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He never understood the concept of family.
Not like everyone else seems to talk about it.
He knew he had a father, but he never saw him; he saw his mother, but she never knew him.
His grandparents were there, but they didn’t care about him. His brother existed, but Ogata didn’t care about him.
People talked about care, happiness, and warmth when talking about their family; even Usami used those terms to refer to him. Ogata never felt any of those when it came to his family. He didn’t feel anything, really.
For him, family was just those who fed you or taught you stuff, nothing more.
Now, looking at Vasily walk back and forth in the small room while rocking the baby they had practically adopted together, he thinks now he is starting to understand what they meant.
It was late at night, and both were woken up by the baby’s screams, with Vasily being the one who offered to go check what was wrong.
Ogata stayed in bed, unable to go back to sleep, wondering once again how they ended up in this situation. He didn’t dwell much on it, fully aware all this was his doing; he couldn’t let the kid freeze on the cold when he found him, and now a few months later he was dealing with the consequences of his actions.
Something he thinks should bother him more than it does. He is barely annoyed by the situation; being woken up at odd hours is indeed exasperating, but nothing new after the army; having to keep an eye on others to keep them safe wasn’t anything new either; the fact he did care if something indeed happened was the new thing.
So was the fact he worried about someone; fear wasn’t something he was familiar with, but it had made itself present a few times in the last few months—the times the kid didn’t want to eat, not knowing what he was even supposed to feed him with, not knowing the reason for the constant cries. Even with the help of the few people in the small area he had found himself in, it was too much for just himself.
Vasily arriving was life-saving, even if he would never admit it to the other man. He wasn’t as lost on what to do with a baby as he was, but still, he didn’t know that much, just enough to reassure Ogata he wasn’t fucking up and to give help when needed.
He knew the other man was there to kill him but had set it aside to help with the kid. If he ever wants a rematch of that duel, Ogata would be happy to give it to him. But something tells him Vasily would never ask.
He could still hear the cries from the bed, and unable to go back to sleep, he chose to leave the bed and see how Vasily was doing. He always had a harder time calming the kid when he was crying, which is why Ogata was the one who usually took care of that. The kid seemed to trust him more. For some reason.
He stayed by the door, looking at Vasily rocking the baby to get him back to sleep. Sometimes he was surprised by the care the other man showed for the kid, treating him as if he were the most delicate thing in the universe. Ogata dislikes the fact that Vasily could say the same thing in the way he treats the kid.
That little demon really has them under his spell.
Not that he hates it.
Finding the kid and then Vasily joining in and helping in taking care of him taught him stuff he never thought he was capable of learning. Care, happiness, and warmth were foreign concepts for him just a few months ago, and now he thinks he would never be able to live without them.
He couldn’t keep living if he lost Vasily or Naoki. He would raise hell on earth if something happened to them; he really hopes he is never in that position.
He didn’t realize he was so lost in his thoughts until he felt Vasily shaking his shoulder. He blinked, bringing himself back to the present. Vasily was looking at him with a smile, Naoki on his arm, sleeping.
"Finally." He whispered to not wake up the baby. Vasily rolled his eyes before getting closer and offering the baby to Ogata, who took him with ease. A few months ago, he would have been afraid to drop the kid; now it feels like second nature for him to have him in his arms.
Turning around, he went back to bed, laying down Naoki first in the middle of the bed before resting at one of the kid's sides, Vasily soon after taking the other, snuggling as close as he could, keeping Naoki in between them, safe and warm where he belongs.
Before Ogata could close his eyes to sleep, Vasily carefully moved so their faces were close, and with care to not disturb the baby between them, he rested his forehead against Ogata, who couldn’t help but close his eyes at the contact.
It is still foreign for him to feel content, happy even, and it is something he hopes to never lose.