looking for hesitancy that Tikki knew he wouldn’t find, “I was kinda hoping…” He began, then restarted, “I need a place to crash until the authorities sort everything out with my father’s stuff and unfreeze my assets.” He looked up hopefully at Marinette, and Tikki knew her charge couldn’t say no to his pretty green eyes.
“Of course you can crash here!”
“I would have asked Nino, but…”
“Don’t worry, I understand. I lived with Alya and Nino for six months before I was able to afford this place and I would rather crawl back to my parents than live with them again. I love them with all my heart, but I don’t want to know how much they love each other.”
“Exactly.” Adrien said with a sigh of relief, thankful not only for Marinette’s offer to let him stay, but also for the understanding. Little did he know that there was very little Marinette wouldn’t do to help out a friend, especially Adrien.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Marinette asked gently after a second of hesitation.
Adrien shook his head, “There isn’t really much to say. My father was Shadow Moth.” He lifted his shoulder in a shrug, “He did it in some twisted plan to try to bring my mom back from the dead.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Adrien shrugged again, “I mean, I already knew she died, years ago. I always thought my father said she went missing to spare my feelings. Kind of like how some parents tell their kids that their dog went to live on a farm after it got hit by a car.” Adrien rolled his eyes, “But father never did care about my feelings, so I don’t know why I thought this time would be different.”
“I’m so sorry,” Marinette said again.
“Honestly, I’m mostly just glad to have closure. I know that sounds cold, and I feel kinda bad about that, but…”
“Not cold, “Marinette soothed, “You already went through your grief and dealt with it. If anything, I think you are at a healthy place.”
Plagg joined Tikki above the cabinets, “Hey roomie,” He grinned, showing off his tiny fangs.
“Hello Plagg.”
“This is going to be a disaster!” He cackled gleefully.
Ladybug sat on the building and watched the lights twinkle on the Eiffel tower. She tried not to fidget, but she was antsy. She glanced around for the millionth time. Where was he? He usually wasn’t late, why did he have to be today of all days? Ladybug stood up and began to pace, the anxious energy needing to be spent somehow.
“Hey, My Lady.”
Ladybug spun around and looked up. Chat Noir stood on the building higher up, looking down at her. She felt her heart race as she stared up at his familiar features and she tried to control her reaction. Why was she so nervous? He jumped, landing lightly beside her and flashed a signature Chat grin.
“There you are! You’re late!” She admonished.
“Sorry,” He gave her a little smile that told her he wasn’t sorry at all, “I love spending time with you, obviously, but Shadow Moth is gone. What am I late for?”
“Just because Shadow Moth is gone doesn’t mean our duties as heroes are over. We still have to patrol! Paris still needs us!” The excuse sounded flimsy, but he seemed to accept it.
“Of course you are right, My Lady. Shall we patrol then?” He prepared to jump, but she grabbed his wrist.
“Wait! Not yet, there is something else.” The nerves flared in full force again and she dropped his wrist and wrapped her arms around herself. The silence turned uncomfortable and Ladybug looked up to see Chat Noir waiting for her to continue with a patient if confused expression. Ladybug couldn't help but feel a little disappointed. She had been hoping he would ask first. She had been counting on him asking first so she could launch into her prepared speech. She floundered for a second as she gathered her thoughts. He raised an eyebrow at her, “Cat got your tongue?”
She shot him a mock glare and he laughed. She huffed, trying to put a serious look on her face. It was harder than it should have been because his laughter was so contagious.
“I have been thinking-”
“A dangerous pastime.”
She continued, doing her best to ignore his commentary as she started her thought-out reasoning and proposition, “Now that Shadow Moth is defeated, keeping our identities from each other isn’t really necessary. I don’t think there could be another super villain with his ability to control people, so I don’t think knowing who the other is would compromise our identities,” Ladybug paused as she studied her partner, waiting for him to jump on the implied offer.
He didn’t.
