Chapter Text
The Secret Board of Shadowy Figures were a force no one would mess with. They were strong selfish individuals. Although they needed someone to level them out. That's you. You have been part of the Board for two years as an assistant. Your charming personality and hard work helped you gain respect from your colleagues. Showing up on time along with remembering everyone's Starbucks order also helped with that.
Recently the Board has started up an old project from the 1980's. It used to be an elaborate military project made by a man named Cinnamon J. Scudworth. Apparently he cloned famous historical figures and put them all into a highschool. He made himself the principal of the school and his robot companion the assistant principal. The idea was to use their ability for the United States government. However, everything turned to shit once all the clones ended up frozen on prom night. With new updates and current events the clones are going to be defrosted and start anew. This updated project is called Spread Eagle. This time the goal is to get one clone ready for world domination.
This is where you come in. Candide Sampson, sent to watch over Scudworth, asked you personally to help her. She requested your assistance with watching over highschool students and the two running the school. At first you were shocked. Candide Sampson was someone who never asked for help. She never even talked to you unless it was to complain about her coffee or just to insult you. But like the people pleaser you are, you accepted.
You are given two days to prepare for departure. After studying the student body and packing the essentials, along with a few personal items, you were set. When the day comes you wear professional attire. Sampson then sends a helicopter to pick her and you up. Once seated she starts to debrief you on the clones and Principals.
"The Students consist of many famous figures but not all are exceptional. We need to focus on the bigger ones, the ones that will succeed in ruling the world. You are in charge of keeping records of those clones."
Your legs are crossed when you respond. "Yes ma'am."
She continues. "My job is to keep that Principle out of the Board's hair. You will assist me with this when I tell you so. Here," she throws you a thin folder, "this is the fool's file. Keep it, I'm already done with it, there is not much to glean."
As always, she was right. Scudworth's profile was nowhere near impressive. The picture showed a man crying in his pajamas. His skills are phenomenal at science and an impressive ego. The Board has also labeled his threat level to 'House Pet'. Overall, Scudworth seemed to be someone that would be easy to handle.
Sampson and you sat inside the helicopter in silence for the rest of the trip. She files her nails while you get mentally prepared for the upcoming months as a personal assistant for a scary, mean, and downright awful Lady. If only you weren't such an ass kisser.
After thirty minutes or so you are at the school. Students are scattered across the landscape when the helicopter lands. Many don't bother looking at the two of you, too interested in catching up with their peers or chasing after drones.
You turn to grab your suitcase only to see the helicopter flying away.
"Don't worry," Sampson explained while walking ahead, "It will be back soon"
Nodding your head, you follow her.
The tall woman navigates the halls as if she's studied that layout the night before. You take notice of some new clones that were not on the list as you walk. Sampson notices as well.
"You will need to address this when we arrive at Scudworth's office. The clones are your priority after all."
Once again you nod your head "Of course, ma'am."
She leads you to a door that reads 'Principal Scudworth', It's accompanied by a mat that says 'Welcome Clones'. Before you can step ahead and open the door, Sampson kicks it down.
"Scudworth!" She booms.
Scudworth is revealed right before he throws hot coffee on his face. He screams about the hot liquid which then leads to an acknowledgement of a robot who scolds him about said hot coffee on his face. You take this time to study the two. Scudworth is wearing a scientist coat that drags down his lanky figure.The robot has a red sweater vest on and a blue tie.
Sampson ignores the man's screaming and introduces herself and you.
"We're here to watch over you," she says slyly.
Scudworth takes a seat at his desk after quickly recovering from third degree burns. "What? I don't need a boss!" He slams his fists onto the desk for emphasis. "Especially not from some woman and her underpaid assistant!" Scudworth then backtracks to clarify the woman part of his complaint. You can't help but feel insulted at the underpaid remark. He was absolutely right but still.
"Enough!" Sampson interrupts. "We will be installing a glass ceiling so we may oversee your every move."
At first you take what she's saying in a metaphorical sense. Perhaps she would actually just be installing some cameras around his office.
Scudworth scoffs at his new boss. "Women and their glass ceilings. Always prancing around and- Ahhh!"
