Work Text:
Maddie was the one that started the whole charade, Eddie suddenly thought, as he lay in bed, wide awake that night. He couldn’t sleep. His mind kept replaying the whole scene in his head. “Alright, cowboy, go get ‘em” were the last words he said to Buck before he started to clamber up that ladder, like he had a million times before. And then...then an ominous cloud, a flash of light, Eddie being thrown from the fire truck to the ground below, Buck hanging there...the rest of it was a blur until he took over compressions, and after three minutes and seventeen seconds exactly, Buck’s heart started beating again.
Bobby made them all go back to the firehouse to change, but as soon as he had, Eddie raced back to the hospital where he met Maddie and their parents (and he was honestly surprised that they were there. They never cared for him any other time, but now he was possibly dying...). Maddie tried to usher him in with them, but they were met with a stern nurse in the doorway.
“Family only.” She said simply, eyeing Eddie up and down. “No other visitors at this time.” Seriously? Couldn’t she see how distraught Eddie was? Couldn’t she hear the echoes of “do more!” down the corridors as soon as they’d wheeled Buck away? He had to see him. There was no question about it. But this bitch of a nurse was acting like there was a private Taylor Swift concert in that room, and Eddie did not have a ticket.
“Eddie is Evan’s fiancé.” Maddie said firmly. “They’ve been together for five years, and he’s joint next of kin.” Eddie felt the eyes of Margaret and Phillip on him, as well as the nurse, who was still eyeballing him like an unwelcome intruder.
“Is that so?” She asked, staring Eddie down. He swallowed nervously and nodded.
“Yes. We have a son together, I love him.” As much Eddie hated lying, those two facts were true. He did love Buck, even if he didn’t return his totally non-platonic feelings. And they were pretty much raising Christopher together by now. Buck had slowly slipped from “buddy” to “second father” so seamlessly that Eddie hadn’t noticed it had happened until recently. Buck seemed to help him with his homework more often than Eddie did these days, the two of them bonding over school projects and documentaries. Eddie was just left with math, which he hated, and he knew he was terrible at. But he was better than either of them, so that was that.
Maddie looked at the nurse with a face that cleanly said “see?!”, and she relented, moving aside to let the four of them crowd into the small room where Buck lay, hooked up to machines, a tube down his throat to help him to breathe, looking so small and frail, a stark contrast to the Buck that he patted on the shoulder not long ago. He could barely look at him, too many thoughts running through his head. The lightning strike had done so much damage. He might never wake up. Eddie had managed to get his heart restarted, but he could still die. He might never breathe on his own. He let the Buckleys crowd around the bed. They needed to be with him more than Eddie did. They were his family, after all.
“Come and sit down, son.” Phillip eventually said as he caught Eddie’s eye, and it suddenly occurred to him that they had also believed Maddie. It wasn’t a stretch, he supposed. Buck had confided in him that he had been in relationships with men before he’d moved to L.A., his family knew that. And the two of them were close enough that it might not be that much of a leap to believe that they were partners. Maddie pulled a chair across and sat it in the perfect position for Eddie to hold Buck’s hand. So, he did. He sat there, tears in his eyes, not daring to speak, holding his best friend’s hand like the simple action would somehow make Buck wake up.
“Do you think he can hear us?” Margaret asked Maddie. Eddie glanced up, waiting for her answer too.
“Maybe, there’s no real way of knowing, but some people talk to people in comas like they can.” She replied carefully. “You should try.” That was aimed squarely at Eddie. “It might give you some comfort too.”
Carefully, Eddie rubbed his thumb over the back of Buck’s hand, whispering to him like no one was watching. “Buck, you need to wake up from this, we’re all here waiting for you to come back. Christopher needs you. I need you. I love you.” He whispered. “I love you so much, you have no idea. Please, just come back.” He pleaded, sending up a message to whatever God would listen. After all that they’d been through, after Eddie almost dying more times than he dared to remember, it should have been him lying there. He wanted it to be him lying there. Buck didn’t deserve this at all.
