Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

A Force of Nature

I’m going to murder Seokjin, Namjoon thought as he dug his phone out of his pocket. 

I’m sorry but reshoots are running long bc the director can’t get his head out of his ass. I’ll text you when I’m on my way.

Glancing up, he saw Camille Holloway and quickly ducked behind a pillar before she spotted him. Her husband Cal was his firm’s biggest client so there was no actual way to avoid her. Especially at a work event but dammit he was going to try. The Holloways had five daughters and four of them were still single. Their mother, the second wife of a very wealthy media magnate, was relentless in her pursuit of a husband for her daughters. Being on track to become the youngest VP in the history of the company put Namjoon squarely in her sights. He’d tried telling her he wasn’t interested, then said he was in a relationship, but that hadn’t swayed her one bit. He was terminally single, and it was obvious when he never showed up to these work events with a plus one. She finally backed off when he clarified his S.O. was a boyfriend. However, Mrs. Holloway was undaunted, apologizing and proclaiming he just had to bring this boyfriend of his to their next party. His roommate agreed to be his emergency date. Of course it was a night his producers called Seokjin in for a reshoot, and of course it was running long. 

Namjoon sighed in frustration knowing he was stuck. By the time Seokjin finished and fought his way through traffic on the bridge his boss would be ready to hold the raffle and once that was over he could leave. He was going to go hide in the men’s room for a while but when he ducked out of the ballroom; he spotted Mrs Holloway by the restrooms talking to Jackson, his friend from the legal department who looked trapped and miserable. Namjoon felt bad for him, but not bad enough to interrupt the conversation as he headed the other way towards the hotel bar. Besides, Jackson was one of the top lawyers at the firm and could sweet talk his way out of a deal with the devil. He’d be fine. 

There weren’t any open tables so Namjoon slid into one of the few open seats at the bar. He glanced around recognizing a few faces from his party, but most people milling around were dressed in more formal wear. Probably a wedding, he thought. This hotel was the fanciest place in town except the country club, but that was members only, so it was the place to host an event if you wanted to show off. His own firm held two events a year here: The annual holiday gala and the beginning of the summer team appreciation event he was currently avoiding. 

He ordered a scotch with a splash of water and heard a chuckle to his right. It felt like someone was watching him and when Namjoon turned his head he made eye contact with the gorgeous man sitting next to him. He had a strange sense of déjà vu. He was certain they’d met before - one doesn’t forget a face like that - but his brain was coming up empty. The other man watched him for several drawn out seconds with a faint smirk playing on his lips before he spoke up.

“Yoongi’s last birthday party,” he said, “I arrived late, and you were already pretty drunk but it was before you fell into the pool.”

“I did not fall, I was pushed,” Namjoon replied, still annoyed at Seokjin over that one. 

“Whatever you say.” His tone was teasing as he fiddled with the camera in front of him on the bar and Namjoon took a second to look him over, noting the man’s charcoal grey, perfectly fitting suit.

“I’m terribly sorry, but I can’t remember your name,” Namjoon said, glancing behind him.

“Park Jimin, I remember Yoongi called you Joon, but I remember nothing besides that. Are you ok? You seem very jumpy. Can I buy you another drink?”

“Kim Namjoon. Uh, thanks but I really can’t. I’m at a work event and I’m trying to dodge someone so getting too drunk too fast is definitely not a good idea.”

“Who are you hiding from?”

“My firm’s biggest client has five daughters. Their mother is hell bent on getting them married off as soon as possible, and I’m squarely in her sights”

“How very dull and hetero-normative,” Jimin rolled his eyes. 

“Dull and hetero-normative is kind of my thing, but I don’t need Mrs Holloway as a mother-in-law,” Namjoon told him. “I also may have done something really dumb.”

“Are you talking about Camille Holloway?” Jimin asked, and he laughed when Namjoon nodded. “That woman is a force of nature. I helped the wedding planner they used last year and you’re not kidding about being on the hunt. I think the fact that I am so clearly not straight and so clearly not rich saved me from getting her full attention. She’s definitely not someone you’d want to slip up around.” 

“Yeah about that. So I may have told her I have a boyfriend.”

“How did that come up?”

“Because I’m painfully single, I knew my roommate Seokjin would play along, and all the women I’m friends with are all work friends so that’s not an option.”

“You poor thing, and Seokjin couldn’t make it tonight? Wait, do you mean Kim Seokjin? The TV chef?”

“How do you know everybody in this town?” Namjoon paused mid question. “Ah right, Yoongi’s party.”

“So where is the famous culinary heartthrob tonight? Did your boyfriend stand you up?” 

“You’re having way too much fun with this.”

“I’ve just spent my entire evening at the dullest wedding ever in existence. You’re the highlight of my day,” Jimin told him, smiling sweetly.

Namjoon stared at him, struck by an idea but he shook it off immediately. “He’s taping today, and it ran long so he’s stuck at the studio.”

“I see, and why do you need this charade? I know she’s a barracuda, but this all sounds highly unprofessional. Can’t your boss step in?”

“She’s a client not a coworker. Worse, she and her husband run a foundation that is not only my firm’s biggest client but also the main sponsor of our community relations and outreach program which is my department. My boss would hogtie me and carry me to the altar himself to keep them happy.”

“Even if it meant having a gay son-in-law? No grandkids there.”

“Maybe me being straight makes it hard to convince her I’m not. I wasn’t thinking clearly when I said it. I’m not the type to get involved in work drama. I just work hard and stay out of everyone’s business unless it’s business. Tonight was supposed to be my escape hatch. Here’s my super handsome boyfriend, so can you please chill. I’m going to end up engaged before Christmas.” 

“Well, that's unfortunate,” Jimin said, his eyes traveling up and down Namjoon’s body in a way that made him feel very flushed under the attention. 

“Being a pushover or getting married to a Holloway?” Namjoon asked, laughing.

“Both really,” Jimin replied. “But as for your future mother-in -law I have no idea what to tell you, but you’d better think quickly because she’s headed this way.”

“Shit,” Namjoon quickly finished his drink and glanced around wildly. Sure enough, he’d been spotted, and she was making her way over to his side of the bar. Jimin was looking back and forth between them, clearly amused by Namjoon’s predicament. 

Later Namjoon wouldn't be able to figure out what possessed him to actually say it out loud. “This is going to sound crazy,” he began, hesitating.

“Oh, that’s always a fun way to start,” Jimin replied. “Why do I have a feeling you’re going to say something ridiculous?”

“Because I am about to say something incredibly dumb, but it’s also the best I can come up with under pressure. Is there any chance you’d be willing to pretend to be my boyfriend?”

“This is straight out of a bad rom com,” Jimin laughed, but he didn’t say no. “What’s the base pay? Perks? Benefits?” 

They both watched Mrs Holloway stop and chat with a cute couple at one of the tables that ringed the bar. Namjoon recognized Taeyong, the smug bastard from accounts who was a regular thorn in his side. He was the nephew of Jay Park, the company CFO. LPK was a family-owned company so Taeyong was virtually untouchable and knew it so he ran the accounts department like his own personal clique. He was insufferable and always made Namjoon jump through hoops to acquire funding for the firm’s community outreach programs. The same programs that helped rebuild LPK’s reputation after the accounting scandal six years ago, but the head of accounts seemed to make it his personal mission to make Namjoon’s life difficult.

“You should see your face right now, if looks could kill Mr Cheap Suit would be dead right now,” Jimin said with a click of his tongue. 

“I can’t stand that asshole,” Namjoon replied. They both watched as he looked their way and gestured towards them, drawing Mrs Holloway’s attention towards where they were sitting at the bar.

“Oooh looks like he just sold you out. Who knew the drama and intrigue would happen at a corporate event and not the wedding.”

“You don’t go to enough corporate events. Does that count as a perk for the fake boyfriend package?”

“Oh my-you're actually serious?” Jimin looked at him in disbelief.

“Nevermind, it’s a stupid idea. No one would believe it anyway,” Namjoon grumbled before forcing a grim smile onto his face. 

He felt like he was going to his execution, although a wedding wasn’t that far off. Camille was now locked onto their position and getting closer by the second.

“Ugh, fuck it. You’re lucky you’re hot and I’m bored as hell,” Jimin said, barely loud enough for Namjoon to hear.

His brain stopped working. Wait, what did he mean by that? Namjoon turned his head to ask a question, but it was too late and Camille was right there in his personal space taking the seat he’d left between him and Jimin.

“Namjoon,” she cooed, her thick Texas accent drawing out the second syllable, “I was wondering where you ran off to. Are you hiding from me? Cal and Jaeuk hit the scotch pretty hard and once they started talking about soccer, excuse me, football I had to get out of there and find my own fun.”

Namjoon groaned inwardly at her words. His boss was chatty on his best days but drunk Lee Jaeuk was a nightmare. They’d debate sports for at least another hour while everyone waited around for the raffle. The raffle was Mrs Lee’s baby, and she went out of her way to make sure the prizes were spectacular so you didn’t dare leave before then. There was no slipping out unnoticed because while her husband might be intoxicated, she wasn’t - and that woman saw everything. 

“Darling, is this the lovely Mrs Holloway you’ve told me so much about? I’m sorry to keep him from you. It was a long day at work and I wanted to meet up for a quick drink before being around people. I’m nervous as it is.”

