Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

“You got the part.”

For the first time ever in his life, Yeonjun’s heart sank upon hearing those words. He didn’t feel any of the endorphins or triumph that usually accompanied the phrase. Instead, he sat there numbly, overcome with horrible dread. It slowly spread over him, cold and slimy. He sighed and switched his phone from one ear to the other.

Wooyoung interpreted his silence correctly like only he could after so many years of being his manager. “C’mon, Junnie don’t be like this. This is what we wanted. This is good. A win is a win, baby.”

“I know, Woo. I know. It’s just—it’s… it’s a fucking boy—"

“Forget that. Listen to me, you need to do this.” Wooyoung’s voice shifted and took on the same intensity it did whenever Yeonjun needed a pre red-carpet pep talk. “It’ll go just like we planned. You’ll show up, film the ten episodes—which is nothing by the way—and smash it out of the fucking park so that drama will be the record breaking success everyone expects it to be. Then the world will remember what an acting powerhouse Choi Yeonjun is and once they do, they’ll forget all about the scandal and I’ll be able to get you any role you want, I promise. But we need to do this okay? It’s our only option.”

Yeonjun suppressed another sigh and swallowed, nodding mutely as if Wooyoung could see him. He had to do this. He wasn’t booking any other roles and he was only 27—entirely too young to be washed up already . He shuddered and nodded once more, flopping sideways on his couch. “Okay. You’re right. This is good.”

“That’s more like it. No more moping. Your schedule is about to start picking up so you better be ready.”

“I am.”

“Then start going to the gym again for me, yeah? ‘Cause you know I love you but I’m gonna stop sugar coating my answers when you ask me how you look now that you have a job.”

Yeonjun rolled his eyes. It wasn’t like he’d gained any weight. He’d just lost definition, that’s all. Still, now he couldn’t help but eye the fried chicken sitting eye level on his coffee table with a little bit of guilt. 

“Is the filming schedule in my email already?” He asked, avoiding the gym comment.

“Just sent.” Wooyoung let out a long breath colored heavily with relief. Yeonjun could easily picture him spinning his chair around from his desk. “Doesn’t it feel good to be busy again?”

“Yeah.” A pause. “Thanks, Woo. I know you worked hard to get me this.”

“I’m Seoul’s best manager, babe. Just thank me by killing it.”

“I will. You know I always do.”

“Mmm. I’ll see you later then. Let Yerin know too so she’s aware.”

“Yunjin .”

“I can’t keep track of who you hire. Just tell her.”

“Okay. See you—wait!” Yeonjun sat up a little too quickly but ignored the dizziness. “My co-lead! Have they cast… him yet?”

For the first time Wooyoung hesitated. He cleared his throat and took a second too long to answer. “No. But I heard they narrowed it down to two options. You have a chemistry read with them next week.”

“Do you know who they are?”

This time it was too quick of a reply. “No idea but you’ll find out soon enough. I gotta go though—lots of things to do. Don’t forget what I told you!”

Before the word “Bye” was fully out of Yeonjun’s mouth, Wooyoung had hung up, leaving him alone with his thoughts once more except this time he had a lot more to ponder than just whether or not he had room for dessert.

He ached more than anything to go and smoke a cigarette on his balcony but he didn’t have any packs left in his apartment and going to the convenience store would be admitting defeat so he just dragged himself off the couch and went on the hunt for the nicotine gum he’d bought last week.

It couldn’t have been a worse time to try and quit smoking.

-*-*-

A full week later, Yeonjun found himself at a broadcast station to work an actual schedule for the first time in nearly thirteen months. He now felt so alienated from the world he used to roam so comfortably that he had to talk himself into going in little by little. 

First, to get out of the car, then to get in the building, then to press the button on the elevator. When he came to yet another stop to take a deep breath right before rounding the corner of the hallway where the casting offices were, Yunjin sighed loudly behind him. 

“Oppa, we’re already late, why do you keep doing this?” She asked, eyebrows raised high. 

He shot her a glare. She’d only been his assistant for two weeks but the way she acted you’d think they’d known each other for years. Never had he had such a blunt assistant as her. He blamed it on the fact that she lived abroad for so many years and since he had so much difficulty hiring someone, he tried not to complain. 

“It‘s part of my process. I don’t force myself to do anything unless I’m fully ready.”

“And you don’t trust yourself to… walk down a hallway? Do we need to visit a Pediatrician instead?”

Yeonjun narrowed his eyes and opened his mouth to retort but froze when he heard some voices around the corner. 

“…would be the perfect Haewon. He is Haewon.” That was the head writer, he recognized her voice. 

“Well, it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t have any chemistry with Yeonjun,” The voice of the casting director replied. “So don’t get ahead of yourself.”

Yeonjun’s attention peaked. They were talking about his potential co-lead and there was clearly a favorite. Quickly deciding it wouldn’t hurt to know a little more about this mysterious actor, Yeonjun made a shushing motion at Yunjin and pulled her towards the wall so they would be out of sight. She frowned but complied wordlessly. 

“This is why we should’ve cast Haewon first…” the writer grumbled.

“Yeonjun aced his audition, you agreed.”

“Yeah but are you sure he’s…” her voice dropped to a hushed whisper that Yeonjun had to strain to hear, his heart pounding because he knew exactly where this was going. “…not a liability? They never did find out who—”

“Shhh. We’re not supposed to talk about it. It was in his contract and he’ll be here any minute.” There was a brief pause and then almost like the casting director couldn’t help himself— “His manager swore he was safe so I believe it. Wouldn’t he have dropped him otherwise? Besides, the scandal’s the only reason we were able to book a name like his. He was well on his way to being Korea’s darling before it all…” The casting director’s voice trailed off behind the sound of a door closing. 

Yeonjun closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. He was never going to be able to escape it. No matter how much time passed or how low he laid, people would always look at him and think of what happened . He inhaled and exhaled, counting to ten. 

After a few seconds, Yunjin tapped his arm and when he opened his eyes she looked a lot more sympathetic. “We should go now.”

Wanting to avoid her pity, he just nodded before pushing off the wall and rounding the corner. 

Inside the casting office, the writer, casting director and a few other staff greeted him, smiling like they hadn’t just been talking about him. 

“Where’s Wooyoung-ssi?” a lower ranking writer asked as Yeonjun settled on one of chairs arranged in front of a camera and handed off his stuff to Yunjin. 

