Archive of Our Own

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Or at least, as good as any idea involving the Mafia did.

Even Kunikida had given his reluctant stamp of approval, but honestly, Dazai’s enthusiasm for the idea should’ve been an indication of how well this was going to go. Atsushi couldn’t quite complain as this was only happening due to his own actions.

A dinner with the Port Mafia.

Fukuzawa had arranged it, claiming that due to the truce they needed to get familiar with their somewhat allies. They needed to know them well enough to work with them as the need arose when Yokohama was threatened. (No one mentioned how such information could also work in their favor if they ever returned to enemies. Again.)

And in the aftermath of the Cannibalism virus, where they had gone toe to toe for the sake of their leaders, they needed to get things smoothed out if they ever wished to work together again.

And it had been…okay. For the most part.

Did Atsushi feel happy that they’d apparently let Q out and he could feel their leer all the way down the table? No. Did he want to have Akutagawa glaring at him the whole time, probably wishing six months had passed already so he could skewer him like a kebab? No. Did he want to learn that the helpful doctor who’d assisted him in beating Lucy was actually the Boss of the Port Mafia and the girl with him was actually his ability? No.

Did he want to sit next to Dazai and be subjected to occasionally getting put in the crossfire of him and Chuuya kicking at each other under the table? Definitely not.

He endured it though. And overall, the Port Mafia didn’t seem too bad on a personal level. They were probably crazy, but it’s not like the Agency could go about casting stones over something like that.

He thought it’d just be dinner between the Agency and the top authorities of the Port Mafia. Then he could hopefully take home enough leftovers for him and Kyouka to eat for at least a few days and pray that would be good enough for “team-building.”

He didn’t anticipate after dinner drinks at a bar bordering Mafia territory.

Technically, Atsushi felt that he should’ve been allowed to leave with the younger kids. He couldn’t legally drink yet, so why couldn’t he leave with Kenji and Kyouka? Even Q had been escorted away with promises that they wouldn’t be put in their cage as long as they behaved.

The president and the Mafia boss had also slipped away somewhere as well.

But no, he was stuck here with the other older members of the two organizations. Though it was somewhat depressing that almost all of the older members were in their late teens or somewhere in their 20’s. It didn’t bode well.

At least he was learning more here than he had during the dinner.

For example, Chuuya was apparently a lightweight. One glass of wine had made him tipsy, and now at two and a half he was conked out on the counter of the bar, his hat lying next to him. Dazai had dashed away the moment he’d fallen unconscious, claiming a need to retrieve a pen or marker.

No one stopped him so Atsushi was trying not to worry about the chaos that would ensue upon his return.

Hirotsu was a distinguished drinker, nursing a whiskey as he kept an eye on everyone else. Kajii was by his side both out of habit and also to help reign the scientist in if he got too zealous over either Yosano or his bombs.

Yosano and Kouyou were getting on like a house on fire over their preferred drinks of wine and sake respectively. They were giggling at all of the tea being spilled and Atsushi just knew this would come back to bite them.

Neither Akutagawa appeared to be drinking. Gin at least had gotten a virgin drink like Atsushi, but Akutagawa waved all drinks away and was instead staring at the door Dazai had left through, his motivations for staying quite clear. Higuchi was well on her way to being drunk in contrast, her own eyes never leaving Akutagawa.

Ranpo wasn’t drinking either, but there was enough candy and gossip to keep him satisfied.

Surprisingly, Tachihara and Kunikida seemed to be content with drinking next to each other, though Tachihara’s attempts to engage Kunikida in conversation were not in the agenda apparently. That didn’t stop Tachihara from trying.

And Tanizaki — Atsushi glanced over and jerked back at the sight — had somehow gotten his hands on alcohol despite his age, and Naomi was curled up in his lap even though she was younger than him.

He was also talking, clearly tipsy, as Atsushi tuned back into what was being said.

“— And that’s how my first shopping trip with Yosano-san went.” He told an inattentive Higuchi as he finished off his drink with a slight shudder. “Seriously, forget the entrance exam, I don’t think you can be considered a full member of the Agency until you’ve been forced to go shopping with Sensei.”

