Chapter Text
It had been three months since Amber and her broke up. The months flew by without leaving a trace. A pervasive greyness enveloped the world, but Tara pushed herself to navigate through it, hoping to catch a glimpse of a brighter reality. She felt like she was being continuously pulled from one place to another, one step at a time. She never felt fully present, always detached. Withdrawing into herself, she fought to shield her mind from further darkness. Yet, the thoughts persisted, overwhelming her with sorrow and grief. In this vast world, she felt utterly alone, devoid of any solace. Although she cherished her friends and sister deeply, it couldn't compare to what she truly longed for.
The worst part of it all was that Amber was still a prominent individual in her life. Ambers friends were Tara’s friends, which meant she was always there, it was incredibly hard to escape her. At times, Tara wished Amber was simply a memory in her life she could reflect on, and only that. Someone she could leave back in her hometown Woodsboro and never speak to again. Except that was highly impossible considering they all followed each other to New York in pursuit of their college dreams.
Tara was halfway through her first semester of college, and it would be inaccurate to claim she despised the experience entirely. In truth, it had its moments of enjoyment, with new faces, unfamiliar surroundings, and novel encounters. For the most part, she relished these experiences. However, there was a lingering element that dampened her spirits—Amber's complete emotional absence. Despite being in the same room, Amber wouldn't even acknowledge her presence. Since their breakup, they hadn't exchanged a single coherent sentence. Tara made attempts at conversation, only to receive a nod or a noncommittal sound in response. This infuriating situation was driving Tara to the brink of madness. Losing her girlfriend was painful enough, but losing her best friend was excruciating. Tara was also faced with the undeniable complication of sharing her apartment with the other girl, which only exacerbated her current position.
That was how she found herself in a certain sticky situation.
"You kissed Chad!" Mindy exclaimed, perched on the couch, her face etched with disbelief. Anika, sitting beside her, mirrored the same incredulity. "My repugnant brother?"
Tara simply nodded, still struggling to fully comprehend what had transpired. It had all unfolded so rapidly. "Was it any good?" Mindy asked once more, her expression twisted in disgust.
"The kiss wasn't terrible," Tara replied honestly. It hadn't been terrible; it just hadn't been remarkably extraordinary either. Unbeknownst to Tara, Mindy and Anika exchanged a meaningful glance as she lost herself in her own thoughts. She hadn't had the opportunity to deeply contemplate the significance of the kiss.
"How did it even happen?" Anika inquired, genuinely curious about the circumstances that led to this surprising event.
Tara shrugged, unsure of the underlying cause. Tara herself wasn't entirely certain how it happened. One moment, they were discussing their recent breakups with their ex-girlfriends, and the next, Chad was kissing her out of the blue. A slight shiver ran through her as she recalled the sheer numbness of Chad's wet lips pressing against hers, accompanied by the unfamiliar touch of his tongue grazing her lip. There was no spark, no racing heartbeat—she felt nothing. It annoyed her more than anything else. Amber had truly left an indelible mark, making it difficult for anyone else to measure up.
As if by some eerie cue, Tara's attention was drawn to the sound of a plate shattering on the floor, accompanied by a familiar voice muttering curses under her breath. Tara's gaze snapped up to meet the eyes of the dark-haired girl rushing to clean up the mess. It was Amber. The others on the couch noticed Tara's reaction and followed her gaze, their expressions displaying a cautious hesitation. Everyone was aware that Tara and Amber had been tiptoeing around each other for the past few months. The tension had become palpable, and it was becoming increasingly difficult for those around them to witness.
Tara remained silent and motionless, observing the other girl without offering any help. In the past, Tara would have immediately rushed to Amber's aid, but now all she could do was gaze longingly from a distance. Like magnets Amber’s eyes met hers from across the room. However, Tara quickly averted her gaze, realizing she had overstepped her boundaries. She shook her head, chastising herself for her actions. When she shifted her attention back to the couple on the couch, their eyes held nothing but pity for her.
“Do you need any help, Ams?” Anika asked, from her spot on the couch, craning her neck to look at Amber.