Both Camille and Namjoon’s jaws dropped as they turned to look at Jimin. He was wearing a friendly smile but there was mischief in his eyes and Namjoon felt a flash of fear mixed with excitement. He glanced back at Mrs Holloway who was now smiling broadly and extending her hand. 

“Please call me Camille. I can’t quite remember your name I’m afraid. Wait, It’s Seokjin right? I feel like we’ve met somewhere before.”

Jimin’s smile never slipped, shaking her hand with only a raised eyebrow in response for a second longer than was comfortable. 

“Jimin,” he replied, “Seokjin is his ex, and I remember you from when I shot the Choi wedding last November. Interesting that I’ve heard about you Camille but you’ve heard nothing about me.” He gave Namjoon a look that made him feel like he was in big trouble. 

Camille looked chagrined and sputtered, but Jimin reassured her quickly with a wink and a smile. “Mrs. Holloway, Camille, it’s fine I’m just teasing my Joon here. He was with Seokjin for a long time, they’re still good friends actually, but as you can see he’s recently upgraded.” It took everything in Namjoon not to snort with laughter knowing how Seokjin would bristle at that comment. “So tell me about yourself Camille,” Jimin continued, “Joon isn’t one for gossip, and most of what I’ve heard is how helpful you are with his community outreach program.”

“I remember you now. You had that nice navy blue suit while the other guys had that awful powder blue. The Chois are proof that even old money can be tacky as hell. So you’re the one dating our little Joon bug?” Camille asked.

Namjoon rolled his eyes at the nickname, but he saw Jimin’s lips twitch in amusement as their eyes met over her shoulder. In no time, Camille was completely wrapped around Jimin’s finger telling him her entire life story as a beauty pageant queen from Texas as they all split a bottle of Chateau Lafite. After 20 minutes, Mr Lee’s assistant scurried in looking to round up employees to return to the party for the raffle. Her eyes locked onto Namjoon with a stern look until she saw Mrs Holloway next to him and nodded sympathetically. 

Jimin got up and offered his arm to Camille. “I’m counting on you to tell me who’s important enough to remember their names,” he whispered conspiratorially and Mrs Holloway actually giggled. 

Namjoon trailed behind them feeling like he was having an out-of-body experience. This wasn’t happening. He was going to wake up and find out it was a dream or he’d fallen and this was a hallucination. As they passed by others lingering around the ballroom doors Namjoon saw Jackson do a double take at Jimin and Camille giggling and whispering together before shooting a “wtf” look back at him. Namjoon shrugged, unable to explain something he didn’t quite understand himself.

Although there wasn’t much to understand, really. Namjoon realized taking a moment to watch Jimin instead of Mrs Holloway. The man was drop dead gorgeous with dark glossy hair that was long enough to fall into his eyes, but shorter in the back. Perfect skin, dark expressive eyes and a full, perfect pout that made Namjoon wonder if it was as soft as it looked. His suit was impeccable, and Namjoon guessed it was Gucci or some other Italian designer. Even his aura looked expensive. He realized he was staring but so was everyone else. 

As they made their round of introductions Namjoon followed behind, letting Camille do most of the talking although Jimin would regularly ask him a question or make a vague comment praising his community outreach program. Namjoon was exceedingly impressed with the way Jimin took the little bits of conversation between them and spun an entire relationship from that. He’d even charmed the notoriously prickly Mr Holloway who could be quite possessive of his wife’s time and attention.

 It was like watching planets orbit the sun with Jimin shining brightly in the center. It reminded Namjoon of watching Yoongi and his boyfriend Hobi when they went to parties. Yoongi would slink off into a corner or hang in the kitchen chatting with a couple of friends while Hobi was on the dance floor or playing a game. He was the one you could count on to get everyone hyped up and having a good time. At least until they got drunk, then roles reversed and Hobi would quietly sit as Yoongi got into heated debates about music or the evils of capitalism. 

Namjoon was somewhere in between. He was comfortable giving a speech or a presentation in front of a crowd, but it was always after much preparation and practice. Small talk and off-the-cuff comments made him nervous while Jimin seemed to thrive on it. Joon wondered if it was something he’d picked up being a wedding photographer. He found himself growing more and more curious about the man who was supposed to be his boyfriend. 

“What the hell is this?” 

A voice near his ear startled him and he turned to see Jackson standing beside him, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. 

“Since when do you have an actual boyfriend?”

“I told everyone I had a partner,” Namjoon replied.

“You gave some very vague details trying to get Mrs Holloway to check you off her husband hunting list, but then you show up with him? You’re punching above your weight class there Namjoon.”

“Darling, can we sit down? The raffle is about to start, and I’m excited to see what you win,” Jimin said, coming up and taking his hand. 

Namjoon marveled at how small Jimin’s hand was as their fingers intertwined while they headed towards their table. 

“You’re incredible,” Namjoon said, “where did you learn to work a crowd like that? You could be in politics.”

“Thank you, and trust me, with my past, politics is definitely not an option. I’m a photographer, and even though I advertise, most of my jobs come from word of mouth. Since I’m constantly attending weddings, I have to network when and where I can.” Jimin smiled as Namjoon pulled his chair out for him, and they could hear whispers buzzing around them.

“I feel like we’re being watched, or at least that everyone is watching you,” Namjoon said, taking his seat. 

“Oh they are, but trust me plenty of eyes are on you too. You really know how to fill out a suit.” Jimin brushed his fingers across the fabric of Namjoon’s sleeve. “Let me guess, this is a Tom Ford isn’t it?” Namjoon nodded and Jimin continued, “So we can leave after the raffle right? This is the big finale.”

“Yeah, oh you have a ticket too?”

“Mrs Lee insisted, and I didn’t dare refuse. Maybe I’ll win the weekend getaway. That looked nice.”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” Namjoon replied, “I’ve worked here three years and I’ve never won anything. But maybe I’m just not lucky, who knows?”

Jimin’s lips pulled into a pout and Namjoon thought it was the cutest thing he’d ever seen. 

“You’re sitting next to me. I’d say you’re the luckiest person here,” Jimin said, pretending to be offended. 

“You’re not wrong. I get to accompany the best looking and most charming person in the entire room. Maybe my luck has changed,” Namjoon leaned in closer, lowering his voice so no one could hear. “Monday morning is going to be interesting. I’m even willing to bet Mr Lee pulls me into his office for a few questions.”

“You’ll be the most popular boy in school. Everyone will want you to sit with them at lunch,” Jimin teased. 

The squeal of a microphone brought conversation to a halt as the raffle began. First, they got the little prizes out of the way before moving on to the bigger ones. Namjoon laughed as he watched Jackson happily skip up to Mrs Lee to accept his gift certificate for a year’s subscription of meat delivered to his house. Namjoon was shocked when his ticket number was called out. He started blushing when he saw it was a couple’s painting class and noticed Mrs Lee’s sly smile as she handed him the envelope. 

“Damn,” Jimin whispered when the number was drawn for the grand prize, a weekend trip to a beach resort, and Taeyong leapt up in triumph. The entire accounts department had to high five him on his way to collect his prize. Jimin wrinkled his nose in disgust and leaned closer. “I didn’t win, and it went to Mr Cheap Suit? Am I allowed to boo? Is that considered poor form?”

Namjoon inhaled his champagne, sending him into a coughing fit mixed with giggles. Jimin kept making him laugh at the wrong moment and he looked far too pleased with himself for it to be an accident. 

While Mrs Lee called her husband up for some closing remarks Namjoon finally caught his breath and leaned over again.

“Do you want to go get something to eat after this? I at least owe you a decent meal after all of this. You really saved my ass.”

“It’s a nice-looking ass, one worth saving,” Jimin replied, making Namjoon flush warm at the compliment. “Such a shame you had to be straight.”

Sexuality was a strange thing because despite being straight Namjoon felt all tingly when Jimin took his hand as they walked up to the bosses to say their goodbyes. Camille gave Jimin a big hug and made him promise to contact her soon for lunch. 

“Monday morning we’ll talk about those reports first thing,” Mr Lee said, and it was all Namjoon could do to keep a straight face. 

Jackson caught up to him in the hallway. “I didn’t get a chance to properly introduce myself earlier, and I wasn’t about to interrupt Mrs Holloway,” he said extending his hand towards Jimin. “I’m Jackson Wang, attorney extraordinaire.”

“Handsome and modest, I wonder why Namjoon didn’t want us to meet,” Jimin teased. 

“How long have you two been together?” Jackson asked.

“About three months or so, I can never remember when Yoongi’s birthday is exactly but I know it’s in March.”

“March 9th,” Namjoon interjected.

“Ahhh that’s right. Our little Pisces, no wonder he can’t ever make up his mind. So you’re in legal? What is it like working for Natalia? I’m not easily intimidated, but she seems dangerous.”

“She is, but I’m her favorite. Are you a lawyer as well?”

“Wedding photographer, I never was the corporate type.”

“A photographer? How interesting,” Jackson replied.

There was something in his tone that Namjoon didn’t like. Jackson was always too smart and curious for his own good. He glanced around and noticed a few wedding guests still milling around. Before Jackson could ask anymore questions Namjoon stepped closer and put his hand on the small of Jimin’s back.