“Oh he had another schedule but he said hello,” Yeonjun replied. That was a bold-faced lie but Wooyoung charmed everyone he met and Yeonjun had learned long ago to feed into it. People being made to feel special by Wooyoung always played back into Yeonjun’s favor anyways.

“Tell him we say hello too!” The writer smiled warmly from the other side of the camera. Yeonjun forced out a polite one back before looking expectantly around the room. 

Moments later there was a knock at the door and in walked a short, stocky brunette guy. Haewon option one, clearly. While he introduced himself to everyone (Sihyun), Yeonjun analyzed silently. Pretty plain face which was unrecognizable so he hadn’t been in anything significant. Definitely shorter than him which was a bit of a tragedy. The only thing he’d been looking forward to about this was finally acting with someone taller than him.

He pushed the thought aside as the guy took a seat in the chair next to him.

“Hi sunbaenim. I’m a huge fan. I loved you in ‘Fight or Flight. It's like my favorite drama.” he whispered reverently.

Fight or Flight? Yeonjun frowned. “You mean ‘Fight or Escape’?” 

The guy’s cheeks flushed but he was saved from answering by the casting director.

“Right, let’s get started then,” He called from the long table everyone else was sitting around. “We’re reading the scene that happens after Haewon—” he gestured towards Sihyun— “finally finds out Jaeyoung—” this time Yeonjun— “is dating Hyemin. You both know your lines?” They nodded. “Then, action!”

They started the scene and it was immediately apparent to Yeonjun that this wasn’t going to work. Sihyun was too stiff and cold. He acted as if he was reading the lines off a teleprompter, no flexibility whatsoever. If this was the guy the writer was so convinced was the perfect fit for Haewon, then his future and the one of this drama was grim. No one would hire him afterwards regardless of how good his acting was. Having a bad acting partner was like wearing bad cologne to a party. No matter how good you looked, people would have a hard time getting over the smell.

“Cut!” The casting director didn’t look so thrilled either. “Thanks Sihyun. We’ll let you know in a few days, okay? You can see yourself out.”

Sihyun nodded and stood up, bowing to the room all around. Yeonjun ducked into a bow in return before gesturing for Yunjin. She rounded the table and held out a water bottle. Yeonjun accepted it and raised his eyebrows. She grimaced back at him, scrunching her nose and shaking her head. Okay, so it wasn’t just him that thought that went horribly. Yeonjun raised the water bottle to his lips and hoped the next guy was better.

“Ah Soobin, you’re here. Perfect.”

Yeonjun peeked around Yunjin and nearly choked on his water. His eyes skated over the height, the good looks, and even the dimples, and fixated immediately on the pastel blue hair gleaming underneath the stark office lighting. A hair color so unnatural could only mean one thing… This guy had to be an idol. A real living, k-pop idol. Distaste curled at the pit of his stomach, the way it always did whenever he caught sight of a looping music video in a store window or a birthday ad on the side of the road.

But he only had two seconds to school his face before Yunjin was slipping the water bottle out of his hands and Soobin was taking the seat Sihyun had vacated, bowing and smiling shyly at him. Yeonjun returned the greeting half-heartedly, still processing his shock.

Out of all the people he had to potentially work with, why did it have to be a fucking idol? And out of all the actors in the country for this idol to get paired with, why did it have to be the one who hated idols? The universe definitely had a sense of humor. 

“You guys ready?”

Yeonjun blinked. He missed the intro spiel the director gave but he nodded mutely, pushing his feelings aside and summoning everything he had read about Jaeyoung the past week. He had to focus. 

“Action!”

Yeonjun took a deep breath and then held out his arm in front of him like he was driving. This scene was meant to be in a car. He cut Soobin an annoyed look, which was easy enough. “What’s wrong with you? Why were you acting like that? Do you know how excited Hyemin was to see you again?”

Soobin sighed and looked off in the opposite direction. His shoulders tensed and his fingers started tapping against his leg anxiously. Just from these small movements Yeonjun had to begrudgingly admit that it was obvious his acting was leagues better than Sihyun’s. 

There was no reply and after a beat, Yeonjun sighed as well. “Haewon-ah.”

At this, Soobin’s fingers stilled but he didn’t look over. “What? I wasn’t acting weird,” he said, sounding strained. “It was good to see her too.”

“You were! It’s like when she showed up you shut down or something… I thought it’d be like old times. You know, the three of us finally together again.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Soobin said abruptly, moving his arms closer to himself, practically hugging his middle.

He was ad libbing. This wasn’t in the script. Though he didn’t show it, Yeonjun couldn’t help but be surprised. Internally, he grinned. Bring it. Externally, he frowned. “Tell you what?”

Soobin let out a small scoff. “You know. That you’re dating.”

“It’s not a big deal. It just didn’t come up.”

Finally, Soobin looked over at him. Yeonjun kept his eyes straight ahead so he couldn’t quite make out his expression but he could feel his gaze boring into him with a strangely palpable intensity.

“And you didn’t think there was any reason I should know?” Soobin asked quietly.

Yeonjun bit his lip and looked back at him for the first time the whole scene. Their eyes locked and the first thought Yeonjun had was that this guy was beautiful. It was more than just basic good looks, too. His face was just— he blinked, remembering it was his line.

Switching the hand he was “driving” with, he looked back to the front. “Well, if you’ve had a crush on Hyemin all this time you should have told me as soon as you came back,” he joked, thinking that’s what Jaeyoung would do to diffuse the situation and deflect. “We could’ve fought it out for her honor. Joseon style with swords and all.”

Soobin let the silence strech out, which Yeonjun thought was a smart move considering the story, until finally he looked back to the “window.”

“Things are never gonna be like old times,” he said, bringing it back to the script. “We’re not kids anymore.”

“Does that mean we’re completely different people though? We’re still us.”

“I don’t know.”

“Cut!” The casting director’s voice rang over the room. It was jarring to be pulled out of the scene so abruptly, which was a good sign, because it meant that the acting had been going exceptionally well. 

“That was amazing guys,” the head writer said, standing up eagerly, her face positively beaming. “Really—you were incredible.”

As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Yeonjun had to recognize that this idol could act. This had to be the writer’s favorite. And if the trainwreck that had been reading with Sihyun was anything to go by, the part was probably his. 

Yeonjun clenched his jaw and endured a few more minutes of chatter from everyone until he could finally escape, giving the room a general goodbye, not sparing Soobin a second glance.