Atsushi felt himself shiver as well at the memory of his own first shopping trip. Though tiring and long, he couldn’t say it had been too bad until they were on that train dealing with those bombs.

“Ah, you consider me to be a greater test than our exam?” Yosano cooed, smirking at how Tanizaki jumped at her words. “What an honor! I’ll have to take you with me next time.”

Blood drained from his face. “No…”

Naomi latched onto him. “Don’t worry.” She purred. “I’ll come along, too.”

“Ah, but — I — well —”

“I thought going to do a case with Ranpo-san was more of what made you a real member!” Atsushi interjected to save his friend.

“Hey!” Ranpo pouted, turning his sights on Atsushi.

“I mean!” Atsushi quickly clarified. “Because you’re our best detective! So getting to see how you work is something only the agency can see regularly!”

“Hmmm.” Ranpo squinted at him. “You’re right so I’ll let that slide…”

“Well, it is true that attempting to take Ranpo-san on public transportation and get to a location on time can be quite the challenge.” Kunikida picked up the slack to everyone’s surprise. A true sign that the alcohol was probably getting to him.

“Eh, Kunikida-kun…” A dangerous smile lit up Ranpo’s face.

To avert disaster, Atsushi turned to the mafiosi who’d been watching in delight. “So, does the Port Mafia have anything like that?” He sweated slightly over the fact that he was turning to criminals to prevent a civil war in the Agency. “Like, any traditions or tasks or just something that everyone goes through in the Mafia?”

Akutagawa scoffed and sent him a glare. “Of course not, weretiger. Unlike your childish agency, we uphold long, proper traditions and if we spoke of what it takes to be a true member of the Port Mafia, we’d have to ki—”

“What about that thing?” Higuchi surprisingly interrupted him, just as tipsy as Tanizaki if not more so. “The one we can acknowledge but don’t really talk about.”

All Port Mafia members stiffened at that, making the Agency immediately on alert.

Gin moved first, her hands forming quick signs to get her point across.

Higuchi’s nose wrinkled. “What does that traitor have to do with anything? Why shouldn’t we talk about it, especially if he’s near?”

“Higuchi.” Akutagawa’s tone was harsh. “Considering the subject matter, you should not —”

“Why?” She whined. “He left! It’s not like he cares about Chuuya-san now, if he ever did.”

“That’s not —”

“This has to do with Executive Nakahara?” Kunikida seemed intrigued by the prospect.

“Well, sorta.” Higuchi threw back the rest of her drink. “Y’see, everyone in the Port Mafia gets a crush on him at some point.”

Dead silence.

“Really?” Yosano asked, her eyebrows jumping up.

“Higuchi!” Tachihara hissed, his face bright red. “There’s probably a reason why we’re not supposed to —”

“Even you?” That was the part tripping Atsushi up. After all, everyone with eyes, except maybe the target himself, knew that Higuchi had an undying crush on Akutagawa, for better or worse.

“Well,” Higuchi blushed and looked away, “have you ever seen him training? The skill, the precision, the focus… And then when he lifts his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face…” Her eyes glazed over as she descended into a dearly held memory.

“Still, it can’t be everyone.” Tanizaki pointed out, though he was casting a curious glance or two over at the slumbering executive now.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Ni-sama!” Naomi slapped his chest playfully. “Even if he’s not as great as you, he is really hot.”

“What?!”

He had a point, but as Atsushi looked over at the Port Mafia members, Akutagawa, Gin, Tachihara, and even Kouyou had seemed slightly red and refused to look anyone else in the eye. Ranpo apparently saw the same thing, perhaps even more, and he immediately started chuckling, pulling out a new snack to watch the show.

“Okay, so maybe not everyone.” Higuchi conceded. “Like, Hirotsu-san’s really old —” Said old man nearly choked on his drink at that. “—and he had to, like, babysit Chuuya and Dazai when they were teens, so of course, he probably wouldn’t get a crush.”