“Now’s not the time for an interrogation, Jackson,” Namjoon said and then looked at Jimin. “If we hurry, we can get there before it gets too packed.”

“Jackson?” They heard Camille’s voice, and Jackson’s head whipped towards the sound. 

Jimin took the moment to grab Joon’s hand and make a run for the exit. 

They made it out of the ballroom and down to the entrance but as they stumbled onto the street, they both roared with laughter, holding each other up until they could regain their composure. Other guests were trickling out so Namjoon grabbed Jimin’s wrist and they hurried down the street and around the corner. Another half block and they stopped across the street from a massive chain restaurant overflowing with a weekend crowd. He caught Jimin giving him a skeptical look and laughed, turning around and opening the door to the much smaller ramen shop behind them. 

The place was busy but Namjoon snagged a small corner booth and they chatted a bit after they ordered while waiting for their food. 

“How did you become a wedding photographer?” Namjoon asked, nodding at the bag Jimin retrieved from the front desk before they left the hotel. 

“Completely by accident, my third year in college I realized I needed an elective credit, so I took this photography class. Fell in love with it and the teacher took a liking to me. He did wedding photography, was looking to retire soon and wanted to find someone to take over. I told him I had to finish school or my parents would kill me, but that I’d think about it. My senior year I was busy as hell finishing a double major so the summer after I graduated I went to work for him and never looked back. My parents console themselves by getting to tell their friends I’m an entrepreneur. How about you? You look like the type who never disappoints his mother.”

“I have an MBA in International Business, and I might soon be the youngest VP in the history of LPK. My parents are thrilled with my career choices at least.”

“YES!” Jimin pumped his fist, “I found myself a rich sugar daddy, or a pretend one at least.”

Namjoon put a hand to his heart and looked hurt. “You only want me for my money? I’m wounded, I thought we had a connection.”

Jimin snickered, popping a piece of cabbage in his mouth as the server set their plates on the table.

“I’m not gonna get laid, so I might as well get paid. If I’m going to have a boyfriend who’s fake and straight, he’d better be rich. So what exactly does your firm do besides community outreach?”

“We manage foundations and charitable organizations. There’s three divisions: marketing, accounts and legal. Accounts keep track of their donations, grants and things like that. I’m in marketing and we work on various projects and make sure anything that makes the paper is glowing praise. My friend Jackson is in the legal department where they ensure compliance with tax code and laws while monitoring everyone else as well.”

“Your bosses don’t trust you?”

“Mr Lee and Mr Park inherited the company after the elder generation almost destroyed the company. Their uncle was caught embezzling money from the family and hiding it as client expenses. As you can imagine this left everyone a bit paranoid, but I love my job. My boss is great. I get paid to help people. Well, I mostly wade through paperwork for government grants and matching funds for our projects but eventually it goes towards helping people.”

“Who pays for the company events?”

“That’s out of the Lee’s own pockets and generous donations from our clients like the Holloways. Do you mind if I call you around the holidays when it’s time for our annual gala?”

“What about the Lee’s picnic at the end of August?”

“That’s not a company event. That’s at the Lee’s estate and they’re very selective about who gets invited.”

“Have you been?”

“Yeah, I went last year, but it was very last minute so I think someone canceled and they needed a single man for balance. Wait, how did you even hear about this?”

“We’ve been selected to attend. Mrs Lee will send the details later I guess. Oh, I told Camille the same story I told Jackson. I kept it very vague and changed the subject. We can work out the details later.”

“How in the hell? Wow ok, so we’re actually going through with this,” Namjoon said, laughing at the absurdity of it all.  

He saw Jimin looked annoyed and a little hurt by his reaction so he put his chopsticks down and reached across the table and took Jimin’s hand in both of his, squeezing gently as he did. “Thank you for everything. You were amazing. I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun at a work event. I’m so glad I sat next to you tonight. I could never have predicted this is how my night would end. I’d like to take you to dinner and get to know you better so we can make this arrangement work for both of us.”

“Ooh actual fake dating? Just so you know, the flowers and gifts better be real. I like tulips, roses and orchids, and prefer platinum to yellow gold jewelry.”

Namjoon laughed but opened his notes app to jot that down. “When’s your birthday?”

“October 13th, 1995,” he replied, “you?”

“September 12th. I’m almost a year older than you.”

“Why am I not surprised you’re a Virgo?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re very put together, organized. I bet you’re like my friend Jungkook. He’s good at everything.”

“Not even close, I’m clumsy, can’t drive, and can’t cook to save my life. I’m a danger to myself just making instant ramen. Seokjin won’t allow me in our kitchen except to make cereal or a sandwich, and he’s threatened my life if I ever touch his chef’s knives. I’ve concentrated so much on my career I barely have a social life outside of Sunday dinner with my friends. I’m really very dull.”

“I don’t think so, at least not yet. What do you do on your days off then?”

“I read, watch documentaries, hit up an art gallery or museum. It’s mostly boring nerd stuff.”

“You really need to stop putting yourself down. You’re far too handsome and successful for all that, and if you’re going to be my fake boyfriend you’ve got to own your shit. Besides, being smart makes you even more attractive.”

Namjoon blushed. Jimin kept catching him off guard with compliments. He’d never been good at dating. Not like Seokjin who had no qualms talking himself up, Hobi’s sunny disposition that drew people to him or even Yoongi with his quiet, calm demeanor that exuded confidence. Namjoon knew he wasn’t unattractive, but the hookup scene put him off. He didn’t want to be with someone who wanted him for sex or money without caring about him as a person. It was easier to stay single. With Jimin, he at least knew what he was getting into and he couldn’t deny having someone that gorgeous compliment him was a massive ego boost. 

“So what do you do when you’re not at a wedding?” Namjoon asked to get the conversation onto a different topic. 

“I’m boring. I’ll watch tv, workout, hang out with my friends. Work takes up more of my time than I’d like but it pays the bills. When I get the chance, I like to play around a bit, get creative, and see where my mood takes me. Tae’s the genuine artist though. He’s got this eye for things, and he sees the world differently from most people.”

“I’d like to see your work sometime. Art is a passion of mine, but my lack of hand eye coordination means I'm not very artistic. I’m more of a collector.”

“The world needs people who buy art. Everyone is always looking for a freebie or a discount. I had some Instagram model with fewer followers than me, mind you, message me earlier asking for a massive discount on engagement pics in exchange for putting an affiliate code in her bio sending her fans to my site. That happens at least once a week. My friend who does boudoir shoots has it even worse.”

“That’s annoying. People don’t take art seriously enough. It takes time and effort to learn the skills to be a photographer, a painter, even a writer but we as a society don’t value those skills the way we should. Without art, life is drudgery and boredom.” Namjoon shook his head and then glanced up at Jimin. “The boudoir stuff, that’s lingerie and sexy pics right?”

“Yeah, are you interested? I bet you’d look hot in some white lace garters,” he said trying not to crack up as Namjoon choked on his ramen. “I’m kidding…unless you’re into it. We don’t kink shame here at the House of Jimin.”

“I don’t know what to do when you say things like that.”

Jimin looked worried. “If I ever make you uncomfortable, please say something. I’m just playing around but I want to respect your boundaries.”

“No, it’s fine, I, uh, I like it.” He blushed and looked down at the table. 

“You’re cute when you blush, and those dimples are going to be the death of me,” Jimin said and Namjoon knew he had to be bright red right now.

He checked his watch and groaned. 

“What’s wrong?” Jimin asked.

“I didn’t realize it was so late. I’m supposed to be at the gym at 9am or my trainer is really going to kick my ass. Yoongi and Hobi are coming over for dinner so this is going to be an interesting conversation.”

“I’d love to be a fly on the wall for that one. So how do you want to do this? We should prepare a little before going to the cookout.”

“How are you so cool with this?”

Jimin sighed, and his shoulders dropped. “I’ve tried for years to get my work noticed, and get into one of the exhibitions for new and rising artists. I’m well aware it’s not what but who you know. I don’t know the right people, but you do.”

“Fair enough,” Namjoon said as he paid the bill. Jimin was being practical about it and helping him out tremendously. Still, he felt the tiniest bit of disappointment without knowing why. 

As they left the restaurant Namjoon offered to split an Uber so they wouldn’t have to deal with the weekend crowd this late on the train. Jimin lived closer, so it dropped him off first. Namjoon asked the driver to wait as he got out of the car.

“Are you walking me to my door? Such a gentleman,” Jimin smiled, fluttering his eyelashes.

“It’s what any good fake boyfriend would do,” he replied, trying to keep himself from blushing again. 

They stopped at the entrance, and Namjoon felt a rush of nerves. What was with him tonight?

“Would you like to meet for dinner sometime this week? Maybe go over some details of our relationship so we’re on the same page,” he said.

“Sounds great,” Jimin replied, stepping closer to slip a business card in his jacket pocket. 

Raising up on his tiptoes, Namjoon thought his heart stopped as Jimin pressed his lips against his cheek. Jimin pulled back with that same mischievous grin he wore at the hotel just hours ago. 

“Goodnight, Joon bug,” he said with a wink before going inside.

Punching Above Your Weight

Namjoon landed three solid punches enjoying the soft thud it made against the practice pads before his trainer told him to take a break. He picked up his water bottle and downed half of it in two gulps. Across the gym, he could see Jackson sparring with his own trainer. Namjoon was already warming up when he arrived so it didn’t give Jackson a chance to ask questions. He knew his friend wouldn’t be held off much longer. 

