Work Text:
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
TG: hey bro
TG: girl bro
TG: got some questions for you
EB: whats up dave?
TG: so like
TG: how did you tell roxy you were a girl
EB: oh! i went “hey roxy, i’m a girl”.
TG: no but like
TG: was that not hard
EB: i mean, yeah, but she got it.
EB: shes trans too, so it wasnt a big deal.
EB: or it kinda was? it wasnt the end of the world.
TG: that wasnt helpful
EB: how can i be helpful?
TG: ugh whatever egnerd
EB: that isn’t a very creative pun.
TG: eggbird
EB: i don’t have any relation to birds. do you have relation to birds, dave?
TG: shut up
TG: youre not even my real mom
EB: i’m not your mom at all. i’m just your girl bro.
TG: are we unable to say the word friend
TG: is that so hard to describe this relationship as friendship
TG: anyway your a motherfucker
EB: rude.
EB: wait.
EB: dave elizabeth strider.
EB: no.
TG: only my real mom can call me that
TG: motherfucker
EB: dave what did you need help with? you asked me a weird question and called me a motherfucker.
TG: yeah that was all
EB: was it?
TG: yep totally bye bye egbert
turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering ectoBiologist [EB]
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering timaeusTestified [TT]
TG: hey so
TG: do you have any advice on communication
TT: Do you view me as a person who’s a master of communication? Is that what you think of me?
TG: sure
TT: I’m flattered, but you’re wrong.
TG: i know but like
TG: coming out or whatever
TT: Oh. Yeah. We can do the whole sexuality discussion again.
TT: You figure some stuff out?
TG: yeah i mean
TG: yeah kinda
TG: but not really like
TG: like stuff hasnt changed since last time
TG: i mean they have but its like different stuff
TG: like its the same flower different petal
TG: what the fuck was that metaphor that is not a dave metaphor
TG: that fucking sucked
TT: It did suck.
TT: But are you gonna tell me what’s up? Like, what are we talkin’ about?
TT: It’s a little confusing when you tell me about flowers instead of issues.
TG: its yknow like
TG: gender or whatever that sort of thing
TG: uh
TT: Oh. That sort of chat.
TT: Well, what do you have for me?
TG: god dont say that
TG: thats a rose thing to say and i am not talking to rose for a reason
TT: Just dump whatever you want on me, I won’t Rose you.
TG: you better not
TG: ill block you
TG: so
TG: gender
TG: funny concept you can just trans it like what
TG: you can just transify it
TG: what do you think about transing genders dirk
TT: I did. A lot of our friends did.
TG: thats a fact not an opinion
TT: What kind of opinion do you want?
TG: like uh
TG: totally hypothetically but
TG: what if i did that
TG: like just hypothetically haha
TT: That’d be fine.
TG: fine
TT: Yeah, fine. I mean, it’s not like I’m gonna view you too differently.
TT: I try not to be sexist.
TG: ok yeah thats cool just like funny hypothetical
TT: So, you gonna be honest or are we doing fake hypotheticals?
TG: i think im a girl
TG: well no im like 99 percent sure
TG: i dont know how to
TG: say that
TG: be a girl
TG: tell
TG: tell jade
TG: all the above things
TT: You know Jade will support you.
TG: yeah
TG: logically shell be fine with me going all girl but what if she isnt
TG: thatd suck
TG: thatd suck so bad
TG: like you wouldnt want it to suck you even if you were being paid
TG: yeah anyway i need to tell people how transgender i am
TT: You plan on changing your name?
TG: well i was gonna go with dove but i just know junes gonna fuck with me
TT: You’ve known this for a while, huh?
TG: yeah like a few months or whatever
TG: you better be flattered youre the first to know
TT: Thanks, Dove.
TG: bro
TG: bro
TG: bro
turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering timaeusTestified [TT]
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering {GG-)
TG: mx j crocker
TG: i have a quickie for you
GG: A “quickie”?
TG: quick question get with the program man
GG: Oh! Go ahead.
TG: so like
TG: you can like
TG: change people
TG: physically i mean
GG: Yep! Life powers. Neat, aren’t they? :B
TG: okay yeah just making sure
GG: For what?
TG: nothing nevermind backtrack that thanks bye
turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]
TG: mom do you like being a girl
TG: like is it a thing you would recommend
TG: 10/10 i want all my friends to do it
TG: forcing my girl agenda on everyone
TG: already got egbert whos next
TG: u thinkin bout it?