Amber was usually, always secluded in the depths of her headphones. She grew distant from the group recently because of them. They were worn every second of every day, and it was very rare to see her without them on. Mindy quickly noticed she was without them, an uncommon occurrence indeed.
“Yeah, that would be great,” Amber's voice emerged hoarsely, and Tara hungrily absorbed the sound. Even though Amber wasn't directly speaking to her, Tara had learned to appreciate whatever fragments she could grasp. Even if it meant merely hearing a couple words not spoken to her specifically. “I accidentally dropped a plate.”
Anika responded with a humming sound, redirecting her gaze towards her girlfriend, and conveying a message through a look that seemed to imply something obvious. Whatever unspoken communication transpired between them remained a mystery to Tara. Their shared glances were inscrutable, making it impossible for Tara to decipher their meaning. Perplexed, she voiced her confusion, asking, "What's going on?"
“Tara will help you!" Mindy declared with a nonchalant tone, yet mischief sparkled in her eyes. "Won’t you2?"
Tara froze, caught off guard by the unexpected situation she had been thrust into. It would have been impolite to refuse. "Uh, yeah, I'm coming," Tara stammered, feeling her heart race in her chest. She shot a glare at Mindy as she walked past, attempting to ignore the smirk on her friend's face. In an act of retaliation, Tara playfully stuck her tongue out, hoping to hide the fact that her hands were already trembling.
Tara hadn't mustered the courage to directly look at her ex-girlfriend yet. As she approached the impending task, she stole a glance at the taller girl, who seemed to draw closer with each step Tara took. Amber purposefully avoided meeting Tara's gaze, busy rummaging through the kitchen in search of a dustpan. The sound of clattering knives echoed through the room as Amber opened a few drawers. Tara, trying to be helpful, opened the cabinet doors beneath the sink and retrieved the dustpan.
"Here," Tara whispered softly, catching Amber's attention. As Amber turned around, the two of them found themselves standing just a step apart, with the dustpan resting between them. The realization of their closeness settled upon both of them. Tara remained frozen, relishing in the scent that emanated from Amber in such close proximity. She closed her eyes, briefly pretending that they hadn't broken up, imagining that once she opened her eyes again it would have all been a dream.
"Thanks," Amber replied softly, her breath brushing against Tara's forehead as she accepted the dustpan. Their fingertips grazed each other in a fleeting touch, sending a gentle electric current through Tara's body. With a mixture of anticipation and hesitation, Tara slowly opened her eyes, finding herself locked in a close gaze with Amber. In that moment, the world around them seemed to fade into silence, and Tara's breath caught in her throat. Her once bustling mind fell into a tranquil stillness. As Tara's gaze shifted downwards, her eyes fixated on Amber's parted lips, captivated, and lost in a trance-like state.
The longing within Tara grew stronger as she realized how much she missed these moments of closeness with Amber. The absence of their usual awkwardness and despair allowed her to fully surrender to the intensity of her desire. As Tara gazed into Amber's eyes, she couldn't help but notice that Amber's own gaze had shifted, fixated upon Tara's lips. The unspoken desire between them hung heavily in the air, charging the atmosphere with a potent mix of emotions.
The apartment door swung open abruptly, creating a loud bang that reverberated throughout the space. "We're here!" Chad's voice boomed through the doorway. "We come bearing alcohol and food." Amber took a step back, and Tara noticed the tension in her jaw and the hardness in her eyes. In an instant, the warmth that had enveloped them just moments ago vanished, leaving Tara with a sudden coldness. She resisted the urge to reach out to Amber, instead opting to fidget with her fingers, trying to restrain her urges.
Multiple voices filled the air, mingling with the sound of chip packets cascading along the floor, diverting Tara's attention. The once comforting silence that had enveloped the space earlier dissipated amidst the commotion. Suddenly, Chad let out a yelp of pain, prompting Tara to witness Mindy vigorously smacking him. "What the fuck did I do!?" Chad exclaimed in confusion.
"Everything!" Mindy whisper-yelled, dragging Chad away by the ear and out of sight.