----------------------------
Buck felt his eyes flicker open. Where was he? The last thing he remembered was being on that ladder, then a bright light, and then some crazy dream. Like it was real, but he had been in some kind of alternate reality where Bobby was a crazy ghost, Doug was there, so was Daniel. It had looked perfect from the outside, but it wasn’t all that it seemed, so Buck had fought to get back to the life he’d chosen for himself. And now here he was, staring up at, what he presumed was a hospital ceiling, hooked up to machines monitoring just about every bodily process. He was sat up in the bed, and he tried to speak, but Maddie told him not to until the tube was out. His parents were there too, looking more than relieved. He didn’t know how long he’d been out for, but he guessed it had been a while.
“Oh, darling, thank goodness you’re OK.” His mom exclaimed as soon as Buck was extubated. “We were all so worried about you!” She stepped over and hugged him lightly, like she had never done before. Who knew that all it took for her to love him was a near-death experience? He’d have had one of those years ago if he’d known. “We’ve all been here waiting – your friends and your fiancé have been here the whole time.” Wait, what? His...fiancé? His eyes flicked to Maddie, who just tried to give him an innocent look. "He even sneaked your son in to see you.” His...son? “Such a lovely young man. He’s a credit to the both of you, so grown up and polite. You can tell he loves you very much. You’ve raised him very well. Though I can’t imagine why you hadn’t introduced us to them before. Five years you’ve been together, he said...” Five years? Was this still some alternate universe? Had he even woken up at all? Or was this some crazy mind thing where he jumped from scenario to scenario without ever waking up, something like that weird TV show that his dad used to watch? It felt real, he thought as the blood pressure cuff started to inflate around his arm. He could smell that horrible hospital smell. He could hear the heart monitors, his mom talking, people moving outside in the corridor. He looked helplessly at Maddie again, but she just held up a finger, excused herself to get him ice chips, she said to moisten his mouth and to soothe his throat, and left the room.
“We could tell that he loves you. You need someone like that in your life.” Phillip added. “I mean it was a bit of a surprise, I’ll admit. Never thought you’d settle down with a ready-made family. But if you’re happy, we’re happy, son.” Buck tried to speak, but nothing came out apart from a slight wheeze. He opened his mouth to try again, but before he could, the door opened, and in crept Eddie, a wide smile on his face as he saw Buck sat upright on the bed. He practically dived towards Buck, grabbing his hand as soon as he could reach it, leaning down to plant a kiss on the top of his head.
“Hey, welcome back.” He whispered into Buck’s hair. “Maddie says don’t try and speak; she’s just coming with your ice chips. Just play along, OK?” Buck tried to nod, but even doing that felt like his throat was being scratched from the inside.
“We’ll give the two of you some time.” Margaret said pointedly as she walked out of the room, Phillip following close behind. Maddie walked in a few seconds later, holding a cup and a spoon. Sitting on the other side of Buck, she scooped a couple of ice chips onto the spoon and fed them to Buck. They felt so good, so soothing, he thought as he swallowed them down, then looked at her for more.
“Not too many.” She smiled, giving a second spoonful. “Um, so, I guess you’re kind of wondering what’s happening?” She started, and Buck managed to whisper a pitiful “yeah”. “Where do we start?” She asked, glancing over at Eddie.
“You got struck by lightning when you went up the ladder.” Eddie started. “You died, Buck. For three minutes. And you’ve been in a coma for five days.” That made sense, at least as far as the whole “bright light then nothing” thing went.
“And mom and dad think you and Eddie are engaged.” Maddie continued. They could go through the ins and outs of the time Buck lost later, for now they just all needed to be on the same page. “That was my fault, we were all here, and the nurse said family only...” She trailed off. “You’ve been together five years...Eddie can fill in the details.” Eddie gave her a look that sarcastically said “thanks”, but to be fair, he had been the one to take the brunt of their parents’ interrogation, so he had to try and remember everything that had been said.