At that, Kunikida pulled out his notebook and made a note. Leaning over Atsushi sweat-dropped at the reminder to “Send Hirotsu-san a gift basket for dealing with teen Dazai as an apology and thank you.”

“But seriously, Chuuya-san, just like, transcends sexuality. It doesn’t matter what you’re normally attracted to, he is your type.” Higuchi concluded.

“Uh, should we be talking about him with him right there?” Atsushi asked, glancing at Chuuya, who hadn’t moved an inch in quite a while.

“Ah, don’t worry about it.” Kouyou waved him off. “He probably can’t tell anything that’s going on right now.” Then she snorted. “Though even if he did, the lad would either not comprehend what exactly we’re talking about or would misconstrue it to think that most only want him for his strength.”

“He doesn’t know how hot he is?” Naomi was the one to ask that, incredulous.

“Oh, he knows he’s attractive. I worked hard to make sure he had all the tools to be so. He just can’t seem to comprehend people actually, genuinely being attracted to or liking him in that regard.”

That was…kinda sad.

“But still, all of you?” Tanizaki was stuck on that point.

Gin looked off to the side, her blush rising over her mask. “He’s always been very…kind.” She signed and Hirotsu translated for her. “Especially when we were first brought in, he tried to look after us.”

Atsushi raised an eyebrow at Akutagawa. The mafioso, in turn, avoided his look and coughed. “It was…quite a change when he took over my training after Dazai-san left.” Then he scowled. “Though he became troublesome over such things like taking medicine or eating or taking breaks.”

“That’s…” It was somewhat worrisome that Chuuya putting in the effort to keep Akutagawa alive was what ended up turning him off.

“Chuuya has always been a bit of a mother hen over those he cares for.” Kouyou nodded.

“How ‘bout you?” Yosano asked her.

Kouyou thought about it for a moment. “I can’t say that I exactly had a crush on him. I was his mentor and helped raise him after all. But,” she admitted, “seeing how he looked for the Crimson Cranes infiltration did make my heart flutter.”

Wow, so even —

“Then again, that could have just been pride over how far that street urchin who wore hand-me-downs and thought a single bar of soap was adequate for all washing needs had come.”

Atsushi realized he could never let Kouyou know his own washing habits. Though she probably wouldn’t care as long as he wasn’t passing them on to Kyouka.

Kajii gave a dreamy sigh from Hirotsu’s side. “He listened so attentively to my lecture on making the perfect bomb. He even took notes.” He shook his head. “Alas, I’m not all that into men, unless I’m getting to experiment on them…”

Everyone’s gaze turned to Tachihara. He flinched back. “Me? Have a crush? On Chuuya of all people?” He laughed nervously, his eyes darting every which way. “Don’t-don’t be ridiculous.”

Atsushi hadn’t thought that anyone could be more obvious than Higuchi, but he stood corrected.

“Anyway, are you sure you’ve never felt anything for him, Gramps?” Tachihara scrambled for an escape, desperately looking to Hirotsu.

“No.” Hirotsu smacked his hopes into the ground. “However, you seem to be under the wrong impression about this rite of passage you’ve been talking about.”

Everyone blinked at that.

“And what’s the truth?” Kunikda asked.

Hirotsu took a long sip of his drink and gestured for another before he turned to the group. “The truth is that everyone who meets Nakahara Chuuya wants him in some capacity.” He said plainly. “It is not a phenomenon exclusive to the Port Mafia.”

There was a short pause at that.

“What… does that mean… exactly?” Even Kajii seemed confused by that.

“His power, his body, his looks, his loyalty.” Hirotsu shrugged and picked up his refill. “People tend to want him in one form or another. Even the Boss, upon meeting him in person, decided that he wanted to recruit him instead of assassinate him anymore.”

“Wasn’t he, like, fifteen?” Higuchi scrunched her face as she tried to recall the rumors.

“Yes.”

“You recruited a child?” Kunikida started to get up in arms but Kouyou shot him a cool look.