You scream as well once you spot the roof above you coming apart. Cracks form on the walls as the ceiling is pulled apart from the structure and replaced by a glass ceiling. The same helicopter from before then throws your luggage down, somehow not breaking the glass as it lands. Next an office is placed above the ceiling making it also become flooring. You stare above in amazement at how seamless the whole event was.
"Ehem," Sampson coughs to get your attention.
"Right," Holding yourself up high, you take out the file you were given before you had even gotten on the helicopter. It was a list of all the students of Clone High. You show the two principals the paper. "As we walked around your school we noticed many clones that were not on this list, this means they weren't authorized."
"Correct, I secretly created more clones to keep the school glowing without permission!"
You stare in awe. This man just claimed to go behind the Board's back with no shame. You didn't even dare look them in the eye in fear they would kill you.
Your boss shares this thought when she expresses her anger. "What?!" Before she can lecture him more she places her hand onto her chin. "Hm, maybe having additional clones it's in a terrible idea."
"How have you informed the original clones about the sudden appearance of the new ones?" You question.
Scudworth responds with a bright smile. "I knew I forgot something!"
A worried look settles on your face. "You haven't even talked about the new faces around your school?"
"Nope!"
Sampson lets out a growl and you wince. This man was already in deep shit with Sampson and it hasn't even been ten minutes. You can see the woman practically steaming. So you do the thing you are meant to do, Assist.
"Perhaps we can announce an assembly for the afternoon. That will give us enough time to plan out everything along with giving the students time to settle in."
The three watch you as you throw out your idea. Once you finish they stare at you in silence.
Your boss is the first to speak up. "I knew I was doing the right thing when I requested you," pride swells within you as she speaks. It's the first time she ever complimented you.
"Thank you!" You chirp.
"Well you heard my assistant. Announce the assembly and get it ready. We'll be getting ourselves settled in," She points to the office above as she walks out.
You look at Scudworth and the robot you still have yet to learn the name of. "It was nice to meet the two of you. I hope to gain a beautiful work relationship out of these interactions!" After the professional goodbye you take your leave.
You and Sampson get things tidied up in the new office. The woman has reptiles scattered everywhere. You don't mind them, you're actually quite fond of the cold-blooded creatures. What you aren't fond of is the way they clutter up space and have their little feet tap on the glass. They sit on tables that hold your papers and eat all the candy you've placed into the welcome bowl that sits by the door. You try your best to ignore them, taking your mind to the beings under your feet. Looking down you see that robot and Scudworth quickly writing on paper. Hopefully it's for the assembly.
"Assistant," Sampson says. You look up at her. "While the assembly is happening I need you to go through that imbecile's desk and retrieve the new students' files. Can you do that?"
"Absolutely."
"That's what I like to hear," she hums in delight. "I'm going to get a better look at the school. Once Scudworth leaves, get those files." The woman then struts out of the room.
Sighing, you take a seat at your desk. It's on the opposite end of her's and right above Scudworth's. Privacy feels as if it will mean nothing with the glass divider. You get a perfect view of Scudworth's balding head and he gets an eyeful of your seated ass. Not what you wanted but what you got.
Slowly, you retrieve the folder you were given and place them alphabetically in the filing cabinet attached to your desk. Each folder holds papers about each original member of Clone High. Most have little information. Just their name, age, historical figure they are copied after and then their extracurricular activities. However there are a few that hold hefty files. These are the ones you plan on keeping close watch of. Their names are Abraham Lincoln, John F Kennedy, Cleopatra and Joan of Arc. Each having been cloned after successful figures and showing promising data when they first attended highschool.
Once you're done organizing your desk an announcement is made over the intercom. It tells each and every student to gather in the theater for a first day assembly. You look down just in time to see Scudworth end the report and leave with his metal sidekick. They don't even close the door when they leave. It's like they wanted you to steal their information.
You make your way down to the principal's office. Students give you a confused look as you pass by, your polished attire is probably the reason. You give awkward smiles and waves as you speed walk to your destination.
