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A beautiful pie lies on the table, its sweet smell contrasting the coffee.
Winry and Granny are already eating, though they’re mostly drinking the coffee, leaving the pie for Ed and Al.
Speaking of which…
“Where’s Al?” Edward questions.
“Oh, he might be changing upstairs,” Winry replies, only to frown in realization. “Wait, how long has it been?” She even looks at the clock.
“Give him time, you two,” Granny scolds them. “He doesn’t need to be coddled all the time.”
True, indeed, this time Ed agrees with her.
But his big brother instincts are freaking out.
Maybe he’s wrong. Maybe Alphonse is fine. He doesn’t need to worry so much.
Still, he needs to at least make sure things are fine. Then he’ll leave his brother alone.
With that, Ed goes upstairs on his own while the Rockbells drink their coffee. He sees that the bathroom door is the only one closed, so he assumes that Al must be inside.
Ed doesn’t waste time to knock on the door softly, not wanting to annoy Al.
“Al? Are you there?”
He hears… a small gasp.
“Oh, Brother! Is the pie ready?” Al groans. “I’m sorry, I just- I need a little more time here.”
“It’s- It’s fine, Al.” With how tense his younger brother sounds, Ed bites his lip. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine , Ed. Just give me a minute.”
Yep. The impatience is not convincing.
“Al, if you need help with anything–”
“I don’t NEED help! Just go away!”
Ed crosses his arms instead of yelling back. “Now that’s one huge indicative that you need help, don’t you think?”
“It’s-!” Al sighs. “It’s nothing, Brother.”
“It doesn’t sound like nothing.”
There’s some thoughtful silence before yet another sigh, a more defeated one this time.
“Can I come in?” Ed suggests.
Al hesitates. “Just promise me you won’t freak out.”
That is not reassuring.
Still, “I promise.”
“Okay. Just…”
He hears some shuffling – and… pained noises, and Ed is fearing for the worst – before the door is unlocked. Al doesn’t greet him there, though, instead he leaves the door open for Ed to go inside.
Alright nothing seems to be wrong, if not for…
“ Oof ,” Ed lets out at the purple and red, scratched knee. That looks really painful.
“It stopped bleeding, at least,” Al says, holding a bag of ice. He puts on the wound rather rushedly, so the older Elric reaches out to him to do the task for him. With some quiet resistance, Al lets him do the ice for him.
“You could’ve told us you were hurt,” Ed gently reminds him.
Al rolls his eyes. “You guys already do everything for me, I want to be able to look after myself, too.”
“It’s okay to need help, Al.”
The younger Elric shakes his head. Ed is almost surprised to see his little brother being so stubborn now, when things back then were the opposite.
He feels an ache in his chest when he sees Al’s eyes tearing up, and his thin arms trembling as they try to hide it.
“What happened?” Ed asks.
“I just tripped.” Al can’t even look back.
“Al…” Ed might even sound like Mom right now.
The other groans in frustration. “Okay, fine. I was having my walk as usual, when I saw a couple kids riding on their bicycles. I thought it was nice because it reminded me of how badly we begged Mom to get us bicycles, too.” His voice only becomes wetter. “But on my way home, the kids went straight in my direction, and one of them pushed me really hard. At first I thought it was an accident, or just them being kids, you know, when I realized that they were laughing at me while I could barely walk. They didn’t help me stand up. They didn’t even say sorry. They just… thought I walked funny, I guess. I swear I could hear them laughing from afar, even when I was already home.”
Ed, to no one’s surprise, feels flame burning in his eyes just imagining someone so cruel doing this to his baby brother. He knows that’s exactly the thing he should strive to improve, to not meddle in Al’s life.
“I’m sorry for saying this, Brother,” Al anticipates, “but in that moment? I wanted so badly to be the armor. So I wouldn’t get hurt. So those kids would think twice before making me miserable. I wanted to be the hero again, the hero that everyone respects.”
Al’s lips tremble.
“But no,” he sobs, “I’m just the same loser who cries over everything and who can’t stand up to some dumb kids.”
Alphonse may be fourteen, nearing fifteen, but right now? He sounds exactly like the ten year old that Ed lost on that daunting night. Of course, regardless of age, Al has the right to be upset that someone has treated him like garbage.