As soon as he was in the hallway, he fished his phone out of his bag and dialed his first favorited contact.

“Hello?”

“You’re a bitch.” he huffed, glancing at Yunjin and gesturing towards the bathroom ahead. She nodded, straying off to a bench nearby. 

Wooyoung laughed. “Done with the chemi-read then?”

“Yes. And you lied to me.”

“I never lie to you. I just occasionally withhold information.”

Yeonjun rolled his eyes as he entered the bathroom and made towards the last urinal in the row. Once he reached it, he cradled the phone against his ear with his shoulder and began unbuckling his belt. “So did you know the writer had a favorite? And that that favorite was an idol?”

“I had an inkling. But I didn’t wanna give you any preconceived notions. I don’t know if you know this, but you can be a bit judgy. It’s a character flaw of yours. You’re lucky I tolerate it.”

“Ha. You’re one to talk. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you not give your opinion.”

“At least my opinions aren’t—” Wooyoung stopped talking when a tinkling noise filled the bathroom, ricocheting loudly off the tiles. He groaned. “Eww. Are you peeing right now? You’re so disgusting, Jun, you couldn’t wait three more minutes to call me?”

Yeonjun ignored him. “This is why you didn’t come with us, isn’t it? You knew I’d get annoyed.”

Wooyoung chuckled and there was rustling of papers. “Oh c’mon. Don’t overestimate your own importance. We don’t wanna add conceited to that list of character flaws. I really did have a meeting. Plus one of the writers clearly has a thing for me, I wouldn’t have passed up on some flirting.”

“Yeah she says hello,” Yeonjun mumbled as he finished relieving himself. He really shouldn’t have drank those three coffees. “Anyways, the other actor was total shit so the idol will probably get the part.” He tucked himself back in his pants, pulled up his zipper and did his button. “As if it wasn’t bad enough I’m doing a boy love, now my co-lead will be some idol playing at being an actor. What a joke.” Tugging his belt through the buckle, he laughed humorlessly. “I mean you should’ve seen his hair! I nearly went blind. I just hope to god it’s a less annoying color for filming. Ugh, Woo how am I supposed to do this? You know I fucking hate idols.”

He adjusted his pants one last time and turned around, ready to continue his tirade of complaining when he locked eyes with someone and he froze, feeling like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over him.

Standing halfway between the door and the urinals was none other than Soobin, the very idol that Yeonjun had just been bitching about. It was instantly clear from his hardened expression that he had heard some, if not all, of what Yeonjun had just said. White hot shame licked its way up his body, rooting him to the spot as his cheeks flushed, a tell tale sign of guilt.

“You’ll be fine, stop whinnying,” Wooyoung’s voice continued in his ear, bored and unaware. Yeonjun barely took in a single word he said. “What you really need to do is stop letting something that happened nearly 10 years ago get to you so much. It’s time to let it go.”

Soobin didn’t break eye contact, his gaze cold and steely. Detached in a way so different from the shy smile he had greeted him with. He opened his mouth and for a horrifying second Yeonjun thought he might actually confront him about what he had just said, but before he could even begin to come up with some kind of excuse or explanation, Soobin snapped it mouth shut instead, set his jaw, and jerked into a sort of stiff bow before blowing past him towards a urinal.

Yeonjun closed his eyes painfully, cringing to himself before deciding this was the best possible outcome and hurrying to the sinks. He washed his hands as fast as humanly possible to not seem like an even more of a disgusting piece of shit and then practically ran out of the bathroom.

“Hello? Yeonjun-ah? Are you there?”

Yeonjun groaned once he was out, grabbing hold of the phone properly. “He walked in. The idol. I gotta get out of here before I run into him again. I’ll call you later.”

-*-*-

That night, Yeonjun couldn’t sleep. He laid awake in his too large bed and tried to lull himself to sleep by looking around his room but he had no luck, though there wasn’t much to look at in the first place. His bedroom, like the rest of his apartment, was sparsely decorated. It was a brand-new modern building nestled in Gangnam with a beautiful view of the city like he’d always dreamed of when he was little; yet sometimes it felt more like a stranger's home than his own. What little decor there was hanging up on the walls and pristinely displayed as centerpieces was the same that had been in place when he first toured the apartment. He’d bought it furnished.

It wasn’t like he didn’t have an opinion or specific taste in home decor—he could spend hours binging celebrity home tours in Architectural Digest and providing his own commentary—but he was just afraid of messing things up. His mom had said the place looked perfect when she’d first seen it, that it actually looked like a celebrity’s home, and he wasn’t sure she would say the same if he tried to decorate it. 

When he got bored of looking at the same black and white abstract painting that probably also hung in a dozen corporate offices, he sighed and rolled over to pick up his phone. There was no use in pretending. Squinting at the bright light for a second, he let his eyes adjust before he clicked into Naver.

Yeonjun tapped the search bar so that the keyboard slid up on the bottom of his screen. His thumbs hovered over the characters, hesitating. The more he thought about it, the more his cheeks warmed with some residual shame and he couldn’t help but burrow further into his covers, as if someone was gonna look over at his screen.

Then, swallowing the last of his pride, he tried to recall what the idol’s last name had been. He’d said it when he introduced himself but Yeonjun hadn’t been paying much attention due to his shock. It shouldn’t be that hard to guess though. He definitely looked Korean and that proved a great starting point.

Kim Soobin, nope. Lee Soobin, wrong. Park Soobin, also nothing. Maybe… Choi Soobin — and there he was.

Yeonjun rolled over once more, slipping a plushy he’d gotten at his last fan meet between his arms and studied the details in the profile box at the very top of the search results. Born December 5, 2000. So he was a whole four years younger. Interesting. Yeonjun hadn’t thought he looked that much younger.

He scrolled a little further and clicked on the first link. The picture that filled the screen was Soobin with blond hair in a leather jacket and dark make-up. The way he was looking up at the camera from under his eyelashes was something straight out of teenage Yeonjun’s wet dreams. Truthfully, if they had met in any other situation, Yeonjun would've readily admitted that this Choi Soobin was not only hot but exactly his type. If he’d been another actor he noticed at an award show, Yeonjun would have put in the work to find out through the grapevine whether or not he was gay and willing. 