A bit disheartened, she fumbled the ending, “Do you, I mean, I was wondering if you want to…” She trailed off as Chat Noir blanched, turning away from her. He sat down on the edge of the building, his back ramrod straight. “Minou?” She asked softly, joining him on the ledge.
“I’m not ready yet,” He whispered.
Ladybug was stunned into silence. He had been dying to tell her who he was since the beginning, had been dying to know who she was. She hadn’t even considered him not wanting to trade secret identities to be an option. She had already begun imagining a future where she could have her best friend on speed dial, where she could swing over to his house on a Saturday afternoon, where she could call him by his real name. She tried to swallow the hurt. She wasn’t used to being rejected by Chat Noir. But as he continued, her hurt feelings were overshadowed by his obvious distress.
“I’ve got some… things going on in my personal life that I’m not proud of. Things I’m not ready for you to know about yet.” He hunched in on himself, as if expecting a reprimand.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Ladybug said softly, pulling him to her side and his arm automatically wrapped around her, “Whenever you are ready, just let me know. And I promise, no matter how much of a mess your personal life is, that won’t change how I feel about you. You will always be my most important person.” Then she rolled her eyes, “Trust me, I’m a mess too.”
He didn’t say anything, just rested his head on her shoulder, so she squeezed him tighter.
Idiot!
Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!
Chat Noir wanted to beat his head against something. Anything. He sighed, dropping down to sit against a wall. He let his head fall back with a soft thud on the bricks behind him and stared up at the sky. Paris was too bright to see stars, but he liked to imagine them, way up there, twinkling down at him.
He sighed again as he thought back over what happened earlier. Ladybug had offered him the thing he had been wishing for, for years! And he said no! He gently thunked his head against the wall. But the thought of Ladybug knowing he was Gabriel’s son filled his stomach with acid.
He stared back up at the sky and realized belatedly that it was getting late. He had run around the city for a few hours after he met up with Ladybug, as if he could ever run fast enough to escape his own thoughts. Marinette might start to worry about him. He stood and began making his way to her home. There was a convenient alley near her building, so he ducked inside and released his transformation. He had the camembert ready, but Plagg just crossed his arms in front of his tiny body, his green cat eyes glowing in the dim alley light.
“I know, I know,” Adrien moaned, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Plagg seemed to accept this because he gulped the cheese and hid inside Adrien’s pocket without a word. Thankful that Plagg didn’t berate him for his idiocy, he made his way up the flights of stairs that brought him to Marinette’s floor.
“Hey Adrien!” Marinette called from her second room that she used as an art studio. She must have heard the door unlock as he let himself in. Adrien briefly thought about calling a greeting back and then settling on the couch that doubled as his bed, but thought better of it. It would be rude to brush off Marinette. He walked over and peeked through the doorway. She was on her hands and knees in the center of the room, bits and pieces of fabric surrounding her. It looked like a fabric store exploded.
“What are you doing?”
She didn’t look up, just gave a little breathy laugh as she snagged some fabric, compared it to other fabric, then tossed it aside, “Brainstorming.” Then she looked up and her whole demeanor switched. She frowned up at him, “What’s wrong?”
“What?”
She sat back on her heels, her concern evident as she tilted her head to study him, “Something's wrong, what is it?”
“How could you-?”
“You wear your emotions all over your face.”
“Oh.”
She sensed his hesitation, “Did you want to talk about it?” She asked gently.
The automatic no rose to his lips, but suddenly, he realized he did want to talk about it. With Marinette. He walked over to her pink chase and flopped down heavily.
“I think I do, actually.”
She nodded, but stayed silent, encouraging him to continue.