Jackson waited until Namjoon was on the treadmill before he pounced, taking the machine next to him and keeping a comfortable pace. 

“That was quite a show last night. Monday morning is going to be a shitstorm for you, and I’m going to be laughing my ass off the whole time. What I can’t figure out is what kind of witchcraft you’re capable of conjuring up the perfect boyfriend. I watched you leave the party to go hide from Mrs. Holloway in the bar, and then you come back with that. It has to be sorcery. Are you a wizard?”

“What do you mean by back with that ?” Namjoon mimicked his tone, looking at him sideways.

“Jimin charmed both the Lees and the Holloways. I’m seriously impressed. To be honest, I never really thought you had a boyfriend. I know you told everyone you were dating Seokjin, but I’ve seen the two of you together as it’s giving me sibling vibes, not a couple. Not to mention the whole thing in Macau.”

“That was a hell of a weekend,” Namjoon replied. “Remember the redhead who wouldn’t leave you alone?”

“Of course I do, But you’re not changing the subject that easily. So if you weren’t dating Seokjin, who were you dating? There’s no way you kept Jimin a secret this long.”

“I never said I didn’t date Jin,” Joon protested.

“Yeah but you didn’t protest when I said it. I always figured you were straight, but you seem very private about it. Although now that I think about it I just assumed you were straight, but all your friends are gay. Have I really missed it this whole time? I hope you’re not offended, I just always thought the Seokjin thing was a way to get the matchmakers off your ass.”

“I’m not offended and you’re right that I never dated Jin. That really was a cover story. I was single until very recently.”

“Regardless of your current relationship I shouldn’t assume things just because we have a similar experience with the Mrs Holloways of the world. It’s exhausting, feeling like there’s a target on your back. She had me pinned for almost twenty minutes, and yes I know you saw me and didn’t come rescue me. It’s ok, I would have done the same thing. I’m the one who told her you were at the bar, but I also knew Taeyong and Bak were over there as well. It surprised me Taeyong unstuck himself from the boss’ ass long enough to leave the party.”

“I think his fiancee needed a break. She looked bored the entire night. Parties aren’t much fun when you don’t know anyone,” Namjoon said.

“Or when your boyfriend treats you like an accessory. Can you imagine having to live with that man?” Jackson asked with a shudder.

“Stop or I’ll have nightmares for weeks. Seeing him every day at work is bad enough.”

“Well, he’s no Jimin, but he seems decent looking enough,” Jackson teased. 

 “It’s not his looks. I couldn’t be with someone who was that much of a narcissist. He’s so cocky, and for no reason.”

“I wouldn’t think that’d bother you. After all you’re friends with me, and your boyfriend seems pretty confident.”

“Confident and cocky are two different things, and the two of you have the looks, talent and personality to back it up.”

“Are you flirting with me Namjoon? No, don’t stop, I like this version of you,” Jackson said, coyly batting his eyelashes before cracking up. “Seriously though man, I’m happy for you. I worried you’d end up married to your work for all eternity. Where did you meet him? Wait, he said Yoongi’s party. Is that the one where you fell into the pool?”

Namjoon realized he was going to face more of these questions Monday morning and needed to be ready with answers. 

“I was pushed, but yes it was that night,” Namjoon said, keeping it vague. 

For once in his life, Jackson decided not to be nosy. “That’s adorable,” he said, looking away and frowning. “It’s pretty brave of you to come out at work like that, especially for a new relationship. Mr Lee is pretty chill, but Mr Park, not-so-much. Jimin must be really special.”

Namjoon’s mind went blank. He never thought of it like that. 

“If I’m honest, I was still planning on Seokjin being my plus one. Jimin had a wedding, and I needed a date. His reshoots ran long, the wedding ended sooner than expected and Mrs Holloway cornered us at the bar. Right in front of Taeyong too.”

“Damn, well I’m glad it worked out for you. Are you hitting the weights after cardio?” Jackson asked as an alarm went off on his watch.

“Nah, too crowded today. I’m gonna hit the pool for some laps then get some food.”

“Sounds good, let’s go.”

Later when he pulled his phone out of his locker, he saw several texts from an unknown number. 

You forgot to get my number last night

Some boyfriend you are

Who’s this? 

Namjoon looked around, unable to stop grinning at the three dots that appeared almost instantly.

That’s it, I’m breaking up with you. I see why Seokjin left your ass.

j/k I was just talking about you 

Of course you were. Who were you talking to?

Jackson started asking questions. I told him we’ve been dating a few months, met through a mutual friend, the basics, no details. 

Then he said something weird.

??????

He said I was brave for coming out at work like that

Didn’t you tell them you had a boyfriend?

Yeah but he said no one really believed me and warned me I was going to get bombarded with questions Monday now that it’s official

I’m sorry, I hope it’s not too bad

Wdym?

Some people might treat you a little differently 

It’ll be fine. My personal life is no one’s business. 

What are you doing today?

Going out with Tae to shoot pictures at the park you?

Just finished working out about to get lunch with Jackson

Sexy, I like it. Good luck Monday btw

The Jimin Effect

“What did I tell you? Namjoon is never late for dinner,” Seokjin said as Joon came in the door and began slipping off his shoes.

“You say that all the time as if I haven’t known him longer than you,” Yoongi replied dryly. 

“You don’t have to live with him though,” Seokjin protested.

Namjoon found them in the kitchen, Seokjin was cooking and Yoongi was leaning against the entryway watching him work. 

“I only moved out a year ago.” Yoongi glanced over as he came around the corner. “Joonie, your roommate is being very dramatic today. What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Namjoon said, reaching into the fridge for a can of beer. “He’s just like that.”

“The lies, the lies, and right in front of my face too you sneaky little traitor.” He waved the spoon he’d been stirring with as if were a dagger, eyes narrowed as he glared at his roommate.

“What are you talking about?” Namjoon was genuinely confused. He looked over at Yoongi who shrugged.

“You broke up with me via text and then you have the nerve to act like nothing happened? You’re lucky I’m so kind-hearted and won’t make you starve tonight, but you owe me flowers and dinner as an apology. It’s the least you can do for being so rude.”

“That’s what has you in a snit? You are so extra sometimes it makes my head hurt.”

“Breaking up with someone over text is really rude though. I expected better from you,” Yoongi chimed in. 

“See, Yoongi agrees with me. You could have at least told me face to face, maybe we could have worked things out.” Seokjin was pouting as he divided up the food between three bowls.

“I can’t believe you. I can’t break up with you if we’re not dating, and in my defense you were almost two hours late. Meanwhile, Mrs Holloway was wine drunk and on the hunt. So it wasn’t a break up so much as a pinch hitter. I needed someone to fill in and by some miracle it worked.” He walked up behind Seokjin and wrapped his arms around his waist, hugging him from behind as Namjoon rested his chin on his roommate's shoulder. “I’ll still take you out to dinner, and buy you flowers because I love you.”

“Apology accepted, now get out of my kitchen. You know the rules.”

Namjoon shook his head with a fond smile as he walked out of the kitchen to go sit at the table with Yoongi who had been sipping his whiskey and cackling at the entire exchange.

“So who’s the lucky guy?” Yoongi asked. “Wait let me get another drink before you tell this story.”

He came back with another round for everyone and sat down. Namjoon glanced back and forth between them and found them both watching him expectantly. Suddenly he felt very shy, knowing how ridiculous it all sounded and that his friends would tease him mercilessly. 

He gave them a quick rundown of the party and Mrs Holloway’s scheming of which they were both aware. Namjoon told them how he panicked when he realized Seokjin wouldn’t be able to make it.

“I guess that’s my fault for having a fake boyfriend who’s a famous tv star, but Mrs Holloway has been pushing me for months to meet my partner. I didn’t know what to do, so I fled to the bar to get some breathing room. I sat down and ordered a drink and realized the guy next to me looked familiar. I’m trying to figure it out without staring when he tells me we met at your birthday party.”

He nodded at Yoongi whose jaw dropped before getting that super serious look that told Namjoon he was concentrating. 

“I can think of two people you would have met through me, but one would be a train wreck and the other you’d have to pay but he’d say yes,” Yoongi said, still looking puzzled. 

Namjoon took a deep breath and looked down, suddenly finding his rice oddly interesting. This was it. 

“Ok so you know your friend Jimin?” Namjoon asked. 

“No fucking way,” Yoongi said.

Seokjin inhaled his food and immediately began choking and it took several minutes to get him calmed down and breathing properly again. 

“You got Park Jimin to pretend he was your boyfriend. Am I hearing that correctly?” Yoongi asked and Namjoon nodded. “I never would have thought of him.”

“Does it break guy code if you’re fake dating your friend’s ex?” Seokjin asked.

“Wait what?” Namjoon whipped his head back towards Yoongi. 

“He’s not my ex, It was a friends with benefits at most,” Yoongi said, glaring at Seokjin and ignoring Namjoon.

“You’ve touched his cock more than twice, that's practically a relationship,” Seokjin replied, smirking as he watched Yoongi’s ears turn pink.