Tara turned her focus back to Amber, finding her gaze still fixed upon her. Just as Tara was about to offer her help in cleaning the mess, Amber interrupted her before she could speak. "Go help set up, I'll manage here," Amber redirected her gaze away from Tara's, making way for Tara as she passed by to pick up the broken pieces of the shattered plate.
Friday night movie night had evolved into a cherished weekly tradition among their group of friends. It was an event no one wanted to miss, and anyone who dared to break the tradition would face the consequences. Initially, it had been a special ritual shared exclusively between Amber and Tara during their high school days. However, as their circle of friends expanded, they gradually started inviting more people to join, despite Amber's initial resistance to the idea.
Tara hesitantly re-entered the lounge room, finding four out of the six friends already settled in. Chad sprawled lazily across the couch, his legs draped over Mindy, who scolded him in hushed tones. Anika busily arranged the food and drinks in their designated spots, while her sister sat nearby, enjoying the unfolding antics with a smile.
Sam looked up and noticed Tara's presence. She stood up and embraced her sister, asking about her day at work. Tara buried her face in her sister's shoulder, their bond momentarily comforting. However, the comfort quickly faded as Sam lowered her head and whispered a question that caught Tara off guard. "When were you going to tell me, you kissed Chad?"
Startled, Tara pulled away from her sister, her gaze turning piercing as she directed it towards Mindy. "Mindy!" she scolded; her tone laced with frustration.
Mindy, seemingly caught off guard, raised her hands in a defensive gesture, resembling a deer caught in headlights. "I'm sorry, it was just so random, I couldn't keep it to myself," she pleaded. “You and Chad kissed. It’s the most random pairing, I didn’t know what to do with that information!”
Tara's gaze shifted to Chad, who had stiffened and attempted to blend into the couch, wanting to escape the unfolding scene. His discomfort was evident as he tried to fade into the background.
"Chad and Tara kissed?" Liv's voice echoed through the room as she entered. Tara mentally berated herself, feeling as if she were already doomed. She stood there in silence, unable to articulate any words to explain or justify the situation. Her eyes pleaded with her friends, desperately wishing for the ground to swallow her whole. To make matters even worse, Amber emerged from the kitchen, drawn by the commotion that had erupted. Tara felt an overwhelming desire to strangle Mindy until she choked on her own saliva and met a gruesome fate.
This was beyond mortifying.
Amber casually interjected, "Yeah, they did," as she walked past Liv, making her way to her designated spot on the couch. She reclined with an air of nonchalance, adjusting her position as if entirely unfazed by the whole situation. Tara could have screamed.
Tara seethed with anger, her focus solely fixed on Amber, completely disregarding Liv's presence. Amber's closed eyes and carefree demeanour only served to intensify Tara's fury. The atmosphere in the room shifted dramatically, as if the energy within Tara was radiating in palpable waves. A heavy silence settled upon everyone present, their eyes trained on Tara, witnessing the fiery anger building within her.
Why didn't Amber care? How could she be so unaffected? Had she truly moved on? After months of emotional distance and self-reflection, was Amber finally letting go? Tara couldn't bear the onslaught of thoughts that tormented her. Her worst fear had been laid bare for all to see. Her beloved Amber was gone. Faded. Vanished. The person her heart longed for every single day seemed utterly indifferent to the fact that Tara had kissed someone else.
Her heart sank in her chest, and Tara averted her gaze from Amber, unable to bear the painful sight. The mere presence of Amber felt like a piercing stab to her already wounded heart. Sam's pitying look only intensified the ache within her. Tara brushed past her sister and sought solace in the kitchen. As she entered, her eyes caught a few stray pieces of shattered glass that Amber had overlooked. With a heavy sigh, Tara grabbed the dustpan and began the task of cleaning up the remnants.
But as she worked, tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision. Her breath became shallow and erratic, her chest heaving with each laboured inhalation. The air around her felt suffocating, thick with an unrelenting heaviness. Tara's lungs struggled for air, as if an invisible weight pressed down upon her, compressing her chest, and depriving her of the oxygen she desperately needed. The weight of her emotions and the anguish of the situation threatened to overwhelm her completely.