“We got engaged on our anniversary last year. We were on a hike, we have this perfect spot that we like to go to overlooking the whole city, and I took you up there last summer. When we got there, I brought out the picnic that I’d stashed in the bushes and set it up. I’d brought all your favourite foods, and we sat and ate lunch together, just watching the world go by. Then I brought out a box of your favourite chocolates, and you said you’d keep them for later, but I insisted on you having one, so you opened the box, and the ring was sitting right in the middle. I got on one knee, and you said yes straight away.” Eddie smiled. He’d perfected the ideal proposal in his head, just like he’d fantasised about their whole relationship over the past five days. Their first date, their first kiss, the first time they’d said “I love you” to each other. He’d made up this whole back story of their relationship. But none of it was real, he kept reminding himself. He was just making up cover stories for a lie that had spun way out of control.
“That sounds perfect.” Buck managed to say, smiling at the thought. “Wish I’d been there.” His eyes met Eddie’s deep dark ones, and he stared into them for what seemed like forever. He almost didn’t hear Maddie excuse herself from the room, only realising that she had left when the door closed behind her. “What else?”
“What do you mean, what else?” Eddie asked, furrowing his brow. “Oh, you mean what else have I told them?” Buck nodded slightly, closing his hand around Eddie’s, and looking at him expectantly. “We started dating after the earthquake. After we picked up Christopher, we went back to my place and made dinner together. Once he went to bed, we sat and watched a movie. You insisted on some cheesy rom-com, and once it finished, you went on a rant about how unbelievable it was.” That much had been true. It was his first experience of an epic Buck rant. Eddie couldn’t believe how long he let it go on for, it must have been at least fifteen minutes straight. “And you said that it was stupid because if you fell in love at first sight with someone, you should tell them, because there was no point in being in love if they were never going to feel the same. And then you told me that you felt like you were being hypocritical then because you had fallen in love with someone, and hadn’t told them, and you really should. And then you kissed me, and that was it, we’ve been together ever since.” OK, maybe that’s how Eddie wanted the rant to end, but it wasn’t. Buck had just huffed for a while and then put on Brooklyn 99.
“First date?” Buck prompted, a faraway look in his eyes. He looked like he was enjoying Eddie’s story about their fake romance. Might as well go all in, his parents might bring it up.
“First date...that was at an Italian restaurant. You looked gorgeous, dressed up in a suit and tie. We sat and held hands over the table after we ate, had far too much wine, and were far too happy and far too soppy.” He said. Thankfully he had glossed over that one to the Buckleys. “That was the first time I said I loved you too.” Buck let out a small, contented sigh at the thought of it, and then lay back and closed his eyes.
“Sounds perfect too.” He murmured. “Ice?” Eddie looked at him confused for a second, before realising what he meant. He picked up the cup that Maddie had left, which was now mainly water, and placed it to Buck’s lips to sip. He wet his mouth with it, and then sat back in the bed. “Thanks. When’s the wedding?”
“We haven’t set a date yet. We found a place, a vineyard around an hour away from the city.” Eddie started, remembering one that Ana had dragged him to for a family wedding once. The place was beautiful, with plenty of room for guests, and plenty of places for the perfect wedding photos. “It has a sheltered area with stone steps for the ceremony, and we want the photos taken in the vineyard. We’re just trying to arrange it now.”
“I’d love to see it.” Buck sighed. “If you chose it, it must be beautiful.”
“I’ll take you when you’re out of here.” Eddie promised. “We can book a wine tour or just go for lunch and walk around if you want.” Buck closed his eyes, and they sat in silence for a few minutes. Long enough for Eddie to think that he’d fallen back asleep. He tried to slip his hand out of Buck’s, but he held on tight and let out a small moan.
“Stay.” Eddie was powerless to say no. He had nowhere to go anyway. Athena had volunteered to pick up Christopher from school, and he didn’t have to work for the next few days. So, he just sat and held Buck’s hand. “How many kids?” He eventually murmured. “We having any more?”