“You of all people have some nerve defining what does and does not make a relationship,” Yoongi sputtered before turning back to Namjoon. “Jimin and I used to fool around ages ago but it was never anything serious. We stayed friendly but not friends. Then Hobi met him at a wedding too. They became friends. That’s how he ended up at my birthday party.”

“I bet that was an interesting conversation when Hobi found out you had a history with his new friend,” Seokjin said.

“I bet it wasn’t.” Namjoon cut in before adding some extra hot sauce to his bowl. “Hobi has never been the jealous type and Yoongi was probably too embarrassed for words.”

“You owned up that quickly?” Seokjin asked.

“Of course not, all I knew was Hobi had a new friend he was going to get lunch with. I guess Jimin saw Hoba’s lock screen, and that’s when they figured it out,” Yoongi replied. “Babe came home telling me he ran into an old friend of mine and I almost died of cringe right there.”

“Why? You could do a lot worse than Jimin,” Namjoon said, bristling.

Seokjin barked out a laugh. “Careful Yoongi, Joonie is the chivalrous type.”

“It wasn’t because of Jimin, so calm your tits. I was embarrassed by the person I was when Jimin knew me. You’ve been dating him for less than 24 hours and you’re already touchy.”

“We are not dating,” Namjoon protested. “It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement, or it will be once we work out the details.”

“When are you seeing him again?” Seokjin asked.

“I’m buying him dinner sometime this week. We have to get our stories straight before we go to the Lee’s cookout in a couple of months.”

“So there’s not just a second date planned, but a third as well. This is definitely getting serious,” Seokjin said.

“Are you ok with this?” Namjoon asked Yoongi. 

“I don’t like it but it’s not up to me. You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into. Jimin is a handful. He might not be the same wild spirit he was back then, but he’s just matured into a different kind of trouble. So once you met him how did you convince him to play along?”

“I told him my sob story, being stood up by the fake love of my life and it turns out he’d seen Mrs Holloway in action. He said the only reason she left him alone is because he’s obviously gay. While we were chatting Mrs Holloway made her way into the bar, walking sideways from the amount of pinot in her system and looking for me.”

“You just asked? Without offering money or sexual favors? That’s a really bold move for you Joonie,” Seokjin said.

“I panicked, asked, said nevermind it was a dumb idea, and then he said ok.”

“Did he really just say ok? What were his actual words?” Yoongi looked suspicious. 

“I think he said you’re lucky you’re hot and I’m bored,” Joon replied.

Yoongi snorted. “Yup that’s Jimin. He loves his straight boys.”

“What do you mean by that?” Namjoon asked.

“Yoongi stop interrupting,” Seokjin was impatient. “Tell us what happened next.”

“Jimin introduced himself to Mrs Holloway, and she asked if he was Seokjin.”

“He wishes he were this handsome.”

“So then Jimin said no you were the ex, and he was the upgrade.”

“That definitely sounds like Jimin,” Yoongi cackled as Seokjin sputtered with outrage. 

“Jimin turned on the charm and next thing I know he’s getting the “please call me Camille” treatment from Mrs Holloway and they’re bonding over a bottle of the hotel’s best wine.”

“Where are you while this is happening?” Yoongi asked.

“Sitting on the other side of Jimin trying to smile while mentally shitting myself. I had no idea what was going to happen or why Jimin was doing this. Then he walks into the party with Camille Holloway on his arm and proceeds to charm every single important person in the room. By the time leave he’s exchanged numbers with Mrs. Holloway, he’s on a first name basis with Cal, and he got us invited to the Lee’s cookout. Oh wait, but also Jimin kept throwing vague compliments my way or asking me questions at the right time to get me involved in the conversation. It made me feel like less of a jackass trailing silently behind this gorgeous man.”

“Are you sure you’re not attracted to him?” Seokjin teased, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Have you seen Jimin? The man is beautiful, but appreciating beauty doesn’t mean I’m attracted to him. I’ll admit it’s hard not to be dazzled watching him work a room. He has this effect on people. It’s like someone flipped a switch and there’s this light in their eyes when they’re around him.”

“This is weird,” Yoongi groaned. “This is so fucking weird.”

“Yoongi if you’re really bothered by this please tell me now, or at least soon after you’ve had some time to think about it. I don’t want this to mess up our friendship,” Namjoon said.

“I’m not bothered. It’s just strange to feel like I randomly went back in time because I’ve seen that Jimin. I know exactly what you’re talking about. His friends called it ‘the Jimin effect’ and it doesn’t matter if you’re male, female, non binary, gay, straight, bi, ace, or what ever flag you may fly Park Jimin will make you smile and get that little flutter. I think he has it down to a science. Oh God, wait until you meet Taehyung. Those two are inseparable and Tae is an absolute menace. He might even be better looking than Mr Worldwide Handsome over here.”

Seokjin gave Yoongi an icy glare and picked up his phone. Namjoon wanted to laugh because he could tell the comment annoyed Seokjin, and Joon knew his roommate was far too nosy to let it slide.

“Are you looking for his Instagram?” Joon asked.

“Yup.”

“You know that’s creepy right?” Yoongi asked.

“Looking at a public IG profile is not creepy. It’s what you do with the looking that can get creepy. Oh damn, he is hot,” Seokjin said, tapping at his screen excitedly. “His hair is so fluffy, and his smile. Is he just all legs? Why is he looking at the camera like that? I’m pissed off and a little in love and I can’t explain either.”

“How the fuck did you find him that fast?” Yoongi asked, looking surprised and quite impressed.

“Please, your boyfriend follows everyone. Sure enough, there’s a Kim Taehyung, and he also follows Jimin. That reminds me I wanted to go back and look at Joonie’s new boy toy. What the fuck is this shit? There’s like 8 posts in the last year. Ooh hold on he went to the beach with Tae and I think I see nipples.”

“Did you just take a screenshot?” Namjoon laughed.

“Yeah, I’m sending it to you now. Jimin has his shirt off, but it’s the thighs I’m looking at. Ok maybe I understand why you so cruelly threw our love away, but that’s ok because now I know Taehyung exists. Your man is hot though, I’m gonna send you some screenshots. He’s got little baby hands though. So Yoongi, is what they say about guys with small hands true?”

“Are you asking if Jimin has a small dick the answer is no. It’s not massive like Namjoon or Taehyung but it’s pretty big,” Yoongi said.

“Don’t even start,” Namjoon said, glaring at Yoongi who shrugged with an evil little smirk. 

“I knew he was perfect. I knew it…I think I’m going to be sick. I didn’t know it was possible for anyone to be almost as handsome as me,” Seokjin swooned, fanning himself dramatically.

“I aspire to your level of confidence Seokjin. It’s truly remarkable,” Namjoon said, exchanging an exasperated but amused look with Yoongi. “I’m curious how you know what Tae’s dick looks like if you were fucking Jimin.”

“We were at a party, smoking weed, drinking, hanging out, and Tae started complaining that he’s horny. So some girl dared him to put a glow in the dark condom on his dick and make it into a lightsaber. If he did that, she’d get her friend Luis to suck him off. Tae is absolutely high as balls so he agrees and goes into the bathroom to put it on. She turns off the light, and he comes back in doing the Star Wars theme music with a towel or something covering his weiner. He drops the covering and starts waving his lightsaber around making the noises and everything. It was fucking hilarious,” Yoongi cracked himself up thinking about it. 

“So did Luis suck his dick afterwards?” Namjoon asked.

“Oh yeah, Luis sucked everyone off at some point,” Yoongi replied.

“Where was I when all this was happening?” Namjoon asked.

“You did that accelerated coursework and moved back in with your parents for 6 months. I was living in that shitty apartment over the laundromat so the entire building smelled like fabric softener.”

“I vaguely remember this,” Namjoon replied, trying to think back. “You had blue hair then didn’t you? I’m pretty sure my brain has blocked most of that year out for my sanity. I almost had to go on blood pressure medication from the stress. That’s why I had to move back home. I couldn’t balance work and school and made myself sick. No wonder I don’t remember any of this.”

“So while Joonie is killing himself to earn a degree, you’re partying it up with hot guys? Seems fair,” Seokjin said. 

“Not quite, I was working two jobs and trying to save money. Working at a restaurant meant I could usually eat for free, and I met a lot of cute college boys waiting tables during the school year. That was before I got into HYBE and had to act like a proper adult. Besides from what I’ve heard of your college years, you're lucky you even graduated.”

“You are not lying,” Seokjin laughed, putting his phone down. “Having rich parents really pays off, literally. You two should be glad you didn’t know me then. I was a menace.” He looked very proud of himself as he said it.

Namjoon and Yoongi met on Joon’s first day of high school and then moved to the city for university. They became roommates when Namjoon started grad school and met Seokjin through mutual friends who became their third roommate and a close friend. When they came together, each was starting his career path; Yoongi found a job as a producer working in A&R, Seokjin had just opened his restaurant, and Namjoon was headhunted while still in school by some of the biggest firms in the country. Last year when their lease was over he moved in with his boyfriend Hoseok while Namjoon and Seokjin wanted to move closer to work. Despite their hectic schedules, they still met up once a week for Seokjin’s family dinner. 

