Chapter Text
Wizard Shit
“Granger, you’re telling me that—”
Draco ducked as a muscled green giant leapt overhead, an inhuman snarl echoing in its wake.
“—that it’s perfectly okay for British witches and wizards to stay hidden when this is what they’re doing in America?”
“Yes, well—arresto memento!” Hermione shouted, a jet of blue light shooting from her wand tip and surrounding a crumbling building. It tumbled gently to the ground, like a child curling onto its side for a nap. “In their defence, the threats that they’ve been fighting have been more of the world-ending variety than those we’ve dealt with.”
Draco gaped at her. “Voldemort wanted to kill all Muggleborns.”
In the sky, some kind of mechanical worm with spikes emerged from a gaping portal, stars shining behind it. As it hovered over the city, undulating perversely, Hermione glared at him. “I’m aware, as I am a Muggleborn and went on the run from him.”
Before Draco could reply, an armoured man flew between them, hovering inches off the ground.
The mask clicked up, revealing a face thick with stubble and wearing a smarmy grin. “Hi, Tony Stark. Iron Man. You might have heard of me.” He gestured to the suit, but when neither of them answered, he rolled his eyes. “Whenever you two are done with your little lover’s spat”—Tony wiggled his fingers—“maybe you could get back to the wizard shit you were doing. It helps.”
Without another word, he zoomed off, blasting an—what had Hermione called it, an alient?—out of the sky.
More creatures emerged from the worm, shooting towards the city, and its tail crashed into another building.
Hermione shot Draco a grim smile as they followed in Tony’s wake, wands aloft. “You heard the man: wizard shit.”
Draco groaned. “I’m never letting you choose our bloody vacation again.”