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Knockturn Alley was exactly as Severus imagined it to be, which was both bad and good.
Tobias never allowed him to accompany Eileen when she visited Diagon Alley to buy his materials for Hogwarts, he seemed to think that if Severus didn't have so much contact with the wizarding world, he might lose interest or forget about it. Tobias eventually realised that wouldn't happen, but at this point Eileen was no longer going to buy his materials, and Severus himself had no money to spend there.
It wasn't as if Severus had never been to Diagon Alley, but it was the first time he had ventured into Knockturn Alley. They were two days away from going back to Hogwarts, and the Potters decided they wanted to buy some things. Severus didn't know what Euphemia might possibly want to buy, and he himself couldn't keep her from spending more money on him, this time on the hair products that had done so well for his greasy hair, but she had decided that they were going to leave the house that day, and he wasn't trying to go against her requests anymore.
At some point, Euphemia and Fleamont separated from them. And then Potter and Lily, who had also been invited, decided that they no longer needed their company, apparently too preoccupied with helping a little boy who was going to enter Hogwarts that year to decide which was the best animal to buy. Sirius and Remus were walking side by side with him, but Sirius started complaining that he wanted to look at a few different shops while Remus was walking away, trying to go to one of the bookshops. As they passed the entrance to Knockturn Alley, Severus couldn't contain his own curiosity.
Severus said he was going for a walk alone, but the two were so busy arguing about where they were going that they didn't seem to notice. He slipped away from them in silence, certain that letting them know where he was going would not bring any positive opinions from the two anyway. The small corridor leading to Knockturn Alley was poorly lit even in daylight, and Severus suspected that many shops would not be open, but he had no intention of buying anything, so that wasn't really a bad thing. He was just curious and wanted to take a look around.
Many Slytherins had stories about that place, after all, many of them had connections to the Dark Arts. Severus had heard all sorts of rumours, but he doubted most of them were true. While he knew that many dangerous things must be sold there, Severus also knew that hardly any Pureblood children would be free to play with these artifacts, as many said they did. The only one with the most convincing stories was Lucius, and Severus knew that he himself liked to sell certain things around there. It was no wonder the Malfoy's had a reputation for being great dark wizards.
A few shops were open, and they had display cases full of items of different categories. No doubt most of them should have some sort of distinct curse on them. Severus knew his friends didn't like his tendencies to appreciate the Dark Arts, but they didn't see things the way he did. He understood, of course, that many things on this side were cruel just for being cruel, and that many wizards played with this magic thinking only of hurting others, but he also saw the interesting parts for academic study, as well as the dark magics that weren't necessarily used to hurt other people. He saw potential there.
Standing in front of an especially large display case, Severus looked at the different jewels that were for sale. They were formidable pieces, more fairly priced than he thought he could find anywhere else. The fact that most of them could kill someone at the touch probably made the seller lower the price, but a committed enough person could probably make quite a bit of money reselling the pieces if they managed to remove all the curses. Severus himself wondered if he could figure out a way to remove the curses, just because some of the rings were so beautiful, and would no doubt look good on Remus and Sirius's fingers.
"Found something you like, young boy?" a voice sounded behind him. Severus startled a little, and when he turned to see who was speaking to him, he found a man who looked strangely familiar, though Severus was sure he had never seen him before. He had black hair, pretty dark, and eyes in a greyish blue hue. Perhaps he was the owner of the shop?
"I'm just looking." Severus shrugged.
"They're very pretty jewellery." the man nodded, stopping beside him, also looking at the display case "But I don't think a boy your age should try to play with any of those pieces."
Severus couldn't help a chuckle, "I have no pretense of dying, sir. I am well aware that they must be very dangerous."
The man faced him with a small smile as well.
"Normally people your age don't venture this way."
"I was curious. My housemates talk about certain shops around here, and I caught myself with time to visit, since my other friends were busy."
"Slytherin?" the man asked.
Severus nodded, "Not that I think any of them actually came here. After all, you need to have a good eye for shopping everywhere, and most of them don't really know what they're looking for. They just want what's most expensive."
"Um, certainly." the man seemed slightly surprised by Severus' response. "Do you have an interest in such things, or do you just follow your housemates?"