“When do I get to meet your new man?” Seokjin turned the conversation back to Namjoon. “It’s been a while since you were in a relationship. ”

“Believe me, I know. The last girlfriend I had was Eva, and that’s been, what two years ago? I don’t meet many women I don’t work with, and I've always been just fine on my own”

“Not everyone is a bouncing bag of hormones like you Jinnie,” Yoongi chimed in. “I’m not going to lie, I'm extremely curious to see how this plays out, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you develop a crush on Jimin.”

“Our Joonie is far too straight for that, even for someone as pretty as Jimin,” Seokjin replied.

Yoongi ignored him and looked straight at Namjoon. “Jimin is very easy to fall for, and you’ve just got this look when you talk about him.” Suddenly his eyes narrowed. “What is Jimin getting out of this? Although I guess for a photographer, this would be an ideal networking set up. Is that it?”

“Why do you ask questions and then answer them yourself? He said something about expanding his clientele but not having access to the right sort of crowd,” Namjoon said.

“Access that you can provide,” Yoongi finished for him, looking suspicious. “It sounds legit, but I still don’t like it. No, don’t look at me like that. I’m not upset about you dating Jimin. I just worry one of you will get hurt.”

“It’ll be fine,” Namjoon assured him. “It’s just business.”

An Orange-Pink-Purple Mirage

You were right

Oh no, how bad was it?

Not bad, no one said anything to me 

but there were whispers and weird looks

From anyone who matters regarding your job?

Not really, my boss thinks you’re great. 

I’m not surprised though.

 If his wife is happy he’s happy. 

Let me know if anyone gives you trouble

That sounds ominous

It should. 

Are you going to tell me where you’re taking me?

You make it sound like a kidnapping instead of dinner 

And no

Boo, fine, I’ll see you Friday

Looking forward to it

Namjoon spent almost 20 minutes at the florist’s trying to choose the right flowers. He didn’t want to look cheap, but didn’t want to go too over the top for a date that wasn’t a date. The florist finally helped him decide on a bouquet with white lilies, blue orchids and light purple roses. It was beautiful and more expensive than he expected, but it’s not like he didn’t have the money. He really hoped Jimin liked it. Why am I getting nervous? Namjoon wondered as he felt himself start to sweat. He checked his watch as the car pulled up to Jimin’s building, and they had plenty of time before their reservation. He got out and asked the driver to wait. 

Jimin buzzed Namjoon in and several people smiled at him, glancing at the flowers as he passed them in the lobby. He double checked the text message making sure he had the right apartment number before knocking on the door. In response, he heard a muffled voice followed by the door opening. Namjoon’s mind went blank when he saw Jimin, completely unprepared for how stunning he looked. 

“You really brought me flowers?” Jimin sounded so surprised and gave Namjoon a smile that gave him that warm fluttery feeling again. 

“Yeah, I thought it might be nice to play the part, you know? You said flowers and jewelry and it seemed a bit early for jewelry,” Namjoon replied, noting the delicate silver hoops adorning Jimin’s ears and a small platinum Cuban Link chain around his throat. It took everything not to drop his eyes down to where Jimin’s shirt was unbuttoned halfway down his chest.

“It’s never too early for jewelry darling,” Jimin replied. “Do I have time to put these in some water?”

“Of course,” Namjoon answered and Jimin disappeared into the kitchen.

He glanced around the apartment. It reminded him a lot of the one he used to share with Yoongi and Seokjin. Fairly basic and smaller than the one he lived in now, sturdy IKEA furniture and dark grey carpet meant to hide wear and indents. Nothing remarkable except the photographs on the walls. There were three large prints hung around the room. 

Two were black and white still life nature scenes; an extreme closeup of a lizard on a white vinyl fence, and a flower, two petals weighed down by beads of condensation with one about to drop. He studied them carefully before he finally looked at the biggest print they’d hung behind the couch. The frame was dominated by a beautiful sunset falling across a lake making an orange-pink-purple mirage of the sun sinking into itself on the water. In the foreground, bottom left, was a lone figure on a pier standing and gazing out onto the water. The picture was taken right after the figure threw something into the water and it was just beginning to skip across the surface causing the first deep ripples. He stared, taking it all in. How it exuded a sense of isolation without loneliness, something Namjoon found tricky to convey.

“I wonder how long it took them to get this shot,” he mused without even realizing he’d said the words out loud. 

“Three weeks of driving two hours every Monday to get to that lake,” Jimin replied behind him, “we only had 20 minutes of usable light if I was lucky.”

“You took this?” Namjoon whipped around. His eyes reflexively move up and down Jimin’s body taking in the fitted white button up, halfway undone exposing a decent amount of skin, tight black trousers and soft black chelsea boots. “Wow uh you look amazing. I meant to tell you that before but I got nervous with the flowers and all.”

“You’re cute when you’re nervous. I love the flowers and think it’s very sweet. To answer your question, yes that one is mine as well as the ladies shadowbox there. Taehyung took those two, but he’s thinking of switching out Gus for this really cool shot he got of an owl sitting outside his window. Daphne won him 2nd place in the Park Gallery Rising Star show last year.”

“Which one is Gus?” Namjoon asked.

Jimin laughed and pointed at the lizard. “Augustus Exemplar, King Lizard Emperor of the Backyard Fence, and this is Daphne, The lady of the night rains.” He put his hands up as Namjoon burst out laughing. “I don’t name them, that’s all Taehyung. I think I’m ready. Shall we go?” 

“Of course, the car is waiting downstairs. I made reservations for 8:30 so we still have plenty of time given that we don’t have to park and then walk half a mile.”

“The beauty of Uber,” Jimin commented, “let me get my jacket.”

“Allow me,” Namjoon replied, grabbing the deep purple, almost blue black sport coat and holding it out for Jimin. “It’s actually a car service, not an Uber. Where we’re going, I wanted to pull up in something nicer.” 

Jimin’s eyes got wide. “Where are we going?”

Namjoon smiled, smoothing the jacket over Jimin’s shoulders. “I guess you’ll see.”

Jimin smiled as Namjoon opened the door to the sleek black Mercedes town car so he could slide in. The restaurant wasn’t far, and aside from a little chit chat they didn’t talk much, both lost in thought. Jimin gasped as they pulled up in front of St. Andre. The restaurant was notoriously expensive and it was impossible to get a table without knowing the right people. Namjoon knew the right people and they were quickly escorted to a table by the window. 

“Thank you,” Jimin murmured as Namjoon pulled his chair out for him. 

“I thought it would be a good idea to get comfortable with the idea of being in a relationship with someone. I need practice so I’m not so awkward. It’s been ages since I’ve been on a proper date, and I’m a bit rusty.”

“You’re off to an excellent start. Several women are eyeing you jealously, and I would be too if I were them,” Jimin smirked.

“I doubt that. How can they see me when everyone is watching you?” Namjoon asked.

“Very smooth,” Jimin grinned, opening his menu. “I think you underestimate how hot you look in that tight turtleneck with your glasses. It’s giving a very sexy professor vibe. I like it. Wow, this place is really expensive,” his eyes bugged out looking at the prices. ”Maybe I should let you order.”

“Maybe drinks and a starter? Their steaks are fantastic, and if you’re not in the mood for beef, they have a duck leg confit that is excellent as well,” Namjoon said.

“Steak sounds perfect. I trust your judgment.” 

Jimin set his menu down and Namjoon noticed the smudges of smokey eyeliner and shiny lip gloss he’d applied before they left. He dragged his eyes back to his menu not wanting to get caught staring at Jimin’s mouth. What the hell was wrong with him? Glancing around the room he caught more than one set of eyes looking back. Most were smiling but one lady was staring at their table with such a look of disgust it knocked the breath out of him. It took his brain a minute to click onto what was happening. Then he started to get angry, but also confused because something like this had never happened to him before and he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to react. 

“Hey,” Jimin whispered, grabbing his hand across the table, “ignore it. People like that aren’t worth the attention.”

“How did you know,” Namjoon began before Jimin cut him off.

“She’s been giving me the stink eye since we sat down. She’s just mad she spent all that money to get that face and I’m still prettier than her.” 

Namjoon snickered and Jimin giggled, and he decided to ignore the judgmental bitch so he could enjoy his dinner. They were here to get used to “being in a relationship” but it didn’t feel like they needed any practice. 

Their server appeared and Namjoon ordered a gimlet for Jimin and a manhattan for himself, and pate de campagne to start. He decided on vichyssoise for the soup and a warm mesclun salad with goat cheese and apple compote to give a pleasant contrast of temperature and textures before keeping it simple by ordering steak frites as the main course. 

“Ok, that was very attractive. I don’t understand how you’re still single. So single in fact that you’re willing to fake a relationship with a man.”

“I told you, I’m an idiot. At the time, saying my roommate Seokjin was my boyfriend seemed like a simple solution. I’m getting to the age where I’m supposed to settle down, and while Mrs Holloway might be the worst of the marriage mothers, she’s not the only one. I never found the one, although if I’m honest work takes up so much of my time I haven't been looking. It doesn’t help that I’m terrible at relationships”

“Have you ever been in love?” Jimin asked.

“Not really, I’ve been exceptionally fond of a few people, but never like stars in my eyes in love. My high school girlfriend, Nari, when we broke up to go off to uni it hurt, but not that much different from leaving my other friends behind. I don’t really do hookups, and with my hobbies I just kind of keep to myself,” Namjoon replied.

