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He had just finished his guard shift, which lasted for more than two hours, and now he could go to sleep.
He already felt the bags under his eyes being heavier than ever, and exhaustion helped him, dragging one foot after the other, pushing sleep away before he could get to his room and not faint before. His bones were cracking with tiredness.
In front of the door of the small room where he slept, just inside, he threw himself on the mattress. It wasn't much of comfort, but it was the only place where he could close his eyes, and without even taking off the heavy armor around his body, or sitting comfortably under the covers, he immediately allowed himself to fall asleep. Soon after, his breathing became heavier.
".. when we're not together, i feel like a part of me is missing.. would you be my .... ?"
He was kneeling on his left knee, looking up at someone.
it was a girl, with dark hair and gathered in a short tail. But something wanted to convince him that they were longer than they used to be. But he couldn't remember how much, and who she was.
Her clothes had a mix of color between blue and red, and it seemed so familiar that choice of colors. And an addition of a golden somewhere was a match with her clothes that had already been used in the past. He could feel it somehow.
The girl's face was distant, very distant, but he could hear a feeling of familiarity from her voice as soon as she spoke.
"yes, of course! yes! yes! YES!" She exclaimed, and a weight on him immediately showed up, when she moved to hug him tightly.
A whole lovely smile was on their faces, and then everything went dark.
He opened his eyes, closed them and then opened again, confused by what he had just dreamed.
He had no idea who that girl was, much less what he asked for in that dream. Maybe a marriage proposal?
He couldn't help but think about it, but the sun was already alive in his room, and another shift of work gave him good morning, making him get up, and leave the room with the same clothes and armor with which he slept.
He walked with a colleague along the corridor of the rooms. in which Jason's was also present.
The name of this colleague of his was Michael, but he was also called Mick, or Mike by the closest ones, and Jason was one of these closest friends.
He knew absolutely nothing about this Michael, but he imagined that confidence had begun to pump once Jason helped cover him a few times so he could visit his lover. once after, Jason had not revealed anything, his colleague could feel that he could trust Jason.
And now this Mike was just talking to him about this girl. it was absurd for Jason that his colleague continued to date someone outside the kingdom. Because of the boss's various rules, one of which was to have no relationship outside that could make them discover or send all their hiding places into nothing, Mike had ignored this rule. if not the most important.
but anyway as he spoke, Mike whispered. If anyone had eavesdropped on and told even the slightest thing, both the colleague and he were in trouble. Jason was witness if he continued to say nothing. and to rumors of how terrible punishments were for breaking the rules, Jason preferred to mind his own business.
"you know Jason, I really think I found true love for the first time!" Mike exclaimed, still whispering. he was cheerful and Jason couldn't understand why.
"You can't say you've found true love after seeing her for just one week. And then it doesn't make sense to me, why would you want to give all your time to someone you don't even know? What if she then tells you false things from the person she really could be?" Jason snorted, uncertain and bored by the subject.
"You don't understand! Love is the best feeling a human can have" Mike turned, squeezing his eyes suspiciously "Unless you're a robot?"
they stopped and Jason looked at him with a confused frown back and Mike continued to look at him, until he then threw away the fake suspicion and laughed "I'm just kidding, bud" Mike chuckled, giving a blow with the back of his hand on Jason's shoulder.
"and then it is not true that it does not make sense.. if she ever pretends, and if it will be worth it, you can always forgive" Mike started walking again, and Jason continued to listen. And not that he wanted to, but he was obliged since they were on shift together that night "and you could never know, but maybe that someone might have felt the need to lie.. if in under a good light"
and something sounded in Jason. He had no idea why or what it was, but a vague image appeared after his eyes, verging on the idea that he was at a table with someone.
"like?" Jason asked, looking at him curiously this time.
"Like.. If I had not come from a good family situation or with any other problem, which could be very private for me or put me in awe, I too would have hidden that part or invented something else. but in good light.. If the reason was there, of course" Mike replied gesticulatingly.
Jason paused for a few seconds. suddenly feeling lost, wondering a question he never thought he would hear in his head.
"who am I?"
He was more than sure to knew who he was... he was Jason, and-
and.. and he work for his boss.. and..
and?
What else?
Did his life really have a meaning?
"Jay?"
At that nickname, Jason felt like he had someone else on his body for a minute, feeling the ghost of someone with something in life. A past and a reason.
"Did you call me.. Jay?"
"Um.. Yes? can I?" Mike asked, not so sure if he should called him that after seeing his wide eyes.
Jason shook his head, trying to recover from a sudden dizziness "no... no I like it" showed a small smile, and then returned to his colleague's side.
"and then I don't think Mia would ever do that. she's amazing and when I look into her eyes I feel like I already know her whole life, and want to be part of her future too" Jason looked at Mike's heart-to-heart eyes, and immediately felt disgusted.
but her name sounded similar.. Mia?..
"gross.." his face curled in displeasure did not go unnoticed by Mike's eyes.
"oww come on, have you never really felt love?"
Jay- Jason thought about it, but nothing went before his eyes "I don't think so"
"not even for your parents?" Mike stopped on his steps this time, taking the situation seriously.