"I am interested in magic." Severus chose to answer. He didn't want the man to get any impression of the contradictory opinions he sometimes presented "Whether it's dark or light, I don't think it matters that much. After all, shouldn't we wizards care about things that matter?" he stared at the man, almost as if daring him to go against him.
"An academic." the man said, smiling again "You enjoy studying."
"Yes, I do." Severus muttered, strangely embarrassed. The man almost seemed to have complimented him.
"It's hard to find people who think like that. People with nuance. Recently, one needs to have a fairly definite and radical opinion."
"I believe certain things are indisputable." Severus frowned. He did not support most of the ideals of the Purebloods who were joining the Dark Lord "But I also believe that certain things are sometimes branded too soon as good or bad, and fail to be enjoyed as they should be, that's all."
It was the man's turn to nod, looking pleased, "Certainly."
Severus didn't know what else to say, and he had spent enough time there anyway, so he decided he would go and meet the rest of the group. He glanced at the man, who had gone back to staring at the shop window. Perhaps he thought Severus was, like most Slytherin, a Pureblood child. Now that he was dressed properly and was eating better, his image had improved considerably. There were still some things he wished to change about himself, things that Euphemia had offered, and that although he was reluctant, he wanted to accept, but Severus knew that he passed on a completely different vibe now.
Sirius had said that he looked all posh and fancy, just like an heir. Remus seemed to agree with that opinion, but Severus didn't know if he agreed because he really thought so or if he just wanted to tease him.
"I'm leaving." Severus huffed "My friends are probably looking for me."
"Oh, don't let me hold you here, young boy." the man nodded, smiling again "Have a nice day."
"You too, sir." Severus nodded, returning the nod.
He walked back down Knockturn Alley, looking for the exit. The traffic of people hadn't improved much, but Severus didn't really want to stay there until nightfall to check how things really were. He shoved his hands into his trouser pockets, trying to make himself smaller as he passed through. In the corridor that led back to Diagon Alley, a group of people were approaching. Most of the people had their faces covered, and as he sidestepped the group, Severus noticed, passing right in front of him, none other than Peter Pettigrew. Beside him, a few other Slytherin students were also coming down accompanying the people in masks. He certainly recognised Mulciber among them.
Severus turned his face away, hoping not to be noticed. Maybe it helped that the lighting there wasn't the best in that narrow corridor, even though it was daylight, and he was walking with his head down, hoping not to attract too much attention. It probably also helped that he was wearing new clothes, which were harder to notice, because they were good clothes, but simple, and people usually only noticed him when they wanted to comment on his poverty. Still, Severus felt he had been recognised, because a few people turned to watch him go by. He didn't know if Pettigrew or Mulciber had noticed him, but someone certainly had.
He hurried his pace, and was relieved that no one tried to talk to him. Pettigrew's presence there was terrible, because now Severus knew he could no longer keep this secret from Remus and Sirius. He had talked to Lily, who already knew about Pettigrew's encounters with some difficult Slytherin students, and they had agreed that it was best to keep it a secret for the time being because they had nothing concrete, but that was definitely more than enough. It remained to be seen if Remus and Sirius would take his word for it, because Potter would certainly be quite suspicious.
The moment he turned back towards Diagon Alley, Severus let his shoulders relax. He looked around, searching for any of the boys, or maybe Lily, but they were probably too spread out. Severus walked back, a little more relaxed now that he was in the midst of more people. He was trying to think of a way to tell Remus and Sirius what he thought about Pettigrew's involvement with future Death Eaters, but he was also looking for a way to be kind by talking about it. It was clear that even though they had distanced themselves a little, the Marauders still called each other. And they also slept in the same dorm, after all. It wasn't an easy thing.
"Sev!" someone shouted for him, and Severus turned around.
Lily had come running towards him, accompanied by Potter.
"Sev, you disappeared! Remus and Sirius were worried about you, and—" Lily stopped when she saw his face, frowning. She stepped closer, holding his hands "Sev, did something happen?"
Severus swallowed dryly, glancing at Potter before turning back to Lily.
"Something did happen, but I can't say anything right now. It would be better if we all talked together."