TG: what no im like the most cisgender guy ever i just wanted to hear about girl stuff
TG: i can tell you all abt girls
TG: i like girls
TG: me too girls are cool
TG: jade is really cool did you know that
TG: i did
TG: not that i want you to steal my girlfriend please dont steal my girlfriend you have your own cool girlfriend
TG: shes just like a little less cool than mine
TG: mines still cooler though
TG: its cute when u talk abt her
TG: yep me and my cute heterosexual relationship just
TG: heterosexualing
TG: would u recommend heterosexualing
TG: so hard
TG: i love it so much
TG: its just like what if there was a guy and a girl
TG: and im the guy
TG: because im a guy
TG: yeah
TG: well have fun being a heterosexual
TG: dont see the appeal
TG: no im not one dont get me wrong i just happen to be in that kind of relationship dont erase my sexuality mom
TG: sorry have fun being in a het relationship
TG: thanks
TG: because i am in one thats correct
TG: okay i have to go do cisgender heterosexual things okay
turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
TG: hey jadey
TG: babygirl
TG: my little puppy
GG: hi dave!!
TG: i wanted to talk to you
GG: about something or in general?
TG: about something
TG: something kind of important
TG: about our relationship
GG: oh?? is everything okay??
TG: yeah but like
TG: would you still love me if i uh
timaeusTestified [TT] started pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
TT: You gonna tell her?
TG: tell who what
TT: You know who and what.
TG: okay yeah im gonna do it now
TG: if i was a worm
GG: yes dave
GG: you scared me!
GG: i dont think thats important
TG: okay yeah maybe that wasnt what i was gonna say
TG: oh god this is hard
TT: Nothing bad is gonna happen.
TG: i asked her that worm question dirk whats wrong with me
TT: Just tell her.
TG: okay so were like
TG: a guy and a girl and were dating
TG: doing the whole heterosexual relationship thing
TG: what if instead of that
TG: we didnt
GG: dave, what?
GG: are you breaking up with me?
TG: no no no no
TG: its just
TG: she thinks im breaking up with her fuck
TT: Just fuckin’ tell her. You’re gonna kill her.
TG: not if i die first
TT: Nope. You can both die. June and Roxy don’t need to remind you, do they?
TG: oh my god dont bring up that
TT: Sorry.
TG: just forget it sorry
GG: you’re being weird :(
GG: please tell me whats wrong
TG: nothing is wrong everything is okay
GG: please?
TT: You don’t need to dance around it, you just have to tell her.
TT: “Hey Jade, I’m a girl now, do you want to have a bunch of sloppy lesbian make-outs?” “Yes”.
TT: So fuckin’ simple
TG: no but shes like
TG: what if she
TG: how the fuck is she gonna accept me when im not supposed to be like this
TT: Avoiding honesty?
GG: you can tell me anything, you know that, right?
TG: yup of course
TG: ditto and all that
GG: dave :(
TG: hey do you think you can like
TG: stop saying that
TG: or anything haha whatever nevermind
TG: no
TG: being a girl
TG: thats not
TG: i was supposed to be a guy but im not and its
TG: what the fuck yknow
TT: You’re whatever gender you are. No “supposed to be” bullshit.
TT: You’re a girl, yeah? Then you’re a girl, end of story.
TT: And I just know Jade would stay the same thing.
TG: just
TG: i
TT: Breathe, okay Dove?
GG: what are you talking about dave??
GG: its really hard to talk to you when i know youre hiding something
GG: youre my boyfriend! i need you to be honest and not play these games
TT: Everything’s okay. You’re gonna be fine.
GG: dave?
TT: Jade loves you. We all love you. Nothing is going to change.
GG: dave???
GG: please answer me
GG: i know youre online
TT: Calm down. Go get some AJ. Chill
GG: im worried
GG: and maybe a little angry but mostly worried!!
TT: Things are gonna be fine. Things are fine now.
TT: I’m not bullshitting you, for once.
GG: i love you okay
turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
TT: We all support you.
turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering timaeusTestified [TT]
gardenGnostic [GG] opened a memo on the board Friendship is fuckin’ magic
GG: guys do you know whats wrong with dave
GG: hes being weird
ectoBiologist [EB] responded to the memo
EB: i don’t but he is.
EB: he hasnt talked to me much just asked some questioned and ignored me
carcinoGeneticist [CG] responded to the memo
CG: HE’S ALWAYS WEIRD.
tentacleTherapist [TT] responded to the memo
TT: He is. I find his mind an interesting box of weirdness.
GG: i think hes gonna break up with me
TT: Wait, shit, really?
EB: jade no!! not again.
EB: i’m gonna kill him!!
GG: june no
TT: I mean, it probably wouldn’t be just or heroic.
GG: you guys arent helping!!!
timaeusTestified [TT] responded to the memo
TT: That’s not what’s going on.