Tara's grip tightened on the edge of the kitchen counter as she felt the constriction in her throat, a suffocating sensation that seemed to tighten with each passing moment. Her heart raced in her chest, pounding forcefully as her pulse quickened. The overwhelming surge of emotions and the weight of her despair were taking a toll on her both mentally and physically.
Lost in catching her breathe, Tara absentmindedly placed her hands on the cold tiles, seeking a brief moment of grounding. However, her attempt was met with a sharp sting as a piece of glass embedded itself into her palm. She winced, hastily retracting her hand and feeling the warm trickle of blood seeping from the wound. Pain radiated through her as she gingerly removed the shard, her breath hitching at the intensity of the sensation.
In the midst of her distress, she had not noticed the presence that walked up behind her. “Are you okay?” A soft voice broke through the silence behind her. Tara's body tensed, instantly recognizing the voice. She fought back the tears welling up in her eyes, unwilling to appear vulnerable in front of the person who had spoken. She took a deep breath, composing herself as best she could, before turning around to face the person standing there.
Amber's concern was evident in her furrowed brows and the worry etched across her face as she looked down at Tara. Tara couldn't help but wonder how she must appear in that moment—dishevelled, distressed, and far from her best. The tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision, but she refused to let herself hope for anything more than what it was.
When Amber asked if she was okay, Tara shook her head, dismissing any notion of her own well-being. She couldn't afford to entertain the possibility of care and concern from Amber anymore. “I’m fine,” Tara stood up, her voice laced with venom It wasn't the response she had intended. She was just tired, and over everything exhaustion and frustration had taken their toll on her.
With her words hanging in the air, Tara turned away from Amber, a mix of hurt and defiance in her eyes. She couldn't bear to linger in that moment any longer, not when the weight of her emotions threatened to consume her.
As she turned, the blood from her hand dripped onto the floor. She cursed herself, knowing Amber would see it in mere seconds. Unfortunately, she was right. “Tara,” Tara's heart skipped a beat as Amber's gentle hands firmly grasped her wrist, pulling her back around to face her. Her eyes immediately fell upon Tara's bleeding hand, and a mixture of worry and tenderness filled her gaze. Tara couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope flicker within her, despite her efforts to suppress it.
Amber's thumb lightly grazed the wounded skin, causing a shiver to run down Tara's spine. The concern in her eyes was unmistakable, and her words were filled with a sense of urgency. "We need to fix this," she said, her voice soft yet determined.
Tara's breath caught in her throat, her heart pounding in her chest. She found herself momentarily speechless, her emotions swirling within her. In that moment, she couldn't deny the longing she felt, the desire for Amber's care and attention. But doubts and fears still lingered, threatening to overshadow any glimmer of hope.
With a shaky breath, Tara nodded, allowing Amber to guide her towards the kitchen sink. The touch of their hands, even in this simple act, sent a jolt of electricity through Tara's veins. She tried to steady her racing heart, reminding herself to tread cautiously.
As Amber washed away the blood and tended to her injured hand, Tara couldn't help but steal glances at her. There was a mix of emotions in her gaze—concern, regret, and perhaps even a hint of longing. Tara's heart yearned for answers, for clarity amidst the tangled web of their feelings.
But for now, as Amber focused on tending to her wound, Tara couldn't bring herself to disrupt the fragile peace that had settled between them. She would wait, hoping that in time, they could find the words to bridge the gap that had grown between them.
She was grateful for the secluded corner of this kitchen, where lingering eyes could not enter the privacy of this moment, whether it was real or not. Tara let her imagination run wild, focusing on Amber’s touch, and Amber’s touch alone.
Tara winced at the sting of the cloth on her deep cut, but she welcomed the pain as a grounding force. It reminded her that this moment was real, that Amber was here, taking care of her. She watched as Amber gently cleaned the wound, her touch both careful and tender.
As Amber wiped away the blood, Tara's gaze remained fixed on her. The intensity in Amber's eyes was evident, something that Tara couldn't quite decipher. The cut was deeper than Tara realised, starting from one side of her palm to the other. In her anxious daze she hadn’t known the extent of the wound. There was a sharp sting as Amber applied the cloth onto the wound, wiping away the blood that formed around it.