Once there you close the door behind you. The room is messier than before. Papers are splayed out onto the desk. All have what look to be lyrics to some song. Ignoring them, you tread over to Scudworth desk and kneel down beside it. You open the drawers, finding material that you know you shouldn't have seen. Pictures of men and women in complex poses makes your face heat up. Why does he even have these in here?
Pushing the information aside you keep searching until you find one that holds the file, gathering each name that is unfamiliar to you. Once done you make your way quickly out of the office and into yours. When you get back you place all the files onto your desk, deciding to sort them out later and make your way to the theater.
It takes you a while but eventually you find your way there. When you open the doors you spot a very sweaty Scudworth singing some song with imagery behind him. He runs and jumps across the stage as his students watch him. They have no other choice. Their eyes are held open by robotic hands that have sprouted from the ground. While you are weirded out, you still continue to pass by each one. You spot Sampson at the right end of the stage so you meet her there.
"Did you grab them?" She asks.
"Yes. I've placed them on my desk to be studied later."
"Perfect," Sampson smirks while pressing her fingers together. She has something big planned, you can tell, and you're not sure if it's a good or bad thing.
After five more minutes of singing, Scudworth finally ends his musical number. Students from the original project are upset and rightfully so.
"Uh, yeah, I have a question!" Yells a voice from the crowd. You recognize the reddish pink hair as Joan's. She looks exactly the same as the photo in her profile.
"Great question!" Scudworth proclaims. "Here to not answer it is the most popular and hottest girl is the school-"
"Finally!" Says another voice in the crowd. You remember her as well. Cleopatra, or Cleo for short, is the most popular girl in school according to her file. Her body is one that could be compared to barbie.
Scudworth tells Cleo to sit down so everyone may see the new popular girl, Frida Khalo. As soon as the announcement is made the double door to the theater opens to reveal the girl herself. Frida dresses in bright colors that match her glowing personality. She rolls down the aisle on a skateboard giving peace signs to her fellow peers. People cheer and Hollar for her as she arrives on stage, taking the principal's spot.
Frida starts off her speech by talking about the past clones. She puts humor into her words, making them less impactful when they hit ears. After addressing the elephant in the room she then announces an event called unity week. It's the first time Clone High has ever had such an event. Frida doesn't explain anymore. Instead she introduces a new face, Harriet Tubman, to explain more.
A door opens from your right and out somersaults a girl with a bright pink afro. She's wearing bright colors as well that go exactly with what Frida is wearing.
"Thank you, thank you!" Harriette speaks. She starts off with unity events of the week.
Once Harriette finishes Frida takes the mic. "Sign up sheets are being handed out right now!"
Just like that the assembly ends. High schoolers sign away before leaving. You make sure to take a look at the crowd. The four you have written up for being promising all hang out with one another. It makes it easier for you to evaluate each one.
Scudworth walks up to Samson and you with a smug look on his face. "Sooo, great assembly or what?"
Sampson laughs in his face when she responds. "Mediocre at best."
You frown at your boss's words. "I'm still confused about the whole unity week but overall I liked it. Especially the part about avocado toast."
"Assistant!" You look over to see Sampson glaring at you. "Don't compliment him for doing something of such little effort!"
"Sorry, I just thought it was a great way to get students invested with the upcoming weeks."
Scudworth is about to say something else but your ear is pinched by your boss as she drags you out. The principal's face frowns as he watches the exchange. Sampson pulls you down the halls, that are now filled with watching eyes, and all the way to the second floor office. She finally lets you go when the door slams shut.
Sampson glares at you. "Do I have to remind you that you work for me?"
You cower from harsh gaze, a nervous smile creeping up onto your face. "No ma'am."
"Then start acting like it," her glare deepens.
Your head hangs in shame. "Yes ma'am."
Scudworth entered his office a while ago, watching the scene play out. The two of you make eye contact. His eyes show pity before he spots the files on your desk.
Scudworth's face goes red "Hey," he yells from below. "What are my files doing on your desk!"
"Sampson told me to retrieve them," your words are laced with remorse.
"Those are mine! I worked hard on those!"
Samson stomps on the glass causing all attention to her. "You made more clones therefore we need more information. You'll get them back once my assistant is done studying them."
Scudworth redirects his anger to the woman above, grumbling about how she's a thief.