“Maybe the organization that employs two fourteen year olds, one of whom was one of ours, shouldn’t be talking.” She shifted to hide her distaste behind her sleeve.

“It’s not like any of the assassinations before that were successful anyway.” Hirotsu pointed out nonchalantly. “I was supposed to kill him myself, and I only came close to winning because of Dazai-kun’s assistance.”

“Wait, then how did he not get killed?” Tachihara leaned forward at the story.

“He managed to slip away at the last second, and then a third party interrupted us and allowed us to capture him.” Hirotsu sighed. “And Dazai-kun had already taken a liking to him.”

They all winced at that.

“Hmm.” Yosano hummed. “Admittedly, I can see the appeal.”

“Yosano-sensei!” Kunikida pushed his glasses up his nose, sobering up at such an appalling thought.

“What?” Yosano shrugged. “He’s handsome, he’s good in a fight, he’s got some decent manners when Dazai’s not around, and he’s rich enough to buy plenty of wine.”

“Don’t worry, Ni-sama! He can never compare to you!” Naomi reassured Tanizaki, who chuckled helplessly.

“Still, for such reasons — you can’t —” Kunikida stammered.

“Haven’t you found him attractive before?” Ranpo finally got his revenge by pointing out. “When you, Atsushi, and Dazai teamed up with him to lure in the head of that drug ring and he was disguised as a girl?”

Kunikida froze and gulped.

Atsushi remembered that mission. Because of shared interest in the ring’s downfall and the President being reluctant to put any of the Agency’s women in an uncomfortable situation while baiting the criminal, the Mafia had agreed to provide the honey trap. And they’d certainly delivered when the three of them arrived at the meeting point to find a stunning and petite woman already waiting for them, dressed up for the gala they were infiltrating.

Atsushi hadn’t realized it was Chuuya until Dazai had lit up and given him away, attempting to drape himself over Chuuya and earning an elbow to the stomach for the trouble.

…Chuuya had looked gorgeous then. He never would have guessed he wasn’t a girl.

“Oh ho ho!” Yosano smelled blood in the water and struck. “Did you like how he was while dressed as a woman? Did he meet any of the requirements on your list?”

“List? What list?” Atsushi heard Tachihara lean over to ask Higuchi.

“I don’t really want to know…” She replied.

“42.”

Yosano blinked. “What?”

Kunikida steeled himself and nodded. “Executive Nakahara, when disguised as a woman, fulfilled 42 of my 58 requirements for a romantic partner.” His honesty was incredibly bright.

But also stupid.

“42?!” Yosano yelled. “That’s more than you said I fulfilled!”

“In any case,” Kunikida ignored her and tried to move on, “it’s probably safe to assume that you have never been attracted to him, Ranpo.”

“Eh…” Ranpo unwrapped a sucker and popped it in his mouth. “He was kind of entertaining when we got trapped in that book. Even though I left him behind, I can’t say that he didn’t have some surprises up his sleeve.”

“Not you, too!”

As the chaos from being attracted to Nakahara Chuuya built, Atsushi decided to ponder the question himself.

He wasn’t quite sure if he’d ever felt attraction for anyone. He didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like or how it looked. He’d never had time in the orphanage to even hope for such a thing.

However, he couldn’t deny that it was something about the way Chuuya commanded the forces of the Port Mafia during the outbreak of Q’s curse that had inspired him to make this truce in the first place. And he admired the fact he’d been able to handle Dazai for as long as they’d known each other.

“Ugh!” Higuchi’s groan ended all of the bickering and Atsushi’s train of thought. “This is all useless anyway, because Chuuya-san isn’t even interested in this kind of stuff anyway.”

That stopped everyone in their tracks.

“Really?” Yosano put Kunikida down from where she was shaking him. “He doesn’t?”

“I know, right!” Higuchi was apparently very passionate about this. “I’ve tried setting him up before but he says he doesn’t have the time for it. And one of the secretaries tried to give him Valentines’ chocolate last time and he didn’t even realize it was Valentines’ Day.”