“I’m going to bandage you up,” Amber said, barely above a whisper. “Is that okay?”
Tara simply nodded, her body relaxing under Amber's gentle attention. As Tara watched Amber leave, the warmth of their closeness began to fade. Amber hurriedly searched through the drawers, searching for the bandages. After a moment, she found them and returned to Tara's side.
"Sit," Amber commanded, gesturing towards the bench beside the sink. Tara complied without hesitation, hoisting herself onto the bench. However, due to her height, she struggled to do so on her first attempt, which elicited a quiet chuckle from Amber. "Here," Amber placed her hands on either side of Tara's waist, her thumb rubbing gently. With a display of strength, she effortlessly lifted Tara off the floor and onto the bench, causing Tara to involuntarily shiver.
Amber gently parted Tara's thighs, her movements confident and practiced, as if she had done it before. And indeed, she had. She positioned herself between Tara's legs, their proximity becoming an important element, as understood by both of them. With a gentle touch, she lifted Tara's hand from where it rested on her thigh and resumed her task of carefully cleaning the wound, wiping away the blood that continued to trickle out.
Amber reached behind Tara's figure to retrieve the disinfectant, her movements graceful and purposeful. Tara couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle, causing Amber to pause and look up, curious about the source of her laughter.
"What's so funny?" Amber asked, grinning in anticipation of Tara's response.
Tara, still smiling mischievously, replied, "Oh, just- nothing.” Amber playfully glared at her, squinting her eyes in mock annoyance.
As Tara continued to giggle, she had to bite her lip to suppress another wave of laughter. She could feel the warmth of Amber's hands gently stroking her thighs, soothing, and comforting her in an unconscious gesture. The touch felt almost surreal against her bare skin, and she couldn't help but appreciate the comfort of her short, summer sleep shorts in that moment.
"Tara," Amber commanded, her tone firm, but Tara was caught in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. Amber seized the chance to provoke even more laughter and swiftly started tickling her under her knees. Her fingers danced rapidly across Tara's body, causing her to curl up and squirm in a futile attempt to evade the teasing touch.
"Okay, okay, you win," she admitted, her voice laced with amusement. Amber relented and withdrew her tickling assault, letting Tara catch her breath and regain composure. Tara's laughter subsided into breathless chuckles as she lowered her hands, a playful glint still lingering in her eyes. “I’m just remembering you and your disinfectant.”
All through middle and high school, Tara was infamous for her clumsiness, often tripping and getting herself into accidents that resulted in open wounds. Her family was usually absent, so every time Tara found herself in need of care, Amber was there by her side. With her trusty disinfectant and bandages in hand. Amber became Tara's very-own personal caretaker, tending to her injuries as if it were a sacred ritual. Amber's disinfectant seemed to become a remedy that Tara came to rely on. And now, in this unexpected reunion, it seemed that some things hadn't changed, as Amber once again took on the role of Tara's caretaker, tending to her wounded hand.
"What, it never fails. You, of all people, should know this," Amber smiled, her eyes sparkling with a flawless radiance. Tara found herself easily captivated by those mesmerizing eyes, losing track of time whenever she gazed into them. It didn't matter how much time had passed; in that moment, nothing else mattered. The world around them faded away, leaving only the enchanting presence of Amber. Tara was drawn into a sense of tranquillity, as if all her worries and fears were momentarily suspended in the depths of Amber's gaze.
Amber's attention refocused on the wound on her hand, while Tara stared blankly at the girl before her, studying each feature up close before it was snatched away again. Observing Amber as she washed the cloth and poured disinfectant on it, Tara waited. "Okay, are you ready?" Amber asked hesitantly, meeting Tara's gaze.
Tara nodded, and Amber extended her hand, which Tara grasped. As soon as it touched the wound, a sharp pain shot through Tara's injured hand. She tightly squeezed Amber's hand, gritting her teeth to divert her attention from the pain. Inadvertently, her thighs instinctively wrapped around Amber's, pulling her closer.
Tara noticed a smirk forming on Amber's lips. “Nailed it baby,” Amber remarked.