"Assistant," Sampson groans, "get to work and be quick."
That's exactly what you do. You slave away at your homework, taking notes whenever you see something of importance. The new students are dressed in different attire and use different slang than others. Most are addicted to some device but none as bad as the clone of Confucius. He looks to be a possible candidate for the project but his obsession drags him down. Frida and Harriet are in the new files as well and also hold very high scores. Last to be seen in Christopher Columbus but he likes to go by Topher Bus. He doesn't have much going for him besides his woke agenda. His canceled clone father must have made him make this decision. Once you're all done you gather the stolen material from your desk.
"Assistant, when you arrive at Scudworth's office ask for the key to the private washroom."
You give your boss a nod before heading out. All students are currently in their classes so it makes your trip a lot easier. You arrive at Scudworth's office and give a gentle knock before opening it.
"Greetings again!" A warm smile shows on your face as you stride inside.
Scudworth has a sour look but it turns into a smile once he sees his files. You place them on his desk, describing how each has in place in alphabetical order.
"You should become my assistant. I would treat you better and even let you use my antique coffee machine." Sudworth voices as he runs his fingers across the paper.
"While that sounds like a great offer I have to decline. Sampson has asked for me personally."
"Wait, so you also work for the Board?"
"Yep! I've been working there as an assistant for two years. This is my first time being transferred out of the main building."
Scudworth places his hand on his chin. "So that means I can also request for my own assistant."
"Ehem," a robotic voice sounds in a monotone voice.
"Oh, don't be so dramatic Mr. B. You may help around here but you never organize my files like this."
"That's because you never ask."
"Neither did I ask Sampson's assistant but they still did."
The pair bicker for some time. They act like an old married couple. You let the two continue for a little longer before piping up.
"Before I leave Sampson has requested the key for the private washroom. If it's okay I need to retrieve it."
"Uh, why?"
"My guess would be so she could use it," you reply.
"Just let me see where I put it." Scudworth mutters before ducking under his desk. Mr. B, the robot, follows him. Whispers are heard as they talk.
You wait patiently, taking this time to fully take in the room. It's quite organized but the fragile equipment makes you worry about the potential messes. A safe is planted into the wall to your left. It has a keypad on it but you don't think that you'll ever know the code or have to use it.
Your brought out of your ogling when Mr. B's voice is heard clear as crystal. "Even the pubes on the toilet seat?"
"I told you they were mustache trimmings!" Roars Scudworth before he stands up from behind his desk. "Here!" He throws you the key. However, the throw was terrible. The key lands on the floor inches away from you. "Woops, my throwing arm must be getting rusty."
You chuckle while bending down to retrieve the key. "That's alright, Don't worry about it." Standing up, key in hand, you wave goodbye. "Thanks again, I promise to leave the two of you be. Well unless I'm told otherwise. And if so I'm sorry in advance."
You return back to Sampson and give her the key she asked for. She then excuses herself. While she's away you take a moment of peace. Leaning against the wall and letting out a long sign. Walking up and down between offices is becoming draining. You wish that when they installed the glass flooring they also put in some steps or an elevator. Hands stretch above your head before falling back down. Taking in a few more moments of tranquility. A door slams from below making you jump. You look down to see your boss yelling at Scudworth before coming back up.
You give the two beings below a tired look. Scudworth returns it with a shrug. You can't help but find him charming in his own weird way, even though his file claims he has a big ego.
"Assistant!" Snarled Sampson as she burst open her third door of the day. "I need you to clean up that washroom now! It's absolutely disgusting, how does someone shit like that?" She points to the right of her and you follow her finger. It leads right to the washroom underneath your office. When Sampson said she would be watching over everything she meant it. The glass flooring reveals the absolute horror of a bathroom. Stains cover the walls along with a rug on the floor. Titles are covered by crumpled tissues. There's no soap or paper towels. The worst part is the toilet itself. Mr. B was right. That's definitely pubes on the toilet seat.
Dreed washes over you at the new task. "Um, yeah, sure."
"While you're at it take this," she hands you a credit card and a list. "You'll need to buy some things for the washroom. I expect it to be done fast."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Get going."