“We’ll adopt, maybe two or three. You want a big family anyway.” Buck let out an “mmm” at that. He was a natural father, he had been to Christopher, so it was only natural that he would want another few running around the place. “We’ll move to a bigger place with a few more bedrooms, and you can be the dad you always wanted to be.” Buck loved kids, he’d told Eddie that the first time he’d brought up Christopher in conversation, and he could see the love in his eyes when he played with Jee or chased Denny round the playground. And especially with Christopher. When they built that skateboard for him, Eddie wasn’t sure who was having more fun, Buck or Chris. Although he could be strict when he wanted to be, so Eddie didn’t have to be the “mean” dad all the time...no, wait, hold on, this wasn’t real. None of this was real. It was some twisted fantasy in Eddie’s head. Because Buck didn’t want to be with him. If he did, he would have told him by now. They’d have done all that stuff, plus more. They would be planning the rest of their lives together, and not just as best friends, but as partners, as soulmates. Eddie felt a tear roll down his cheek and land on their intertwined hands, and he was powerless to stop it. Another came, then another until Buck realised that his hand was getting wet, and he opened his eyes.
“Hey, ssh. What’s wrong?” He tried to soothe, but Eddie just shook his head. He couldn’t tell Buck what was going through his mind, not now, when he’d just woken up from a coma. Not when he was probably still groggy from all the drugs coursing through his system. Maybe later he’d tell him. When their lives got back to normal.
“I’m just glad you’re OK.” Eddie sniffed. “I’m glad you’ll get to have all that.” He lifted his free hand to wipe the remaining tears from his face. “You’re going to be fine. I thought I’d lost you for sure this time, and now you’re going to be OK and live out the rest of your life with someone who loves you and can give you everything you’ve ever deserved. As soon as you’re feeling better, we can find you someone. I’ll be your wingman or whatever.” He tried to smile. At least if it wasn’t going to be him, it would be someone who was perfect for him. Not another Abby, who would abandon him at the drop of a hat, not another Ali, who hated the danger his job brought, and definitely not another Taylor. What Buck saw in that woman was beyond him. She had been...well, not good for him, and it had taken Buck years to see it. He hesitated to use the word “bitch” about any woman, but if there was someone who deserved that term...
Buck murmured “thanks”, but there was something lacking in his eyes. Like he was just going along with whatever Eddie said, not really interested in it. He’d seemed interested before, though. He wanted to see “their” wedding venue; his eyes had lit up when Eddie mentioned it. He smiled when Eddie brought up having kids...Maybe it was just too overwhelming for him. He had just woken up after all. Buck asked Eddie to lie him back down, and he pressed the button on the profiling bed until Buck said stop. Closing his eyes again, Eddie waited, still caressing his hand, until he was sure Buck had fallen asleep again.
“I’ll find you someone so special, someone who deserves you. Even though I want it to be me.” He whispered to the quiet room. He was a coward. He could only say those things when he was sure Buck wouldn’t hear him. Because he couldn’t ruin what they had. He couldn’t ruin their friendship. Christopher needed both of them. That kid had already lost one parent, he’d pleaded with Buck to come back to them when he was in his coma, he couldn’t lose him too.
“I want it to be you, too.” He eventually heard Buck murmur, and he sat bolt upright. Staring down at him, he felt his jaw drop slightly. Buck’s eyes were still closed, but a small, hopeful smile played on his lips. Like he was sure that’s what Eddie said, but a small part of his coma brain told him he was completely making it up. Slowly he opened one eye and reached up stiffly with his free hand, placing it on Eddie’s cheek. “All of that. With you. If that’s OK?” Eddie nodded, unable to form anymore words. This was completely unexpected, to say the least. “Now that’s all sorted, can we sleep?” He asked, moving his head to give Eddie enough space to rest his beside it. He knew his neck and back were going to hurt the next day if he stayed in that position, sat on the chair, leaning forward so that their heads were touching on the bed, but he didn’t care, he just kissed Buck on the cheek and settled down to the best sleep he’d had in days. They must have been out for about an hour before he felt a shake on his shoulder, and sleepily opened his eye to see Maddie standing over them, two coffees in her hand, a distinct lack of surprise on her face.
“I get to be chief bridesmaid, right?” She smiled as Eddie pulled himself away from Buck. “I mean, you know, it was my idea after all...”