“No!” Yosano and Ranpo were both there for the gossip, with Naomi close behind now that she was invested.

Kouyou, Hirotsu, Akutagawa, and Gin paled though. “Oh, no.”

“Yes!” Higuchi continued her story. “And then when someone told him, he assumed it was for being a good boss.”

“Oh my god.” Naomi pressed her hand against her lips.

“I know.”

“Higuchi.” Akutagawa instantly had her attention. “What do you mean someone tried confessing to Chuuya-san?”

She blinked at him. “Oh, right… That’s another thing we’re not supposed to do or talk about.” She huffed. “But I don’t get why.”

“Higuchi-kun.” Kouyou’s voice was grave. “You don’t understand. You weren’t there. You really shouldn’t be —”

She closed her mouth with a snap suddenly and the hairs on the back of Atsushi’s neck stood at attention.

“Oh, no…” A sickly sweet and familiar voice called out. “Do go on, Higuchi-chan.”

Dazai had returned and was leaning against the door frame with a marker clasped in his hand. A smile that was too wide to be genuine cut across his face.

He straightened and slowly made his way across the room. His movements were like a predator stalking his prey and Higuchi was his poor victim.

“Really, you all have been having such an… interesting conversation.” The words were like poison on his lips, and Atsushi gulped. “I’m sure we can all talk more about it later.”

Atsushi was not looking forward to that conversation.

“For now though,” Dazai had finally reached Higuchi and he loomed over her, “tell me all about this poor, misguided soul who’s been sniffing around my dog.”

Higuchi was dead. Whoever that secretary was was probably also dead. Atsushi could feel it in his bones. He also knew that the combined might of the Agency and Port Mafia could not save them from Dazai’s wrath.

Although, perhaps one person could.

“‘Zai?”

Dazai immediately perked up at that, his focus redirected towards the redhead blearily looking up from his spot at the bar.

“Dazai?” Chuuya rubbed his eyes as he glanced around, clearly looking for his former partner.

Dazai clearly reshuffled his priorities as he chose to ignore Higuchi and bounced over to Chuuya. Higuchi took a large gulp of air and clutched her chest, the experience having sobered her up.

Atsushi found his attention drawn to Dazai and Chuuya though, the same as everyone else.

“Ah, Chuuya!” Dazai chirped, his smile having gone back to normal. “I nearly didn’t see you there, I didn’t know slugs could melt into puddles when exposed to alcohol.”

Chuuya stared up at him, his eyes searching for something. “You…”

“Cat got your tongue? I suppose a dog like you could only —” Dazai was cut off as a gloved hand shot up and yanked him down so they were face to face.

“You fucking left me, you bandaged bastard!” Chuuya yelled, fury painting his face.

“Oh.” Kajii tapped his fist upon the palm of his other hand. “This is the amount of alcohol it takes to send Chuuya on a Dazai or tangentially-Dazai-related rant.”

Atsushi wondered how often these rants occurred for Kajii to know how much alcohol it took for Chuuya to get into this state.

“It does seem worse though, since Dazai-kun is actually here.” Hirotsu commented.

Dazai just blinked at Chuuya’s outburst. “I did.” He blandly said. “But is this really the place to…”

“Shut it!” Chuuya growled. “I already know why ya did. It’s understandable, I get it, fine.”

“Wait, really?” Dazai’s eyebrows were not the only ones to rise at that statement.

“Yeah.” Chuuya leaned in until their noses practically touched. “But what I don’t get, is how you have the gall to call me partner when it’s not only been four years since we were together —”

“Um, why wouldn’t those count?”

“But you went and already fucking replaced me!” Chuuya pointed an accusing finger at Kunikida. Kunikida, on his part, automatically raised his hands in surrender, though his expression conveyed that he wasn’t fully sure why.

“Ah.” Dazai lit up with realization. He grinned. “Are you jealous?”