Ed has unfortunately taken too long to notice the guilt that consumes Al. He remembers his little brother already hesitating to tell Ed that their peers picked on him whenever the Elrics were separated for any reason. Al always hesitated because he knew that Ed would probably use alchemy to threaten them. Mom was softer and more comforting, and she actually went to school to stop the bullying. It never actually got better, because after Mom died, the bullies were even crueler. However, Ed and Al were too busy worrying about bringing their mother back, and they pretty much abandoned school anyway.
Still, after their first transmutation, Al’s guilt only grew. To this day, he blames himself for existing at all. For, in his eyes, taking Ed’s limbs away from him.
Al always apologizes. He always pushes down his feelings and focuses on others instead. Edward knows his brother didn’t have much of a choice as an armor… but nowadays, now that Al can cry again, he’s so ashamed of his own tears. Al is holding them back because he doesn’t want Ed to see them, nor to blame himself for them.
Al looks so miserable that Ed wants to wrap him up in a blanket and protect him and never let him go again.
Yet of course, he has to deal with the wound first.
“Al,” Ed whispers, “it’s okay to cry.”
His baby brother shakes his head in denial again, only for more tears to spill out, even if he tries not to release them.
“It’s okay,” Ed repeats.
“N-No, it’s not.”
“You have the right to be sad. To be angry. You’re not a loser or a crybaby, you’re sensitive and there’s nothing wrong about being sensitive,” the older brother insists. “It’s part of you, Alphonse, and I love it as much as I love everything about you. Even those feelings you’re afraid of showing me.”
“Brother…”
“It’s not your fault.” Ed cups Al’s thin cheek, making the latter lower his hands. The former is feeling the bones in his fingers, tenderly caressing them. “None of this is your fault.”
Al, finally, gives in, melting in his brother’s left hand. He whimpers like a little boy, that he is indeed. Following that, Ed pulls Al for a much needed hug, making sure the latter’s legs are spread so the former doesn’t hurt his wounded knee. Ed lets Al cry everything he needs to let go, even if the older Elric’s knees are going to kill him. Everything is worth it to make Al feel better.
It’s so different, hugging Alphonse like this. His brother is not a giant, but he’s not small like a child. He’s a teenager with the weight of his past and the lack of humanity he was trapped in for too long. Al is a boy, neither too big or too small, and a boy that is in need of care, that has needed care for a long, long time. Only that nobody has actually given said care to him, hence why Al cries like it’s his first time crying since returning.
Ed might still feel some guilt over everything Al has gone through, but now he tries to accept it and focus on Al, on making him feel safe to come out.
They hug each other long enough for the bag of ice to melt.
“It’s fine,” Al dismisses it, likely knowing Ed would point it out. “It doesn’t hurt that much anymore.”
This time, he sounds more truthful. And he sounds like a mess.
Better that than repressed, or so Ed would say.
He is wiping his wet face for Al, smiling sadly.
“... Ed?” Al calls him.
“Yeah?”
“You didn’t think about going after those kids, right?”
Ed hums.
“As a matter of fact…”
Al knows the answer.
“Brother.”
“I just wanted to talk to them, jeez! And it’s not like I have alchemy, anyway.”
“ Brother .”
“ Al .”
“Don’t.”
“I was just kidding,” Ed smirks. Then it drops in concern. “Seriously, though, I think we could do something about what happened. But it’s your call, Al.”
Al contemplates.
“... is it okay if I just… want this?” He shyly asks, gesturing at their moment of intimacy with his eyes.
Ed’s smile grows bigger.
“Of course, Al.”
Then, he smothers Al with kisses, like annoying older brothers do.
“Hey!” Alphonse protests.
“Kissing Al’s face a day keeps the bullies away.”
“Ugh! Source?”
“Mom, obviously.”
“Yeah… can’t argue with that.”
When Ed stops, Al looks drained.
“Do you want to lie in bed?” He suggests. “I could bring some pie for you.”
Al sniffs. “I… I don’t want to be alone in my room.”
“I could stay with you, if you want.”
“I-Is that okay?”
“Of course.”
Ed gives him one last kiss, on the forehead, as he gently squeezes Al’s shoulders.
“I love you,” he tells him, like he always does.
“Yeah,” Al smiles. “I love you, too.”
That’s all he needs.
To be reminded he’s loved.
Especially in the hard times.
And Ed promises he’ll do so until the end.