Ripping his eyes from the picture, Yeonjun read the little blurb below it. Soobin is the oldest member of 4-member boy group Together Tomorrow under One Dream Entertainment. He is the leader, center, and main vocalist. Yeonjun made a face. Together Tomorrow? Corny.

After a few more minutes of cyber-stalking, Yeonjun realized that Together Tomorrow was not exactly successful. Far from it in fact. They had under ten thousand followers on twitter and even less on instagram—in fact Yeonjun’s instagram alone had more than double the followers of all of their social media accounts combined. Their Youtube channel only had 22,890 subscribers with their videos barely getting a couple thousand views each. In the thumbnails of the videos, Yeonjun recognized Soobin smiling alongside three other guys. And though he was curious to know what their music sounded like, Yeonjun couldn’t bring himself to click on any of their videos. Their low view count made it feel too much like he was intruding on something personal, like he would be watching someone’s home video without them knowing. 

It seemed crazy to him that Choi Soobin was part of such a nugu group. He looked like the kind of person who already was somebody when you looked at him. Besides, with looks like those—you would have expected a big three company to have snatched him right up.

Eventually Yeonjun couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore so he clicked his phone off and finally began to drift off, a mix of pity, annoyance, guilt and attraction turning over and over in his mind.

-*-*-

Shifting in his seat, Yeonjun tried to stretch his legs as much as possible. Hour two of four and even the front seat was starting to feel cramped. He was starting to regret bringing his bag up to the front with him but Yunjin had told him to leave it in the backseat with her and he’d argued against it so he didn’t wanna pass it back over.

Instead, he swiped further down on the trending tab of Naver and tried to stamp down the unpleasant feeling rising up like bile every time his eyes took in a new headline. They were all the same:

Drama Adaptation of Record Breaking Webtoon ‘Red Strings’ Begins Production.

Full Cast of The First Korean Netflix Boy Love Drama Announced.

Rookie Idol Choi Soobin Casted as ‘Moon Haewon’ In Highly Anticipated Boy Love Drama ‘Red Strings.’

Choi Yeonjun to Star in First Ever Boy Love Drama.

Once upon a time, Yeonjun obsessed over the press for any of his projects, reading every single article he could find but now he couldn’t even make past the headlines. He’d tried that morning and stopped immediately when he realized every single article contained some variation of the same sentence. This is Choi Yeonjun’s first drama since the cancellation of KBS’ Puma due to ongoing criminal investigations. And of course, they all had a link to one of the many, many, think pieces that had been written about the scandal. As if enough hadn’t been said already.

“I still think you should apologize,” Wooyoung said suddenly, glancing over at him from the driver’s seat.

Yeonjun rolled his eyes and turned his phone off with a little too much aggression. Behind him, Yunjin sighed. This was Wooyoung’s second attempt at this conversation and it was clear he was not giving up. Normally Yeonjun would find a way to run away but since they were trapped on a four hour car ride down to Busan, he had nowhere to go.

Not for the first time, he cursed this drama for having to do part of the filming so far away. 

Acting a bit like a petulant child, he leaned forward to turn up the music playing over the stereo. They were on their second Frank Ocean album and if Wooyoung kept this up, Yeonjun was gonna put on Justin Bieber out of spite.

“Woo,” he huffed. “I told you I don’t even know what I would apologize for—I have no idea what he heard.”

Wooyoung reached over to lower the volume back down. “Fine. But you could still go up to him. Just say that you hope he doesn’t misunderstand anything and that you’re excited to work with him.”

“I’m not though.”

“And are you not a freaking actor? Just pretend.”

“But why though?” Yeonjun whined, resisting the urge to kick his feet and stomp.

From the backseat, Yunjin clicked her tongue and pushed her sunglasses up into her hair, leaning forward into the space between their seats with the air of someone who had no choice but to get involved even though no one had addressed her. “Listen,” she said in English, her American accent shining through. “Wooyoung-nim has a point. You don’t wanna get off on the wrong foot, you’ll be seeing a lot of this guy the next two months.”

Wooyoung wrinkled his nose, glancing out his side-mirror to change lanes. “Yunjin-ssi, I told you it makes me feel really old when you speak so formally to me. I’m only five years older than this guy.”

“Just because he speaks informally, doesn’t mean I will. I have manners.”

Yeonjun had never really called Wooyoung “hyung.” At this point, he sometimes forgot they weren’t the same age.

“At least drop the ‘nim.’”

“Are you asking me to call you ‘oppa’?” Yunjin said with a skeptical look. “That’s kinda creepy uncle vibes.”

“This ahjussi failed English,” Yeonjun cut in, settling back in his seat and putting on his sunglasses. “He won’t know what that means.”

“Creepy samchon energy.”

“I know what uncle means!” Wooyoung shoved Yeonjun’s arm. Then, he glanced over his shoulder and gave Yunjin a look much like a tired parent forced to give in. “Fine, call me whatever you want. All I’m saying is you don’t have to be so formal.” He looked back to the front, flicking Yeonjun’s arm once more. “And you. Don’t try to change the subject. You need to go up to Soobin and say something. He’s in the industry too, be a good sunbaenim for once in your life.”

Yeonjun scooted closer to the window, out of the reach of Wooyoung’s gangly arms. Outside, the countryside of Korea was streaming past like a handful of colored ribbons blowing in the wind. Bright summer sunlight shone in through the window in intermittent bursts as the sun bobbed in and out from behind clouds, warming Yeonjun’s face and lap. The beautiful landscape was only blemished by a smudge of bird poop on the car’s window.

“His group is nobody, you know,” Yeonjun said, reaching up to scratch a nail where the poop was even though it was stuck on the outside. “I googled him. They’re as nugu as it gets. I think even Yunjin has more instagram followers than them.”

“And?”

“I don’t know. I just—” Yeonjun let his hand drop into his lap. “I don’t like him.”

“For being a nobody?” Wooyoung snorted. “C’mon, you’re not that much of an asshole.”

He’d like to think he wasn’t, but Yeonjun felt it was easiest to hate Choi Soobin—even if it was for no reason at all. 

They entered a tunnel and the car went dark right as the song playing in the background changed to Frank Ocean’s “Channel.” Yeonjun exhaled loudly and dropped his head against the glass. 

“Fine. I’ll try and say something.”

“Good.”

Frank Ocean’s voice took over their small van as the fluorescent yellow dimness swelled around them. The tunnel seemed to go on forever even as Wooyoung rounded a bend. The taillights of the cars ahead of them glowed red like eerie butterflies. 