“What? Fuck no!” Chuuya squinted at him hard. “I’m just saying that if you had to replace me, then respect your fucking partner by not acting like we’re still partners. He’s the one who has to put up with your suicidal ass as you mess around on missions, flirt with women, steal his money, don’t do your reports, feel the need to jump into every single body of water…”

Despite obviously being drunk, Chuuya was surprisingly articulate when listing Dazai’s faults.

Atsushi watched as Kunikida pulled out his notebook and added Chuuya to the gift basket list, nodding along with too much understanding.

“Anyway, what was I saying?” Chuuya pulled back a bit to reorient himself. “Oh, right!” He returned to his aggressive stance. “If that was it, then fine! Better for you to work with someone who can watch out for a beanpole like you. But no, that’s not all you’re replacing. What’s this whole Shin Soukoku thing?”

Dazai blanked out with surprise before returning to normal. “Well, Yokohama will need a new generation —”

“New generation?!” Chuuya started shaking Dazai. “Unlike between our bosses and us, those two ain’t even a full generation away. They’re like, what, two, four years younger? That’s like passing the baton to your younger sibling.”

“Huh.” Atsushi hadn’t even thought of it that way when Dazai had talked about teaming up him and Akutagawa.

“But really? Shin Soukoku?” Chuuya waved his free hand, fully agitated. “They’re not even Double Black! They’ve got some sort of Black/White Yin Yang motif going on! Matchmake them or whatever — I don’t care — but at least give them a name that suits them!”

“M-M-M—” Atsushi stammered as Akutagawa launched into uncontrollable coughs.

“Matchmake?!” Higuchi shrieked, red overtaking her features in either embarrassment or anger. With the way she glanced between her firearm and him, Atsushi assumed it was the latter.

“And don’t think Lynchpin didn’t tell me about Souheki! You’re seriously just giving a name to any duo you’re part of, huh!”

Dazai turned to glare at Ranpo, but the master detective just grinned and ate his snacks even faster.

“It’s just…” Chuuya seemed to deflate and he finally let go of Dazai. He turned back to the bar to grab his wine with a huff. He was practically pouting and Atsushi thought it shouldn’t be so cute. “Ugh. Maybe I should take the Boss up on his offer to get a new partner.”

The temperature in the room plummeted. “What?” Dazai’s voice was completely flat and his expression was dark as he returned his stare to Chuuya.

“Yeah, he’s been bugging me about it ever since you left.” Chuuya shrugged as he took a sip, seemingly oblivious to Dazai’s worsening mood. “I’ve always turned him down because it’s not like I need anyone. I’m perfectly capable on my own.”

“So Mori-san’s been suggesting such a thing.” Dazai tilted his head in a menacing manner that made Atsushi want to crawl away and hide.

He really hoped Dazai didn’t try murdering Mori after all of the effort they’d just put into keeping both him and the truce alive.

“I’ll have you know that loads of people want to work with me!” Chuuya jabbed his finger at him. “I’ve had multiple people come up to me saying they want to stay by my side or follow me anywhere I go or that they would even die for me.” He pulled his hand back slightly at that last one. “Of course, I’d prefer to avoid that last one, but clearly it’s a sign of how good of an executive I am.”

Chuuya was practically sparkling with a smug smile on his face at that revelation.

Atsushi was in despair over Dazai’s blackening mood.

He’s pretty sure that this was what Kouyou meant about Chuuya misinterpreting people’s compliments or confessions. He can’t help but think that those poor people were probably interested in Chuuya and he missed them shooting their shots entirely.

His devotion to his work was something else.

On the other hand, this was the exact topic that Chuuya had been helping to distract Dazai from.

“Really.” Dazai’s monotone was scarier than when he threatened someone with a cheery smile. There was no way this could possibly get worse—

“Hell, even that rat bastard wants me to work with him.” Chuuya frowned at that before drinking the last of his wine. “Then again, it seemed that he wanted me to be his subordinate more than anything…”

Dazai’s whole body froze for a second before he clutched Chuuya’s face and wrenched it towards him. Chuuya let him, only wrinkling his nose slightly. “Chuuya, where did you see Fyodor?”