"I don't even have any idea what face my parents have, so I guess I've never felt any kind of love" Jason replied as the simplest thing, but seeing the bewildered look of his colleague, he started to worry a little.
Was it wrong?
or was he wrong?
"I-I'm sorry, man.." Mike tightened his hand compassionately on his shoulder, but Jason showed no sign of sorrow.
"Sorry if the question is too personal but.. So you're an orphan?"
What was he supposed to say? He had no idea.
"Um.. Actually, I have no memory of my past. it's as if I was born a few years ago" with his gaze downcast Jason replied, ashamed of not having a certain answer.
an uncomfortable silence floated for a few seconds between the two, until Mike allowed himself to put his arm around Jason's shoulders. he was shorter than Jason, but with a tippy toes, he side-hugged him, hoping to do something useful.
"then I'll take care of helping you create a past for you, Jay!" Mike responded, and Jason felt welcomed into the gesture, warmed and pleased.
And then they resumed guarding the area, moving to other parts under the order given to them.
There was silence again, but this was not uncomfortable or something else, it was quiet. and then Jason couldn't help but feel curious.
"are you sure that this Mia did not use a spell to make you madly fall in love with her?" Jason joked.
"I'm sure you haven't seen or heard her speak. She probably charmed me just by being herself"
just being herself, huh?
"wait, I should still have last time's picture here" Mike said, rummaging through the pockets of his pants. And apparently, from the exclamation it seemed that he had found it "Here it is!"
handed the photo into Jason's hands, and as a sense of déjà-vu, the girl's photo sounded familiar.
She had long dark hair, and her eyes were brown, but with some visible shades of blue and even green. Her face was sweet and delicate, with a hint of malice in the shape of the eyes. She had red lipstick and noticeable but thin eyeliner. Long eyelashes and straight nose.
"then? Don't you think she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen?" Mike asked, taking the photo once Jason offered it back.
"yeah, I think she's cute" Jason simply said, not believing he could offend someone with a few words.
"just cute? well dude, I would tell you 'you don't know what you are missing' but better for me" Mike laughed, putting the photo back in safety and out of the eyes of some spy. and Jason grimaced.
But while his colleague had started talking again, telling a few more points to convince him that his girlfriend was the best, in his thoughts he could not help but return to the girl he had dreamed of a few days ago.
He hadn't actually thought about it all day, but as soon as he saw the girl's picture, something made him remember. But then he thought about it, and the girl of his dream was completely different. from what he had seen, she had dark hair but not completely black, and her face was unrecognizable to his brain. But at the thought, a feeling of warmth grew in his chest.
He wished he knew who that girl was, and if he really asked her to marry him... But then he remembered that it was just a dream, and that she most likely did not even exist..
"Jay? Aren't you coming?" Mike took him out of the memory of his dream, making him turn around and resume his pace next to Mike.
He had just finished a workout, walking back to his room to take a hot shower. He had a few hours off, and relaxing was the best way to make the most of his break.
Passing through his corridor, he waved to some of his colleagues who had greeted him back, and then closed the door behind.
He stripped off his armor, feeling his shoulders immediately lighter. And then he also took off the rest of the clothes, throwing them on the ground ready to be taken away by the man who took care of washing all their clothes.
He felt guilty that an old man had to take all their clothes when he should be doing something that a normal elderly person should, but then he remembered that it was none of his business, like all his other colleagues do.
He opened the door to the bathroom on his room. It was very small, really small, but the shower, toilet and sink fit in, so it was fine.
He opened the water, arranging it as he preferred, and in the shower, his body let itself relax, massaged by the jet of the water.
Jason closed his eyes, raising his head under the shower head and wet the hair.
".. I'm the sea. we are one"
He opened his eyes wide, feeling a sudden terror of the water, moving a few inches away.
He blinked twice, confusingly watching the drops flow down from the gray shower curtain. He shook his head, noticing his chest going up and down faster than usual. Trying to recover, he was returning with a clear mind and left that thought behind, alienated by that reaction. and above all sentence.
who it was?..
He knew he had heard that voice before..
"please! don't leave me!" an echo of another voice seemed to have come out of the water. The latter had recognized it as his voice, but a sense of melancholy enveloped him, becoming heavy in his chest.
He continued to wash, going back under the water and hoping this was the last time, but then the sensation of a gentle hand in his left cheek terrified him, almost knocking him out of the shower.
His heart was really fast, and Jason didn't really understand what had just happened, but he felt the urgent will to cry and scream away an unknown pain.
But the only reason he knew for wanting to scream was because he was stuffy and tired of seeing something he didn't even have a clue why.
But the most sure thing was that he didn't want to go back to the shower, so he hesitantly turned off the water, and moved the curtain to go outside, climbing over the small step that was around the shower so as not to drop water into the floor.
He wiped his body, and left his hair wet, wanting it to dry on its own, and changed to the usual uniform, clean, but without the armor above this time.
He wanted to stay in his room until his break ended, and maybe he would even take a nap.
Hoping not to dream again of that girl, with a sweet scent on her, along with her wavy dark hair and her plump lips.