Yeonjun was absent mindedly picking at the nicotine patch on his arm when he suddenly remembered something. “Oh shit,” he exclaimed. “I think I left my pouch of toiletries on the sink. I forgot to go back for them.”

“They’re in my bag,” Yunjin’s voice drifted over, unphased. “I did an extra sweep before we left.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. “Ok thank god.”

“Oh but by the way, your mom called me.” 

Yeonjun jolted up and whipped around to stare at her. Yunjin, who had her eyes closed and was leaning her head against a dinosaur pillow pet, didn’t seem as bothered. “She told me to tell you to stop avoiding her calls and call her.”

Wooyoung’s eyebrows shot up. The car slowed as they approached some traffic near the exit of the tunnel. Sunlight poured in from the distance. “Choi Yeonjun, the model son, dodging his mother’s calls?”

Yeonjun let out a low groan and slid so far down on his seat his knees smushed against the dashboard. He threaded his fingers through his hair and pulled. “Fuck off. I just haven’t told her about the fucking drama,” he mumbled. 

If his mom was resorting to calling his assistant, her patience was wearing out. He had stopped calling her as much after the scandal, when her concern and righteous anger got too stifling; and then when he got casted for this drama, he stopped calling all together. 

“Ah…” Wooyoung winced his head sympathetically. He knew all too well what his mom was like. “But you should still call her and explain. I know she doesn't keep up with the news much so better you tell her than anyone else.”

The last thing Yeonjun wanted to do was explain to his mother that the new role he booked after months of nothing was for a gay love story but Wooyoung was right. It would be worse if she heard it from somewhere else instead of him. That was, if she hadn’t already. 

Between traffic and pit stops they didn’t arrive at Busan until the late evening. The hotel they were staying at was hosting all of the drama’s staff and other cast but everyone had arrived at different times so they didn’t encounter anybody in the lobby. It suited Yeonjun better anyway, that way he could pretend he was there for vacation for at least one more night. Production didn’t officially begin until tomorrow and he wasn’t going to force himself to think about it until then.

His hotel room was nice, modern and clean, a large white bed in the middle of a spotless interior. Ironically, it reminded him of his apartment back in Seoul. Once he had settled in and changed into sweats and a t-shirt, he entertained calling his mom for exactly two minutes before deciding it was probably too late and she might already be asleep. Instead, Yeonjun ordered delivery and when it arrived he made his way down to the lobby eagerly, hoping that this order of noodles could somehow be the cure to filial guilt.

In the lobby, the delivery guy was handing an order to a tall brunette guy. Yeonjun walked up behind them and flashed his phone screen. “Hi, Choi Yeonjun?”

The delivery guy nodded, taking another bagged box from his thermal bag. “Here you go,” he said, side stepping the guy and handing it to him.

“Thanks.” Yeonjun bobbed his head and then turned to follow the brunette back to the elevators. The smell of the food was delicious, he couldn’t wait to get back to his room and devour it. Wooyoung would have gotten mad at him for eating so late but what he didn’t know didn’t hurt him.

Ding! The elevator doors opened, and the guy in front of him stepped inside. Yeonjun made to do so as well but when the brunette turned to face forward, Yeonjun froze with one foot in the elevator like an idiot.

It was Soobin. Soobin with a head full of dark inky hair that fell into his face in soft waves and a pair of clear rimmed glasses. He raised his eyebrows at Yeonjun inquisitively when he didn’t move. “Are you coming in, sunbaenim?”

They had to stop meeting like this, when Yeonjun wasn’t prepared. If this boy kept taking him by surprise every time, Yeonjun would keep ending up looking like a fucking idiot. He tightened his grip on his bag and nodded, fully stepping in and turning around to stand shoulder to shoulder with him. Soobin was a few inches taller than him and from this close, Yeonjun could smell something powdery and clean. He had probably just showered.

Soobin reached forward to select a floor. He glanced over and tilted his head, his hand hovering over the buttons.

“I’m on the same floor,” Yeonjun said.

Soobin nodded silently and dropped his hand. His entire posture and demeanor was tense, guarded as if Yeonjun might start insulting him right then and there.

The doors closed and the silence was stifling.

Be a good sunbaenim for once in your life, Wooyoung’s annoying voice grated in Yeonjun’s mind.

The first script reading was tomorrow. If Soobin remained this stiff and uncomfortable, it would be miserable for everybody. Yeonjun closed his eyes, silently counted to five and then opened them, turning to face him.

“Uh, Soobin… ssi?”

Soobin looked over at him. Black hair really made his features more prominent. His mouth set in a firm line.

“I just wanted to say that… I hope you don’t misunderstand anything,” Yeonjun forced out. He could feel the back of his neck start to warm. “And that I’m excited to work with you.” He cleared his throat and nodded awkwardly.

God, why did he feel like such a loser? He’d never felt this way around a junior before. Confidence was never a problem for him, not even at award shows where he rubbed shoulders with celebrities who were referred to as “legendary.”

The seconds ticked by and the only response Soobin gave was pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. He searched Yeonjun’s face, who refused to cave and look away. He stared right back, trying to ignore the way the elevator light illuminated the smooth pale planes of Soobin’s face and the way he itched to reach over and brush away the strand of hair falling in his eyes.

“I’m not sure what there is to misunderstand,” Soobin replied at last, taking Yeonjun by surprise. Was he gonna pretend it didn’t happen? Soobin’ eyes flicked over him before he looked away and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it all back and exposing his forehead. “I’m excited to work with you too.”

The elevator came to a stop with another ding, the doors opening to their floor.

“I just hope that you find my hair color a lot more bearable now, sunbaenim.” Soobin added and Yeonjun caught a glance of an amused look before Soobin stepped off the elevator and turned down the hallway.

Yeonjun grit his teeth and stepped off as well, turning into the opposite direction. So much for apologizing. I need this drama, I need this drama, he repeated to himself like a mantra.

-*-*-

“Who is that?”

Wooyoung spoke with such interest it was enough to get Yeonjun to look up from his bowl of fruit and self pity and follow his gaze. He was staring across the hotel cafe at a guy waiting in line for the register.

The guy wasn’t that tall but he had broad shoulders and short cropped hair that accentuated the angularity of his features. He was handsome in a very masculine kind of way. Not really Yeonjun’s type though, he liked his men a little taller and prettier.