Chuuya’s brow furrowed. “Boss sent me to check that Ace actually had him and wasn’t bluffing.” Chuuya scoffed. “Of course, he certainly fucked that up seven ways to Sunday, didn’t he? Ane-san even said she told Boss that —”

“Chuuya, focus.” Dazai ordered, which immediately caught Chuuya’s full attention. “You need to tell me exactly what he said to you.”

“Hah?” Chuuya’s head tilted as much as it could in Dazai’s tight grasp.

“Tell me, Chuuya.” Their foreheads were practically touching as Dazai pulled him closer to gaze into his eyes.

Chuuya clearly didn’t understand his urgency, but he gave in anyway. “The rat bastard said that he’d love to have me under him someday.”

Atsushi didn’t know what to feel anymore.

However, he knew, without a doubt, that Fyodor had not been talking about making Chuuya his subordinate.

Dazai’s rage was a peculiar thing.

You never would have known simply looking at his face that he was undeniably furious. It was some sort of instinct, perhaps one born from the orphanage or maybe even an animal one from the tiger, that told Atsushi that Dazai was the most dangerous person in the room right now.

Atsushi hoped that wherever Fyodor was locked up was completely secure, because he could see Dazai breaking in and killing him just for daring to toss an double entendre at his former partner.

Or was their partnership really as over as Chuuya made it out to be?

From Dazai’s reaction, perhaps it wasn’t as completely ended as it seemed.

“Oh, dear.” Kouyou murmured, and Atsushi couldn’t help but feel that that was an understatement.

Either heedless of the danger, or maybe even far too used to it from Dazai, Chuuya pulled away and turned back to his glass as he snorted. “As if I would ever work for him.” He was disappointed to find that he’d already finished it off. “That asshat has all of your worst traits times ten and somehow manages to throw annoying religious overtures into the mix as well.”

The dark aura that had been gathering over Dazai in the last few minutes, especially when Chuuya pulled away, disappeared as suddenly as he came. “Chuuya prefers me over Fyodor?” He innocently (or probably not-so-innocently) asked.

“Tch!” Chuuya turned back and poked at his forehead. “Don’t worry; you’re still the number one pain in my ass.”

God, Atsushi hoped that wasn’t an innuendo and Chuuya just meant it figuratively.

Dazai smiled at that though, and somehow that was scarier than when he was contemplating murder. “As I should be.” He seemed proud of that.

“Whatever.” Chuuya lifted his glass to order another drink—

But Dazai plucked it from his hands and set it back down.

“Hey!”

“Uh uh. Time for little mafiosos to go to bed.” Dazai scooped up Chuuya’s hat and plopped it on his head before pulling Chuuya up from his seat and grabbing his coat as well. When Chuuya stumbled, both from the alcohol and the sudden change in position, Dazai brought him in close and braced him with his arm around his waist.

“Oi! I’m perfectly fine, Mackerel!” The flush that’d been present ever since Chuuya had woken up spoke differently though as well as the slight sway when he took a step.

“Nope! We’re going home!” No one stopped Dazai from directing Chuuya to the door, not even Chuuya himself. “Bye bye, everyone! It’s been fun!” He waved as they walked out.

Silence reigned as the tingle of the door’s bell faded away.

“So… we’re just letting that happen?” Atsushi questioned which group should be more worried. The Agency for letting one of their members take home a mafia executive, or the Mafia for having one of their members being dragged away by a detective, and Dazai at that.

“What the hell was that?!” Tachihara looked somewhat crushed as the question burst out.

Hirotsu calmly sipped at his whiskey. “I believe the kids are calling it a situationship nowadays.”

That snapped Kunikida out of it. “What was that?” He bellowed. “Your executive just abducted — with Dazai of all people —”

“It was clearly the other way around.” Yosano pointed out, even as she quizzically stared at where they’d just been.

“How does he even know where a Mafia executive lives?!”