GG: how do you know???
TT: We were talking.
GG: so what is it??
TT: I can’t say.
GG: dirk!! please!!
TT: I can’t. I’m sorry. It’s not a big deal, though, someone is just unable to tell anyone how they feel.
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] responded to the memo
TG: that could apply to a lot of us but i think u mean dave
TT: Yup.
TG: i do have a hunch n if im correct then dirk isnt lyin
TT: Hey, what the fuck Rox?
EB: can you tell us?
TG: no sry dirk is right
GG: you guys arent helping!!
GG: i just want to know whats wrong :(
TT: Sorry. You’ll see why I can’t.
EB: he’s online!!
TT: Don’t add pressure.
TT: Jade, can you close the memo? We can open it after, if that’s wanted, but I don’t think it’s going to help.
gardenGnostic [GG] closed a memo on the board Friendship is fuckin’ magic
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
TG: im a girl she/her dove
turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
GG: what
GG: i mean i support you and love you still sorry i just didnt think that was it
GG: come back dave :(
GG: dove i mean im sorry
GG: dove is such a pretty name
GG: i like it
GG: dove <3
GG: ill be here when youre ready
turntechGodhead [TG] starting pestering timaeusTestified [TT]
TG: i fucking did it holy shit
TG: im scared
TG: shes pestering me i cant check
TG: actually might as well kill all these birds
TG: god not actually i hope
turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering timaeusTestified [TT]
turntechGodhead [TG] opened a memo on the board Friendship is fuckin’ magic
TG: im girl now she/her dove mkay bye
ectoBiologist [EB] responded to the memo
EB: dove??
EB: you cannot be serious dove. dove???
EB: that is not a name you can have while ignoring your bird coding.
EB: birdgirl :p.
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] responded to the memo
TG: i knew it lmao
TG: congrats bb
gardenGnostic [GG] responded to the memo
GG: i think shes ignoring us
GG: im so proud of her though :)
tentacleTherapist [TT] responded to the memo
TT: Wow. That was not on my bingo list.
TT: I’m disappointed in myself.
GG: rose you have to support her
TT: I’m being so supportive, what are you talking about?
TG: can everyone do a congrats to get it out of the way
TG: we can do a party if dove wants later
golgothasTerror [GT] responded to the memo
GT: Congrats!
gutsyGumshoe [GG] responded to the memo
GG: Congrat :B!
gallowsCalibrator [GC] responded to the memo
GC: CONGR4TS ON TH3 G3ND3R BUT H4V3 YOU F1L3D YOUR G3ND3R P4P4RWORK?
EB: gender paperwork?
GC: SUR3LY W3 H4V3 P4P4RWORK >:?
EB: erm, no?
GC: WH4T’S WRONG W1TH YOU
EB: stop making dove’s coming out about this!!
GC: WH4T3V3R 3GB3RT
GC: <3<
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] responded to the memo
GA: Congrats
GA: But June Terezi Do You Think Maybe We Could Have A Separate Discussion For That
carcinoGeneticist [CG] responded to the memo
CG: STOP ASHEN FLIRTING KAN
CG: CONGRATS SORRY WE CAN’T BE NORMAL
apocalypseArisen [AA] responded to the memo
AA: me and sollux say congrats!
GC: YOU GUYS 4R3 ON TH1S BO4RD?
GC: WH3R3 4R3 YOU??
AA: space 0u0
AA: messing around in other timelines
TG: i believe we r missing a congrats
GG: We are?
TG: dirk
GG: dirk >:0!!
timaeusTestified [TT] responded to the memo
TT: Just goin’ through my transphobia arc.
TT: That’s all the congrats she’s gettin’, unless Gamzee is on this board. And alive.
GG: now we wait
turntechGodhead [TG] responded to the memo
TG: no waiting for you
TG: thanks yall i love you
turntechGodhead [TG] closed a memo on the board Friendship is fuckin’ magic
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering gardenGnostic [GG]
TG: im so sorry that was a pathetic stunt i pulled
TG: i love you so fucking much did you know that
TG: so im a girl now do you want to have a bunch of sloppy lesbian make outs
GG: .-.
TG: okay maybe later
TG: i love you did i mention that
GG: you did! just so happens i love you too :D
TG: great good awesome
TG: okay what about lesbian cuddles
GG: sure!
GG: i never said no to the make-outs, though
GG: ;)
TG: i love you harley
GG: i love you too!!
TG: sorry for putting you through my shit
GG: itll be okay if you cuddle me and also not do that crap again
TG: deal
turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering timaeusTestified [TT]
TG: i love you bro
turntechGodhead [TG] stopped pestering timaeusTestified [TT]