“I have this friend,” He began carefully, wondering how to explain his situation. Then inspiration hit him, “An internet friend. We met while, uh, playing some online games and we worked really well together. I have known her for a long time, but we have never actually met in person. I found out we both lived in Paris and, in the beginning, I used to ask to meet her all the time, because I wanted to know her in real life, not just while we were, um, playing games.” He glanced at Marinette to see how she was taking the story. Her face was open and unsuspicious, so this scenario must be believable. She seemed to think he was waiting for a response rather than evaluating her reaction because she nodded her understanding. He continued, “But she never wanted to meet up. At the time, I was disappointed, but I get it now. We were barely teenagers at the time-”
“Wait,” Marinette interrupted him, her eyes glinting with mischief, “This doesn't happen to be The Girl, does it?”
“The Girl?” Adrien echoed.
“Yeah, the mystery girl Nino was always teasing you about in collège and lycée? The one who he was sure you were secretly dating?”
“Oh. I guess so?”
“So you were secretly dating her?”
“No!”
“Oh.” Marinette seemed taken aback, “We all could have sworn you were in love with her.”
“I am- was!”
Her eyebrows rose, “You are?” Her intonation made it clear his slip hadn’t escaped her notice.
“This is not what we are talking about!” Adrien complained.
“Maybe not, but now I want to talk about this.” She scooted closer, placeing her elbows on her knees and resting her chin in her hands, looking far too pleased with herself, “Tell me about her!”
“Like what?” He sat up straight, as was his habit when he was uncomfortable. He didn’t want to talk about this, but he couldn’t help the words spilling from his mouth when Marinette looked at him like that.
“Anything!” Marinette pleaded, “When did you realize you loved her? Does she know?”
Adrien glanced at her and saw her huge grin. Disappointment shot through him and he frowned. Disappointed ? “I guess right away. She is hard not to love, honestly.”
“Does she know?” Marinette prodded when he paused for too long.
Why was he disappointed that Marinette wanted to talk about this? “I’ve told her.”
Marinette squealed happily, “Aww!”
Why was he disappointed that she was excited to hear about his love life? He examined his feelings.
Oh.
Was he…?
Oh no.
Was he in love with Marinette too?
No. He couldn't be. He loved Ladybug. Only Ladybug.
Right?
He blinked as Marinette gave him an absolutely blinding smile. A familiar emotion washed over him and his mouth dropped open.
He was. He was in stupid, duplicitous love. Guilt and a treacherous fluttery feeling pooled in his stomach.
How could this happen? When did this happen? How had he not realized before? Most importantly, what was he going to do about it?
“Okay. So you have an online girlfriend who isn’t your girlfriend who didn’t want to meet up because you guys were young and she couldn’t be sure you weren’t a creep. But you told her you love her,” Marinette was oblivious to his internal turmoil, “So what happened?”
“She wants to meet up now.”
“That’s great!”
“No! It’s not!” He was so confused. How could his heart betray him like this?
“It’s not?”
“Right now is the worst time to meet. My life is a total mess. My dad is a terrorist, all my assets are frozen, and I am living on my friend's couch.”
“None of those things are your fault or say anything bad about your character,” Marinette got up and joined him on the chase. That did not help. She was far too close and his brain stuttered as he tried to think straight. “And if you have known this girl for this long, she will know that too.” Then Marinette frowned, “Although, it is in our power to fix one of those things.”
“Oh?” He asked, a bit sarcastically. He battled between the urge to stand up and put space between them and the sudden desire to lean into her.
“Yeah. Instead of living on your friend's couch, you can be roommates with your friend instead.” She shrugged and smiled, “It sounds better and I’m sure it would be more comfortable.”
“I- What?”
Marinette stood, gesturing around the room, and Adrien could thankfully, finally think clearly again, “Technically, this is a bedroom. And I’m sure the authorities wouldn’t stop you from taking your bed and other necessities from your fathers house while they sort everything out.”
“But this is your art room.” The objection was half hearted. Having an actual room would make him feel like he belonged somewhere. He could admit to himself that he desperately wanted to belong somewhere.
She waved away his concern easily, “Most of it can fit in my room or the living room. Besides, the living room has plenty of floor space for making things.
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”