Tara felt her cheeks flush at the endearing nickname. It had been a while since she had heard such words. The surprise was evident as Tara's lips parted slightly, desperately seeking proper breath. Perhaps Amber hadn't noticed Tara's flustered state, as she promptly resumed her task, shifting her attention back to Tara's wound.
She grabbed the bandages, her touch gentle and sincere, silently wrapping the wound with expert precision. Each movement carried a sense of tenderness, as if she were performing a delicate dance to protect and heal. Tara couldn't help but appreciate the carefulness and dedication Amber put into her actions.
She wished she could freeze time in that very moment, basking in the warmth of Amber's care and attention. There was something comforting and reassuring about being in Amber's presence, as if nothing else mattered outside of that small space they occupied. Tara yearned for the simplicity of this connection, where all she needed was Amber's unwavering support and healing touch. It was a fleeting desire, but in that instant, she allowed herself to revel in the fantasy of staying in that spot forever, cocooned in Amber's nurturing embrace.
Once Amber finished wrapping up the final layer, she looked up, a small smile playing on her lips. "All done," she announced, her thumb gently grazing over the bandages as a reassurance of her thoroughness. Remaining leaned against the bench, she maintained a comforting proximity to Tara. Amber's eyes conveyed a sense of pride in her handiwork.
A brief moment of silence enveloped them, Tara's gaze locked onto Amber's eyes. There was a pleading glint in Tara's eyes, as if she yearned for Amber to stay still, to remain within her grasp. It was a silent plea, a desire for the connection they had forged in that vulnerable moment to remain unbroken.
Tara's legs remained securely wrapped around Amber's hips, while their hands maintained a firm grip on each other. This time, Tara's silent pleas did not go unnoticed by Amber, evident from the way she gazed back at her. With determination, Tara's other hand joined her bandaged one, wrapping around Amber's neck to keep her close.
They were extremely close now, and Tara could feel Amber’s breathe gently brushing her lips, which evoked delightful tingles. Her gaze naturally descended, becoming fixated on the tender lips she yearned to feel trailing along her skin once again. Tara lifted her eyes, she discovered Amber reciprocating the same action, her attention singularly focused on Tara’s lips.
Their eyes voicing their true desires.
Tara's gaze remained fixed on Amber as she leant in, seemingly defying the laws of proximity. Her hands rested on both knees as the intoxicating scent of Amber permeated Tara's senses, overpowering her and igniting a sense of surrender. In that moment, Tara willingly embraced whatever was about to unfold between them.
However, Amber chose not to immediately go for Tara's lips. Instead, her soft lips delicately pressed against the edge of Tara's mouth. Overwhelmed by the long-awaited sensation, Tara closed her eyes, willingly surrendering to the bliss she had dearly missed. Amber's lips continued their journey, planting gentle kisses on Tara's left cheek, then her right. Each tender touch left an imprint, etching the memory of Amber's lips onto Tara's skin. Gradually, Amber migrated to Tara's jaw, nuzzling into the sensitive area before finally focusing on Tara's most delicate spot along her neck, where she skilfully applied a gentle suction.
The gradual, cascading progression of Amber's kisses intensified the moment, fuelling the desire between them. As Amber's lips journeyed upwards, Tara's own lips eagerly sought out Amber's, yearning to be reunited with the ones they had longed for.
Two sets of lips barely grazed together.
"The movie's starting, do you guys-" Chad walked into the room, his sentence trailing off as he swiftly grasped the unfolding situation. "Sorry, am I interrupting something?" he asked, sensing the tension in the air.
“No,” Amber instinctively pulled back, her body stiffening with sudden rigidity. The emotion that washed over her features was unmistakable. Frustration etched her face, her jaw tightly clenched, and she rolled her eyes before forcefully distancing herself from Tara. “She’s all yours!” Amber said before she stormed out of the kitchen, leaving Tara to freeze.
"So, the plan worked?" Chad beamed, gesturing behind him toward what Tara presumed was Amber. "You guys back together?"
Tara let out a sigh, stepping away from the bench and approaching Chad. "I appreciate you playing the role of my himbo," Tara tapped his shoulder with encouragement. "But it's crucial for you to learn when to assess the situation."