For what feels like the tenth time today, you run down the stairs. You rush out the building and catch a ride on the city bus that's parked conveniently in the front. Seats are empty when you hop on.
"Just to the store," you tell the driver.
He nods his head. The bus starts its journey into the city. Your trip to the store is speedy. Crossing off items on the list whenever you take hold of them. You pay for the merchandise then make your way back to Clone High. The mini trip was twenty minutes. Making quick time as always.
You rush to the principal's office with arms full of merchandise. Scudworth watches as you enter the washroom. You give the man a string of apologies before shutting the door. All bags drop from your hands. You hold your stomach and cover your mouth as you gag. It smells so much worse than you thought. Processing all of the damage, you start getting to work.
It takes you a while to clean the entire bathroom, but with the worst part over it's time for your favorite, decorating. Sampson had asked you to get towels, soaps, a cute fluffy toilet cover and more. Your skills are put up to the test with just how terrible the area used to look but with your forte it's perfect for your boss. For the final touch you place a lemon scent candle on top of the toilet lid. After all is done you exit the bathroom.
"I cleaned everything that needed to be and did some remodeling. Again, sorry for doing this. I know it's your personal space and all."
Scudworth waves his hands in a dismissive motion. "It's not your fault, it's that horrid woman."
You let out a light laugh. "You got that right, but you didn't hear that from me."
Scudworth doesn't say anymore but he's practically beaming as he listens to you.
With that you make your way back to the room above. Sampson is standing by the door when you open it.
"Finally, it took you long enough."
"Sorry."
"Whatever, let's just hope this work is your best."
She departs, but not before she grabs a duffle bag. Then she leaves you alone once again. You take this time to do some quick studying on your notes of the newer clones. Jotting down some information about less fortunate clones might come in handy.
Sampson takes her time coming back. You watch the door to the washroom as minutes tick by. Scudworth does the same, eyeing the room next to him suspiciously. Minutes pass by before Sampson leaves. The principal watches the woman exit his office. You both know something is definitely up. When your boss arrives she is more cheerful than usual.
"Great work in the washroom," was all she said before sitting at her desk.
"Thank you."
Silence returns to the quarters and it finally seems like you will actually be able to get some quality work time. The notes you write are short and sweet. You scribble away not even noticing Scudworth taking a file from his desk before going to the private restroom.
"The nerve of this woman!" A yell emits from beneath you.
You lean back from your work and spread your legs to get a view below. Scudworth is now wearing a sombrero. You smile at how he glides around with Mr. B to the far end of the room. He goes to the same wall that has the safe you saw earlier. You're not able to see the code he put in but you are able to see him pull out a stick of dynamite. He holds it proudly to show mr. B and unknowingly to the crowd above.
"Um, ma'am," you look up at Sampson to find that she also saw the exchange. You don't want to get Scudworth in trouble but you also don't want to risk getting on Sampson's bad side.
"Don't worry. I'm one step ahead," she spoke ominously.
You're nervous about what she means. A sinister shadow pours over her face as she continues to watch the two men. Following her gaze, Scudworth goes back to the washroom with his explosives. He hides the dynamite in a candle. It's painful to see him try so hard but he's to dumb to notice he's being caught.
Scudworth is about to plant his trap until he realizes that some have already been planted. You're as shocked as him. There are blades in the soap and a harpoon is the toilet. That must be why Sampson took so long in the restroom. Had she planned on hurting or even killing the principal. Is she allowed to do that?
The harpoon shoots through the glass, causing you to jump from your desk and cower away from the spraying shards. After the attack, you rush towards your boss, making sure she's okay. Of course, she is - she's seamless in every way. However, you still pamper her, brushing off stray fragments from her suit while apologizing for the damage and promising to clean it up. It's not your fault, but you've learned it's best to apologize for any inconvenience. It helps you out when you're at the mercy of your superiors.
Sampson pushes your hands away from her body. "Just clean up and cover the hole."
"Right away!"
You look down to look at the new cavity. The only thing you see is Scudworth staring at your boss with goo goo eyes. You're flabbergasted by the way he completely ignores how he was almost killed by the woman he became enchanted with. The worst part of it all is that your heart clenches at the fact.