"Are you okay?" Potter asked, suspiciously.
He nodded, "Nothing happened to me, but we really should talk about this matter together. Where are Remus and Sirius?"
"Looking for you." Lily replied, pulling him along "We're going after them. Mrs. and Mr. Potter were worried too."
Lily began to guide the two of them through Diagon Alley. She apparently had some sort of sixth sense for finding people easily, because Lily moved as if she was absolutely certain from the start where Remus and Sirius were. When they saw Severus standing next to Lily and James, the two of them immediately approached and started checking him out, very concerned about the boy's sudden disappearance. After having spent a good amount of time berating him for simply walking away from the two of them, they all began to walk through Diagon Alley together. In less than five minutes, they were all gathered around, and not long afterwards Euphemia and Fleamont found them as well.
"Severus, we were all looking for you!" Euphemia touched his face, visibly worried "You can't just disappear like that, young man!"
Severus felt his cheeks heat up. He was used to wandering alone, because he rarely had Eileen's company. Severus hardly ever needed to explain himself to people, so this was something really new to him.
"I'm sorry." Severus muttered, embarrassed.
Euphemia grimaced, but smiled in the end, "It's okay. You're fine, so it's all right. Just don't do it again!"
They all travelled to Potter Cottage together after that. Lily obviously came along with them, because Severus wanted her to be there when he went to talk about Pettigrew. If Remus, Sirius or Potter ended up disbelieving him, Lily could prove that Severus wasn't lying, because she had also seen the boy meet with other Slytherin students before. It was her first time in Potter's house, and he was apparently extremely nervous about it, looking around as if the house might have something that would make Lily hate him forever. The girl, on the other hand, seemed calm, looking around curiously.
Euphemia said that they could play until dinner time, but that she didn't want them to be late to eat. After promising that they would be there by supper time, they all headed to the room that Sirius and Remus shared. It was the largest room in the house, and the most comfortable, too. Severus' room was small, and Potter's, though large enough, was always messy, and he apparently didn't want Lily to have any wrong impressions of him. They sat on the floor, between the beds. Severus found himself in the middle of Sirius and Remus, as was usually the case. Sirius placed his hand on his knee, casually. No one seemed to notice the touch, or if they did, they didn't pay proper attention.
"What did you want to tell us, Sev?" Lily asked, sitting across from him, clearly anxious.
He looked at Remus and Sirius before answering, a little nervous. Sirius squeezed his knee, and Remus moved a bit closer. Lily followed their movement with her eyes, and then stared at Severus with an expression that bordered on amusement. If he wasn't about to say something serious, she would certainly be teasing him by now.
"When I walked away from you, I—" Severus huffed. He knew they would be angry if they knew where he had gone, but context was necessary "I went to Knockturn Alley."
"Sev!" Lily complained "You know how dangerous that place is!"
"And why would you go there alone!" Sirius said as well, sounding annoyed. He sadly removed his hand from Severus' leg "What if something had happened to you?"
Severus turned to Remus, who was staring at him with a frown. Potter held a similar expression. He sighed.
"I always wanted to see what Knockturn Alley is like. The place was pretty empty, it was too early yet. That's not the point." he emphasised, before Lily could interrupt him "When I was walking back to Diagon Alley, a group of masked people were coming down. I recognised some Slytherin students there."
"That's not really a surprise, is it?" Potter raised his eyebrows "We all know that most of them who are the right age will be joining the Dark Lord."
"I didn't just see them." Severus grumbled, hating to be interrupted. He took a deep breath "Along with them was Pettigrew."
A silence fell over the group. The Marauders' eyes widened, but Lily didn't react, she just seemed to have understood Severus' hesitation. He opened his mouth to continue, but once again Potter interrupted him.
"Why should I believe you? Peter is my best friend! What are you implying-" he snapped, but Lily held his arm.
"James! James, no—" she kept him where he was sitting "I don't think Sev is lying, both of us—" she looked at Severus, uncertain what to say.
"You two what?" Remus said, and he was pale. Severus swallowed dryly "What do you two know?"