“Dazai used to frequently spend the night at Chuuya’s place, and Chuuya hasn’t moved in the past four years from his main residence.” Kouyou explained with a sigh. “Though even if he did move, it’d take little effort on Dazai’s part to find him.”

“Pretty sure Chuuya knows where that Dazai guy lives, too!” Kajii popped a slice of lemon into his mouth to everyone’s disgust. “He refuses to say where though.”

Kunikida stiffened, but Tanizaki was still trying to figure things out and interrupted the incoming rant. “No, seriously, what was all that?”

“That was Soukoku.” Kouyou intoned, a certain weight placed on the title.

Ranpo burst out laughing at that. “That’s certainly the best way to put it.” He managed to get out as the other Agency member turned to him.

Akutagawa delicately coughed as he scoffed at them. “That.” He said. “Was probably the closest thing to a true rite of passage that you were asking about earlier.”

“Ah.” Kouyou came to a realization at his words and Gin nodded as well.

Hirotsu chuckled. “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“That?” Atsushi couldn’t wrap his mind around it, and the other Port Mafia members that joined post-Dazai were in the same state. “What about that was…”

“The true trial of the Port Mafia four years ago,” Kouyou explained, “was having to bear witness to Soukoku’s…” She trailed off and pursed her lips, clearly at odds with how to describe all that.

“Shenanigans?” Higuchi offered.

“Hmmm. Not quite, but it’ll do.”

“What even are they?” Yosano pondered, tapping her chin. “Are they friends? Lovers? They can’t be mere rivals or enemies like that.”

“Hmph.” Akutagawa shot them all with a disparaging look. “Of course the likes of you could never understand the depths of their partnership, the form of which can never truly be —”

“You have no clue, do you?” Atsushi cut in, unimpressed.

Akutagawa turned away, pouting slightly. His coat twitched as he surely wished to set Rashomon upon him. “The Port Mafia decided to stop trying to understand years ago.”

“No one really knows.” Hirotsu sounded so tired about that.

“I don’t think even they know.” Kouyou added on.

“I know.” Ranpo shot a Cheshire grin at them all.

“Will you explain?” Atsushi asked, already knowing the answer.

“Absolutely not.”

“More importantly,” Hirotsu turned towards Higuchi, “give me the details on that secretary who confessed.”

She blinked. “What?”

“Just because Dazai-kun is sufficiently distracted by Chuuya-kun does not mean he will forget.” Hirotsu frowned. “I hope simply transferring her out of the country will suffice.”

The dots were finally connecting for Atsushi, and from the looks on the others’ faces, he wasn’t the only one.

“You mean…” Tachihara gulped. “The reason you never should talk about wanting Chuuya or confess to him…”

“Dazai-kun is very possessive of what he considers to be his.” Hirotsu looked off into the distance like a retired soldier. “And Soukoku, first and foremost, belongs to each other.”

“He certainly considers Chuuya his, even after all these years.” Kouyou’s lips curled with distaste. “Or his dog, as he would put it.” She rolled her eyes. “I still can’t believe that vagrant is hung up over that stupid bet.”

“Valentines’ Day was a nightmare.” Akutagawa’s thousand yard stare at this statement was somehow worse than any other abuse that he’d alluded to suffering from.

Gin signed at him and he nodded at her clarification. “Yes, more of a warzone. You’re correct.”

“For the sake of the Port Mafia, Ougai-dono made those rules.” Kouyou finished. “For the safety and sanity of everyone involved.”

Atsushi couldn’t help but think that it probably didn’t help as much as they’d hoped from their reactions.

“And… Dazai-san… wants us to be… like that.” Atsushi side eyed Akutagawa.

For the first time, it seemed like Akutagawa seriously thought about that and found it just as unpleasant.

However, Atsushi couldn’t be more grateful that he’d been brought to the Agency while Dazai was there and Chuuya was in the Port Mafia.

Because the duo of Soukoku as a rite of passage was one he would never want to face every single day.

Then again, the feeling between the two organizations seemed mutual in that regard.

Maybe it wasn’t quite so hard to get along with the Port Mafia as he’d first thought.