Jimin cocked an eyebrow as he sipped his drink. “What kind of weird shit are you into?” 

They paused as the soup arrived and Jimin startled when he tried it.

“It’s cold?” he whispered, looking at Namjoon questioningly.

“Yeah, vichyssoise is a chilled potato and leek soup. If you don’t like it we can get something else.”

“No, it’s delicious. It just caught me off guard. Now I believe you were going to tell me all the kinky weird hobbies you have.”

Namjoon sputtered with laughter. “I promise I’m not that interesting. I like documentaries, museums and collecting art. To most people that might seem boring or pretentious. Then you have my childish side that obsessively binges anime and collects action figures. I even wrote fanfic for a while when I was younger.”

“Ooh you wrote smut?”

“What? No, it was action stuff and fixing the ending of a quest they didn’t get right.”

“Sure it was,” Jimin smirked. “Keeping your porn a secret from me? That’s fine.”

“You wanna talk about keeping secrets? Why didn’t you tell me you were Yoongi’s ex?”

Jimin’s eyes crinkled into crescents before he threw back his head, laughing hard enough to almost fall out of his chair. It took him several seconds and drained half of his drink to regain his composure enough to talk. 

“I woke up to a 8 texts starting with ‘What are you doing to my Namjoonie’ and ending with ‘this is weird it’s so fucking weird’. I’m guessing Hobi gave him my number.”

“Isn’t it awkward being friends with Hobi given your history with Yoongi?”

“Not really, it was a bit strange at first but only if they were both around.”

“I can’t see Hobi being the jealous type.”

“Hoseok would maim anyone who really tried to threaten his relationship,” Jimin laughed, “but he’s also very secure with his boyfriend. So me being one of many guys that Yoongi banged back in his grubby post college days doesn't bother him. Plus it’s not like we’re still attracted to each other. We moved on from that when we stopped fucking.”

“Why did you break up?” Namjoon asked as the salads arrived.

“We stopped messing around after he slept with my best friend. I told them it was fine, and it was, but I was super insecure. It wasn’t so much that I had feelings as that I felt like I couldn’t measure up to my friend. Once someone slept with Jungkook, who practically lived at the gym, I didn’t think they could possibly want me. They hooked up but then it got weird between them which made it uncomfortable to all hang out. That’s around the time Yoongi met Nate and disappeared off the face of the planet.”

“That relationship was a train wreck.” 

“Nate was a toxic little shit. One time I was with Kook and we ran into them at Starbucks and he flipped his shit. You could tell Yoongi was embarrassed and was trying so hard to placate him but Nate just kept yapping like an angry chihuahua. I really don’t know how or why he put up with it,”

“Me neither,” Namjoon replied, “when I came back I barely recognized Yoongi. He was so shrunken and sad. He wouldn’t tell me what was really going on, and I was too stupid to figure it out. I mean, I knew Nate was a horrible boyfriend, but I didn’t know he was worse than I ever thought. When Yoongi told him he was moving in with me instead of him Nate was pissed, but when he met Seokjin shit really hit the fan.”

“I see you’re bringing your ex into this conversation,” Jimin teased. “I looked at his Instagram and this Seokjin is quite handsome. I can see why you were with him so long, especially if he’s the one who got rid of Nate. Also, while we’re on the subject. Do you have any psycho exes I need to worry about? One time I was on the back of this guy’s motorcycle, letting him take me for a ride before I was gonna ride him, when a car started trying to run us off the road. It was a whole chase scene. He’s driving up on the sidewalk, making sharp turns, and she’s right on our ass. She even hit someone’s mailbox. I’m screaming my head off because I’m terrified and furious all at the same time and then finally I hear sirens and see the car getting pulled over. We went another mile or so, with me still screaming in his ear, until he pulled over in a gas station to check to see if his bike was damaged.  I hopped off and called Taehyung right away. While I waited he actually tried to convince me to still hook up with him. This was even after he admitted that the woman who just tried to kill us was actually his wife.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Namjoon said.

“I was going to murder him myself right there but there were too many cameras and too many witnesses. I only wish I could have seen what happened when his wife finally confronted him.”

“No need to get your hands dirty when she was going to kill him anyway.”

“Right?” Jimin snickered. “He was hers to kill. She earned it.”

The server arrived with their steaks and Jimin’s eyes lit up as they set the plate in front of him. 

“This looks delicious,” he said to Namjoon before looking up at the server who was pouring their wine. “Thank you.”

“Can I get you anything else?” they asked, leaving the bottle.

“Yes, actually,” Jimin replied. “What’s the name of the server with the long braid with the purple streak who was waiting tables in that section?” He nodded his head slightly toward the table Namjoon noticed earlier.

“That’s Katya, is everything ok?” they asked, frowning slightly.

“Everything is wonderful,” Jimin reassured him. “You have a wonderful staff and I can tell you take great pride in making your guests comfortable. I appreciate that, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” they replied before walking away looking confused.

“What was that about?” Namjoon asked.

“I’ll explain later when we have more privacy,” Jimin said, his voice low but he was smiling. He looked down at his plate. “This really looks so good. I was expecting you to order something fancier like the first two courses, but this is perfect.”

Namjoon grinned, trying not to look too pleased with himself. He enjoyed mixing it up to start because french onion soup and a caesar salad is something you can get anywhere, but St Andre was known for its dry aged beef. So a 10 oz NY strip with hand cut fries was as simple as it was delicious. He watched Jimin dive in feeling himself flush at the obvious pleasure he took from his meal. 

“So I guess we should get down to business. It’s why we’re here isn’t it?” Jimin asked before dipping his fry into the bordelaise sauce served on the side.

“Oh right, I almost forgot,” Namjoon replied. 

Jimin winked at him before speaking. “I told Camille we’d been together 5 months and met through a mutual friend. You and Seokjin,” he dramatically scrunched up his face and rolled his eyes as he said the name, “split a few months before we met. You weren’t looking to get involved with anyone new but then we met and it just clicked.”

“Most of that is the truth. That makes it easier to remember.”

“You don’t lie very often do you? The most convincing lies are usually based in truth. Not that I make a habit of being dishonest, but I work in the wedding industry and being too honest can cost me money.”

The conversation came in stops and starts as they concentrated on their food. Namjoon filled Jimin in on the history of the firm including the accounting scandal that almost sank the firm and got Mrs Lee’s uncle jailed for fraud and tax evasion. 

“I was part of the group brought in after they fired most of the old guys when Jaeuk Lee finally took the reins as CEO without his wife’s family breathing down his neck. He saved the company, but when I came in, it was still going through a major transition. That’s how you have so many people around my age in some of these higher positions.”

“That makes sense. How old are the Lees?” 

“I’d say he’s 50, and she’s a bit younger. The Holloway’s have a larger age gap because she’s his second wife.” 

“The Lees seem nice enough. Camille is a firecracker, but Cal is an ass.”

“I try to avoid them as much as possible although she’s chilled out considerably since she met you. I no longer feel like sharks are circling me, but now it seems everyone is watching me.”

“They are, and not all of them in a good way so watch your back. Who was the one in the black suit with the dark silver highlights in his hair? You two seemed friendly enough.”

“Jackson? Yeah, he’s with legal and has an entire team of minions. We’re work friends mostly, we both go to the same gym, and we’ll get lunch sometimes if we’re going at the same time. Why?”

“He kept looking at us and I didn’t know if he was being nosy or genuinely interested.”

“Knowing Jackson, probably both. Oh, if we’ve been dating for four months then you would have met my eomma when she came to visit last month. She’s a wonderful woman, and a fantastic cook; one of the few people Seokjin lets into his kitchen with him.” Namjoon pulled out his phone and showed Jimin as he scrolled through a few pictures of them together on this last visit. 

“You look just like her. Are you an only child?”

Namjoon shook his head and put his phone away. “I have a sister. She’s three years younger than me and in law school. You?”

“I have a brother the same age as your sister. He lives close to my parents and helps them run their restaurant. I love my family, but I needed to get away and go somewhere I could really be me. I’m full but I kind of want to see what you’d get for dessert.” Jimin said, refilling their wineglasses.

“They have a poached baba with a passionfruit glaze and pineapple compote topped with vanilla ganache montee that is incredible. Would you like to split one?”

“I didn’t understand half of that but yes, please.”

When it arrived Jimin looked across the table with a sly smile and opened his mouth, waiting to be fed. Namjoon gulped, feeling his heartbeat soar he dug his fork into the soft bread topped with rum syrup, making sure to get a decent amount of whipped cream before holding his fork out. Jimin first stuck his tongue out, swiping it through and scooping up half the whipped cream ganache before looking him dead in the eye as he wrapped his lips around the syrup soaked bread. Closing his eyes, Jimin leaned back as he chewed, a look of pure bliss crossing his face. Namjoon froze, staring raptly until he realized he was getting hard, making him gasp.

The sound made Jimin open his eyes, making eye contact as he did. Something Namjoon was not prepared for so he quickly dipped his fork back into the dessert and offered up another bite. He looked surprised but Jimin accepted it looking only slightly less obscene as he enjoyed the food. 