"It's not the first time I've seen Pettigrew talking to these Slytherin students. Lily has seen it too." Severus muttered, watching the girl nod "We decided not to say anything before because—" he turned his head, ungracefully. It seemed so sentimental now, keeping this secret for fear of hurting them "Because I didn't think you guys would believe me. Or Lily. And I know Pettigrew is best friends with you, so..."
The three continued in silence, seeming to process what they had heard. Severus and Lily were exchanging nervous glances. They could keep talking, they could specify all the times they had seen Pettigrew talking to future Death Eaters, but it seemed cruel to do that to them, so they remained quiet. Sirius suddenly touched him again after a while, and unlike the firmer, angrier touch Severus had expected, he returned with a gentle hand.
"You didn't want to tell because you didn't want me and Remus to be sad." he whispered, smiling as he noticed Severus' flushed cheeks. Still, his smile was sad, disappointed "How long has this been going on?"
Severus turned to Lily, trying to estimate a date, "I think since last year. I definitely started noticing it after we got closer."
"Sev saw it all happening first, I only saw them together afterwards." Lily nodded "We're not—we're not accusing him of anything. But it's weird. And he—well, why would he be in Knockturn Alley with these people? I— Well, it's a delicate situation."
"If he's hanging out with Mulciber, then—" Severus grimaced "He's the worst of them. I don't know— I'm sorry." Severus sighed, staring at Remus and then Sirius. He even showed a little pity for Potter "I don't mean to be pessimistic, but this isn't exactly looking good for Pettigrew."
"And what are we going to do?" Remus turned to Potter "We can't— Peter will deny it if we ask."
"That asshole." Sirius spat, his expression tight, "What's he planning? He wants to fuck with us."
"You-" Potter sighed, frustrated. He stared at Lily and Severus, and then turned his face away, as if embarrassed "Would you two give us a moment? This-There are things we should discuss together. The three of us."
The two nodded and stood up. Severus knew he could eventually find out what they had talked about if he asked Remus, and Lily would hear from him soon after. They went downstairs, finding Euphemia, who was with the house elves helping to make dinner. Severus knew that they had certain things and secrets that only the Marauders knew, and that they were definitely discussing how they would approach Peter being in their midst and knowing too much, but he wished he had stayed to listen. He wasn't exactly part of the group, but that didn't change the fact that he was curious.
"Are you guys hungry?" Euphemia asked with a smile.
"Oh, no, no!" Lily smiled back "Sev and I just came down because they wanted to talk about something private. You know how those boys are." she winked, sheepishly. Euphemia laughed with gusto.
"Those boys!" she agreed.
Severus pouted, "I'm a boy too, you know."
"Ah, but you're kinder than any of them." Euphemia complimented, making Severus blush.
"No more than Remus."
Euphemia craned her head.
"Maybe." she conceded, making Lily laugh. "Severus, dear, have you thought about what I told you yesterday?"
"Oh, I, well—" he moved closer to the countertop where she was making a pasta dish, a little awkwardly "I think I'll take you up on that offer, um, if it's not a problem."
"Severus, how wonderful!" Euphemia's face opened into a pleased and proud expression that almost made him cry "It's great news. I will inform Olivia as soon as I can."
He nodded, a little embarrassed. Severus had accompanied Euphemia on a doctor's appointment, because she had apparently grown attached to him. With Sirius and Remus too busy helping James decide what he was going to take back to Hogwarts, because he seemingly couldn't do it alone, and Fleamont busy with some things at the Ministry, Severus was unoccupied, and he saw no problem in accompanying Euphemia. Being an older woman, her health wasn't the same anymore, but it was just a routine check up. When they got there, however, the doctor looked at Severus and immediately noticed that his nose had been broken a few times, which wasn't abnormal, because anyone could see that. What was abnormal, however, was her proposal.
Severus had never had the chance to go to a doctor before, wizard or not. He only received medicine at home, and the closest he'd come to a hospital were the times he had to go to the infirmary at Hogwarts. He had no idea that his nose could be fixed, especially after the bone had been broken so long ago. The doctor also pointed out that his teeth, which were worn down and yellowed because of his poor oral health, was something that could be tidied up if he wanted to. Severus was initially offended — he hated people feeling sorry for him or noticing how bad his situation used to be.