“Pass,” he yawned, poking at a piece of pineapple tiredly. The coffee he drank had not kicked in yet and he was starting to debate if getting a second one would make him too wired for a day full of dealing with brand new people.

“Not for you, you asshole,” Wooyoung chided, kicking his calf under the table. “For me. He looks a little gay, doesn’t he?”

Yeonjun side-eyed him. “I though you were gonna try and get with the writer girl.”

“Only if I got bored. Babysitting you here for two weeks is only gonna keep so busy. This guy is hot though.” Wooyoung settled back against his chair and spread his legs a little, lowering his chin to continue to stare over his coffee cup. Yeonjun recognized his “look at me” pose and rolled his eyes. “I wonder if he’s a guest or a staff for the drama. He doesn’t give me actor vibes.”

No, he was standing much too awkwardly to be any kind of entertainer. Yeonjun popped the piece of pineapple in his mouth and took in the stranger as he chewed. He studied his shoes and his hair and the way he scrolled on his phone with one hand. “Likely gay.” He swallowed the pineapple. “Go for it.”

As soon as the words were out of Yeonjun’s mouth, the mysterious-probably-gay stranger looked over at them, except his eyes slid right over Yeonjun and locked onto Wooyoung. They stared at each other until the stranger was forced to look away due to the line moving. 

Wooyoung smirked and ran a hand through his hair. “Got him. Totally gay.”

Yeonjun stabbed a piece of melon this time. “Go get in line and do your thing then. You can get me another coffee while you’re at it.”

Wooyoung was already halfway out of seat. “Mm.” He pocketed his wallet and swept his eyes over their small table. When his eyes landed on Yeonjun, you could practically see him shift out of flirt mode and into manager mode briefly as he narrowed his eyes. “Shouldn’t you be heading to the conference room? Go and greet everyone, I'll bring you your coffee there.”

The moment Yeonjun wanted to delay as long as possible was now unavoidable. When he got up and walked to the conference room to begin the script reading, he would be sealing his fate with this drama. It wouldn’t feel official until then, not even if he had already auditioned, had a call back, or signed a contract. 

Wooyoung took in his face and frowned, shifting once more, out of manager mode and into friend mode this time. He leaned down and brushed a hand through Yeonjun’s hair. “Stop freaking out, Junnie. This is only a career ender if you make it out to be. So don’t.”

Yeonjun felt some of his anxieties ease so he pulled his head away to hide his face and the emotion he was sure to be showing on it. “I’m not. Now go before he looks over and thinks we’re gay for each other.”

“It’s okay. I like my men competitive.” Wooyoung winked before straightening up once more, pinching his cheek, and then turning to walk across the cafe.

Yeonjun watched him go and then took a deep breath, trying to remember every bit of motivational bullshit he had ever read or heard as he stood and made to leave.

The conference room was already teeming with people when Yeonjun slipped inside. Four long tables were arranged in an o-shape at the center of the room while extra chairs lined the walls. Lively chatter filled the room as people greeted each other and settled into their seats, most of them holding coffee cups and stacks of paper.

Yeonjun stood unnoticed at the edge of it all and ached for a second. In spite of everything that had happened, he had missed this. He’d missed the excitement and energy that came from a group of people that were on the cusp of making something new—something wonderful. A group of people who like him, knew that what they did was as close to magic as one could get. He‘d missed this feeling even more because at one point, he had thought he might never get to feel it again.

“Yeonjun-ssi!” 

The director of the drama noticed him, breaking away from a conversation with the head producer to walk over to him. He was a slightly overweight and balding man, not extremely known. Most of his resume consisted of small web dramas and most famously, one other netflix teen drama—which had been the opening for him landing this one. “Good morning! How are you feeling?”

“Good morning,” Yeonjun ducked into a bow. “I’m ready to get started.”

“Ah, of course. And you haven’t met everyone right? It’s the first time the whole cast has gathered!”

“No, I haven’t,” he murmured, looking around the room. The director was notoriously chatty and Yeonjun did not wanna get caught up in a conversation with him. He cleared his throat. “But I should go find my seat. My assistant has my script and I’m sure she’ll be looking for me.”

“Right, right, go ahead.”

Yeonjun gave him another bow and then stepped around him, heading towards the center table, which was the emptiest. He scanned the paper signs at each seat until half-way down he finally saw it:

Song Jaeyoung

Choi Yeonjun

A small water bottle and some pens were in front of it. Yeonjun had just started to pull his chair out when a girl arrived one seat down to his left. It was the actress playing Hyemin, his and Soobin’s childhood best friend who later becomes Yeonjun’s girlfriend.

Her name was Kim Chaewon. She was a second generation actress that Yeonjun vaguely knew. He’d heard of her even before her auditions and chemistry reads but she had yet to land a lead break out role. Clearly, she was still trying. 

“Good morning, sunbaenim.” She smiled politely as she took her seat, dropping her script on the table with a small thud. 

He nodded at her and sat down. “Morning. How are you?”

“Good. We got in early yesterday so we had plenty of time to rest,” she said cheerfully, arranging her pens. “What about you?”

“Well we—”

“Yeonjun-oppa!”

Yeonjun looked up and spotted Yunjin weaving her way towards him, her arms full. Perfect timing. They were getting close to start time. Though he clearly wasn’t the only one running late judging by the empty seat on his right. He glanced back at Chaewon. “Excuse me, my assistant is looking for me.”

She nodded and returned to flipping through her script. 

Yunjin reached him as he took a few steps away from the table and towards her. She shoved the thick script into his arms unceremoniously. “Here you go. This is your annotated copy. Do you want a fresh one? I have another in my bag.”

“No, this is fine, thanks.” Yeonjun blinked down at the title page of the script and his stomach turned over.

“Hey,” Yunjin got his attention, tapping on his arm. “Where’s Wooyoung-nim? I wanted to ask you guys what you were thinking for lunch. I heard they’re catering and it might be some kind of curry but I can go pick us up something else. There’s a couple restaurants down the road.”

“Oh, curry sounds fine. Wooyoung was at the cafe with me but—”

Almost as if summoned, Wooyoung walked up behind Yunjin carrying three drinks on a carton tray. He had the biggest grin on his face. “Guys, I have news. You will not believe who that guy was,” he whispered, handing out the coffees to each of them. 

Yeonjun struggled to balance the heavy script and the cup Wooyoung put in his hand while Yunjin, a self-proclaimed gossip lover, leaned in eagerly. “What? Who? What guy?”