Namjoon’s eyes wandered until they landed on a woman looking back at him. Unlike the lady from earlier, she had a dreamy almost awestruck expression on her face, as if she were watching a performance. Well he thought, in a way she was, but they must have been very convincing from the way she was smiling at him. His gaze drifted a few tables over where a man was watching Jimin, his eyes full of lust and desire, practically licking his lips until he noticed Namjoon looking at him and quickly dropped his eyes. A surge of protectiveness, no, possessiveness hit him hard, and he had the sudden urge to get up and throw hands with this guy for having the nerve to eye fuck his date so lewdly. Instead Namjoon took a deep breath through his nose and clenched his jaw to reign in his temper. 

“Has anyone told you how attractive you are when you’re angry?” Jimin asked, taking the fork from him.

He dug into the dessert and held out a bite for Namjoon who opened his mouth for a taste. Remembering they were being watched the heat rushed to his face but across the table Jimin was smiling brightly at him so he accepted another forkful. They went back-and-forth trading bites and giggling together. It was a bit messy and for a second Namjoon was sure other people would think they were immature idiots but Jimin was waiting for another taste and Namjoon was having too much fun to look around and let himself worry about it.  

After dessert they finished the wine as Jimin told him about the recent engagement of two of his closest friends. He’d offered his services for free as a wedding gift but the couple refused saying they wanted him to enjoy the moment fully with them.

“Awwwww that’s sweet,” Namjoon said. “I bet it’s a weird feeling though, like being at work but off the clock. That’s prime wedding season so I imagine you’d be at a wedding regardless that weekend.”

“Very true, I refused three bookings for that day. However, the father of the bride in one of those weddings used me for his third marriage and they loved their wedding album. I was one of the first vendors he contacted when they were still in the planning stages, and when I told him there was no way he offered to double my fee. When I still refused, he made them move the wedding a week ahead so I could shoot it.”

“Wow, that’s very impressive,” Namjoon said, as he gave the server his card without even glancing at the bill. “I’d like to see more of your work. From what I can tell you have a brilliant eye.”

Jimin cocked an eyebrow and gave him a slight once over. “If you say so.”

On their way out Namjoon noticed the server with the long braid lingering by the hostess stand, but couldn’t remember her name. 

“Katya,” Jimin greeted her with a warm smile. “Thank you for that.”

“No problem,” she replied, smiling back. “I didn’t want her making you uncomfortable. You two make such a cute couple and you looked like you were enjoying yourselves. I didn’t want to let anyone ruin your night.”

Namjoon placed a hand on Jimin’s lower back and whispered in his ear. “I left my phone at the table. I’ll be right back.”

He found the maitre d’ and asked if he could leave Katya a tip as well. While they figured it out the man asked for more details about what happened. Namjoon shrugged and looked back at the hostess stand where they were still chatting. 

“I’m not sure, but she made his night better and I want to say thank you,” he replied. 

When he was finished, he met Jimin by the door. They were both a little sleepy from the wine so they sat in contented silence as the car rode through the light evening traffic. It was getting late, and the downtown businesses would close soon but there were still some late shoppers milling around. Namjoon felt something move across the back of his hand and looked down to find Jimin using his finger to draw circles with the lightest touch.

“What did you do back there?” Jimin asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You said you left your phone, but I never saw your phone. What did you really forget?”

“I wanted to tip Katya too.”

“I didn’t even tell you what happened.”

“I know but whatever it was made you not only ask for her name but personally thank her. I’ve found money is a fantastic way to show gratitude for excellent service.”

“How much did you give her?”

“I’m not telling,” Namjoon winked. “So what did she do?”

“She dealt with that old hag that was glaring at me. She checked that table way more than necessary and hustled them out of there ASAP, but she also kept blocking the lady from my sight line so we couldn’t see each other. It was outstanding.”

“Oh wow, I didn’t even notice.”

“That was the point,” Jimin replied as they pulled up to his building. 

He walked Jimin to the door again. Standing face-to-face Jimin took both of his hands into his smaller ones and squeezed. 

“Thank you for tonight. This was the best date I’ve ever been on, even if it wasn’t real. You seemed to have a good time too, or maybe you’re just a really convincing actor,” Jimin said.

“I had a great time. It definitely wasn’t an act,” Namjoon replied. He found that he couldn’t stop looking at Jimin’s lips and then realized he wanted to kiss them. 

He forced himself to look away and Jimin giggled, leaning up on his tiptoes and giving Namjoon a kiss on the other dimple, opposite the one from the first kiss. 

“Goodnight Joon bug.”

Namjoon groaned. “I hate that you’re making me like that stupid name.” 

“It’s cute,” Jimin insisted, booping Namjoon’s nose before spinning on his heel and entering the building. 

Namjoon’s brain was buzzing the entire ride home and Jimin’s touch seemed to linger on his skin. 

 **

Seokjin was in his chair angrily cursing at the game he was playing when Namjoon arrived home. He glanced up and immediately hit pause when he saw Namjoon’s face. 

“Are you ok? You look upset. Come here and sit down. I’ll get you something to drink.”

“No, you don’t need to do that. Nothing’s wrong, I'm just tired.”

“You’re such a shit liar. Just sit down,” Jin replied from the kitchen.

Namjoon took off his jacket, tossing it aside as he plopped down on the couch. Balancing his elbows on his knees he put his head in his hands trying to calm his racing thoughts.

“Did something happen with Jimin? I’m sorry your date didn’t go well,” Seokjin asked setting a cup of tea on the table before sitting down next to him on the couch.

“Oh no, it’s not that. Everything was fantastic. I ordered just like you told me to and it was perfect. I can’t thank you enough for getting that reservation. Jimin loved it, and the staff was wonderful.”

“So nothing happened at the restaurant?” 

“Well, there was this one lady who was looking at Jimin with disgust, but we ignored it and the staff got her out of there. To be honest, I got so distracted I was oblivious to most of it.”

“You’re always oblivious when it comes to dating,” Seokjin joked, but Namjoon just shook his head. 

“It’s not like that. You know what this is,” he said.

“Joon, I’m not sure anyone really knows what this is, even you.”

“It’s a business arrangement, but I feel very comfortable around him.”

“That’s a good thing isn’t it?”

“Of course, but sometimes it makes it feel more real, and it’s uncomfortable.”

“Jimin made you uncomfortable?” Seokjin asked, confused.

“What? No, no Jimin didn’t do anything. Maybe uncomfortable isn’t the right word, but I don’t know what word to use. It’s all very chaste, almost like we’re courting. Holding hands, a kiss on the cheek, but it’s not like we’re trying to jump into bed anyway. There’s no end game.”

“You know it’s ok if you ever wanted to date him for real right?” Seokjin asked, softly.

“What?” Namjoon’s eyes snapped over to him, wide with alarm. “But I’m not…it’s not..he’s..and I’m…not that it’s a bad thing.” He was red in the face and tripping over his words. 

“Joon, shh shh calm down.” Seokjin put his arm around Namjoon’s shoulders pulling him closer to his side. “I’m not saying you are. I’m not saying you have to. I’m not even suggesting you should because I don’t know him so I can’t judge that, but you’re allowed to explore things that make you happy. When you left you were bouncing with excitement and then you came home looking super serious. So if everything went well, and Jimin did nothing that means you’re probably in your head again overthinking something. You seem to have really clicked with Jimin, at least on a platonic level. It kind of reminds me how you and I became friends so quickly but I’m convinced my cooking had something to do with that.”

“It did,” Namjoon replied, and they both laughed. 

“Enjoy having a new friend and don’t let that big brain of yours ruin it. Just go with it. In fact, that gives me a brilliant idea.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Pssshht all my ideas are brilliant so don’t start with me. What if we had Jimin over for dinner?”

“That sounds like a terrible idea,” Namjoon deadpanned.

“You’re just mad that big brain of yours didn’t think of it first. Come one, it’ll be fun. He’s going to meet us all eventually, and he’s already well acquainted with Yoongi, or he was at least. Besides, I’ll cook something extra special. It’s not often you hear of someone’s ex boyfriend willing to whip up a feast for the man who replaced him. Invite him for Sunday dinner next weekend, and tell him to bring his hot roommate with him.”

“I’ll consider it, but I’m leaning towards no. Besides, I’m sure Jimin is busy most weekends. He runs an actual business you know. It’s not like he’s waiting around to be summoned to play fake boyfriend.”

“He doesn’t have to play at anything. I simply want to invite your friend over for dinner.”

“Like I said, I'll think about it. Thank you for the tea,” he said, draining his mug and getting up to carry it into the kitchen. “I think I need to go lie down. All that food and wine is making me sleepy.”

Namjoon was lying, and Seokjin saw through it but let it go allowing him to retreat to his room. He laid on his bed for hours, barely hearing the music playing in his headphones as he stared at the ceiling replaying the entire date over in his mind. He woke up at 6:15 am only a couple hours after falling asleep sometime after 3. When he fell back asleep he dreamed he was running from something he couldn’t see. Yoongi and Jin were trying to help him, but whatever was chasing him kept gaining on him. He heard Jimin call out to him and saw Yoongi and Jin fall right before something tripped him and he woke up sweating. 

It was still too early to be awake on the weekend so Namjoon got up and went into the living room. He piled the couch pillows to one side and pulled a soft blanket over him before turning on the tv and finding one of his favorite art documentaries. Anything to keep his mind occupied. Anything so he didn’t have to think for a while.