Euphemia and the doctor, Olivia, did not know the extent of all of Severus' problems. Euphemia only knew a few details, and the doctor had only deduced that he had grown up in a complicated situation. They didn't know that he had been physically abused all his life, or that he sometimes went weeks without water in the house because they didn't have the money to pay the bills, or about the food, or rather the lack of it. But it was all deductible, because Severus was a boy with marks from his past. When Olivia offered to fix those things, Severus thought she was feeling sorry for him.
But Euphemia noticed, quite quickly, his expression and the way it changed. She was a rather observant person, though she didn't show it all the time. Euphemia asked for a moment to talk to Severus in person, and when Olivia left them alone in the office, Euphemia held his hands and gently explained that it was Severus' decision, and that it wasn't about pity. They just wanted him to be able to have at least some of the life he deserved, a life he should have had had his situation not been so bad. It wasn't a decision motivated by ego or vanity, it was just a matter of health — the health he needed.
Severus had noticed that he had trouble breathing sometimes, probably because of the drift he had in his nose. He had also noticed a number of other problems that he had just learned to live with. He didn't want to accept the proposal at first, still too terrified of the idea of changing that — like it or not, he had already come to terms with the way he lived his life, so even seemingly good changes were scary. But Euphemia and Olivia were patient, and offered him some time to think. It was preferable that he decide before they went to Hogwarts, but Severus had as much time as he wanted, really.
He had decided to accept because he wanted to be kinder to himself. The mind healer who had attended to him over the summer was doing a good job at applying positive disciplines to Severus' life, which made this acceptance process easier. He hadn't told anyone yet, however. He was embarrassed, for some reason.
"Dinner will be ready in a moment." Euphemia continued, seeing that neither he or Lily were going to speak "You two want to help? More hands are always welcome!"
"We'd love to!" Lily smiled, rolling up the sleeves of the jacket she was wearing.
Severus smiled, agreeing as well. He went to join one of the house elves, asking what he could do, while Lily began to knead a dough next to Euphemia.
Severus was late to catch the train.
It wasn't the first time this had happened, but it was definitely the last considering it was his last year at Hogwarts. Just thinking about it made part of his heart constrict. While he had many bad moments at Hogwarts, Severus had many good moments too, especially in his later years. And he had also always loved magic, and having the freedom to use it as he saw fit within the perimeters of the school was something he would definitely miss. More than that, Hogwarts was a safe place. He knew perfectly well that no one could do anything to him in there, or at least no one would be dumb enough to try without having a perfectly crafted plan, and as much as Severus had a certain dislike for Dumbledore, he knew that such things rarely escaped the man's perception.
This time, however, he wasn't late because he had trouble getting to the station or because Tobias was trying to get in his way. He had been late because he had been in Olivia's office until then, finishing readjusting some things. Euphemia had offered to accompany him, but Severus insisted on doing it alone, promising he would meet them at the station. He just hadn't expected that he would get lost on the way back, too surprised at how easy it was to breathe and missing that constant bitter feeling in his throat. What Olivia had done didn't seem to impact him that much, but Severus was feeling like a new person.
He boarded the train without checking the platform to see who was there. If he tried to look for Euphemia, Fleamont, Lyall and Hope, he'd probably miss the train. It was a good thing he had said goodbye before, just in case. In any case, when he arrived at Hogwarts, Severus would borrow an owl and send a letter to all of them. Who knows, maybe he would do it while still on the train, in case Euphemia was worried about him boarding or not. Perhaps Potter could borrow his owl, just for a moment.
The good part about being late was that since most of the wagons were already full, he didn't have to keep dodging people in the train corridors, which made moving his trunk a lot easier. Severus was looking for any of the four Gryffindors, certain that it would be much easier to find Lily because of her hair. To his surprise, however, the first person he found was Sirius, alone in one of the cabins. He was finishing placing the trunks in the luggage area above the seats. Severus opened the door with a little bit of struggle and smiled minimally when Sirius turned to him.
"'Hi, I was late." Severus explained himself, a little clumsily. They knew he had an appointment before he boarded, they just didn't know what it was "Can you he— Ah, thank you."
