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Mei woke at dawn once again. It was still raining but she could see the dull glow of the sun rising out her window. Occasionally a streak of lightning would shoot across the sky followed by a resonating boom. She closed her eyes and stretched out her hand to one side of the bed and then the other. Nothing there, nobody there. The warm fuzzy feeling that the dream had given her faded away into an empty ache.
Just a dream, Mei told herself sternly. Don’t be stupid.
She got up out of bed and washed her face in the bathroom sink. As she patted her face dry with a towel she pressed her face into the softness of it and held it there. She stood like that for several moments, letting the towel absorb her tears.
But it was that dream again.
Mei saw herself married and laughing. She was dressed all in white and held a cascading bouquet that she’d throw any second. The other kage were around her celebrating, happy for her.
She threw the towel away from her and stalked back into her bedroom.
She’d had this dream before with different people surrounding her: family, friends. It was as if it was always the same wedding but she’d just come in at a different part. Although since the war it had become more of a nightmare. Every time she woke up it was frightening. Was she really awake? Was she just caught in the dream again?
Then she’d check just to see if there was anyone sleeping with her. Maybe, just maybe it was a memory and not a dream, but no, she was not married. She was not even dating anyone. Mei sighed and sat on her bed. At least this way she knew that she was in the real world.
But this was all old hat, it had happened before. What really worried her was this change in her dream. Before, her groom had always been a faceless, nameless man. She couldn’t really imagine anyone she knew being in his place so his face had always remained blank or without form. That’s what made the dream all the more depressing. Tonight, however…
Mei stood up and began to pace around the room. She was in the Mizukage Tower in a guest room. Her cottage had burned down and…he had come. Kakashi Hatake. He always seemed to appear out of nowhere. More than once he’d helped her…
“Stop it,” Mei said to herself, resuming her pacing. “You don’t even know him.”
But the fact remained. Kakashi had been the groom in her dream just now. That was what so disturbed her. It was his face she was smiling up at, his kind eyes that looked at her. This had never happened before. She’d always wanted to be married, have children, but the village needed her, then she became Mizukage. There wasn’t room for much else in her life. Besides, how would one even go about dating the Mizukage? They’re all too scared of me, Mei thought.
He isn’t, responded her positive inner voice. They had been on two dates, sort of.
“He’s just being kind,” Mei argued. “He’s an excellent diplomat; making people feel cared for while emotionally keeping his distance.”
Mei closed her eyes and sighed.
“This is stupid,” Mei said. “I’m going back to bed.”
And if you dream of him again?
Mei stopped walking toward her bed. Maybe she should just get ready for the day. She shook herself and continued toward the bed with a determined stride. It didn’t matter. It made no difference.
You have feelings for him.
And WHAT IF I DO?! Mei’s mind shouted back at the positive part of her. There’s nothing I can do about it. I’m certain he’s indifferent so don’t even start. After a moment Mei thought, what would he want with me anyway? There are plenty of available kunoichi in the Leaf. I’m sure he has his choice.
But who would want to date a former Hokage? The voice pressed. Mei scowled at the optimistic side of herself. She always ended up getting hurt because of the hope it instilled in her.
She sat down on her bed, alone in the dark. “Why do they make beds so big?” Mei asked her silent room.