“There was this hot guy at the cafe so I went up to him and it turns out he's a manager too but—” he laughed, for some reason looking straight at Yeonjun. “When I heard who he manages I thought it was so ironic but you know I do love a good parallel.”

“Oh my god, spit out,” Yeonjun said tiredly. 

“Excuse me, could I get to my seat?” said a voice behind them. 

Their trio broke apart to find Soobin waiting behind them. Wooyoung turned his smile towards him. “Oh! Yes, sorry. C’mon, Yunjin-ssi we should go sit down too.” With that, he grabbed her arm and pulled her away. As they headed towards the chairs against the wall, they put their heads together, talking in hushed but eager tones. 

Soobin and Yeonjun were left facing each other. The air between them felt strangely charged until Soobin stifled a small laugh and looked away, covering his mouth with his hand. Yeonjun narrowed his eyes. If Soobin was laughing about their awkward encounter last night, Yeonjun was not going to give him the satisfaction by acting embarrassed. 

He was an actor after all, and no one made confidence a personality trait quite like him. 

When Soobin looked back at him, Yeonjun raised his eyebrows and took a sip of the coffee he was holding, letting his eyes trail slowly and deliberately down Soobin’s body. He took in his unstyled hair and the plain t-shirt he had on, tracing with his eyes down to where it was tucked into a pair of brown slacks, accentuating the smallness of his waist. Yeonjun didn’t even have to pretend to be interested in checking him out, he was in fact very nice to look at. Too bad he was an idol. Yeonjun’s eyes flickered back to Soobin’s face. The amusement had vanished, replaced by something that colored the tips of his ears a little pink.

Bingo. Yeonjun’s smirked. “I like your hair.”

Soobin let out an awkward cross between a laugh and a scoff and looked off to the side, clearly trying to mask his abashedness. “Bearable then?”

“Hm. Tolerable.”

Though It looked like Soobin might say something back, he just bit his lip and nodded before walking over to his seat. Yeonjun followed, trying not to look too pleased with himself as Soobin greeted Chaewon.

He had no idea exactly what either of them was trying to accomplish but it was fun. And Yeonjun didn’t lose, not even when he didn’t know the rules of the game.

While Yeonjun flipped through his script and the rest of the seats in the room filled, Soobin talked eagerly with Chaewon, all smiles and politeness. It sounded like mindless small talk so Yeonjun didn’t bother to engage but as he heard snippets of their conversation, he realized two things.

The first was that though he was about to pretend to have a lifelong-destined-one-of-a-kind-repressed-until-not kind of love for Soobin, he had never had a proper conversation with the guy—just painfully awkward encounters. The second was that in those encounters, Soobin seemed like a completely different person than one gushing to Chaewon about how excited he was to have the opportunity to work on this project. 

It only took a few more minutes for the doors to the room to finally close and then things got started. The director stood and addressed the group. 

“Welcome everyone! I’m glad we’re all finally here to get things started. So without further ado, why don’t we have the principal cast go around and introduce themselves.”

There were cameras filming as a sort of behind the scenes thing so as each actor stood and introduced themselves and their role, a camera focused on them individually. The cast itself wasn’t that numerous, as most of the storyline focused around Yeonjun’s, Soobin’s, and Chaewon’s characters.

It was meant to be a cute classic romance story. Yeonjun hadn’t read the webtoon but he’d heard from others that the screenplay did it justice. Essentially, Jaeyoung (his character) and Haewon (Soobin’s character)  had been childhood best friends, forming a close knit trio with Hyemin (Chaewon’s character). The three of them had been inseparable until they’d gotten older and Hyemin started at an all girl’s high school. Now spending more time alone together, something more than friendship started to blossom between Jaeyoung and Haewon.

Yet only days after their first awkward and shy kiss—before they could properly figure things out—Haewon’s family announced their plan to move abroad and just like that, they were forced to nip in the bud anything that might have blossomed. Years later, Haewon moved back to Korea as a college student. By some stroke of luck he ends up in the same uni as Jaeyoung and they reconnect—except Jaeyoung is now dating Hyemin. But of course, that doesn’t stop old feelings from coming back.

Personally, Yeonjun thought the story a bit cliché but for some reason the webtoon had skyrocketed in popularity, becoming one of the most read ever, breaking records outside the boy love category as well. But it wasn’t like Yeonjun’s opinion mattered anyways, as long as this drama was supposed to be his ticket to getting his career back.

The table read went well enough—Yeonjun had already run through most of his lines with Wooyoung or Yunjin over the past week so he felt plenty prepared. The only conscious effort he had to put in was his voice switch for any of the (many) flashback scenes. Even the individual scenes with Soobin were easy enough, almost natural in fact.

Four hours later they finally broke for lunch and Yeonjun found Wooyoung and Yunjin amidst the crowd that slowly migrated towards the catering table in the back. He stretched languidly when he reached them. “How was it?”

Wooyoung nodded. “Good. You and Soobin bounce off each other so well, it’s crazy.” Yeonjun rolled his eyes but didn’t argue. Wooyoung pulled him by the arm so they were in the line for food. “The story’s pretty interesting too—like hearing it in order like that.”

“Half-way through episode two I started tuning you guys out and looked up the webtoon instead,” Yunjin said. “That’s how good it is.”

Yeonjun snorted. “Yeah?”

“Mhm. Did you know you actually look a wild amount like Jaeyoung in the webtoon? Same sort of face.”

Yeonjun tried to recall the few times he had seen the webtoon drawings but it was hard to visualize them exactly. Jaeyoung must have been handsome too. “And Soobin?” he asked as they inched closer to the table. He could smell the food now.

“Oh he’s way better looking. He gave Haewon a major upgrade.”

Her words sunk in. Yeonjun squinted at her. “Hang on… are you saying I’m not better looking than a cartoon but he is?”

Yunjin giggled to herself and refused to give an answer all the way until they reached the front of the line when Yeonjun was forced to drop it. As he laddled his plate with some meat and veggies, he remembered the interrupted conversation with Wooyoung in the morning. “Hey,” he said, getting his attention. “What happened with the cafe guy? You didn’t finish telling me.”

They shifted further along the table and Wooyoung grinned. He grabbed a container of side dishes before answering. “Funny you should ask, I was thinking of finding him so we can eat lunch together.”