Without Severus really needing to ask, Sirius had already lifted his suitcases and placed them up there. When he was done, he turned to Severus with a smile, and suddenly frowned.
"Did you do something to your hair?"
Severus brought his hand to his head, confused.
"Huh, no."
"There's something—" Sirius spun around him, looking confused "It looks like there's something different, but I—well, I can't tell what. You really haven't changed your hair one bit? By Merlin, don't tell me you cut it!" he whined.
"No!" Severus laughed, holding Sirius by the shoulders. Despite the confusion, Sirius smiled "I— Um, I did change something a little bit." he pointed to his own nose, and then smiled more openly. Sirius continued to stare as if he didn't understand "Can't you— can't you tell?"
Sirius stared for a few more seconds, until he focused on Severus' nose rather intensely. After a while, he widened his eyes slightly. One of his hands went to meet Severus' nose, tracing what was once a broken curve, but was now straight and tidy. Then, apparently not satisfied, Sirius lowered his hand to Severus' mouth, and Severus parted it slightly. He pulled Severus' lip down gently, noticing the straight, whitened teeth in a more normal shade.
"Ah, you did this." Sirius whispered, looking at Severus' mouth. Then, suddenly, he looked into his eyes "You look hot."
"You hadn't even—" Severus swallowed dryly, embarrassed "You hadn't even noticed the difference."
"That just proves that you were hot before anyway." Sirius raised his eyebrows, teasing. Severus felt his cheeks heat up "But you already knew that."
"I didn't—" he gasped as Sirius' finger proved more insistent, massaging one of Severus' canines.
"I'm going to kiss you." Sirius warned, giving Severus some time to process the idea. When Severus didn't pull away, he actually kissed him.
Since that day, they hadn't kissed again. Sirius was definitely more affectionate and more confident, touching Severus more easily, but they hadn't taken any kind of initiative. Without Remus it seemed weird, and even though the two of them liked each other quite a bit, they also wanted to do it the right way. That didn't mean, however, that Severus wouldn't enjoy a kiss from Sirius Black, especially if it meant he finally had the chance to kiss him without the salty taste of tears between them.
Sirius held him by the waist, pulling Severus closer. They only broke apart when it became impossible to continue kissing because of their shortness of breath, and even when Sirius pulled away, Severus instinctively followed after him. With a small smile, Sirius gently caressed his face before they finally parted. They were lucky that no one tried to get into the cabin they were in, because that would be genuinely hard to explain.
"Where are the others?" Severus asked, trying to sound more normal.
"Ah, well—" Sirius grimaced, tidying his hair "James has gone to talk to Peter, we haven't—we haven't decided what we're going to do yet, so he's distracting Peter elsewhere." Severus nodded "Lily went to talk to some friends, and Rem is talking to the prefects. I stayed here waiting for you."
"Thank you." Severus murmured, smiling. Sirius nodded, squeezing his hand lightly.
The door opened, then, and Remus stepped inside. His face lit up when he noticed Severus' presence, but much like Sirius, he soon frowned. Remus, however, quickly noticed the difference.
"You've done something to your nose." he moved closer, holding Severus' face "I can hear the difference in your breathing."
For some reason, Severus found this oddly intimate. He blushed, clearing his throat.
"Huh—Do you hear me breathing often?"
Remus laughed, "Of course I do. You and everyone else who stays near me. My hearing is quite sensitive." he explained, releasing Severus' face "Are you feeling better, Sev?"
"Yes, yes—" Severus swallowed dryly, tidying his hair in pure nervousness "Euphemia suggested, and I—well, I accepted the change. Do you think I—?" he looked at them both, unsure exactly what he wanted to ask. Had he made the wrong decision? Was he looking a lot different?
"You look great." Sirius promised, smiling "And if it's doing you any good, all the better."
"You haven't changed hardly at all, really." Remus smiled "Still good old Severus!" he patted Severus on the shoulder, and then turned to the suitcases, apparently wanting to get something out of one of them.
When Remus turned around fully, Sirius faced Severus with a small smile and whispered.
"He meant you're still hot."
Severus almost threw his wand at him.