“Oh, when?”

“Today.”

“What, here?” Yeonjun wrinkled his nose. It wasn’t like he was some kind of stickler for professionalism or something—Wooyoung was way more than just his manager—but sitting down for lunch with a guy you were interested in for the first time while at “work” seemed a bit odd. 

Wooyoung grabbed a pair of chopsticks and then picked up his tray. “Yeah. Relax, it’s not weird.” He chuckled to himself. “You can get to know his client too.”

“What?” Yeonjun followed him towards the adjoining room where a bunch of smaller tables and chairs had been set up. Yunjin trailed two steps after him. “No thanks. I’d rather not wingman someone I’ll be working with for the next two months.” He looked over his shoulder. “Yunjin-ah, c’mon let’s just go sit somewhere else then.”

“Actually I think it’d be nice.”

Yeonjun gave her a look of disbelief and then turned to continue arguing with Wooyoung but he had already come to a stop in front of a table not far from the entrance. 

“Oh San-ssi! Can we join you?”

This time, it was Soobin who was caught off guard. He was sitting beside the hot cafe guy—San apparently—and when he looked up at all of them, he froze with a piece of meat halfway to his mouth. He tried to recuperate after a beat but it slipped out of his chopsticks and landed back on his plate, splattering the red sauce all over his hands.

Yeonjun stifled a smirk as Wooyoung introduced them. He bowed to San politely enough but couldn’t help but feel the same way he did when he was a teen and his mom dragged him around to meet cousins who were practically strangers at family events.

He had no out either, as Wooyoung and Yunjin were already taking a seat. It would be weird now if he walked away by himself. Sighing, he sunk down into the empty seat between them.

Wooyoung engaged San in conversation almost instantly and Yeonjun didn’t wanna be a distraction so he forced himself to look away in the other direction while he unwrapped his chopsticks.

“Soobin-ssi, you did great today,” Yunjin was saying.

“Oh really? Thank you.” Soobin smiled, that same shy polite smile he gave Chaewon which Yeonjun had only ever seen directed at him once and then never again. “It’s my first time so I was a little nervous.”

That took Yeonjun by surprise. He’d read great. Hadn’t stuttered or faltered over any lines.

“You had nothing to worry about! It went awesome.” Yunjin pulled apart her chopsticks but used too much force, making them snap completely uneven, half of one sticking with the other. She exhaled tiredly and looked down at her plate dejectedly before looking back at the doorway where the catering table could be seen.

Before she could even start to get up, Soobin put his chopsticks down and placed a hand on her arm. “Let me. I’ll get another pair for you.” Without another word he stood and walked off.

“Oh, thank you!” Yunjin called after him, beaming. Once he was out of earshot, she turned towards Yeonjun with an astonished look on her face. “Can you believe how sweet he is? I can’t believe you were shit-talking him.”

“Shh!” Yeonjun hissed, glancing at San but he was engrossed in his conversation with Wooyoung.

Yunjin pointed an accusing finger at him. “You’re a hater, admit it.”

“I’m not. It wasn’t personal.” Yeonjun swatted her hand away. “I was just venting and he overheard.”

“Well, you could be a little nicer, then. It’s rude to just sit there and brood.”

“I don’t brood.”

“Oppa, have you seen you?”

“I have nothing to say.”

“So? Ask—”

“Here you go.” Soobin returned with two pairs of chopsticks and even some extra napkins that he placed in front of Yunjin, who thanked him happily. He took his seat again and resumed eating.

There was silence at the table save for Wooyoung (who had barely touched his plate) talking animatedly with San. They were talking about work, reminding Yeonjun further of sitting at a table during family events.

Eventually, Yunjin started some polite small talk with Soobin while Yeonjun worked on clearing off his plate. As he chewed, he considered what Yunjin had said. Was he making Soobin uncomfortable? He thought he had just been matching his energy—which hadn’t been exactly positive. Swallowing his bite he glanced over. A shiver went down his spine when they locked eyes for the briefest second before Soobin glanced away. He’d already been looking.

There was a lull in conversation and Yeonjun put down his chopsticks. “So. Soobin-ssi, how are you adjusting to being an actor?” he tried to ask nonchalantly though he didn’t miss the surprise on both Yunjin and Soobin’s faces.

“Um…” Soobin said, pushing around the last few bits of rice he had left. “It’s definitely different. I kinda miss my members, I’m so used to having them around all the time.”

“How many of you are there?” Yunjin asked.

“We’re four total. So there’s three of them.”

“Wow, quite a small group.”

“Yeah, but it’s nice.” Soobin smiled fondly at his nearly empty plate. “We’re all really close and that way the dorm’s not too crowded.”

Yunjin smiled at him. “Aw that’s sweet. When did you debut again?”

“About… a year and a half ago now? We’re still rookies but I’ve known my members for years as trainees so we’re super close. I see them more than my own family.”

The affection in Soobin’s voice made old memories dredge up in Yeonjun’s mind, memories he hadn’t thought about in years and that made a bitter taste salivate in his mouth. It almost angered him—he didn’t wanna think about memories he had long locked away, much less in front of an idol gushing about his members.

He fished desperately in his mind for the first comment he could find. “It must be easy then.”

Soobin hesitated. “Sorry?”

“Being in a boy love,” Yeonjun leaned forward. He wasn’t even sure what he was saying, he just knew he wanted to get rid of this feeling; had to dig at something else to throw dirt over it. “Because you’re already used to pretending to be in love with another guy. You know, for fanservice.”

“Oppa!” Yunjin gasped, kicking his foot under the table.

Soobin’s face hardened in a second. Suddenly he was a completely different person again. “I don’t pretend to be in love with anyone for fanservice,” he said coldly. Then, he pushed his chair back and stood, looking straight ahead. “Hyung?” He called, his voice ringing clearly.

Across the table, San looked away from Wooyoung’s face slowly. It took him a second to focus on Soobin, a smile still on his face. “Hm?”

“I’m going out to get some air. I’ll be back before we start again.”

San’s smile faded as he studied him. “Okay. Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, that’s okay.” Soobin ducked into a quick bow towards Wooyoung, picked up his tray and then walked off.

Yeonjun watched him go, followed him all the way to the trash cans where he greeted a cleaning lady politely and brightly like nothing at all had happened. 

That bitter nostalgia was gone but Yeonjun didn’t feel all that much better. How was he meant to get through two months of this?